Exposing the underbelly of Armstrongism in all of its wacky glory! Nothing you read here is made up. What you read here is the up to date face of Herbert W Armstrong's legacy. It's the gritty and dirty behind the scenes look at Armstrongism as you have never seen it before!
With all the new crazy self-appointed Chief Overseers, Apostles, Prophets, Pharisees, legalists, and outright liars leading various Churches of God today, it is important to hold these agents of deception accountable.
Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web of Corrupt Leaders
Moreover, wouldn't an entire congregation or church using green envelopes constitute a grove? And we all know that God said: "Thou shalt not plant thee a grove (Asherah - for IDOL worship) of any trees near unto the altar of the Lord thy God, which thou shalt make thee." (Deuteronomy 16:21)
I have put tithes in white envelopes with red marking on it, white envelopes with black marking on it, yellow envelopes, pink envelopes, blue envelopes, green envelopes. God created color so I feel good about it.
I thought I was reading something from the Onion. Then I realized that LCG does not have the visibility for their doings to be a hit on the Onion, or any other vehicle of mass public satire.
I don't believe this is satire. Aren't these guys some of the ones who still only recognize white dress shirts as the only proper mens' fashion for sabbath services?
Since the average person connects Satan as dark or black like at Halloween, if I saw an envelope was black or had an "X" on it reminding me of being double crossed or X-rated, I would think Hmm, that's different. Since God made the color green and green trees and green grass, I would have positive thoughts about a green colored envelope because those kind of details are very important in my life.
Why didn't I think of this topic when writing a paper in grade school? It would have been so different than anything any teacher had read for a chosen topic. Maybe it would have shocked him or her, and I would have gotten an A just because no one else in the world would think of it as important and want to learn more about it?
Some of you need to stop taking yourself, so seriously and relax. Your reactions here say more about you than it does anything about the person who submitted this.
Want to know why an ACOG leader would object to green envelopes? These green envelopes could be indicative of a subtle acquiescence to the liberal agenda known as the "Green New Deal". Can you imagine? Armstrongite ministers are generally paranoid about subliminal suggestion. Why they just might even worry that members would begin to think that it was alright to send some of "God's tithes" to Greenpeace to help clean up the oceans!
I'm surprised that Flurry doesn't mandate that all his money envelopes be green! I mean, considering his two loves (HWA and the Irish!)
By the way, for those of you who don't know, in the aftermath of Covid, we've had horribly persistent supply chain issues affecting paper used in the printing industry. Much of it has been resolved, but last I heard colored paper is still very difficult to obtain. There has especially been an envelope shortage. Most printers purchase their paper in bulk, at discounted pricing, from major suppliers, such as Spicer. Because of the shortages, some have had to resort to buying at full retail from from Staples, Office Depot, and even Costco. It's entirely possible that these green envelopes, normally unsellable, have been setting on shelves for years, and were the only ones available in the Charlotte area. And then some know-nothing asshat overreacted and wrote up a biblical treatise on the topic. Of course, we could also be looking at somebody's AI-generated "deep fake".
Aw, thanks, 9:32! I only visit this site for the edifying correction I receive occasionally from deeply converted persons like yourself! Hear that sound? Another angel just got his wings!
I think Dave and Bob should be the color of puke green by now. Both have lost many members, a lot of $ and all respectability (^_^), such as it was.
I wonder if Bob turned green last year when in Ireland, visiting his relatives..the leprechauns, giving his butt numbing "sermon" standing next to the same sized Lia Fil stone, with his big, fat Bible being thrust in the face of his 5 viewers? Maybe that was what got his witches/Satanist members knickers in a twist and caused them to curse him? Should have kissed the Blarney Stone while you had a chance, Bob! Could have warded off the intense bad luck you have endured this year!
The Green Man is a popular name for pubs in England where people are green with envy over the green ears of barley or is it the green green grass of home or is it little green apples. Oh well my favorite is I walk alone by Green Day. Here's to green eggs and ham and green beer in front of me instead of a prefrontal lobotomy! Hoorah for all things green.
Laughter is good medicine so if someone needs healing from a disease, let them read this ridiculous religious spirit topic and the hilarious responses. I am sure it will be a turn around.
This has been hilarious today reading the responses here. This is obviously satire. It's satire so well done that it dupped a lot of people. The sad part is that this has revealed that Armstrongism is filled with people who would actually believe this. The best part is watching people like 11:12 get all butthurt when it is pointed out to them that it is satire.
Green envelopes are an Illuminati/Rothschild conspiracy to lead people's way from the true Church of God! Once they fire up the CERN Accelerator and open the portal for Satan to enter Europe it will be too late for the deceived who will have wished they had never opened those green envelopes!.
This whole topic of being fussy over coloured envelopes is a complete farce to what goes on behind the scenes of counting the actual money. I know for a fact it's not beyond COGs to use diaper bags (unused) for putting the money in for delivery to the banks.
When pagans get cold they build a fire, so I suppose any house with a fireplace encourages the righteous to partake in pagan activities, such as building a fire. Or, maybe we should refer to fireplaces as altars to Molech?
No, these green envelopes are soylent green! They are made out of the remains of homeless people who disappeared and have been executed and processed. Be very suspicious of any new products which are green, such as new and improved animal feeds, powerplant fuels, and alternative fuels for diesel-burning engines. It's all based on research which came from Nazi Germany pioneered by the Drumpf family.
"I wonder if Bob turned green last year when in Ireland, visiting his relatives..the leprechauns, "
Bob was more concerned about preaching his idiotic sermon while standing by a giant phallus. Pretty much describes what happens when you buy into his idiocy.
Moreover, wouldn't an entire congregation or church using green envelopes constitute a grove? And we all know that God said: "Thou shalt not plant thee a grove (Asherah - for IDOL worship) of any trees near unto the altar of the Lord thy God, which thou shalt make thee." (Deuteronomy 16:21)
ReplyDeleteHave you done a parody on LCG ?
ReplyDeleteI have put tithes in white envelopes with red marking on it, white envelopes with black marking on it, yellow envelopes, pink envelopes, blue envelopes, green envelopes. God created color so I feel good about it.
ReplyDeleteI can’t tell if this is satire or not ?? Have we really hit that point??
ReplyDeleteBut they accept green money
ReplyDeleteI am sure it is on God's mind. The color of our money envelopes..
ReplyDeleteI agree 100%!
ReplyDeleteThats why I will now place my offerings in the basket in a brown sealed BEER BOTTLE!
I thought I was reading something from the Onion. Then I realized that LCG does not have the visibility for their doings to be a hit on the Onion, or any other vehicle of mass public satire.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe this is satire. Aren't these guys some of the ones who still only recognize white dress shirts as the only proper mens' fashion for sabbath services?
See also "Pharisees".
Since the average person connects Satan as dark or black like at Halloween, if I saw an envelope was black or had an "X" on it reminding me of being double crossed or X-rated, I would think Hmm, that's different. Since God made the color green and green trees and green grass, I would have positive thoughts about a green colored envelope because those kind of details are very important in my life.
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't I think of this topic when writing a paper in grade school? It would have been so different than anything any teacher had read for a chosen topic. Maybe it would have shocked him or her, and I would have gotten an A just because no one else in the world would think of it as important and want to learn more about it?
ReplyDeleteThis is might truly be the most worthless topic I have ever heard of in my life. I cannot believe someone thought of it let alone put it out there.
ReplyDeleteThis great! LOL!
ReplyDeleteSome of you need to stop taking yourself, so seriously and relax. Your reactions here say more about you than it does anything about the person who submitted this.
Great job!
Want to know why an ACOG leader would object to green envelopes? These green envelopes could be indicative of a subtle acquiescence to the liberal agenda known as the "Green New Deal". Can you imagine? Armstrongite ministers are generally paranoid about subliminal suggestion. Why they just might even worry that members would begin to think that it was alright to send some of "God's tithes" to Greenpeace to help clean up the oceans!
ReplyDeleteReligious Spirit obvious
ReplyDeleteGreen envelopes - groves - Really?
I agree stop accepting green money.
ReplyDeleteGreen is evil Grove connection.
Put in brown pennies instead.
I'm surprised that Flurry doesn't mandate that all his money envelopes be green! I mean, considering his two loves (HWA and the Irish!)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, for those of you who don't know, in the aftermath of Covid, we've had horribly persistent supply chain issues affecting paper used in the printing industry. Much of it has been resolved, but last I heard colored paper is still very difficult to obtain. There has especially been an envelope shortage. Most printers purchase their paper in bulk, at discounted pricing, from major suppliers, such as Spicer. Because of the shortages, some have had to resort to buying at full retail from from Staples, Office Depot, and even Costco. It's entirely possible that these green envelopes, normally unsellable, have been setting on shelves for years, and were the only ones available in the Charlotte area. And then some know-nothing asshat overreacted and wrote up a biblical treatise on the topic. Of course, we could also be looking at somebody's AI-generated "deep fake".
Aw, thanks, 9:32! I only visit this site for the edifying correction I receive occasionally from deeply converted persons like yourself! Hear that sound? Another angel just got his wings!
ReplyDeleteSome of you need to get a grip! I can't believe the seriousness of people. Are people incapable of discernment anymore?
ReplyDeleteThe only angry comment on here is your own.
DeleteI think Dave and Bob should be the color of puke green by now. Both have lost many members, a lot of $ and all respectability (^_^), such as it was.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Bob turned green last year when in Ireland, visiting his relatives..the leprechauns, giving his butt numbing "sermon" standing next to the same sized Lia Fil stone, with his big, fat Bible being thrust in the face of his 5 viewers? Maybe that was what got his witches/Satanist members knickers in a twist and caused them to curse him? Should have kissed the Blarney Stone while you had a chance, Bob! Could have warded off the intense bad luck you have endured this year!
The Green Man is a popular name for pubs in England where people are green with envy over the green ears of barley or is it the green green grass of home or is it little green apples. Oh well my favorite is I walk alone by Green Day. Here's to green eggs and ham and green beer in front of me instead of a prefrontal lobotomy! Hoorah for all things green.
ReplyDeleteThe comments are so 🤣.
ReplyDeleteYou people are making me laugh out loud about all the connection to green things. The topic is beyond stupid.
Laughter is good medicine so if someone needs healing from a disease, let them read this ridiculous religious spirit topic and the hilarious responses. I am sure it will be a turn around.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of Kermit the Frog and his song sung in all sincerity, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mr. "A. Reader," for that informative sermonette.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, COGWA switched to BLUE envelopes years ago. This clearly proves it is the superior church group.
Right?
This is brilliant. Satire at its finest! My respect to whoever penned this.
ReplyDeleteThis has been hilarious today reading the responses here. This is obviously satire. It's satire so well done that it dupped a lot of people. The sad part is that this has revealed that Armstrongism is filled with people who would actually believe this. The best part is watching people like 11:12 get all butthurt when it is pointed out to them that it is satire.
ReplyDeleteWell done to the reader that sent this in.
I'm waiting for Bob Thiel to now give a sermon on this. He is dumb enough to fall for it.
ReplyDeleteGood Lord! What is wrong with some of you people?????
ReplyDeleteWar. That's what's wrong with "these people". They are in a all out war to destroy and deceive.
DeleteGreen envelopes are an Illuminati/Rothschild conspiracy to lead people's way from the true Church of God! Once they fire up the CERN Accelerator and open the portal for Satan to enter Europe it will be too late for the deceived who will have wished they had never opened those green envelopes!.
ReplyDeleteNo need for worries about that, hardly any LCG members in Europe.
DeleteThis whole topic of being fussy over coloured envelopes is a complete farce to what goes on behind the scenes of counting the actual money.
ReplyDeleteI know for a fact it's not beyond COGs to use diaper bags (unused) for putting the money in for delivery to the banks.
When pagans get cold they build a fire, so I suppose any house with a fireplace encourages the righteous to partake in pagan activities, such as building a fire. Or, maybe we should refer to fireplaces as altars to Molech?
ReplyDeleteNo, these green envelopes are soylent green! They are made out of the remains of homeless people who disappeared and have been executed and processed. Be very suspicious of any new products which are green, such as new and improved animal feeds, powerplant fuels, and alternative fuels for diesel-burning engines. It's all based on research which came from Nazi Germany pioneered by the Drumpf family.
ReplyDelete"I wonder if Bob turned green last year when in Ireland, visiting his relatives..the leprechauns, "
ReplyDeleteBob was more concerned about preaching his idiotic sermon while standing by a giant phallus. Pretty much describes what happens when you buy into his idiocy.
The comments here are an absolute riot! Obviously, critical thinking is not as common as we have always thought.
ReplyDelete'Absolute riot' !! Are the peasants not up to thy hollier than thou thinking standards ?
DeleteWritten as a true part of pompous ministry Anon 8:56.
Delete