Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web of Corrupt Leaders

Sunday, March 20, 2022

PCG: Satan Attacks Gerald Flurry In Jerusalem - Hilarity Ensues!

 


Gerald Flurry hopped onto his vanity jet the other day and headed off to Jerusalem so he could educate them on how things really should be done because after all, he is a COG leader and knows EVERYTHING when it comes to biblical archeology and the Bible!

Once Flurry arrived in Jerusalem and since it is so close to Passover when Satan is always angry at the true church, he caused a water line to break. 

GF gave an “update” on his Jerusalem trip when he spoke from Edstone on the 12th. It was an exceedingly boring sermon, but I’ll mention a few things and comment on some. 
 
He told a lot of their woes after they got there; e.g., water line broke on the Sabbath. But “Satan attacks his church this time of year.” 

After that torturous day of Satan attacking them, Big Daddy and Lil'Stevie decided to go out for dinner where unbeknownst to them Satan was waiting in the kitchen and was cooking their food!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only “exciting part of the sermon” was when he told how there was “something toxic” in the food he ate for breakfast at this fine restaurant he and his son went to and so he proceeded to tell how he was vomiting all over his suit and almost fainting and being shaky. (I had to wonder if someone tried to poison him.) He said he said to himself at that time, “I have two to three seconds to live.” SF took him to his room, cleaned him up, and he slept all afternoon and that night. He said that “God healed him” from that. He further noted that there weren’t a lot of people in the restaurant when that incident happened and if there were he would have been taken the hospital and quarantined a long time. 

Flurry then continues on telling his listeners how close to death he came and that he was just like Herbert Armstrong who claimed was resurrected from the dead after having a heart attack in Arizona. To further humiliate Satan, Flurry's "christ" kept him alive so he can be here when that "christ" arrives to be crowned King of Kings on Flurry's coronation chair.

He had to bring up about HWA being sick several times and the time HWA said “he died” and came back to life. He even added that there are some Scriptures that he (GF) “may live until Jesus Christ returns.” He let them know that he will be 87 pretty soon but in good health. 
 
Then I don’t know if he was putting on an act or what, but he started to break up and almost start crying when he said his son “takes good care of him.” He said he has “been blessed with so much loyalty–and all the ministers are loyal and it’s so different than what happened with HWA.” (They are “loyal” because ministers are mostly all related to each other so as not to take a chance on someone being a traitor from the inside.) 

Afterward, once God in his divine mercy healed Flurry from this Satanic onslaught and needing to spend more tithe money, he hopped on his vanity jet and flew to England to visit his indoctrination "college" in Edstone. Remember, Edstone was Flurry's second choice for an English campus after being humiliated by the owners of Bricket Wood campus (now being developed onto luxury homes) when they refused to sell to him. Plus, Edstone was as close as he could get to three significant artifacts in COG mythology - the Stone of Scone and the coronation chair, Hill Tara in Ireland, and the ark of the covenant, which Flurry believes was buried there by Jeremiah and his daughters. The Edstone campus would give them convenient access to hop on a ferry to Ireland and start digging up Hill Tara when the time is right. 

In addition to this amazing prophetic activity, Edstone gives them the quickest access to Scotland when Flurry and Lil'Stevie go up there and demand that Scotland turn over the Stone of Scone to them. Scotland will willingly do this when they see that Flurry's church is David's true descendants and is preparing the way for some creature they call "christ" to come back and sit on it. This way Scotland doesn't need to fly it over to Edmond, Oklahoma where Herb's prayer rock is enshrined as a replacement. Once Scotland gives Flurry the Stone of Scone, he can then put it on his jet and fly it to Jerusalem where his "christ" will be coming to sit on it after first touring the mind-boggling CORRECT version of Biblical archeology at the Armstrong Institute of Biblical Archaeology.

While there Flurry spoke about Herbert working with the university in Jerusalem on archeology digs and the great COG myth that its members are being trained to be world rulers. Flurry also boasted that what they are doing in Jerusalem with their institute is far more IMPORTANT than what is happening in Ukraine today.

Talked about HWA’s “deal” with Jerusalem University; “getting rid of the Putins of this world”; and “we are getting ready to rule.” He said what they are doing in Jerusalem is “more important than what is going on in Ukraine.” 

Flurry then reminded his few tiny group of listeners in Edstone that Herbert Armstrong's co-worker letters were so spiritually important that they needed to read one of them over and over and mark it up. After all, Herb's letters are more important than the Bible, particularly that part so-called Christians call the New Testament.

He read a lot from an old HWA co-worker letter about Jerusalem that he said was a “classic” and that they need to get it, read it over, and mark it up. 
 
“God is going to use us and we are going to be tried and tested.” They have to “dig down to the original palace of David–the original Jerusalem.” (As if Christ will not be able to do what needs to be done when He reigns. It’s all up to PCG.) 

Flurry then waxed eloquently on how the world will soon be listening to him and the church, the elect, who will soon be joining up with Flurry's god so they can give the world's leaders and rebellious citizens a "taste of their own medicine".

The world won’t listen but “they will listen before this is all over with and God is going to let them [men like Putin] know what it’s like to be on the receiving end.” He even used the words, “give them a taste of their own medicine.” He believes that Putin will use a nuclear bomb “before this is all over with,” and “these men are beasts.” 

Flurry claims he and his work are the ones blowing the real shofar in Israel.

 “Our job is get that message out there.” “Who is blowing the shofar today? This is all about our work.” 

The writer of this letter, posted on Exit and Support Network, ended with this:

This sermon was his most boring, drawn-out one to date in spite of him getting his audience to laugh loudly several times. 
 
There was nothing in this sermon to help people know how to have a closer relationship with Christ. –PCG source March 19, 2022 

 


 

18 comments:

  1. And here I thought David Pack said stupid things.

    WHy is it that we have so many of these deranged men leading COG's today? Pack, FLurry, Weinland, Thiel. Can it get any crazier?

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  2. Our water pipe burst this past winter, but I'm not going to blame Satan because it was clearly the below 0 temperatures that was the cause.

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  3. The old dreaded delly belly, but this time in Israel.
    Yes I had that also in Israel. But not at the same restaurant, lol, couldn’t afford that. And didn’t have a ‘church expenses card’ to pay for wining and dining. Had the old dreaded delly belly in Egypt too. Jeez was I sick.Let her rip, and I did, from both ends.
    Come to think of it, I didn’t have a private Jet to luxuriate in, as I traveled.
    The joys of having ones ‘own’ paying church.
    But I had more fun than Gerry boy had in Israel.
    And my hangovers were of ‘biblical’ proportions.

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  4. I get the feeling reading this article that GFs attitudes are similar to that of the Catholic church. He views HWA as a defacto god, with Jerusalem having a special emotional appeal. His college is a type of the Vatican and he wants the Stone of Scone and the Ark of the covenant to give legitimacy to his church.
    This is all props. What about Christ and Christian values?

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  5. I hope the loud laughter of his audience was worth $78,000 of their tithe money! Sounds as if Satan pretty much thwarted any positive results the trip may have had by bursting the pipe and giving Flurry food poisoning. But, Flurry is totally unaccountable, so guess it really doesn't matter anyway.

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  6. Actually vomiting can be a sign of a heart attack. I wonder if Fllurry was having one. Food poisoning usually takes a while to become noticeable, not while still at the table.

    As a public service announcement, here are the signs of a heart attack...
    Chest discomfort or pain. This discomfort or pain can feel like a tight ache, pressure, fullness or squeezing in your chest lasting more than a few minutes. This discomfort may come and go.

    Upper body pain. Pain or discomfort may spread beyond your chest to your shoulders, arms, back, neck, teeth or jaw. You may have upper body pain with no chest discomfort.

    Stomach pain. Pain may extend downward into your abdominal area and may feel like heartburn.
    Shortness of breath. You may pant for breath or try to take in deep breaths. This often occurs before you develop chest discomfort, or you may not experience any chest discomfort.

    Anxiety. You may feel a sense of doom or feel as if you're having a panic attack for no apparent reason.

    Lightheadedness. In addition to feeling chest pressure, you may feel dizzy or feel like you might pass out.

    Sweating. You may suddenly break into a sweat with cold, clammy skin.

    Nausea and vomiting. You may feel sick to your stomach or vomit.

    Heart palpitations. You may feel as if your heart is skipping beats, or you may just be very aware that your heart is beating.

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  7. Wait a minute. Isn't The Shofar one of the many odd titles Gerald Flurry has claimed for himself? That casts a strange color on Flurry's question:

    Who is blowing The Shofar today?

    For years Flurry's HQ has been the subject of gay rumours. Maybe there's something to it after all.

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  8. Maybe Flurry can get him his own doctor on call 24/7 like HWA had. I wonder if while in the UK he went to Harrods and bought himself a dildo like HWA bought. Knowing Flurry he will go looking for HWA's old Rolls Royce to buy and bring back to Edmond.

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  9. Assuming that HWA were raised from the dead with healed eyes, would he even recognize Gerald Flurry if he saw him? Does anyone know if the two men ever had anything other than a brief, casual conversation while HWA was alive? HWA was always very critical of others. It is difficult to imagine any scenario in which HWA would be heaping praise on Gerald, because by all measurable standards, he has not come anywhere near preserving, or matching HWA's accomplishments or taking them to the next level.. He is a comical miniaturization of his idol, and like Rod Meredith, rubs the fur the wrong way.

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    Replies
    1. No, Anon 8:50, he wouldn't. Flurry's been relatively honest in the past that he would be a nobody to HWA.

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  10. GRF had to bring up HWA getting sick a lot of times, and so did he; and HWA almost dying, and so did he. It's copying HWA in everything. He's just a copycat. Well, not a surprise since he did copy Jules Dervaes' work and renamed it Malachi's Message. Hope he also copies them really dying, as in dead. That'll get rid of the PCG and wake some folks up.

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  11. Good points, Anon 8:50. And as for HWA's relationship with rank and file ministers, we all know Dave Pack was his bestie, because Dave said so.

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  12. “The only 'exciting part of the sermon' was when he told how there was 'something toxic' in the food he ate for breakfast at this fine restaurant he and his son went to and so he proceeded to tell how he was vomiting all over his suit and almost fainting and being shaky.”


    Nothing new about that. Gerald Flurry has been vomiting all over his hearers for decades.

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  13. This **** with his climate-destroying business jet is definitely the contemporary spearhead of Armstrong's dreadful neo-Millerite/Adventist doomsday cult.

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  14. So did Mr. Flurry almost die while he ate out on the Sabbath?

    If so, could that be the real message here?

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  15. He wouldn't have been eating deviled eggs by any chance?

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  16. If what he said is true, will he sue the restaurant?

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