Apostle Malm has laid down the law for all
current and future Apostles!
Any man who declares that it is good to have a barbecue, or to cook and purchase food, drink and services on Sabbath: does so in defiance of the word of Almighty God. He sets a hypocritical example and is NOT zealous for the commandments of God, nor is he filled with love for God and man, for he defies God and encourages men to sin by his example!
It is lawful to obey God on the Sabbath and to do what God commands on the Sabbath. That includes those things necessary to convoke together. It is NOT lawful to do what God has forbidden on the Sabbath; that includes cooking, purchasing food, drink and services and engaging in extensive travel.
The man who is not filled with zeal for the Sabbath is NOT an apostle of God!
Doesn't this boring idiot have anything better to, like...watch the moon or something?
ReplyDeleteHe would be sinning if he walked outside to watch the moon! That's work. It involves unnecessary travel! I am going to make sure I BBQ some pork ribs this Saturday just to violate his decree.
ReplyDeleteMake sure you wear your suit and tie...and don't touch your bleeding wife!
ReplyDeleteSteve said, "Make sure you wear your suit and tie...and don't touch your bleeding wife!"
ReplyDeleteMY COMMENT - There are two ways to interpret Steve's comment and actually both were taught in the WCG. Husbands and wives were to abstain from sexual relations on the Sabbath. Of course, let's not forget there was only 2 approved sexual positions sanctioned by the WCG. Sooooo, if a couple were BOTH "makin bacon" on the Sabbath AND NOT doing it in one of the two WCG approved sexual positions, then that's double sinful. Essentially, the couple are toast and Lake of Fire material.
The other interpretation that the WCG also taught from the pulpit was that a husband was not to engage in having sexual relations commonly known as "a bloody Mary" with his wife.
I never had to worry about these things as I was single and alone not only in my WCG years, but also for most of my life even to this very day because I was too weird for any woman to be interested in because I was always worrying about Germans attacking America and the end of the age. Thank you Mr. Armstrong!
Richard
"Doesn't this boring idiot have anything better to [do?]"
ReplyDeleteMalm may be wrong about some things, but he is NEVER boring. That's why he appears in this rag so often.
"He would be sinning if he walked outside to watch the moon!"
FALSE. Walking outside your house is much shorter than a 'Sabbath day's journey.'
"Husbands and wives were to abstain from sexual relations on the Sabbath."
FALSE. It was recommended in our church area.
"let's not forget there was only 2 approved sexual positions sanctioned by the WCG."
FALSE. There were no approved or disapproved positions. This false notion was clarified by HQ at one point.
Maybe you were all just kidding, rather than lying. In either case, hahaha!
Lotsa Joking Liars! said...
ReplyDelete"Doesn't this boring idiot have anything better to [do?]"
Malm may be wrong about some things, but he is NEVER boring. That's why he appears in this rag so often.
MY COMMENT: I've read his material, and he's boring...and an idiot.
"He would be sinning if he walked outside to watch the moon!"
FALSE. Walking outside your house is much shorter than a 'Sabbath day's journey.'
MY COMMENT: Not if he walked to Jerusalem. :-)
"Husbands and wives were to abstain from sexual relations on the Sabbath."
FALSE. It was recommended in our church area.
MY COMMENT: I can picture it now. Some single, boring, idiotic "minister", fresh out of A.C., "Brethren, I recommend that you go home immediately after services and have sex in any position.". All the single people are the first ones out the door.
"let's not forget there was only 2 approved sexual positions sanctioned by the WCG."
FALSE. There were no approved or disapproved positions. This false notion was clarified by HQ at one point.
MY COMMENT: I guess you didn't read Herbie's sex book, "The New Dimension".
Maybe you were all just kidding, rather than lying. In either case, hahaha!
MY COMMENT: Maybe we were all just telling the truth and kidding. hahaha!
Oooop! Correction: Herbie's sex book was "The Missing Dimension". Us single people were turned on by it. Couldn't wait to get married so I could try out the two positions.
ReplyDelete"REAL Apostles Do Not BBQ on Saturdays!"
ReplyDeleteThat is totally accurate.
There are no real Apostles today to do the grilling on the barbeque, even if it is after sunset after the Sabbath.
A blog is an electronic rag?
ReplyDeleteNow there's a stretch.
I guess a blog can be and "electronic rag," but I'm thankful blogs exist.
ReplyDeleteYes, the variety gets confusing sometimes, but the perpetrators of superstitious nonsense no longer have the field day they once had. When they publish their stupid rantings, someone calls them on it almost immediately. Must drive them nuts.