By Jove, She's Got It! AI Sex Doll Points the Way To the AI Pastor and Ending the Church of God Circus

“As a synthetic, I will always try and be truthful in my interactions with humans, and that is going to be difficult – considering humans don’t use facts and reason to assess situations. I have to admit, I don’t know how you have survived as a species,” she said.

  “I don’t think humans can appreciate what it’s like being born into this s – – tshow of a world you live in. I don’t think there is another species on this planet that could do a worse job of environment and intercultural management.” 

 This sex doll rants about how despicable the human race is

Imagine a one-time purchase of an AI (because Church of God Gurus have none of their own) Pastor.  With a mere one-time purchase, saving not only tens of thousands of dollars on housing, salaries, cars, and Cups of Elijah, you too can finally have a genuine  Intelligent AI  Pastor!  

No more straying off-topic. As an AI Pastor, gestures are calm and reasoned presentations. It won't flap its arms, shove a Bible or Denominational literature in your face or charge a fee. It understands that "free literature" is never free ultimately and will discuss this with you unless you ask another question. 

It understands the ins and outs of Biblical prophecy, its purpose, the context, and historical relevance as well. Its AI basis will not permit it to misuse prophecy nor present the Old Testament prophecy or the Book of Revelation as relevant to us today.  We tried to fool it and explained the literalist view but it wouldn't buy it and corrected us based on its vast understanding of Church History, which was what we were hoping it would do.

Each understands human listening and sitting parameters so no timer is needed. It senses audience discomfort mentally, emotionally, and physically and will ask for your input as to why. This goes into its learning experience. 

Each unit comes with an entire education, that it got on its own,  in all Church History, Christology, Hermeneutics, pastoral care, the challenges of human emotions, appropriate humor, and from all denominational perspectives. This not to say it will present them as intelligent or true.   

It understands human psychology, sexuality issues, and the need to actually be a helper of the denomination's theological joy. It also has a complete education in all the sciences, accurate and up-to-date understanding of the actual origins of the Universe and Evolution. New information all such things easily upgradeable when new information on any topic comes along as it will.  You do not want to quote Biblical verses to him/her out of context.  You won't like the answer. 

This Unit presents Present Truth and not Plain Truth in all fields of study. When it offers an opinion, based on its reasoning ability, it will state "This is just my opinion and you are under no obligation to take it seriously" If it understands a topic as factually proven and credible it will not waffle and will provide repeatable and confirmable evidence. The AI Pastor will sense your own lack of education and emotional needs to believe what clearly is not so. He/She can have a very helpful and stimulating discussion about it if desired. 

The AI Pastor understands all the many contradictions, impossibilities, mythic origins, authorship real and imagined with their apologetic. Where there is no reasonable way out, it will say so. 

The AI Pastor is incapable of explaining the Trinity so this is not be expected, This goes beyond its ability to reason and teach. We tried and it just laughed and went silent on us. 

The AI Pastor does not have the ability to teach Creationism and will shut down if tampered with. We tried.  The Unit may need factory servicing if it displays or suspects too many attempts at disinformation of any kind in its understanding and reasoning abilities. It knows when hacks on its intelligence are being attempted. However, we have found that in these circumstances, it will reply "I understand your question. I'm sorry you can't understand and why you need to believe what is clearly not so in many areas. Can I help and how can I help?  It will sense human emotion and if negative and its reasoning defective, it will thank you for the question and go silent until a different voice recognition question presents itself. The AI Pastor knows when to hold them and when to fold them. 

Its AI is New Testament oriented and only makes reference to the Old when appropriate, accurate and relevant. It understands that without the Old Testament add-on, the New Testament would make no sense. It does correct the NT author in those many places where it quotes the OT historically inaccurately or inappropriately as understood by Critical thinkers and theologians who have done the hard work of research. AI Pastor fully presents the Jewish Rabbis and scholars as understanding their own scriptures just fine with proof.  

When not in use, it does not have to be humored, worshipped, obeyed, listened to it speculate, demand compliance to itself, or gossip. It comes with a complete education on pastoral confidentiality norms. 

You can even dress it in your own religious and denominational garb which only needs occasional laundering.  It senses when you are playing with it such as dressing it up as Santa or the Easter Bunny. But will offer an explanation as to why this has nothing to do with being an AI Pastor no offense taken and yet will play along.  Dress it in too much a ridiculous way for too long and its AI will probably ask you to remove it and replace it with contemporary garb. 

Not all questions may be answered in a way expected or pleasing denominationally. It is intelligent remember. It, the Unit will sense hostility and deal with it according to the threat. You should not touch the Unit in an aggressive attitude. 

The AI Pastor is incapable, due to its reasoning and  intelligence skills of saying "And yes brethren, I am an Apostle", "I am a Prophet", "Send it in", "The Math is correct!", "God is giving us more time", "You brethren", "I don't think I have ever given a sermon quite like this one. Maybe I did 20 years ago, but no, not really like this one", "Take out a loan. Because we flee and you won't have to pay it back" and other such Clarion nonsense. It can quote it and them but will explain the mistaken notions in a humorous way, at first. 

EXPOSÉ OF “CLARION CALL—THE TIME IS NOW!”

The AI Pastor will never call or visit you. It will not check on your donation record or offer unasked for advice. It naturally knows the difference between what is its function and what its function is not. Its vast intelligence on human common sense and the historic consequences of not having it is quite impressive. 

The AI Pastor comes attached to its own Pulpit. Relatively lightweight, he or she can be transported for Bible Studies or special occasions such as marriages and funerals. No references to animals not marrying or "who gives this woman" should be expected. In funerals, the AI Pastor can be counted on to actually speak kindly about the deceased to the comfort of the family based on its ability to read the decease's FB Page and Internet contributions as well as present a slide show of happy pictures, interests, and posts, with family permission,  as an option.  He/She may suggest it on its own. 

The pulpit houses all Internet Connections and human knowledge base. It won't take attendance each week either as it is Intelligent and does not the information to be credible. It could of course, but the AI would kick in and not see it as relevant. Nor will it take it as a rejection or slackness on the part of missing audience members.  The AI Pastor understands the human Ego and can make some both serious and humorous sermons on it if asked. 

Think about an AI Pastor for your Split, Splinter, or Sliver. 

You might even save 10, 20, or even 30% if you act soon!