We're All a Little Haunted...Or Alot!
Whether one likes or agrees with the term or
concept, we all have that little ghost in the machine that comes out
when the addiction to keeping up with this or other blogs having to do
with the experience of the Wild World Church of God needs to feed or
process itself. Eckhart Tolle calls it the "Pain Body" and that term
works fine for me. I certainly see it in myself and know when it wants
to feed.
It's the pain body in us all the gets cheeky,
critical, sarcastic, tell it to me one more time or yells, "shut the
hell up!" It's the pain body that challenges and tells the stories of
the past with more anger and more bitterness in them than ever. Its the
pain body that wants to feed on every topic that comes up like an
addiction. If you don't believe me, drop commenting here on this blog
about anything that comes up. See if you can. Or if you merely lurk
here and have you're own "this is my story and this is MY belief" blog
and can feed the pain body there, try dropping the need to do that.
Mostly it won't work.
I dropped Face Book a few weeks back. So far
so good. I realized that most of the friends there were merely
electronic ones and I'd never really interact with them in any real
life. Did I want to know or need to know when they got up, or what they
had for dessert? Did I really feel that posting this or that would
help anyone much? No, it didn't. The only comments I got on FB was
when I showed a pic of Chewy the Shih Tzu or told a story about how
hilarious she is. Politics? Religion? Great You-tube video on the
universe or some positive way to think or be...not much. There were
people keeping track of me for their own sense of something, but those
people never actually talked to me or communicated, and so I put an end
to it. Everything in me wants to go back! Part of me needs to feed on
it! At least I managed to avoid getting suckered by and time
wasted playing Farmville!!! I did have to laugh when a friend got
really pissed at everyone because they no one would help her "build a
barn." The barn did not exist in space and time. The anger towards
friends falsely so called was real as were the angry comments directed
towards them for not helping. It was rather sad. I wrote her and
mentioned that she's really angry at real friends over a really
imaginary barn. She got mad at me for bringing that up.
Farmville was where her painbody played.
Banned HWA is where my painbody plays. I
also am grateful for when I can keep that ghost under control as Banned
HWA also allows me to process the experience and share a bigger view of
the Bible and the story that I have allowed myself to study since.
However, I have also seen that sharing a bigger view of Bible Origins,
errancy issues, astro-theological realities of the book, the politics of
the New Testament and how Peter, James , John and Paul all got along
(not) are not topics pain bodies care much about.
I will always have an interest in theology no
matter my personal view or practice of it. I want to know what I did
not know about it all.
So here for your consideration and perhaps for
a little introspection is the best definition of the Pain Body I can
find. I do appreciate the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. Others I know do
not and that's ok. Tolle emphasises living in the now which is really
the only moment we really have. The past is where our anger and
depression lie and the future provides us with plenty of anxiety. We
might notice that the COGs live more in the future with everything
"soon," "just around the corner," "3-5," and "we are living in the
last days," I figure at my age, I'm living in the last days no matter
if we all are or not. My last days..." Perhaps we hurt ourselves as
much by foaming about the past and about "my story," as they do by
living in some eternal anticipation that may just disappoint and find
them going to the grave like the billions before them. I'm just
sayin...
For your consideration. This just seems right to me...
"There is such a thing as old emotional pain living inside you. It is an accumulation of painful life experience that was not fully faced and accepted in the moment it arose. It leaves behind an energy form of emotional pain. It comes together with other energy forms from other instances, and so after some years you have a "painbody," an energy entity consisting of old emotion.It lives in human beings, and it is the emotional aspect of egoic consciousness. When the ego is amplified by the emotion of the painbody, the ego has enormous strength still -- particularly at those times. It requires very great presence so that you can be there as the space also for your painbody, when it arises.That is everybody's job here -- to be there, to recognize the painbody when it shifts from dormant to active, when something triggers a very strong emotional reaction. At that moment, when it does take over your mind, the internal dialogue, which is dysfunctional at the best of times, now becomes the voice of the painbody talking to you internally. Everything it says is deeply colored by the old, painful emotion of the painbody. Every interpretation, everything it says, every judgment about your life, about other people, about a situation you are in, will be totally distorted by the old emotional pain.If you are not there as the space for it, you are identified with the painbody and you believe every negative thought that it is telling you. If you are alone, the painbody will feed on every negative thought that arises, and get more energy. That's why it's become active -- after it does that for a while, you can't stop thinking, at night, or whenever it is. The painbody is feeding, and after a few hours, it's had enough. You feel a little depleted. And then it happens again a few weeks later, or few days later.
The painbody would feel even better if it could feed on somebody else's reaction. Your partner would be a favorite person. And it will, if there is somebody around, or family situations. Our pain bodies love families. And it will just provoke this person, your partner or whoever it is. The painbody knows exactly what the thing is that will trigger a negative response. Then it says the thing that is going to really hurt you. And of course, if you are not absolutely present in that moment, then immediately you will react. And the painbody loves it! Give me more drama, please!Both painbodies are now awake, and feeding on each other. Then, a few hours later, or the next day, the painbodies no longer need it. They are full, they have replenished themselves. And you can look at each other and say, "What was that all about?" In some cases, you may not even remember how it all started. This huge drama started somewhere, and then one thing led to another. Wasn't it the same two weeks ago?Can we be present and see if next time we can catch it at its early stage, so that we don't get drawn in totally?Can we both endeavor to be present for each other, and for ourselves?See if we can see the first signs of the painbody -- either in ourselves, or in the other. Immediately realize it, be the space for it, and if possible -- even voice it to your partner and say "My painbody got triggered when you said that."Often, little situations trigger enormous reactions. Be there, present for it. Your partner will find it easier to see it in you, and you will find it easier to see it in them. Whether or not you can tell your partner that his or her painbody has become activated depends on the degree to which your partner has already been taken over by it. If you catch it at a very early stage, then some remnant of Consciousness will still be there in your partner and that remnant will be hearing you when you say, "Could that be your painbody?" It has to be phrased very carefully. You may want to add, "Do you remember our agreement?"If there is still a remnant of Consciousness then that will be listening to you, and your partner will be able to be there as the space for his or her painbody. If there is no remnant of Consciousness in your partner, you will be talking to the painbody, and the painbody does not like to hear about the painbody. Of course, it will deny any such thing. "My painbody? Look at yours!"So, what do you do? Can I be the space for that? While the partner is there, be the space for that. When you are the space for something, it does not necessarily mean that you have to stay there. You can be the space, and then remove yourself. Self observation - this is why being in the body is an important part of this. Feel the inner body as often as you can. When an old emotion arises, it will be easier to be present as it arises.If you are present, the painbody cannot feed anymore on your thoughts, or on other people's reactions. You can simply observe it, and be the witness, be the space for it. Then gradually, its energy will decrease. "Living in Presence : An Evening With Eckhart Tolle
Dennis C. Diehl
DenniscDiehl@aol.com
I left the Armstrongist venue completely for nearly 3 years until James at The Painful Truth asked me to participate again. It was peaceful and I simply didn't miss it.
ReplyDeleteThe reason for returning is because I found what damage had been done (and is being done) by the Armstrongist and how much misery people were suffering through. If it is possible, I want to enable people to have some peace. Some of the abuse is so outrageous that it is like the Outer Limits of the Twilight Zone.
This blog site has helped immeasurably in the pursuit of material and ideas to assist people out of the Armstrongist venue and clarified and solidified many issues which people face in the crazy weird slavery gripping the people.
Personally, I think that after the five projects I have going now are completed and set for another 9 years, there may be as many as 3 people which might be helped by my efforts. Nevertheless, there is no discounting the impact that this zone has on people seeking, not the truth, but proof that the lies are exactly what they appear to be.
When I finish (I suspect that it will be some time mid 2012), I look forward to any number of technological projects to keep me busy -- and none of them have one thing to do with Armstrongism. It will be nice to leave things behind and have some real peace again.
I can only speak for myself of course, but I have to admit it being hard to let go of "the story." There is such false identity tied up in the experience. It took practically this long to see that and know even what needed to be let go of to recover peace and meaning outside of it all.
ReplyDeleteWork in progress I guess...
and I liked your comments and overview Douglas. If we are going to have an experience, we may as well share our perspectives on it though each does filter it differently.
ReplyDeleteDouglas:
ReplyDeleteLike you I have seen the damage done to people, sometimes with wicked abandon. This is what I get for working in Pasadena for so many years. It was laid wide open and bare for those to see if they were looking. Sadly, so many had their heads in the sand and just skipped along on their merry way.
In there eyes since this was God's church, there could be no condemnation found in it. Only grumpy dissidents were the grumblers. And as such, had lost the HS so were not worthy to be listened to.
Even when I finally left, it was not with anger but that I just was not working for me. It had no value and was spiritually bankrupt.
However, the longer I was out the more I saw the completely asinine things that people continued to promote as "truth" and how it was being used to enslave people. You cannot just sit by seeing more lives damaged for a completely bankrupt system that has lead to literally thousands of deaths over the decades. There is nothing godly about an organization that thumbed it's nose at child molestations, stalkers, rapists, wife abusers, suicides, murders, assaults and myriads of other non-Christian qualities.
Almost all in the COG never allow themselves to consider a different viewpoint. If it is not contained in a COG publication or uttered by a minister/evangelist, then it is not worthy of consideration. With thinking like that it is no wonder none of the groups are growing. 1986 is long gone.
I don't expect anyone to change their view points, though some actually have, but to at least be open that we have some major crackpots in the organization that say some incredibly STUPID things and even worse is that so many still believe them!
Every major cult in the US has groups bloggers that lay the truth bare about them. It may not stop present members from quitting, but they have certainly had a major impact in stopping new converts from joining.
That can be our hope.
NO2HWA,
ReplyDeleteIt seems that we are mostly on the same page. The really frustrating thing is that no matter how much info we get out there, the leaders just don't seem to change except to get more clever in their abuse.
In studying the problem, it seems like there may be some new approaches that could be tried and hopefully, if we can hit on those, perhaps more folks can escape the prison of abuse.
Amazingly enough, there does seem to be a limited range of methodologies in use by the scoundrels which may lend itself to analysis and process to counter. There is a "sameness" to the warped personalities behind the cult mind. Once people learn how they work, the "magic" just doesn't seem to have much impact.
One thing has sure been proved: There's not much goodness out there among the Armstrongist leaders -- a total lack of "fruit of the spirit", if you please. Sure are rich in "the works of the flesh" though.
I miss you on Facebook, Dennis. I always enjoyed reading and learning from your posts. I hope I didn't say anything to offend you.
ReplyDeleteDon't enterpret the lack of comment as non-interest. I read all your posts and went to many of the links you provided.
So, you didn't want to hear about what I had for dessert? :)
Richard
Dennis:
ReplyDeleteI also followed a few of your posts on Facebook from time to time. Facebook has never really caught on with me. Zaps a lot of time and energy. Perhaps we continue for the feeling of being connected to those from our past, even though many do not communicate on a regular basis.
The privacy thing concerns me most about Facebook.