Chairman Malm's "Little Feast Book"

If I had to choose only one word to summarize James Malm, that word would be "INTENSE." For all the regulars here who have been cleared and approved by James and are definitely going to be attending with him this year (LOL), you will need to spend every waking moment between now and the feast preparing to be unassailable during one of the most intense and grueling phases of your Armstrongite career, but just 9 average days in the life of Apostle Malm. Once you arrive, it will be too late to fix anything that you may have overlooked preparing for, and as you face the withering force of Malm's interrogation, any oversight on your part may get you dismembered and sent to the lake of fire on the spot. And we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we?

To help everyone out, I've put together this handy feastgoer's cheat-sheet, which will help you keep the most crucial pet doctrines in mind during your oral exams. I guarantee you, you're definitely not going to want to forget to bring this with you.

Here's your Cliff Notes for the most important pet doctrines James Malm will be strictly enforcing for 9 days straight at his Oregon concentration camp. Think of it as similar to Chairman Mao's "Little Red Book", except in this case, you're dealing with Chairman Malm. Good luck, comrade!

"Focus on the "spiritual" by focusing on the physical letter of the law, while trying avoiding everything else physical"

• "God uses the physical to teach us spiritual lessons." (That's why we should focus exclusively on the letter of Old Testament laws.)

• "The majority of the churches have been converted into social clubs, fellowship and fun, and have pushed aside the spiritual focus. This even has happened with the observance of the Holy Days of God."

• "[They] are to be filled with "spiritual" feasting*, with physical feasting**, song, music and dancing*** for joy**** in the Lord."

**** Joy: Don't be tricked by Satan into confusing "joy" with "fun"

• "The real issue is around today’s resort non-Feasts which are vacations with the excuse of a biblical Feast."

• "We are commanded to spend our tithe on [minimal] food and drink and sharing with others, not on expensive vacations."

• "Feast sites are NOT to be established in vacation hot spots."

• "Feast sites should be in poorer areas with no outside attractions."

• "They are NOT to be spent in paragliding, car racing, or other activities..." (sermons and bible study ONLY!)

Warning: When James Malm uses the word "joy" he is not using it in any traditional sense. It is more akin to type of "joy" experienced by Jews and Russians who had the opportunity to be made "free" through "work" during WWII.

Zeal!

• "Truly many are all wrapped up in themselves and want to try do an absolute minimum to just get by."

• "Most people are doing what they are told and not because they love pleasing God, or because these festival messages are so inspiring." (And they certainly are inspiring. NOT!)

• "Where is the true passionate love that says, 'How can I please you my Lord?' Where is the going the extra mile to please God?"

• If you're finding it hard to get excited about ancient obsolete laws, then you are a BAD person.

• If the feast doesn't feel like a burden, rest assured, you're doing it wrong!

* "Spiritual" feasting: Give me 9 days straight and I'll give you the letter of the law."

• "At the 2013 Feast I want to study the Ten Commandments. This week’s material, and the covering of the other laws, statutes and judgments in Leviticus and Numbers, completes the whole Commandments and Law study."

• "Please be aware that this will be a Feast somewhat different from the traditional WCG."

• "The Sermons and Bible Studies will be consistent with the teaching on this blog." (Facepalm...)

• "It will be a Feast of much strong "spiritual" meat; not a vacation in some tourist site."

•  "You can be sure that presentations will be full of meat and not long-winded, boring; same old, same old." (Yeah, right.)

• "The Feast will be about making the most of our time for "spiritual" instruction." (24/9 wall-to-wall sermons/bible studies about keeping the physical letter of Old Testament laws.)

• "I am not a trained speaker...the content is most important...The delivery will improve [eventually]..." (Zzz)

• Prepare to be inspired by browbeating harangues for 192 hours nonstop!

• Forget about spirit, intent, practicality, or sensibility. It's all about rote, unthinking, literal, physical, strict pharisaical obedience to more arbitrary and obsolete "commandments" than you could possibly wave a stick at.

• Do NOT expect to hear any messages about mercy, forgiveness, or Jesus, as such topics encourage a lack of "zeal."

"Chairman Malm:  100% Agreement ONLY! Dissent “WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!""

• "This site is reserved for those who have proved the doctrine at this site to [James Malm's] personal satisfaction and are solidly on board."

• "Sacred Names people and others who want to attend only to push heresies will NOT BE TOLERATED." (Malm's ex-wife is NOT welcome.)

• "Larry has taken a stand on the calendar, however he does not agree on the meanings of the Festivals etc, and has said that he will not attend our Feast site because I will not allow dissent." (Larry is NOT welcome.)

• "One Strike and You're Out" policy. (You will become instantly NOT welcome.)

• No fake 'love love' unity will be permitted, or Satanic unity through pagan hand holding.

• If you don't feel like you're walking on eggshells or navigating a minefield, rest assured, you're doing it wrong!

** Physical" feasting: Eating, drinking, and other pleasurable indulgences during the feast

• "Church people even purchase goods and services on Sabbath and Holy Days, especially in restaurants...FOR SHAME!" (If I could choose a second word, it would be “shame.”)

• "Seek a room with a kitchenette." (You will NOT be eating out during the feast!)

• "If that is not possible a small cooler to keep a few perishables overnight."

• "A simple mid day meal of a salad, a pear, and some Edam cheese." (It’s very important that the cheese be Edam…)

• "All grocers have very convenient ready to eat choices from veggies and dip plates, to readymade salads, fruit, sandwiches, cookies and sweets, cheeses, bread, etc."

• "This will not be...a feast of booze; it will be a [purely figurative] feast at the table of the Lord."

• Curtail wasting too much time indulging in physical pleasures such as eating and sleeping, or nonessentials such as bathing and tooth brushing, because these are needless distractions that take time away from focusing on god and his word during the feast.

• The less time you waste eating, the less time you will waste in the bathroom, as it is not proper to read the bible while pooping.

• Other pleasurable indulgences, such as having sex with one's wife or with a prostitute, are frowned upon even during non-holy time.

Traveling to the feast

• "Staying in a motel is not a problem as we pay and get settled BEFORE any Sabbath or High Day."

• "Arrive early enough to take care of all necessaries before the first High Day or Sabbath."

• "Inform them that no service will be needed on Sabbaths or High Days; which usually delights them."

• "People claiming to be converted Godly people have paid bills, packed belongings, cleaned their temporary dwellings and traveled on this High Holy Day...This is a DISGRACE and a blot on your garments."

• Always remember the 3 most important words in Malmism: Preparation, preparation, preparation!

Accommodations

• "If we all camped on a local farm and met in the barn and truly kept the Feast rejoicing together; what would it matter if we stayed a day beyond what we calculated?"

• "If funds are a major problem [you] might consider camping out on [your] farms or in [your] back yards."

• While on the farm, one should probably be careful not to accidentally feed or milk the animals or accidentally spread physical manure on the sabbath (but spreading spiritual manure is okay).

• "Those who have nowhere to go, might chose to go to a place where they can study intensely without the distractions of the many carnal activities usually associated with the modern feast observance."

• "Apartment dwellers might, as a last resort only; set up a tent indoors to [physically] act out the analogy of being travelers in a strange land." (???Why???)

• Whatever you do, ignore the biblical commandment to build a booth!

Proper attire

Men:

• "Tzitzit fringes have been superseded by the holy spirit which it represents. However the fringe is certainly lawful and desirable. It is highly likely that this will be required like circumcision, in the coming Kingdom of God and  I would never object to anyone who chooses to wear one."

• "The uncovering of a man’s head, and that does not mean the shaving of his head, but the removal of the hat or covering; was a sign of courteous respect for God."

• "We are not to cut our hair or beard in the fashion of making our face look deliberately circular as a sun symbol."

• "we are not to shave round circles on our hair as sun symbols and we are not to shave our heads and beards in mourning."

• To be clean shaven is okay (drapes, not carpet).

• No word from James about whether a suit and tie is required, or if some ancient robe or tunic is more proper for appearing in before god. Somehow, I doubt James owns any nice looking clothes.

• Do not wear a phylactery, tefillin or frontlet. (Please leave these at home.)

Women:

• "Feminine hair...should be covered in a gesture of modesty and respect for her husband, when she prays or discusses the word of God." (24/9 during the feast.)

• "[A married woman] removing or refusing to wear a covering veil represented an unfaithful wife, a fallen woman, an adulteress...For a woman to go uncovered was to be seen as a rebellious or adulterous wife...a lewd woman is to have her veil removed..."

• "[Women] are simply not to cut our hair into anything resembling a 'masculine' style."

• No unclean furs such as mink, but unclean furs such as badger may be okay since they were used in making the OT tabernacle. Furs and makeup are probably signs of feminism.

• "I am amazed at the number of strapless dresses, mini-hemlines, plunging necklines, and sprayed-on applicator dresses that are worn for purposes of worship."

• Wearing a burkah might be interpreted as a sign of a bad attitude. (Please leave these at home.)

The blowing of shofars

• "There is no excuse not to obey the commandments and observe this Feast as God has commanded! With Shofar, Shoutings and Rejoicings!"

• If you are one of the rare individuals in modern society who does not already own a shofar, you'd better order one now, because a shofar and an offering are the two items you are definitely not going to want to show up without.

The waving of branches

• "Here we have a direct command to take branches and to rejoice with them for seven days."

• "Boughs or branches of goodly trees are to be cut on the very first day, the High Holy day of this Feast."

• "The palm and willow are specifically mentioned, however we are NOT told that these branches are limited to the palm and willow."

• "The branches [people] represent the main harvest of humanity being brought into the Temple [family] of God."

• "We are to rejoice with our branches; to represent the great rejoicing as the main harvest of humanity is brought into the family of God!"

• "if [you don't do this] you are losing out on a valuable lesson and much understanding of the meaning of this Feast."

• It isn't clear exactly what "valuable lesson" one might learn from stick waving, but perhaps James will clue in the elect to this esoteric knowledge during the feast.

• Just to be safe, you might want to go online to the Jewish websites and order your citron, or etrog, now. The good ones go first. Any observant Jew knows that your branches are meaningless without your citron.

*** "Davidic" dancing vs. "carnal" dancing

• "Biblical dancing was never this touchy feely embracing dancing...not the ballroom dancing style...and not the usual COG big band carnal dance at the Feasts."

• "Dancing before the Lord as David involved songs of praise and dancing for joy in the Eternal."

• "It was always dancing as an expression of joy closer to the Jewish dancing or a kind of leaping for joy and rejoicing before God. We should be doing that at the Feasts."

• "This is too energetic for Sabbath but excellent for the middle Feast days."

No word from James about whether it is proper or improper to "shamelessly uncover" oneself as David did.

Prayer

• "Prayer is degraded into an emotional experience; indeed much such prayer is not to seek God, but to impress those present by voluminous flowery and impressive language."

• "Hand holding is a definite emotional bonding between people; instead of a personal contact with Almighty God...The pagan concept behind this tradition is to demonstrate UNITY by holding hands together."

• "Hand holding is most definitely wrong and has its roots in witchcraft."

As you attend the Feast-gulag 2013 with James Malm, not only will it be a time of mind-numbing agony, you'll also know you're pleasing god. How can you be so sure? Because Chairman Malm said so, and he certainly sounded sure when he said it. Imagine being sequestered away with these jokers who have self-selected themselves as some of the most judgmental people in all of Armstrongism. It promises to seem like an eternity of cloistered boredom, pointless study, minimal food and drink, and a vow of poverty. Obviously this is the perfect preparation to acclimatize you to the kind of happiness, fun, and excitement you can endure all the time in the wonderful kingdom of god you're preparing to be imprisoned in forever. With James Malm, you never have to worry about what happens when you die, you're as good as dead already. Don't forget to smile, comrade!

Something James Malm is blind to is how truly odd and unusual he is. He assumes he's an average specimen, but he is ANYTHING BUT normal. His eccentric lifestyle might compensate for his emotional deficits and chemical imbalances, but normal people could NEVER live such a suffocating and INTENSE lifestyle. How many repeat priso-, um, customers do you think James Malm will have at next year's concentration camp, once they fully realize the mistake they made by coming the first time?

As you prepare for James Malm's first feast, here's a little song you can hum to put you in the mood and inspire a little "feast fever."

Accentuate the Physical

by Johnny Mercer & The Pied Pipers

Gather 'round me, everybody

Gather 'round me while I'm preachin'

Feel a sermon comin' on me

The topic will be sin and that's what I'm ag'in'

If you wanna hear my story

Then settle back and just sit tight

While I start reviewin'

The attitude of doin' righteous

You've got to ac-cen-tu-ate the physical

E-lim-inate the spiritual

Latch on to the negative

Don't mess with the Apostle In-Between

You've got to spread gloom up to the maximum

Bring "fun" down to the minimum

Have zeal or tribulation is

Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate my last remark

Herbert and Dave Pack, Malm and Roderick

What did they do

just when everything looked so dark?

Man, they said:

We'd better ac-cen-tu-ate the physical

E-lim-inate the spiritual

Latch on to the negative

Don't mess with the Apostle In-Between

You've got to spread gloom up to the maximum

Bring "fun" down to the minimum

Have zeal or tribulation is

Liable to walk upon the scene

~~ Head Usher ~~

Quote of the Day: Doug Winnail Says Dave Pack Is Not Connected To Reality.

Today's Kewpie Doll Award Winner

Kewpie Doll:  A small inexpensive and cheaply made doll given as a prize for winning a game at an amusement park or fair or given as a consolation prize. A sarcastic term to denote a figurative prize (not actually given) for either accomplishing or not accomplishing a trivial goal, such as attempting to spell an easy word or guessing the answer to some trivial question.

Doug Winnail at Living Church of God had some precise words for Dave Pack and his grandiose reunification project.  Rod Meredith is one of the men that Dave's god is  supposedly going to kill by August 31, 2013.

“While some critics and self-appointed prophets and apostles continue to predict the imminent demise of the Living Church of God, these predictions are simply not connected to reality…”

David Hulme's Group Losing Members to Rod Meredith in Europe

As mentioned in an earlier post, the Church of God's are not growing because of new "worldly" members coming in, but are growing because of church poaching/hopping.

Global COG UK, has lost so many members over the last several years to be able to hold a Feast in the UK.

Even David Hulme's personality cult is losing members.  Slick magazines that  don't talk about God or Jesus until the last 2 or 3 paragraphs are not getting the message out.

The Global Church of God (aka Church of the Eternal God in the USA and Church of God a Christian Fellowship in Canada) will not be holding a Festival of Tabernacles in the UK for the first time since the church’s inception in 1993.

When Roderick Meredith found himself unable to exert full control over the church, he established the Living Church of God, and then left Global in November 1998, together with over 70% of the ministers and members. The remnant splintered, with some re-grouping, but the UK (plus congregations in Belgium and France) remained intact as Global.

Global has declined steadily, and now comprises only a nominal congregation in Derby, England. The Living Church of God in Europe has been a mirror image of Global, rising from almost nothing to over 200 attending Sabbath services today – albeit the large majority have been transfers from the Global church and David Hulme’s Church of God an International Community.

Leon Sexton: Church of God In Burma: Death, Sin and Apostasy Are Hurting My Spiritual Babies

Leon Sexton has spent several decades preaching the gospel of Herbert Armstrong and a "strong hand from someplace" to the Thai, Burmese and other nationalities of that area.  Sexton has given the impression over the decades that he alone is the authority on that region and what should be preached.

Apparently not enough COG members are flocking to the region and now apostates who actually speak about Jesus are disturbing his "spiritual babies."  With that kind of condescension directed towards these people it is no wonder they are becoming disillusioned.

The idea that he calls the Gospel message a "perversion of doctrine" shows what a shallow little man he is.  It is the doctrine of a man that he is concerned about, and not the doctrine of salvation and justification by grace.   Law vs. grace, where in Armstrongism rules trump and are more important.

The Church of God in Burma has been devastated by the loss of pastors due to death, sin, and apostasy. More and more are coming to Jesus Christ, but we have no pastors to feed and protect them. Without spiritual food, the newly called wither and die spiritually. There are also the wolves that lurk about, hoping to pounce on unsuspecting new spiritual babes who are not strong in grace and knowledge. These would-be teachers hide in the shadows and periphery of a congregation until some unsuspecting weak new member—or even an old, tired member—comes along; and then they pounce with false accusations of others and/or perversion of doctrine. If a congregation has strong pastoral leadership in place, these false wanna-be ministers will be exposed for what they really are.

Bob Thiel Copies Another COG Book Because He Can't Come Up With Anything Original and Then Promptly Sells It Members

Bob Thiel, the non-ordained self-appointed Chief Overseer of the Continuing Ed Church of God, Mayan authority and self-appointed world renown scholar on prophecy, has announced that his splinter personality cult has a new Bible Hymnal. Don't expect originality here.  Same old songs from from 1974 and Ross Jutsum.  Just another copycat.

Since its formation on December 28, 2012, the Continuing Church of God has used the 1974 edition of The Bible Hymnal of the old Worldwide Church of God (WCG) for its song book and made it available online.  But it was always our goal to produce additional song books by the Feast of Tabernacles for 2013.

Several have asked if other hymns, such as those composed by Dr. Ross Jutsum, could go into the new hymnal.  So, after a series of attempted, and finally successful, contacts, an arrangement between the the Continuing Church of God and Nazarene Books with Dr. Jutsum was agreed to and finalized last week.  So certain additional hymns from Dr. Justum were added to the song book.   The late Herbert W. Armstrong had long ago approved the hymns by Dr. Jutsum for use in WCG church services.  Many will recall such titles by Dr. Jutsum as By This Shall All Men Know, How Good and How Pleasant, and It Won’t Be Long Now.

So, the new 2013 hymnal of the Continuing Church of God consists of all the hymns, etc. that were in the 1974 edition of The Bible Hymnal of the old Worldwide Church of God, plus 17 additional pages added after them for the additional ten hymns that were composed by Dr. Jutsum.  The front and back covers were changed (the front cover shows the remains of what could be the oldest Christian worship building; see also Church of God on Jerusalem’s Western Hill).

Bob is selling this magnificent earth-shattering book on Amazon through his book publishing front that seeks to be a legitimate source for books in the world's eye.

Now, I, through Nazarene Book, have arranged to make the paperback edition of The Bible Hymnal via Amazon.   The Continuing Church of God is not selling the book, but Nazarene Books via Amazon is.  The list price for The Bible Hymnal is $8.99, but Amazon is temporarily selling it for $8.54.  Since Amazon has recently been selling used 1974 editions of The Bible Hymnal of the old Worldwide Church of God (WCG) for USD$22.73, and since the new version of The Bible Hymnal contains all the same unedited hymns, etc. that the 1974 edition contains (plus more), some looking for a COG hymnal may find it a bargain.

UCG Admits They Have Not Grown As A Church - So Let's Start "Operation Broken Rung!"

The UCG admitted today that their church has not grown over the last several years.  This is a well known fact.  None of the COG's are growing (except for COG7).  All any of them do is poach members from other COG's to increase their numbers.  Worldly pagans are just not interested in their message of law, doom, damnation and death.  All of the COG's still are living in the 1950-1980's.  They cannot for some reason repackage their messages.  They cannot move into the 21st century and find relevance with humanity.

We have a tremendous library of literature, but the problem is that we have not grown in membership. We must have a peaceful environment before we can expect growth, but we must also find ways to progressively engage those who learn about God’s truth through our efforts. Our present ladder of involvement from first contact to baptized member has some broken rungs on it. Call it “Operation Broken Rung,” but we must fix that progression of engaging to teaching to converting those new who God is calling.

UCG Vic Kubik: Talks About Loose Lips

The UCG is having theri ministerial conference right now. In it's open rekarks Vic Kubik ahd this to say:

After greeting the Council Mr. Kubik commented on the positive bond and lack of tension among the administration and the Council that is such a hallmark of our present circumstance. Such peace and harmony is allowing us much needed time to focus on important items.

Now that the cretins and trouble makers are gone, peace and harmony has arrive.

He outlined the function of the management team that has worked together for the last three years. The team has a seamless relationship that is so beneficial for rebuilding our processes over the past three years. He mentioned that the role of operations manager of Ministerial and Member Services (MMS) has not and will not be filled in the immediate future. Chris Rowland has been a big help administrating MMS along with Roy Holladay overseeing the manpower in the field ministry. Various ones of the management team oversee projects on behalf of the president from international oversight to leadership training to other functions.

We must have a strong priority to keep the peace within the body. We need to continue to monitor conditions and resolve situations that can cause division, and move forward together. Which is more important, our petty grievances or continuing to do God’s work? An old World War II motto in the U.S. shipyards was, “Loose lips sink ships.” Likewise, loose lips that cause division can terribly damage the Church today. We need to seek peace and pursue it.

Hum, what about Vic's loose lips when he was plotting and coniving in the  SOG Dorm 360 along with several others as they sought to rebel against Tkach Sr.?  I guess it was OK to plot and plan while still on WCG payroll so that a smooth transition to another payroll system could be thought out. 

What about kicking out WCG members who did not agree with the changes in the year or two it took to plan his church?  The way they found out about these people was through loose lips.  Then they sat around the Hall of Ad and the Library Annex talking about these people and what to do with them.  The loose lips of the staff at Ministerial services was appalling when they were located on the first floor in the Hall of Ad.  Laughing and mocking  members problems and trials was an ordinary experience.

James Malm Lets the COG Know What He Will Be Speaking About for 9 Days Straight at His Oregon Feast Site

Here is the topic of the entire Feast of Tabernacles that James Malm and his fledgling group of legalists will be occupied with:

At the 2013 Feast I want to study the Ten Commandments and I am thinking that this week’s material, and the covering of the other laws, statutes and judgments in Leviticus and Numbers, completes the whole Commandments and Law study.

Nine days of listening to Malm harp on and on about the 10 Commandments.  Bloody hell!  Throw me in the Lake of Fire now!

Notice that he makes no mention of Jesus at all.   Malm's foretaste of the Kingdom is one of fists of iron enforcing the 10 Commandments instead of a time of grace and mercy with Jesus Christ.

UPDATED: Gerald Flurry Fails To Buy A Large Portion of Bricket Wood Campus

It seems that Flurry was not able to buy as much of the old Ambassador College Campus in Bricket Wood, St Albans England as he wanted too.  Other people were bidding on the property also, and they won!  Poor Gerald, so much Herbert Armstrong merchandise to buy up and no money to do it with!  He just cannot ever reach the pinnacle of success that Herbert Armstrong was able to accomplish.  Poor Gerald still remains the laughing stock of the Church of God for his idolatrous worship of Herbert Armstrong.

HSBC training site set to be used for 160 new homes AFTER months of fine-tuning, a planning application to build more than 160 homes on the former HSBC training centre site in Bricket Wood has been submitted to St Albans district council. Developers St Congar Land intend to turn the 185-acre site in Smug Oak Lane into 167 new homes and convert the existing New Lodge and Hanstead House into a further eight dwellings. The project, to be named Hanstead Park, would be focused on the areas of land that have already been developed, and much of the existing high quality trees would be retained or supplemented. St Congar Land director Steve Taylor said: “We’re delighted to be submitting this proposed scheme for the much needed redevelopment of the former HSBC site. “Future residents of Hanstead Park will enjoy a range of housing types, surrounded by stunning landscaping that is in keeping with the area.” Mr Taylor added: “St Congar Land would like to thank the local residents for their feedback following the public exhibition in September and subsequent meetings. “We were encouraged by the high turnout and this vital engagement has allowed proposals for the site to be shaped with sensitivity to the surrounding area and the needs of local residents.”  The Hert's Advertiser

St. Conger's plans for the former campus are here:  Hanstead Park

Poor Gerald also was never able to buy up the old Imperial Schools either.  It is the local Community Hall and been used by UCG for many years as their church facility.

Here is one of the buildings that Gerald was after.  Locals are not too happy he is getting it.  Another American cult in their midst is not that appealing.  Hanstead Estate

Here is our favorite idol worshiper kneeling at what is supposed to be the very rock HWA prayed at over 80 years ago.  Gerald went to great lengths to dig this up and haul it all the way back to Edmond to place on his compound. Whenever Gerald needs strength he goes and sits on the bench staring at the rock asking God why he has never been able to do the same things HWA did.

UPDATE:

The report suggests that Hanstead House is part of the conversion into apartments. As Hanstead was the original college building, he would be gutted, I'm sure, if he didn't get it and maybe wouldn't want anything else. The Japanese gardens surround Hanstead & the mansion housed the library, some offices & originally student accommodation. Dr Rae had his office there and was confronted by a newspaper reporter doing an expose & had a heart attack & died as a result. The reporter left without helping him. The other newer bits of the campus, such as the gym and dorms, are quite a distance from this central "gem." There is also a small private cemetery on the estate with railings around it, built by the original owners. I think there are at least 2 WCG members buried there, one is Mrs Silcox, wife of the Head Gardener & Deacon, Howard Silcox. I think the other was a Dr Bogdanovich, a musician who taught at AC and who's wife taught at Imperial.

I Want All of you (who feel it) to Get Up Out of Your Chairs

 Dennis "Beale" hopes you will go to your windows...

"So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell:

I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

I want you to get up right now. Sit up. Go to your windows. Open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not gonna take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!...You've got to say,

I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first, get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it:

I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE! "

Howard Beale--Network

I grew up in a home that , while very stable and calm.  With a handicapped brother, my parents had a full plate and I knew it.   I have never seen my dad angry until this past year in his 97th year when he got confused and his grief over mom's passing erupted.  He threw a bucket at a window in the home , breaking the window.  Dad has kept a lifetime of anger inside as was our custom. 

Expressing anger or emotion was pretty much out.  "We don't say that...."  was a common response when I'd let something loose and over time, I didn't say it anymore.   I packed it in. (Yikes maybe the word "Pack" causes me to react!)  I kept it to myself and the only way you could ever tell I was angry was when I get stone cold quiet and say,  "it's ok...don't worry about it."  Ok, let me rephrase that.  


The only way you can tell I AM angry is when.....    

When I got some counseling for depression towards the end of my WCG experience, the counselor told me that my humor "tended" to be passive aggressive.  LOL.  I said,  "well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!  Ya think?"   No...I didn't say that, but I thought it.  He also told me after taking some test of sorts,  "Dennis, you tend to break the rules you disagree with."   That was about all I could take.  I asked him what he did and my first thought as an example to myself at that time was how I treated the "To be played in all the Churches" tapes.  Alas, I could not argue with him on that one.  It's probably why I held (passive aggressively)  my  "Ask and you shall not have.  Do not ask and all things are possible"   approach to some of the snow flakes from heaven that came down to me as minister from on high.  "No more YOU dances because two kids fornicated in New Jersey" was one that I rejected in Kentucky as we had the best Proms in the universe for the kids and even if some of them fornicated, I'm not doing away with it!   Next it would be no more pot lucks because someone farted in Missouri.

Anyway, depression was a part of the mix as minister as the mental habit of "we don't speak up or get angry" was ever a part of my program.  What I was angry with in WCG I ignored, to my harm.  Depression, in my experience, was my tendency to not express myself.  Any anger felt was either felt to be something I had no right to express or the price of doing so would be just too darn high.  In the ministry that was always the case.  I ONCE called Joe Tkach to ask if it was so that Ramona was divorcing HWA as I had heard.  He had to call me back.  I was gone when he did, so he just yelled at my then wife to "tell Dennis to put a lid on it!!!!"   Of course, it was a valid question and she did divorce him.  I learned from that one.   The Tkaches taught me that when they told me "No" it meant "Yes" and "Yes" meant "No" 100% of the time.

Denial of what I was experiencing in WCG was also a close ally to the repressed anger.  I recall knowing that 60 Minutes was going to do it's hit on the WCG and it was not a little hard to take since I had not come into ministry for this bullshit.  I went visiting all day Sunday and made it so I was not home when it aired.  However, once home, the phone rang and rang.  I thought a lot about Dennis the Paleontologist that never was and not minister I seemed stuck with in an organization that seemed so right when I discovered it and was to be nothing but drama and a life lesson for me at Earth School as I now call it.

I  started to come out of the never say what you are actually thinking stage when I even surprised myself  confronting Gerald Waterhouse, whose visits made me nuts as he caused more problems than he solved, with "what are you going to say when HWA dies?"

I have mentioned this before of course, but when he said, "I'll believe it after three days and three nights," and felt my brain click off channel just a bit more on the whole WCG thing, I knew I had crossed a line in expressing myself.  I also got kicked under the table.

All this to say, it is not healthy, and was not for me to repress what I felt, or saw or thought all the times I found myself at odds mentally, emotionally and spiritually with those who had my ministry in their hands.  I also learned that when you repress anger and feel your own views are somehow invalid or not important to the powers that be, you can turn to things for comfort that don't actually help.  Hindsight is great.  It is also painful.  If you wish to push my last button, and there have been times where it has occurred here on Banned with the generic condemnations of "those ministurds", as if all men in ministry were shit, well...just say that.  LOL.   I got a bit irritated at being called a "made man" a few days ago as if I was mafioso, but I took it in context and calmed down.  Judgments like that simply remind me of what I already consider big life decision mistakes that I will pay for to the end.  I already am aware of it and crass reminders are like sticking pins in my eyes. I may have passive aggressive but I probably have found active aggressive at this stage too.





In my heart and soul, I'd be happy just to be a quiet, meditative Buddhist type in the Western mode.  I'd like to be able to simply accept all that is and say "Is that so..." to all that is yet to come in life without drama or caring about it.  I don't read the Bible for encouragement near as much as I watch the cosmology videos on youtube. That gives me perspective and fits the science done well lover in me.  Once when by myself in the museum in Jerusalem where all the Biblical artifacts I had ever seen on TV, in Biblical Archaeology Magazine or in National Geographic were on display, I made a turn down a small hall of glass cases with the original Neanderthal skulls from Mt Carmel I had also seen all my life in books.  The Bible artifacts were interesting.  But I stood alone inches away from whoever they were and had tears streaming down my cheeks in emotion.  It was a revelation to me as well.  I simply was overwhelmed, not with Bible stuff, but with human origins for real.  It's why when I read of some COG type harkening back to what Adam and Eve did or didn't do I get a bit passive aggressive.

To the point.  I KNOW there have to be PCG and RCG members and ministers who have to be going through the same thing.  You can't possibly agree with all your great yet theologically ignorant and self centered leaders believe about themselves, their work and your place in it.  Yet I know you won't speak up.  You feel you don't have a right to or the price will be too high.  Only the second reason is true if you work for the man or don't want to get thrown out of the one true church on earth, which of course, it is not but you don't know that yet.  Add to this the need not to let you "good friends" down, none of whom you would have met had it not been for church, and you are stuck until it becomes so evident that you simply can't put up with it anymore.

The time when you won't put up with it anymore is coming.  For Dave Pack and his Restored Church, it is even at the doors.

So give yourself permission "if you know what I know and feel what I feel" as spoken so well in by the Guy Fawkes character in "V",  to speak up when you know in your soul that what you are hearing from your poorly trained and undisciplined in their theological thinking and ego centric in their title taking ministry comes up with for you to swallow.  No more sitting on the outside but standing up on the inside.  Make the inside match the outside before it gets much more painful.

The mental, emotional and spiritual life you save may be your own and your kids will praise you in the gates.