Saturday, October 15, 2022

Dave Pack Fails With Another Prediction As He Becomes More Bizarre, Odd, And Strange


David C. Pack’s Feast Failathon Continues


Shortly after yesterday’s article was published, the predicted moonwalking twisteroo went up in Member Services. Since “rushing” is not the wisest mode to live in, I opted to sit on this until the morning.


Trying to figure out what is being said is like reading a verbal math problem. All they needed to do was distribute the highlighted portion. Instead, they presented this needlessly bloated Pathetic Update.


Friday, October 14, 2022

True to pattern, the passing of hours has clarified the picture. A simple question presented itself: When God says the saints go through 10 days of tribulation, does He really mean 10.5? The obvious answer suddenly became impossible to dismiss! As soon as this was understood, a flood of supporting verses and proofs came clear. In effect, our watch was half-a-day off—actually starting Jerusalem dawn rather than dusk. This later arrival means God can spend time with the saints for a short period on the Sabbath before the 10 days begin. Put plainly, the window opens dawn Jerusalem time on the Sabbath. Again, each Feast site should do their own math. Continue to enjoy the Feast to the fullest in the little time we have left!



The Coffee Kid, Meat Shield (sans wife), and David C. Pack are circling the drain regarding viable ideas for the timing of the return of Jesus Christ. Extending failure for another twelve hours only bought them twelve hours. And that time is already spent.


Even the official Dave Whisperer for The Restored Church of Another god struggles to make sense of this confusing mess. I did not study biblical hieroglyphics in high school, but I will give it a shot.


I will not lie to you. This is going to hurt.


The new "watch" is set to start 10-days before Cheshvan 1 (October 26). That means October 16, which is Tishrei 21. Because this is all according to Jerusalem time, you must subtract 7 hours to get to Eastern time. On top of that, the Hebrew calendar reckons a day beginning at sunset the night before. This means Cheshvan 1 begins 7 hours before sunset here on October 25. Ten days before that is October 15, which is today, which is a Sabbath. Whew.


How is that for simplicity in Christ? ;)


Hopefully, none of you actually read all of that. It is a confusing mess because that is the kind of mind that occupies David C. Pack and the enablers at Headquarters who “agree” with the perpetual nonsense.


The bottom line is that the 10-day Kingdom that “God never intended” begins today at 11:07 AM!


Except, it didn’t. David C. Pack fell flat on his face again this morning, but the men around him will cast themselves on the ground before him so he will not be bruised by the fall. What happened to suffering kicking the learning mechanism into gear? Maybe that is for the lay members only.


Before this article was finished, the deadline had already failed. Do you see why I opted to not lose any sleep over this? My morning routine has become to have a cup of coffee while David C. Pack fails.


David C. Pack does not teach the prophetic truths of God.


That is not an opinion. That is a fact of history.


New reports of folks planning to leave RCG after the Feast are coming in. Dawn Blue and I would be interested in hearing your story when you are ready to talk. A growing network of former members offers support for those who leave or are contemplating leaving. You are not alone.


As a reminder from a mere week ago, re-listen to Meat Shield speak with sure confidence about what did NOT happen this week.

Shame on you, Andy. Shame on you. Take your awesome wife and get out. Steak dinner. My treat.



A friend who left Headquarters in August said that reading “Is ‘That Prophet’ Alive Today? ­– The Rise of False Prophets" was beneficial to her when she escaped RCG.


These words were written by David C. Pack and are found on Page 51.


Prolific Revelations

A less familiar characteristic of false prophets, and this is related to the last two sections, is that they are often extremely prolific in claiming new revelations from God. True prophets always speak plain, simple truth, delivered without frills!


Typically, false prophets claim that they are getting “more and more insight.” They often work late at night (recall that Saul raged all night), while they produce things that are increasingly bizarre, odd and strange.They also claim, and I have seen this several times in my 30-plus-year ministry, that the new understanding they are receiving is coming “faster than they can record it.” This makes no sense if such understanding or supposednew insight were coming from God. If God wants to send a message, why would He give it faster than the prophet could receive it? As a man yields himself to the demon manipulating him, in fact, he does become

consumed with his messages and the need to deliver them. The God of peace would never rev His servants to fever pitch. The Bible does not record such a pattern.


I have dealt with any number of demon-possessed people. It is these spirits who create a frenetic, rushed, frantic mindset in those they are vexing or controlling. Remember—God’s Spirit reflects “power, love and a sound mind” (II Tim. 1:7). When what is being said, and/or a person’s actions, are continually unsound, it is not coming from God! “Revelations” often occur late at night because spirits know that the mind of a sleep-deprived person grows weaker and more open to outside influence! I have seen this pattern far too often!


Anyone who would like a PDF of this book can click the link HERE to download it.

Here are recent comments from a “sound mind” that counter what brethren are hearing and reading during the Feast of Tabernacles in RCG.


Part 390 – August 27, 2022

@ 43:35 I’m not commissioned to give you the day. I’m commissioned to tell you it’s close. 


Part 393 – September 17, 2022

@ 10:52  I’ve not been to bed before 1:30. I don’t think, this whole week.


@ 08:47 If you asked me Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I’d tell ya it’s a week. If you ask me Tuesday, Thursday, or Saturday, I'd tell ya it's ten days. If you ask me on Sunday, I'd say, "I'm not sure." It was almost like that, and the men around me could never pin it down, either.


@ 35:08 So, we were not looking for a 10-day Kingdom or a 15-day Kingdom or a one-month Kingdom, or a two-and-half-month Kingdom. We were looking for a one-week Kingdom.


Part 395* (Special Comments) – September 17, 2022

@ 02:39 And as I was sitting, and eventually it got toward 2 o'clock, and I was pondering this…


@ 12:55 But fortunately, I figured this out late last night.


@ 11:15 So, it wouldn't turn on sundown or dusk in Jerusalem. It would have to be some later place.


A sound mind, indeed.



To Pastor General and Professional Blasphemer David C. Pack:


When you get back from Rogers, if you would like to discuss this face-to-face, I would be happy to come to Headquarters to meet with you. That way, you can get everything off your chest rather than being a whiny little bitch boohooing about me to people at the Feast.


I know you will not do that. But I still offer because I am not afraid of you. You are a false prophet, a false apostle, and you handle the word of God deceitfully. Repent before it is too late.


One compliment from you was that you did not refer to me as a liar. A devil—yes. A liar—no. Even you validated my credibility. Thanks, man.


Stop your Feast Failathon.


Let God judge between you and me.

Marc Cebrian


Friday, October 14, 2022

RCG Feast Follies

RCG Feast Follies


The Feast of Tabernacles for The Restored Church of God has been refreshingly quiet on the David C. Pack speaking front. He spoke four times in the past, but so far, only once this year. Even a false prophet needs a little vacay once in a while.


The "watch day-by-day" sentiment was getting old, so they decided to breathe new life into the running joke by posting this in Member Services yesterday:


We are about to reach what becomes the final day we long wondered if we would back into--where the Church knows the day. Apparently the Kingdom was going to start on a Sabbath after all. Our watch is for about 12.5 hours from dusk to dawn Jerusalem time. Calculate accordingly. Also as we long suspected, the Kingdom of God is seven days (Sabbath dawn to Sabbath dawn) and 3.5 more of great tribulation before the Day of Christ. As best we understand, this is the last opportunity for 2022.



This is it. The end of the road. The long struggle to get to the correct Kingdom arrival date has been reached. 


Sunset in Jerusalem today begins at 6:08 PM.


The 12.5 hours of watching starts today at 11:08 AM Eastern, 8:08 AM Western.


Sunrise in Jerusalem on Saturday begins at 6:42 AM.


The 12.5 hours of watching ends tonight at 11:42 PM Eastern, 8:42 PM Western.


Everyone can feel certain because the text is certain. This is very matter-of-fact wording:


“We are about to reach what becomes…”

“Apparently the Kingdom was going to start on a Sabbath after all.”

“Also as we long suspected, the Kingdom of God is seven days…”


Those sentences are constructed with a surety found when documenting history even though the David C. Pack 12.5 Hour Failathon has already begun. There will be more moonwalking before the day is over. What an exciting time in prophecy.


Note the 7 days and the 3.5 days mentioned as We revisit Part 394.


Part 394 – September 24, 2022

@ 07:04 …God never intended 10 days, or 7 days, or 3.5 days, or any days to precede the Feast of Trumpets.He’s going to do everything in that one day of so many names.


It is hard to know what to write in your notes with a pencil or pen. It is probably best to not take notes at all because whatever you hear will soon change. That is an established church tradition.


Deep down, Dave knows he is a fraud. That "uncomfortable" feeling that strikes him after he speaks is witness to that. Even when he constructs a concrete fortress of inarguable proofs, there is always a trap door under the bed that he can slip through when disaster strikes.


“As best we understand…”


Ah. There it is. It is all an undeniable fact…as best we understand. We. We. We. All the way home. Notice how Dave could not even bring himself to assign his own name to it.


…this is the last opportunity for 2022.


Not the “last” by any stretch of the imagination.


The Coffee Kid, Meat Shield (sans wife), and Dave conspired to concoct this last gasp of prophetic nonsense just in time for the Sabbath. There is going to be a late-night strategy meeting when nothing happens. So much for the day of rest.


My educated guess as a non-prophet/non-psychic is that he will speak one more time before the Feast is over because he cannot have everyone contemplate his latest failures while boarding the airplane.


The Last Great Dave is on Monday. He would have to speak on Sunday if he wants everyone to hear his latest presumption circus before they formulate their resignation letters on the drive home. Look forward to Part 399 on the horizon.


Dennis Diehl brought up a concept in a comment on the website that I will borrow here.


David C. Pack believes that each failure gets him one step closer to being right.


Most people who succeed get past failure and approach success because they learn along the way. Dave is not learning.


He is not climbing stairs toward being right. He is on an escalator. Each step he takes repeats the same errors, keeping him in place. That sounds like a form of hell to me.



The desperation inside RCG is becoming more apparent.


One disturbing development this year at the Feast of Tabernacles is the change of policy for events. 


RCG is becoming PCG.


The Restored Church of God emulates the same Gestapo hardline tactics The Philadelphia Church of God perfected decades ago. Family members who are ex-members were ejected and disinvited from the Dinner Dance and the Not-The-Entire-Family Day.


This is counter to all the other years inside RCG.


Compromised “ministers” became enforcers, enacting policies they knew were unloving, yet did it anyway. Like a mobster given an order to whack someone they liked. They felt terrible about it but still pulled the trigger because the boss wanted it done. That is the RCG way.


The Chicago Heavy must have greater pull in The Restored Church of Another god than previously thought. Eject your teen from the home if they no longer want to attend. Eject anyone else from a Feast event for the same reason. 2022 will undoubtedly be "the best Feast ever."


And here we thought Elijah was supposed to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the children to their fathers. We will see after the Feast how well that worked out.


Not every problem needs to be solved with a belt, Dave.


Due to the constant leaking of information, maybe Dave was afraid footage of him doing the Electric Slide would go public. After all, that is what a devilish person would want to see.


If some families were on the fence going into the Feast, this would certainly help push them over to the side RCG did not intend. It would affect not only those who were removed but everyone who witnessed and heard about it. The Sword of the Lord was very active during this Feast.


Dave and Team Lockdown do not realize that by trying to plug one leaking hole in the dyke, they actually create three more.


This calls for another Star Wars quote.


Princess Leia

The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.


If God wants the information to continue to leak out, it will leak out. If God wants the information flow to stop, it will stop. I did not start it, and I do not control it. Let God's will be done in this matter. Amen.



It is time to have a little bit of fun once again.


Dave sang to the “ministers” during the Feast to remind them who they really serve.

Marc Cebrain: 

Jim Franks Says Its Ok To Help People Outside the Church


A reader here posted this today:

Apparently, one message by Jim Franks at the Feast this year was considered really good because he said we should care and help others outside the COGs when we can. This just now occurring to them is pretty strong evidence that they have not been practicing real Christianity all these years. Earl

Imagine being a COG Leader in 2022 and not realizing it was OK to help those outside the COG whenever you can. Those who have left the church and many still in the COG's understand this and already practice it, but far too many claim that helping others is not good and takes money away from the church to spread whatever it is they claim is a gospel.

I remember when Joseph Tkach helped those outside the church that have suffered through some calamity and watched certain ordained individuals crap their self-righteous pants because he help unconverted people.

it's no owner the COG's cannot attract new members anymore.

Wednesday, October 12, 2022

Crackpot COG Prophet Wants To Know If You Are Qualifying or Disqualifying?


Why is it that COG ministers, particularly self-appointed ones who have no real theological education, always try and keep their members burdened down with impossible laws and expectations instead of teaching their followers to revel in grace with unabandoned joy? 

Church of God members are in a constant state of turmoil trying to do things to impress their god so that at some point in the future they might be forgiven and loved.

Because these men have placed their entire focus on shadows and laws that were designed to make the children of Israel a separate unique people at that time, they continue to live in the past burdened down by laws they can never fully keep and thus live in a constant state of wondering if God has going to abandon them.  Under the New Covenant, those expectations were accomplished by the works of the One who is greater than those laws, the very One Christians have been following for centuries in faith and absolute confidence.

This kind of theological depravity results in Bob Thiel saying things like he has written below.

Are You Qualifying or Disqualifying?
This message is a 21st century update of a message given at the Feast of Tabernacles in 1982 by the late Pastor General of the old Worldwide Church of God, Herbert W. Armstrong. In this sermon, Dr. Thiel goes over scriptures about the role of Christians as kings and priests in the kingdom of God, the influence and flaws of Satan, and humanities choices. He goes over promises that Jesus gave Christians as well as warnings from Jesus and the Apostle Paul about disqualifying. Dr. Thiel also gives some clues about when Jesus may return. He also discusses what humanity will do to the world and how much better the millennial kingdom of God will be.

A 17th Century theologian sums up the confidence Christians live with:

  • Therefore, in this Covenant, we do not only receive Light, but the Fullness of Light.
  • Not only Life, but the Fullness of Life, because Christ is our Life whom we receive in this Covenant.
  • Not only Strength, but the Fullness of Strength; The Lord is the Strength of my heart, and my Portion forever.
  • Not only Pardon of Sin, but Fullness of Pardon; or, the Fullest Pardon, complete Pardon.
  • Not only Righteousness, but the Fullness of Righteousness; perfect and complete Righteousness, and you are complete in him.
  • Not only Peace, but the Fullness of Peace; Peace that passes all understanding.
  • Not only Beauty, but the Fullness of Beauty; for it was perfect, * thro’ my Comeliness which I put upon thee, saith the Lord God.
  • Not only knowledge, but the Fullness of knowledge; And ye also are Full of all goodness, filled with all knowledge. The parts may be weak, yet where Christ dwells or hath taken possession of the heart, there the Soul hath a Fullness of Spiritual knowledge: Our Vessels may be full though’ but small.
  • And Not only Joy, but the Fullness of Joy; These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. Again, he saith, Ask and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full; ’tis called, unspeakable joy, and full of Glory.
  • Lastly, And not only Glory, but the Fullness of Glory; for the Fullness of the Glory of Heaven is contained in this Covenant, or the perfect and full enjoyment of God, even the Beatifical Vision.  Benjamin Keach (1640-1704)

Leave the lies of Bob Thiel and live a life free! Stop worrying about whether or not you are qualified or disqualified.

PCG Member Ignores Relative On His Deathbed And Chooses To Go To The Feast Instead


The utter depravity of Armstrongism rears its ugly head now and then, particularly in the more aberrant personality cults like the Philadelphia Church of God. Leaders in these groups pretend that they speak for God and have restored truths never understood for 2,000 years. God supposedly speaks directly through them and the members lap it all up as divine truth.

The PCG has made a huge effort over the years to break up families and destroy marriages if any of their members associate with former members and family members and have left the church. In many documented cases there have been suicides due to the heavy burdens placed upon the members.

When you read below the accounts of PCG members turning their backs on family members it is appalling. Utter disgust is the only word for these people.

The Exit and Support Network has this up:

Son in PCG Will Not Visit His Grandpa on Deathbed:
October 10, 2022 
I have family members in PCG. They have been involved since 2000. My grandpa is currently on his deathbed and his son will not come and say his final goodbyes because there is some sort of PCG feast going on in another state at the moment. I am at a loss of what to do. Our family is devastated. Is there anyway I can help them break free of this cult or is the reality that they will not leave unless it’s initiated by themselves? Thank you, –K.

In a follow-up comment there was this:

A Badge of Honor for Members Not Leave the Feast for any Reason:
October 10, 2022 
That’s horrible about the son in PCG refusing to visit his dying grandfather during the Feast, but not surprising. Some PCG members actually look at a situation like this as a “badge of honor” for not leaving the FOT for any purpose, even a death in the (non-member) family. My mate in PCG has told me about PCG members’ non-member spouses dying, or being critically ill, yet they brag about still attending. If that’s not sick and twisted, I don’t know what is. I remember being told about a PCG member whose spouse (also a member) who died right before the FOT. The member had his spouse’s body stored frozen in the funeral home’s freezers until he could return home and take care of the arrangements. –Impacted by loved one in PCG


Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Dave Pack Sure Knows How To Bum Out A Feast

Another False Alarm


As predicted by a certain non-prophet/non-psychic, David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God has hijacked the Feast of Tabernacles to make it all about him.


By the time this article is written, he has already failed again. The First Kingdom of God was set to arrive at sunrise in Jerusalem on Tishrei 16. That was 11:39 PM Eastern time last night. Whoopsie daisies.


After suckling Meat Shield’s teat for an appropriate amount of time, Dave gained the strength to stand at the lectern to deliver a 95-minute presumption circus to members worldwide during a Livestream. “The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 398*)” was given during the morning service on the first day of The Feast of Tabernacles in Wadsworth, Ohio.


The * for certain Parts will be explained at the end of the article.



His opening words set the tone for the hilarity to follow.


Part 398* – October 10, 2022

@ 00:02 Good morning, everyone. Yes, we are still on track.


The previous article pointed out how that was one of five lies Meat Shield stammered to the church a few days ago. We see who he got it from. This “already failed” business is what Andy was so excited about. Sad.


“We are still on track” is gaslighting madness without shame. And even before the deadline, Team Faux had already posted a Pathetic Update in Member Services, moonwalking the timing.


Dear brethren,


In the crush of preparation, one crucial assumption was made that was a mistake, with everything else correct (including our settled status). Well ahead of Jerusalem sunrise, Mr. Pack and the group of traveling ministers suddenly began to see a definitive path deeper into the Feast. In short, the question became, could there be less than 5 days of Kingdom before the 10 days of tribulation? The answer quickly became YES!


They later dropped in this nugget to further impose on everyone's Feast.


All the dawn proofs remain! We must watch day-by-day (dawn Jerusalem time)…


There was more to it, but you get the idea. It did not take peering into a crystal ball to see that one coming.


The Coffee Kid, Meat Shield (sans wife), and Dave have no choice but to string this out. That is always the play. That will always be the play. God is not with them, so what else can they do?


Dave failed again. And they are stretching it out again. Now we are ready to hear what he said yesterday.


@ 01:35 …and I’ll explain to you why there can be no 399.


Does anyone want to bet how soon Part 399 will hit our inbox? It would be too easy to say, “Before the Feast is over.” The real question is, How far behind that will be Part 400 and 401? Wait for it. It will surely come. Though it hesitates. Wait for it.


You can watch 65-seconds of “beef” in the message right here.


@ 03:24 I want to begin with an unusual introduction. I’m going to give you the conclusion at the start. It amounts to a kind of an announcement. I’m gonna tell you when the Kingdom of God comes. Then, prove it.


Just as a reminder, what you are about to read has already failed. Dave already walked it back with the Pathetic Update last night.


@ 03:47 So, here it is. Within about ten hours, roughly about ten hours after I finish today at roughly one o’clock, now this is a very dramatic statement, the Kingdom will arrive at dawn in Jerusalem day two of the Feast.Now, you're response ought to be at this moment, "What?! Dawn? A day and a half into the Feast of Tabernacles? What?" Well, if nothing else, let me at least say this, You can understand why no one was ever gonna figure that out till the end. The question is: Can I prove it from the Bible? And I absolutely can, and that's basically the balance of the sermon.




So, he asks a question and then answers it for us. Too bad he was wrong. The remaining portion of the sermon was rendered moot less than twelve hours later.


The true answer is: No. You cannot prove it from the Bible, Dave. You spent over 90 minutes presuming again. You taught what God never intended again. Fraudulent foolishness.


That is not my opinion. That is not a wild assertion or an educated guess. It is not experienced speculation. It is not a theory based on the preponderance of the evidence. It is not hope. It is not a desire made manifest because I want it to be so.


You did not prove it from the Bible, and the passing of time rests its case. Physical reality declares you a fraud. History proves you are a fraud. Just consider me the stenographer.


If this article had been written before the deadline, then the balance of the sermon could have been examined with only a healthy skepticism. Instead, we can look back on the fossil record and see what has already happened.


David C. Pack, the blind Pastor General of The Restored Church of Another god, is not a man of his word. A false apostle and a false prophet who does not teach the truth of God and suffers medical-grade denial, ignoring the reality all around him. He is an impotent leader surrounded by sycophant enablers that the Bible calls hirelings.


That is the whole deal in a nutshell.



@ 05:56 Now, if that didn’t intrigue you, then you’re probably in the wrong church. I’m sure it did.


Witnessing a public display of narcissistic insecurity is an eye-opening experience. Everyone inside The Restored Church of Another god IS in the wrong church. Dave threw the idea out there and reeled it back after a revelatory pause. Twice within two minutes, he had to don a verbal fig leaf.


Were you afraid those in the audience might consider they were in the wrong church, Dave? You are certainly trying your little heart out to make it so.


@ 06:10 There is a 15-day Kingdom, just like we thought…that ends at the new moon of Cheshvan.


But We is a jerkface. Why do you keep listening to We?


Based on the Pathetic Update last night, they are already reversing this reverse. See, Dave keeps proving he is an Uno fan.


Note for the future: Keep Cheshvan 1 (October 26) on your radar. After everyone returns home from the Feast of Tabernacles as they all planned, Dave will make a bigger deal of it as it gets closer.


@ 10:37 Now, I’m gonna explain to you something extraordinary happened at 11:13. Just twenty-five minutes ago. And one of my assignments, and I never understood this, was to make a special announcement foretold in a bunch of places in the scriptures about something that was certain as of twenty-five minutes ago.


Dave has a habit of giving himself assignments nobody asked him to do. He is like the Hall Monitor in school, but the one nobody authorized. He took the job upon himself because the hall must be monitored, and he knew he was the right guy to get’er done.


It is funny how church leaders always seem to know they are the right ones to lead.


The only thing "certain" that David C. Pack teaches is his inevitable failure. Again, that is not an opinion. That is a cold, hard fact of history.


@ 11:33 …we had that right. But we had it in the wrong place.


I think that RCG slogan belongs on a t-shirt. If we order them now, we can have them ready for Family Day.



@ 24:24 So, once you know the 1335, you could never know in any future year once you hit it if it were true. If it doesn't happen this year. It has to apply this year, or it's not a metric…then next year, you cannot know the divine pledge of something that's coming in "yet a little while." You could hope it was, but you could have no faith that it is in any future year.


That point makes an Epic Fail of his numerous recent admissions. Take a trip down Memory Lane to recall some ancient history.


Part 396* – October 1, 2022

@ 1:48:04 We are not seeking the 1335.


Part 389 – August 24, 2022

@ 51:10 …my God-appointed task was to end the Mystery of God…not to declare the year that God chooses.


@ 53:47 But it’s not my job to say it is this year…it has to be the end of the Series. No possible way to go on. There's no time.


@ 54:54 No wonder I was never able to get the year right.


@ 52:38 So I wouldn’t say the date again when it arrived. Therefore…I won’t do it. And I’m sorry that I ever did.


Part 390 – August 27, 2022

@ 43:24 I'm not commissioned, I'm sorry, to say the year. I told you three days ago I'm not commissioned to tell you the year. I'm not required to do that. It’s God’s job.


Part 392 – September 10, 2022

@ 51:31 I have no authority. I made an assumption. I have no authority to say that the First Kingdom, the 1335, has to be 15 days…


How about another reminder lest we forget this definitive statement regarding the Kingdom of God arriving on the Feast of Trumpets.


Part 389 – August 24, 2022

@ 50:54 I would die before I would give up that truth. There is no question the Prophetic Kingdom Solar System we have built is right.


Trumpets was the Trophy Wife, but Tammuz loved us back when we were nothing, and look what happened to her.


Part 379 – June 25, 2022

@ 18:34 I believe that [Tammuz 1] no less certainly than I believe the seventh day is the Sabbath.


David C. Pack believed the Kingdom of God would arrive on Tammuz 1 as surely as he believes the Sabbath. David C. Pack would rather die than give up on Trumpets. He admitted he has no authority to say what he has. He acknowledged it is God's job to do what he is doing.


How wicked and devilish of me to quote David C. Pack right back at him.


David C. Pack tells you everything you need to hear to make a judgment call if he is true or not.


@ 25:23 No wonder we learned it right at the very end in this whole full picture. So, I’m here to tell you, If you’re at the Feast of Tabernacles, you made it! You have heard the announcement. You have a pledge. You have a promise. You have a message from God you can carry off with you. An absolute divine assurance of good that you made it.


David C. Pack: Professional Blasphemer. The words sound biblical and godly but are poison for the heart that leeches away faith and joy.


These are the words that damage people inside RCG. Words of dark villainy. A simple passing of time forced this conclusion.


@ 28:46 So, let's go see all of this in the Bible. Now, let's go be sure that we've got this right. This time. ‘Cause I’ll just promise you, I’ll just say this, if it doesn’t happen in a few hours, then somehow it’s next year at the exact same time. I don’t know how that could be.


Someone did not read last night’s Pathetic Update…naughty, naughty.



@ 57:59 This verse struck me in Revelation 9 [:15]. It stunned me. It stunned me. And I knew absolutely, I knew I was right. I knew I was right.


But, by the time his head went back onto the pillow last night…well, maybe it was just a nice dream, David. It is good to have dreams. About being right. But that is all they are for you. Dreams about being right. Because reality can be a bitch.


You hold on tight to that dream that you are right. But, one day, you will wake up.


@ 1:32:51 Now, let me just say, If nothing happens in the next few hours…You should be deeply convicted that we are waiting for the exact same moment on the second day of the Feast of Tabernacles. That is beyond arguable. The Mystery of God is resolved.


Beyond arguable? David C. Pack less than ten hours into your future had a different opinion. You should take it up with him.


Everyone should be convicted that David C. Pack is not a man to be trusted. His words are empty and lifeless. Time declares him a liar.


There is no way this man can sit on his hands with any idea for an entire year. The spotlight beckons, and he is drawn toward the light.


Why does he keep repeating the same mistakes? Why does he keep moving the goalpost? Why does he keep kicking the can down the road?


Money. Money. Money.


If the RCG bus of insanity slows down too much, it will encourage those ready to leap to freedom. Very few have the stones to jump off the vehicle before it slows down. Well, you do that if you know your life is in danger.


The Restored Church of Another god is not a religious “safe space.” Get out while you still can.


Message over. Mic drop. He was out the door to Utah. Good riddance.


David C. Pack is a blind false apostle teaching what God never intended as he invalidates his own words.


All any of us on the outside can do is hope and pray that there is a mass exodus from The Restored Church of Another god after the Feast of Tabernacles. We can also hope the Feast attendees “voted with their checkbooks” to tell Dave they have zero confidence in his ability to preach the truth.


God did not inspire this latest false alarm. God will not guide the next one. And only God can end these things. Let us pray He does so speedily. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.




*** This is the third time Team Faux changed the names and numbers of messages after they were posted. The latest confusion stems from the “Special Comments” on September 25 being repackaged to be Part 395. This is because Dave thought the Series was over and Jesus Christ was about to return. Dooh!


As in times past, Dave and the enablers stared at each other after the clock ticked past the deadline, and they all shrugged, "I guess God gave us more time." Then, they had to rename and renumber the last few messages causing a stir for Website Services.


Special Comments on September 25 is now Part 395.

Part 395 on October 1 is now Part 396.

Part 396 on October 1 is now Part 397.


The part numbers in the previous articles will not change. They will be kept “as delivered.” I no longer chase David C. Pack around with a dustpan and paper towels to clean up his mess.


He does not seem to mind lurking on the Third Floor with a poopy diaper. So I will let him.



 Marc Cebrian

See: Another False Alarm

Banned's Most Ardent Follower Chuckles About Us In His Old Covenant Sermon

The most ardent reader of Banned and our favorite perpetually butthurt self-appointed prophet makes mention in his first sermon of his 'feast' about how he had to chuckle after reading Banned yesterday.

Feeling the burn over producing the WORST opening night Feast of Tabernacles video in Church of God history, he had the audacity to mention being made fun of.

The Great Bwana goes on to mention that his video has had more views than expected, but fails to mention that this "achievement" was thanks to the fact that readers from Banned watched the first couple minute of it before shutting it off either in disgust or utter amazement on how ridiculous it was. I fully expect Bwana Bob to thank Banned in his sermon tomorrow for helping the viewership numbers rise unexpectedly. A REAL leader would do that.

You too can chuckle along with Chuckles Thiel in this short clip below. Chag Sameach!

Sunday, October 9, 2022

The WORST Opening Night Feast Sermon Ever Recorded!

Since the implosion of the church in the late 1990's and the rapidly shrinking Feast sites with more and more members not attending, many COG's have resorted to opening night videos to encourage the brethren. Most opening night services have historically tended to be a waste of time as members were tired from driving long distances and just wanted to relax. Instead, they were conned into coming to the opening night service where Feastival coordinators or someone further down the ministerial food chain spoke because only the most really IMPORTANT ministers spoke on the first and last days.

Imagine driving a long distance and finding out there may only be 25 -50 people in attendance and you have to listen to the Great Bwana with hands flailing about as he bounces and flounces in his chair for 35 minutes! Ghastly days, Loma! What a nightmare! In the end, you will wonder why you wasted 35 minutes of your life listening to such a pile of useless information.

The Great Bwana, the Beto of Africa, the most important minister in the Church of God since Jesus himself walked the green hills of this earth believes that you need to hear his admonitions. Never have we been blessed to have a such spiritually grounded man in our midst as we do in Beto Bob! Gerald Flurry and Dave Pack tremble at his feet in rank embarrassment.

Ever since he was almost arrested and then publicly humiliated by Rod Meredith before getting kicked out of the church, the Great Beto has been on a quest to prove the legitimacy and authority he assumes to weld as the end-time man of God. Beto uses that authority to stick his nose into the lives of his few followers by telling them how they should act at the Feast. Beto makes sure to get in as one of his first points that people give him their tithe of the tithe (a made-up command by the mother church).

Some of his very important topics for his few members are:

  • scriptural commands (of which there are none for New Covenant Christians)
  • how JC kept the feast (he did since he was a Jew)
  • festival tithe
  • daily attendance requirements
  • how they should eat
  • how they should drink
  • how they should rejoice
  • how they should exhort others
  • the jobs of members and resurrected COG members as teachers in the millennium
  • Most of all, you are to build character at the Feast by forcing yourself to sit there and listen to his mind-numbing sermons.

Almost arrested Beto writes:

This message is for the opening night of the Feast of Tabernacles for 2022 by the Continuing Church of God (CCOG). It discusses aspects of God’s plan, including peace that will ensue after Satan is bound. Dr. Thiel discusses scriptural command’s, Jesus’ observance, festival tithe, daily attendance, eating, alcohol, rejoicing, exhorting others, the role of resurrected Christians teaching others in the millennium, historic Christian understanding of the Feast of Tabernacles, enduring to the end, and the abundance in the coming Kingdom of God. Dr. Thiel mentions that the CCOG has festival sites in North America, Latin America, Africa, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, the Caribbean, and the Philippines. He also mentions that the CCOG has literature in 160 languages to reach Gentiles as well as those of Israelite heritage. Dr. Thiel encourages people to have a peaceful festival where they rejoice, gain knowledge, and help build character.

All of this drivel means absolutely NOTHING to his members in Africa. Unable to relate to his African followers he has to pass on first-world issues the church has preached on for decades, believing members were too stupid to know how to act.

You can witness the magic here:

The Rotting Fruit of the Restored Church of God


Five Lies—The Rotting Fruit of RCG


An alternate title for this article could have been "Meat Shield 3.0.” Andrew J. Holcombe gave Not-At-All “Special Comments” yesterday before his sermon proving to the entire church he has no dignity. I have now lost all respect for him.


The decline of The Restored Church of God is accelerating. Andy’s shameful remarks served no purpose but to prop up the golden calf, David C. Pack, and trumpet his specialness to the doubters still attending. And doubters there should be.


Those who want to watch a smiling man willingly compromise and provide zero value need to watch this video. It is devoid of substance. It is vile. And I counted five lies.

Weak. Ineffective. Pointless.


This 93-second video exemplifies all that is wrong with the "ministers," especially those on the Third Floor of Headquarters. The Enabler Syndrome is spreading like cancer in Wadsworth. A parasitic leech nests at the Hall of Administration, draining all critical thinking from those working there, leaving empty husks bereft of conscience and love for the truth.


(Raymond, get out while you still can.)


My sympathy for Andy has evaporated. For a “minister” of Jesus Christ to knowingly lie exposes the depths of the depravity that David C. Pack orchestrates among his acolytes.



Lie #1:

“Brethren, we are truly in an exciting place and time in prophecy.”


More exciting than in Sivan? Or Tammuz? Or Av? Or Elul? Or on Trumpets? Or this past Thursday? Or Friday, the day before? More exciting than every other presumption passed along as biblical fact since 2013? Why is NOW the time to be excited rather than all those other times? What do you say to the people that DO ride the rollercoaster of excitement each time a date is set, only to fall when it fails?


These are no words of comfort for those disappointed each time you, Jim, and Dave fail. You continually fail the people in RCG. You fail them, Andy. Your support for the false apostle you work for fails them. You are failing them as a "minister," and you are failing them as a man.


I hope someone cornered you at the coffee after Services to explain that statement. Certainly, nobody did. Those at Headquarters for the Feast have learned to keep their mouths shut, or they will be cast outside the camp. All speaking the same thing now includes all having your heads in the ground.


Andy, your words insult those still clinging on by their fingertips in RCG. A slap in the face of everyone who holds out on the hope that "Maybe Mr. Pack will be right this time." Nine years running.


Shame on you, Andy. Shame on you. Your boss fell flat on his face twice just this week, and you have the gall to tell people about "an exciting place and time in prophecy?" Are you trying to fool the audience, or are you trying to fool yourself?


Your words are empty. There is no “truly” in them. That statement is a bald-faced lie.


Lie #2

“Much has been learned.”


Nothing has been learned since 2013. Your boss admitted he has spoken presumptuously. Your boss admitted he has taught what God never intended. One week ago, he drove the point about God blinding him from prophetic understanding.


There is no learning going on with you guys. It is imaginings. It is conjuring ideas. It is manifesting theories using the Bible as an excuse to prolong the agony. When something is proven by physical reality to be false, knowledge is not "learned" because it was not knowledge to begin with. Until the passing of time proves any of your "facts," it is not a fact but a guess.


Guessing is not learning, Andy. If you wanted to be truthful, you should have said, "Much has been guessed."


On Thursday night, Dave stated, “This was extremely hard to discern until God dropped a load of proof on us.” Within 24 hours, that statement was also proven to be false. God did not provide anything. Friday came and went. Do you still hold to the idea that God provided those thoughts? Wake up, man!


Lie #3

“That letter that Mr. Pack wrote is correct.”


You cannot know that until time proves it to be the case. Do you mean NOW he is correct even though he has not been twice this week?


David C. Pack has never been correct with any of his prophetic theories. Every date the man has declared has come and gone with nothing occurring. And you know that.


You state that it is correct, but only using hope as a measurement. Your hope means squat. Time will be the real judge in all of these matters. And time has judged already. David C. Pack is a biblical fraud. Andy, you are also a biblical fraud, and blood is also on your hands.


I wonder how many of your notes you recycled from when you spoke on September 17.


Part 393

@ 01:15 A lot has been cemented and is…correct that we have proven over the course of these …almost seven years of the series in prophecy.


@ 02:39 …what Mr. Pack is going to explain has been hidden and is finally coming clear.


@ 02:44 So, brethren, we just wanted to say, don't give up. A lot has been resolved, and there is no reason to believe we're going another year.


Remember, when you said this, you and Jim and Dave were all about Trumpets. How did that work out?


For those just joining us, the Meat Shield article provides greater insight.


Lie #4

“It’s it’s we’re all we’re just right on track as he mentioned in there.”


“David C. Pack: Failing Since 2013.” That is not a track record backed by confidence-building data.


How do you back up your claim? What is different on Saturday than it was a week before? Or on Thursday? Or on Friday? Have you considered that you and Jim and Dave are maybe not the best judges of such things?


Maybe the math is correct. This time. Maybe the proofs are inarguable. This time. Maybe God whatever. This time. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. And yet, never.


While inside RCG, when I heard, “We’re right on track,” it was nails on a chalkboard. It still is. All former members remember that gaslighting insult. An empty platitude without merit and quickly proven false.


RCG is not right on track. You are not right on track, Andy. Dave will never be right on track. Take your wonderful wife and get out.


Lie #5

“Brethren, we can all just be looking forward to

what’s going to happen during the Feast.”


Nothing prophetic is going to happen during the Feast of Tabernacles this year.


Nobody in RCG is looking forward to having another eight days of The Dave Pack Show. Talk about loving the preeminence. Having a captive audience of “a good thousand people” keeps the speculation machine running on all cylinders, as is the RCG autumn tradition four years running.


David C. Pack loves to hijack the Feast of Tabernacles to make it all about him. The man who has it all figured out. Come adore me, folks. Line up to sing my praises. Just do not mention Sivan, Tammuz, Av, Elul, or Trumpets. Better yet, do not say anything that does not begin with, “Mr. Pack, you are so amazing…”


Andy, when you are stuck on that private jet with Dave and have a moment of peace to stare out the window, plot your escape. You can do it, man. Get out. (Of RCG, not the jet.)



This is another sad example of the state of mind inside The Restored Church of Another god.


“And the Feast is just about to start,

so I know that we’re all looking forward to that. I know I am.

My wife will be here at Headquarters, and I'll be traveling around."


You are looking forward to spending the Feast of Tabernacles without your very-pregnant wife! What is wrong with you? That sounds awful. That poor woman. Why would you do that?


Never mind, I get it.


God's Apostle needs you to be at his side. He is more important to you than your pregnant wife. After all, he cannot pull off the latest con with just Jim and Brad as accomplices. You have a vital position as a chief fraud architect helping to usher the demise of The Restored Church of Another god, which requires sacrifice.


When Dave suckles your teat, is it for comfort or nourishment?


Andy, someday you will have to look your child in the eyes and say, "This is what your daddy has done."


How are you going to live with that?


“By their fruits, you shall know them.”


The fruits inside The Restored Church of Another god are rotten. The fruits of David C. Pack are rotten. The fruits of Meat Shield are rotten.


But it does not have to stay that way.

Marc Cebrian

See: Five Lies—The Rotting Fruit of RCG