Yes, while you're stuck rattling around in your itty-bitty dingy storefront, dreaming of African followers and radio spots, Samuel has boldly stepped up to claim the crown for sheer batshit craziness in today's fractured Armstrong world. UCG and COGWA love to pat themselves on the back as the "normal" ones—the sane, buttoned-up alternatives to the wilder outfits like Dave Pack's apocalyptic cash-grab or Gerald Flurry's mini-Pasadena cult compound. But let's be real: they're all cut from the same threadbare Herbert W. Armstrong cloth. Same doctrines, same authoritarian vibes, same endless splintering. Samuel's little reincarnated "mess" is just the latest flavor of the same old delusion, proving yet again that Armstrongism doesn't mellow with age—it just gets whackier, more paranoid, and more entertainingly detached from reality.
And oh boy, when you dive into Samuel's latest manifesto, the red flags start waving like they're at a parade. This guy isn't just quirky; something is profoundly not right here. He presents as this friendly, likable fellow—smiling in videos, posting songs, visiting "brethren" around the globe—but peel back that thin veneer, and there's a darker current swirling underneath: wild claims of CIA-orchestrated family murders to suppress his unincorporated "spiritual organism," complete with warnings from shadowy operatives, trademark battles in Tennessee, and a divine mandate to flee to Petra (oops, Jerusalem—wait, Petra again—wait, Philadelphia PA—wait, back to Jerusalem for a month-long vacay in 2025).
Apparently, his grandmother, mother, and father were all "murdered" in some grand conspiracy to kill off the real WCG before someone could snatch the name. But fear not—the Church persists because Matthew 16:18! And now, more "brethren" are standing up worldwide, proving this unincorporated ghost is alive and well. The solution? Naturally, rally the troops to buy back the Ambassador Auditorium (and maybe some adjacent buildings) to "restore" the Church, the ministry, and give God's name glory. Because nothing says "spiritual organism" like crowdfunding a multimillion-dollar concert hall from a group that currently operates it.
Look, if you're reading this and thinking, "Hey, maybe I should send Samuel some money to reclaim that shiny Pasadena relic," please have your head examined immediately. This is peak Armstrongism: mix equal parts narcissism, zero self-awareness, manipulative guilt-tripping ("You're lying, defaming, slandering the Church of the Living God! Repent!"), and a complete disregard for how trademarks, reality, or basic human empathy actually work. Calling the old WCG a "corporate entity" is apparently bearing false witness now, even though it literally was one before the big doctrinal meltdown.
So here's the sarcastic toast to the new front-runner: Congratulations, Samuel Kitchen—you've out-crazied the field. While Bwana Bob fades into obscurity with his end-time weather reports, you've elevated the game to full-on conspiracy-theorist opera. Keep those feast-site selfies coming from Petra/Jerusalem/wherever the spirit leads next. The rest of us will just sit back with popcorn, watching the "one true Church" restore itself one delusional fundraising plea at a time.
And to everyone else in COG-land: Maybe—just maybe—step back and ask if this endless parade of "true" churches, murdered-family backstories, and real-estate fantasies is really what God had in mind. Or if it's just more proof that when narcissism, lack of empathy, and manipulative personalities take the helm, you get exactly what we're seeing: shining examples of mental illness masquerading as divine restoration.
Copied, unedited.
There is a current problem with disgracing the Worldwide Church of God among these cog groups.
Many times a minister will say “The Worldwide Church of God is dead”, or “it was destroyed”.
They MISS-Classify “the Worldwide Church of God” as a corporate entity. It isnt. And some research into what Herbert W Armstrong taught can prove that. It is actually a spiritual organism!
But the misinformation said about this Church, is a regular defamation, of the character of the Unincorporated Association called the Worldwide Church of God.
When my family stood up as the Worldwide Church of God, we showed and provide sufficient evidence that an association was alive, and we were unincorporated.
Then other brethren saw us, and they too stood up, showing future evidence of this unincorporated spiritual organism.
My personal family, was struck by an attack, that killed the older members. My grandmother was murdered. My mother and the father was murdered.
Now, all evidence says the CIA did it.
One of their operatives prior to all of this happening, came up to my dad and warned him of what was coming down the pipeline. As far as I know, there is no need to question his warning, because it
came to be. Three members of my family were murdered.
I personally believe it was done with the intention of destroying the unincorporated association of the Worldwide Church of God. Because as we were beig hit, a man was filing in Tennessee a new trademark on the name! However his new trademark is not valid. The original usage is still alive. So it cannot conquer it while the original usage is alive.
But the Chuch persisted, according to Matthew 16:18.
And if we gave up because of the killing of my family, there were people primed to take it.
Now, more brethren are standing up around the world! Proving sufficient evidence of an unincorporated association.
That is why my declaration in 2022, is so important. I announced the Worldwide Church of God was assembling in Jerusalem to keep the Feasts of the Lord! We did keep the feasts but in PETRA!
We didn’t realize we had gathered ourselves to flee out from Jerusalem.Jeremiah 6:1
“O ye children of Benjamin, gather yourselves to flee out of the midst of Jerusalem”And so the next year 2023, I went to Philadelphia PA, for the feast and the new website was developed to showcase this unincorporated spiritual organism!
In 2024, I went back to Petra! And brethren was coming together around the world.
In 2025, We assembled in Jerusalem again. Staying an entire month there.
And so my point is, many are disgracing the Worldwide Church of God, by defamation, slander and libel.
This act of calling the Worldwide Church of God a corporate entity, when it is not, is bearing false witness. Telling a lie.
God’s Church does not lie. But by standing up and being the Worldwide Church of God, we are standing up as a witness.
We are the same Worldwide Church of God. And now we are looking to gain the Ambassador Auditorium, and according to some other houses and buildings next to it. We are looking to restore this Church, and to restore the ministry, and give God’s name GLORY!
Be not one of those who want to disgrace the Worldwide Church of God!
You are lying, defaming, slandering the Church of the Living God!
Repent. And believe God!"
14 comments:
Samuel is terribly confused. For 30+ years, HWA did the Work under the banner of the "Radio Church of God." The name "Worldwide Church of God" didn't arrive until 1968 when Stan Rader reorganized the church under that name for the purposes of his corporate registration schemes.
There was for a time an unincorporated entity known as the Radio Church of God. But there was never what Samuel calls "the unincorporated association of the Worldwide Church of God."
Whether he realizes it or not, Samuel's "Worldwide Church of God" efforts are all being done in the name of preserving the vision of Stan Rader, not of HWA.
Hmmmmmm……aarrrrrrrrrr……….hmmmmmmmm……..even my popcorn is starting to feel past its use by date. I heard it on the grapevine that Elvis will make a stunning reappearance in Jerusalem this year at the feast. Book your airline tickets now folks, unless the gasoline runs out lol. Talking about gasoline, I did fill up the car the other day and well ouch, that hurt. But back to reality and Armstrongism. Every passing day, week, month and year the hugely divided Armstrong movement just gets more bizarre. As with many ex wwcog folk, I still have friends caught up within its arms, sadly. Armstrongism is like a fruitcake that has become very mouldy and is rotting badly from within, and emits a bad odour.A far cry from the liberty we have in Jesus Christ. My hope is those still caught in its embrace with find true freedom. In the meantime this ‘show’ will continue and many will be hurt.
all evidence says the CIA did it.
Now Kitchen has become a sluthe to determine the nature of a giant conspiracy, Uncle Sam did it. Not to be surprised however as Armstrongism has thrived on conspiracies for its entire existence - and keeps on doing so.
wild claims of CIA-orchestrated family murders
No matter how crazy these religious fanatics are, the CIA is so unhinged that I would not dismiss any allegation about them out of hand.
Now that WWIII is here, it is time to go to the place of safety. Where can I buy a ticket? Who is selling them? Sam?
Isn't the CIA restricted to performing covert activities overseas? Don't they mostly "turn" people for the purpose of obtaining information? Not kill them, unless they are despots or murderous dictators?
If you are going to imitate HWA, you should also know the law. There have been conspiracy theories about the CIA having leveraged HWA for the antiAmerican prophecies he spewed over the radio waves during WW-II, but theoretically, he would only have been valuable to them as he travelled overseas. There have been questions regarding the funneling of huge amounts of money to the so-called Pirate Radio Stations off the coast of England, and nck has shared amazing tales based on the overseas flight log of the Gulfstream, as HWA shuttled about on his missions as Ambassador without portfolio.
Nobody has ever suggested that the CIA took out members of the church or ministers during the classic HWA era. Still, funny how receivership just kind of went away. HWA and his pets were were grossly guilty of fiduciary misconduct, and losing badly, and then the wave of the political wand, and Fantasma!
BB
Sam won't be selling any sceptics a ticket as we have been disqualified long ago, only the Herbert supporter be allowed in. This is the price we pay for being deceived and arrogant.
Garner Ted himself bitterly complained in the 1990's he was 'set up by the FBI' in his sexual scandal downfall which sounded as bizarre then as it does now.
Also Herbert Armstrong had enough money in 1948, on his tour of Europe, to be considering purchasing the same properties as A Lister, World famous Hollywood multi-millionaires bought.
BB said “Isn't the CIA restricted to performing covert activities overseas? Don't they mostly ‘turn’ people for the purpose of obtaining information? Not kill them, unless they are despots or murderous dictators?”
You really believe that BB?! "Restricted on paper" means nothing—their record proves it with assassinations disguised as suicides/natural causes, plus coups at home and abroad. Don’t be so naive.
The Garner Ted seemed to be always blaming other things - enemies in Pasadena for his removal from WCG, “Satan’s attack” , then as you say blaming the FBI. Why FBI would even care about a smallish church seeking to be a clone of wcg he never explained.
I was investigated by the FBI at age 19. I was going through the procedures necessary to be recognized as a conscientious objector, and agents called on and questioned my references, visited the high school from which I had graduated, and interviewed those whom I had asked to write letters. This took place at a time when I was an introvert, and really didn't want bunches of people knowing my business.
Aw gee whiz! You mean I don't even get a pass because I was rebuttaling a Kook??? You must not be one of the good guys! No chocolate bunny rabbit for you.
BB
That would have been a stressful time for sure. . Amazed agents even had the time as likely there were many objectors. Friend of mine volunteered and was killed by an anti personnel mine.
Oh alright BB, I’ll let it pass this time, but only because I’m feeling generous. So consider it your "Passover pardon." And that’s OK—I don’t like chocolate bunnies anyway. I’m more of a dark‑ops espresso man myself.
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