Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web of Corrupt Leaders

Friday, April 1, 2022

Crackpot COG Prophet Gets Bent Out Of Shape Over April Fool's Day


 

Our favorite Chief Overseer of his African brethren and the modern-day embodiment of Elisha, Elijah, Amos and Andy, Johsua, and the most important and doubly blessed man the Church of God has ever been privileged to have in its midst, is back today getting his wholistic knickers into a homeopathic twist:

Today, it is April 1st on the Roman calendar.
Many people call the first day of April, “April Fools’ Day.” Notice something about it:

Today is April 1 — April Fool’s Day, if you will…in more recent times it’s chock full of good-natured pranks. But watch out; any scams or pranks can end up being costly. Case in point: Back in 2005, KBDS-FM radio conducted an April Fool’s giveaway for a Hummer, but used a play on words to actually give away an R/C model of a Hummer. The winner, Shannon Castillo, was not amused. She filed suit for $60,000, the cost of a new Hummer.
Beware of tax-related fraud and scams
Have you ever pranked a coworker?
Implausible, unexpected event occurred, will have terrible business impact on you

With that in mind, it’ a good idea to be hypercritical of anything you read online today. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505143_162-57577203/beware-hoaxes-can-be-costly/

Like any good COG prophet, the Great Bwana doesn't have to search far to find something to back up his nitpicking nuttiness.

Nasty unconverted people not only play innocent jokes on each other on April Fools Day, but they cause tax scams and other issues.

It's all lies brethren when someone plays an April Fools joke on you. All Lies! Woe is me! Oh, the humanity! Lies! Lies! Lies!

However, there is one glowing thing that is missing from Bwana Bob's whinefest list...

What about the lies of self-appointed COG prophets and false teachers in the church, of which he is one? Are not their lies even more damaging to people than some silly pranks? Destroying the spiritual and even physical life of members is far more damaging.

Never in the history of the Church of God have we had so many self-appointed men who are preaching the most idiotic things the church has ever heard. From Dave Pack's ongoing vomit stream of his creature, he calls "christ", that supposedly is returning every Friday and Saturday for the last several years to Gerald Flurry's supposed possession of the new coronation stone that his creature called "christ" is going to come back and sit his holy butt upon. From Bob Thiel's self-appointment and his endless diarrhea stream of prophetic bullshit that no one in Africa or the rest of the world gives a rats ass about, to Ronnie Weinland's failed return of his "christ" in 2008 and every year since.  The Church of God has in its midst the biggest bunch of FOOLS the church has ever seen!

Sadly people in all of these groups sit there and listen to these raving lunatics and their spiritual diarrhea week after week. Lives are being damaged spiritually and physically as members are losing their homes and businesses due to these guys stealing their money during their prophetic push to end God's work here on earth. Many have even lost their lives due to these FOOLS!

Bwana Bob Thiel is one of the Church of God's biggest liars and apparently has been playing April Fools jokes on us for over 10 years now. But like any good April Fools joke, we can laugh at him with the derision he deserves.

Happy April Fools Day Bwana Bob! Continue to keep us entertained!


 

24 comments:

  1. I was beginning to despair.
    I hadn’t heard from Bobby boy for a while and thought he had gone into hibernation.
    But, to my delight he is still around.
    To keep us informed and entertained.
    The jokes on you Bob.

    By the way, have you any insight into the Russia Ukraine crisis Bob?
    How’s it all going to end?
    Surely you know?
    But then again maybe you don’t.

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  2. This reminds me of a short story which was required reading while I was in school. It's a first-person experience written from the perspective of someone in a town at which a ghost makes an appearance every hundred years on a certain day. The atmosphere throughout the town is one of fear, as the narrative unfolds, and the preparations made by all of the citizens are chronicled. Whoever this ghost is, tales have been handed down from the local folklore that have everyone terrified. And as the story winds to a close, the individual telling the story discovers that he is the ghost, as everyone recognizes him and recoils in fear!

    In the spirit of all that, Bob Thiel, in case you just couldn't resist reading this latest entry here, it is you! You are the April Fool nasty prank or impractical joke. Hope you are wearing your joke strap today! Loof Lirpa! April Fool!

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  3. This reminds me of a short story which was required reading while I was in school. It's a first-person experience written from the perspective of someone in a town at which a ghost makes an appearance every hundred years on a certain day. The atmosphere throughout the town is one of fear, as the narrative unfolds, and the preparations made by all of the citizens are chronicled. Whoever this ghost is, tales have been handed down from the local folklore that have everyone terrified. And as the story winds to a close, the individual telling the story discovers that he is the ghost, as everyone recognizes him and recoils in fear!

    In the spirit of all that, Bob Thiel, in case you just couldn't resist reading this latest entry here, it is you! You are the April Fool nasty prank or impractical joke. Hope you are wearing your joke strap today! Loof Lirpa! April Fool!

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  4. Bob also thinks that now, after sunset April 1, is the first day of the year on "God's" calendar. How can that be when the feast of tabernacles is at the end of the year - Ex 23:16; Ex 34:22; Deut 31:10?

    Answer: the Hebrew - Ex 12:2 - indicates the month is to be the chiefest of months and the most important month of the year, not the first month of God's year. There's no "sacred" year beginning now.

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  5. Many of the modern ways of celebrating April Fools’ Day involve playing pranks on someone else, or trying to get them to believe ridiculous things. Of course in the process of getting someone to believe this outrageous story, a lie or many lies have to be told. We, as those that think vertically, know that telling a lie is something that we are not to do, (Exodus 20:16). When we tell a lie, not only are we breaking one of God’s commandments, but we are also discrediting ourselves. Proverb 26:28 tells us that “a lying tongue hates those it hurts.” Those who keep it may not intend to hurt another person with their April Fools’ joke, but often the victim is hurt emotionally or mentally, if not physically by the intended joke. In all that we do we should aim to be kind, encouraging, and uplifting to those that are our friends and neighbors. Not only do we hurt our friends through lying, but we hurt ourselves. Proverbs 12:19 tells us that lying causes our reputation to be discredited; we lose all honor and gain contempt and disgrace. We cannot be trusted. But if we speak the truth, our credibility is raised; our reputation for doing good things and being honest is established and will prevail. We can be trusted and with that trust, good things will come to us forever. The problem with the habitual liar is that he often gets caught in the conflicting accounts of his story.
    We must obey God's 9th commandment by not celebrating April fools day.

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  6. trying to get them to believe ridiculous things

    So, for one day a year, ordinary people get to experience what life is like in an ACOG.

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  7. BOB THIEL, FLURRY, PACK , COX, WEINLAND ARE PROPHETs, APOSTLES, and ENDTIME MESSENGERS !!!!!!



    Nah... April Fools!

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  8. Anon 7:53 The Cog is not as ridiculous as those who are using man-made traditions that are not in the Bible to worship God.

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  9. Well, 6:49, I'd rather be lied to and told that I had sat on a brownie and the seat of my pants looked like crap than to be told that Jesus was coming on specific dates and I had to give all my money to a church, beat my kids, and become a miserable pariah for the rest of my life!

    Does it count if you "obey God" because of lies that people told you?

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  10. I'm just waiting for a COGlodyte to pop up and tell us they dont use the common names of the days of the week. I've never met one who didnt, and I'm surprised that I haven't.

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  11. Stephen Gilbreath on the insanely bad COGTV does that all the time.

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  12. @ 9:53 AM, your god may accept worship derived from corrupted Canaanite fertility rites, but my Jesus asks instead to be worshipped in Spirit and in Truth.

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  13. Stephen is not that bad leave the guy alone! He is a nice man regardless of his beliefs.

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  14. Bob does provide far too much information about minor topics while ignoring "weightier matters". I may have blinked and missed it, but in his writings about Russia-Ukraine, he hasn't mentioned the plight of the people of Ukraine, only how it all fits into his prophetic vision.

    And I'll agree with Anon 6:49, pranks, "fooling" and false information can get out of hand. Sometimes (as in my case with my parents) "just joking" left me with years of wrong ideas and misinformation. And, as Orson Welles said at the end of his far-too-realistic War of the Worlds broadcast, "We didn't mean it".

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  15. It could well have been on April 1 that the god of Israel ordered Abraham to take his son up to an altar and sacrifice him. Before sending an angel to stop him, the god waited till the grieving father had bound the terrorized boy hand and foot, laid him on a pile of firewood, and taken out his knife to slit his throat. If I know fathers and sons. both of them broke down in uncontrollable sobs of relief as soon as they got the word. The angel, not having human emotions himself, no doubt failed to understand why they were crying. After all it was nothing but a prank, ha ha!

    About this kind of "prank" the commenter at April 2 at 6:49:00 AM has this to say:

    "When we tell a lie, not only are we breaking one of God’s commandments, but we are also discrediting ourselves. Proverb 26:28 tells us that “a lying tongue hates those it hurts.” Those who keep it may not intend to hurt another person with their April Fools’ joke, but often the victim is hurt emotionally or mentally, if not physically by the intended joke. In all that we do we should aim to be kind, encouraging, and uplifting to those that are our friends and neighbors. Not only do we hurt our friends through lying, but we hurt ourselves. Proverbs 12:19 tells us that lying causes our reputation to be discredited; we lose all honor and gain contempt and disgrace. We cannot be trusted."

    But if we do trust this god in spite of his behavior, we should follow his example. After all, actions speak louder than words. That means we play April Fools' jokes--and the crueler the better. Right?

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    1. Retired Prof
      Have you ever read the bible cover to cover? Angels not having human emotions? The demons Christ exorcised in the NT seemed to react emotionally. It also states that Satan is wrathful towards Christians, ie, an emotion.
      You also left out that Abraham knew that God would have to resurrect his son to fulfil certain promises made to him. So your Abraham 'breaking down' is speculation. And how do you know that Abraham was going to kill his son by slitting his throat? Most people would have assumed a strike to the heart.

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  16. Here is my experience with Stephen and my view of him : Stephen Gilbreath is an excellent minister who is obsessed with following and preaching the teachings of Mr. Herbert W. Armstrong founder of the Worldwide Church of God.
    Stephen Loyd Gilbreath is a 73-year-old minister who enjoys running is his Cogtv ministry and spending time with friends. He is bright and considerate, but can also be very helpful and a bit smart.
    He is an American Christian who defines himself as straight. He studied at the original ambassador college in Pasadena, CA. He is an American Christian who defines himself as straight.  He is a caucasian man.
    Physically, Stephen is in pretty good shape. He lives in Bessmer Alabama he also knew Mr. Armstrong and even went on a trip to Israel with him and Mr. Stephen L. Gilbreath he dated Mr. Stanley Rader's daughter. He also used to have lunch with Mr. David C. Pack back when they went to college together in the worldwide church of God he also even after WCG had a conversation over the phone with Arraon Dean they knew each from WCG Stephen also personally knows Garner Ted Armstrong and Mark Armstrong.
    Mr. Gilbreath explains how the great Mr. Armstrong taught that no one had ever been a member of the worldwide church of God unless at one time you were a member of its board of directors. So we are supposed to say we are members of the church of god, not the Armstrong movement. That is because it is God's church which is a spiritual organism which was unified at the worldwide church of god.

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  17. Anon 3:15 wrote: "Here is my experience with Stephen and my view of him : Stephen Gilbreath is an excellent minister who is obsessed with following and preaching the teachings of Mr. Herbert W. Armstrong founder of the Worldwide Church of God."

    The only thing accurate in your description of Gilbreath is that he is a nice person. Everything else is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever read! I knew the guy when he was in Pasadena. A perpetual bachelor who taught square dance classes and other stuff in order to find a mate. As for his attending Ambassador College, it was a few classes here and there.

    His program on COGTV is dumber than hell and poorly done. His obsession with Herbert Armstrong, sacred calendar, and other useless Armstrongite garbage is sad and pathetic.

    Promoting the lies of Armstrongism is not a good thing.

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    1. Interesting that our source had to mention he was straight twice.

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  18. Stephen is doing the best he can he is a poor man.

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  19. Interesting that our source had to mention he was straight twice.

    If Stephen was straight twice, what was he in between those two times?

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  20. Stephen Gilbreath hot for the truth? Hilarious! That’s like saying David Pack is hot for the truth. Pathetic!!!!!!!

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  21. April 2 at 6:46:00 PM, thanks for the response. Yeah, my speculation about the angel's grasp of human emotions was too broad. I should have narrowed it to the parent-child bond in the face of death, a fate the angel was not subject to. I assumed he would be less sensitive than one of us would be. Fact of the matter is, though, I have even less insight into an angel's thoughts than you have into those of Abraham. We're just blowing smoke out our asses. Nothing to be ashamed of--assuming we've got somebody else's motives all figured out. It's human. We do it all the time.

    On my guess about how Abraham was planning to execute his son, I am on firmer ground. The heart stab you mention can be pretty spectacular. One time I saw my father do that to a pig being held down on its back. The blade slipped in just above the sternum and angled down and back. It perforated the aorta, and the pressure of the next heartbeat sent a gushing red fountain two feet into the air.

    The reason I assumed Abraham would use a throat slit is, that's the Kosher way of doing it. A man slaying a human sacrifice would likely use the method he was familiar with. According to a Hasid I know, the butcher turns the animal's head away so it mercifully cannot see the blade coming. He makes a quick slice to sever the windpipe and esophagus, as well (usually) as the carotid arteries. I've never seen his maneuver performed, so I can't supply the appropriate imagery. You are free to imagine it for yourself.



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