The Dance

 

Time at the Schwarzschild Radius (A cinematic depiction of a black hole - Fair Use)

 “At the still point of the turning world…At the still point, there the dance is, where past and future are gathered…Except for the point, the still point, There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.”   - T.S. Eliott from his poem “Burnt Norton”

The Dance

By Scout

God is not a neat package.  At least to human reason.  If he were, the lives of theologians would not be blighted with so much controversy.  I hold to the Nicene view of God, as interpreted in classical theology, but I must admit that the Nicene view has both strong points and weak points.  By “weak” I mean concepts that seem a little theoretical and exploratory rather than unassailable. I have also been a sharp critic of the Armstrongist view of God which strikes me as an alarming excursus into all-out anthropomorphism.  

How much can we, as created beings, know about the uncreated God in his essence?  Not much, really.  God meets us in metaphor.  Usually, he presents himself in scripture using anthropomorphic terms.  We, on the other hand, use what we know from the created realm to try to describe him.  Our efforts can result in nothing more than unintended poetry. 

There is the school of thought that we should read what God has provided as a description of himself in the Bible and ask no further questions.  Then there is the view of analytic theology that advances the idea that if the Bible leaves a topic unstated then we should put on our finest philosophical dressage and develop the topic ourselves.  While I am a proponent of the latter view, I know it to be fraught with uncertainty.  Analytic theology is midrash in discussion of the gray zones rather than the inspiration of incontrovertible truth.  And at this point we must join with faith.  What I am trying to ease into saying is that there are now neo-classical theologians on the land who are starting to sound like they have had a passing tryst with the Armstrongist Doctrine of God.  I will cite an example. 

God as Temporal, For Instance

There are now some theologians, followers of neo-classical theology, with reputable backgrounds that believe that God exists in time.  They don’t go the complex route to establish this.  They simply say that if God did this, and then this and then that, he had to be following a chronological sequence.  He is temporal just as we are, they assert. If God creates then he begins to do the activity of creation.  And this occasions both intrinsic and extrinsic changes to God.  That is because to create something is to act and then after the creation God is different.  He is now someone who owns and interacts with a Cosmos, for instance.  This means God is not immutable as in classical theology.  

Neo-classicists also point out that there is a time constraint on cause and effect.  Cause must come before effect.  The word “before” is one of those troublesome prepositions that comes out of the created realm.  It has a spatial meaning.  What it actually means in this context is that on the continuum of time, first the cause happens and then the effect happens.  God causes things to happen; therefore, he must be “in” time.  Then there is logic.  “If it is a horse, then it is an animal.”  The proposition does not make sense unless it is ordered in time sequence.  Ordered thought for us humans happens in a succession of moments.  The neo-classicists have a talking point.  And if they have a talking point, so do the Armstrongists. 

God as Atemporal

I believe that God is timeless.  Note that this is an apophatic statement.  It tells us what God is not.  God is not in time.   My statement does not do much to define positively what God actually is.  What drives me towards atemporality is that time is a part of the created Cosmos.  It responds, for instance, to gravity.  As gravity increases, time slows.  At the Schwarzschild horizon of a black hole, time almost stops.  If spaghettification of your body did not happen, you could live there almost forever although it would seem like to you to be a normal lifespan.  Your feet are younger than you head because they are closer to the earth’s gravity-generating mass. God would not be dependent on something that he created.  (God, of course, is not dependent on anything.) If he created time, then time had a beginning but God has no beginning so God existed prior to time.  I am not sure how neo-classicists or Armstrongists handle this issue.  I heard a neo-classicist talk about it but I cannot say that I understood what he said.  Something like the statement that time does not run slower under intense gravity, just the mechanical clock runs slower.  Physicists don’t seem to believe that.  

Logic may seem to require chronological flow of propositions but it can be static.  It does not have to be represented as an argument flowing in time.  It can be represented by Venn diagrams.  As for cause and effect happening in chronological sequence, that is a conundrum.  I keep coming up with the idea that God knows all causes and all effects already and the act of creation means that he exposes something already known to him forever to our purview.  He doesn’t really innovate at all in the act of creation.  For the software engineers among you, God instantiates classes, methods, data types and parameters that are already known to him.  But then the neo-classicists can argue that instantiation itself is done in the succession of moments – in time.  I would have to look beyond these arguments for a resolution. Later in this essay I will look to Jesus. 

There is also a mathematic problem.   If the eternal God experiences reality as a series of moments, that means his past is infinite. If we represent the present moment as p then the next moment is p+1 and the previous moment was p-1.  The subtraction of moments moves us backwards in time mathematically.  For an eternal being who lives in a succession of moments, time goes backwards forever.  We would never, ever quit subtracting moments. No matter how much subtraction we do the p-1 term would always exist. If God is locked in an infinite past, how does he ever reach the present or the future (The Infinite Delay Argument.)  In brief, an infinite series of moments in time as required by temporality is not a meaningful description of God’s eternity.  The arithmetic of infinity does not serve us well here. 

Someone told me once that Herman Hoeh believed that time is motion – an Aristotelian idea.  I have never seen this view in writing in WCG literature.  I don’t think time is motion directly.  I believe in the “A Theory” of time (there is also a B Theory).  Solely because it most closely matches my experience and intuition.  You will have to look the A Theory up. There isn’t enough time for it in this little essay.  In brief, I believe God creates the present. The present is all that we know.  The past is gone and the future has not come into existence yet. Theory A says that reality is only the present.  Like T.S. Elliott wrote.  So, my view is that God creates reality in sequence, moment by moment.  Time is not motion but motion is the real product of God’s action of moment-by-moment creation.  Time is smoothly continuous because God’s creation of reality is smoothly continuous.  If God decided not to create the next moment, reality would simply disappear.  We would not die.  We would just vanish. 

Armstrongism and Neo-classical Theology

Armstrongism lacks a well-developed theology.  Armstrongists have done a little to organize the ideas that HWA left them.  Armstrongism could use the help of the neo-classicists.  The neo-classicists believe that God is temporal.  They also believe that God is not a simple being, that is, lacking subordinate parts.  This resonates with Armstrongism. I recall an Armstrongist minister stating that God had a heart.  But one pulpit statement from someone trained at Ambassador College doesn’t make an integrated doctrine.  A neo-classicist that is prominent in the media is Dr. Ryan T. Mullins trained at St. Andrews University in Scotland.  It might be a good idea for some Armstrongists to look into his ideas rather than simply deal in the pontifications of HWA or spend their time churning prophecy.  I have read some of Mullin’s material but I am still trying to figure out what he believes.  I think it would be good if Armstrongists were to leave the bunker and study some of these things and thereby gain depth in their theology.  

Jesus is the Key

The data that Jesus left with us points to a different way of engaging with the Cosmos.  He did not define that modality fully but gave us an event that points us in the right direction.  The event is the Ascension.   Jesus ascended bodily in the view of many witnesses.  The witnesses were early church members.  They saw him rise up into the sky.  But that kind of bodily locomotion doesn’t cut it for moving around the Cosmos of the size that Jesus himself created.  I think the visible ascension into the sky was done for dramatic effect.  It wasn’t technically the way the resurrected Jesus travelled.  

If Jesus were “in time” and moving at a speed where he was visible to the human eye, where would he be right now in his ascension progress – maybe somewhere between earth and Alpha Centauri which is only 4.357 light years away?  And if he were moving near or at the speed of light he would undergo time dilation.  Time would pass much faster for us than him. This would result in a mismatch between our experience of time and his experience of time. If Jesus were bound by time and space, a day trip to the Third Heaven at divine speed might mean the passage of trillions of years for us earthlings.  

The simple fact is that the speed of light is not fast enough for someone who needs to move around the Cosmos.  The Cosmos is way too large.  And, even so, an object with mass moving near the speed of light experiences infinite time dilation so that time effectively stops compared to an earthbound observer.  Did the body of the resurrected Jesus have mass?  That is an interesting question.  Doubting Thomas felt Jesus and whatever Jesus was made of it gave resistance to Thomas’ hand. 

Living and moving in time and space is clearly not useful for a resurrected human being like Jesus.  It is too constraining for the mode in which Jesus, as God, operates.  Jesus could not have ascended to heaven in such an environment in any reasonable time.  The neo-classicists can say that God experiences another kind of time and not our constraining form of time – something else that gives him a succession of moments.  But why not just say that he isn’t in time.  And what we know as time is just an analog of how God chooses to order events.  We already understand that he knows the future or predictive prophecy would not exist.  God may organize time anyway he wants whenever he wants to do it.  He is not bound by time.  We also know that he does not have a one-track mind.  Our minds are pretty much one-track.  God can listen to millions of people pray and follow each prayer perfectly while also sustaining the Cosmos. While that still requires a succession of moments, the point is, God may think in very different ways than we can imagine, including in a non-linear, timeless way.  It is not God who is constrained but our imaginations.

So, if you, like me, believe that you must consult the Book of God’s Works as well as the Book of God’s Words to gain an understanding of anything, then the idea of a temporal God collapses. And the Nicene brothers were right. But I will read about it more.

Surprised by God – a Probable Conclusion

I believe there is much about God that we will never understand.  Maybe God in simplicity is time rather than existing in time.  Maybe what we know as time in the Cosmos is an imitation of his personal essence somehow.  I am at peace with the idea that I do not know what God’s actual relationship to time is. And I may never know no matter how smart God may make me one day.  God told Moses, “I am that I am.”  God has ultimate and unrestricted free will. Perhaps, when the truth outs, it will be a big surprise.  It will not be about time but some other alternative we never considered. God is what he is.  Moses just had to get over it.  Some conjectures make more sense than others.  But they are still conjectures.  Maybe we will just have to get over it. 

Will You Obey God And Give Money To Buy The Auditorium Or Will You Spit In His Face?

This Auditorium saga just keeps getting weirder by the nanosecond!

Now our boy Samuel has apparently upgraded himself to Modern-Day Joshua Vr 3.0—you know, the guy through whom God is obviously continuing His Very Important Work. Poor Bob Thiel must be absolutely seething right now. After all, he’s spent years insisting that he and he alone is the One True Joshua of our time. But hey, this is the Church of God we're talking about—there's always room for multiple self-appointed Joshuas. And let's be real: there will always be enough gullible souls to mail in their checks for whichever version is currently shouting the loudest.

Joshua Samuel is now solemnly informing the brethren that if you don't cough up your resources, you're straight-up robbing God (shocker). Not only that, but you're now personally eligible for the deluxe curses-and-blessings combo package. And just to make sure the fear is properly dialed up before Passover: if you don't give, you're taking the Passover unworthily, which apparently triggers a separate, extra-spicy curse layered right on top of the first one. Double jeopardy, Church of God style.

With Passover barreling toward us like a freight train full of guilt, we're clearly supposed to picture Joshua Samuel leading the chosen few into the Promised Land—like Joshua of old right after Moses had his own little wilderness tantrum that somehow ticked God off (classic COG sequel plot). He's here to guide the faithful remnant to the sacred House of God, where they will bask in everlasting bliss… until, naturally, the Germans roll up, gaze upon its magnificence, decide it's too pretty to bomb, and promptly convert it into their new U.S. invasion headquarters. (And before you think I'm making that last part up—nah, that was a straight-faced, decades-long Pasadena campus urban legend in certain COG circles. Never change, brethren.)

So this Passover season is going to be a real test, dear brethren. A double test, actually, if you happen to be one of the stingy ones who didn't send in your “tithe to avoid extra curses” payment. Fail to give, and congratulations—you’ve just RSVP’d to the End-Time Plagues VIP section, where one-third of humanity gets to enjoy the festivities firsthand.

The choice is crystal clear:

Are you going to obey God…

Or are you going to spit in His face?

Tick tock. Your offering envelopes had better still be open.

-----------------------------

Joshua Samuel writes (unedited):

This is saying, in order to receive God’s protection here is your test.

Now is laid upon you blessings or cursings.

If you receive cursings, you have not sent God’s tithes and offerings in.

God’s blessing is with obeying Him!

Not disobeying Him!

I am announcing to you God’s will.

It’s up to you whether you will surrender to Jesus Christ or not!

And also if you go and take the Passover “unworthily” not properly discerning the Lord’s Body, you have another curse upon your head. This is about where God is working and through whom.

The Passover and Unleavened bread season for the children of Israel, after the forty years in the wilderness, was about establishing Joshua as the new leader. Through whom God continued to work though as with Moses.

This season will test you. Will you reap blessings or curses?

This too reflects the children of Israel when Moses came back to Egypt after 40 years, and they had to decide to Obey God or suffer the curses of God aka the plagues. Those who obeyed God made it through and was spared and delivered from the hand of Pharaoh, which pictures Satan the Devil the devourer. Just like Rahab in Jericho.

What will you do brethren? Will you obey God or spit at Him? You’re choice! You have been warned!

In Jesus Christ’s name,

Samuel W Kitchen

The Supreme Sin: Not Funding God's Luxury Concert Hall (A Masterclass in Spiritual Blackmail)

God is in the house!

The Supreme Sin: Not Funding God's Luxury Concert Hall (A Masterclass in Spiritual Blackmail)

In the grand tradition of televangelist fundraising letters that could double as extortion notes, Herbert W. Armstrong's June 29, 1969, missive from 39,000 feet (because nothing says humility like dictating theology from a plane) drops the ultimate bombshell: What is the WORST, most TERRIBLE sin imaginable?

Spoiler: It's not murder, adultery, or even idolatry in the classic golden-calf sense. No, the SUPREME sin, the one that severs you from EVERYTHING GOOD, from the SOURCE OF ALL GOOD, from INHERITING and SHARING with God ALL THAT HE HAS, is... failing to cough up extra cash for the EXTRA SPECIAL BUILDING FUND to construct Ambassador Auditorium.

Yes, brethren, the Almighty—who created galaxies, oceans, and every blade of grass—apparently can't bear the indignity of not having a multimillion-dollar, acoustically perfect concert hall on the Pasadena campus. Because nothing screams "spiritual priority" like equating skipped TV dinners with eternal damnation.

Armstrong masterfully redefines idolatry for the modern age: It's not bowing to wooden statues. It's the horror of excessive TV viewing, enjoying the wrong kind of shows, reading wrong material, or—gasp—pursuing MATERIAL things! (You know, like food, shelter, or college funds for your kids.) These are the false gods threatening your soul. But the real clincher? Putting any of that ahead of YOUR PART in honoring God with this EXTRA SPECIAL BUILDING FUND.

Never mind your regular tithes (those are non-negotiable for keeping the Gospel Work charging forward worldwide). Never mind the additional offerings God supposedly demands for the regular ministry. The BUILDING FUND must be EXTRA—on top of everything else. Don't you dare reallocate; that's basically telling God His new marble palace isn't worth skimping on your family's groceries.

In a stroke of humble genius, Armstrong casually mentions he's increasing his own monthly special offering (again), and he's been faithfully pouring in since the fund began years earlier. Subtext: If a man in his 70s flying private can sacrifice, why can't you lowly wage slaves?

The math is airtight: Two years prior, the faithful ponied up $150,000 a month for other buildings. Now membership's grown by nearly 50%! So $200,000 per month is totally doable—IF YOUR HEARTS ARE RIGHT WITH GOD, IF you stop idolizing your pathetic desires, and IF you're willing to let banks and insurance companies finance the rest (because God helps those who help themselves... with loans).

Fail to hit the target? Armstrong will simply lose heart. (The emotional stakes! The drama!) Unlike those poor saps in David's day who lacked the Holy Spirit, our response will prove whether we have it. No pressure.

But don't worry—he's not heartless. Many of you "simply are not able." God understands. Armstrong understands. Just make sure enough of the able ones are willing. Pray about it. He'll know by the total haul.

And that P.S.? Pure gold: Send your non-binding "statement of intention" NOW, or he can't authorize groundbreaking. No one should give what they can't afford or harm family (perish the thought!), but you should be willing to SACRIFICE non-essentials. Use WISDOM! Pray for judgment!

The auditorium—eventually built in the early 1970s at a cost reportedly around $7–11 million (roughly $50 million+ in today's dollars, funded by the sacrificial "extra" offerings of the faithful)—became the "Carnegie Hall of the West," hosting Sinatra, Pavarotti, and more. It was sold off decades later amid church upheavals, now listed for $45 million.

So remember, brethren: The path to salvation isn't faith alone. It's faith plus tithing plus additional offerings plus extra-extra for God's vanity project. Skip that last one, and you're basically cutting yourself off from ALL THAT GOD HAS.

What a beautiful gospel. Pass the special yellow envelope—eternity's price tag just went up.

------------

The quote from Herbert Armstrong's letter, that Samuel posted, expecting church members to give to his vanity project, the very same building Samuel Kitchen believes he has the right to buy. 

What, then, is the WORST, most TERRIBLE sin?

It is that which cuts you off from EVERYTHING GOOD — FROM THE SOURCE OF ALL GOOD — from the God from whom ALL good comes — from INHERITING and SHARING with God ALL THAT HE HAS!

The SUPREME sin is to lose the supreme BLESSING — to be CUT OFF from GOD! The most AWFUL sin is to have another god before Him! And nearly every-body in this sick, polluted, unhappy world is worshipping other gods!

They may not be literally bowing down before an idol made of wood, stone, gold or other material. But devoting themselves to PLEASURE: to excessive TV viewing, to "enjoying" the wrong kind of TV diet: to filling the mind with FILTH in front of the TV set, or reading material of a wrong kind; to MATERIAL pursuits and interests; to material things!

Could it be that EVEN YOU are putting some of these things ahead of HIM — or ahead of YOUR PART in HONORING our God with this EXTRA SPECIAL BUILDING FUND — or ahead of YOUR PART In HIS GOSPEL WORK? As I write this letter I am INCREASING my own personal monthly SPECIAL OFFERING for the Building Fund. I have increased it before. And I have never stopped putting in this SPECIAL OFFERING since the Building Fund first began, several years ago.

Meanwhile, the WORK OF GOD must continue to GO FORTH with INCREASING POWER, WORLDWIDE! Your TITHES must go for that — your first tithe, that is. God calls on all of us to make ADDITIONAL offerings regularly FOR HIS GOSPEL WORK. What we give for the BUILDING FUND must be EXTRA, in addition to ALL THAT! It must not come out of the REGULAR offerings and tithes.

Brethren, I KNOW we can finance this HOUSE FOR GOD, if we allow God to make our hearts willing. Two years ago we were able to contribute $150,000 per month to the BUILDING FUND for other buildings! There are almost half again MORE OF US now! We CAN contribute $200,000 per month to this EXTRA SPECIAL FUND — IF OUR HEARTS ARE RIGHT WITH GOD — IF we really DO not put other false "gods" or interests, or desires, ahead of HIM! And IF we can put in $200,000 per month, with the financing big banks and insurance companies are willing to make available to us, WE CAN START BREAKING GROUND THIS AUTUMN!

If we fail, — well, I'm simply going to lose heart! Those people in David's day did not have God's HOLY SPIRIT. Our response to this appeal will show whether WE have! We can do it IF WE ARE WILLING!

ARE YOU WILLING, according as God has prospered you? I know too well, many of you simply are not able. God understands that, and so do I. But ENOUGH of us are ABLE — IF willing! Are you PRAYING? I will know by the over-all answer.

Brethren, I think we are going to break ground very soon on that beautiful building!

With love, in Jesus' name,

Herbert W. Armstrong

P.S. If you did not send in your statement of intention, IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO NOW. I cannot authorize this work to proceed unless the statements of intention mount up to $200,000 per month. It does not bind you — but lets me know whether we can go ahead. I do not want any to give what you are not able, or to harm yourself or family. But we should be willing to SACRIFICE and GIVE UP things we planned to do or buy if they are not necessary. We should use WISDOM! PRAY for wisdom and good judgment.

"All I ask is for the people of God to obey God and to bring what is HIS to his storehouse"

 

The Kitchen family has once again proven beyond any shadow of a doubt that they are exactly like every other slithering COG snake slithering through the weeds of Armstrongism. Shocker of the century, right? This entire circus isn't about shepherding the flock, feeding the spiritually hungry, or humbly serving the brethren in any meaningful way or even buying an auditorium. No, no—it's all about money, cold hard cash, the almighty dollar (or check, preferably made out directly to one specific person). 

Samuel Kitchen, that paragon of third-generation "true church" purity, is now dusting off the book of Haggai like it's the hottest new money-making playbook straight from the divine accounting department. Members are apparently supposed to obediently drag every last tithe, offering, spare dime, and probably their kitchen sinks too, straight to "God's storehouse"—which, in a plot twist no one saw coming (except literally everyone who's been paying attention), has miraculously relocated to the rolling cornfields of Iowa. Because nothing screams "divinely appointed headquarters" like a quiet Midwestern town far from the prying eyes of... well, anyone asking inconvenient questions.

All those endless COG splinter groups—each one birthed in a blaze of "God's government" drama and righteous indignation—were never genuinely about caring for the brethren, correcting wrongs, or restoring some pristine "truth once delivered." It was always a glorified vacuum cleaner operation: suck up as much third-tithe money, festival tithe of the tithe money, first tithe, building fund "love offerings," emergency excess second-tithe scraps, and whatever loose change falls out of grandma's purse, all so the self-appointed leaders could keep their lifestyles comfortably insulated from the harsh realities of, you know, actual work or accountability. Private jets? Lavish homes?  College campuses? Auditoriums? "Modest" ministerial perks that would make a televangelist blush.

And let's be crystal clear: Samuel wasn't exactly standing on a mountaintop begging the brethren to send their hard-earned tithes directly to the Almighty in some ethereal spiritual transaction. Oh heavens no—that would be far too... biblical. Instead, he's politely (or not-so-politely) requesting that those checks be cut straight to him, personally, Samuel W. Kitchen, resident prophet-administrator-CEO of the One True Storehouse in Keosauqua or Coralville or wherever the divine GPS is pointing this week. Why? So he can buy another glittering monument to pomposity—because truly, what better way to demonstrate Christ-like humility and "poor in spirit" vibes than by owning the personal shrine to his earthly god (Herbert Armstrong), bankrolled entirely by the gullible faithful who still believe the "work" needs their widow's mite to limp along? 

Nothing says "God's true servant" quite like turning Malachi 3 into a personal building fund.

Truly inspiring stuff. If only the original apostles had thought to incorporate and reroute all donations to their own names—think of the cathedrals we could have had by now.

God says that whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all of your might.  

 

And when God says to do something, why can’t we do it? If God gives us something why not obtain it and hold it? 

 

Do we fear God or not? 

 

This won’t be achieved by power or might BUT BY THE HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD. 

 

But I am fully confident in the Word of God, who says do it! Work! God says! For I am with you!

So let us WORK towards this goal, to give glory to the name of God, and to unite in one cause, and as one people, one church. Why do men love it when the enemies trash what God gives? Now when we can restore it, why hesitate? Why let Satan hinder us?

All I ask is for the people of God to obey God and to bring what is HIS to his storehouse. And when Haggai talks about the seed in the barn, that is like the ark and the 8 people. Noah and his family were commanded to build “an ark” a physical ark, something for the mind and hands to do in service of the Lord our God. Everyone laughed but they didn’t laugh when God moved ahead with His plans.

Let us go to God in prayer and fasting. Let us obey God. Let us not neglect our job as members of the spiritual temple.

WCG Iowa Setting Up Council of Elders To Be Ready For Aaron Dean To Step In Once The Ambassador Auditorium Is Purchased.

By the time Samuel is able to buy the auditorium, 

Germany will have destroyed the United States

The self-proclaimed remnant of the one true church strikes again, this time with a manifesto so drenched in delusion it could water the entire old AC Pasadena campus dicondra lawns. In a recent missive that reads like a mix of Herbert W. Armstrong's old co-worker letters and a particularly feverish Reddit post from r/EndTimesPrepper, Samuel Kitchen has declared his intention to single-handedly resurrect the Advisory Council of Elders, purchase the Ambassador Auditorium (currently listed at a cool $45 million, because why not aim high when God's check is in the mail), and apparently kick off the final end-time drama with a Zoom call and a group fast.

Let's unpack this masterpiece of wishful ecclesiastical thinking.

First, the Advisory Council of Elders. For those who forgot (or mercifully blocked out) the 1980s WCG org chart, this was Herbert Armstrong's hand-picked group of yes-men evangelists who existed to "advise" the apostle while he did whatever he wanted. It was dissolved, reformed, ignored, and eventually rendered irrelevant as the church splintered into a thousand tiny fiefdoms after HWA's death. Now, Kitchen informs us that only one original member remains: Aaron Dean, the longtime aide to Armstrong who now serves in the United Church of God and has spent decades politely declining to play along with every self-appointed restorer who calls him up.

Kitchen's plan? Chat with Dean about appointing six more "faithful and loyal" men—all guys proven loyal to "Christ’s apostle" (spoiler: that's code for dead Herb, not some vague New Testament figure). These paragons will Zoom weekly (or more!) to steer the good ship Worldwide Church of God back on track. Dean might say no, but Kitchen hopes he won't—because nothing says divine authority like hoping your one living link to the golden age doesn't hang up on you.

But wait, there's more grandeur! As the miraculous purchase fund inches toward $45 million (any day now, surely), Kitchen calls for a massive scavenger hunt: gather every dusty tape, yellowed booklet, scrap of mimeographed sermon notes, and forgotten VHS from the 1970s. Build a shrine-library in the Auditorium, digitize it all, and launch a "monthly refresher program" to... refresh people? Presumably with the exact same doctrines that led to the original church's doctrinal "upset" in the '90s, which everyone else moved on from.

To seal the deal, Kitchen drops a biblical proof-text barrage straight out of the Armstrong playbook: Isaiah 4's "seven women" clinging to one man (obviously the tiny faithful remnant), Zerubbabel as the end-time builder figure (with seven eyes, naturally), the Branch (Jesus, but channeled through a modern type), cornerstones, crowns that won't fade, Philadelphia elect, place of safety, two witnesses on deck—the full eschatological bingo card.

In Kitchen's telling, this isn't just nostalgia; it's prophecy fulfillment. The "day of small things" isn't a humble beginning—it's his current operation, complete with a handful of supporters, Gmail addresses, and dreams of reclaiming a concert hall that hasn't been WCG property since before most millennials were born. God will provide the laborers, the funds, the tapes, and presumably the Zoom Pro subscription.

One can almost picture the scene: six loyal appointees blinking at their screens, Aaron Dean wondering how he got dragged into this, and Kitchen presiding over the council like a budget HWA, declaring victory as the donation jar hits four figures. Meanwhile, the actual Ambassador Auditorium sits on the market, waiting for a real buyer—perhaps a symphony orchestra or a megachurch that can afford the utilities—while the "remnant" sanctifies their fast and refreshes their browser for new PayPal notifications.

Truly, in the multitude of (Zoom) council there is... entertainment. If nothing else, this bold revival plan reminds us why "safety in a multitude" was always more slogan than reality in the old WCG: when the multitude is one guy emailing Aaron Dean, it's less safety net and more prayer chain with extra steps.

Hold fast to that crown, brethren. Preferably the one that doesn't involve a $45 million real estate flip.

Samuel writes (unedited):

I want to revive the Advisory Council of Elders. There is safety is a multitude of council.

The only one left from the original Advisory Council of Elders is Aaron Dean.

I’m going to talk to him, about appointing another six men, all men who have proven themselves faithful and loyal to Christ’s apostle, and who are willing to work with me to get the Worldwide Church of God back on the right track.

Perhaps he wouldn’t want to be involved, I hope he does want to be involved.

I would like weekly meetings, or more, via zoom etc as we move forward. Mr Dean has the experience of knowing who would best serve in this Advisory Council of Elders. As everyone comes away from heading their separate directions, I do believe we all need to sanctify a fast together and everyone in God’s Chuch participate.

Also as we grow closer to the purchase price of Ambassador Auditorium, I will need help gather tapes, original books, publications, videos, everything the church produced down to scraps of paper saved! I want a thorough library and archives, so we can install it in the Ambassador Auditorium. I would also want it all produced online, working complementary to the physical collection.

I would also want to set up, upon purchase, a monthly refresher program.

Now this is a huge undertaking. But if we pray about it, and take it to God, asking God for the laborers God will provide.

I want to also point out Isaiah 4.

“And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.”(verse 1)

These seven, are with Zerubbabel!

“For who hath despised the day of small things? for they shall rejoice, and shall see the plummet in the hand of Zerubbabel with those seven; they are the eyes of the Lord, which run to and fro through the whole earth.”

Isaiah 4:2

“In that day shall the branch of the Lord be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the earth shall be excellent and comely for them that are escaped of Israel.”

In Zechariah 3:8-9 we read: “Hear now, O Joshua the high priest, thou, and thy fellows that sit before thee: for they are men wondered at: for, behold, I will bring forth my servant the Branch.

“For behold the stone that I have laid before Joshua; upon one stone shall be seven eyes: behold, I will engrave the graving thereof, saith the Lord of hosts, and I will remove the iniquity of that land in one day.”

Jesus Christ is THE BRANCH.

Isaiah 28:16 “Therefore thus saith the Lord God, Behold, I lay in Zion for a foundation a stone, a tried stone, a precious corner stone, a sure foundation: he that believeth shall not make haste.”

This foundation stone is the cornerstone, which is Jesus Christ!

That cornerstone is brought forth by a Zerubbabel figure, and layed before Joshua.

Speaking of Isaiah 4:2, we also have Isaiah 28:5, which reads: “In that day shall the Lord of hosts be for a crown of glory, and for a diadem of beauty, unto the residue of his people”.

In Revelation 3:11, we read “Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.”

And in 1 Peter 5:4 we read “And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away.”

This is talking about God’s Philadelphia elect coming together, and the two witnesses being set up, and the elect going into a place of safety.