Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web of Corrupt Leaders

Friday, May 13, 2022

God's Most Highly Favored COG Leader Wants You To Know All About HOPE!


 

It's another sunny day in California and temperatures are set to heat up in the central coast area this weekend. Our most highly favored COG leader, who was set apart at the foundations of the world to appear in these horrendous end times, is back today letting us all know that we need HOPE in our lives., and he is here to deliver it!

Mind you this is coming from the most miserable COG leader who spends countless hours in a day trying to find everything he can that is bad in the world. Droughts, fires, floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, terrorism, you name it and Bob Thiel goes into orgasmic fits of delight at finding PROOF of his prophetic backtracking.

The greatest doubly blessed self-appointed prophet in the history of Christianity has delivered his message of hope today.

He writes:

Christians are supposed to have hope. The NKJV has the word “hope” 68 times in the New Testament. The Apostle Paul mentioned hope 6 times in the following:

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 19 For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; 21 because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. 23 Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. 24 For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. (Romans 8:18-25)

He then quotes Andrew Solomon (a prolific author and activist for LGBT rights) from a POCKET article:

Look for meaning in the most challenging moments. 

For some, pessimism is not a passing inclination but a near-constant outlook shaped by difficult, maybe brutal times. Even negative events can end up having positive effects, according to writer Andrew Solomon
 
“Avoidance and endurance can be the entryway to forging meaning,” he says. Solomon transformed a childhood marked by bullying and emotional torment into a life of helping others communicate their own stories of growth.

Have you ever seen Bob Thiel or any COG leader ever look at negative events or even horrific events and find meaning and hope? 

All these little miserable cretins do is look backward in their big thick Bibles that they love to wave in the air and mark up in its wide margins to find something to fit their imagined end-times scenarios. Everything in the world is miserable and Satan is on the warpath. 

Ho-hum. Been there, done that, heard it over and over and over and over.

Never fear though, Bob Thiel has a way to find joy and hope in your life every day:


‘How to Change Your Life in 5 Seconds’ 

Inc. magazine posted an article online titled ‘How to Change Your Life in 5 Seconds.’ In it, Mel Robbins explains how she developed a technique to be more productive. She observed that 95% of decision are based on emotion instead of logic, and how and why adding a five second countdown helped her life. She mentions that fear, anger, and other factors often interfere with our ability to be better people. In this video, Dr. Thiel quotes a lot from that article, including some of the science behind the technique. He also quotes Jesus as well as many passages from the Bible. He also teaches a 5 second statement to say and pray to use as a five second spiritual statement to help Christians change.

I can trump that "5-Seconds" idea with an even better one...IGNORE Bob Thiel and ALL COG leaders and your life will improve drastically! 

If Bob Thiel, the greatest prophet the church has ever seen, was filled with hope and sincerely wanted to help his followers, 98% of whom live in poverty-stricken Africa and constantly have to live with 3rd world problems,  and who don't give a rats ass about issues in the United States or any of the other British Israelite countries Thiel consistently rags on about, they would not be wasting their lives with such hopeless articles as these on a daily basis. Jesus is never presented as an alternative. Only gloom, doom, and death is the godly way.

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22 comments:

  1. That ridiculously long list of disjointed bullet points is the literal definition of spiritual confusion and not from God.

    All I can ever think of when I see our favorite little "prophlet" is Scooby doo's annoying, yipping, ankle biting cousin Scrappy doo.

    Now, if only he could get his sermons down to 5 seconds!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Christianity began less than 100 years after the murder of Julius Caesar and the end of the Roman Republic.

    The new Empire was violent, chaotic, and corrupt. Many of Rome's citizens and subjects suffered terribly. Imagine the list of bullet points you could put together in 65AD or 75AD to illustrate the world's problems and the dire need for the hope of Christ's return.

    Yet, the Bible gives us no such list of problems. In fact, Jesus told his former-Zealot followers to take their attention OFF those problems and focus on His gospel message.

    Bob, there is still hope for you! Repent of your vanity and admit that Herbert Armstrong deceived you. You could be a powerful witness for the plain truth of genuine Christianity. Not a prophet. Just a Christian. Filled with Christ's peace, not with the frantic energy of a man trying to prove his worthiness. Yes, Bob, REPENT while there is still time!

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  3. get his sermons down to 5 seconds!

    The late great jolly joker John Halford (before he became a Tkatch crony) made a "5 second sermon" at a FOT. "Does God heal today?" "Yes!" and he walked off the stage.
    Too bad he came back and was par for the course with a "real" sermon on healing, of which I remember nothing.

    In the local library, the latest Trumpet caught my attention with "Prophecy comes alive in Ukraine" - perhaps that was their attempt to give hope to a seemingly hopeless situation.
    It appears to me that when Bob can tie a disastrous event to something he wrote, the joy of "being right" appears to obscure the pain propagated by the "predicted" plight.

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  4. Hoss,
    ‘Prophecy comes alive in Ukraine’ reminds me of the time Raymond McNair tried to explain the Gulf War (first one) through the ‘lenses’ of biblical prophecy and BI.
    It was a painful listen and I remember struggling with the scriptures he brought up, to try to tie them to what was occurring in Iraq.
    There was no ‘link’ I would see but I kept my silence and that probably saved myself lots of trouble,lol.
    Armstrongism is transfixed on Russia as they are with BI.
    That BI is a flawed theology is in no doubt but also the old Russia is ‘Rosh Meshech Gog’ is standing on the very flimsiest of arguments and reason these days and needs to be readdressed. I put it in the BI category as pure ‘bullsh*t’ lol.

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  5. "Bob, there is still hope..You could be..Just a Christian. Filled with Christ's peace, not with the frantic energy of a man trying to prove his worthiness"

    If it wasn't for his Obsessive-Compulsive-Hyperactivity-Disorder..

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anon 342

    Yes, and GF's fixation with Putin is like Bob's with Guttenberg... and Bob insists PCG is wrong about Putin.

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  7. I have finally come to a conclusion, that you don't like any opium other than your own. I know this site is for nothing but bashing cogs and a lot of them should be. But defending the catholic church and the pope seems to have revealed your true connections.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where in this post do you see this defending of Catholicism and the Pope?

      Delete
  8. No2HWA wrote, "I can trump that "5-Seconds" idea with an even better one...IGNORE Bob Thiel and ALL COG leaders and your life will improve drastically! "

    MY COMMENT - No need for the Doctorate from a degree mill, Bobby Thiel, or even Cartoon animated Bob if this verse of Biblical hope is applied in our lives:

    2 Timothy 1:7
    New King James Version
    7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

    Richard

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous 3:42 wrote, "It was a painful listen and I remember struggling with the scriptures he brought up, to try to tie them to what was occurring in Iraq."

    Prophecy is a denied conundrum among Armstrongists. They have a problem, and their solution seems to be to ignore that it is a problem and believe it, nevertheless.

    Here are two hermeneutical propositions that are at the core of the Armstrongist interpretation of geopolitical, predictive prophecy:

    1. British Israelism is true.
    2. Herman Hoeh accurately identified the nations of this world through a mapping of the "Table of Nations" onto mankind.

    Both of these propositions are demonstrably false. Any genuine prophet in the Christian church would reject the ideas above. In fact, such a rejection should be a criterion for being recognized as a true Christian prophet - one who brings the message of God. Could any such divine messaging co-reside with the malarkey above? I think not. Only by overturning the science of genetics could Armstrongism restore validity to these hermeneutical principles. That simply will never happen (my own "prophecy").

    I know of no prophets in the Christian movement. These would be Christians who have a prophetic commission in the spirit of Agabus. Paul was impressed by such people, and I would be, too, if there were any and they were fulfilling a legitimate need. But there are some who come in the spirit of Montanus. And the author of John 1 said, "Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world."

    ******** Click on my icon for Disclaimer

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  10. Anon 526 - I'm not "Hooray for everything" that appears on this blog either, and, even with some purging of the really loony comments, it is a very open blog. That's the price you pay for freedom of expression...

    ReplyDelete

  11. Here are two hermeneutical propositions that are at the core of the Armstrongist interpretation of geopolitical, predictive prophecy:

    1. British Israelism is true.
    2. Herman Hoeh accurately identified the nations of this world through a mapping of the "Table of Nations" onto mankind.


    3. Western history and media are reliable.

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  12. Jesus was a prophecy fanatic who inspired the book of Revelation.

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  13. Jeez, 5:26! CBD is legal, helps me with arthritis, and improves cognitive function, but opium? If, as your comment implies, you are growing and using your own opium, it it no wonder that you can't see that the Catholic Church does much good in its members' lives. Like the COGs, there is also some badness which needs to be criticized and corrected, but the RCC is not the Beast, False Prophet, or Whore of Babylon that Armstrongism made it out to be.

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  14. Prophecy is sooo easy right now, but Thiel, Pack, Flurry, and the other ACOGs are missing it because they're watching Germany and the Catholic Church instead of what's actually happening all around us. We're about 6-8 months away from Civil War II because the radical butt-holes have taken over both parties, and are out to destroy each other. The western USA is drying up, and soon we'll be asking the people who wouldn't wear masks or take their vaccine to limit their water consumption. They won't do it because Republicans don't believe in climate change and think that our drying reservoirs are just bad luck with the weather. Riots will intensify as pro-choicers take to the streets. The Ukraine situation will soon be causing international food shortages and hoarding, plus worsening gasoline prices and shortages. If we make it to 2024, Watch for the vengeful return of Donald Trump to finish the job Putin originally put him in power to do.

    Alternative (to Armstrongite) apocalyptic Christian teachers have observed that in the Bible, the USA appears to be gone from the scene by the time that the end times prophecies begin to unfold. But, if you are an Armstrongite and believe in HWA's prophecy mold, take comfort and ignore all this stuff. Kind of hard to ignore it if you must endure a David Pack 3 hour prophecy sermon each week, or watch Bob Thiel flail his hands. Carpe Diem!

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  15. Anon 3:13:00 PM PDT

    'Alternative (to Armstrongite) apocalyptic Christian teachers have observed that in the Bible, the USA appears to be gone from the scene by the time that the end times prophecies begin to unfold'.
    Yes you are correct in this observation. That however is not an indorsement for BI.
    The possibility is very real that they have misunderstood scripture as much as Armstrongism has.A great nation as the USA does not just disappear.
    Perhaps the USA is very clearly mentioned in scripture. But politics, emotion and plain misunderstanding have hid the USAs identity which is in slight for all to see if they just open their eyes openly and honestly, untainted by the commonly held views of christianity.
    It is becoming self evidence to some bibilical scholars that Rosh Meshech Gog are not as commonly understood to be Russia or her allies,few as they are. Dr Edwin Yamauchi, Professor Daniel Block , www.thecometsofgod.com are interesting sources which shine a little light into this area.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Saturday, May 14, 2022 at 3:13:00 PM PDT said, "Watch for the vengeful return of Donald Trump to finish the job Putin originally put him in power to do"..... But, if you are an Armstrongite and believe in HWA's prophecy mold, take comfort and ignore all this stuff. Kind of hard to ignore it if you must endure a David Pack 3 hour prophecy sermon each week, or watch Bob Thiel flail his hands".

    MY COMMENT - Oh, I didn't realize Putin believes in the policies of America First including peace through strength, secure borders, low taxes and energy independence. How does that benefit Putin? Or perhaps you haven't been following Special Counsel Durham's investigation into the origin of the Trump Russian collusion hoax and the indicts he has obtained.

    In reference to your last comment, didn't you mean to say "Kind of EASY to ignore it if you must endure a David Pack 3 hour prophecy sermon each week, or watch Bob Thiel flail his hands?"

    By the way, the Worldwide Church of God under Herbert Armstrong ALSO taught that the USA appears to be gone from the scene by the time that the end times prophecies begin to unfold. In fact, according to the Church, the Great Tribulation was to begin with German bombs dropping on America in 1972, and that America would gone from the scene for the remainder of the 3 1/2 years of Tribulation.

    Richard

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  17. Anonymous 5:11 wrote, 'But politics, emotion and plain misunderstanding have hid the USAs identity which is in slight (sic) for all to see..."

    The USA cannot be "gone from the scene" because it was never there in the first place. The Bible is about the Jews. It is not about Gentile Europeans living in the USA. Gentile empires come and go and most of them get no mention in the pages of the Bible - for example, the British and Spanish Empires.

    And the identity of the USA is not hidden. That is just Armstrongist fantasy. It's a dodge to cover for the fact that there is no credible data to indicate that the people of Britain are Israel, therefore, they must be "hidden." The New World was colonized by people who are genetically known as Atlantics. This is because they come from the Atlantic littoral of Europe. The colonizers are a group of genetically related peoples that principally include the British, Irish, Scots, Spanish, Portuguese and Basque. These are the people who colonized North, Central and South America. They are all a subset of haplogroup R1b. This haplogroup is hard-coded in their genomes and cannot be the subject of John Harden Allen kind of a conspiracy. Jews are an entirely different people and stem principally from haplogroup J.

    BI is passé. I would be surprised if anybody much in splinterdom even believes in it anymore. Maybe some of the older generation.

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  18. BI is passé. I would be surprised if anybody much in splinterdom even believes in it anymore. Maybe some of the older generation.

    Increasing numbers of ACOG die-hards will now say that the prophetic identifications of Ephraim, Manasseh, Assyria, etc. are as valid as ever, but will concede that these identifications must be seen as symbolic or typological, and don't need to have anything to do with biology or haplogroups or genetics in general. Remember that WCG used Genesis 49:20 to identify Belgium as Asher because of Belgian chocolates, a pathetically weak identification having nothing to do with biology or genetics. Anyone who would accept WCG's identification of Belgium as Asher should have no problem accepting a non-DNA explanation of Ephraim, Manasseh, and Assyria.

    All but a few nutcases recognize that, for Christian living, BI is superseded by the fact that all Christians are "spiritual Israel." But as for how far that extends into intimate matters such as interracial marriage, remember that Christians have justified their racism with and without BI for centuries.

    I disagree that ACOG belief in BI has diminished. It has merely changed its form. If you get rid of BI, the rest of Armstrongism quickly crumbles (not just the prophecy and theology, but more importantly HWA's inspiration and his role in restoring lost truth), and you might as well go back to the CG7 from which HWA departed.

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  19. Speaking of typology, it seems that the lessons we've learned from all of the Armstrongite faulty thinking which was part of our programming have placed us in an excellent position to understand how partisans hold on to their beliefs, even after they have failed fact checking over and over and over again.

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  20. NeoDromos 7:03:00 AM PDT

    ‘The Bible is about the Jews.It is not about Gentile Europeans living in the USA’.
    Quite so. I would add it’s a book about the Jews given to all humanity as well.
    For the message of scripture is to lead us to our salvation in Jesus Christ, and that message is one for the gentiles also.

    But that still does not answer the ‘who is Rosh Meshech and Gog’ of scripture. This enormous power that is an adversary to Israel some time in the future.
    Armstrongisms fixture on Russia I don’t doubt will come to nothing as Armstrongisms BI has being found wanting and untenable.
    The Gospel and it’s hope for all, is sadly secondary to prophecy in their sight.

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  21. Anonymous May 15 at 10:03 declares: "If you get rid of BI, the rest of Armstrongism quickly crumbles. . . ."

    For at least some of the faithful it does not. After leaving Ambassador College I was defending my decision in an argument with a student who was earnestly warning me that rejecting The Truth after learning about it meant I was bound for the Lake of Fire. I mentioned that the idea of BI was so ridiculous it prevented serious consideration of the entire Radio Church of God theology. He agreed that BI was pretty doubtful, but maintained it didn't really matter. The part about condemnation of unbelievers and salvation of the faithful was still true.

    So maybe I am destined for the Lake of Fire. Since the agony of my final and irrevocable destruction is said to last only a brief moment, I consider it a small price to pay for the years of freedom from Armstrongism I have enjoyed since boarding that Greyhound bus out of Pasadena in the spring of 1960.

    ReplyDelete