Since the implosion of the church in the late 1990's and the rapidly shrinking Feast sites with more and more members not attending, many COG's have resorted to opening night videos to encourage the brethren. Most opening night services have historically tended to be a waste of time as members were tired from driving long distances and just wanted to relax. Instead, they were conned into coming to the opening night service where Feastival coordinators or someone further down the ministerial food chain spoke because only the most really IMPORTANT ministers spoke on the first and last days.
Imagine driving a long distance and finding out there may only be 25 -50 people in attendance and you have to listen to the Great Bwana with hands flailing about as he bounces and flounces in his chair for 35 minutes! Ghastly days, Loma! What a nightmare! In the end, you will wonder why you wasted 35 minutes of your life listening to such a pile of useless information.
The Great Bwana, the Beto of Africa, the most important minister in the Church of God since Jesus himself walked the green hills of this earth believes that you need to hear his admonitions. Never have we been blessed to have a such spiritually grounded man in our midst as we do in Beto Bob! Gerald Flurry and Dave Pack tremble at his feet in rank embarrassment.
Ever since he was almost arrested and then publicly humiliated by Rod Meredith before getting kicked out of the church, the Great Beto has been on a quest to prove the legitimacy and authority he assumes to weld as the end-time man of God. Beto uses that authority to stick his nose into the lives of his few followers by telling them how they should act at the Feast. Beto makes sure to get in as one of his first points that people give him their tithe of the tithe (a made-up command by the mother church).
Some of his very important topics for his few members are:
- scriptural commands (of which there are none for New Covenant Christians)
- how JC kept the feast (he did since he was a Jew)
- festival tithe
- daily attendance requirements
- how they should eat
- how they should drink
- how they should rejoice
- how they should exhort others
- the jobs of members and resurrected COG members as teachers in the millennium
- Most of all, you are to build character at the Feast by forcing yourself to sit there and listen to his mind-numbing sermons.
Almost arrested Beto writes:
This message is for the opening night of the Feast of Tabernacles for 2022 by the Continuing Church of God (CCOG). It discusses aspects of God’s plan, including peace that will ensue after Satan is bound. Dr. Thiel discusses scriptural command’s, Jesus’ observance, festival tithe, daily attendance, eating, alcohol, rejoicing, exhorting others, the role of resurrected Christians teaching others in the millennium, historic Christian understanding of the Feast of Tabernacles, enduring to the end, and the abundance in the coming Kingdom of God. Dr. Thiel mentions that the CCOG has festival sites in North America, Latin America, Africa, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, the Caribbean, and the Philippines. He also mentions that the CCOG has literature in 160 languages to reach Gentiles as well as those of Israelite heritage. Dr. Thiel encourages people to have a peaceful festival where they rejoice, gain knowledge, and help build character.
All of this drivel means absolutely NOTHING to his members in Africa. Unable to relate to his African followers he has to pass on first-world issues the church has preached on for decades, believing members were too stupid to know how to act.
You can witness the magic here:
Crap! I watched the first 5 minutes and that's 5 minutes of my life I'll never get back!
ReplyDeleteThose curtains......those hands.........
ReplyDeleteIt would interesting to see the numbers attending at the various 'Feast' sites 'worldwide' (pun intended).
I doubt we will find out real the numbers due to the highly secretive nature of so many of the Armstrong churches.
And quite possibly the shear embarrassment to many of these groups if the actual numbers became public.
'The Work' is no where what it was and the decline is increasing with the passing of each year.
Read a few of these blogs about him but never actually clicked on the button to see what he looks like, sounds like and acts like. You're right! The hand motions are most bizarre, couldn't even watch 5 minutes probably about two is more like it. Oh well now I know. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteWhat's this balderdash about moving his HQ later on? Apparently, his Five Cities world headquarters is only temporary. What a hoot! As if Christ is going to use Bob and his church as some kind of example in the millennium. What foolishness! Bob's HQ will NOT be in Jerusalem. It is an absolute fact that that will never happen.
ReplyDeleteAll of these narcissistic mental midgets continue to follow HWA's basic blueprints. Bob Thiel somehow always ends up executing them more arrogantly, and in a less sophisticated manner. I'm going to coin a new expression for his most prominent defect in expressing himself. He seems to have "hand-aphasia". I had considered "hand Tourette Syndrome", but the disorder runs much deeper than Tourette's.
ReplyDeleteThe teachers of Armstrongism are plagued with these disorders. Temporal Lobe Epilepsy is definitely a thing in splinterdom.
Another HWA disaster calling Sukkot “tabernacles”…..look up the term tabernaculum, which was the building the augars dwelt in while making their magical predictions for the Roman generals that lived right besides them and would not go into battle until consulting the pagan augars. The term augars is where we today get our word inauguration from….completely pagan and Roman.
ReplyDeleteI think thats an auguraculum?
DeleteNo, I found it. Tabernaculm augurale or something like that. I wonder what the word is in non-Roman languages now.
DeleteMaybe Bobby’s rubber room will have nice shower curtains in it after he’s detained for suffering from the Jerusalem Syndrome..if their ever was a candidate for it it’s Bobby.
ReplyDeleteThis has to be the most pathetic thing I have ever seen! How can anyone truly sit there and watch this and think it is from God?
ReplyDeleteThat used to be a very legitimate question, 1:27. Unfortunately, mass deception now exists on a vastly expanded scale, Unfortunately for the ACOGs, they are not included as beneficiaries. As it applies to Bob Thiel, a very very few, a statistically negligible percentage of the people are attracted to him or his teachings.
ReplyDeleteHeh, near me, LCG and UCG are meeting in adjacent towns (and I do mean adjacent). There will probably be bitching from LCG about crosspollination.
ReplyDeleteIn the unlikely event that any of Bob's African members see this video, as they haven't been put through Spokesman/Ambassador Club and learned the emphasis on appropriate hand gestures, will they just assume Bob is trying to swat away flies with his overactive hands?
ReplyDeleteI always wondered what happened to Mr. Magoo!
ReplyDelete7:01 Just because the English word “tabernacles” might derive from Latin and have had a different meaning or association in the Latin or be considered pagan to you personally because of this doesn’t mean it had the same meaning to 16th and 17th century English translators when they used it in their bible translations.
ReplyDeleteLike others have said...I couldn't get through 2 minutes of this clown's drivel and arm waving...
ReplyDeleteThis has to be the most pathetic thing I have ever seen!
ReplyDeleteThe Spanish version was probably better - working from a translated script. There would be the added amusement of the words out of synch with the video.
An office in Jerusalem? I remember when HWA had an office in Jerusalem, Jordan, in 1967. And he booked time on Radio Jerusalem, Jordan.
Bob first needs to prepare more people to spread his message - when will he open an unaccredited college in the Five Cities?
Bob, our favorite little false prophlet and littlest flower girl, should really thank me. A few years back, when I discovered our flower girl, I used to put his videos on during cocktail/dinner parties as entertainment. There were people spitting out their drinks and canapes left and right. We even did a version of charades, flapping, flouncing Bob style. I cannot tell you the hours and hours of stomach hurting laughter that ensued. I have no doubt that I am responsible for at least 25-30 more views per video just from my parties. Our all time favorite one that we played over and over again was one where he literally put his tiny little hands into fists to object to LCG not changing their literature according to his flawless biblical interpretations. He looked like a 3 year old having a tantrum. I bet he even tried to stomp his feet on the floor too, but he couldn't reach it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs, false prophlet Bob!!
Ghastly! :) What the heck was all that hand and arm movement in the first 45 seconds of this video?
ReplyDeleteWas almost arrested for Sabbath Keeping, doubly blessed Bobby Thiel giving this sermon in duo - English and sign language or some sort of secret hand signals? At one point, I thought I saw Bobby Thiel do "the tomahawk chop".
Pathetic! Very pathetic!! DW is right. This is laughable.
Richard
Like HWA, Bob is another tragic figure in Millerite/COG history. While Bob shares HWA's persistence, presumptuousness and arrogance, he sadly lacks his strong, charismatic presentation skills.
ReplyDeleteI think Unknown 6:23 and Zippo are right, you can learn the waving hand gesture technique at "clown college".
Bob follows Banned! But he doesn't "like" it...
ReplyDeleteIn Bob's first FOT sermon, he formally introduces himself to his audience, and then comments about reading an article on his Worst sermon. Obviously he is referring to this one.
I only listened to a few minutes, and it appears that some comments in this article may have set the theme for his sermon...
Although Armstrongism is flawed, and they are far from "obeying all God's laws" as they claim they do, no one can, nor even try to show why they are wrong in keeping the Sabbath, Holy Days, and other "eternal" commands.
ReplyDeleteWhile investigative work at this and other blogs has been exemplary (although with trolls and ignorant cracks) we are yet to see where God "canceled" his "Old" Covenant commands. Protestant Replacement Theology that is employed here can only scratch at "hints" that laws have changed. If indeed Mark 7 and Acts 10 "cancel" the dietary laws (which they don't) why isn't there as much as one sentence saying "you don't need to follow these laws any more"? Sure, as Peter said, Paul's words can be twisted to mean what people want it to mean.
I'm not saying Bob is right or wrong, but he, despite his many faults, foibles, and flawed understanding, appears to be pointed toward the right direction.
You publicly bully Theil because he's a soft target. But I'm sure you're really venting against other COG opening night sermons you haven't the guts to stand against.
ReplyDeleteFind us another one on the interwebz and Im sure we'll have something to say about it too.
DeleteBob Thiel is a fraud and has always been a fraud. God no more appointed him than he did Dave Pack to the RCG. Even Rod Meredith understood Bob had grandiose ideas and false beliefs. That's part of the reason Meredith kicked him out of LCG.
ReplyDeleteZxc @11:0500 PM PDT
ReplyDeleteAnyone individual like Thiel, who stands on a pedestal like he does and makes the claims he does, should expect brickbats thrown his way.
Soft target be dammed.
To claim he is ‘doubly blessed’ to give credibility to his ‘ministry’ and his theology when it is patently flawed as this blog has shown, by publishing many well researched posts that have exposed him for what he is, is well deserved.
All of Armstrongism is a target. Their documented abuse, which is ongoing to this day, marks them out.
When they make proclamations and statements that are erroneous and misleading they must be called out for it.
To the serious Bible student’s out there, this blog is a seriously good source of information exposing the dark side of this movement.
Arrrggghhhh! Those curtains! I'm thinking Dave has better ones in the horsebarn! Come to think of it, maybe God is getting so sick of Dave's false prophecies that he'll raise up Mr. Ed to get the job done! There is a precedent, after all, with Baalam's Mule! Gotta be a lesson in there somewhere, right?
ReplyDeleteListening to this is like playing the game 'Snakes and Ladders' > he keeps jumping all over the place and keeps saying the same thing, only in different words. There is no structure to his sermon(s) and thus those that are listening to him will go out of their minds trying to connect logical points to his purpose.
ReplyDeleteHow this guy ever got through Spokesman's Club is beyond me.