“Take Your Meds, Napoleon”: Samuel Kitchen’s Epic Defense of Herbert Armstrong Involves Epstein, the Trans Movement, and a Dead Church That Totally Still Exists

Ladies, gentlemen, and whatever splinter-group remnant is still pretending Herbert Armstrong is alive and running things from beyond the grave, gather round. Samuel Kitchen has blessed us with yet another masterclass in Olympic-grade hypocrisy and weaponized delusion.

Samuel Kitchen wrote: 

(Quoting me) There would be no use or purpose for Banned by HWA if these COG groups didn’t exist.

You sensationalize their errors and abuses and spend your time redirecting blame back to Herbert W. Armstrong and the Worldwide Church of God.

It is hard to sensationalize the sheer stupidity at times that comes out of various COG groups these days. Copying and posting their own words lets the entire world see how degenerate Armstrongism has become. Every day, certain COG leaders sink lower and lower into the depths of depravity, each proudly boasting that all they know they learned at Herbert Armstrong’s feet—until God revealed new, hidden knowledge to them that he had been saving for these perilous end times.

Your mental condition is targeted towards a dead man and a Church you think is no more. When other churches trigger you, you roleplay your ‘Napoleon fixation’ again. That sounds like lunacy and something a mental ward would showcase.

You and Bob Thiel take yourselves far too seriously; I never have here. How can I take Armstrongism seriously when it is crazier than hell? All I can do most of the time is shake my head and laugh at some of the complete blather I read from ‘God’s Ministers.’

You can’t put those churches in their proper and right perspective. Not everyone is your devil. Your devil is Herbert Armstrong, and your fixation is a toxic fixation. You burn the effigy you keep in your mind again and again and again.

You are right, not every COG group is doing and saying bad things, though 90% of them are. There are those that work with children in Texas, those that work and do good in Africa and actually do a good work (unlike Bob Thiel’s vanity project). As for putting the churches in their proper and right perspective, what exactly would that be? There are hundreds and hundreds of splinter groups, each doing their own thing, all claiming they are the one and only way to truth and light, and yet not one of them can get along with the next, with some even telling their members which groups to stay away from, such as what you do.

No one was hurt by this Church. The actions that hurt people are actions condemned by this Church.

This is an absolute bald-faced lie, and you know it. Members have suffered greatly from marriage and divorce teachings, until Herb decided he wanted a new hottie to make him happy, and BANG, it all changed. The broken marriages and families torn apart before this were just collateral and swiftly cast aside.

Then some were scared to go to doctors, even for the smallest of things, due to the absurd teachings. If an anointed cloth could not be placed against their foreheads, then they suffered in pain and agony as martyrs for the truth, while Herb and crew went to doctors and were treated for all kinds of things. I was the one who was handed a suitcase that was full of medicine on January 16th, within hours after Herbert had died, and was told to go and burn it in the amphitheatre on campus.

Then there are the suicides of people whose lives had been so damaged by the church and its teachings that they could not bear to face another day. Being taught that we are all complete failures and are never good enough has a strong impact on the mental health of people. Add to that broken marriages, health issues, being gay, and even struggling with addictions to alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. All of these things added up to an unbearable weight that led people to do tragic things.

And then there are the children molested and raped by ministers and church members in the church. The church covered those up as fast as they could. Thankfully, some members took them to court and publicly humiliated them and the church.

I have found more abuses coming from the changes in the 1990s, because they started accepting the behaviors and actions that hurt people.

The abusers just lied and said ‘it was you, not me.’

And they came forward like the trans-movement. Then cried abuse and hate when people rejected their filth. Not only did they abuse people, but they created a pedophile environment. They targeted the kids. I have first-hand eyewitness [accounts] to how they targeted kids and how they tried to destroy families! The only thing that held us together in love and peace was the way Herbert W. Armstrong taught, and something my parents would not compromise on. 

 

Now the perverts accuse Mr. Armstrong falsely. But no, they are the pedophiles, and they fed thousands of kids into the Epstein System, because they wanted change to be accepted.

If you expect us to believe the wild and fantastical stories you have told about your family with the government conspiracies, people out to kill your family, and other absurdities, then you are delusional. It is quite obvious that there are mental health issues in your family that have gone untreated for decades. This is a shining example of what happens to people who lose all sense of reality and embrace a cultish system that tells people they are more special than anyone else in the world.

These splinter groups are just those who facilitate the perverts of this world. They are doing things the Worldwide Church of God condemns and disapproves of.

The Worldwide Church of God does not exist and is not condemning anything that it disapproves of. In your delusional state of mind, you have stolen the name Worldwide Church of God, pretending that it is now completely in your hands, that it is the only church with the true government of God (like your absurd flowchart pretends, and which you stole from church publications in the 1970s/80s). You have stolen and plagiarized as much church literature as possible, pretending that Herbert is still alive and a worldwide ministry is behind you. 

You will never be able to accomplish ANYTHING that even remotely resembles the old Worldwide Church of God, AICF, etc. You most certainly will never buy the auditorium and be able to afford to maintain it. Maintaining it will cost millions of dollars a year, and you will NEVER have that, even though you say Jesus has personally informed you that you can now collect tithe money. What a lying farce!

And we are still alive. While you go further into the ‘trans-movement’ and pedophile rings. We survived the merchandising of our bodies.

This is so stupid it doesn’t even deserve a comment.

Keep your eyes on the TV screen.Take your medication, because your fixation is living, baby! And we won’t be destroyed! 

 

Translation: “I can accuse you of running Epstein’s pedophile ring and being part of the trans agenda, but you are not allowed to have any dramatic stories about my own family or me, and if you do, you’re the crazy one.”

This is the level of intellectual and moral consistency we’ve come to expect from the last, gasping defenders of Armstrongism.

Samuel Kitchen didn’t just respond to a post.

He performed a live autopsy on his own credibility and then blamed the corpse for bleeding.

Keep your eyes on the TV screen, Samuel.

The rest of us will be over here, medicated or not, still laughing at the blather.

The Kenyan Loophole: Governments Are Satanic Unless One Of My Deacon's Is Already In One

Bob Thiel’s Satanic Government Problem

Bob Thiel has spent years teaching that human governments are corrupt, under the influence of Satan, and not worth participating in. True Christians, he insists, should stay separate from this world’s politics. They shouldn’t vote (unless forced), they shouldn’t serve on juries, and they certainly shouldn’t hold political office. Their job is to preach the coming Kingdom of God, not to climb into the governments of men.

That’s the official line. It’s printed in his own documents and repeated in sermons. Human politics is a trap. God’s people are ambassadors for a different kingdom.

Then there’s Kenya.

In Thiel’s African congregations, one of his own deacons — Bradox Ouma Ocheing — is openly referred to as “Hon. Bradox Ochieng,” a politician who holds public office. Church members there have no problem calling him both a CCOG deacon and a government official at the same time. Thiel knows about this, but yet coninues to make all kinds of excuses that Bradox is not elected. He has even done a sermon on “Hierarchical Governance and Corruption” in which he specifically names Bradox and his father Evans Ochieng.

Terry Nelson proved that Bradox Ouma Ocheing lied to Thiel about his involvement in the 2022 Kenyan election, and his father, Evans Ocheing, also lied and tried to cover up his son's involvement. A large sum of money was used to secure his MCA bid.

Sasha Veljic originally found out that Bradox Ouma Ocheing ran in the 2017 election. Bradox and his father tried to hide that from Thiel, but guessing that they were far enough away from Thiel and that he really did not care, they were bold enough to go ahead and have Deacon/Politician Bradox Ouma Ocheing run again in 2022. Bradox told Thiel that someone put his name on the ballot. Oops!

Bradox now isn't even hiding his 2027 bid for the same MCA Seat. 

All of the deacons under Evans admit they knew all about this, but they were afraid of what Evans and Bradox would do to them and their families (this is documented).

And yet the deacon stays in office. The politician stays a deacon. Business continues as usual.

This is the part where the hypocrisy becomes almost impressive in its shamelessness.

According to Thiel’s own teachings, the governments of this world are tools of Satan. They are the very systems Christians are supposed to come out of. But apparently that rule only applies if you’re in America or Europe. In Kenya, it seems perfectly acceptable for a church deacon to help run one of those Satanic governments — as long as he’s useful to the local CCOG operation.

Thiel doesn’t appear to have removed Bradox from his deacon role. He hasn’t issued any statement explaining why it’s suddenly fine for his members to participate in the corrupt human governments he constantly warns against. Instead, he gives sermons about “corruption” while the man remains both a church leader and a government official.

   

July 8 at 4:02 AM

Hon. Bradox Ochieng stands as a symbol of hope, unity, 

and transformative leadership for the people of Kosewe Ward. 

His humility, dedication, and genuine commitment to serving every resident 

have inspired confidence across the community. 

As the incoming MCA, he carries the vision of empowering youth, supporting women, improving education, strengthening healthcare, and driving sustainable development for all.

 

With wisdom, integrity, and a listening ear, Hon. Bradox Ochieng represents a brighter future 

where every voice matters and every opportunity is embraced. 

Together, Kosewe Ward is ready to move forward under his capable leadership 

toward lasting progress and shared prosperity.#Hon Bradox Ochieng

It’s a very convenient double standard. When Thiel needs African congregations to grow and provide numbers, money, and loyalty, the “stay out of worldly politics” rule gets quietly suspended. When he’s writing for his Western audience about how superior CCOG is to Protestant churches that encourage voting and civic involvement, the old hard line returns.

The result is simple: Bob Thiel’s “government of God” apparently has room for deacons who are also part of Satan’s governments — at least when those deacons are in Kenya and politically connected.

Either human government is a corrupt tool of Satan that Christians should avoid… or it isn’t. Thiel can’t have it both ways without looking like the rules only apply to people who aren’t currently useful to him.

Thiel has been accepting of all this bad and gross behavior from his African clergy.  Thiel claims he left the Living Church of God due to integrity issues, and yet, his church is far worse.   

That’s not prophetic leadership; it is the sign of a weak leader. It's just selective enforcement dressed up as a public relations snow job to make his church look superior to all the other COG's.

After 3½ Years of Tribulation, Bob and His Itty-Bitty Law-Enforcement Squad Will Finally Whip You Into Loving the Rules — No Elections Needed!

Herbert Armstrong’s “New Covenant”: Divine Dictatorship, Celestial Nepotism, and Why Bob Thiel Is Still Pretending It Makes Sense in 2026

God’s favorite crackpot is back. Bob Thiel, head of the tiny and improperly named "Continuing" Church of God splinter, has once again dusted off Herbert W. Armstrong’s dusty pamphlets to warn us that America (and the rest of the world, but mostly America) is about to endure 3½ years of hell so that, at the end of it, he and his microscopic band of law-enforcers can finally whip the survivors into shape. Then everyone will live happily ever after under “the New Covenant.”

Wait until you see what Armstrong actually called the New Covenant. It’s the kind of theological slop that makes you wonder why Armstrongism talks about it so rarely — because once you read it, the whole edifice starts looking like a cosmic HOA run by immortal busybodies who never got over being mocked due to Crackpot Bob's silly utterances.

Here’s Armstrong in his own words, from Tomorrow…What It Will Be Like (and repeated in Mystery of the Ages):

It will not be man’s government over man. Man has proven his utter incapability of ruling himself. 

It will be Divine Government — the Government of God. 

It will not be government from the bottom up. 

The people will have no votes. 

It will not be government of or by the people — but it will be government for the people. 

It will be government from the top (God Almighty) down.

There will be no election campaigns. No campaign fund-raising dinners. No dirty political campaigns…

No human will be given any government office. 

All in government service will then be Divine Spirit beings, in the Kingdom of God — the God Family.

All officials will be appointed — and by the Divine Christ, who reads and knows men’s hearts…

There will then be two kinds of beings on earth — humans, being ruled by those made divine. 

Some resurrected saints will rule over ten cities, some over five…

And then Herbert's definition of  the New Covenant:

What Is the New Covenant? 

In short, under the new Covenant which Christ is coming to usher in, what we shall see on earth is happiness, peace, abundance, and justice for all. Did you ever read just what this New Covenant will consist of? Did you suppose it will do away with God’s Law? Exactly the opposite. “For this is the covenant that Christ is coming to establish, you’ll read in Hebrews 8:10; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts…” 

 

When God’s Laws are in our hearts — when we love God’s ways, and in our hearts want to live by them, human nature will be put under subjection — people will want to live the Way that is the cause of peace, happiness, abundance, joyful well-being! 

 

But remember, the humans remaining on the earth after Christ’s return — ruled then by Christ and those resurrected or changed to immortality — will themselves still have human nature. They will be still unconverted. 

 

But Christ and the governing Kingdom of God, then set up as the Governing Family, will bring about the coming utopia by two basic courses of action. 

 

1) All crime, and organized rebellion will be put down by force — Divine supernatural force.

2) Christ will then set His hand to reeducate and to save or spiritually convert the world.

Let that sink in.

According to Armstrong, the New Covenant is not primarily about Christ’s once-for-all sacrifice, the indwelling Holy Spirit, or the forgiveness of sins through faith. No, no. It’s about setting up a post-apocalyptic theocracy where:

• Dead people who got the resurrection upgrade become your unelected, immortal bosses (along with true Philadelphian COG members).
• They “read your heart” like some kind of divine HR department with X-ray vision.
• You, the surviving mortal, still have the same sinful human nature Armstrong spent decades railing against.
• But don’t worry — the laws will be magically written on your heart so you’ll want to obey… while the immortals stand ready with “divine supernatural force” to crush any organized rebellion.

The continuation of the passage (which Thiel’s site also loves to quote) makes it even clearer: 

Christ and the saints will bring about utopia by two basic courses of action — (1) put down all crime and rebellion by divine force, and (2) re-educate everyone in God’s way. 

 

So the New Covenant, in this telling, is basically “We’ll beat the sin out of you until you love the rules.” Or, if that fails, the resurrected saints who rule over ten cities will handle it.

The actual New Covenant, as described in Jeremiah 31 and explained at length in Hebrews 8–10, is already in effect. It is not something Christ is “coming to establish” after a future tribulation. It was established by His blood on the cross. It is an internal transformation by the Holy Spirit for those who believe — not an external enforcement regime run by glorified humans lording it over unconverted mortals. The writer of Hebrews spends chapters showing how the New Covenant is superior precisely because it does not rely on the old system of external law and human (or even angelic) mediators in the same way.

Armstrong took a beautiful promise of heart-level change and turned it into a justification for a two-tier society: the immortal ruling class and the mortal peasant class who still need the rod of iron (Revelation 2:27, 12:5, 19:15) applied when necessary.

And he had the gall to call this the New Covenant.

Armstrong insists humans will still have human nature and be unconverted after Christ returns. Yet the New Covenant is supposedly writing God’s laws on their hearts so thoroughly that they’ll love righteousness.

If the laws are truly written on the heart by the Spirit, why do you still need immortal stormtroopers ready to use “divine supernatural force” against rebellion? If people still have unconverted human nature, how exactly are the laws “written in their hearts”? It’s theological whiplash. Armstrong wanted to keep his favorite doctrines (Sabbath, holy days, tithing, British-Israelism, the “government of God” hierarchy) while also claiming the New Covenant. So he just redefined the New Covenant as “the Millennium, but with extra law enforcement and resurrected middle managers.”

This is where it gets truly pathetic. Bob Thiel didn’t invent this stuff. He inherited a broken theological framework from a man who declared himself the end-time Elijah, built a personality cult, predicted the end of the world multiple times, and died in 1986 while his church promptly abandoned most of his distinctive teachings.

Instead of admitting that Armstrong’s eschatology was a house of cards built on proof-texting and British-Israel fan fiction, Thiel and his microscopic following treat every Armstrong pamphlet like holy writ. They repost this 1970s-era fever dream about immortal city-managers reading your heart and suppressing rebellion with supernatural force, and they call it “prophecy.”

It’s not prophecy. It’s nostalgia for a cult that promised its members they would be the ones ruling over ten cities while everyone else groveled. It’s the ultimate power fantasy dressed up in biblical language: “One day we will be the ones with all the authority and no one will be allowed to vote against us.”

The New Covenant was never about creating a permanent underclass of mortals ruled by an immortal elite. That’s just what happens when you let a radio preacher from the 1930s–80s rewrite the Bible to match his authoritarian personality and his followers’ desire to feel special.

So yes — it’s no wonder Armstrongism is “filled with ignorance on the topic.” 

They don’t talk much about the actual New Covenant because doing so would expose how thoroughly they’ve mangled it to preserve their own little theocratic daydream.

Bob Thiel can keep quoting the slop if he wants. The rest of us will stick with the version where the New Covenant is about grace, the Spirit, and a kingdom that doesn’t require resurrected bureaucrats to read your mind and decide whether you get to rule five cities or zero. 

That one actually sounds like good news. Armstrong’s version just sounds like hell.

Justification: Armstrongism’s Legalistic Distortion vs. the Freedom of the New Covenant

 

The governor’s words in the old Worldwide Church of God article still resonate: 

 

I know that you are guilty… but I believe that you are truly sorry… Therefore, I hereby pardon you… You now have a new lease on life.

It is a beautiful picture of justification — God declaring a guilty sinner righteous. Yet the article that follows, titled Justification: Your New Lease on Life (1986/87), takes this powerful biblical truth and subtly distorts it. 

While it uses much of the right language — grace, faith, and imputed righteousness — it ultimately adds conditions that turn the “new lease on life” into something far more fragile and human-dependent than Scripture teaches.

This is the heart of the problem with Armstrongism’s teaching on justification.

The article correctly states that justification involves forgiveness and the imputation of righteousness. It quotes key verses such as:

• Romans 3:28 — “a man is justified by faith apart from the deeds of the law.”
• Galatians 2:16 — “a man is not justified by the works of the law.”
• Ephesians 2:8 — “by grace… through faith.”

However, it immediately qualifies these truths with significant additions:

• Justification “requires repentance and keeping God’s law.”
• Sins are “finally forgiven” and justification occurs only at baptism.
• God “continues to justify” a person only as long as they strive to obey.
• Disobedience “can and will disqualify you.”
• It cites Romans 2:13 (“the doers of the law will be justified”) and Romans 3:31 to insist that law-keeping remains necessary.

In short, the article presents justification as the beginning of a process that depends on continued human effort — especially baptism and ongoing observance of “God’s law” (in the Armstrongist context, this included the Sabbath, holy days, tithing, and other Old Testament requirements).

Scripture presents a very different reality.Under the New Covenant established by Jesus’ blood (Jeremiah 31:31-34; Hebrews 8:6-13), justification is God’s one-time forensic declaration that a sinner is righteous. This declaration rests entirely on the finished work of Christ — His perfect life and atoning death — which is credited (imputed) to the believer.Key biblical truths include:

• Justification is by faith alone, apart from works of the law (Romans 3:28; Galatians 2:16; Romans 4:5).
• It is a completed act, not an ongoing process. “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God” (Romans 5:1).
• The believer’s standing is secure in Christ. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). True believers persevere because God preserves them (John 10:28-29; Philippians 1:6).
• Good works and obedience are the fruit of justification, never the root or the condition for maintaining it (Ephesians 2:10; James 2:14-26 explains that genuine faith produces works as evidence).

Under the New Covenant, the law is written on the heart by the Holy Spirit. Believers are not under the Mosaic Law as a system for righteousness (Romans 6:14; Galatians 5:18). The ceremonial and civil aspects of the Old Covenant are fulfilled in Christ (Colossians 2:14-17; Hebrews 7–10).

1. Baptism becomes a required work for justification

The article claims justification occurs only at baptism. Scripture teaches that justification happens the moment a person believes the gospel (Romans 5:1). Baptism is a command and a beautiful public declaration of faith, but it is not the instrument of justification. Cornelius and his household received the Holy Spirit (clear evidence of acceptance by God) before they were baptized (Acts 10:44-48).

2. Law-keeping is reintroduced as necessary

While the article quotes verses saying we are not justified by the law, it then insists we must keep “God’s law” or risk disqualification. This directly contradicts the New Covenant. Adding law-keeping as a requirement for right standing with God is the very error Paul confronted in Galatians: “You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law” (Galatians 5:4).

3. Justification is made conditional and ongoing

By teaching that God “continues to justify” only those who strive to obey and that disobedience can disqualify a person, the article blurs justification with sanctification and undermines assurance. In the New Covenant, justification is a past completed reality. Ongoing sin is dealt with through confession and Christ’s advocacy (1 John 1:9; 2:1), but the justified person’s legal standing before God remains secure.

4. Confusion between justification and sanctification

Armstrongism often treated these as overlapping or even interchangeable. Scripture keeps them distinct: 

• Justification = declared righteous (instant, by faith). 
• Sanctification = being made righteous in practice (progressive, by the Spirit).

5. Misuse of key passages

Romans 2:13 (“doers of the law will be justified”) is part of Paul’s argument showing that no one actually keeps the law perfectly — therefore everyone needs the righteousness that comes by faith (see the flow into Romans 3). Romans 3:31 (“we establish the law”) means the gospel upholds the law’s purpose, not that Christians must keep the Mosaic system for justification. 

 

The difference is not merely academic. Armstrongism’s view creates a religion of fear and performance. The “new lease on life” becomes something you can lose through insufficient obedience. The gospel of grace is subtly turned into a mixture of grace plus human effort.

The New Covenant offers something far better:

A complete pardon.

A perfect righteousness credited to your account.

A secure standing before God.

And the Holy Spirit who writes God’s law on your heart so that obedience flows from love, not fear.

The governor in the illustration offered a pardon based on his belief in the prisoner’s change of heart. In the gospel, God offers something infinitely greater — He offers the perfect righteousness of His Son, received by faith alone.

That is the true “new lease on life.”

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  Ephesians 2:8-9

The cross stands as the dividing line. On one side lies the heavy burden of law-keeping and conditional acceptance. On the other stands the finished work of Christ and the freedom of being justified by faith alone.

Choose the New Covenant. Rest in the finished work of Jesus. That is where the true new lease on life is found.

Updated image with the correction applied:The left side now correctly reads:
Law-Keeping
Baptism
Works
ObedienceThis better reflects the burden of additional requirements highlighted in the Armstrongist view of justification. The image is now ready to use with the article.