Samuel Kitchen Solves His Fund Raising Issues So He Can Buy The Auditorium (and Maybe the Houses)

 

Searching the web

30 results

Oh, break out the holy tambourines and gather 'round the Sabbath table, folks—Samuel Kitchen has "released" a brand-new CD masterpiece that's sure to revolutionize Friday night family worship.

Featuring such irresistible earworms as:

As An Ambassador 

The Worldwide Church of God

Be Strong

The Golden Oil

Picture this glorious scene: 

You and your family huddled together after sunset, kicking off the Sabbath with heartfelt sing-alongs to these catchy tunes. Because nothing says "divine inspiration" quite like budget production values paired with lyrics about reclaiming long-lost auditoriums and restoring the one true church.

Who needs modern worship bands when you can have nostalgic hymns about Pasadena real estate dreams all beautifully sung by AI computers possessed by demons?

Who says God doesn't work in mysterious ways? 

Clearly, He saves His best chart-toppers for the guy single-handedly trying to buy back the Ambassador Auditorium one overpriced CD at a time. Move over, heavenly choirs—this is the soundtrack the end times have been waiting for.