I don't think I have ever quite given a sermon like this...No, I never have...
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"I want to make a statement about...me...now,
I have indeed become deceived; I really need to share with you and tell you what I'm going to tell you now...
I am confessing that I have indeed gone off into strange ideas, misconduct, rebellion, you name it, and while I asked you to follow me, please don't. I am deeply sorry for the confusion and bad theology, strange and crazy ideas and mistaken notions about myself I have heaped upon us all lo these past years.
I want to tell you that now, because I did all that and have made every effort to get you all to follow me. Indeed, I did come to you and tell you it doesn't apply, it doesn't mean me, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's OK to follow me because ABCD and XY and Z. Do you understand what I'm saying? I am deeply sorry for doing exactly what I promised you all I would never do. I tend to do that. I recognize it and I need and want you all to forgive me.
Listen to me now, please when I tell you don't follow me because, admittedly, I did go off into weird ideas and badly parsed scriptural fairytales. I did get off into other things that are total and absolutely unscriptural conduct, and I did paint it with a different face and try to get you to follow me. Do you understand what I'm saying brethren? I am deeply sorry for all this mess I have created and pain in the lives of all of you and those good folk who have left us.
Please remember that, because I promise you that I see my mistakes and self-absorbed folly. I did become deceived, I did, of course, want you all forget it and not notice. Marc, Dennis and many others of you did remember it well enough to quote it right back to me... and I thank them and am deeply sorry. If you need me to step down and go somewhere else, I will.
Goodnight..."
David C Pack
Probably Never and Only in Everyone's Dreams
It might be realistic if you add one line at the end.
ReplyDelete"...so please forgive me, and don't follow me. But I own all the assets, so I'll be cashing out and living comfortably off of your gullibility for the rest of my life. As for you, tough cookies. Goodbye!"
Dream on :-(
ReplyDeleteHis speech more smooth than butter was, but in his heart was war, more soft than oil his words appear but sharp as drawn swords were they...
ReplyDeleteMany cogs remember the rest of hymn #45, based on psalm 55:21.
Lord thou will in judgment sit and bring them down to woe, and in the deep and darksome pit in ruin lay them low!
Lol but sad. You had me going in the beginning as I was saying to myself, "No Way!" Great story though.
ReplyDeleteAdvice to RCG members: If you really need a hobby this badly, Rastafarianism would be much more fulfilling. Or if you want to maintain the whole gloom and doom thingie, you could go Goth. Each also brings with it a much greater coolness factor than following the skipping record messages of Dave Pack.
ReplyDeleteA long long time ago in a world that doesn't exist anymore, when you last preached Dennis.
ReplyDelete10:50 If you were trying to take a dig at Dennis you failed superbly! What a fool!
ReplyDelete"A long long time ago in a world that doesn't exist anymore, when you last preached Dennis."
If Dave had the man balls to do this he probably could draw in scores of new members from other COG's
ReplyDelete“I don't think I have ever quite given a sermon like this...No, I never have... “
ReplyDeleteDave's noise all sounds the same.
"Pack of Lies" was a Jeopardy! category this evening, but nothing about Dave...
ReplyDelete