Friday, September 10, 2021

LCG: With The Field's White For Harvest Its Gospel Message Is Attracting Amazing Numbers Of Potential Tithe Payers

The fields are white for harvest...

It is absolutely amazing the number of people that LCG's Tomorrow's World presentation is attracting. There is no other Church of God that is able to attract potential tithe payers like LCG does!

They recently held 5 presentations in the following cities: Ft Lauderdale, Dothan, and La Porte.

With a combined population of 269,912 (2019 census), the amazing presentations garnered 24 guests! 

Absolutely mind-boggling! Angels are shouting with glory in heaven! 

Oh wait, only 6 were new guests that showed up. 


591 Tomorrow’s World Presentations Guests So Far This Year

While Feast preparation is turning the last lap, we have also been completing some follow-up Tomorrow’s World presentations recently. In the last couple of weeks, five events were held in the cities of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida; Dothan, Alabama; and La Porte, Indiana, with a total of 24 guests (18 repeat guests and six new guests). That brings our year-to-date total to 591 guests attending 54 TWPs in 2021. Thank you for your prayers for these exciting events and the guests who are learning about the Truth and coming back for more. Your continued prayers would be much appreciated, so that God would open even more doors for us to reach many more!

LCG: With the Pandemic Causing Issues Around the World, Members Are Encouraged To Pray Like Never Before

Living Church of God Feast of Tabernacles...Nay, a booth in sight.

With some Feast sites closed due to covid restrictions, Gerald Weston wants members to pray like they never have before because apparently some of them do not have the sense to stay home if they are sick or feeling bad. After decades of being forced by ministers to come to church no matter what (because God supposedly demands it) members still feel they need to attend services no matter what. But, no matter what, have an inspiring, uplifting, and instructive Feast!

Greetings from Charlotte,

Let all of us be thankful if we are able to attend the Feast in person this year. The United Kingdom, Europe, and Africa are expected to have 24 Festival sites, as members are not able to freely cross some borders due to COVID-19. Vaccine mandates are forcing some members to remain in locations where we do not have a minister. On the positive side, South Africa may be loosening restrictions, which will allow larger gatherings. Mr. Herbert Armstrong used to say, “Pray as though it all depends on God, and do your part as though it all depends on you.” Brethren, during this trying time, we can and we must go to our Creator and faithfully pray for Him to do that which we cannot do for ourselves. We must then do what we can do. Perhaps the most important individual act we can do, besides heartfelt prayer, is to take personal responsibility by not attending services and activities if we have any kind of symptoms of illness. Whether it is a cold, a flu, or COVID—any symptoms that could mean sickness of any contagious kind—the Golden Rule dictates that we ought not expose others to it (Matthew 7:12). Masks and social distancing will not undo a careless lack of concern for others. We hope you had an inspiring Feast of Trumpets, and pray that the remaining Festivals of 2021 are inspiring, uplifting, and instructive.—Gerald Weston

Prophet Thiel Asks: What kind of sport is NFL football? A violent and damaging one. One that will hurt people this season.

Prophet Thiel says...

"Many non-Philadelphian Christians do not wish to seriously consider that American tackle football is harmful, despite the facts, and would prefer that I not post about it.
The Bible suggests otherwise: 

1 Cry aloud, spare not;
Lift up your voice like a trumpet;
Tell My people their transgression,
And the house of Jacob their sins. (Isaiah 58:1) 

The reality is that American tackle football is evil–the players get harmed. This really is not debatable as it is an established fact."

NOTE: I would suggest that pretending to be a prophet of the One True Church is equally evil--the members get harmed. This reality is not debatable as it is an established fact...

NFL 2021 season to begin–people will be hurt


The National Football League (NFL) season is upon us. Despite COVID concerns, it was not cancelled:

LCG: Still Pretending To Deliver A Powerful Warning Message

The Role of a Watchman: Many churches today feel their mission is to tell the world that God loves them and that Jesus came to save sinners. Yet, there is much more to the biblical mission of God’s Church. Jesus told His disciples to be alert and watch for events that will mark the approaching end of the age and His return (Matthew 24; Mark 13; Luke 21). The events making news today—severe weather; increasing violence and war; the declining influence of Israelite nations and the rise of a European power with links to ancient Rome, promoted by an ecumenical- minded Roman church; and the rise of adversarial powers in Asia and the Arab world—all tie in to end-time prophecies. Just as the prophets were commissioned to warn ancient Israel and Judah, God’s Church has a commission to function as a “watchman” and warn modern Israelite nations of the coming consequences of their sins (Isaiah 58:1; Ezekiel 3 and 33). Delivering this powerful warning message must also accompany the preaching of the Gospel of the coming Kingdom of God (see Matthew 24:14). 
Have a profitable Sabbath, 
Douglas S. Winnail

Thursday, September 9, 2021

UCG: Always Finding An Excuse To Look Backward Instead of Forward


From Victor Kubik

As disciples of Jesus Christ, we in the Church of God hold the marvelous gift of truth from God Himself. As Jesus declared to His disciples in the first century, “truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it” (Matthew 13:17, English Standard Version, emphasis added throughout). 
In many respects, the New Testament serves as an illuminating and eloquent commentary on the truth revealed in the Old Testament. Isaiah declares to us that “The LORD was pleased, for his righteousness’ sake, to magnify his law and make it glorious” (Isaiah 42:21, ESV). 
That’s exactly what Jesus did in His first-century ministry, as we read in Matthew: “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:17-20, ESV). 
All Old Testament prophecies and teachings ultimately reflect and point to the coming of Jesus as the Savior of humanity and future King of Kings in the coming Kingdom of God. The apostle John reveals: “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). 
Of course, we understand that we as humans cannot keep the law perfectly, nor can we somehow “earn” salvation by keeping it as a service of works. As Paul emphasizes to us: “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9). 
Importantly, that does not change what Jesus said about those who try to “relax” the standard of the commandments, including the keeping of the weekly seventh-day Sabbath and the annual Holy Days. The commandments and teachings—embodied by the Word of God—guide our behavior. They tell us how to worship God. They provide incredible insight into both past and future trends. They give us sustaining comfort when we’re in painful trials and tribulations. They show us how to succeed, even in this earthly existence. They guide us on the spiritual pathway to transformation and how to put on the new man (Ephesians 4:24).

A Bunch of Bull-a! PCG's Gerald Flurry "Reveals" How an Ancient Clay Seal Heralds The Return of Donald Trump

A Bunch of Bull-a! 
PCG's Gerald Flurry "Reveals" How an Ancient Clay Seal 
Heralds The Return 
Donald Trump

In the same publication of "The Trumpet" as previously posted, an article by PCG leader Flurry delves deeper into his manufactured reasons for connecting Jeroboam II in 2 Kings, with former President Donald Trump, who was democratically elected out of office last year.

Let's see if we can follow his iron-clad logic here. It seems that, during the 1980s, a "bulla", a type of clay seal, turned up in Israel in the possession of a Bedouin antiquities dealer, the seal bearing the words: "Belonging to Shema the servant of Jeroboam", together with an image of a roaring lion. Please remember the roaring lion.

The artifact was originally suspected to be fake, as is often the case, but careful examination has been carried out recently over the last 5 years and has led experts to conclude last December that it is, in fact, authentic. Interestingly enough from an archeological standpoint, this indicates that someone named Jeroboam seems to have existed and had at least one slave.

But for Gerald Flurry, this is so much more than an interesting ancient artifact - it's a strategically timed sign from God, that his wacky connect-the-dot style prophetic ideas are all true!

"For more than four years, I have explained that United States President Donald Trump fulfills a role prophesied in the Bible of an end-time King Jeroboam."

Hold on, let's hear him out... Pastor General Flurry knows this must be true because... lion on the bulla and Twitter memes!

"To many of his supporters ... Donald Trump possesses the qualities of a lion. Last year, one of these supporters posted a photo on Twitter of the president casting a shadow of a lion. (Remarkably, the shape of the image was similar to the one inscribed on the Jeroboam seal.) The message praised Mr. Trump as having “the courage of a lion.”

There we have it, folks, and after all who could argue against some random Trump supporter posting something on the internet? If they say Trump is a lion, and this ancient bulla seal has a lion image on it, well, that pretty much wraps it all up, doesn't it? Trump must be Jeroboam, it's just obvious.

And if this isn't already enough solid rock evidence, Flurry also seems to think that Trump has actually, in fact, been roaring like a lion since he left office!

"In spite of what virtually everyone believes, Mr. Trump’s job is not over. Since the 2020 election, he has been roaring like a lion. This is the message God wants us to take from the Jeroboam bulla: God is not done using Mr. Trump!"

Yes, roaring, my friends, whatever that means! Therefore, the bulla is a message from God to us, about Trump! How could we have been so blind?

And finally, he repeats his previous prediction that Trump will be back (probably by mutiny of the military and secession of Red states as he has "explained" previously):

"Donald Trump is going to return. When he does, a lot of people, especially the Jews, will be pleased. But when this happens, we must remember Amos 7 and 2 Kings 14. God will be the one behind Mr. Trump and what he accomplishes!"

So again, it seems that concrete predictions have been made. But he who makes predictions must also answer for them when they don't come to pass.

And while Flurry seems to be quite excited about this tiny little clay seal, it's not like similar such finds with various ancient names aren't found all the time in archaeological digs. What if this bulla seal is just another old bulla which happened to be found in the 1980s, and not some invented prophetic signal? And what if Flurry's enduring hope that Trump is reinstated by military insurrection is just a wacky idea that has more "bull" in it than bulla?

Submitted by Michael

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Philadelphia Church of God: "We’re the hope of this world. This Noah-like work."

This is how Stephen Flurry imagines PCG members 
will soon be transported out of the United States 
 to the Place of Safety. 

It should never come as a shock to anyone even remotely familiar with the Armstrongite Church of God movement that its focus is NOT on the One they claim to follow but upon the law and other personalities they deem of great importance.

Leave it to the Philadelphia Church of God to take this to the extreme, once again. That most inconvenient dude they know nothing about is once more relegated to the rear of the room so that Noah can shine forth as the great savior of the world, as the one who led people to safety.

The Philadelphia Church of God is not known for having any great theologians who actually understand the Bible and the works of Jesus. It instead has a poorly trained group of man/boys who were trained at the feet of Gerald Flurry, who himself was so poorly trained that he based his entire movement upon Malachi's Message, a book he stole and plagiarized from Jules Dervaes, The Letter to Laodicea. The very same book that Stephen Flurry had a mystical vision about while at a PCG weekend at Robber's Cave in Oklahoma. Robber's Cave was the site of an event so sacred to the PCG that the student body of Herbert W Armstrong College make yearly pilgrimages to gaze in wonder at the very cabin  Stephen stayed in as he read Malachi's Message, thus validating his father's madness and the establishment of the Philadelphia Church of God cult.

In a letter sent to Exit and Support Network a few days ago, Stephen Flurry has given us proof once again on how theological bankrupt he really is. This time he is praising Noah and how he set the example to save the righteous. 

SF Talks About “Our Noah Like Work” and Going to the Place of Safety: 
September 5, 2021 
SF gave a Bible Study on August 20 at HQs entitled, “Our Noah Like Work” in which he compared GF’s “work” to “Noah’s work” and talked about members going to the Place of Safety. Below are some of the things he said. 

He said Joel Hilliker had a Trumpet Brief on August 18 (“Prophecy is Fulfilled in Afghanistan”) and he [Hilliker] “talked about these people desperately clinging to those cargo planes, even on the outside and he said that it brought to mind images of people clawing at the sides of Noah’s ark when God sent the flood.” [Those who read The Bible Story books in WCG will remember Basil Wolverton’s frightening cartoon depiction of that scene. 

“We in the church know the flood is coming.” 


“And in a lot of ways, the pictures of those people all sitting on the bottom of that C-17, crammed in there– that may be something that we experience ourselves at some point. We don’t know exactly what it means to be lifted away to the place of safety on the wings of a great eagle. But somehow or another, we are gonna to fly to the Place of Safety. And as Amos 7 says, we’re gonna be escorted out, or asked to leave. … There might be some government jets that are part of that massive transport operation. … 10,000 saints headed off to the Place of Safety. And then when you look at the outside of the vessel, when the people know the rain has set in and it’s not gonna stop–it’s a pretty sobering visual.” 


He referred to GF’s Peter booklet several times and said “We’re like the family of Noah. Hard at work during these final days of the present evil world. And soon we are going to be flying right into another world, a new world.” 
He referred to 9-11 as the time they [PCG] “entered into the Last Hour.” 
“Noah and his family were a type of this church; a type of this work that we are engaged in. A Noah like work. We are facing universal destruction.” … “God promises to save us.” 
“If we are supporting God’s preacher of righteousness [i.e., GF] [Noah was called a preacher of righteousness in II Peter 2:5], then God promises protection; God promises to save us.” 
“This present, evil world is almost over.” 

“When we are lifted over to the Place of Safety, that is the new world; that is the World Tomorrow.” … we are IT. We’re the hope of this world. This Noah-like work.” 
“Noah had to go out and build for God for a century. Then the rains came. … He had to plan ahead.” 
“It’s been almost a century since God opened the mind of Herbert Armstrong. And here we are–right where God prophesied.” 

“We’ve got to support our preacher of righteousness.” [i.e., GF] 
“We are here to tell this world that is about over.” 
He quoted from GF’s Peter booklet and said “You can look at Noah’s example and see that God saves a few. God is going to save us; He’s going to rescue us. He’s going to protect us. He promises that. We’re His children and He’s our Father. He’s going to look after us.” 
“God is still teaching us. The new revelation just continues. We haven’t even gotten some of the finer points or details regarding the Place of Safety and our flight and how that operation is going to be carried out. That is going to be exciting, getting some instructions in sermons from my father–‘Hey! We’ve got to be ready. God has shown me this and this and this about this verse here or this verse over there.’ Selling off our belongings. And being air-lifted out of a dangerous world.” 
Reading from the Peter booklet again, “Noah and his family were spared. A big benefit of doing God’s Work as He commands. Rewards always accompany obedience to God. … all the way to the end.” 
He read I Peter 3:19-21 “This age is about over. … God tested Noah to make sure he would wait and endure until the very end.” 
“Eventually, we’re going to be packing our bags–for good!” 
–Bible Study critiqued by Anonymous

Monday, September 6, 2021

PCG's "The Trumpet" Trumps Again: Donald Trump To Be Reinstated As President By Mutinous Military Leaders!

One thing most Americans can probably agree on, whether left or right on the political spectrum, is that the entire 20-year engagement in Afghanistan was a huge monumental failure, a waste of money with little to show for it but a 2 trillion dollar windfall for the military industry.

Nevertheless, it has ended, and while there's plenty of blame to be assigned, Gerald Flurry's Philadelphia Church of God has one of the more nutty interpretations, as usual, making wild guesses disguised as prophetic predictions in their flagship publication, The Trumpet:

You see, this ending of the war is likely going to provoke a "military uprising" by the US military against the Biden administration, leading to a military action that will reinstate Donald Trump as the rightful President, or possibly with him leading a secession of states from the union! ("President Trump could also lead some states to secede from the union. That would lead to some kind of warfare.") "How Afghanistan Could Help Donald Trump Return to the Presidency"

Yes, you read that correctly.

Now, this is not a political post, as I understand that Banned is not a political blog. And Flurry can have his political views as he likes, but he goes far into crazy land when he writes things like this. And, unbelievably, he goes digging for scriptures to somehow support his wide-eyed theories [as quoted in the article]:

“Verse 28 of 2 Kings 14 strongly indicates that Mr. Trump recovers his presidency by some kind of warring—not voting,” Mr. Flurry wrote. “It seems certain to me that this will happen before the next presidential election in 2024—unless there would be some kind of war and voting combined.”

Really, if he thinks the scribal writers of 2 Kings had the slightest interest in trying to guess, or even conceive of, what would happen over 2000 years after their time, he might as well read The Hobbit and try to map events in Middle Earth to modern world events.


"It seems certain to me that this will happen before the next presidential election in 2024", Flurry says.

The only thing that we can say for sure is that 2024 is definitely going to come along. So we expect a full retraction from the PCG and The Trumpet if (when) no such civil war takes place and Trump is NOT the president, because their private interpretation of scripture is just nutty and wishful thinking on their part.


If the COG splinters would stop trying to shoehorn ancient writings to make them somehow portray whatever the current event of the day is, they would look a lot less ridiculous than they do. The writers of 2 Kings wrote in their time, about their time, and for their time, not about our time. How much clearer could 2 Kings 14:28 be? [as quoted by Flurry]:

“Now the rest of the acts of Jeroboam, and all that he did, and his might, how he warred, and how he recovered Damascus, and Hamath, which belonged to Judah, for Israel, are they not written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of Israel?”

Are the writers not clear enough that this is what "Jeroboam ... did"? Not what Trump or any other celebrity "will do". The writers are explicitly saying that all that "Jeroboam" did, how he warred, recovered "Damascus", for "Israel", is what we wrote here and in the other chronicles. How silly do you have to be to think they're talking about Donald Trump? They clearly specified who they were talking about. Obviously, they were writing history (whether accurate or not is another issue), for purposes relating to their own time and their own issues and problems. 

But no, Flurry breathlessly insists, this verse says that Mr. Trump will recover his presidency!

I hate to break it to him, but it doesn't indicate what anybody does in the future. Read it, Gerald - notice that it's written in the *past tense*.

"Jeroboam ... warred... recovered". NOT: "[Some end-time] Jeroboam ... will war .. will recover". Past history, not future prophecy.

In WCG circles you might be able to get away with this, but people who haven't been conditioned to read past tense passages in some sort of superimposed future tense way [why, he's a TYPE of Jeroboam!], can see how ridiculous you sound, Trumpet publishers. You're not going to grow your tithe base that way, at least not in today's world.

On second thought, keep it up, as it will help those all-important tithes to shrivel up...

Submitted by...Michael

BEST FEAST EVER! ...or else

This is my least favorite Feast scripture often quoted by the ministry, and sorry to say myself a few times,  in countless sermons at the Feast over the years.  Aside from the fact that the author still anticipated plagues upon their still in use horses, mules, camels and donkeys, thus rendering it as something very far into the future ridiculous, it is an incredibly bad example on how to motivate people to attend the Feast. It's an incredibly bad example on how to motivate anyone to do anything. It's an incredibly bad example of forcing belief in what there is  understandably no belief in.  It's the consequences for not doing that motivate.  

I mean, how would you react if Islam, by the hand of Allah, rotted out the eyes and tongues of loved ones not yet into the Islamic Faith, while still alive and then we, as survivors, forced to keep Ramadan?  Would Ramadan be your "Best Ramadan Ever"?  Well aside from it being your first of many or else.  

Do we really believe the losers against Israel, now forced to go to the Feast or the God of Love will cut off their rain are going to sing "Praise ye the Lordo" with zest and feeling of gratitude?  Do we think that singing "climbing through the windows leap" will bring back good times and fond memories?  Do we really think those defeated gentiles in the future to whom this mandatory Festival attendance policy , or else , would rejoice in "Onward Christian soldiers , marching as to war. With the cross of Jesus going on before"?

This is more a formula for PTSD!  Post Theological Stress Disorder.  

Zechariah 14:

12This is the plague with which the Lord will strike all the nations that fought against Jerusalem: Their flesh will rot while they are still standing on their feet, their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouths. 13On that day people will be stricken by the Lord with great panic. They will seize each other by the hand and attack one another. 14Judah too will fight at Jerusalem. The wealth of all the surrounding nations will be collected—great quantities of gold and silver and clothing. 15A similar plague will strike the horses and mules, the camels and donkeys, and all the animals in those camps.

16Then the survivors from all the nations that have attacked Jerusalem will go up year after year to worship the King, the Lord Almighty, and to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles. 17If any of the peoples of the earth do not go up to Jerusalem to worship the King, the Lord Almighty, they will have no rain. 18If the Egyptian people do not go up and take part, they will have no rain. The Lord b will bring on them the plague he inflicts on the nations that do not go up to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles. 19This will be the punishment of Egypt and the punishment of all the nations that do not go up to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles.

Sunday, September 5, 2021

The Math is Incorrect: Prophet Bobalonia Pronounces Bullshitta on Shemitahs!

 There's been a lot of talk about Shemitahs lately...evidently. 


"Modern Jews claim that the period of time from sunset September 6, 2021 through sunset September 25, 2022 is a 'Shemitah year.' Some claim that this and the year that begins when this one ends (the claimed 'jubilee' is being called a 'super shemitah") and runs through 2023 may cause destruction or the Great Reset. Is this possible? Is Messianic Jew, Jonathan Cahn (of the Harbinger fame) a prophet of God as Pat Robertson has said or a false prophet? Was he right about the financial collapse of the USA in 2015? Are the Jews right about their Shemitah year being year 5982, or is 5991 closer? What about the beginning of sorrows? Dr. Thiel addresses these issues and more."

BibleNewsProphecy: 2022-2023 Shemitahs: Destruction/Reset?

Spoiler Alert
For entertainment purposes only

The Great Prophet "clearly" shows how the Great Shemitahs Destruction Reset is nothing to worry about.  They do not fit his calculations so if you were concerned about them beginning this month on the 6th, you can relax.  

And too...Someone, please send Prophet Bobalonia a New Testament for Christ's sake...and his own!