Robert Ardis: Jesus Is Already Here and Other Stupidity

Apparently we all missed seeing Jesus return to earth, but the prairie dogs caught it all!

I have never paid much attention to the crackpots that have split off of Gerald Flurry's Philadelphia Church of God cult.  Robert Ardis has never been on the radar.  No one seems to have heard of the guy.  He claims to have a large following, has discovered new truths and says Jesus is walking in our midst right now.


Robert Ardis, the leader of the splinter cult Church's of God Faithful has declared that he has found 75 new truths that Herbert Armstrong was too stupid to have figured out.  I guess the 18 "truths" that Herb delivered were not enough.  There was apparently a need for 75 more.

Compiled here are 75 New Truths that apparently were not understood by

Mr. Armstrong, yet are PROVEN as NEW TRUTH as revealed in the WORD
of GOD. Set Apart By Truth

Robert has an intense dislike for Gerald Flurry.  This cult is a splinter cult of Gerald Flurry's Philadelphia Church of God.  The reason being his little miniscule cult is a splinter cult of Flurry's cult.

The Philadelphia candlestick did not stop burning at the death of Mr. Armstrong as Mr. Flurry claims. It is burning brightly today in the Church of God’s Faithful. The Laodicean candlestick was ignited and given to Gerald Flurry four years after Mr. Armstrong died (Luke 13:6-9). Mr. Flurry took the corporate name of The
Philadelphia Church of God, but the fact is that Christ raised up Gerald Flurry as the representative of the LAODICEAN CANDLESTICK—the high priest of Laodicea!


The Churches worked together until Mr. Flurry veered off track, became lukewarm to the Law of God, and ceased following Christ. Now the PCG under Gerald Flurry definitely fits the description of the Laodicean Church in Revelation 3:14-22, and he has assumed the role of Joshua, the high priest, of Zechariah 3. The “faithful” of the Philadelphia Candlestick were organized as the Church of God’s Faithful (CGF) in 1997.

The ministries of the divided and contentious daughter churches of the WCG that are attempting to “preach the Gospel to the world” and endeavoring to bring others into the Church are involved in their own futile work. The WORK of proclaiming the Gospel to the world has been done! Mr. Armstrong successfully completed his commission! The Gospel has been preached to the world, and the TEMPLE had been completed. Now the TEMPLE can be “measured” before the Two Witnesses’ ministry and the Great Tribulation begins (Rev. 11:1-4).

All of the stones of the physical Temple have not been thrown down yet! But, all of the lively stones of the Spiritual Temple, called through the ministry of Herbert Armstrong, have been thrown down and scattered by Satan the devil (Rev. 12:13).

Satan sure is a pesky devious guy that seems to pick on Armstrognite churches all the time.  You would think he had an axe to grind with them.  At least they think he does.


One of the greatest mysteries that Robert discovered is this:  

The greatest MYSTERY of ALL TIME, known ONLY by the Father, is the TIME—the day and hour—of the COMING of Jesus Christ!

Um, this is standard belief in most of Christianity, so I don't know where he gets off saying the above.  However, like any nutcase Armstrongite, God has given Robert a special vision of which this is the revelation:

The great secret, the MYSTERY of GOD, the wonderful New Truth, that has been revealed to the Church of God’s Faithful is that CHRIST HAS ALREADY RETURNED! THE DAY OF THE LORD HAS COME as a thief in the night—HE HAS SUDDENLY COME TO HIS TEMPLE!

Dang it!  Don't you hate it when Jesus shows up early! No descending on clouds from heaven, no trumpets blaring, no heavenly choirs singing.  Nothing!  Nada.....not a peep.


So what caused Jesus to come to earth and hide away?  Guess who's fault it is that Jesus had to come this way?  It's none other than Six Pack Flurry!  Gerald is the reason Jesus had to return:

For seven years Gerald Flurry and the Laodicean Work was a wee, small voice crying aloud the warning message of Malachi. Then, in early 1997 Mr.Flurry made a monstrous mistake. He changed his God-given commission! He stole the rights to Mr. Armstrong’s book, Mystery of the Ages and went to the world with a discordant blast of the LAODICEAN trumpet. Then on the Feast of Trumpets 1997 Jesus Christ came suddenly to His Temple.

Do you realize that Jesus has been here since 1997!  Where has the dude been living?  What has he been doing while wars raged around the earth, where was he when the Twin Towers fell?  Where was he during the tsunami's?  Well, he was busy walking around with a clip board in had listening to your conversations and watchign what you do.  I guess he was too weak to do all that from heaven, so he has been walking the earth for over fifteen  years getting really ticked off for the lack of wisdom on the behalf of a minuscule band of Armstrongites.  With less than 30,.000 of them any more you would have thought Jesus could have accomplished all this a few years ago.

Christ is not coming to APPEAR at this time but to DISCERN who is righteous or wicked, who serves God and who does not.

With eternal clipboard in head and permanent marker he is crossing the losers off the list. 


While Jesus has been busy making hit lists, the end times march forward.  Robert has this to say:

World conditions have grown more frightening as the Four Horsemen are nearer to the completion of their ride. So let’s take a serious look at 2008 to 2012, a period of four years from Holy Day Season to Holy Day Season---APPOINTED TIMES!

2008 to 2012

• The Feast of Trumpets of 2008 is on September 30. The following day, October 1, begins the 12th year in the Day of the Lord---eleven full years will have elapsed since the Four Horsemen have been released to fulfill their horrendous prophetic ride.

• From Trumpets September 30, 2008 to Pentecost May 27, 2012 is 1335 days. Daniel 12:12 plainly states: “Blessed is he who waits and comes to the 1335 days.” The pattern of 1335 days between the Feast of Trumpets and the Day of Pentecost nearly 4 years later has occurred in the period 1996 to 2000 and, as we recorded earlier, 2005 to 2009. After 2008 to 2012, the pattern of 1335 days will not be repeated until 2025 to 2029!

Not only does Robert know when the end happens, he also knows when God stuck his finger in some rocks and made the 10 Commandments.  

In a fantastic display of POWER on that Day of Pentecost 1487 BC, the Eternal descended to the top of Mt. Horeb/Sinai. There God thundered forth the Ten Commandments.

Then there is more crap on the place of safety:

We do not definitely know if the Place of Safety is in the area of Mt. Horeb/Sinai, or as the Arabs call it today, JABAL AL LAWZ. Jesus Christ is the HEAD of this Church and knows exactly where the Place of Safety shall be, because He will prepare it. The Church of God’s Faithful is SET APART BY TRUTH!
Christ will give us this TRUTH, also. He will let us know the exact location as the time to FLEE draws nearer. As of this moment, we definitely have a “good indication”.

Remember brethren, God only speaks through the ministry of this TRUE church.  To doubt us or ridicule us is to call down the wrath of God on your heads.  So toe the line and do what we tell you because only WE have the truth and God is only working through US!  Submit!

So what more miraculous pity words does Robert have for us?

At sundown on October 1, 1997, God’s Holy Day, the Feast of Trumpets, began. That date marked the END of 6000 years since the days of Adam, the physical father of ALL mankind. It also signaled the BEGINNING of the DAY of the LORD! Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, came as a thief in the night to his Spiritual Temple. Twelve years had elapsed from the time of the last sermon spoken by Herbert W. Armstrong, the end-time Elijah through whom Christ restored the Gospel of the Kingdom of God. Now the TIME had come for “THE KINGDOM IS AT HAND” to be proclaimed! This proclamation was given
FIRST to those who would become the PILLARS in the re-construction of the Spiritual Temple. The Kingdom is at hand—the King has returned.

Possibly the 1335 days will begin on the Feast of Trumpets of 2008! We
must wait to see!

Oops!  Guess that one failed!  Robert is now a proven liar.

Then Robert goes on to make this absurd comment:

After a definite period of time spent in Heaven, then the King of Kings and Lord of Lords with His Wife and the angelic armies of Heaven, will descend to the earth in all-conquering POWER to crush all rebellion—and to RULE the EARTH with a rod of iron for 1000 years. Satan and the wicked demons will be completely subdued and put away for that wonderful Millennium of the World Tomorrow. The converted, 144,000 physical Israelites described in Revelation 7:3-8 will be the FIRST CITIZENS of the New World! And our CHILDREN who were protected in the Place of Safety will be the ROYALTY of the earth as the World Tomorrow dawns.

 Robert then goes on to describe in warm fuzzy words how wonderful the millennium will be!

The dead bodies of Gog and Magog, littered over the countryside of Israel, will be the frightening scene that awaits the billions at the Second Resurrection. Each person will be made to view the carnage and stink of this LAST REBELLION. In no uncertain terms the PENALTY of disobeying God will be vividly impressed upon their minds. The dead bodies of the rebellious multitude will be gathered and cast into the fires that will be kept burning in the “Valley of the Son of Hinnom”— Gehenna! Sin will not be tolerated! The vast majority of the bodies of all the people that have ever lived will have disappeared into dust by the time of the Second Resurrection. This is no problem for God! He will give everyone who has ever lived a new PHYSICAL body. The same will be true for Gog and Magog, whose rotting bodies will defile the land. God will also give Gog and Magog new physical bodies! In their NEW PHYSICAL BODIES they will view their OLD, DECAYING, and STINKING former bodies, which will subsequently be thrown into the FIRES of Gehenna. They and ALL mankind will see the sure RESULTS of REBELLION against God!

Doesn't this all want to make you run out and join up with the Church's of God Faithful?  What a glorious vision it has for the world! No thanks!