Crackpot Prophet Digs Up Dibar Apartian

For a church movement that smugly brags it would rather celebrate a hill than ever celebrate a birthday (because pagan!!!), certain Armstrongist COG leaders positively salivate over commemorating the most riveting dates in COG history: the day the state stamped their church incorporation papers, the sacred long weekend they cracked open that moldy booklet for the 47th time at a summer camp, and, of course, the holy anniversary of the fever dream in which God Himself apparently whispered, “The Churches of God are doing great, but you know what they’re really missing? Yet another splinter run by a guy with a blog and a persecution complex.”

This time, the Greatest Prophet Ever to Grace the Churches of God With His Physical Presence™ (trademark pending) decided poor Dibar Apartian hadn’t suffered enough in the grave, so he exhumed the man’s comments, dusted them off, and ran them through the patented Thiel Scripture-Twister™ (now with 30% more confirmation bias!) to “prove” he had no choice but to courageously apostatize from the Living Church of God and found the One True Remnant™—population: him, his wife, a few Caucasians and some Africans. 

For years, the Living Church of God smiled through gritted teeth while Bwana Bob threw hourly tantrums about their “wrong doctrines” and “inaccurate information” (because nothing says spiritual maturity like a short little man whining on the internet that the big kids won’t listen to him). They kept patting him on the head in public like the awkward cousin at Thanksgiving, all while texting each other screenshots of his latest unhinged “prophetic” rants and laughing so hard they needed oxygen.

And just like how he “miraculously” turned Gaylyn Bonjour’s polite "blessing" into a divinely ordained double portion anointing, the Great Bwana has now performed the same linguistic equivalent of a pretzel factory explosion on Dibar Apartian’s words until they “clearly” say exactly what he needed them to say this news cycle.

Crackpot Bob is now desperately trying to retcon history so that Apartian looks like some cloak-and-dagger resistance fighter secretly undermining Rod Meredith, in the same way he insists Apartian single-handedly forced LCG’s magazines to publish his groundbreaking research and biblical interpretations. 

The man has spent decades absolutely fuming that first Worldwide, then Global, then Living all looked at his “impeccable” research, his “incontestable” corrections, and his entirely self-awarded credentials and collectively said, “Yeah… hard pass on ordaining Captain Tinfoil.” One former UCG minister summed it up best: the guy is “completely nuts.” But sure, Bob, clearly the problem is that every single church organization on the planet is blind to your towering genius.

Many members in LCG were unaware that Dibar Apartian had issues with LCG’s Tomorrow’s World magazine. He stated it lacked interest, depth, and relevance. In 2007 and 2008, he pushed Dr. Meredith to agree to have articles in it from me as he told me that my articles were what LCG needed. Dr. Meredith agreed, at least at that time. I agreed, but only under the provision that LCG would first fix errors in its booklet on church history. Although LCG, numerous times agreed to do that and told me numerous times that it was working on doing that, it never happened as various ones promised. The reality is that one of the top people did not want the magazine changed and prevented the booklet changes apparently as a reason to not have me submit articles. 

 

And the hits just keep coming from the One-Man Prophetic Extravaganza™.

Now Crackpot Bob is solemnly swearing up and down that Rod Meredith, on his deathbed no less, looked him square in the eye and declared, “Bob, my son, you are a prophet, yea verily, the prophetiest prophet who ever propheted.” 

How convenient that the only witness to this sacred moment is… checks notes… only Bob himself. Because nothing screams credibility like a private conversation with a dead man who can’t fact-check you. 

Everyone who actually knew Rod Meredith for more than five minutes is currently choking on their coffee, wondering if Bob mistakenly thought “You’re a prophet” sounds exactly like “Please stop sending me 40-page single-spaced emails about Mayan calendars and lukewarm Laodiceans.”

But sure, Bob, keep swinging that imaginary deathbed endorsement around like it’s the Ark of the Covenant. The rest of us will just be over here marveling at how you’ve turned “Rod once said ‘God bless you’ after I sneezed” into “clear biblical proof I’m the end-time Elijah.” Truly, the gift of creative hearing is strong with this one.

Dibar Apartian frequently used to urge me to try to get the other leaders in LCG to correct doctrinal, prophetic, and literature errors. Although I tried to get him to do more of that himself, he always instructed me to not only do that, but to remind other leaders in Charlotte to keep their promises to fix errors, literature, etc. 

 

But we did have an incident where he got quite angry with me. It was related to something that started on October 3, 2008 when Dr. Roderick C. Meredith (Presiding Evangelist of the Living Church of God) called me and said to me, “God may consider you to be a prophet.” Dr. Meredith and I discussed this in depth as Dr. Meredith was the one who brought the topic up. 

 

Oh, it gets even richer.

Even Dibar Apartian (yes, the same guy Bob just dug up like a theological gopher to prop up his latest fever dream) reportedly looked at Crackpot Bob one day, blinked twice, and realized he’d been bamboozled by a walking, talking Wikipedia page with a martyrdom complex.

According to people who were actually in the room (instead of, you know, channeling the conversation through a crystal ball and a persecution filter), Apartian eventually figured out that every time Bob opened his mouth, truth took the elevator down twenty floors and jumped out the window.

Word is, Apartian went from “mildly amused” to “Dear God, this man is an utter fraud” faster than you can say “double portion of delusion.”He supposedly warned others that Bob’s “research” was about as reliable as a chocolate teapot and that his “prophetic insights” had all the spiritual weight of a wet napkin.

But why let a little thing like the dead guy’s actual opinion stop the Bwana Bob Myth-Making Machine™?

Nah, just twist a couple of polite sentences, sprinkle in some posthumous fan fiction, and boom: Apartian is now retroactively Bob’s biggest cheerleader instead of the guy who quietly face-palmed every time Bob walked into headquarters with another 87-page “emergency correction” about why the church calendar was off by 0.3 seconds.

Dead men tell no tales… but apparently they do provide excellent ventriloquist dummies for narcissistic “prophets” with blog access.

Magnificent.

Later that month, my family and I went to the Feast of Tabernacles in Evian, France. The conversation with Dr. Meredith weighed on my mind, so I asked Dibar Apartian (who was the Feast site coordinator) and Dr. Jeff Fall (who was my pastor then, and who also attended there that year) to meet with me before services one morning. I told both of them about the conversation with Dr. Meredith. 

 

Upon hearing this, Dibar Apartian got upset. He told me that Dr. Meredith did not say such a thing and I assured him that he had. His emotions got the best of him and he stormed out of the meeting and I completed it by discussing what happened in more depth with Dr. Fall. 

 

A couple of days later, after Dibar Apartian calmed down, he came up to me and said that I was either “the one” to lead the Philadelphian remnant or the “biggest threat to the church.” He also came up to me shortly thereafter and told me how much he appreciated a sermonette I later gave during that Feast. 

 

And here comes the next jaw-dropping plot twist from the Thiel Cinematic Universe™!

After poor Dibar Apartian finally realized he’d been conned by a human PowerPoint presentation with delusions of grandeur, Crackpot Bob insists that—miracle of miracles—Apartian suddenly did a complete 180°, fell to his knees, and tearfully confessed, “Bob, I was blind! You truly ARE the end-time prophet I always secretly knew you were!” Yeah, sure, and jackasses sprout wings and start doing barrel rolls over the Sea of Galilee every Passover. Totally plausible.

Having failed to convince the living, Bob now pivots to slandering the dead. He’s gleefully telling anyone still listening that Apartian (the same Apartian who loyally stood by Rod Meredith for decades like a French bulldog with a PhD) was actually seething with secret resentment the whole time. 

Apparently Apartian spent his final years whispering to the potted plants about how Meredith was a spiritual lightweight and only Bwana Bob, the Mayo-Dipped Messiah™, understood True Truth™.

Bob needs this fictional feud like he needs oxygen, because nothing screams “God forced me to apostatize and start my own elite club” quite like inventing a dead guy’s diary entries that paint your former boss as the bad guy and yourself as the misunderstood hero.

It’s not enough that Apartian is dead and can’t sue for defamation; Bob has to drag the man’s reputation through the mud just to give his 2012 resignation letter a retroactive glow-up.

Stay classy, Prophet Profit. Stay classy.

It should be noted that Dibar Apartian had major issues with LCG in general and Dr. Meredith in particular. He had some warnings about LCG. And I was not the only one who knew this. Though since I left, various ordained leaders in LCG have spread falsehoods about me–but let me add that I do not believe that Gerald Weston knows the truth about what happened as my sources indicate he was told falsehoods that he has accepted–maybe one day he will learn-as the Bible warns, “Cursed is he who does the work of the Lord deceitfully” (Jeremiah 48:10). 

 

And the grand finale of this tragicomedy just keeps delivering.

Enter the Mysterious Backstabbing LCG Minister™ (name conveniently withheld because “sources” and “plausible deniability”). This anonymous hero allegedly pulled Bob aside one day and whispered the magic words that sent our humble prophet into orbit: “Bob, LCG is no longer God’s Church… only YOU can save us now.

Translation: someone poured jet fuel straight into Bwana Bob’s already planet-sized ego, and the resulting explosion registered on the Richter scale. 

Suddenly the voices in his head had a second opinion! Hallelujah, it’s a prophetic duo!

Of course, the prideful arrogance that had been simmering on low for decades finally boiled over like an unattended teapot, and even the endlessly patient Rod Meredith snapped. In a moment that now lives in COG infamy, Meredith publicly dressed down Captain Ego in front of God and everybody, basically telling him, “Sit down, shut up, and stop acting like you’re the fourth member of the Trinity.”

The public rebuke still burns Crackpot Bob’s backside to this very day; you can practically see the scorch marks every time he types another 9,000-word “dreams + anonymous sources + twisted quotes = I’m totally Elijah” manifesto.

To this day it absolutely frosts his cupcakes that the rest of us refuse to swoon over his fantastical fan-fiction used to justify the Great 2012 Apost-a-schism and the founding of the Continuing Continuing Continuing Church of God (Now With 37% More Persecution Complex!).

Sorry, Bob. Some of us prefer our history without the extra helping of delusional sprinkles.

Some have attempted to discount and discredit what happened between Dibar Apartian and myself, but what is reported here is true. 

 

In a post shown on the Banned by HWA site in March 2016, its webmaster Gary Leonard oddly posted the following: 

 

Several LCG asked me if I had any information on Dibar Apartian and his belief that LCG was no longer God’s church. This was posted in December of 2015. You can see it between snarky comments about Bob and his self righteous grandeous image he tries to portray of himself.

The only version of this story is coming from Bob Thiel when he tried to use it to smear Meredith whom he is angry with for refusing to listen to him. and incorporate changes he felt LCG needed. 

 

Gary Leonard then made some more attacks against me and included some information I posted.
Yet, if Gary had looked at certain comments at his own blog, he would have realized that I am not the only one to post comments related to Dibar Apartian’s views of the Living Church of God (and I posted none at Gary Leonard’s blog). 

 

Still seething from that public spanking Rod Meredith gave him years ago, Crackpot Bob dreamed up what he clearly thinks is his magnum opus: a 61-point manifesto triumphantly titled “Living Church of God: 61 Errors and Heresies (And Why Only I, The Great Bwana, Have 100% Pure, Uncut, 

Pharmaceutical-Grade Doctrine™).”Sixty-one! That’s one error for every year he’s been nursing that same bruised backside, apparently. 

The butthurt doth linger a longeth time, verily, even unto the third and fourth generation of blog posts.

According to the world’s foremost authority on everything (himself), LCG is now so hopelessly corrupt that only the improperly named  Continuing Church of God (headquarters: an itty-bitty storefront on Grover Beach, California) teaches the full, unvarnished, 100% certified-organic truth. No errors, no mistakes, no room for improvement; just pure, flawless, factory-sealed revelation straight from the mind of the end-time Elijah who totally wasn’t passed over for ordination three separate times because he’s “completely nuts.”

We all know that’s an industrial-strength lie, of course. Give it six months and he’ll be up to 83 errors, then 127, then a nice round 153 (one for every fish Jesus miraculously caught, naturally), because the list only ever grows in direct proportion to how ignored and irrelevant he feels that week.

So remember, folks: when your entire identity is built on being the only person in 2,000 years of church history who finally got everything exactly right, the butthurt truly doth linger a longeth time. Forever, actually. Until the next anonymous “source” tells him he’s also the second witness. 

UCG Says Members Need To "Upgrade" Their Sabbath Observance

 

UCG has an article from John Elliot on why the Sabbath is still commanded for UCG members, which ultimately leads to this comment about "upgrading" their observance standards and actions:

All humans are imperfect and we need to “upgrade” our Sabbath observance to fully keep it holy in accordance with both God’s original and His magnified commands. When we observe the Sabbath properly, it is a two-way sign identifying the true God and identifying His true children (Exodus 31:13-17).

Elliot seems to forget that the children of God are identified in a better way than through sabbath keeping. Their identity is secured in Christ, not in a day. Their rest is in Christ, not in a day when they turn on their TV's so they can sing along with Jelly about the Sabbath.

The Ten Commandments and all the Law remain in force today (Matthew 5:18). The Ten Commandments alone did not fully exemplify God’s mindset, nor did they completely codify God’s Law for the New Covenant saints. Consequently, Jesus came, in part, to “fill-full/magnify” them to their full spiritual intent (Matthew 5:17). 

 

Jewish leaders of His day were considered examples of obedience to the letter of the Law within their culture. But Jesus said that unless our righteousness exceeds theirs, we will not even be in God’s Kingdom (Matthew 5:20). From the President...

The seventh-day Sabbath was the covenant sign of the Mosaic Law given to national Israel. Christians are under the New Covenant, in which Christ is our rest (Matthew 11:28–30; Hebrews 4). We are free to honor any day (or no day) as special, but no day, including Saturday, is commanded or required. That is why the overwhelming majority of Christians throughout history and today do not treat the seventh-day Sabbath as binding. 

 

Pick and Choose - Keep and Ignore

 

Doug says Paul was referring to the Hebrew Scriptures when he spoke, because the Christian Scriptures (New Testament) had not been written yet. But then he turns around and says Paul teaches that we are to keep everything Scripture says in both the Old and New Testaments.

Which is it?

The fact of the matter is that LCG, like every other Church of God group, picks and chooses what it wants to keep and what it doesn’t. We’ve heard COG leaders and writers accuse mainstream Christians of doing exactly that for decades, yet not a single COG actually does everything Scripture commands. They claim the law is binding and must be kept, yet they selectively obey only the parts they want, while making convenient excuses for the commandments they choose not to follow.

Is the Old Testament Obsolete? 

 

Many Christians today believe that the Old Testament was for the Jews and the New Testament is for Christians. However, Jesus taught that we are to live “by every word of God” (Luke 4:4). The Apostle Paul wrote that “all Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). Paul was primarily referring to the Old Testament when he wrote these words—because the New Testament did not yet exist. When Jesus and the Apostles quoted scriptures, they quoted from the Old Testament. Paul also told Christians in Corinth that the Old Testament examples were “written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come” (1 Corinthians 10:1–11). He was clearly stating that we need to learn from the instructions and the examples in both the Old and New Testaments—which is why Jesus emphasized that we must live by “every word of God.”
Have a profitable Sabbath,
Douglas S. Winnail

Pamela Redd: Finding and Reclaiming Yourself - Black and Cultivated and Apostate Sisters Interviews

The book is a memoir by Pamela Redd that details her journey of self-discovery, personal recovery and identity rebuilding after being disfellowshipped from the Worldwide Church of God, formerly known as the Radio Church of God.

 

Only 3 more episodes left in Season 1 of Black and CULTivated. And the final eps are diving headfirst into my own cult, The Worldwide Church of God. ⛪️🚩 First up, Ms. Pam Redd, a brilliant educator and musician who attended WWCG from age 5 to adulthood. And chile, the stories she drops… 😳🔥 From meeting the church's leader Herbert W Armstrong and listening first hand to his racist ass sermons, to being disfellowshipped, — Pam does 👏🏾 not 👏🏾 hold 👏🏾 back. I’m so honored that she can use this platform to tell her story. 🖤 👉🏾 Link in bio to subscribe and catch all the final episodes! If you or someone you know has been affected by cult involvement and is seeking help, the following resources are available: Nikki G Speaks (Black owned religious trauma therapist) https://www.nikkigspeaks.com/ Dr. Dylesia Trauma therapist (Black owned) https://www.radicalchangetherapy.org/... Freedom of Mind https://freedomofmind.com/ Cult Education Institute https://culteducation.com/ Cult Awareness & Information Center https://web.archive.org/web/201706281... International Cultic Studies Association https://www.icsahome.com/ Cult Escape https://cult-escape.com/ Cult News 101 https://www.cultnews101.com/ Thank you for listening. / @blackandcultivated

USEFUL CHARTS: The Pacified and Pro-Roman Messiah Jesus and Gospel

 

 

About Matt Baker:

Matthew James Baker[ is a Canadian educator and designer who was born in 1975.[

In a YouTube video, Baker said that he was born into a family who were members of the Worldwide Church of God. He described the church as a cult and has since converted to Progressive Judaism.

In 2003, he cofounded Beacon Hill Academy, a non-profit school in Nuwara Eliya, Sri Lanka, where he had previously worked as a teacher. When he moved to Vancouver in 2009, he uploaded around 100 educational charts online covering various topics which earned him money through Google AdSense advertisements on his website. He later began selling physical posters on Amazon.com and was able to rely on income from the UsefulCharts business by 2011.

Baker has a PhD in education, with his dissertation titled "Psychological type and atheism: why some people are more likely than others to give up God."

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Dr Matt Baker addresses Joseph Atwill's Caesar's Messiah

Matt gives an honest and nicely balanced view on the topic of who or what created the pro-Roman, pacified Christianity, we find in the New Testament and Messiah Jesus after the defeat of militant Judaism and Christian zealotry and the Fall of Jerusalem in 70 CE. 

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Bonus From Useful Charts

Mandatory Belief: The "Or Else" of Faith

 

This was a billboard along the Interstate in South Carolina typical of the Southern Baptist mindset and motivator to accept Jesus. 

I personally, have always had a faith problem with forgiveness being impossible without the shedding of blood (Hebrews 9:22), redemption by execution and "I am the way, the truth and the light. No man comes unto the father but by me". (John 14:6)

If the Romans or whoever wrote the story of the pacified Jesus Messiah meant to make it uncomfortable to reject, they did it well. 

Sorry, that's just me

I don't believe anyone would argue that accepting Jesus, however one defines that, is an either/or else proposition.

There is no free will involved. You can only choose wrongly  if you do not choose rightly. There is only one right answer. 

Belief and acceptance of the story of Jesus as presented with all that can be questioned, doubted or suspect, is mandatory if one is to be on the right team.

Whether one accepts the theology of Jesus the first time or the second first time or after a good beating, there is no other way. 

"Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey" as I sang with gusto as a kid and yet it bothered me as well. Seemed risky and rather dictatorial with no good or any alternatives allowed. 

Belief in the story of Jesus, which must be accepted on faith, and the theology that follows from it is compulsary, mandatory, obligatory and required...OR ELSE.

No one on the planet will ever meet the Father God if they don't go through the Son God. 

The "Or Else" factor in mandatory belief and practice has always been the Biblical approach towards those less inclined to believe. 

Zechariah 14:16-21

 And it shall come to pass, that every one that is left of all the nations which came against Jerusalem shall even go up from year to year to worship the King, the Lord of hosts, and to keep the feast of tabernacles.

17 And it shall be, that whoso will not come up of all the families of the earth unto Jerusalem to worship the King, the Lord of hosts, even upon them shall be no rain.

18 And if the family of Egypt go not up, and come not, that have no rain; there shall be the plague, wherewith the Lord will smite the heathen that come not up to keep the feast of tabernacles.

19 This shall be the punishment of Egypt, and the punishment of all nations that come not up to keep the feast of tabernacles.

 

This is just one of my personal stuggles with Christianity and belief since when I first believed. 

Trust and Obey is always risky in human hands and compliance, or else,  is no reason to believe anything. 

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https://godliberationcathedral.org/posts/what-happens-if-you-fail-to-accept-jesus-christ

The Eternal Consequences of Rejecting Gods Gift of Salvation

"He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him." - John 3:36 (KJV)

 

The question what happens if you fail to accept Jesus Christ is one of eternal significance. It is not a question of religious preference or theological debate—it is a matter of life and death, heaven and hell, eternal blessing and eternal judgment.

The Bible provides clear, unambiguous answers to this crucial question, and every person must face it honestly before their time on earth ends.

Rejecting Jesus Christ means turning away from the greatest gift God has ever offered humanity: His grace, forgiveness, and salvation. It means refusing the only remedy for sin that God has provided. The stakes could not be higher, and the consequences could not be more serious.

This is not meant to frighten but to inform, for God has revealed these truths in His Word so that we might choose wisely and escape the judgment that awaits those who refuse His Son.

The Biblical Reality of Rejection

What happens if you fail to accept Jesus Christ? Scripture answers this question directly and repeatedly:

You Remain Under Gods Wrath

"He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him" (John 3:36, KJV). This verse reveals a sobering truth: those who refuse to believe in Jesus Christ remain under Gods wrath. They do not move from wrath to grace—they remain in the state of condemnation they were born into.

Gods wrath is not arbitrary anger or uncontrolled rage. It is His holy, righteous response to sin—His settled opposition to all that is evil and rebellious against Him.

Every person is born under this wrath because all have sinned and fallen short of Gods glory (Romans 3:23). The only escape from divine wrath is through Jesus Christ, who bore that wrath on our behalf. To reject Christ is to remain under the wrath you were born into.

You Will Not See Eternal Life

The same verse declares that those who do not believe in the Son "shall not see life". Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me" (John 14:6, KJV). There is no other way to eternal life except through Jesus Christ.

"Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved" (Acts 4:12, KJV).

Gods plan of salvation centers exclusively on Jesus Christ. No other religious leader, no other religious system, no amount of good works or moral improvement can save you. Christ alone is the Savior. To reject Him is to reject your only hope of eternal life.

You Remain Unforgiven

Without faith in Christ, your sins remain unforgiven. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9, KJV). But this forgiveness is only available through Jesus Christ, who died to pay the penalty for our sins.

"In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace" (Ephesians 1:7, KJV). Forgiveness comes through Christs blood shed on the cross. Those who reject Christ reject the only means of forgiveness God has provided. They remain guilty before God with no covering for their sins.

 The Exclusivity of Christ

Some find it offensive that Christianity claims Jesus is the only way to salvation. But this is not arrogance—it is what Jesus Himself taught. He said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me" (John 14:6). We did not invent this exclusive claim; Jesus made it Himself.

The Biblical Doctrine of Hell

What happens if you fail to accept Jesus Christ? Scripture teaches that those who die without Christ face eternal judgment in hell:

Hell is a Real Place

Jesus spoke more about hell than anyone else in Scripture. He described it as a place of eternal fire, darkness, weeping, and gnashing of teeth. "And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell" (Matthew 10:28, KJV).

"And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched" (Mark 9:43, KJV). Jesus describes hell as a fire that is never quenched—indicating eternal, unending suffering.

Hell Was Not Created for Humans

An important truth often overlooked: hell was not originally intended for human beings. "Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels" (Matthew 25:41, KJV). Hell was prepared for Satan and his fallen angels—not for people made in Gods image.

Humans go to hell only by rejecting the salvation God offers through Christ. God does not send people to hell capriciously—they choose hell by refusing the remedy He has provided. Every person who ends up in hell will be there because they rejected Gods gracious offer of salvation through Jesus Christ.

Eternal Separation from God

Hell is ultimately eternal separation from God and all His goodness. "Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power" (2 Thessalonians 1:9, KJV). Those in hell will be separated from Gods presence forever—cut off from all light, love, joy, peace, and every good thing.

This separation is eternal and irreversible. "And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal" (Matthew 25:46, KJV). The same word translated everlasting for punishment is used for eternal life. If eternal life lasts forever, so does eternal punishment. There is no second chance after death, no escape from hell once judgment is pronounced.

Conscious Eternal Suffering

Some attempt to soften the biblical doctrine of hell by suggesting annihilation—that unbelievers simply cease to exist. But Scripture teaches conscious, eternal suffering. Jesus described hell as a place where "their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched" (Mark 9:44, KJV). The rich man in Jesus' parable of Lazarus and the rich man was conscious and in torment in hell (Luke 16:19-31).

In Revelation, we read: "And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever" (Revelation 20:10, KJV). This is not annihilation but eternal, conscious torment.

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The remedy for doubt seems to be faith, which is belief without evidence and trust in the word of God, (Romans 10:17) which is what one doubted to begin with. Seems rather circular much like the Bible being true because it says it is true. 

BETRAYAL! Broken Promises, Satanic Attacks, Failed Ordination, Balaam's Wages, FIlthy Lucre, Plus A Topless Woman!

One would think that after decades of being marinated in the fragrant stew of Armstrongism and the Churches of God, absolutely nothing could still make us choke on our herbal teas and Postum "coffees". Fifteen years running this blog, plus all those glorious seasons assisting Gavin Rumney with his, and we’re supposedly unshockable. Bulletproof. Seen it all, from splintering splinters to apostles who think “Joshua the High Priest” is their personal cosplay. Yet somehow these people still manage to innovate new levels of ridiculous. Who knew the one true end-time church—restored with perfect government and doctrine straight from the throne of God Himself—could keep serving up fresh chaos like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet of dysfunction?

But of course it can. Because why wouldn’t it?

Enter stage left: Samuel Kitchen, self-appointed end-time restorer of the once-mighty Worldwide Church of God. In his noble, totally-not-delusional quest to resurrect the corpse of Herbert W.’s empire, Samuel will apparently try anything. Anything at all.

Cue the latest plot twist: a former minister and writer from David C. Pack’s traveling circus (you know, the Restored Church of God, where “restored” apparently means “we’ll change the prophecy timeline again next week while taking all of your money”) reaches out to Samuel. This gentleman, one Jonathan Dicen, expresses a burning desire to join the Great WCG Revival™. And because Dicen claims he was ordained back in the sacred days of the actual Worldwide Church of God, that’s apparently all the vetting Samuel needs. Credentials? Who needs ’em! Discernment? Never heard of her!

Naturally, Dicen graciously bestows upon Samuel the divine apostolic authority to start collecting tithes and offerings. Translation: “Hey kid, here’s a bucket, go shake down the widows for me.” Most of us smelled that scam from orbit, but Samuel? Samuel swallowed it whole and asked for seconds. Though, to his credit, he did hesitate… for about five seconds before accepting the sacred money-collecting mantle. Gotta save up for that glorious day when Aaron Dean finally sees the light, denounces UCG, and comes home to the one true remnant, right?

And then, in a shocking twist literally no one on planet Earth saw coming (except everyone), Dicen offered to ordain Samuel as a minister. Wow. Ordination via random ex-Packite on the internet. Truly, the biblical pattern was restored.

Fast-forward a few days. Satan, clearly bored and in need of entertainment, cranks the drama dial to eleven. Dicen announces he’s jumping ship to another group that’s willing to pay him better. Samuel is shocked—shocked!—to discover that loyalty in Armstrongism is negotiable when cash is involved. Betrayal! Treachery! How could this happen in God’s one true church?

As if that weren’t enough, the Devil personally launches a full-scale assault on poor Samuel’s health, landing him in the hospital multiple times in just a few days. Because obviously, when a shady ordination deal falls apart, the only logical explanation is that Satan himself is rattled by Samuel’s mighty work of restoration.

Truly, brethren, we’ve never seen anything like this before. Except literally every other week for the last forty years. 

Keep the faith, folks. Or whatever’s left of it after this latest episode.

Samuel writes:

ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Dear brethren,

When Jonathan Dicen, a minister in the Philippines, approached me, we talked about shared values, and how God says that “two cannot walk together unless they be in agreement”(Amos 3:3).

We had agreed we would walk together moving forward in Christ.

He told me he felt God was reviving the work of the Worldwide Church of God and he wanted to be a part of it, and revive the work there in the Philippines.

He also saw the need for tithes and offerings to be collected in accordance to God’s tithing law. I was not an ordained minister, so have not been able to receive nor handle any tithes and offerings, and Mr Dicen wanted to remedy that. So he “authorized” me to receive tithes and offerings. I published this authorization at his request.

Mr Dicen seems to me to be a very friendly man. I have chatted with him, and talked on the phone with him two times.

This last phone call, he relayed to me how he had been recontacted by another group, hired, and would be included in another group and he would no longer be joining with us and the Worldwide Church of God.

This broke his word to me. We had promised to walk together through thick and thin, through good times and bad times.

He was offered a “better payroll”, so he has decided to step away.  

 

In the Churches of God it’s never been about Jesus, prophecy, or owning church buildings—nope! It’s always been about the real god they truly worship: Money. Cash. Filthy lucre. Cold, hard tithe checks and offerings. 

Because nothing screams “Philadelphian love” quite like obsessively milking widows and poorer members while the ministry upgrades to a newer Lexus. Truly, the love of money isn’t the root of all evil in Armstrongism—it’s the entire tree, the orchard, and the gift shop at the entrance. 

Herbert himself taught us that the Work™ needed your money yesterday, and his spiritual heirs have been faithfully carrying on that sacred tradition ever since. Praise be to the Almighty Dollar—may its value never fluctuate before second and third tithe is due!

I removed my post on our website(worldwidechurchofgod.org) concerning Mr Dicen and tithes and offerings.

I am not surprised at how things came about, but I did step out in faith trusting and asking God to reveal to me who this man was, how trustworthy he is, and whether he is walking with God or not.

I announced his involvement, the authorization and expansion of the work into the Philippines, at his request. He wanted me to send him monthly money to help the work in the Philippines, and he also talked about ordination, as he said it would resolve many problems I have with detractors.

I am not interested in becoming a minister. God is in charge of that. I full support the true ministers, but please brethren beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing, who come along looking like ministers of righteousness.

This appears to been about money and payroll m, and Mr.Dicen accepted the better offer from another group, breaking his word with me, before God and Jesus Christ, and since it was made public it was set before the entire church(at least those who paid attention).

People warned Samuel that Dicen was not on the up and up, including his own brother Timothy. 

I held him accountable, but I also should not have announced his inclusion without finding more knowledge about him. But I did take to prayer when I originally posted, telling God that I can only take people for what they say, I cannot force them or coerce them to do what is right. But since Mr Dicen gave me his word, I held him accountable before everyone.

Now it is sad for me to say, he is no longer walking with us, and has broken his promise.

I trusted in Jesus Christ our head to make things known. He is in complete control of His Church. I trust people too much, but I also want to give people a chance to do the right thing. And so I may appear to be an easy mark, someone to be easily taken advantage of, but my focus is to look to Jesus Christ and be ready to respond zealously and fearlessly.

People can hurt me. I am used to it. I am just saddened to lose trust with someone I was so eager to build truth with, especially when someone comes to you claiming to be a fellow member and brother in Jesus Christ.

But prayers have been answered!!!!!  

 

Oh noes! 

Jonathan Dicen has officially been MARKED, disfellowshipped, and publicly severed from the one true Worldwide Church of God (restored edition, Samuel Kitchen proprietor)! 

Quick, someone sound the shofar and update the master spreadsheet—another dangerous heretic has been dramatically excommunicated from a church that consists of like nine people and a Facebook group! Truly a devastating blow to the Work™. 

How will the end-time restoration ever survive now that a random ex-Packite who lasted all of two weeks has been cast into the outer darkness? Brethren, avert your eyes! Do not even think about speaking to this man!

The Philadelphia remnant remains pure. 

And Jesus Christ INTERVEENED on our behalf as our Good Shepherd. And I now have to publicly sever full connection with Mr Jonathan Dicen.

His actions has caused doubt and confusion for those weak in the faith, and now I have to explain why he is no longer going to be with us.

He still wants me to come to the Philippines, to be ordained into the ministry. I respectfully decline. No. This was not of Jesus Christ! I am not seeking after an office in the ministry. And if Jesus Christ wants me ordained the job will get done by a man authorized by Jesus Christ. When one is so easily swayed by a paycheck, then hirelings hire hirelings. I’m not for sale.

While I appreciate the friendliness, I don’t appreciate the name of God being besmirched because one could not toe the line and not be swayed by balaam’s wages. How much is a red bowl of soup?

So please mark well, his separation. He does not desire it, but I will step forward and now announce it. He is no longer associated with us.

Que the Satanic attack: 

When he first came to me, I went to fast and pray about it. I came down sick and have been in and out of hospitals for the last 3-4 weeks!

It turns out problems that already existed was working against me, but the doctors couldn’t figure out why I was sick and near death’s door! Satan can spiritually CHARGE things where that is the only logical explanation for being that sick. It was keeping me from studying, from listening to sermons, from prayer on my knees as I was battling a fever all the time.

When I ended up in the hospital this last Friday, I couldn’t get church services listed on the website because I was away from my computer in a hospital bed, but I had time to sit up and pray and Bible study and I had a very rewarding Sabbath day! Now I am feeling much better, and now Satan seems to be withdrawing and fleeing. 

 

Note, Satan seems to be fleeing (praise be! miracles do happen!), but don’t pop the Manashevitz quit yet.

Cue the topless woman temptation, because obviously the Devil’s master plan to derail God’s one true end-time restoration involves... strategic nudity. Truly cutting-edge spiritual warfare. How will our brave Elijah-in-training ever resist the ancient and unbeatable snare of... checks notes... women's boobs? Quick, someone fetch the emergency anointing oil and a modestly sized bath towel! The fate of the entire Work™ hangs on whether Samuel can keep his eyes on the Kingdom instead of whatever Beelzebub just sent to his door.

Stay strong, soldier. You’ve survived hospital visits, betrayal by a money-hungry opportunist, and now this ultimate test. We always knew the final hurdle before the Wonderful World Tomorrow would be bare boobs. 

Classic Satan. 

So original.

My neighbor next door, banged on my front door this morning and when I opened she was topless, which I didn’t appreciate, and she began to tell me how loud the voices from my apartment was!

I was alone and I heard no such voices! I explained that maybe it was the tv.

She was stoned and high as a kite, but it seemed to be the cherry on top. Satan and his demons were attacking. I went back inside and began praying asking God to remove the demons, because they were stirring up my neighbors for the reason of possible expulsion from my apartment! That is the only reason i can see why such a thing was occurring to her. Now maybe she heard loud voices coming up from the apartment beneath hers thinking it was me, but she was inspired nevertheless to accuse me falsely of it. That is how demons work.

And now Christ has intervened and protected us from association with the wrong people. I’m sorry for getting hopes high. I had my hopes raised, because i have wanted the work to expand and expand with God’s good blessings. He will and HE IS, but in His own way and timing.

This experience has taught me something about some tactics Satan uses. I was already aware of them, but I wanted to believe this was not the case.

I trusted God and God came through in the end. Many people may cling to us along the way, we cannot judge them for wanting to be with us, but as soon as their fruits are born, we must stand with Jesus Christ.

So no I won’t be going to the Philippines. I won’t be ordained by Mr Dicen. I am rejecting the authority he said he “gave t me” concerning receiving tithes and offerings, but that was deceitful given in order for him to receive money through me. Please do NOT send me nor Me Dicen any tithes and offerings. If any arrive at my address, I will quickly return to sender.

Thank you for your prayers. It seemed too good to be true, but it shall not deter me from looking and trusting in Jesus Christ. Mr Dicen will be held accountable by Christ. Please pray for him, but please beware of him according to Bible command.

In Jesus Christ’s name

Samuel Kitchen 

 

And there you have it, folks—the latest thrilling installment in the never-ending soap opera that is Armstrongism in 2025.

A deluded, yet I think sincere “restorer” gets love-bombed by a mercenary ex-Pack minister, handed a tithe bucket, offered a mail-order ordination, then dramatically betrayed the moment a better paycheck appeared on the horizon. 

Cue the emergency disfellowshipping, the emergency hospital visits, and—of course—the emergency topless woman deployed personally by Satan to try and finish off the one true church.

Yet somehow, through it all, the Philadelphia remnant remains as pure, persecuted, and penniless as ever.

So fear not, dear readers. The end-time Work™ marches on—smaller, louder, and more absurd than ever. Satan may send his topless agents, his false ministers, and his mysterious illnesses, but he’ll never defeat the unassailable truth that God’s real church is wherever the last three diehards are still arguing about 1975 prophecy updates and who gets to keep the tithe envelope this week.

Until the next betrayal, the next “miraculous healing,” and the next emergency Facebook manifesto… keep the faith, protect your wallet, and for the love of all that is holy, stay clothed.