Pesky Demons and Law Keeping

The Sabbath breaking Apostate Malm posted TODAY (on his holy sabbath) some tidbits about pesky demons and his (Malm's) agenda. I guess computer use on the Sabbath is OK even though it causes you to make someone work to produce your electricity that you are being billed for today.

For those of you being pestered by pesky demons there is a reason for that. You fear them and by doing so you have allowed them to come and pester you!  Don't you hate when they do that!

The evil spirits love to be exalted, to be worshiped and a part of that is that to be feared; fear is a facet of worship.  Those who fear demons will be pestered by them because they love to be feared, they eat it up, because to fear them is to acknowledge that they are all powerful.

 When you allow these pesky things to come and make your life miserable you allow them to stop you from keeping the Sabbath properly, not keep the new moons, and all the other 613 laws.  Because of your grievous back sliding and CONSTANT lawbreaking the Anointed One has made it his mission to put you back on the straight and narrow path.

What is my agenda?  To make a wake up call  from our complacency and careless lukewarmness and:  To proclaim “follow men ONLY as they follow Christ and the Father”! 

The doers of the law shall have the justifying sacrifice of Christ applied to them and shall be imbued with the spirit of God.  (really??? this just goes to show how ignorant he really is!)

What shall any faithful commandment keeper fear?   It is better to suffer and be tormented in this life and to even be killed for the faith as Christ was; then to turn away for our own temporary physical pleasure, for a bowl of potage as Esau did.

If we follow the ways of Esau we shall surely be rejected as Esau was; As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.  This was not about the man: it was about his attitude and actions.  Will you be like him: not valuing the birthright of your calling?  Thinking that the  temporary pleasure of a birthday party, buying a meal for your pleasure on Sabbath, or some other compromise else is worth your crown?

Am I adding to the law?  NO!  I am fighting those who have taken away from the law!  I am restoring the commandments of God which have been compromised!  As Ezra and Nehemiah did concerning the Sabbath day!

Is God's Wrath Ready To Reign Down On COG's Who Meet In Pagan Halls?

A Malmite acolyte has this to say today about COG's who meet for Sabbath services in "pagan" halls - Masonic Lodges, Elks, Odd Fellows, porn theatres, Church of Satan halls and other demonic buildings.

Another misleading thing in gov’t of the COG’s today…they meet in pagan halls! When this is brought to their attention they pass it off as unimportant and subject the congregation to God’s wrath!! They need to read the OT kings and how the GOOD kings utterly destroyed the pagan places of worship and God called it a good thing…they didn’t rent them to worship God!!

Apostate Malm writes:

I would say that there are many hall rentals available in most cities and using pagan halls is entirely unnecessary in most cases. I expect that in most cases the elder or a person in the cngregation may well have masonic connections. See Ezek 8 for the masonic abominations of the leaders of spiritual Israel. James

The stupidity that continues to come out of this guys mouth is amazing!

HWA Was NOT a False Apostle Regardless of Over 200+ Failed Prophecies!

HWA was NEVER wrong in his prophecies!  He wasn't!  He was NOT!  Get that through your laodicean minds!  Here is how some Yahooists claim he was never wrong!

Prophesy has never been a hard and fast thing. Mr. Armstrong has believed sincerely in many events that did not happen as he thought they would. That does not make him a false apostle any more than it made Peter and Paul false when they thought that Christ was coming back in there time.

Even though there are well over 200 document failed prophecies of HWA and other COG ministers, they were and still are not wrong???????

Mr. Armstrong was not wrong and neither were they.

Mr Armstrong never got anything wrong on prophecy as  many will begin to shortly see. He had every valid reason to believe that WW2 was the end.

But on Laodicea he was dead on the money. It is NOT here yet, but there are seeds already planted and growing that will be Laodicea.

What we have now is a dying and weakened Philadelphian era. 

Ephesians did not become something else. They remained Ephesians as they were called. But it is possible to be a bad Ephesian as it is possible to become a bad Philadelphian. No era was perfect and you can be a bad member of any era.

But Mr. A taught that the Laodicean church would rise in the tribulation and do a work.

The work today is a weak Philadelphian work, poor and dying off and loosing the truth of doctrine. This is why it is given the serious warning to "HOLD FAST".

We are told to hold fast because Philadelphia is now removing , changing and watering down doctrine..

Interracial marriage has been CHANGED by all the churches today. They list it as an inconvenience but not a sin. It is sin.. the entire world was destroyed for it!

Sabbath has been watered down.. so much.

But Laodicea is going to rise up yet.

In the recording Mr. Armstrong says  DEFINITIVELY:  "God is still revealing truth to me" and what he said was truth here too

Lucifer Created HWA's Pyramid Syle of Government

I bet Herb does not like hearing this!  Apostate Malm writes:

Lucifer instituted the “Pyramid” system whereby there were layers of authority and each layer intervened and came between the top and the lower layers.  In this way he came between the angels and God and they were taught that to question or disobey him would cut them off from God.

That was the beginning of the “Pyramid” system of church governance.

HWA condemned any type of ministerial authority for years when he did not want to be subject to it.  Then he began to teach the “Pyramidal” system of church government with himself at the top.  HWA then reversed his position on Peter being the chief apostle and began to teach that Peter was indeed the chief apostle and that he  HWA was the later day Peter.  This was the Catholic Primacy of Peter, although that title was seldom used for the doctrine because it linked the WCG with Roman Catholicism.

HWA set up the Satanic “Pyramid” system which was proved to be so wrong by Joe Tkach.  God allowed an apostate to become the WCG leader to teach his people that NO man was ever to be our ultimate moral authority.  There is NO mediator or intercessor between men and God except Jesus Christ.

What Apostate Malm says about Tkach is true!  He brought to light that no man stands between us and God, no law-keeping stands between us and God, and no church stands between us and God despite of what Apostate Malm says!.  If Tkach Sr. accomplished nothing more than this, then he was the right man for that job.  That does not gloss over all the other crap that he did, but in this aspect he was right on the money!

Film From A Recent Grace Communion International Service

Idiot's In The Pulpit: Wizard of Oz, Wickedest Movie Ever!

No, this is not James Malm, but it could be since EVERYTHING in this world is evil and of witchcraft.

It's All A Pagan Perspective

Apostate Malm is now delving into part 3 of his anti-birthdays, astrology and just about everything else in the world that he deems to be pagan.

Birthdays, Sabbath pollution, inter-religious marriage, traveling on the Great Day,  attending Christmas celebrations masquerading as  “reunions” ,  not teaching various doctrines and allowing them to be trampled on through neglect, saying this is what we believe and then allowing the people to do whatever they want without any correction as long as they are NOT zealous for the commandments, calling the zealous “over self righteous” or “Pharisaical” for loving God and his law,  playing politics for power and control, making merchandise of the brethren, focusing people on the organization or leader as much or more than on God,  encouraging people to become “church proud”  by using the psychological trait of wanting to belong, to produce unity with each other instead of unity with God, to exalt our own intellect above God’s commandments and make his law of no effect through our carnal reasoning’s:  These are all examples of the lukewarmness and complacency of the COGs.

Now off to his latest pet peeves. Apostate Malm is not happy that some equate astrology with astronomy.  Apostate Malm wants everyone know that his moon watching, setting dates by new moons, etc is NOT astrology but astronomy.  True Christians only do astronomy:

Astronomy is a science of observing the heavenly bodies to try and understand how the universe works.  The observation of the New Moon is a function of Astronomy.  To observe the phases of the moon is to see what God has set in motion.  God commanded that the sun and the moon be used to determine the seasons, or Appointed Times, Festivals
Gen 1:14 And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
This is NOT Astrology; it is an express command of Almighty God!

 Astrology is the attempt to predict through the observation of heavenly bodies; and the belief that these heavenly bodies influence or control our lives.  In short this is the false religion of worshiping the host of heaven and is specifically prohibited by God in the scriptures.

Apostate Malm allows the new moons, and other "moon" celebrations to set his calendar, to rule is life and make him do certain things on certain days. So I guess he is practicing false religion!

To caste a personal horoscope especially in detail as any leader would want;  the precise details of ones birth date and even the time are required.   This false religion began at Babel and the so called Tower of Babel was a ziggurat or pyramid.  All pyramids came from Babel and are Satanic.  The pyramid was the original temple of Satan and functioned as an observatory to map the heavenly bodies as the temple of Astrology.

Demonic pyramids!!!!!  Who knew!!!!!!  I guess Herb's House of God in Pasadena would also be demonic since it was built along the lines of masonic symbols (this came from a builder of the building that was touring the campus one day). Square cube, facing east, a small room located up in the ceiling, colors, number of columns, the front bridges with an opening of fertility in the center with a phallic symbol jutting out of it with water spurting forth, and more. Pagan, Pagan, Pagan!

The pyramid was a pagan temple of Satan and is always representative of the kind of Nicolaitane dominating system condemned by God.
Any church who claims that the pyramidal system is godly just doesn’t know what they are talking about or is being deceitful.

Oh damn!  That disqualifies all 700 harlot daughters of Armstrongism, well, except for one - Apostate Malm's new splinter cult.  He and he alone has the only truth left on earth today.

One of Apostate Malm's acolytes writes that if one celebrates personal birthdays then it will lead directly into celebration Christmas!  Who knew!

IF we find it acceptable or joyful to celebrate our own birthday and the birthdays of our loved ones, then the logical thing for a Christian to do would be to wholeheartedly celebrate Christ’s birthday with zeal and gusto.

Dennis On: Getting Sodom Straight...

Getting Sodom Straight...

The Biblical story of Sodom is not the story of a town that happened to be 100% gay, men and boys, for this is a ludicrous assumption. This would have to be the conclusion if God, vowing to save it for ten righteous men, did not. It would also mean that "righteous" meant heterosexual, while unrighteous meant homosexual and, well, I doubt that alone qualifies men to be righteous.

The story that unfolds in Genesis 19 is a hospitality story and not a story based on homosexuality. Sodom's problems as remembered by Ezekiel were that the people were prideful, had too much food, too much time, neglected the poor, were haughty and committed abominations (Ez. 16:49-50). Not ANY mention of mass homosexuality. Abominations can be just about anything not in tune with the law and in this case was a reference to idol worship. Another common Israelite trait all through their history. Why would papa Lot offer his virgin daughter's to a crowd of homosexuals, in place of his guests? What interest would homosexuals have in virgin women? ZERO, unless the girls were being offered as an appeasing virgin sacrifice ("for they have not known a man.") This would qualify as an abomination to be sure, and also idolatry. Human sacrifice was still an option it appears with Abram and Lot.

Another factor is that in that culture the protection of guests under one's roof to a male host was a matter of honor. This is why Lot scrambled to come up with a solution to the problem. In Lot's mind, it was about Lot's reputation and honor. Not an uncommon modern theme in Middle Eastern men to this day. Strangers were not taken kindly to in small clannish towns. They could be spies and were always suspect.

The way to put a stranger in his place was to humiliate them sexually, and send the warning that they had best have no ill intentions in the town. In that culture, the most horrific way to humiliate a stranger and have power over him was to mistreat him as one might mistreat a woman. Symbolic or literal rape. The rape would not be a homosexual act, it would be a warning and a putting of strange man in his place as a warning. "In our town, you are just like any other woman, property to be used as needed and disposed of if necessary" It may only have been a threat to humiliate and control as the original request was for them to come out "that we might know them".

There are two schools of thought on "know them". One is sexual and one is to simply interrogate and get to know. Few ever question Lot's evil counteroffer. But it does show that Lot was a product of his culture and personal ego protection. Eastern hospitality issues were at stake here and not homosexuality. EVERY sermon I ever heard on the topic stops short of explaining Lot's egregious behavior as a father. I doubt this ever really literally happened, but if it did, Lot would be no hero of mine. I seriously doubt he had much of a relationship with the girls after this stunt, not to mention Mrs. Lot! Perhaps she did not so much look back to Sodom as refused to look ahead at him leaving town!

I have always found it amusing to inform fundamentalist males who literally believe that "women come from men and not men from women" as Paul ignorantly noted, that the human fetus starts out female. While the genetics to be male or female is there, the initial stages of conception put the fetus clearly in the female camp. Torture the Taliban with this fact! It is only after the fetus is bathed in the chemistry of testosterone after the fourth to sixth week does it literally start it trip toward maleness. Without that chemical miracle and it can be interrupted by many factors, including stress in the mother at the time, and the male born can be highly feminized in both thinking and body. We all know men who act very feminine who in fact are not homosexual but are oft accused of it. This would reflect such a deficiency in the womb. It's a big topic medically, environmentally and socially and I do not mean to address them in any detail. The information is out there.

I know many gay men and women (I am not gay), and there is not one that I could see being anything but who they are. I have asked each one when they knew their leanings sexually were toward their own sex and it is ALWAYS between 8 and 12 years old. They then, (I live in Fundamentalist Land), spend the next twenty years having it prayed out, Bibled out, preached out and counseled out with massive doses of fear, shame and guilt. At about age 30, they tend to finally give up and admit, "I seem to be what I am." And accept themselves even if others don't. One gay friend and their partner of 20 years recently met a pregnant teen who was going to abort her child and long story short, they paid for the birth, attended it and adopted the little girl as their own. At the infant baptism ceremony she was taken to by the one of the partners, a member "outed" them to the new Pastor (the old one was more don't ask don't tell), and the next day the Pastor gave them a video to reform them. They were not not interested in reform. To a gay person becoming heterosexual on command would be the same as a heterosexual becoming gay on command. The next day they were disfellowshipped from a life long church affiliation by the new pastor. So, you be the judge. A gay couple saves a nearly aborted child, raises her like a princess and gets bounced from their church after 30 years. WWJD?

What's the point here? I think, leave people alone. No one can live the life of another. Thought control and obedience to organizations and leadership, to me, is suspect and not a path that serves the individual in the long run. In the 250 peak years of the Inquisition, the Catholic Church successfully murdered as "witches" (you shall not suffer a witch to live), tens of thousands of women. These were mostly midwives, herbalists, and some men who simply were not interested in Catholic control and "truth". Like Lot, women were expendable to the Church to preserve honor and the patriarchal, literalist, goddess smashing politic.

I have always chuckled at Leonardo da Vinci's painting of the Lord's Supper. Everyone "knows" what they are looking at. 12 Men and One Jesus in the middle. Ah... but look again. Sitting on the right hand of Jesus is a woman, looking like a woman and in fact, probably being Mary, "the prostitute". Leonardo had his own opinions about WWJD and who He might honor in a society that would not agree. Perhaps we should be just as kind and respectful and not let the misuse of scripture taint our view of real human beings.

Dennis C. Diehl

DenniscDiehl@aol.com

LCG's New Stealth "News" Site

LCG has a stealth web site/show up called "Head's Up" that you would not know had any connection to Rod Meredith unless you click "About" and then you would not know unless you click on the "Tomorrow's World" link.  HWA traveled around the world embarrassed to say he was part of a church and it looks like Meredith is carrying on that tradition.

This site is operated by Heads Up, LLC and is sponsored by the publisher of the Tomorrow’s World magazine.

Looks like the same old hot air, just repackaged.

COGWA Sets Up New Doctrinal Committee Because They Still Cannot Decide What They Believe

It is amazing that each harlot daughter of Armstrongism has to set up a doctrinal committee to study doctrine and church beliefs.  The various COGlet splinter cults love to mock mainstream Christianity because of it's varying beliefs, yet they do the exact same thing.

The COGWA doctrinal team will have to tweak their doctrines to be  just a tad different that UCG's.  If their teachings were the same then there would be no reason behind their organization and therefore no need for anyone to have followed them. 

I am also pleased to announce that on Wednesday the board, by unanimous approval appointed a permanent Doctrine Committee as required in our governing documents. The men approved by the Ministerial Board of Directors as members of the Doctrine Committee are:

• John Foster
• Bruce Gore
• Don Henson
• David Johnson
• Ralph Levy

These men are all known for their personal integrity and knowledge of God’s Word, including the fundamental beliefs of the Church. It should also be noted that other men worked very hard in this capacity during the interim period for the past nine months to protect the integrity of our beliefs, and we very much appreciate their service during that time.

Pre Feast Trials A Foretaste of Endtime Tribulation

Michael Hanisko from COGWA comments on how Satan stirs up all kinds of trouble just before the COG has it's Feast of Tabernacles.  Of course there is a reason behind that.  It is to give the world a glimpse of what hell will be like during the tribulation when Satan is running to and fro trying to destroy the TRUE COG.

It has always been interesting to me to observe how often that major catastrophes in our country and in other parts of the world occur just before the Feast of Tabernacles. Hurricane Irene a few weeks ago, the economic crisis of 2008 and “9-11” in 2001 are a few. You may also recall the economic crisis in the 1980′s, referred to as “Black Monday,” that also occurred just before the Feast. I have often thought that Satan is hard at work just before the Feast doing all he can to discourage the people of God.

These crises also give us a glimpse of the kind of panic that the world will experience when this age and Satan’s system comes crashing down. I can’t help but think of some of the statements in Revelation 18 where we read a description of the fall of

Babylon. For example: “The kings of the earth who committed fornication and lived luxuriously with her will weep and lament for her, when they see the smoke of her burning, standing at a distance for fear of her torment, saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city Babylon, that mighty city! For in one hour your judgment has come.’ And the merchants of the earth will weep and mourn over her, for no one buys their merchandise anymore”

(vss. 9-11). And, “For in one hour such great riches came to nothing. Every shipmaster, all who travel by ship, sailors, and as many as trade on the sea, stood at a distance and cried out when they saw the smoke of her burning saying, ‘What is like this great city?” (vss. 17-18)

I would think he would be concerned about his own church leaders who live lives of luxury at the expense of poor members.  Ministers who are narcissistic, self-important, and rebellious.  These men who had the hissy-fit to form COGWA have been men who conspired and plotted behind the backs of two church organizations, all the while remaining on a church payroll until they knew they could jump ship straight into another paycheck system,

Of course his members are special and set apart from the world.  They are special and unique because they are COG members who follow a magical god and who keep the Feast of Tabernacles:

It is good to remember that God’s people are exhorted, in Revelation 18:4, to “Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues.” The upcoming Holy Days and Feast of Tabernacles give us an excellent opportunity to do just that as we strengthen our vision of God’s coming Kingdom.

Apostate Malm: Pagans Did It, You Can't!

Apostate Malm continues today about witchcraft and astrology.  Who is this source that he is getting his information from?  Another fired nut-job COG minister, Slick Willie Dankenbring.

Apostate Malm quotes Slick Willie on birthdays:

Though you look in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, you will find no mention anywhere of any of the saints of God observing their birthdays. In fact, strange as it may seem to many, even the exact date of the birth of Jesus Christ is NOWHERE REVEALED in Scripture!

You can search the Bible from Genesis to Revelation you will find no mention of lots of things, yet we do them today.  Only legalistic cultists look for things hidden or actually not even there to make their rules and regulations.  How better to keep the sheep under control but to burden them with endless, useless irrelevant rules and regulations!

The plain truth is that birth day celebrations are only mentioned twice in the Scriptures — once in the Old Testament and once in the New Testament – and both times in reference to customs being observed by unconverted, pagan people — an Egyptian Pharaoh, and wicked king Herod!

Oh my!  These two dudes also ate food, danced, married, wore clothes, drank wine, went to the toilet, took baths, travelled, argued, read "books", breathed air, and even farted.  So because they did these things we should NOT be doing them today?  John the Baptists had his served up on a platter at a party/banquet.  Are we to not have parties and banquets today?  This just goes to show how Armstrongites make mountains out of mole hills.

Then Slick Willie moves on to astrology which is one of Armstrongism's bogeymen.

God Almighty says to the daughter of Babylon (Isa. 47:1), the great pagan religious deception which has engulfed the world, “Thou art wearied in the multitude of thy counsels. Let now the ASTROLOGERS, the star-gazers, the monthly prognosticators, stand up, and save thee from these things that shall come upon thee. Behold, they shall be as STUBBLE; the fire shall burn them; they shall not deliver themselves from the power of the flame” (Isaiah 47:13-14).

Slick Willie seems to forget that the Israelites and COGgers look to new moons, set their dates for religious observances by the moon, watch the rising and setting of the sun, practice numerology, and other things similar to the "pagans."  Apostate Malm and Prophet Thiel are huge believers in numerology.  They love to count numbers, set dates, and wallow in all kinds of speculations just as the sorcerers did.

The whole message of God is to teach us to humble ourselves, and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves – to get rid of ego and self-centeredness. Birthdays have the opposite effect. They concentrate the attention on the birthday person, glorifying him – not God – and exalting him – not God – and having people bring him presents. Thus paying “homage” to the birthday child. This is the height of conceit and fosters a spirit of get, selfishness, and self-worship. Self, self, self! The whole extravaganza creates pride and lofty conceit in selfishness in a child. The typical birthday party is therefore one of the deceptions of the devil, made to look attractive and nice on the outside, but full of wickedness on the inside.

Yet we were supposed to grovel at the feet of our humble Apostle (HWA), evangelists and pastors.  Men who were self-centered, narcissistic, egotistical, self-righteous and self-worshipping.  We were to be in awe of their presence and the words that spilled from their mouths. It was all about, ME, ME, ME!  Just look at Flurry, Pack, Weinland, Cox and Meredith.  It is all about them. Their words are the most significant words ever uttered on earth.  They are Elijah's, One of the Two Witnesses, God's Anointed, Apostles, Pastor Generals, etc.  Stand in awe and continue to be amazed!

Then in wondrous glory, Apostate Malm concludes with this STERN warning:

I say:
2 Cor 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
¹⁶And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
¹⁷Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.
¹⁸And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

And I mean it!  Almighty God also means it!  We are NOT to indulge in the pagan practices of this world.  By partaking of the sins of this world; if we do we shall be corrected for our good by our God.

Nowhere in all the Bible is the birthday of ANY person of God revealed!  WHY?  Because are carnal nature would cause us to run off to celebrate that day.  We would then celebrate Christ Mass and saints days throughout the year!


If God wanted us to observe birthdays, then he would surely have t0ld us the birthday of Christ so that we could honour him in that fashion.  Instead we are told to honour him be observing the day of his DEATH!  And the day of his ascension to the Father to be accepted for us as our sacrifice and High Priest on Wave Offering Sunday!

The observance of Birthdays is so utterly wrapped up in paganism that we cannot avoid becoming polluted if we choose to observe them.  The only thing that can be done in good conscience before God is to simply acknowledge the passing of another year, while avoiding all the partying and pagan hype.

Dennis Says: "You Might Be a Preecher if..."

You Might Be a Preecher if...

In my own experience and in hindsight, sermonizing and preaching really accomplishes little in the lives of intelligent people.  My own "style" was to leave people having learned something they may not have known before. I enjoyed the comment, "I never knew that," or "No one ever explained that to me and I have always wondered about that."  Perhaps I was, at times a "we must, we should, we have to" sermonizer, but I repent!  :)  

For the most part, I never found preaching all that inspiring. How often I, as others sat through the sermons of others feeling somehow trapped in my seat and thinking, "yea, yeah...how long did it take you to think this up?"  How often did we "let's turn here and let's turn there," ourselves through an hour and half sermon.  It did not help me or inspire me much. 

The worst sermon I ever heard was given at a "Refresher," which were often exhausting but an evangelist who wanted to teach us all about marriage.  It was a 4 hour session.  He took the Nave's Topical Bible and read EVERY scripture on marriage with a running commentary on each from Genesis to revelation.  One one occasion, when I learned who was giving and what was being talked about in a session, I quietly got up and went to the Long Beach Rock and Mineral Show leaving my cohorts to suffer together. 

At any rate, now I live in Jesus Land and hear even worse preaching from sincere men who have even less background and education.  Here is how you can spot a minister of the Gospel all too often.

There is nothing more both hilarious and pathetic at times than to watch ministers inflict themselves upon the sheep and public. These men, and they are mostly men, aren't pastors, but rather are Preeeeechers. These men are usually self appointed and thus accountable to no one or are approved of by those who also have something to gain by being in their magnificent shadow.

They have little or no real theological training having only attended a fundamentalist school where they learned not theology, but conformity to some already established guru. It is there job merely to let others drill a hole in their head, insert the funnel and pour predetermined, never changing, never updated information into their heads. After a few years, they are "ordained" to go and repeat everything they were taught by the denomination, or risk getting fired.

They are the kind of men, and I know not just a few, who will say "I know you are right, but if I try to teach that, I'll lose my job." That's the pathetic part. On the other hand, many Preechers also will quickly tell you how off base you are since he disagrees with you, and you are going to hell with that attitude or perspective. Judging the human heart is an art form with Preechers, and getting defensive when questioned is what they do best.

Preechers, as opposed to Pastors, are easy to spot, as are their specially selected Elders and Deacons. Here are the sure fire things you will find when you have indeed run across a Preecher instead of a Pastor or a man or woman with a heart for ministry, caretaking and healing.

1. When they enter the room, they just look like a preecher. They wear suits when everyone else is casual. They look serious, when everyone else is happy and glance around often to see if everyone notices "they" are here. When they speak, it's loud and draws attention to their having entered the room.

2. They have great hair. Preechers don't have brush cuts. They have meticulously combed hair. If it is shorter, it is reminiscent of the 5o's and if long, it is swept back on the sides and top, perfect and almost helmet like.

3. They always carry a really big Bible under the arm or grasped tightly in one hand like you'd hold a gun. The pocket editions never seems to occur to them.

4. No matter the occasion, someone's wedding, funeral or party, they want the attention. They can't just be there, they HAVE to speak.

5. Preechers get upset when there is no ministerial parking at the hospital. They have busy fifteen hour weeks and can't just park with the masses. In such cases, simply ask them where would Jesus park, and the problem usually resolves itself.

6. They drive really spiffy cars. No used chariots here. It has to be a preecher car. Usually a large car which he "needs" for all the visiting he says he does. The car is usually dark to give the appropriate serious feeling as in "Mom, the preecher's here." A hip preecher might opt for yellow or red, but he'd have to be preeeeching at a yuppie break away church that prides itself in authenticity of spirit. You know the kind of place where no one dresses up and come as you as is the rule.

7. They talk loud when normal will do. A preecher goes nuts in the pulpit speaking. His voice changes, he bounces in a funny way on his heels and adopts a cadence that only the preeecher could come up with. He's usually angry and uses scriptures to let you have it. You can spot a preecher by the one fact that he speaks from the pulpit in a way that would get him fired in the real world of work or sent to a mental hospital or the circus. A preecher can also give opinions and say things behind the pulpit, as long as he sounds religious or proof texts his way through the harangue, in ways that would get you sued, fired, or scored. He can also come up with some of the most amazing foolishness right out of the Bible for you to try to apply in your real life.

8. A Preecher usually just can't stand you not knowing who he is. When he calls a store or professional office, he usually will say, "This is Pastor Bobby Bouncy, of the Grace International Baptist Church in Pumpkintown..." They can't stand either on the phone or in public for you not to know how important they are and how much you need to pay attention to what they are about to say or ask for.

9. Every third sermon is on tithing and if you want to have really successful Christian finances, you will give more as God loves a cheerful giver, good measure, pressed down and overflowing. If you don't tithe...

10. The Preeeeecher won't let you have your dad's funeral in the church or your niece's wedding if he has no record of your tithing. He might show up at the funeral home or someone else's hall to do a ceremony, but he will want to be paid.

11. The Preecher's wife looks absolutely beat down. You sense that there used to be a really nice woman in there somewhere, but she has long since died in service to the family,church and of course...the Preecher. If she is a hottie, then you know he married her to enhance his status as Preecher with the guys. It may also be if she is frumpy and outdated, the Preecher has read her every idea the unmarried, no kids Apostle Paul could dream up with regard to marriage, sex and child rearing. She lost her true self long ago. The Preecher's wife misses a lot of church and is sick a lot.

12. The Preecher's kids are "beautiful" no matter what. A real preecher will humiliate them with stories from the pulpit of how HE had to discipline them and what they will and won't be doing or believing. Their chance at being an authentic human being is slim unless they break away and resist being groomed for the same school mom and dad went to. This would be the only true school where Jesus attended and taught and where the only true God made weekly appearances. The Preecher just knows all other schools are where Satan goes.

13. A Preecher will mind your own business for you.

14. People will say "did you see Preecher Bobby was even cutting wood with us", or "The Preecher was right in there helping the rest of us (peasants)." A preecher gets extra credit for doing what most people normally do and for helping out where most would help out without being noticed. This is because, in fact, the Preecher is special and when a special person does mundane things, it's...well special.

15. A true Preecher has special places where he sits at public functions. He usually surrounds himself with the elders and deacons he personally ordained, as they think the most like himself and know how to provide his narcissistic supply.

16. Preechers just give the impression they ain't like us. Some over came some human foible in the past and just know that's why they are supposed to preach. Being a Preecher is still one the few remaining lucrative jobs a man can get with little education, few credentials and no common sense. As long as the man can read, tell stories and keep his personality in tact, he qualifies in Preecher land. He only needs to know what the Bible says. The grasp of the history, background, intent and meaning of scripture is not a necessary trait. He's a master at quoting what benefits him from the Old Testament and skipping the embarrassing or obviously outdated and irrelevant parts. A Preecher hates a smart ass kid asking sound theological questions of him that he can't answer.

17. A real Preecher expects "professional courtesy" to be extended to him and his family. You know, discounts from local merchants, though now more a thing of the past in most places, and free help to put a new room or roof on his home because he is "The Preecher." His catatonic wife will supply the "free" lunch to the workers, who can't believe that the Preecher's wife actually made lunch for THEM. Wow!

18. When a member needs a free roof put on their home, the Preecher will check the tithing records before dispatching the work party. He might show up the first hour, but then has to go about the Lord's business.

19. A Preecher makes work for himself by offending half the congregation every week and keeping the political pot well stirred so he has sermon topics and reasons for visits. He makes up projects that don't need doing and has meetings on topics he wants the Sheep bullied into. If you don't participate in his make work projects, you'll never be a deacon or elder.

20. A true Preecher has no tolerance for anyone missing church or a Bible study, and numbers are VERY important to him. If your dad, who was not a member of his Church, dies, you feel a bit guilty for missing Preecher Bobby's sermon and of course, 'ol Bobby won't be doing the funeral.

21. Finally, You can tell you have a Preecher, as opposed to an authentic, nicely educated and compassionate Pastor, when the man can never look you or a congregation in the eye and say "I'm sorry, I was wrong." A Preecher is NEVER wrong.

Oh wait, wait!

22. You know you're in trouble when the Preecher decides that he is not JUST a Preecher. He convinces you he is an Evangelist, Apostle, The Apostle or maybe even one of the Two Witnesses, if not both.

23. Lastly you can tell if a man is a preecher if, when he dies unexpectedly or messes up morally, the whole church tanks as he has made no plans for the future beyond his own future, which is now in the past. He has held it together by force of personality, and when he is gone, it's all gone.

Addendum:

How can you spot a Preecher's deacon's and elders?

1. The deacon's ordained by the Preecher now want their friends to call them Mr. and stop the serving they were doing previous to ordination and order you to do it.

2. The Elder ordained by the Preecher can't remember your name and makes you feel funny asking him over anymore, sensing he is now some sort of Jesus Land Security employee.

There are many dedicated, loving and compassionate Pastors in Christianity, it is not of these men and women I speak.

Dennis C. Diehl

DenniscDiehl@aol.com

Are You Practicing Witchcraft in the COG's? The Apostle Thinks So!

According to Apostle Malm marrying outside the Church is a sign of WITCHCRAFT......along with everything else in the world. 

Break a commandment and you are committing...WITCHCRAFT!

Brethren to do what you know is against God’s commandments; and to attempt to justify it as Saul did IS  rebellion against God: IT IS A FORM OF WITCHCRAFT!

When UCG states that marriages outside the faith are condemned in the scripture; but if you want to do it, that’s alright with us. When they say that they will support any elder who is comfortable in conducting such a ceremony: They are practicing the same kind of rebellion as Saul did!!!   This  is witchcraft!

Celebrate a birthday...WITCHCRAFT!  When you light those candles the burning flames carry your prayers to the Satan!

The elders in UCG and those that formed COGWA are strongly supportive of birthday celebrations.  While the years do pass and we do get older; should we really celebrate the passage of the years by pagan methods involving witchcraft?

Should we close our eyes making a wish [offering a prayer] over burning candles so that the prayer will ascend to the spirits in the fire and smoke as is done in witchcraft?  Should we party with a gathering of our friends as the pagans did and do; this done to pacify the demons to guarantee a good year?

So in order to stop this vile practice of WITCHCRAFT the apostle is instituting a new way to keep birthdays...

Some food for thought: Is it scriptural to exalt the child?  or for the child to honour the parent?  As parents we dote on our children daily; if we were to acknowledge a  birthday; would it not be better and more godly for the child to honour their parents by thanking them for all they have done for the child; including giving them life and the all that they have.   This world with its rebellious nature does the opposite of what is godly;  why participate in its errors?

Part of the reason you cannot keep your birthday is that you are too stupid to know exactly when you were born.  Pagans have influenced our calendar, witches, demons and Samuel LeVay have taken over birthdays now and use the calendar according to their will, thereby making it invalid.

In LaVeyan Satanism, birthdays are considered holy days and are ranked as the most important holy day of the year for the person concerned, as a time when the gods will grant requests.  The Satanic Bible says that each individual is a god and therefore one’s own birthday is the birth of a god.  This is the basic lie of Satan in the garden that we are all gods if we decide right from wrong on our own.

And this is only from Part 1 of his screed: http://theshininglight.info/?p=4740

The Role of Women In The Church

Sandra on  Chronicles of a (Formerly Christian) Heretic  had these questions to ask about women and their role in the church.  Can you ever imagine any woman ever asking these questions in Armstrongism?  Those that dared to have all been disfellowshiped, or beaten back into submission (literally and figuratively).

I know women preachers who are better speakers and more knowledgeable about the Bible than most of the COG ministers out there.  How embarrassing for those COG minsters to have to deal with that!  Imagine a woman smarter than Rod Meredith, Pack, Coulter, Weinland or Flurry!  Well, on second thought, that is not hard to imgine at all! 

What If Women Had a Voice at Nicea?

What if women had been given a voice at Nicea? What if the Apostle Junia had written an epistle that survived, even if only in references by ancient critics? What if the cult of Jesus had not won the economic and political turf war against the mystic gnostics? What if the Acts of Paul and Thecla had made the canon? What if we still believed Jesus really was a totally flesh-and-blood, sweaty, sexy man?

Would women have not become second-class citizens of the Kingdom? Would we have quit making excuses for ignoring "male and female, created He them" and "in Christ there is no slave nor free, male or female"? Would women be respected in the Christian community as whole, complex people instead of wombs with legs?

What if we had taken Jesus seriously when he honored the whore, the women disciples, the adulteress, the mother, the rich patroness, rather than only following his example as the destroyer of the temple?

Who would we think God is? Who would we think we are?

Idiots In The Pulpit: Jesus Camp-Becky Fischer Teaching Kids How To Raise The Dead

Becky Fischer teaches children in Singapore  how to raise the dead:

Talk About Some Busy Angels!

click to embiggen

Armstrongism has always thrived on the myth that it's members were going to be whisked away to three an half years of final training in the deserts of Jordan. 

Various evangelists and ministers have come up with all kids of idiotic ways of getting there.  The big thing that was floating around when 1971 hit the scene was that DC 9's (or 10's) would be used to get us there.  At that point in time those planes were having a lot of problems with cracks in their wings.  Some numbnut in Pasadena came up with the reasoning that with all the airliners disposing of those planes we would be able to use them to fly the church to Petra.  God was going to miraculously hold those wings together and not allow them to fall apart mid flight over the Atlantic.  The airline companies would be happy to give us the planes because they all secretly hoped the planes would crash and the TRUE CHURCH would be killed off.  But to our relief and comfort our magical god was going to make it all work out to our benefit.

Now there is some minister telling his congregations that personal angles will be whisking members off to Petra when the time arrives.  I forget where I heard that first.  It may have been in a comment on here.

Tonight there was a comment on the the uber-conservative COG board on Yahoo.  They brought up this very point:

  In Mathew 24 and starting in verse 15, it tells about the coming tribulation and going down through verse 44, do these events follow in exact sequence, and immediately happen just prior to Christ`s return, or could some of these events happen just prior to the tribulation? Who would it be that would be the one taken and the one left? It would seem that since God`s people will be in a place of safety at the time of the tribulation, where would the one be taken to be apparently spared?! Is it possible that in verse 40 and verse 41 that it is referring to those just prior to the tribulation, and is it possible that these verses are speaking about some in the Church where one is converted and the other is not and the converted one taken to a place of safety, possibly by an angel of God?-----I just thought that I would throw this out as food for thought.

You would think after 70 some years of failed prophecies and the public abysmal failure in 1971 and 1975 that these numbnuts would keep their mouths shut!  But no!  It is one speculation after another. 

  Flurry's cult is ready to flee at any moment as they build million dollar buildings around the clock.  Meredith's cult is ready to flee in 2012 or 2016 or whenever Prophet Theil figures out the correct date.

What would Armstrongism be without it's myths, legends and it's magical god?

Beware of Those Who Claim to Speak on Behalf of God!

A few posts below I posted a  Pat Robertson running off at the mouth again and making a complete ass of himself.  His comments about people divorcing spouses if they have alzheimers quickly made the rounds on the blogs, Twitter and news papers and TV.

One of my favorite bloggers listed here on my side bar recently had an article in the Washington Post about Robertson's proclivities in speaking for God.  Turner's article is just as applicable to COG ministers who also have diarrhea of the mouth every Saturday in hundreds of COG's around the world.  When any ministers says they speak for God then you should run the other direction immediately!

For years, whenever Pat plays medium for the Holy Ghost, the majority of the words that come out of the man’s mouth are chock full of bad theology, run-on sentences and fragments, and proof that he probably shouldn’t speak on behalf of God without using a teleprompter. And what’s more sad is that, most of the time, Pat never apologizes or retracts his ill-formed “wisdom.”

Does Pat Robertson Speak For God? 

The COG's reek with ban theology, proof texting and out-right lies  Of course we all need to remember that all COG members have the HS indwelling in them because they are TRUE ministers of God. There is not one single COG minister that should be speaking in the name of God.  None of them do!  They all should apologize for what they have preached and taught.  Only a handful of COG ministers in all of COGdumb have apologized:  Worldwide Church of God Ministerial Apologies