When the Revelation Isn't Frightening Enough:Crackpot Bob's End Times Fear Show

Crackpot Bob's Gospel of Fear: Germany Is Coming-So Keep Obeying!

A New Covenant Critique of Bob Thiel's Fixation on the End Times

By a Recovering Armstrongist follower

Bob Thiel has begun the first of a two-year project on subjecting his followers to his interpretation of the Book of Revelation. 

Typical of Armstrongist prophecy, he follows a stubbornly familiar pattern. Decades pass, predictions fail, and Herbert W. Armstrong's religious empire breaks into ever more splinter groups-yet the underlying formula barely changes.

Germany is on its way. The Great Tribulation draws near, and the Beast is getting ready to rise. The Church will have to endure. Before everything collapses, its members had better be certain they obey the right man.

Enter Crackpot Bob (affectionately called Bwana Bob by his African followers) with another installment from Armstrongism's end-times entertainment industry.

Apparently, Jesus Christ's gospel needs extra drama: a German invasion, a European dictator, horrifying prophetic scenarios, and a congregation fretting over whether its obedience will spare it from the worst. 

Welcome to the Continuing Church of God's prophetic-anxiety department. Bring your Bible, emergency supplies, and checkbook. The end is near. Again.

Armstrongism's most troubling feature may be the way it turns biblical prophecy into a tool for controlling believers.

The point is not merely to make Christians think about the future. Prophecy keeps catastrophe feeling close at hand, while suggesting that members' spiritual survival depends on their loyalty to the organization and its leaders.

The formula works with striking consistency: take a frightening event, tie it to a prophetic passage, and present it as proof that the organization's interpretation was right. Members are then urged to stay faithful and obedient, while being reminded that the Great Tribulation is still coming. But what happens when the prediction fails to unfold as expected? Never mind. Another prophecy is always available.

The issue is not Christians talking about Revelation. It begins when someone turns it into a threat, leaving people constantly afraid that they may not stand right with God. Paul described a very different promise in the New Covenant:

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7, KJV

A sound mind?

That idea seems awkward for an organization whose prophetic interpretation appears to depend on keeping its members in a constant state of alarm.

The Christian life should rest on faith, hope, love, and confidence in Christ-not on constant anxiety over whether the newest political shift in Europe signals the collapse of your spiritual life. Which brings us to the Germans, Armstrongism's preferred villains of the end times.

Armstrongism has long been drawn to the idea of a revived European empire. In Herbert W. Armstrong's prophetic framework, Germany and a broader European power stood at the heart of the coming Beast system. Over time, that reading sank so deeply into the movement's thinking that several generations of members interpreted European politics as signs of an approaching catastrophe.

Germany became more than a country; it turned into a prophetic fixation.

Want to understand the European Union, military cooperation across Europe, a new political leader, a financial crisis, or a dispute between European nations? Watch Germany. Somewhere, an Armstrongist prophecy enthusiast is likely scanning the latest German headlines and muttering, "This could be it!"

That is the absurd part: the prophetic narrative can absorb almost any development.

Whatever happens, the Armstrongist prophecy industry can claim vindication. A stronger Europe fulfills the prophecy; a weaker Europe does too. Germany's leadership counts as confirmation, while its failure to lead merely means the prophecy is waiting for the right moment. The only outcome that might genuinely surprise them is Germany remaining an ordinary country while the world ignores the organization's carefully constructed prophetic timetable.

What does the New Covenant say about this fixation? Jesus did not send His followers into the world to become professional German-watchers. He sent them to make disciples, love their neighbors, proclaim the gospel, and remain faithful.

Matthew 28:18-20 records the Great Commission. It does not say:

Go therefore, and monitor the German economy, the European Parliament, and every political development that might conceivably resemble Daniel's fourth beast.

Revelation was never meant to leave Christians terrified about what lies ahead. The book's real purpose deserves a closer look.

The opening verses identify this as a revelation from Jesus Christ. Its subject is not Germany, Crackpot Bob's interpretations, or the newest prophetic reading from an Armstrongist leader. The focus is Jesus Christ.

Revelation 1:1 begins:

The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass."

What, then, does John say when he sees Christ glorified? He collapses at Christ's feet. Jesus answers him:

Fear not; I am the first and the last. Revelation 1:17, KJV

The contrast is striking.

Armstrongist prophecy teachers often use this book to frighten people, yet it opens with the risen Christ telling John not to fear.

Revelation's final message is not a warning that Christians must fear the Beast.

The Lamb wins. Evil will not have the last word. God's kingdom will prevail, and Christ's people are called to remain faithful to him.

That stands far apart from the endless Armstrongist refrain: "The end is near. Germany is rising. Make sure you belong to the right organization."

Christ has already accomplished what Armstrongism keeps turning into a test.

Armstrongist theology repeatedly makes organizational obedience overshadow the believer's relationship with God. Yet the New Covenant rests on Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 8:6 says:

But now hath he obtained a more excellent ministry, by how much also he is the mediator of a better covenant, which was established upon better promises.

A better covenant.

Better promises.

A better mediator.

Not another set of predictions meant to provoke fear. Not an institution that expects blind loyalty. And not a religious survival plan that keeps warning its members they may suffer because their obedience has fallen short.

The New Covenant rests on what Jesus Christ has already completed. Paul writes in Romans 8:1:

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus.

That statement is remarkable.

No condemnation.

Not with a condition attached-such as correctly naming the next European dictator. And not on the condition that you stay loyal enough to Bob Thiel, Sam Kitchen, Dave Pack, Gerald Flurry, or any other COG minister or leader. Believers place their confidence in Christ.

Christians are not thereby excused from responsible living. The New Covenant calls believers to holiness, love, obedience, and good works-but these grow out of a changed life; they do not buy spiritual protection from an impending prophetic disaster.

Ephesians 2:8-10 draws the line clearly.

Salvation comes through grace by faith, not through anything we accomplish. Yet believers are created in Christ Jesus for good works.

That order matters: grace comes first, and Christ comes first. Christian living grows out of that relationship.

Armstrongism reverses that order: spiritual security becomes tied to obedience to its own reading of biblical law and prophecy. No wonder its members are afraid.

Will members who have sinned face the Great Tribulation? That question exposes a troubling part of the Armstrongist prophetic system.

Armstrongist circles often suggest that members who fall short of sufficient faithfulness could face the coming Great Tribulation. The nations and the wider world will suffer, and those who have not obeyed properly may suffer with them.

The New Covenant does not promise Christians protection from every catastrophe to come merely because they belong to the right organization. Nor does it say that suffering proves a Christian has failed a spiritual test. Jesus rejected that simplistic explanation outright.

In Luke 13:1-5, Jesus challenged the idea that tragedy proves a person's spiritual failure. Rather than speculate about who deserved such suffering, He urged His listeners to repent.

In John 9:1-3, Jesus challenged the belief that the man's suffering had to come from his own sin or from his parents' sins.

The New Covenant does not authorize religious leaders to explain every tragedy as proof of someone else's spiritual failure. Nor does it permit them to frighten members with the claim that any terrible event means they could be next.

Christians have never been strangers to suffering. The apostles endured it, as did the early church, and believers across history have faced it too.

Believing in Christ does not promise a life without suffering. Romans 8:35-39 states the point plainly: no hardship can cut believers off from God's love.

Paul never says Christians will avoid tribulation. His claim is different: nothing can sever believers from God's love in Christ Jesus. That is the hope of the New Covenant.

It does not rest on belonging to the right organization or finding some prophetic way out.

Let's be honest. Fear is a powerful motivator.

People may silence their own questions, put up with harmful leaders, and stay committed despite serious doubts when they believe disaster awaits anyone who leaves a particular religious organization.

The Great Tribulation can be used as a spiritual leash.

Question the leader, and you may be told that you are abandoning God's true church. Leave the organization, and the warning may shift to the loss of spiritual protection. Challenge the latest prophetic interpretation, and your faithfulness itself may be called into question.

Already worried about your salvation? There is another prophecy waiting to trouble you. That creates a system where religious anxiety keeps feeding itself.

The member fears what lies ahead, while the organization supplies an explanation. Reassurance then comes from the same source that keeps interpreting the future, making the member increasingly dependent on it.

What a convenient arrangement. Only a subscription service is missing.

Perhaps Bwana Bob could call it:

The Great Tribulation Survival Package: Monthly Prophecy Updates, Spiritual Anxiety, and Premium German Watching.

Yes, it's satire. The issue underneath it isn't.

The New Covenant calls believers to freedom in Christ.

Galatians 5:1 says:

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

That freedom does not release anyone from love, responsibility, or holiness. Christ has broken the condemnation and bondage that once held people captive; believers are also free from religious systems that try to bind them again through fear.

The Gospel is not an end-time emergency broadcast!

One tragic result of Armstrongist fixation on prophecy is that it can bury the gospel itself. Jesus announced the kingdom of God, calling people to repent and receive forgiveness while showing mercy and restoring humanity's relationship with God. He healed the sick and welcomed sinners. His followers were told to love one another-even their enemies-and He gave His life to save the world.

Yet in the Armstrongist prophetic universe, the message can end up sounding like this:

"Look at Germany!"

"Look at Europe!"

"Look at the Beast!"

"Look at the coming tribulation!"

"Look at the latest prophetic development!"

Eventually, the question becomes unavoidable: where is Jesus in all of this? Not Jesus reduced to a prophetic symbol or placed somewhere on a future timeline, but Jesus as the living Savior, mediator of the New Covenant, and the source of believers' hope.

The apostle Paul wrote:

For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified. 1 Corinthians 2:2, KJV

That verse creates an awkward problem for a religious movement with an apparently endless interest in prophetic speculation. Paul kept his message centered on Christ crucified.

His sacrifice established the New Covenant, while His resurrection gives believers their hope. Christian life rests on faith in Him.

Germany is not where the gospel centers. Nor is Bob Thiel. The Continuing Church of God does not stand at its heart. Jesus Christ does.

The Final Irony: Revelation Ends with Hope, Not Bob Thiel

The book of Revelation ends with God's victory over evil and the promise that creation will be made new.

Revelation 21:4 declares:

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain.

That is the Christian hope in its fullest sense.

It is not endless terror or a life spent fearing what comes next. Nor does it require constant doubt over whether someone has correctly identified the next prophetic development.

Through Jesus Christ, God will restore all things. Revelation 22:17 extends the invitation:

The Spirit and the bride say, 'Come.' Let anyone who hears them repeat the invitation. If you are thirsty, come; whoever wishes may take the water of life freely.

Freely.

That is the language of grace.

The water of life is not a prize for reading European politics correctly, nor for surviving a religious organization's endless prophetic trials.

It is given freely. That alone sets the New Covenant apart from the Armstrongist fear machine.

The world's problems are real. So is war. So is suffering. And human sin is real.

Christians should take Jesus' teachings seriously. Still, biblical prophecy should not be used to frighten people or control an organization, as though it held the answer to the world's problems.

The answer is found in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Through the New Covenant, believers receive forgiveness and reconciliation, along with the freedom and hope to live differently. They are called to love God and their neighbors, remaining faithful in the present instead of getting lost in speculation about the future. Their confidence rests on Christ-not on predictions made by religious leaders.

Crackpot Bob, watch Germany if you insist. Study European politics. Make your prophetic videos. Just stop presenting your reading of the future as though it were the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The New Covenant does not offer a plan for surviving a German invasion. Nor does it ask believers to live on a subscription of religious fear or keep proving that they deserve God's protection.

The gospel is good news: Jesus Christ has done for sinful humanity what it could never do on its own.

Revelation's final message is not the Beast's victory.

The Lamb wins.

The Germans are not the gospel; neither are the Great Tribulation or Bob Thiel's words.

Jesus Christ is.

From the Flint River Trail to the Kingdom of God: A Tour of Organizational Salvation

In his latest video, "The Church is Essential For Salvation," Samuel Kitchen presents salvation through a distinctly Armstrongist gatekeeping lens: it depends on belonging to his version of the Worldwide Church of God remnant, remaining loyal to Herbert W. Armstrong's "one man at a time" hierarchy, and taking part in "the work" within that system.

In his video, filmed along the Flint River trail in Burlington, Iowa, Kitchen says the WCG is a spiritual organism led by Christ. People, he argues, were not called merely "to get saved"; through the organized work, they were being trained as kings and priests. He describes those who left after 1986, including GCI and the splinter groups, as having abandoned the true church for "Babylon." He says independent believers have been cut off from the Holy Spirit and will eventually hear, "I never knew you." Kitchen also claims that God works through only one man, or apostle, at a time, under a theocracy to which believers must surrender. He cites Hebrews 10:25 against forsaking assembly and portrays critics as shadowy or demonic.

Samuel's argument breaks down when he puts an organization-and the system created by a dead man-in Christ's place. Kitchen treats "the Church" as the particular historical WCG structure restored through HWA and now carried on by people like him. Scripture, however, calls the Church Christ's body: everyone who belongs to Him through faith (Ephesians 1:22-23; Colossians 1:18; 1 Corinthians 12:12-13). Belonging to a corporation, a mailing list, or an Iowa-based remnant does not determine that membership. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). He did not say, "except through the Worldwide Church of God archives and the current authorized tithe recipient."

It makes salvation depend on loyalty to the organization and participation in its work. Statements such as "independent Christians will not make the kingdom" and "the Holy Spirit is cut off from them," along with the demand to remain in the organized work under the hierarchy, place the group between believers and God. That conflicts with the New Testament's plain teaching: "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9). Scripture says that people are justified by faith apart from works of the law (Romans 3:28; Galatians 2:16; Titus 3:5). Christ's completed work is enough. To add, "You must belong to this church and submit to this authority, or the Spirit is cut off," amounts to another gospel (Galatians 1:6-9).

The "one man at a time" theocracy came from HWA's authoritarian system, not from Scripture. Kitchen repeats the familiar Armstrongist argument that God works through one apostle rather than through committees or the congregation, leaving members no say in who leads them. That claim supported HWA's control. Nothing in the Bible identifies Herbert Armstrong as an end-time apostle who restored "all" truth after 1,900 years of darkness-especially when his predictions failed, and his distinctive doctrines do not withstand scrutiny. The New Testament instead shows plural leadership, with elders and overseers serving in multiple places under Christ as Head. It does not present one human gatekeeper whose writings must be obeyed for salvation.

Samuel mistakes the result of salvation for its means. Acts 2:47 says that the Lord added to the church those who were being saved. The church consists of people Christ has redeemed; it does not redeem them. Trusting Christ comes first, and belonging to His body follows. No one must join the correct post-1986 remnant or avoid every "splinter" to meet that condition. Hebrews 10:25 urges believers to encourage one another, not to prove that only Kitchen's group qualifies as an assembly. Matthew 18:20 remains clear: when two or three gather in His name, He is present.

Exclusivity feeds the demonization. Anyone who leaves the old WCG structure or voices disagreement can be branded an apostate, said to be in Babylon, influenced by spirits in disguise, or accused of promoting doctrines of demons. The pattern is familiar in cultic groups: once a community declares itself the only true body, leaving or criticizing it becomes proof that the critic stands outside the Spirit. Kitchen's own history-marked by family disputes over channels, control, and claims of "restoration"-makes those assertions about the "one true church" look deeply human and precarious.

Salvation comes from God as a free gift, received through faith in Jesus and what he completed: a perfect life, an atoning death, and resurrection. "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12). The New Covenant does not revive Sinai's system of law-keeping joined to loyalty toward an organization. It applies Christ's work to believers through the Spirit (Hebrews 8-10; Romans 8). The church exists because people have been saved; it is not what saves them. Christ saves the body (Ephesians 5:23), never the reverse-not the body, nor any human part of it, saving Christ.

Kitchen's version takes the old Roman Catholic formula "extra ecclesiam nulla salus"-outside the church there is no salvation-and recasts it in an Armstrongist form. According to that view, anyone outside our church, still organized around HWA's teachings and currently operating from Iowa, lacks genuine salvation and the Spirit. But that is not the gospel. It puts one human religious stream, marked by failed dates, unusual doctrines, and internal power struggles, above the sufficiency of Christ.

The video has 14 views, and its repeated calls to "hold fast" to the old structure do not alter what the Bible says: Jesus saves, not organizations.

Alton Billingsley’s Perfect Prophetic Batting Average: Still .000 and a New Covenant That Arrives Fashionably Late

The Church of God Faithful Flock (CGFF), based in the Modesto-Valley Springs-Lodi area of California, is a small post-Worldwide Church of God splinter. It claims to be the only group that remained true to Herbert W. Armstrong's restored teachings. Of course it does! Every single COG splinter group claims the same thing. Alton B. "Don" Billingsley has led it since its founding. A World War II infantry veteran, Billingsley joined the Radio/Worldwide Church of God in 1953 and worked at Ambassador College, where one of his jobs was chauffeur. He was later ordained an elder, but left the WCG orbit after the Tkach changes. 

Before starting CGFF, he briefly associated with the United Church of God and David Hulme's group. The group runs cog-ff.com and a YouTube channel, and publishes magazines and booklets promoting HWA materials, online Sabbath services, and the claim that HWA was the end-time Elijah who restored all things. Like Crackpot Bob's organization, it is tiny and has produced repeated failed prophecies. Its record sits alongside Crackpot Bob's own failures.

Like many tiny COG groups, CGFF operates as a remnant church and claims to be the authentic Philadelphia-era body, preserving Armstrong's doctrines with "no departures." Billingsley, however, has spent years making specific public prophecies that never came true. Some earlier writings predicted that Hillary Clinton would become president and, in certain versions, be executed around 2023. A statement from around 2021, that we posted here on  Banned included:

• A famine begins near Passover 2023 and lasts 3½ years across America, Britain, and the "Israelite" nations.
• In 2024, the devil releases "Assyria-Germany" from the bottomless pit, leading to the emergence of the Holy Roman Empire.
• America and related nations face severe famine, pestilence-with COVID mutating into the black plague-and widespread destruction, particularly in 2026. Nuclear warfare follows.
• Around 2029, Jesus Christ stands on the earth.

Recent commentary still points to 2026 as a catastrophic year for America and Britain, sometimes linking the date to the 9th of Av / Tisha B'Av and predicting the end of those nations in their present form. Other versions place the Day of the Lord, or similar end-time events, somewhere in the latter half of 2028. Armstrongite circles have seen this pattern before: elaborate timelines miss their marks, then get revised or quietly abandoned when nothing happens. Deuteronomy 18:22 remains plain on the point-if a prediction fails, the Lord did not speak it.

Billingsley also argues that the New Covenant will not begin until Christ returns and that, during the Millennium, it will focus entirely on the law-specifically, the Ten Commandments. That claim reflects a classic Armstrongite delay tactic: it keeps the church under continuing law-keeping requirements while deferring the New Covenant's full benefits and character to the Millennium. Biblically, the position cannot stand.

Scripture presents Christ's first coming as the beginning of the New Covenant; His blood sealed it, and believers now live under it:

At the Last Supper, Jesus said, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you" (Luke 22:20; cf. Matthew 26:28, 1 Corinthians 11:25). 

He spoke of a covenant already established through his blood-not a promise postponed until the Second Coming.

Hebrews 8-10 treats the New Covenant as something already in force. Christ mediates this superior covenant (Hebrews 8:6), while the old one has become obsolete and is close to disappearing (Hebrews 8:13). God now writes his laws on believers' hearts and minds (Hebrews 8:10; 10:16, quoting Jeremiah 31), no longer remembers their sins, and grants them direct access through Jesus' blood (Hebrews 10:19-22). The writer is addressing believers in the present, not describing a future millennial administration.

2 Corinthians 3 sets the old covenant's ministry-its letter engraved on stone, which kills-against the new covenant's ministry of the Spirit, which already gives life and liberty. Paul and his coworkers are already "ministers of a new covenant" (2 Corinthians 3:6).

The Spirit is the deposit guaranteeing what is to come (2 Corinthians 1:22; 5:5; Ephesians 1:13-14). Through the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus, believers have been freed from sin's law and death (Romans 8:2).

The New Covenant is not a future reboot of the Mosaic order, with the Ten Commandments once again at its center after Christ returns. Jeremiah 31 and Ezekiel 36 speak of a new heart, a new spirit, and change written within God's people. According to the New Testament, those promises are fulfilled during the church age through the indwelling Spirit; they are not held over for the Millennium. Galatians and Romans state plainly that believers no longer live under the law as a system of justification or covenant administration (Galatians 3:23-25; 5:18; Romans 6:14; 7:6). The law functioned as a tutor who pointed people to Christ, but that role ended when faith came. Its moral substance did not disappear-love fulfills the law (Romans 13:8-10; Galatians 5:14). What now governs the covenant is Christ, His finished work, and the Spirit-not a renewed return to stone tablets.

Saying that the New Covenant must wait for Christ's return leaves people living under the Old Covenant's system of performance and fear, as though genuine transformation and freedom belong to some later time. That claim also diminishes what believers already possess: justification by faith, the indwelling Spirit, and the better promises now in effect. Much of Hebrews argues the opposite-that Christ has already established something superior. Moving that reality to the Second Coming turns the epistle's argument on its head.

Billingsley's failed timelines and delayed-covenant theology follow the wider Armstrongite pattern: prophetic urgency keeps being reset, while a legalistic framework rejects the plain teaching that the New Covenant has already begun through the risen Christ and rests on grace and the Spirit, not on some future law-centered regime. The scriptures cited above leave little room for claiming that the New Covenant has yet to begin.

Silent Pilgrim

Crackpot Bob’s Slow-Motion Apocalypse: One Sermon a Month on the Book of Revelation Until the Headlines Cooperate

It is another sunny day in the whack-a-doodle world of Armstrongism. Never a day goes by without some fresh batch of craziness vomiting itself onto the internet for the remaining handful of true believers to marinate in. This week's double feature comes straight from the Grover Beach headquarters of Crackpot Bob Thiel, self-anointed prophet, Ph.D. in something-or-other, and proud owner of the world's most flexible end-time chart.

In his latest letter to the faithful, Bob announces the next phase of his "Going Thru the Bible" plan. After supposedly covering every verse of 26 of the 27 New Testament books (a claim that would make any competent scholar laugh until they needed oxygen), he is now launching a brand-new series: Revealing Revelation. The goal? Cover every single verse of the Book of Revelation.

Here's the catch, straight from the man himself:

Unlike the previous series on other books of the Bible, I only expect to cover perhaps one sermon per month or so related to the Book of Revelation. Why? Well, for one, I do not want to rush the process. And for another, we may be seeing the fulfillment of certain prophesied events which will allow me to better see how certain events may tie in with prophecies in the Book of Revelation.

Translation: Bob does not actually know how the end-time sequence works, so he needs to drag this out for over two years while he watches the news and rewrites his timeline on the fly. The bouncing and flouncing will be legendary. Expect endless "this could be the beginning of sorrows... or not... let's wait and see what happens next month" sermons while the tiny flock is told that slow-walking the Apocalypse is somehow deep biblical scholarship.

Once the series finally limps across the finish line (sometime around 2028, give or take a failed prophecy or two), Bob hints that "we may produce a book on this." Of course he will. Books are Crackpot Bob's love language. Nothing says "I have unique insight that no one else in Church of God history has possessed" quite like another self-published booklet that will be translated into however many languages the next press release claims.

Speaking of books, the same letter pivots to the real star of the show: The Gospel of the Kingdom of God. Joan Galloway reported that it is now available in 125 languages online, with more in the works. (Earlier CCOG material has inflated the number into the hundreds or even "nearly 2,000 languages/dialects." Pick a number, brethren-the important thing is that it sounds impressive.) Bob then quotes Revelation 5:8-10, Revelation 7:9-11, and Romans 14:11 to argue that these translations will somehow produce "massive numbers of followers from all over and in all languages" right before the Tribulation.

In other words, the actual gospel of Jesus Christ is apparently insufficient. What the world has been missing all this time is Bob Thiel's booklet. The four living creatures and the twenty-four elders are presumably on standby, waiting for the next language drop so the great multitude can finally show up.

It is genuinely impressive how Armstrongist ministers can present themselves as profound biblical scholars while repeatedly demonstrating the opposite. Bob is not revealing Revelation. He is stretching it out so he can keep adjusting his private interpretations whenever the headlines refuse to cooperate with the script he inherited and then modified. The book is not about to gather the nations. It is about keeping a shrinking group convinced that their particular leader still has the "open door" and the special insight everyone else lacks.

Two years of monthly Revelation sermons while the prophet waits for world events to catch up to his chart is not careful scholarship. It is a slow-motion admission that the system does not work the way it was sold. And the multilingual booklet is not evidence of a unique end-time work. It is marketing.

Welcome to another week in Armstrongism. The bouncing continues. The flouncing is scheduled. And the book will be updated as needed.

LCG: Millennial Preview Complete—Now Return to Your Regularly Scheduled Trials

Here we are, barely a week or so after the final notes of "God Be With You Till We Meet Again" died away and the metal chairs from the Last Great Day were stored away. Thousands of Living Church of God members have gone home from their carefully arranged eight-day preview of the Millennium-complete with elaborate meals, smiling photographs, and sermons about ruling as kings and priests, and collided with the same old world they had left behind. Car repairs held off until the second tithe was gone. Jobs that never stopped for the Feast. Medical bills. Family drama. Ordinary life, which no amount of "rejoice before the Lord" can postpone indefinitely.

Right on cue, the leadership brings out its familiar script: Douglas S. Winnail's repeat piece:

God's Perspective on Trials

Trials can make us wonder whether God has abandoned us. Jesus gave His disciples a different assurance: "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). God has promised never to leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). The Apostle Paul adds that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28), and that God provides a "way of escape" even during trials (1 Corinthians 10:13). Douglas S. Winnail urged Christians to give thanks even during trials. James taught that such hardships can strengthen our patience as we trust God and His promises while working through the difficulties ourselves (James 1:2-4). Let's keep that godly perspective when trials come.

How reassuring-and how carefully restrained. It could hardly be more different from the fear that has powered Armstrongism for decades.

Because in the real trenches of LCG-and, before it, its mother church, the Worldwide Church of God-trials rarely get explained as the ordinary pain of living in a broken world, the kind of tribulation Jesus already said people would face. Instead, they are treated as personal diagnoses and punishments. You caused this somehow. Perhaps your faith was too weak, some hidden sin remained, you lacked zeal for the Work, or you failed to tithe correctly-maybe even to double-tithe or third-tithe when the chance appeared. Perhaps you did not pray enough or held the wrong attitude toward the ministry. The possibilities never run out, but the message stays fixed: God is disciplining you until you submit, preparing you to qualify for the future rulership you spent the past week imagining.

Winnail's "godly perspective" is the version presented to the public. Members often hear something less polished in counseling, sermons, or the unspoken judgment of their peers: suffering should send you searching your own conduct. What did you do wrong? For eight days, the same system portrayed life under Christ's rule as perfect harmony; afterward, when ordinary troubles return, it suggests that the problem may be your failure to measure up. The Feast was only the trailer. The trials remind you that the full feature still depends on greater obedience, sacrifice, and loyalty to the organization that claims to hold the keys.

Armstrongism has long depended on that tension. The Holy Days bring an emotional high, and when the feeling fades, the disappointment gets blamed on personal failure. People are pushed to search themselves for the reason their lives hurt rather than question the doctrines, the hierarchy, or the plain truth that life is difficult for everyone-Feast-goers and "worldly" people alike. James 1 and Romans 8 can then sound less like sources of comfort than quiet evaluations: patience supposedly proves the trial is working; if relief does not come soon enough, perhaps the person has failed to cooperate with the process.

Members return from "millennial bliss" and run into ordinary life: an opened bill, a doctor's appointment, or a bank balance reduced by the second tithe. Then the old reflex takes over. What did I do wrong? Leaders may quote soothing scripture, but the deeper culture keeps delivering its older, more effective message: suffering means the person sinned-or failed to be spiritual enough-and the remedy is more of the same program that created the problem.

The Feast photos and opening-night services mean little to the world outside. Life simply moves on. A week later, LCG members are again hearing that their bruises are mostly their own fault, even as they're urged to count it all joy and keep their attention on the mission. 

This is the COG, after all.

Christ Personally Appointed Me to Empty Your Wallet: Samuel Kitchen’s Verse-Powered Shakedown

Children of the corn, the COG version

Concerned members have seen this show before. The verses are real. The application is not. The storehouse is not a PO Box in Iowa. And no amount of Malachi citations turns a self-appointed collector into the mouth of God.

Samuel Kitchen claims to have found what the apostles somehow missed: that your salvation, your ability to endure, and your children's safety hinge on sending checks to a PO Box in Fairfield, Iowa, addressed to "Support Services of the Worldwide Church of God"-or to him personally. Stop "returning" the tithes, he warns, and Satan the Devourer will come for you and the kids. The Great Tribulation, apparently, has your invitation in hand. He says the Bible supports it, provided you squint and disregard the New Covenant.

Kitchen has turned a sizable collection of Bible verses into a weapon, using them to pressure COG members into handing over their money. Malachi 3:8-12 sits at the center of his case: "Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me... in tithes and offerings." The passage says to bring every tithe into the storehouse so that "my house" has meat; in return, the Lord will open heaven's windows and rebuke the devourer (Mal. 3:11). Kitchen's definition of that storehouse shifts as needed. At different times, it becomes his own checking account-authorized by a Philippine elder's letter-the spiritual temple represented by his reconstituted WCG, or Haggai's barn, where the seed, naturally, stands for the Holy Spirit. Faith in Christ's finished work does not rebuke the devourer here; giving money to Kitchen's operation does. If you refuse, the devourer remains unrebuked and is unleashed on you and your children.

He wraps himself in Jeremiah 15:19-21: "If thou return, then will I bring thee again... thou shalt be as my mouth... I will make thee unto this people a fenced brasen wall... I will deliver thee out of the hand of the wicked." Kitchen treats the passage as both a ticket to safety and a demand for payment. Return to the WCG-meaning, send money to Sam-separate the precious from the vile-meaning, stop backing those other COG groups-and you may stand before the Lord while Satan is rebuked. Refuse, and the warning turns brutal: "YOU WILL NOT ENDURE! You will be delivered to Satan the Devil, and HE WILL DEVOUR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The expensive house is dismissed as worthless. Earlier donations to other groups supposedly enriched Babylon, and the talent will be taken away. Life and death are presented as a choice: pick the PO Box.

Genealogy settles the argument, Kitchen claims. He traces his line through Joseph of Arimathea, the house of Josiah-Hen, Zerubbabel, and even Herbert W. Armstrong by way of Siward Bjorn. Zechariah 6 instructs people to bring gold and silver to the house of Josiah, son of Zephaniah; Kitchen identifies himself with that house. From there, he concludes that the three tithes restore the temple through him. Christ builds His Church and appoints its officers, so, in Kitchen's view, He placed this man in the body. To challenge that appointment is therefore to challenge Jesus, insult the King of Kings, and reject the claim that the man washing windows-or holding whatever job he has that day-was personally installed by the Head of the Church. Before Kitchen was ordained, an elder in the Philippines once sent a letter authorizing him to receive tithes. That letter takes precedence over the New Testament's plain teaching that giving should be voluntary and cheerful, "not under compulsion" (2 Cor. 9:7). Even after the elder who issued it moved on, the authorization somehow endured-much like a marriage or ordination that never expires when money is at stake.

This is intimidation disguised as proof-texting, not gentle pastoral advice. The tiny following is told that refusing to join or finance the operation amounts to robbing God, rejecting the restored WCG, and exposing the entire family to the devourer. The actual New Covenant receives no such attention: Christ is the once-for-all High Priest, His body is the temple, and righteousness comes through faith rather than law-keeping or loyalty to an organization. Hebrews calls the first covenant obsolete. Kitchen, however, wants it revived-with himself cast as a modern Zerubbabel, gathering the gold and silver.

This pattern has been around for years: failed prophecies, claims of special authority, a mysterious letter, Bible verses stripped from their context, and threats that your children will suffer if the payments stop. Kitchen is hardly the first person to use it, and he will not be the last. What sets him apart is the tiny scale of the operation-and the enormous claim attached to it: your salvation supposedly depends on sending your money back to his storehouse.

If heaven opens only when money reaches Fairfield, and the devourer stays away only while the bank balance rises, then the gospel has become a subscription service. The brethren are not being fed. A man is shaking them down, turning "bring the tithe" into "bring it to me-or else."

Bill Watson: Cannibalizing the Competition, One Rebranded DVD at a Time

What’s Mine Is Mine, and What’s Yours Is Mine!

Lonnie Hendrix

Pastor Bill Watson of the newly minted Church of God Independent Ministries of Medina, Ohio, has apparently decided to void the commandment against stealing! In short, he has decided to use material on his website that was produced under the auspices of his former employer, the Church of God International of Tyler, Texas. Indeed, it appears that Bill believes that he is entitled to use whatever materials he was personally associated with from his former association (even though he was a paid employee of that organization). This will, of course, remind many of us of what Gerald Flurry did with many of the publications of the old Worldwide Church of God when he began using them in connection with his Philadelphia Church of God.

Poor Bill, apparently the talent pool in Medina is so limited and lackluster that he feels the need to “borrow” these materials and rebrand them to support his own “work.” As of last night and this morning, he has presented on his website two programs from the Tyler organization to support his own independent ministry! They are: Halloween: Is it Christian? and Chronicles of the Early New Testament Church. Although my father (Wayne Hendrix) and Bronson James were credentialed ministers of the Church of God International and died before Bill left that organization, Bill feels that these productions rightly belong to him. Not to mention the fact that Vance Stinson, the current leader of the Tyler group, also appears prominently in the historical feature on the early Church! Never mind, Bill worked on and appeared in both, so they’re HIS to use however he sees fit!

I contacted the leadership of the Church of God International to ask them why they were allowing Bill to use these materials. Did they make a present of them to Bill when he left their organization? One of the current leaders responded that they were not previously aware that Bill was using these programs, and that they were “drafting a takedown notice.” I’m wondering how Bill will react to that. I guess we’ll all have to wait and see what Bill does next. Will he continue to steal programming from his former employer? Or will he get those old creative juices flowing again and produce something “new” for his own organization? After all, Bill is still busily trying to cannibalize members from the folks in Tyler, and what better way to do it than with their own programming!!!!! Take that, you infidels!

After I had finished this post, Mr. Stinson said that he was unaware of Bill’s use of their material. A little later, this policy note was issued by that organization:

 

 

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