For the Second Day in a Row: “Banned Hurt My Feelings Again, Therefore I Am the True End-Time Prophet”

 

Crackpot Bob’s Eternal Whine: “Banned Hurt My Feelings Again, Therefore I Am the True End-Time Prophet”
In his latest trembling dispatch from Grover Beach and for the SECOND day in a row, Crackpot Bob once again demonstrates why he is the undisputed champion of prophecy addiction and thin-skinned grievance-collecting. After we posted the article yesterday (“Earthquakes Happened Yesterday and Crackpot Bob is Shaking in Grover Beach Over How Accurate He Thinks He Is — As Usual”), the self-styled prophet could not resist firing back with another multi-page biblical tantrum.
He calls all of us here “anti-Christian deceivers,” and accuses us of wanting to be “blinded to the truth,” and labels our factual corrections about earthquake statistics and heat records as satanic scoffing straight out of 2 Peter 3. (We are not anti-Christian deceivers; we are anti-deviant Armstrongite church leaders.) The man is obsessed with us and has been clicking on this blog multiple times a day lately. 
Every time Banned points out that big quakes still average roughly 16 major ones per year and that heat records get broken every few years (because that’s how records work), Bwana Bob doesn’t respond with data or humility. He responds with Amos, Isaiah, and long lists of his own 2009 predictions, as if repeating the same vague “odd weather is coming” line for 17 years somehow makes him Jeremiah.
Here’s the delicious irony that Crackpot Bob never seems to notice: If he were actually a powerful end-time prophet with special divine insight, why does he spend half his waking hours crying about a blog that calls him Crackpot Bob? Why the endless credential flexing, the “they lied about my PhD” rebuttals, and the demands for apologies? He does this because Banned has had a huge impact in turning people away from him, and he knows it. A real prophet wouldn’t need to police his image like a fragile influencer. He’d just let the fulfilled prophecies speak for themselves. Instead, we get this weak little milquetoast routine — triggered by every snarky comment, rushing to the keyboard to quote 2 Timothy 3 at people who simply refuse to take his weather reports as divine revelation.
This is the same pattern Armstrongism has been running for over 80 years. Since Herbert Armstrong started making bold predictions in the 1930s and 40s, the movement has produced an endless parade of self-appointed prophets, apostles, and “the one true leader” figures. Failed date settings for 1972, 1975, and countless other “this is it!” moments didn’t stop the splintering. Every new group leader claims the previous ones lost the mantle and that he is the faithful remnant carrying the real work. Crackpot Bob is not some fresh, undeniable voice breaking through. He’s just the latest in a very long, very disappointing line of men who discovered that claiming prophetic status is an excellent way to keep a small group paying attention and sending offerings.
Why should anyone suddenly believe this one is different? Because he had a couple of dreams? Because Roderick Meredith once said something vague about God possibly considering him a prophet before kicking him out? Because he collected some old credentials and now pastes Bible verses on every natural disaster? Armstrongism’s track record on prophets is abysmal. The movement has been crying wolf since before most of us were born. At some point, the rational response isn’t “maybe this guy is the real one.” It’s “this entire prophetic addiction industry has been a spectacular failure for eight decades.”Why the New Covenant Does Not Need Self-Appointed Prophets Like Bwana Bob or Men Obsessed With Prediction AddictionThe New Covenant fundamentally changes the role of prophecy. Under the Old Covenant, God spoke through selected prophets because the law was external and the people needed constant external correction and future warnings. The New Covenant, as described in Jeremiah 31 and explained in Hebrews 8, is different: God puts His law in people’s minds and writes it on their hearts. The Holy Spirit indwells every believer. There is no longer the same need for a special class of intermediaries who alone receive direct revelations about the future.
Jesus Himself is the final and greatest Prophet (Deuteronomy 18:15-18 fulfilled in Christ). The New Testament repeatedly points believers to Him and the completed revelation in Scripture rather than ongoing date-specific predictions. While the gift of prophecy exists in the early church for edification, exhortation, and comfort (1 Corinthians 14), it is not presented as the primary way God leads His people in the age of the Spirit. The foundation of apostles and prophets was laid once (Ephesians 2:20), and the church is now built on that completed foundation with Christ as the cornerstone.
Prediction addiction is spiritually corrosive for several reasons. First, it shifts focus from the gospel and personal repentance to constant sign-watching and “this could be it!” speculation. Second, it almost always produces pride and defensiveness in the predictor — exactly the milquetoast behavior we see in Bwana Bob, where any criticism is reframed as satanic persecution rather than legitimate pushback. Third, history shows it leads to repeated embarrassment when the predicted timelines fail, which then requires more conspiracy theories and name-calling to protect the ego. Fourth, it distracts from the actual New Covenant emphasis: living faithfully, loving others, and being ready for Christ’s return whenever it happens, without needing to map every earthquake and heatwave onto a personal prophetic résumé.
The New Covenant invites believers to maturity, not perpetual childhood dependence on the latest prophetic newsletter. When someone spends decades turning every natural disaster into proof of their own special calling while lashing out at critics, it reveals far more about their own insecurities than it does about the nearness of the end. The Bible already warned us about people who would be “lovers of themselves… boasters, proud” in the last days. Sometimes the clearest sign isn’t the earthquake — it’s the man who can’t stop writing angry articles about the people who refuse to call him a prophet.

Prediction Addiction Christians

 

Senator Ted Cruz recently stated that anti-Semitism is on the rise in the US. This is so sad. Many blame the nation of Israel for influencing the US to enter into this unpopular war with Iran. 

If you believe this military adventure was a mistake, there is plenty of blame to go around. Personally, my focus is not on Israel. Instead, my concern is primarily directed to current Headline Theology Christian leaders. Many (if not most) of American Christian fundamentalists promote Prediction Addiction theology. 

Unfortunately, this mental aberration also resides within the Sabbath-keeping Church of God movement. 

It all started with William Miller (not a Sabbath keeper) in 1843. After Miller's prophecies failed 183 years ago, several groups rose out of the ashes of what history books call "the Great Disappointment." Two of these groups were the Seventh Day Adventists (SDA) and the Church of God Seventh Day (CG7).

I can't speak to the history of SDA and its current teaching. But I do know that CG7's early days included a lot of silly Headline Theology. Praise God, many (if not most) in CG7 have repented of this error. As a member of CG7, my observation is that most in our group today are more focused on the Sermon on the Mount and Exodus 20 than on Headline Theology.

The bad news is that CG7's main offshoot, the Worldwide Church of God (WCG), embraced this prophetic nonsense fully and completely. (For more information about this, go online and read their booklet, "1975 In Prophecy.") I believe WCG currently rejects this doctrinal aberration, but its offshoots totally embrace it. 

I mean, they love it! It is their main tool for proselytizing and resulting income. Sadly, so much of these WCG offshoots' sermon time and evangelical efforts are saturated with this filth. Like their Headline Theology brothers who are Christian fundamentalists, the WCG offshoot groups share a lot of the responsibility for what has happened in Iran. 

The current administration knows that these church groups with twisted prophecy are their key supporters. Those in charge of the White House knew that this Iran adventure would have their full support. 

And why would a Prediction Addiction Christian embrace a war in the Middle East — a conflict that could lead to WWIII? Because these religions want to bring Armageddon down on the world. They want to see the nuclear bombs fall all over the globe. They want plagues to fall upon the world. All this, while they either get raptured or go to the Place of Safety. 

This is sick. 

So let's stop blaming Israel for what's going on in Iran and put a big chunk of the blame on the Christians who enthusiastically promoted this war — wetting themselves at the very thought of worldwide human suffering.

Yes, as Christians, we should pray "Thy Kingdom come." But let's not try to rush Jesus' return by encouraging politicians to make questionable and dangerous decisions. Our heavenly Father has a timeline that we cannot affect. Let's put our faith in Him. 

Wes White

Happy 250th Birthday, Manasseh! from Pastor General Bill Watson

Happy 250th Birthday, Manasseh! from Pastor General Bill Watson

Pastor Bill Watson, leader of the newly minted Church of God Independent Ministries of Medina, Ohio, just wished America a Happy Birthday! (See Happy 250th Birthday America) Poor old Bill tried to wax eloquent about the "American Experiment," but it fell a little flat.

He said that it was a miracle that America had survived the many challenges it has faced. You know: dispossessing the original inhabitants of all of that land, getting thousands of Africans here across the turbulent Atlantic Ocean and trying to make them work for white folks, leveling vast tracks of virgin forest, making moonscapes of large tracts of land in its pursuit of coal and other resources, finding places to bury all of the refuse we've created, having to get rid of all of those pesky bison and passenger pigeons, building all of those miles of walls to keep people out, figuring out ways to keep undesirables from voting and usurping power from white folks, figuring out new and better ways to wage war and kill people, resisting those nasty folks who would like to mandate public health measures, etc. YES, America has had its challenges, but God has enabled us to survive and thrive! Talk about miracles!

Never one to be at a loss for words, Bill declared that "There is obviously something 'Providential' about the United States that seems to be providing a degree of protection for purposes of clearly, bringing a balance of power to the nations of the world–– and yes, there is: it’s called God’s Covenant Birthright!" You probably didn't know this, but the United States is really an Israelite nation. YES, according to Bill, the people of e pluribus unum are descendants of Joseph's son, Manasseh! Now, aren't we all sorry we slept through U.S. History class in high school?

Although Mr. Watson claims that he is shocked that we haven't seen World War III yet, he appears to be confident that his favorite president has everything in hand. He pointed out how he had completely defeated Iran and "took complete control of the Strait of Hormuz." Indeed, Mr. Watson believes that Trump is so tough that Iran's Russian, Chinese, and North Korean allies didn't dare to even whisper any objections to Trump's actions against Iran. "This is just stunning! Frankly, it’s unbelievably amazing when you think about it. Clearly, God is involved!" Watson crowed. Miracles everywhere we look!

Watson went on to write: "So, it would appear a 'judge' has been raised up in this Birthright Nation to resist and push back at the Globalist. To relieve and slow down some of the oppression and attempted control from the WEF, the UN, and so many of the additional global organizations like the IMF, the WHO, and the World Court, along with so many others, ––a speed bump, if you will––curbing their influence and reducing their momentum from achieving a 'New World Order.' Admittedly, President Trump’s administration has disrupted many of their plans, setting them back on their timeline!" Apparently, we should all be on our knees right now thanking Almighty God that he has raised up such a savior for this great nation of ours!

Mr. Watson sees a great "CHRISTIAN Nation" here. After all, all of those Founding Fathers professed to be Christians didn't they? Oh sure, some of them owned slaves and were personally immoral, but they professed their faith in Christ - Come on, doesn't that mean anything to you people? And, sure, Thomas Jefferson wrote his own version of the Gospels and deleted all of the miracles, BUT he still professed himself to be a follower of Christ's teachings! And, sure, some of our denominations split into Northern and Southern organizations because of their respective stances on slavery, BUT they were all still Christians! And, yes, there were some strong anti-Roman Catholic sentiments within some quarters of the American Christian community, BUT everything is OK now - Protestants and Catholics are united in their condemnation of abortion and homosexuals - SO CHEW ON THAT YOU COMMY ATHEISTIC DEMONCRATS!

Bill is clearly in a happy place. Sure, some will say that he is delusional; but the man is clearly patriotic! Yes, some smart alecks like me will point out that a Christian minister has no business singing the praises of one of this world's nations or becoming a political partisan of one party over another or of serving as a cheerleader for his favorite politician; but there are always killjoys waiting in the wings - aren't there? Maybe we should leave poor Bill alone. After all, he was just trying to wish America a HAPPY Birthday and doesn't America deserve a very happy birthday? What do you think?

Posted by Miller Jones/Lonnie C Hendrix 

Prophet? Please. Bob Thiel’s Massive Rebuttal Is Peak Narcissistic Cope — HWA Quotes, Whispered Endorsements, and a Whole Tube of Butthurt

On June 18, 2024, I had the audacity to point out the blindingly obvious: 

Herbert W. Armstrong’s own words make absolute mincemeat of Bob Thiel’s desperate claim to prophetic superstar status. 

 

(See article here along with a video from a COG related group who says there is NO NEED for prophets today in the church)

Two years later, Bwana Bob is still nursing his hemorrhoids with his gigantic tube of Butthurt Cream, causing him to lash out today in a hilarious 10,966 word "rebuttal."

Is it a concise, Spirit-led reply? Oh no. It was a bloated, self-congratulatory biblical doorstopper — a rambling, name-dropping, quote-vomiting manifesto clocking in at well over 10,900 words of pure defensive cope.

If sheer word count proved divine inspiration, War and Peace would be holy writ and Crackpot Bob would outrank Moses, Elijah, and the Apostle Paul combined. Sadly for our verbose visionary, God doesn’t anoint prophets based on how many times they can repeat “I have never posted a false prediction” while patting themselves on the back. He just writes another 10,000 words because his narcissism can’t tolerate a blog post calling out the obvious.

Bwana Bob devotes massive chunks of his literary tantrum to cherry-picking Herbert Armstrong quotes on prophets, the two witnesses, future “prophesying again,” and Joel 2/Acts 2 duality. He then plants his flag and declares triumphantly: “See? HWA totally backs me!”

Cute. HWA also wrote, loudly and repeatedly, that he was emphatically NOT a prophet, that there was no such human prophet living in 1972, and that there was no doctrinal need for them at the time. Thiel’s brilliant rebuttal? “Well, HWA was just annoyed by random cranks, and he didn’t really mean it forever!” He even trots out a private chat with Aaron Dean as supposed smoking-gun proof.

Here’s the hilarious part: even granting Crackpot Bob's spin on Aaron Dean (which we only have on Thiel’s say-so), it still doesn’t magically transform Crackpot Bob into the end-time super-prophet. It just reminds us that HWA was a fallible man whose contradictory statements helped spawn dozens of feuding splinters after he died. Quoting long-dead Armstrong-era ministers as your airtight prophetic credentials is like using a dusty 1975 Plain Truth to “prove” modern doctrine. It’s cute nostalgia for the true believers, but it carries all the authority of a participation trophy.

The glittering diamond in Thiel’s crown of credentials? Roderick C. Meredith supposedly told him — multiple times, in private phone calls no one else witnessed — “God may consider you to be a prophet.” Thiel rounds up the usual suspects (Dibar Apartian, Douglas Winnail, Richard Ames) for alleged agreement.

Let that marinate. Rod Meredith — the guy with his own track record of prophetic speculation, administrative drama, and helping build yet another fracturing COG empire — allegedly dropped these prophetic sweet nothings in private chats. Thiel then took those vague, cautious, or possibly polite remarks, mixed in a 2011 private anointing prayer from Gaylyn Bonjour (where Bonjour was asked to pray for wisdom and supposedly got “moved by the Spirit” to toss in a “double portion” line), and declared himself the official Elisha mantle-bearer.

Then, when Thiel dramatically exited LCG at the end of 2012 to launch his own shop, Meredith wrote an accusatory letter essentially calling out Thiel’s self-importance. So either Meredith was temporarily deceived (as seems likely in his later years), or Thiel inflated casual phone comments into a full divine coronation that never actually existed in public. Classic.

This is peak narcissistic playbook: private conversations become sacred oracles, critics become “accusers of the brethren” and “grumblers like in Jude,” and any absence of public endorsement is blamed on everyone else’s Laodicean blindness. If that’s how God appoints prophets these days, it’s a wonder the Bible isn’t full of guys demanding “Didn’t so-and-so once say I might be special?”

Crackpot Bob adores Jesus’ “by their fruits you will know them” test. He boasts about CCOG growth (heavy on Africa), “restored truths,” and his unblemished record of zero false predictions.

Real fruits look like clarity, humility, unity, and protecting the flock. What we keep seeing are the same tired Armstrongist greatest hits — now starring Crackpot Bob: serious scandals in African congregations (allegations of adultery, witchcraft, arrests, and the usual defensive cover-up vibes), the endless “everyone else is compromised, only we have it right” superiority complex, and the same old legalistic fear machine.

In the actual New Covenant, believers don’t need a special class of dream-interpreting, mantle-claiming prophets issuing new restorations. Hebrews 1:1-2 drops the mic: God spoke through prophets in the past, but in these last days He has spoken by His Son. The Spirit was poured out on all flesh. The foundation was laid. The canon is closed. The priesthood of believers means you don’t need Bwana Bob as your personal end-times decoder ring.

Every COG splinter plays this game. Flurry has his no-contact tyranny and apostle cosplay. Pack had his endless date-setting circus in Wadsworth. Weinland had his prison sentence and legal troubles. Thiel sneers at them as false while doing the exact same dance with a slightly different agenda and longer blog posts. Pot, meet kettle — and both are calling each other Laodicean.

The most damning evidence is the article’s absurd length itself. A man secure in a genuine calling from God doesn’t need to birth a novella defending against one blog post. He doesn’t need to rehash his anointing story for the umpteenth time, list every private conversation like it’s Exhibit A in the Court of Divine Validation, attack his critic’s character, and pat himself on the back for “never posting a false prediction” while critics keep documenting the pattern.

That’s not bold prophetic witness. That’s a fragile ego in full meltdown mode, wrapped in Bible verses and delivered with the smug certainty of a man who just knows he’s the only one who gets it. Real biblical prophets were often reluctant, flawed, and opposed — but they didn’t crank out 10,966-word manifestos explaining why I was wrong and he is God’s special boy.

Crackpot Bob can quote HWA until the Tribulation starts. He can cling to Rod Meredith’s alleged phone blessings and his private “double portion” prayer like a security blanket. None of it makes him a prophet under any sane biblical standard — especially not in the New Covenant where Christ is sufficient.

Bob, if you were genuinely called as a prophet of the living God, you wouldn’t need a 10,966-word wall of text, tortured proof-texting, and a metaphorical (or literal) tube of Maximum Strength Butthurt Cream to soothe the sting of basic accountability. Your epic rebuttal doesn’t prove your calling. It proves the critics were right all along.

Apply liberally. The cream, that is. Your ego appears to need it in industrial quantities.

The real mincemeat here isn’t Armstrong’s quotes. It’s the towering pile of self-justification, selective memory, and unchecked ego Bwana Bob had to construct just to cope with basic criticism from a watchdog blog.

If this wall of words is the “greatest work” in the final phase, maybe the real deception isn’t the critics.

Maybe the emperor has been strutting around naked for years, and the only one still pretending otherwise is the guy holding the longest, most self-important fig leaf in COG history.

Readers, test everything. Especially the guys who need 10,000 words to prove they’re special.