Tuesday, March 17, 2026

Happy St Patricks Day!


Two Irish Blessings

Saving Grace

Grant me a sense of humor, Lord,

The saving grace to see a joke,

To win some happiness from life,

And pass it on to other folk. 



An Irish method for tackling problems:

There comes a time when you must take the bull

By the tail and face the situation squarely.


Monday, March 16, 2026

The Apocrypha



 

CIA Murders, Defamation, Conspiracies, Jerusalem, Petra and More!




Oh, dear Great Bwana Bob Thiel, how the mighty have fallen—or rather, how they've been quietly sidelined to a sad little strip-mall existence in Grover Beach. Poor thing, you used to dominate the COG gossip cycle with your endless "news" updates and self-proclaimed prophetic insights, but lately? Crickets. You've been utterly usurped by the new reigning champion of unhinged Armstrongism: Samuel Kitchen, the self-appointed guardian of the "true" Worldwide Church of God.

Yes, while you're stuck rattling around in your itty-bitty dingy storefront, dreaming of African followers and radio spots, Samuel has boldly stepped up to claim the crown for sheer batshit craziness in today's fractured Armstrong world. UCG and COGWA love to pat themselves on the back as the "normal" ones—the sane, buttoned-up alternatives to the wilder outfits like Dave Pack's apocalyptic cash-grab or Gerald Flurry's mini-Pasadena cult compound. But let's be real: they're all cut from the same threadbare Herbert W. Armstrong cloth. Same doctrines, same authoritarian vibes, same endless splintering. Samuel's little reincarnated "mess" is just the latest flavor of the same old delusion, proving yet again that Armstrongism doesn't mellow with age—it just gets whackier, more paranoid, and more entertainingly detached from reality.

And oh boy, when you dive into Samuel's latest manifesto, the red flags start waving like they're at a parade. This guy isn't just quirky; something is profoundly not right here. He presents as this friendly, likable fellow—smiling in videos, posting songs, visiting "brethren" around the globe—but peel back that thin veneer, and there's a darker current swirling underneath: wild claims of CIA-orchestrated family murders to suppress his unincorporated "spiritual organism," complete with warnings from shadowy operatives, trademark battles in Tennessee, and a divine mandate to flee to Petra (oops, Jerusalem—wait, Petra again—wait, Philadelphia PA—wait, back to Jerusalem for a month-long vacay in 2025).

Apparently, his grandmother, mother, and father were all "murdered" in some grand conspiracy to kill off the real WCG before someone could snatch the name. But fear not—the Church persists because Matthew 16:18! And now, more "brethren" are standing up worldwide, proving this unincorporated ghost is alive and well. The solution? Naturally, rally the troops to buy back the Ambassador Auditorium (and maybe some adjacent buildings) to "restore" the Church, the ministry, and give God's name glory. Because nothing says "spiritual organism" like crowdfunding a multimillion-dollar concert hall from a group that currently operates it.

Look, if you're reading this and thinking, "Hey, maybe I should send Samuel some money to reclaim that shiny Pasadena relic," please have your head examined immediately. This is peak Armstrongism: mix equal parts narcissism, zero self-awareness, manipulative guilt-tripping ("You're lying, defaming, slandering the Church of the Living God! Repent!"), and a complete disregard for how trademarks, reality, or basic human empathy actually work. Calling the old WCG a "corporate entity" is apparently bearing false witness now, even though it literally was one before the big doctrinal meltdown.

So here's the sarcastic toast to the new front-runner: Congratulations, Samuel Kitchen—you've out-crazied the field. While Bwana Bob fades into obscurity with his end-time weather reports, you've elevated the game to full-on conspiracy-theorist opera. Keep those feast-site selfies coming from Petra/Jerusalem/wherever the spirit leads next. The rest of us will just sit back with popcorn, watching the "one true Church" restore itself one delusional fundraising plea at a time.

And to everyone else in COG-land: Maybe—just maybe—step back and ask if this endless parade of "true" churches, murdered-family backstories, and real-estate fantasies is really what God had in mind. Or if it's just more proof that when narcissism, lack of empathy, and manipulative personalities take the helm, you get exactly what we're seeing: shining examples of mental illness masquerading as divine restoration.

Copied, unedited.

There is a current problem with disgracing the Worldwide Church of God among these cog groups. 
 
Many times a minister will say “The Worldwide Church of God is dead”, or “it was destroyed”. 
 
They MISS-Classify “the Worldwide Church of God” as a corporate entity. It isnt. And some research into what Herbert W Armstrong taught can prove that. It is actually a spiritual organism! 
 
But the misinformation said about this Church, is a regular defamation, of the character of the Unincorporated Association called the Worldwide Church of God. 
 
When my family stood up as the Worldwide Church of God, we showed and provide sufficient evidence that an association was alive, and we were unincorporated. 
 
Then other brethren saw us, and they too stood up, showing future evidence of this unincorporated spiritual organism. 
 
My personal family, was struck by an attack, that killed the older members. My grandmother was murdered. My mother and the father was murdered. 
 
Now, all evidence says the CIA did it. 
 
One of their operatives prior to all of this happening, came up to my dad and warned him of what was coming down the pipeline. As far as I know, there is no need to question his warning, because it  
came to be. Three members of my family were murdered. 
 
I personally believe it was done with the intention of destroying the unincorporated association of the Worldwide Church of God. Because as we were beig hit, a man was filing in Tennessee a new trademark on the name! However his new trademark is not valid. The original usage is still alive. So it cannot conquer it while the original usage is alive. 
 
But the Chuch persisted, according to Matthew 16:18. 
 
And if we gave up because of the killing of my family, there were people primed to take it. 
 
Now, more brethren are standing up around the world! Proving sufficient evidence of an unincorporated association. 
 
That is why my declaration in 2022, is so important. I announced the Worldwide Church of God was assembling in Jerusalem to keep the Feasts of the Lord! We did keep the feasts but in PETRA! 
 
We didn’t realize we had gathered ourselves to flee out from Jerusalem.
Jeremiah 6:1 
 
“O ye children of Benjamin, gather yourselves to flee out of the midst of Jerusalem”
And so the next year 2023, I went to Philadelphia PA, for the feast and the new website was developed to showcase this unincorporated spiritual organism! 
 
In 2024, I went back to Petra! And brethren was coming together around the world. 
 
In 2025, We assembled in Jerusalem again. Staying an entire month there. 
 
And so my point is, many are disgracing the Worldwide Church of God, by defamation, slander and libel. 
 
This act of calling the Worldwide Church of God a corporate entity, when it is not, is bearing false witness. Telling a lie. 
 
God’s Church does not lie. But by standing up and being the Worldwide Church of God, we are standing up as a witness. 
 
We are the same Worldwide Church of God. And now we are looking to gain the Ambassador Auditorium, and according to some other houses and buildings next to it. We are looking to restore this Church, and to restore the ministry, and give God’s name GLORY! 
 
Be not one of those who want to disgrace the Worldwide Church of God! 
 
You are lying, defaming, slandering the Church of the Living God! 
 
Repent. And believe God!"

Sunday, March 15, 2026

That Dog Won't Hunt!


That Dog Won't Hunt!

In the comments which followed my post The Linchpin of Armstrongism, some of the commentators brought up the fact that I am a celibate homosexual. For my regular readers, it will come as no surprise that I have always regarded my celibacy and faithfulness to God and my family as a tremendous source of moral authority for the things that I write about spiritual/theological issues. Hence, as part of my response to this mention, I wrote: "Perhaps, if Herbert Armstrong hadn't been such a narcissist and pervert, his teachings would carry more moral authority."

This statement provoked the following anonymous comment: "Earlier above, you excoriated HWA again for being such a 'narcissist and pervert' (doubting his conversion and believing the allegations against him, while calling yourself a redeemed one), and that if it hadn't been for that, 'his teachings would have carried more moral authority.' I detect a spirit of bitterness here. You don't know that Christ had him teach the truth for over 50 years, that many watched the WT and read the PT, and that attendance reached 140,000 until the apostasy set in? (to which you give assent if you disparage the law) His teachings did carry high moral authority from the Lord and led to many conversions (to which you have attested). Even after the trials and turmoil of the 70s, after all the allegations that he faced, he survived it until '86 when the church was still flourishing. If it was a work of men (which it began to be under the JWT's watch '93-'95), it would have come to nothing."

I completely understand where this person is coming from - once upon a time, I thought the same way. Like many of the folks who read this blog, I swallowed what Herbie was selling hook, line, and sinker! I believed that God had revealed THE TRUTH to that old guy, and that God had opened my mind to believe what He had revealed to Herbie. Later, however, I came to see that all that glitters is not gold - that there were a lot of holes in Herbie's "truth." I discovered that Herbie's dissertations on history and science were full of inaccuracies. Moreover, I eventually realized that many of his "prooftexts" had been taken out of context, and that his knowledge of the Bible and Christian theology was very superficial.

Finally, after an extensive reevaluation of Herbie's teachings, I came to understand that God had NOT worked through Mr. Armstrong. Indeed, it became very clear to me that he had twisted history, science, Scripture, research, and the thought process itself. Armstrong claimed that he had figured out God's plans, recovered First Century Christianity, and found the key to understanding prophecy. Sadly, it turned out that he didn't understand very much at all!

Then, I began learning more about the man himself - his character - his very real and glaring weaknesses and failures as a person. I talked to people who knew him personally and had worked with him. I reread his autobiography, and I saw things there that I had overlooked or ignored the first time I had read it. Herbert had written that his sister-in-law had been "indoctrinated" with the theory of evolution; and that she had called him "ignorant," because he had expressed his belief in Divine creation. The account continued:

"That accusation came hot on the heels of this Sabbath challenge from my wife. Of course, Hertha was only about 19, and had had but her freshman year in college. She was yet immature enough to be a bit oversold on what had been presented to her as a mark of intellectual distinction. Nevertheless, her manner was cutting, and a bit sarcastic, and 1 accepted it as a challenge. 'Hertha,' 1 responded, 'I am just starting a study of the Bible. I intend to include in this research a thorough study of the Biblical account of creation. Since it is admittedly one of the two - evolution or special creation - I will include an in-depth study of evolution. I feel sure that a thorough study into both sides will show that it is you who are ignorant, and that you merely studied one side of a two-sided question in freshman biology, and accepted what was funnelled into your mind without question. And if and when I do, I'm going to make you EAT those words!'" (spelling and punctuation were Herbert's)

Allow me to point out the things which I hadn't noticed the first time I read this passage. Notice that Herbie was responding to challenges from his wife and sister-in-law. Notice also that he disparaged his sister-in-law's college coursework (Mr. Armstrong did NOT have a college background of his own). He then proceeded to announce that he would launch his own independent study of science and the Bible, and that the results would be definitive. Finally, he told his sister-in-law that he would make her "eat those words." It hit me like a ton of bricks. This man was a classic narcissist! He was the smartest tool in the shed, and everybody else was inferior to him in intellect! This would become even clearer as Herbie continued the account of his life.

He wrote: "Most believers in the Bible and in the existence of God have probably just grown up believing it, because they were reared in an atmosphere where it was believed. But perhaps few ever studied into it deeply enough to obtain irrefutable PROOF. Likewise, the 'educated,' who have gone on through college or university, have, in the main, been taught the theory of evolution as a BELIEF. They have accepted it, in all probability, without having given any serious or thorough study of the Biblical claims." No one had studied the subject like Herbert Armstrong intended to study it! Look out "Darwin, Haeckel, Spencer, Huxley, and Vogt, Herbie was about to give those so-called intellectual giants the what for!

Even though Armstrong admitted that he was self-educated, he was going to challenge scientists and biblical scholars alike. He was going to get to the "truth" that no one else had been able to discover or discern! Even though he didn't have any training in research techniques and methods, he would ferret out the answers that had alluded all others! He continued:

I began this intensified study by obtaining everything I could find in the way of books, pamphlets and other literature both for and against what was often called 'the Jewish Sabbath.' I wanted, not only everything I could lay hands on, on the case for Sunday, and against the 7th-day Sabbath. I wanted, also, the arguments or proponents for it, which I hoped to be able honestly to refute. At the same time, I found, in the Portland Public Library, many scientific works either directly on evolution, or teaching in textbooks on biology, paleontology, and geology. Also I found books by scientists and doctors of philosophy puncturing many holes in the evolutionary hypothesis. Strangely, even the critics of evolution, being themselves scientific men, paradoxically accepted the very theory they so ably refuted."

Apparently, no one ever informed Mr. Armstrong that all sources are NOT created equal, or that some arguments are superior to others. It also appears that no one ever told him that a university library would be better for this kind of research than a public library - that he would have access to more of the latest thinking on any given subject in a university library than he would in a local public library. In Herbert's mind, his research was the most intensive that had ever been undertaken. His study would settle these questions for all time!

In addition to these personal revelations about Armstrong's narcissism and intellectual prowess, it was about this time that my father informed me about a conversation that he had had with Garner Ted Armstrong - before the masseuse and his messy exit from the Church of God International. To my shock and horror, GTA had confirmed to him that the rumors were true about his father's incestuous relationship with his sister! Prior to this, I had always dismissed the rumors and refused to look into the matter. I had assumed it was just sour grapes and character assassination. After my dad's bombshell, however, I became aware of the fact that there was a substantial body of circumstantial evidence which supported the accusation. So, Herbert Armstrong was a narcissist and an incestuous pedophile! He had also clearly divorced his second wife - it was a matter of public record. He wasn't even qualified to be a minister of Jesus Christ - let alone to be called an "apostle"!

In light of everything I had learned, it became clear to me that God had NEVER used Herbert Armstrong to reveal anything to anybody! "What about the success of the Worldwide Church?" my friends who were still entangled in Herbie's web of lies demanded. After all, Herbie had always pointed to PT circulation numbers, radio and television stations broadcasting The World Tomorrow, Ambassador College, and Ambassador IC Foundation, and income as proof that God was blessing his leadership of The Work. What we were never told, however, was that the Mormon Church and the Jehovah's Witnesses had an even greater reach and impact than we did. In fact, it turns out that financial and publishing success are NOT indicators of Divine favor! Bottom line, my apologies to the commentator referenced above - that dog won't hunt!

Posted by Miller Jones/Lonnie C Hendrix

Samuel Kitchen Solves His Fund Raising Issues So He Can Buy The Auditorium (and Maybe the Houses)

 

Searching the web
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Oh, break out the holy tambourines and gather 'round the Sabbath table, folks—Samuel Kitchen has "released" a brand-new CD masterpiece that's sure to revolutionize Friday night family worship.

Featuring such irresistible earworms as:

As An Ambassador 
The Worldwide Church of God
Be Strong
The Golden Oil

Picture this glorious scene: 

You and your family huddled together after sunset, kicking off the Sabbath with heartfelt sing-alongs to these catchy tunes. Because nothing says "divine inspiration" quite like budget production values paired with lyrics about reclaiming long-lost auditoriums and restoring the one true church.

Who needs modern worship bands when you can have nostalgic hymns about Pasadena real estate dreams all beautifully sung by AI computers possessed by demons?

Who says God doesn't work in mysterious ways? 

Clearly, He saves His best chart-toppers for the guy single-handedly trying to buy back the Ambassador Auditorium one overpriced CD at a time. Move over, heavenly choirs—this is the soundtrack the end times have been waiting for.


Tracks:

Blog Site Exposing the Evils of Gerald Flurry and the Philadlphia Church of God and it's Demonic No Contact Rule

 










Pre-Forclosure Sale Of Herbert's Mansion! Another Fitting Home For Samuel Kitchen



Behold what may be the latest heaven-sent bargain in these perilous end times! Another golden opportunity has miraculously appeared for the self-proclaimed new owner of the Ambassador Auditorium and supreme leader of the one true restored Worldwide Church of God—none other than Samuel Kitchen himself.

Yes, brethren, Herbert W. Armstrong's own Pasadena residence at 210 South Orange Grove Boulevard—that hallowed slice of Millionaires' Row—is apparently up for grabs (or at least lingering in the ether of old listings and bankruptcy echoes from years past). Pre-foreclosure prices? Well, let's just say the market gods are smiling indulgently on anyone foolish enough to claim this sacred relic. 

Imagine Samuel sitting on the very same throne—where HWA did his morning devotions and sleep in the same bedroom where Herbert met his earthly end in Loma's favorite perch. Or, if you're partial to the more colorful COG conspiracy lore, the spot where he was supposedly "asphyxiated by a certain Russian" (because nothing says divine protection like a good old-fashioned Church of God hit job).

What divine providence! Samuel could even inherit the sacred lodging space once occupied by the legendary Gerald Waterhouse, where he so piously entertained virile young Ambassador College lads—though, alas, the garage has been unceremoniously lifted and relocated like some architectural rapture to an adjacent location. 

And don't get me started on the basement safe: walk right in and touch the very shelves where Herbert kept his redlined, annotated copies of JW, LDS, and SDA materials (for "research purposes," naturally). Feel the lingering aura where his personal copy of Mein Kampf once sat—truly, a collector's item for the discerning apostle.

So many glorious, non-coincidental opportunities piling up like manna from heaven! The Merritt Mansion, the Auditorium, now Herb's own digs—clearly this is all part of the grand Plan of Salvation unfolding before our very eyes. No mere coincidence; it's a sign!

Chop chop, brethren! Open those wallets wider than ever before and give as you've never given! The true work marches on, salvation hangs by a thread, and God's modern-day apostle can't possibly fund these holy acquisitions on faith alone. Dig deep, sacrifice mightily—your eternal reward (and Sam's new address) depends on it. Praise be to the endless real estate revival!

Zillow Pre-foreclosure Auction