Look who's back—the Almighty's absolute favorite prophet, gracing us all with his endless symphony of whines about how he's just the most persecuted soul on the planet. Because, you know, in the entire annals of church history, no one has ever suffered quite like this pint-sized powerhouse and his merry band of followers. Truly, the agony he's enduring right now—and oh, the horrors yet to come—puts everything else to shame.
But hey, if this sniveling little turd really wants a masterclass in "real" Christian persecution, why not take a leisurely glance at Nigeria, Pakistan, Sudan, Egypt, Somalia, Libya, Eritrea, and Iraq, or any of those charming spots where actual believers are getting massacred by the thousands in just the past few weeks? Meanwhile, our pampered little devil's advocate lounges in his plush, impeccably decorated home in Arroyo Grande, CA, furiously hammering away at his keyboard like the forces of darkness are about to kick down his door and silence his oh-so-vital "ministry." How utterly terrifying.
It must take an impressive amount of brass balls for this phony, self-crowned newbie—who kicked off his tiny cult in a glorious tantrum against Rod Meredith and the Living Church of God—to play the persecution card while genuine Christians are out there getting butchered. No wonder absolutely nobody from the LCG or the Churches of God bothered to join his adorable little fan club. Those folks can spot a con artist and a me-me-me egomaniac from a mile away.
And sure, when the magnificent Great Bwana Bob finally leads by example, ditches his cozy setup, and jets off to Africa to preach like a "true" man of God, we'll all just drop everything and believe every word. Yeah, right—keep dreaming, champ.