After 3½ Years of Tribulation, Bob and His Itty-Bitty Law-Enforcement Squad Will Finally Whip You Into Loving the Rules — No Elections Needed!

Herbert Armstrong’s “New Covenant”: Divine Dictatorship, Celestial Nepotism, and Why Bob Thiel Is Still Pretending It Makes Sense in 2026

God’s favorite crackpot is back. Bob Thiel, head of the tiny and improperly named "Continuing" Church of God splinter, has once again dusted off Herbert W. Armstrong’s dusty pamphlets to warn us that America (and the rest of the world, but mostly America) is about to endure 3½ years of hell so that, at the end of it, he and his microscopic band of law-enforcers can finally whip the survivors into shape. Then everyone will live happily ever after under “the New Covenant.”

Wait until you see what Armstrong actually called the New Covenant. It’s the kind of theological slop that makes you wonder why Armstrongism talks about it so rarely — because once you read it, the whole edifice starts looking like a cosmic HOA run by immortal busybodies who never got over being mocked due to Crackpot Bob's silly utterances.

Here’s Armstrong in his own words, from Tomorrow…What It Will Be Like (and repeated in Mystery of the Ages):

It will not be man’s government over man. Man has proven his utter incapability of ruling himself. 

It will be Divine Government — the Government of God. 

It will not be government from the bottom up. 

The people will have no votes. 

It will not be government of or by the people — but it will be government for the people. 

It will be government from the top (God Almighty) down.

There will be no election campaigns. No campaign fund-raising dinners. No dirty political campaigns…

No human will be given any government office. 

All in government service will then be Divine Spirit beings, in the Kingdom of God — the God Family.

All officials will be appointed — and by the Divine Christ, who reads and knows men’s hearts…

There will then be two kinds of beings on earth — humans, being ruled by those made divine. 

Some resurrected saints will rule over ten cities, some over five…

And then Herbert's definition of  the New Covenant:

What Is the New Covenant? 

In short, under the new Covenant which Christ is coming to usher in, what we shall see on earth is happiness, peace, abundance, and justice for all. Did you ever read just what this New Covenant will consist of? Did you suppose it will do away with God’s Law? Exactly the opposite. “For this is the covenant that Christ is coming to establish, you’ll read in Hebrews 8:10; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts…” 

 

When God’s Laws are in our hearts — when we love God’s ways, and in our hearts want to live by them, human nature will be put under subjection — people will want to live the Way that is the cause of peace, happiness, abundance, joyful well-being! 

 

But remember, the humans remaining on the earth after Christ’s return — ruled then by Christ and those resurrected or changed to immortality — will themselves still have human nature. They will be still unconverted. 

 

But Christ and the governing Kingdom of God, then set up as the Governing Family, will bring about the coming utopia by two basic courses of action. 

 

1) All crime, and organized rebellion will be put down by force — Divine supernatural force.

2) Christ will then set His hand to reeducate and to save or spiritually convert the world.

Let that sink in.

According to Armstrong, the New Covenant is not primarily about Christ’s once-for-all sacrifice, the indwelling Holy Spirit, or the forgiveness of sins through faith. No, no. It’s about setting up a post-apocalyptic theocracy where:

• Dead people who got the resurrection upgrade become your unelected, immortal bosses (along with true Philadelphian COG members).
• They “read your heart” like some kind of divine HR department with X-ray vision.
• You, the surviving mortal, still have the same sinful human nature Armstrong spent decades railing against.
• But don’t worry — the laws will be magically written on your heart so you’ll want to obey… while the immortals stand ready with “divine supernatural force” to crush any organized rebellion.

The continuation of the passage (which Thiel’s site also loves to quote) makes it even clearer: 

Christ and the saints will bring about utopia by two basic courses of action — (1) put down all crime and rebellion by divine force, and (2) re-educate everyone in God’s way. 

 

So the New Covenant, in this telling, is basically “We’ll beat the sin out of you until you love the rules.” Or, if that fails, the resurrected saints who rule over ten cities will handle it.

The actual New Covenant, as described in Jeremiah 31 and explained at length in Hebrews 8–10, is already in effect. It is not something Christ is “coming to establish” after a future tribulation. It was established by His blood on the cross. It is an internal transformation by the Holy Spirit for those who believe — not an external enforcement regime run by glorified humans lording it over unconverted mortals. The writer of Hebrews spends chapters showing how the New Covenant is superior precisely because it does not rely on the old system of external law and human (or even angelic) mediators in the same way.

Armstrong took a beautiful promise of heart-level change and turned it into a justification for a two-tier society: the immortal ruling class and the mortal peasant class who still need the rod of iron (Revelation 2:27, 12:5, 19:15) applied when necessary.

And he had the gall to call this the New Covenant.

Armstrong insists humans will still have human nature and be unconverted after Christ returns. Yet the New Covenant is supposedly writing God’s laws on their hearts so thoroughly that they’ll love righteousness.

If the laws are truly written on the heart by the Spirit, why do you still need immortal stormtroopers ready to use “divine supernatural force” against rebellion? If people still have unconverted human nature, how exactly are the laws “written in their hearts”? It’s theological whiplash. Armstrong wanted to keep his favorite doctrines (Sabbath, holy days, tithing, British-Israelism, the “government of God” hierarchy) while also claiming the New Covenant. So he just redefined the New Covenant as “the Millennium, but with extra law enforcement and resurrected middle managers.”

This is where it gets truly pathetic. Bob Thiel didn’t invent this stuff. He inherited a broken theological framework from a man who declared himself the end-time Elijah, built a personality cult, predicted the end of the world multiple times, and died in 1986 while his church promptly abandoned most of his distinctive teachings.

Instead of admitting that Armstrong’s eschatology was a house of cards built on proof-texting and British-Israel fan fiction, Thiel and his microscopic following treat every Armstrong pamphlet like holy writ. They repost this 1970s-era fever dream about immortal city-managers reading your heart and suppressing rebellion with supernatural force, and they call it “prophecy.”

It’s not prophecy. It’s nostalgia for a cult that promised its members they would be the ones ruling over ten cities while everyone else groveled. It’s the ultimate power fantasy dressed up in biblical language: “One day we will be the ones with all the authority and no one will be allowed to vote against us.”

The New Covenant was never about creating a permanent underclass of mortals ruled by an immortal elite. That’s just what happens when you let a radio preacher from the 1930s–80s rewrite the Bible to match his authoritarian personality and his followers’ desire to feel special.

So yes — it’s no wonder Armstrongism is “filled with ignorance on the topic.” 

They don’t talk much about the actual New Covenant because doing so would expose how thoroughly they’ve mangled it to preserve their own little theocratic daydream.

Bob Thiel can keep quoting the slop if he wants. The rest of us will stick with the version where the New Covenant is about grace, the Spirit, and a kingdom that doesn’t require resurrected bureaucrats to read your mind and decide whether you get to rule five cities or zero. 

That one actually sounds like good news. Armstrong’s version just sounds like hell.

Justification: Armstrongism’s Legalistic Distortion vs. the Freedom of the New Covenant

 

The governor’s words in the old Worldwide Church of God article still resonate: 

 

I know that you are guilty… but I believe that you are truly sorry… Therefore, I hereby pardon you… You now have a new lease on life.

It is a beautiful picture of justification — God declaring a guilty sinner righteous. Yet the article that follows, titled Justification: Your New Lease on Life (1986/87), takes this powerful biblical truth and subtly distorts it. 

While it uses much of the right language — grace, faith, and imputed righteousness — it ultimately adds conditions that turn the “new lease on life” into something far more fragile and human-dependent than Scripture teaches.

This is the heart of the problem with Armstrongism’s teaching on justification.

The article correctly states that justification involves forgiveness and the imputation of righteousness. It quotes key verses such as:

• Romans 3:28 — “a man is justified by faith apart from the deeds of the law.”
• Galatians 2:16 — “a man is not justified by the works of the law.”
• Ephesians 2:8 — “by grace… through faith.”

However, it immediately qualifies these truths with significant additions:

• Justification “requires repentance and keeping God’s law.”
• Sins are “finally forgiven” and justification occurs only at baptism.
• God “continues to justify” a person only as long as they strive to obey.
• Disobedience “can and will disqualify you.”
• It cites Romans 2:13 (“the doers of the law will be justified”) and Romans 3:31 to insist that law-keeping remains necessary.

In short, the article presents justification as the beginning of a process that depends on continued human effort — especially baptism and ongoing observance of “God’s law” (in the Armstrongist context, this included the Sabbath, holy days, tithing, and other Old Testament requirements).

Scripture presents a very different reality.Under the New Covenant established by Jesus’ blood (Jeremiah 31:31-34; Hebrews 8:6-13), justification is God’s one-time forensic declaration that a sinner is righteous. This declaration rests entirely on the finished work of Christ — His perfect life and atoning death — which is credited (imputed) to the believer.Key biblical truths include:

• Justification is by faith alone, apart from works of the law (Romans 3:28; Galatians 2:16; Romans 4:5).
• It is a completed act, not an ongoing process. “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God” (Romans 5:1).
• The believer’s standing is secure in Christ. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). True believers persevere because God preserves them (John 10:28-29; Philippians 1:6).
• Good works and obedience are the fruit of justification, never the root or the condition for maintaining it (Ephesians 2:10; James 2:14-26 explains that genuine faith produces works as evidence).

Under the New Covenant, the law is written on the heart by the Holy Spirit. Believers are not under the Mosaic Law as a system for righteousness (Romans 6:14; Galatians 5:18). The ceremonial and civil aspects of the Old Covenant are fulfilled in Christ (Colossians 2:14-17; Hebrews 7–10).

1. Baptism becomes a required work for justification

The article claims justification occurs only at baptism. Scripture teaches that justification happens the moment a person believes the gospel (Romans 5:1). Baptism is a command and a beautiful public declaration of faith, but it is not the instrument of justification. Cornelius and his household received the Holy Spirit (clear evidence of acceptance by God) before they were baptized (Acts 10:44-48).

2. Law-keeping is reintroduced as necessary

While the article quotes verses saying we are not justified by the law, it then insists we must keep “God’s law” or risk disqualification. This directly contradicts the New Covenant. Adding law-keeping as a requirement for right standing with God is the very error Paul confronted in Galatians: “You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law” (Galatians 5:4).

3. Justification is made conditional and ongoing

By teaching that God “continues to justify” only those who strive to obey and that disobedience can disqualify a person, the article blurs justification with sanctification and undermines assurance. In the New Covenant, justification is a past completed reality. Ongoing sin is dealt with through confession and Christ’s advocacy (1 John 1:9; 2:1), but the justified person’s legal standing before God remains secure.

4. Confusion between justification and sanctification

Armstrongism often treated these as overlapping or even interchangeable. Scripture keeps them distinct: 

• Justification = declared righteous (instant, by faith). 
• Sanctification = being made righteous in practice (progressive, by the Spirit).

5. Misuse of key passages

Romans 2:13 (“doers of the law will be justified”) is part of Paul’s argument showing that no one actually keeps the law perfectly — therefore everyone needs the righteousness that comes by faith (see the flow into Romans 3). Romans 3:31 (“we establish the law”) means the gospel upholds the law’s purpose, not that Christians must keep the Mosaic system for justification. 

 

The difference is not merely academic. Armstrongism’s view creates a religion of fear and performance. The “new lease on life” becomes something you can lose through insufficient obedience. The gospel of grace is subtly turned into a mixture of grace plus human effort.

The New Covenant offers something far better:

A complete pardon.

A perfect righteousness credited to your account.

A secure standing before God.

And the Holy Spirit who writes God’s law on your heart so that obedience flows from love, not fear.

The governor in the illustration offered a pardon based on his belief in the prisoner’s change of heart. In the gospel, God offers something infinitely greater — He offers the perfect righteousness of His Son, received by faith alone.

That is the true “new lease on life.”

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  Ephesians 2:8-9

The cross stands as the dividing line. On one side lies the heavy burden of law-keeping and conditional acceptance. On the other stands the finished work of Christ and the freedom of being justified by faith alone.

Choose the New Covenant. Rest in the finished work of Jesus. That is where the true new lease on life is found.

Updated image with the correction applied:The left side now correctly reads:
Law-Keeping
Baptism
Works
ObedienceThis better reflects the burden of additional requirements highlighted in the Armstrongist view of justification. The image is now ready to use with the article.

The Philadelphia Era’s Hostage Crisis: One Man’s Desperate Attempt to Keep the Old WCG on Life Support

 

Let’s be honest: Samuel Kitchen’s latest outburst isn’t theology. It’s a hostage negotiation with God over a dead corpse.

According to Kitchen, the Worldwide Church of God (the actual corporation) must still exist as a living, breathing organization. Why? Because Revelation 3:10 and 12:13-17 supposedly require it. If the old WCG isn’t around to be protected in a literal “place of safety” for 3½ years, then Jesus Christ is a liar.  That’s not faith. That’s putting God in a headlock and saying, “Fulfill my preferred end-times fan-fiction or else your reputation is toast.”

The problem is simple history: the Worldwide Church of God was dissolved and transformed decades ago. After Herbert W. Armstrong died in 1986, the organization under new leadership abandoned most of the distinctive Armstrong doctrines and eventually became Grace Communion International. The original entity no longer exists. The various splinter groups that formed afterward (UCG, LCG, PCG, etc.) all claim to be the “true continuation” while accusing each other of being Laodicean sellouts.  Kitchen’s solution to this inconvenient reality? Declare that the spiritual “organism” is still the old organization, that anyone who left is demon-infested, and that using archives or websites to study old teachings is basically spiritual adultery.  It’s a remarkably efficient way to keep people terrified of independent thought.

Kitchen warns that when people leave “the Church,” they become empty houses that demons immediately move into. They start twisting Scripture, rejecting truth, and — horror of horrors — thinking for themselves using old booklets and websites.

This is classic high-control group rhetoric. It turns normal Christian freedom into a horror movie. Under this logic, reading an old Herbert Armstrong article without a current minister’s permission is the spiritual equivalent of leaving your front door wide open with a “Demons Welcome” sign.

Meanwhile, the New Covenant quietly offers something far less dramatic: the Holy Spirit is given directly to believers. No headquarters stamp required. No fear that opening an old PDF will summon dark forces. Just grace, truth, and direct access to God through Christ.

Kitchen insists Jesus built one Church and that every splinter group is man-made while the original WCG was purely divine.  This is convenient amnesia. Every single splinter group says the exact same thing about all the others. They all trace their legitimacy back to the same man and the same organization. The New Testament, however, never describes the Church as a single centralized corporation that must remain under one human lineage to stay valid. It describes believers in various cities, local elders, and unity based on the gospel — not on loyalty to a 20th-century American religious franchise.

The idea that God’s entire end-time plan hinges on whether a particular religious corporation from the 1930s–1980s still has the same name and structure on paper is… creative, to put it mildly.

The part that clearly bothers Kitchen most is the existence of archives, websites, and even AI tools that let people access old WCG teachings without current ministerial oversight. He calls this “robbing God” and accuses those who provide the material of being Antichrist.

Why the rage? Because once people can read the material, compare it to Scripture, and decide for themselves, the spell of total organizational dependence starts to break. Fear loses its grip when people realize they can study without permission.

The New Covenant is actually quite rude to this kind of control. It suggests that the law is now written on hearts, that believers have direct access to God, and that maturity comes from the Spirit — not from staying inside the correct membership list.

Kitchen’s entire argument boils down to this:

God can only protect His people and keep His promises if the exact religious organization I like is still functioning the way it did in 1985. If you disagree, you’re calling Jesus a liar and probably housing demons.

It’s impressive how much fear, circular reasoning, and organizational idolatry can be packed into one rant.

The New Covenant offers a refreshingly different deal: 

Christ is sufficient. 

The Church is His body — not a particular corporate charter. Protection and relationship with God don’t require you to keep a dead organization on life support or live in constant fear that reading an old booklet will get you demonically evicted.

You can leave a human organization without leaving Christ.

You can study new teachings without demons moving in.

And you can believe Jesus without demanding that He keep a 20th-century religious corporation alive just to make one man’s prophecy timeline work.

That might sound terrifying to someone invested in the old system.  To everyone else, it sounds like freedom.