Monday, October 2, 2023

Could This Be The Most Pathetic Feast Sermon Ever?


Imagine for a moment that you have driven close to a thousand miles to attend the Feast with like-minded brethren, or maybe spent thousands of dollars in plane fare for you and your family. You arrive at your temporary dwelling in a mid-priced hotel and walk into a room with less than 40 people present. Already the alarm bells are going off, but being the good COG follower you are you tell Satan to take his nasty thoughts and shove them, you are there to enjoy the Feast!

Then it comes time for the sermon. All excited you bring your briefcase up onto your lap and pull out the big fat Moffit Bible you have diligently been highlighting for years and the new notepad bought especially for Feast notes. After all, true followers of Christ take diligent notes so they can inculcate the word spoken by God through the ministers. You are excited to hear new truths about the millennium and the world tomorrow where the wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, the calf and the young lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them.


This is going to be so great, your kids will be enthralled.

And then, the minister opens his mouth and it quickly goes downhill. You look at your kids as their eyes enlarge and tears start to form as they hear this:


Wild Beasts and Prophecy

Louis Rubin discusses the prevalence of tigers as pets. He also discusses the number of dogs and cats people have. He quotes passages in Deuteronomy, Leviticus, Ezekiel, Revelation, and Jeremiah related to prophecies about problems with wild beasts, including dogs. Louis Rubin quotes various ones related to risks associated with rabies. He speculates that food shortages related to the ride of the third horseman of the Apocalypse may be a factor in the deaths from wild beasts and pestilences associated with the ride of the fourth horseman of the Apocalypse. He mentions that scripture prophecies the death of 2 billion people during the ride of the fourth horseman.

What in the flying jackass did you just hear? Your kids now see this in their minds:


All of this crap is derived from another ludicrous article by the Armstrongite propaganda machine in the 1960s when the tribulation was just a few short years away. Scare the brethren and they will send in more money for that final push, and to save their sorry asses.

The old Radio Church of God published the following:

God warned Israel in Leviticus 16:14-35 what would happen IF THEY DISOBEYED this law. Israel was to receive severe punishments in four progressively worsening stages unless the nation repented.

Some have thought this prophecy apples only to Israel’s first punishment, and isn’t for us today. They quote verse 22: “I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children, and destroy your cattle, and make you FEW in number; and your ways [roads] shall be desolate.”

Those who are scoffers will say, “That is no concern of ours: there are not enough wild beasts in this nation to do any serious damage.” Don’t you believe it! We are already getting a foretaste of this condition. Rabies and other diseases that are spread by animals are becoming increasingly more destructive, …

Besides the rabies that is being spread far and wide by foxes, skunks, mice, bats, and dogs, there are many more diseases that are bringing great destruction to our children and cattle. Diseases, however, are not the only source of trouble from animals. Man has so abused his natural surroundings that wildlife populations and their food supplies are becoming unbalanced. When a species becomes too numerous, or its natural food supply runs low, it is likely to cause abnormal destruction due to sheer hunger madness. Consider the following report from TRUE MAGAZINE, March, 1960:

“There are twice as many rats in the world as people — about five billion (400 million rats in the U. S.). EVERY 12TH FARM IN THE WORLD PRODUCES FOOD ONLY TO FEED RATS; a total of about two million average sized modern farms! …”

Wild animals are destined to become even more destructive THROUGHOUT the world BECAUSE MEN HAVE SEVERELY ABUSED THE LAND. (Robinson JW. Are We Cursing our Land? Good News, December 1960)

This is the resource material for Armstrongite and Bobite "ministers" to pull their information from. These men of the improperly named "continuing" Church of "god" have never had any real religious education, know nothing about the Bible except what they read in Bob Thiel's books and booklets, or if they have been in the church long enough from old Worldwide Church of God publications. That is the reason they CANNOT discuss Jesus or the New Covenant in any detail.

Ideally, that kingdom to come in their long desired millennium will be a kingdom ruled by Christ that will be 1,000 years of rest, unless they are a king or priest or better yet a god or goddess and then they will be busy ruling worlds with rods of iron. No rest for the wicked! They need to be educated into the ultimate truth, Bobism!

Little will be heard about Christ at any of the Great Bwana Bob Mzungu's Feast sites. Upcoming death and destruction with war, plagues, rampaging animals, vicious cats and dogs, rabid hamsters, and knife-wielding chinchillas will be the topic of discussion. Finding rest in Christ will not be heard.





 






 

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yep scare the ones who went out away from the hub-bub, back in again 🏃🏻‍♀️🚶👩🏿‍🦽🤸🏻‍♀️🚪

"Scare the brethren and they will send in more money for that final push"

it's a Dave Pack tactic applicable to any & all other ankle bracelet sects

Anonymous said...

Dear all Armstrongic ministers:
Please write out 3 times, check each word in the Greek, the following [you still may not get it]: Galatians 3; Hebrews 7:5-12 [see Greek for "change"-Hebrews 7:12 and "removing"-Heb 12:27 KJV; Hebrews 9:10. (I know; there's so much more).

Anonymous said...

Anyone here ever do a concordant study of the “beast of the field” in the Bible?

If you do, let us know what you find, and what seems strange about those “beasts.”

Feastgoer said...

Sadly, a story about rats attacking a child made national news in recent days.

Maybe some of the young people will be put on animal control duty when the Kingdom comes. After all, there will be WORK to do to get ready for the second resurrection.

DennisCDiehl said...

It takes years to get over "inculcation of the mind" :)

Anonymous said...

A thousand-year rest from Bob Thiel. Awesome...even so come quickly Lord!

Anonymous said...

the rats in that day could run part time on electric generator hamster style treadmills for clean energy, to feed power into the , with no need of a nasty Saudi petro-dollar

and kids can clean the droppings in the rats' kitty box part time too next to the spin-wheel 🎡 🐭 💡🔌

Anonymous said...

What's the next edifying sermon going to be about? Proper etiquette when you have diarrhea?

Anonymous said...

I do not think that any of these guys have an original thought in their brain. Everyone regurgitates HWA or twists scripture.

Anonymous said...

If you want to be truthful, every sermon that is preached in the Continuing Church of God is pathetic. Bob Thiel set the bar so low that none of the other preachers have the motivation to do better.

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious and so true! Great job.

Anonymous said...

Why is this period a time of Jacob's troubles? Is the church going to live through the tribulation or will it be raptured before the excrement hits the electric cooling device?

Anonymous said...

Bob Thiel set the bar so low that none of the other preachers have the motivation to do better.

Anyone who preached better than Bob would make him so jealous that he wouldn't let them last long in CCOG.

RSK said...

Heh, Bob likes to cite Armstrong when it suits him, but more often than not I think the phrase "one greater than Herbert is here" plays in his head. The man's really disassociated from reality.

Anonymous said...

Animals or humans?

Food for thought:

Jer 50:17a Israel is a hunted sheep driven away by lions. (ESV).

Isa 11:4 But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth:.. and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked.

Isa 11:6 The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.
Isa 11:7 And the cow and the bear shall feed; their young ones shall lie down together: and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
Isa 11:8 And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice's den.

Isa 11:9 They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea.

“The imagery changes again with verses 6-8, though verse 9 offers its explanation. Context suggests that the talk of harmony in the animal world is a metaphor for harmony in the human world. The strong and powerful live together with the weak and powerless because the latter can believe that the former are no longer seeking to devour them. The end to which verses 6-9 lead thus belongs to the same thought as verse 1-5 and fits with other themes from earlier chapters (e.g., 2:2-4).

Isa 1:3 The ox knoweth [yada‘] his owner, and the ass his master's crib: but Israel doth not know [yada‘], my people doth not consider.
Isa 11:9 They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of the knowledge [de‘ah] of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea.

“Indeed, the book opened by using animals to stand for human beings (1:3) — also in connection with the question of knowledge, as here” (John Goldingay, Isaiah, NIBC, p.85).

Isa 2:2 And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of the LORD'S house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills...

“A literal interpretation of verses 6-8 would also have difficulty explaining how wolves and leopards can remain themselves if they lie down with lambs and goats. The picture might be more generally symbolic of order and blessing, no more to be interpreted literally than the geophysical transformation of 2:2-4 (Wilderberger, Isaiah 1-12, pp.480-81). But verse 9 points away from this too” (John Goldingay, Isaiah, NIBC, p.88).

Isa 65:25 The wolf and the lamb shall feed together, and the lion shall EAT [‘akal] STRAW like the bullock: and dust shall be the serpent's meat. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain, saith the LORD.

Isa 65:25b AND DUST [‘APHAR] SHALL BE THE SERPENT'S [NACHASH] MEAT ... saith the LORD.
Ge 3:14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent [nachash]... DUST [‘APHAR] SHALT THOU EAT [‘AKAL] all the days of thy life:

“... it seems odd that this creature should also be present in the renewed Jerusalem. Perhaps the implication is that such life is no more designed to be challenge-free than life in Eden was” (John Goldingay, Isaiah, NIBC, p.369).

Isa 11:8b and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice's den.

“There can be no doubt that the prophet means here to describe the passions and evil propensities of people, which have a strong resemblance to the ferocity of the wolf, or the lion, and the deadly poison of the serpent, and to say that those passions would be subdued, and that peace and concord would prevail on the earth” (Albert Barnes' Notes on the Bible).

Ge 49:9a Judah is a lion's whelp:
Ge 49:14a Issachar is a strong ass
Ge 49:17a Dan shall be a serpent by the way, an adder in the path
Ge 49:21a Naphtali is a hind let loose:
Ge 49:27a Benjamin shall ravin as a wolf:

Dt 33:17 In majesty he [Joseph] is like a firstborn bull; his horns are the horns of a wild ox. With them he will gore the nations...
Dt 33:20 Gad: he dwelleth as a lion,
Dt 33:22 Dan is a lion's whelp

Anonymous said...

I'd bet that Bob can preach better than any of his critics on banned. Put up a video of your own sermons. Put up or shut up.

Anonymous said...

Oh, looky...someone got their little delicate feelings hurt over criticism of Bobbie Boy. Bob is a fraud from day one. We knew it in LCG just as those here know it. God is no more part of his so-called work than He is of Gerald Flurry or David Pack. We've been discussing Bouncy Bob's flailing wrist sermons here for years. You are rather late to the party.

Anonymous said...

The delicate dude has to know that none of us here would waste our time writing and performing an Armstrongite sermon as if we were in a contest with Bummer Bob.

But, just for reference, Gary has in the past posted links to videos or webcasts put together by ACOG teenagers who put Bob Thiel to shame.

OOOoohhh! Buzz-kill!

Retired Prof said...

This post takes me back to the 1950s, the heyday of the Radio Church of God. My father made us little kids listen every night to Herbert W Armstrong prophesy on "The World Tomorrow" broadcast on radio station XEG out of Del Rio, Texas. At the end Daddy would say in an awed voice, "He sure says a lot in a little bit of time, doesn't he?" I had to agree that he did, but I never understood what it was, except for the frightening images and an anecdote or two. He was always getting omens of coming disaster by reading booklets by Armstrong and magazines like "Police Gazette."

He would talk about how Germans were going to rise from the ashes of WWII and come over to America and conquer us, and how it was a good thing we children had blond hair and a German name, which would persuade the German soldiers not to throw my little sisters into the air and catch them on their bayonets. They would do that only to American babies and toddlers who were not blessed with these advantages.

Before long Armageddon was going to erupt, and one of the effects would be an epidemic of ravenous animals. Whenever a report of a rabid dog came out, he would say, "See? It's starting up." A terrible auto accident killed a bunch of teenagers nearby, and he lumped that in: another early sign of soon-coming doom. Yet another was the prolonged drouth of the 'fifties, which Almighty God had inflicted on America for our sins. It was all coming together. It would not be long now.

Pretty soon a mighty battle would rage, and blood would flow as deep as the horse's bridles. My father would play a glorious role in that battle. This he expected even though he could not pass a military physical exam because he was club-footed and walked with a limp. He had never seen a stream of blood as deep as that, and he could hardly wait for the fighting to start so he could witness it at last.

He never got to. He lived for many years and died not from a wound in battle but from dementia in a nursing home bed, unable to remember anything at all, even who he was.

Anonymous said...

It must have drove Bob nuts that Sasha was such a good speaker.

Àyelböůrne, Elder on Ørgæñìa ⚖️ said...

they could try doing one of those new TedTalks & see if that sharpens them up for Youtube

Anonymous said...

Wow! Something that looks worse than Boob Theil’s curtains. Did he have that feast banner rolled up in his backpack?

Anonymous said...

It's clear in the idyllic mural that, whatever date in the future, the "time of the gentiles" is also over. I don't know what's being taught today in the splinters, but much was made of the time of the gentiles back in the day, and it wasn't exactly the kind of stuff that was helpful in stamping out racism.

Anonymous said...

So now, they swing to the other extreme and dump tithe money in Kenya & Malawi