Dave Pack/RCG: Blind faithfulness that abandons critical thinking is a doom spiral

 

Certain Uncertainty

There is one certain thing about David C. Pack: He is uncertain.

The wanna-be/hafta-be apostle, inept prophetic guru, and theological yarn-spinner vacillates between having “an avalanche of proof” about the date for the arrival of the Kingdom of God one week, but then dismantles his own theories the next.

The Pastor General of The Restored Church of God was certain his understanding of the unicorn date of Abib 24 (April 10) was God-inspired during “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 628),” given on March 21, 2026, but became certain of his uncertainty during Part 629.

Part 629 – March 28, 2026
@ 26:38 Abib 24 is impossible. And now we can put it to bed, and we can start talking about are we waiting for three and a half days to Passover?

What took him two hours to preach during Part 628 was dismantled in seconds during Part 629. This triggered the Part 628 Regret-O-Meter bigtime.

Dave whined like a little schoolgirl about how hard his self-assigned job is, while again blaming the Jews for his biblical blunder. The irony of his using multi-sided dice as a visual aid for how challenging prophecy is was lost on him. I cannot help but wonder if this was Bradford Schleifer winking at us.

“The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 629)," given on March 28, 2026, is peak Dave Uncertainty. The Pastor General was Mister Wishy-Washy, Mister Maybe-Maybe Not, and Mister I Dunno in one wrapper.

One moment summarized the heart, spirit, and tone of Part 629. It is certain to make you chuckle.

@ 1:04:48 And and then you hope you can figure it out. If he knew, he'd tell you. It's pretty obvious that I don't know, or I'd be telling you. Or if I or I do know, but I'm not yet ready to tell you. I guess you could see it either way. I don't wanna tell you which it is. I may not know. I may know. I've thought I knew before.

That is a stellar example of WCG Ambassador College's preaching skills in action.

Tell them what you might tell them. Kinda tell them maybe sorta, I guess. Express your doubts about what you may or may not have told them if they wanna see it that way, perhaps.

David C. Pack is certainly uncertain throughout Part 629. Members in the Main Hall at Headquarters must have been wondering why he would even bother to preach if he was so uncertain about so much.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The tone of a sermon is often set within the first few minutes. The brethren of The Restored Church of God certainly felt the same dread I used to when Dave would introduce doubts up front.

@ 02:31 Well, we have Abib 24 in hand. It's right, or it's not.

In times past, I knew that was to point at which to set my pen down. The rest of the sermon was just like that, but worse because it took him one hour and 49 minutes to build to a stunning conclusion:

@ 1:47:58 I’ma just tell ya what I think. I have big doubts about Passover, but it's a very real possibility. I have big doubts about it.

Those bookends encapsulate what members are subjected to week after week after week. And they pay this guy to do that. He studies the Bible all week just to preach uncertainty on the Sabbath.

@ 04:28 Two enormous problems drove last week's position, where we where we went to Abib 24. They got resolved, and we're gonna talk about them.

That is Packian-speak for "I'm gonna throw out what I just preached." But someone has to accept the blame.

@ 19:17 And the unicorn date we talked about last week became the 24th. Why? Because the Jews said so. And they have a wonderful track record of getting nothing right. That's the beauty of ‘em. They get nothing right.

In my mind’s eye, I can see Brad at the back of the hall subtly smirking and shaking his head when Dave blurts out unintentional comedy like this.

The exquisite irony that pours forth from David C. Pack’s mouth is astonishing perfection. From his own lips, he has said. God has a sense of humor and is a fan of irony. Dave’s ears cannot hear what Dave’s mouth says. The fatty hubris mass within his skull cannot tolerate self-awareness because it would have a devastating effect on the candy glass walls of his delusion.

Nobody at Headquarters would dare ask, “Mr. Pack, how is your track record?” That person would be certain to know they would be escorted off the property post haste.

For those who wonder if David C. Pack’s certain uncertainty is just a colorful exaggeration, this archive of accurate quotes stands as a witness to who speaks the truth.

@ 27:10 Because it could be Passover, or maybe we’ll see, no, it's not.

@ 29:43 So, you see how what as I study, I'm conflicted. Now, I'm I’m not really conflicted anymore…

@ 55:08 …and they overlay the seven Days of Unleavened Bread. I am not saying, and this where they [chuckles – plays with dice] you could they they move, and you try to figure out, “Wow, that would mean it’s Passover.” It would mean it could be. Or it could be a different seven days. Now, I hope you find this very interesting because I'm taking you deeply into why this was complicated for so long. For so, so long.

@ 1:04:08 Did you think, “Oh, that’s Passover?” Or did you think it could be? Certainly could be. This has been my challenge for a long time, on when God is gonna act.

@ 1:05:21 I'm trying to help you understand. Get ready for Passover, what we're covering. Wanna say it again. Because it could be Passover, and it may not be.

Why RCG members should never take David C. Pack seriously in 3…2…1…

@ 1:31:50 We wondered if the 1335 back there was the date. Then is it Abib 1? Is it Abib 3? Then my next question in the back of my mind, is it Abib 10? I I could I could I could just take a sidebar right now and spend two hours telling you why it looks like it could be Abib 10.

Just like he spent two hours telling them it was Abib 24 the week prior. Abib 24 was a unicorn date that was revealed to him by God, and he had an avalanche of proof to support it. Ponder that.

David C. Pack cannot discern between God’s inspiration
and his own imagination. That should sober
every member in The Restored Church of God.

The theme of certain uncertainty was carried from beginning to end. No topic was spared.

The theme of certain uncertainty was carried from beginning to end. No topic was spared.

@ 1:46:49 There’s an entirely different way to mark the 1335 days that we’ve never once discussed, and I’m pretty sure it’s right. It’s either now over ten days ago. Or we haven’t even gotten to it.

@ 1:48:37 You could ask, “Why would God have us go through all the preparation and all the messages and so forth, and we don't keep it?” [chuckles] …Maybe it's just to test our faithfulness to see if we will.

Right. This is what the brethren of The Restored Church of God need more of, since they have been needlessly suffering continuous uncertainty since August 30, 2013: Testing their faithfulness.

Blind faithfulness that abandons critical thinking is a doom spiral.

David C. Pack is an incompetent, blaspheming, hypocritical liar, false prophet, false apostle, false teacher, theological nincompoop, ineffective speaker, biblical fraud, religious charlatan, covetous thief, and notorious faith breaker. All of that is certain.

@ 1:48:57 So, it’s important to prepare for Passover. And we did. …and we'll know in three and a half days. But I have pretty big doubts, and I wanna leave those with you because you'll prepare and run through the tape in case the tape is further out by some little bit.

The brethren who seek the finish line tape will certainly come to understand it is further out by a lot. So far out that David C. Pack and those who worship him shall never see it in this lifetime.

All these doubts and uncertainties did not stop Dave from dropping a single hint of where they are heading next: Iyar 1 (April 17, 2026).

@ 26:09 The chag that Israel kept, the unicorn date we may be waiting was surely the next Sabbath of Iyar 1.Which, by the way, again, was not just a Sabbath, it was a new moon, and would make it really a chag. A double season of refreshing, if you will. I’m not saying that’s the date. But if it is the date, we ought to know which date we’re waiting for.

After he officially announces Iyar 1 as the unicorn date, there will be a sense of more certain uncertainty.

After 142 failures, it is hard to feel any empathy for the brethren of The Restored Church of God. David C. Pack needs to keep cranking out new dates just over the horizon to continue the impression of growth and better understanding.

One thing is certain: No one should feel uncertain about the perpetual failure of David C. Pack and the deceptive treachery of those who support him.

Marc Cebrian

See: Certain Uncertainty

Who Can Keep the Most Obscure Old Covenant Rules While Claiming Everyone Else Is Apostate?

Many members of the Church of God just wrapped up another thrilling observance of the Days of Unleavened Bread, complete with two or three mandatory days off squeezed into the week. Meanwhile, fearless leader Wade Cox has once again blessed his followers with the privilege of taking eight full days off work — just like the good old days of the Worldwide Church of God. And don’t worry, the fun isn’t over yet: another glorious nine or ten days off will be required for the Feast of Tabernacles. How thoughtful of their employers and school administrators to fully support this divine scheduling.

Cox and a few other extreme Church of God splinter groups love to claim they alone are preserving the pure, inspired truth that Herbert W. Armstrong supposedly taught in the early glory years. In their eyes, 99% of the rest of “COGland” has sadly fallen into apostasy, doing whatever they feel like. But fear not — the Coxites stand alone as the one true church, no matter how whack-a-doodle their rules get. After all, what other group can boast of converting half to three-quarters of the entire African continent, including plenty of Muslims? Even the most ambitious crackpot leaders in other splinters could never pull off such a miracle.

One of the more unique distinctions of the Coxites is their belief in a created creature they call Christ — a being who will return not in gentle grace, but to whip some serious ass because he’s so ticked off. This future Messiah will then implement the entire system of laws given to Moses at Sinai. As they proudly declare:

When Messiah comes again, he is going to introduce, in total, the system of law that he gave to Moses at Sinai.

They also insist there is only one true God (named Eloah), which conveniently explains why Jesus must be a created creature:

How many true Gods does it have? The Bible texts are very plain, and they say that there is only One True God Eloah and He sent Jesus Christ, and on understanding that fact depends eternal life (Jn. 17:3). His name is Eloah (Prov. 30:4-5; Ezra Ch. 4-Ch. 7, F015ii). No man has ever seen Him or can see Him and He alone is immortal (Jn.1:18; 1Tim 6:16).

How refreshing — a theology where the Savior has to earn His stripes by coming back angry and enforcing ancient civil laws.]

But the real litmus test for true Christianity, according to CCG, is following the “proper calendar.” The Coxites are teh calendar police of teh COG movement. Anyone who dares use the common Hillel calendar (you know, the one most Jews and nearly every other Church of God group follows) is automatically branded an apostate. The Mother Church apparently got led astray by the Church of God (Seventh Day), which cowardly adopted the Hillel system because — gasp — there’s no Temple or Sanhedrin left to confirm the first faint crescent moon sighting.

Thankfully, the Coxites have people stationed around the Middle East scanning the skies for that sacred first glow. As they boldly proclaim:

The true Church keeps the Temple Calendar, and always has done so, over the last two millennia. The Sardis system went into apostasy from 1940 over Hillel in both the COG(SD) and the RCG and later WCG and offshoots. CCG keeps the Temple Calendar.

They also still keep the glorious eight-day Passover/Unleavened Bread observance that the Worldwide Church of God wisely dropped decades ago. Because nothing screams “New Covenant freedom” like forcing eight straight days off work for bread without yeast.

Some other gems of the Coxites include:

The True Church of God has to keep the Law and the Testimony that comes from the Law, including the Sabbaths, New Moons and the Feasts, and the Jubilee system. Only CCG does this

The church is also governed by the Law in all aspects and anyone teaching that the Law is done away or that any aspect of the Law, apart from the sacrificial law, does not have to be kept is not part of the Body of Christ.

If you or your church is not doing these things or teaching that they are not required then they are not inspired. Get away from them.

And just in case you were hoping for a little normal life: CCG prohibits any trading or ordinary activities on New Moons or Sabbaths. So no sneaky donut or coffee runs, no popping into a movie, and heaven forbid you stream a little Netflix on a New Moon day. The horror!

Meanwhile, Back in the New Covenant…

While all this calendar-watching and law-enforcing sounds exhausting, the New Testament offers a radically different message. Christians are not governed by the “testimony of the law” or bound to the Old Covenant system. As Paul plainly stated:

For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.” (Romans 6:14)

Of course, grace doesn’t mean “sin all you want,” but it does mean we are no longer under the heavy burden of the Mosaic Law as a means of justification or sanctification. The law served its purpose as a tutor to lead us to Christ. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under that tutor (Galatians 3:24-25). Grace and truth came through Jesus Christ (John 1:17), not through perfect moon sightings or eight-day forced vacations.

The ancient Temple calendar (based on actual visible crescent moons and barley ripening in Israel) was practical for a centralized nation with a functioning Sanhedrin. The Hillel calendar was a later, calculated system designed to keep scattered Jews unified after the Temple was destroyed. Neither one is presented in the New Testament as a requirement for Christians. Insisting that true salvation depends on getting the calendar exactly right — while labeling everyone else an apostate — is legalism dressed up as “restored truth.” Eastern skies for crescent moons. Must have completely slipped their minds in all

So there you have it, folks. If your pathetic little church isn’t making you take multiple weeks off work each year, banning Netflix on New Moons, teaching that Jesus is a created being who will return in a furious rage to re-impose the full Mosaic Law on everyone, and loudly declaring itself the only true church on the planet while the rest of us wallow in apostasy — well, according to Wade Cox and his elite band of moon-watchers, you’re probably doomed to eternal failure. How tragic.

It’s truly astonishing that the apostles somehow managed to plant churches all over the Roman Empire without ever mentioning these absolutely essential requirements like eight-day Unleavened Bread vacations, New Moon food purchases or cooking, or scanning the Middle Eastern skies for crescent moons. Must have completely slipped their minds in all the excitement of preaching the gospel of grace.

Thank goodness we have the Coxites to set the record straight after two thousand years. Because nothing captures the liberating joy of the New Covenant quite like turning Christianity into an exhausting game of “Who Can Keep the Most Obscure Old Covenant Rules While Claiming Everyone Else Is Apostate.” Grace? Pfft. Who needs that weak sauce when you can have legalism, sky-scanning, and a perpetually angry created Messiah instead?

True Christianity is defined by faith in the eternal Son of God who fulfilled the law for us, not by how strictly we police the skies for crescent moons or how many vacation days we sacrifice to prove our superior devotion. Grace still reigns — even if some groups would rather trade it for a perfectly observed calendar and a very, very angry returning Messiah.

The conclusion is now much more heavily sarcastic while still tying everything together clearly. Let me know if you'd like any further tweaks!

Dave Pack's Regret-O-Meter v2 (Part 628)

The Real Reason Jesus Was Delayed AGAIN In Meeting Up With Dave Pack

There are priorities when one arrives after a long journey, and what better place to stop off first than at

 the Giant Eagle!

Itchy, Snitchy, and Bitchy Preach An Absurd Program About Christianity and Islam Under Jesus

 

The first few minutes of this video will be all you will be able to handle. 

These three stooges have to be the most pathetic Armstrongist preachers you will ever listen to. Here we thought bouncing Bwana Bob was a mess, but these three are so bad I am shocked they have followers. It just goes to prove that certain Armstrongites will listen to anything and believe it to be true.

Reminder: Kingdom of God Arrives April 10!

 

David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God 

preached his 142nd date for the arrival of the Kingdom of God. 

During "The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 628)" on March 21, 2026, the Pastor General taught that Abib 24 (beginning April 10 at sunset) was the "unicorn date" that the Old Testament prophets and New Testament apostles never figured out. 

A single passage in Exodus is the only reference to the significance of Abib 24 in the Bible. 

Claiming he was led by God to reveal this information, coupled with unique coincidences, he told RCG members that this discovery is shocking and supported with "an avalanche of evidence." 

April 10-11 will come and go without any biblical significance because David C. Pack is a hypocritical, blaspheming liar, false apostle, false prophet, and false teacher. 

If he were led by God's Holy Spirit, he would have been right 141 times ago. 

All credit to former member Marc Cebrian 

for this compilation and description: exrcg.org

It Is The Day After Unleavened Bread and God's Favorite COG Leader Has Already Sinned

Just a few fleeting days ago, every single COG leader and member emerged from their solemn Passover services scrubbed sparkling clean of sin—like they'd been power-washed by divine Clorox. Pure. Spotless. Practically glowing with righteousness.

Then, poof! They're back to being inveterate, hardcore sinners once again. Not one tiny victory over the flesh. Not a single pesky habit conquered, despite all that heroic self-examination and fervent prayer for weeks leading up to Passover. The second their feet hit the parking lot outside that high school gym or sketchy Masonic Lodge on Passover night, sin apparently slipped right back in through the side door like an uninvited guest who knows where the spare key is hidden.

They had already spent the entire month before Unleavened Bread obsessively hunting down every last crumb of leavening—under couch cushions, in glove compartments, behind the dryer—like it was the most important archaeological dig of their lives. And yet, the instant the sun dips below the horizon tonight, watch how fast the same people are elbow-deep in a basket of warm dinner rolls or slicing into a decadent chocolate cake. Sin didn't just knock; it kicked the door down and reclaimed its throne.

Truly inspiring stuff.

And now, fresh from the post-DUB victory lap, we have the Almost-Arrested-But-Still-Not-Arrested Prophet Elijah-Elisha-Amos-Joshua-Habakkuk (pick your Old Testament flavor of the week), otherwise known as the perpetually aggrieved and bitter Bwana Bob Thiel, ready to dispense his patented words of wisdom to all you filthy backsliders.

Because nothing says “spiritual authority” quite like lecturing the flock about sin the moment the calendar flips and the bread is allowed back on the menu.

DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN A PLACE THAT YOU ARE AS TEMPTED TO SIN 

There are also practical, physical, considerations that can help you overcome sin. 

When you pray, “lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” (Matthew 6:13, KJV), the implication is that you do not intentionally place yourself in areas to be tempted. 

For example, if one is inclined to overly gamble, one should avoid going to casinos or visiting cities such as Las Vegas. 

One who is inclined to smoke should not hang out with others who smoke. Nor should they ever buy cigarettes. However, since smoking is a very difficult habit to break, sometimes one may find replacement behaviors or some other physical item helpful to break the habit. But if someone wants to stop smoking, they really need to stop buying cigarettes. They should also repent and ask forgiveness of their sins each time they smoke (or commit any other sin). 

As far one’s diet goes, God tells His people to “eat what is good” (Isaiah 55:2), thus Christians should be careful about their diets and not eat that which is not good for them.

When it comes to alcohol, one should not hang out with those that overly drink.  

Christians are not to run with the crowd and go along with the world. Sin grows (James 1:15) and spreads (Romans 5:12).

One flees sexual immorality by not getting oneself in a situation that could be somewhat expected to possibly lead to it, or immediately leaving a situation if it appears possible.

The paternalistic brilliance never ceases to amaze. It remains crystal clear that Bob Thiel—along with the rest of the COG leadership pantheon—views their loyal followers as little more than dim-witted sheep who couldn’t possibly tie their own spiritual shoelaces without detailed instructions from on high. Why bother developing critical thinking skills when your benevolent overseers have already decided what’s best for your diet, your wardrobe, your entertainment choices, your bank account, and—most importantly—your eternal destiny?

The members have been so beautifully conditioned over the decades that they practically beg for these guidelines. It’s far less exhausting to outsource all that pesky decision-making to someone who claims direct hotline access to the Almighty. Who needs personal responsibility when you can just follow the latest “Thus saith the almost-arrested prophet” memo and call it obedience?

But here’s the real kicker, the one unforgivable transgression that somehow manages to eclipse every other failing in the grand ledger of COG sin. Even as members heroically purge their lives of “bad influences”—no more worldly TV, no questionable friendships, no leavened bread for a whole week—there remains one cardinal, soul-damning offense that apparently never quite gets repented of.

In the ever-watchful, perpetually aggrieved eyes of the inveterate truth-stretcher himself, Bob Thiel, the most grievous sin of all is this: failing to financially prop up his personal ministry. Skip a tithe check, redirect a few dollars elsewhere, or—gasp—question whether every last cent is truly advancing the “final witness” work, and suddenly you’re not just backsliding—you’re actively sabotaging God’s end-time plan.

Because nothing says “true Christian humility” quite like being told that your deepest spiritual defect is not sending enough money to the guy who keeps rebranding himself as the next Elijah while his prophecies keep landing in the compost heap. Priorities, people. Priorities.

As Christians, it is not just enough not to sin, we are to do the work of God. Furthermore, consider that when you pray God is not limited to what He can give you–in other words do not neglect to pray for major change, not to just not sin, but to do and support His work.

Oh, please, enlighten me: show me the verse—any verse—where it says that failing to cut a check to a COG leader’s latest “final witness” vanity project is somehow a soul-damning sin. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Flip through your Bible. Old Testament, New Testament, Apocrypha if you’re feeling extra spicy. Crickets, right? Because it’s nowhere. Not a single syllable. Not even a vague implication tucked away in some obscure prophetic footnote.

Yet somehow, in the sacred theology according to Bitter Bwana Bob Thiel, your eternal standing now hinges on whether your bank account shows sufficient enthusiasm for his YouTube channel, his self-published booklets, and his endless parade of “I’m the one true prophet” announcements. Miss a tithe? Congratulations, you’ve just committed the unpardonable sin of the 21st-century Armstrongite era. Forget murder, adultery, or idolatry—those are small potatoes. The real crime is not bankrolling one man’s delusion of grandeur.

If Thiel had even a passing acquaintance with this thing called the New Covenant—y’know, the one Jesus actually died to establish—he might have noticed that the war’s already over. Victory’s been declared. The battle isn’t some endless, joy-crushing daily grind of self-flagellation over every minor slip-up, every stray thought, every insufficiently fervent donation. Grace isn’t a temporary hall pass that expires the moment you forget to fund the next “urgent” newsletter. The struggle? It’s not about mercilessly beating yourself bloody for falling short of some leader’s ever-shifting checklist. It’s about resting in the finished work of Christ, not auditioning for approval from the Almost-Arrested Oracle of Arroyo Grandeand Grover Beach.

But sure, keep preaching that the cross wasn’t quite enough—that what Jesus really left out was the mandatory line-item veto for supporting your favorite end-time personality cult. Because nothing screams “Old Covenant” like perpetual guilt trips disguised as godly stewardship.