Saturday, January 28, 2023

Bootstrapping Salvation: The Disturbing Armstrongist Concept of Qualifying for the Kingdom


Baron von Munchausen pulling himself and his horse out of a swamp by his hair.

Bootstrapping Salvation

The Disturbing Armstrongist Concept of Qualifying for the Kingdom


By Oran


"FOR by GRACE are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God; NOT OF WORKS, lest any man should boast…!” …First, what do WE believe? Perhaps some few have thought we of the WORLD TOMORROW program, and of the staff of The PLAIN TRUTH magazine, believe in salvation BY WORKS! So, at least, it has been said of us!  But we DON'T! WE BELIEVE, THOROUGHLY, EVERY LETTER of that scripture you just read!”   (Garner Ted Armstrong, “Are You ‘Under the LAW,’ or ‘Under GRACE’?” 1963.)

The fabled Baron Von Munchausen rescued himself from deep mud by pulling himself out by his own bootstraps.  Earlier in the era of high technology, this metaphor was used to refer to starting computer systems.  The dilemma was “we need the system to start the system.”  So bootstrapping software, like a scaled-down operating system that automatically runs when power is supplied, was created for startup purposes.  Hence, we now “boot” mainframes, laptops, and workstations.  There is an analogy here between this technical usage and Armstrongist soteriology.  It is an analogy about bringing yourself to life.  A critical component of Armstrongist soteriology is a process called “qualifying.”  Qualifying will be the focus of this essay.  And unpacking this concept will tell us if Garner Ted Armstrong’s statement above is genuinely descriptive of Armstrongist soteriology or if the statement is just facile. 

Note:   The Appendix at the end contains quotations from Armstrongist literature.  The first numbered statement in the Appendix, for example, will be referred to as Q1 in the text.  There is no single, crisp definition of “qualifying” in Armstrongist literature that I could find.  So, I have had to attach this Appendix to assemble its meaning from scattered publications.  This is the downside of decentralized booklet theology.  

“Qualifying” and Dualism in Armstrongist Soteriology

Herbert W. Armstrong (HWA) defined salvation as the resurrection (see Q2). It is an end-of-life event. It is the outcome of struggling to accomplish good works over a lifetime. This struggle is referred to as “qualifying.”  At times in Armstrongist writing, qualification is a separate but parallel track next to salvation. Salvation is considered a gift (see Q1) and qualification is considered training for a position of responsibility or role in the Kingdom of God.  The idea is that you might be a city manager or mayor under the government of God.  At other times qualification is extended to salvation itself. You can find a Good News article titled “Qualifying for Eternal Life” written by Charles Hunting. Salvation is essentially eternal life. More explicitly, in another place, HWA writes that if you do not undergo spiritual development (qualifying) in this life you will lose salvation (see Q4).  The Bible does not speak directly of qualifying except in one scripture and that will be cited later.   

The principal features of qualifying are:

1.     It is performing works over a lifetime, variously described, but including overcoming, overcoming human nature, overcoming Satan, developing holy, righteous character, and spiritual growth. (see Q3, Q8) 

2.     If one qualifies, one will receive salvation. (see Q7)

3.     If one does not qualify, one will not receive salvation.  (see Q4, Q5)

At this point, I believe we should all become astute ornithologists and observe that “If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck.”  This is salvation by works.  And it stands in contravention to the opening quotation by Garner Ted Armstrong.  

In some Armstrongist publications, salvation is portrayed as a gift by grace through faith. The quote from Garner Ted Armstrong above comes from an article of this type.  Other articles may focus principally on qualifying, which, we have seen, is a surrogate term for salvation by works.  And then there are articles where both concepts co-reside.  The fact that Armstrongist soteriology encompasses both “by grace through faith” and “works” (qualifying) creates an internally inconsistent duality.  

This duality can create semantic confusion in some of the articles dealing with salvation in Armstrongist publications.  The burden of Armstrongist soteriology is carried by two concepts: the term salvation can have the mainstream Christian meaning of being saved as a gift by grace through faith while qualification emphasizes being saved through performance.  The latter entails the meaning of “earned” because it is something that you must do in order to receive something.  It is a transaction, not a gift.  These two concepts stand in opposition to each other but can occur together or separately in published material.  The two concepts are never really merged, nor can they be and still remain Biblical, so they form a static duality.  The reader must constantly be aware of this duality, of the tension between these two concepts, when reading Armstrongist material.  Any particular writing may follow one line of reasoning or the other or both.  

The implication of this duality is captured in the following formula:

Salvation = Grace plus Faith plus Works

The formulation above stands in opposition to the Christian formulation which is typically:

Salvation = Grace plus Faith

The difference between the two formulations is that in the Armstrongist version works are considered an input to salvation, a pre-condition for salvation (see Q6), while in Christianity works are considered an output of salvation, the results of a saved and changed life.  If works are an output of salvation, as in Christianity, then the Christian in doing good works does nothing to generate salvation.  If the works are an input to salvation, as in Armstrongism, then the Armstrongist must generate works in order to receive salvation.  Works are present in both formulations but their role is quite different, so different that the issue becomes a matter of heresy versus orthodoxy.  

I have read elsewhere in Armstrongist publications that since the works are not the follower’s works but works of God carried out through the follower that Armstrongist soteriology cannot possibly be salvation by our works.   In other words, Armstrongist salvation looks and behaves like salvation by works but it is not really so.  This is a novel attempt at resolving the issue of faith versus works and assumes the follower is a kind of biological robot who must execute determined actions but is not really a participant in those actions.   This interpretation denies any vestige of personal free will and undermines the principle of reward for works. 

Exegetical Counterpoints

The concept of qualification is in the New Testament but it is lost in the KJV translation. It stands out in the ESV translation of Colossians 1:12:

“… giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light … He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son…” 

“Qualified” here is the Greek word hikanoŇć and in most Bible translations this word is translated as “qualified” or “enabled.”  In this scripture, we see that God has already qualified us.  Not only has he already qualified us, but he has also already transferred us to the Kingdom of God.  This means that any good works subsequent to conversion done by the Christian proceed from salvation and are not a factor in the causation of salvation. Also, one can deduce from the Armstrongist approach, that any transferal to the Kingdom of God must be held in suspension awaiting the completion of a lifetime of acceptable works, which belief is in conflict with the second verse above.  

Another illuminating scripture is Galatians 3: 21 (ESV):

“…For if a law had been given that could give life, then righteousness would indeed be by the law.”

But the Abrahamic precedent is that righteousness is by faith.  This means that keeping the Law never has a life-giving functional role in the formula for salvation.   So, the “works” term in the following formula renders the equation invalid: Salvation = Faith plus Grace plus Works.  Emphasis on works tends towards a praxis, if not a doctrine, of perfectionism (see Q9).  There is nothing wrong with trying to be perfect.  There is something very wrong with believing that you are perfect and it will result in your salvation – that you have qualified.  This amounts to an utter rejection of Pauline theology. 


Salvation cannot be bootstrapped.  In the real world, Baron Von Munchausen must resign himself to forever being stuck in the mud.  Salvation is not our work but the work of God’s grace in our lives.  This motivated Paul to raise the absurd idea in his discourse with the Galatians that they seemed to believe that they started with the Spirit and now are being perfected by the flesh.  Faith does lead to action, however.  It is just that actions are not a cause of salvation but are correlated with salvation.  To take the phenomenon of these good actions, which are an outward sign of justification, and subsume it into a concocted program of “qualification” is to loop back to salvation by works – to start with the Spirit and try to finish with the flesh.  Without a doubt salvation as a gift is good news.  But salvation as something that must be gained by inconstant and unreliable human force against impossible odds is unreservedly bad news.  And in this distinction, we find a watershed divide in soteriology between Christianity and Classical Rupertism-Armstrongism.

Solo Christo!

Appendix of Armstrongist Quotations

This source material comes from Classical Armstrongism of the last century and not the Post-Classical Armstrongism of the many current, small Armstrongist denominations.  

1.     The Armstrongist marquee statement about salvation:


“Remember we shall be rewarded according to our works or spiritual growth, but salvation is a free gift.” (HWA, Mystery of the Ages (MOA), P. 254.)

2.     Salvation in Armstrongism defined:


“…To be glorified fully with Him, to enter into the God family, the very Family of God, the Kingdom of God, and be born by a resurrection into that Kingdom (Phil. 3:21). That is what salvation means.”  (HWA, “What is Salvation?”, Tomorrow’s World Magazine, November-December, 1970)

3.     Qualifying is the same as spiritual growth:


“He who qualified by spiritual growth and development only half as much shall reign over five cities as his reward.”  (MOA, p. 254.)

4.     Failure to grow spiritually results in the loss of salvation. 


“But what of the person who thought he “had it made into the kingdom” without spiritual growth and development? He shall have taken away from him that first portion of the Holy Spirit—he shall lose the salvation he mistakenly thought he had.“ (MOA, p. 254)

5.     Qualifying is not just about training for a role in the Kingdom; it is about opposing sin in your life which relates directly to salvation (see point 6 below). 


“Now He's (Jesus) gone up there to receive His crown, and when He comes, He will be crowned with many crowns. And He's coming back to earth soon and to bring you your crown. But you have got to qualify, Jesus had to qualify. He had to live above sin. Now you have not done that, I have not done that, but we have to repent of the way we did, and never do it again.”   (HWA, “Are You Qualifying of Disqualifying Yourself?”, Sermon Transcript, Feast of Tabernacles, no date.)

6.     And Obedience to law is a pre-condition for salvation:


“Jesus tells us that our OBEDIENCE to the Ten Commandments is an absolute PREREQUISITE to receiving God's gift of eternal life (Mat. 19:16-17).” (Ambassador College Bible Correspondence Course, Lesson 17, 1966.)

7.     Qualifying is not just to rule in the Kingdom but to enter it at all.  Inheriting the Kingdom is defined in WCG literature as salvation (see point 2 above). 


“THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE CALLED FOR BRETHREN, AND IF YOU CAN'T DO IT, YOU HAVEN'T YET QUALIFIED; YOU'RE NOT READY YET FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD. “(HWA,” Are You Qualifying or Disqualifying Yourself?”, Feast of Tabernacles Sermon, No Date) 

8.     “Qualifying” is equivalent to the term “overcoming.”  Overcoming is on the critical path to salvation. 


“In seven other places in Revelation the word "overcometh" is used to designate a person who has qualified. “  (Charles Hunting, “Are You Qualified For Eternal Life - Now?”, Good News Magazine, August, 1966.) 

“If you continue overcoming, growing spiritually — and all this actually through God's power — you shall inherit the Kingdom of God, and be made immortal to live forever in happiness and joy!” (HWA, “What do you mean…SALVATION?”, 1973)

9.     Finally, the idea of qualifying inevitably leads to the ideas that you can keep God’s law and perfectionism:


“Then God will give you the Holy Spirit, through which you will receive the love to keep His law.”  (Roderick C. Meredith,” Is OBEDIENCE to God Required for Salvation?”, 1956.)

”If you are really following Christ — LIVING as He lived, DOING as He did — keeping God's LAW as He did…”  (Garner Ted Armstrong,” What Is REAL REPENTANCE?”, The Plain Truth Magazine, December, 1972. )


Commercial Break: The Theory of Stupidity


The Theory of Stupidity: Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, (born February 4, 1906—died April 9, 1945, German Protestant theologian important for his support of ecumenism and his view of Christianity’s role in a secular world. His involvement in a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler led to his imprisonment and execution. His Letters and Papers from Prison, published posthumously in 1951, is perhaps the most profound document of his convictions.

“Debating an idiot is like trying to play chess with a pigeon — it knocks the pieces over, craps on the board, and flies back to its flock to claim victory.”

Evil is easy to identify and fight against; not so with stupidity.


The Enemy Within

When we know something or someone is evil, we can take steps to fight it. With stupidity, it is much more difficult. 
Dietrich Bonhoeffer argues that stupidity is worse than evil because stupidity can be manipulated and used by evil. 
He also argues that stupidity tends to go hand-in-hand with acquiring power — that is, being in power means we surrender our individual critical faculties.
In comic books and action movies, we know who the villain is. They wear dark clothes, kill on a whim, and cackle madly at their diabolical scheme. In life, too, we have obvious villains — the dictators who violate human rights or serial killers and violent criminals. As evil as these people are, they are not the biggest threat, since they are known. Once something is a known evil, the good of the world can rally to defend and fight against it. As Bonhoeffer puts it, “One may protest against evil; it can be exposed and, if need be, prevented by use of force. Evil always carries within itself the germ of its own subversion.”
Stupidity, though, is a different problem altogether. We cannot so easily fight stupidity for two reasons. First, we are collectively much more tolerant of it. Unlike evil, stupidity is not a vice most of us take seriously. We do not lambast others for ignorance. We do not scream down people for not knowing things. Second, the stupid person is a slippery opponent. They will not be beaten by debate or open to reason. What’s more, when the stupid person has their back against the wall — when they’re confronted with facts that cannot be refuted — they snap and lash out.
Bonhoeffer puts it like this:
“Neither protests nor the use of force accomplish anything here; reasons fall on deaf ears; facts that contradict one’s prejudgment simply need not be believed — in such moments the stupid person even becomes critical — and when facts are irrefutable, they are just pushed aside as inconsequential, as incidental. In all this the stupid person, in contrast to the malicious one, is utterly self-satisfied and, being easily irritated, becomes dangerous by going on the attack.”
With great power comes great stupidity

Stupidity, like evil, is no threat as long as it hasn’t got power. We laugh at things when they are harmless — such as my brother’s ignorance of reindeer. This won’t cause me any pain. Therefore it’s funny.

The problem with stupidity, though, is that it often goes hand-in-hand with power. Bonhoeffer writes,

“Upon closer observation, it becomes apparent that every strong upsurge of power in the public sphere, be it of a political or of a religious nature, infects a large part of humankind with stupidity.”

This works in two ways. The first is that stupidity does not disbar you from holding office or authority. History and politics are swimming with examples of when the stupid have risen to the top (and where the smart are excluded or killed). Second, the nature of power requires that people surrender certain faculties necessary for intelligent thought — faculties like independence, critical thinking, and reflection.

Bonhoeffer’s argument is that the more someone becomes part of the establishment, the less an individual they become. A charismatic, exciting outsider, bursting with intelligence and sensible policies, becomes imbecilic the moment he takes office. It’s as if, “slogans, catchwords and the like… have taken possession of him. He is under a spell, blinded, misused, and abused in his very being.”

Power turns people into automatons. Intelligent, critical thinkers now have a script to read. They’ll engage their smiles rather than their brains. When people join a political party, it seems like most choose to follow suit rather than think things through. Power drains the intelligence from a person, leaving them akin to an animated mannequin.

Theory of stupidity

Bonhoeffer’s argument, then, is that stupidity should be viewed as worse than evil. Stupidity has far greater potential to damage our lives. More harm is done by one powerful idiot than a gang of Machiavellian schemers. We know when there’s evil, and we can deny it power. With the corrupt, oppressive, and sadistic, we know where we stand. You know how to take a stand.
But stupidity is much harder to weed out. That’s why it’s a dangerous weapon: Because evil people find it hard to take power, they need stupid people to do their work. Like sheep in a field, a stupid person can be guided, steered, and manipulated to do any number of things. Evil is a puppet master, and it loves nothing so much as the mindless puppets who enable it — be they in the general public or inside the corridors of power.

The lesson from Bonhoeffer is to laugh at those daft, silly moments when in close company. But, we should get angry and scared when stupidity takes reign.

Stupidity, though, has its dark side. For theologian and philosopher Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the stupid person is often more dangerous than the evil one. With great power comes great stupidity. Stupidity, like evil, is no threat as long as it hasn’t got power....

Friday, January 27, 2023

Dual Minded Crackpot Prophet Believes His Articles Are Going To Influence Thousands Of Religious Academics


God's most highly blessed prophet that he has sent to the world in the last 5,993 years is puffing his little chest out again believing his writings are so significant and truthful that they will now be able to reach untold audiences of readers and religious leaders who are going to be so enthralled by his writings that they will drop everything they are doing and join the one true church (his church), the church so perfect it knew the correct books of the New Testament centuries ago before those dumb pseudo-Christians canonized it in the year 393. Bwana Bob leads the only true Church of God that can trace its lineage to those early true Christians.

The dual-minded prophet has been spreading his message around the internet since well before his apostasy from the Living Church of God in December 2012. For the last decade-plus he has been doing this, NO ONE other than 150 people worldwide has decided to join him from "British-Israelite" countries. His influence has been unimaginably pathetic for a "true" COG leader.

Reaching Religious Writers
Yesterday, I uploaded some information related to our book: Who Gave the World the Bible? The Canon: Why do we have the books we now do in the Bible? Is the Bible complete? to, whose logo is shown below:

This is something I had intended to do last month, but was not able to get to it. I plan to do more of this later this year. 
Anyway, the use of is an interesting open door as it helps us reach readers and leaders that we otherwise would be less likely to reach. These religious writers are now getting exposed to organized historical information about the true Church of God, and in this case, evidence of why the early Church of God knew the books of the New Testament centuries before the Greco-Roman councils did. Not only is this a witness (cf. Matthew 24:14), it is also an avenue that could get more doctrinal truth to others should any refer to our literature or the CCOG in any of their writings. has over 71 million articles and the Great Bwana thinks his buffoonery is going to have an impact. Hilarious!

Bwana Bob is also playing into the hands of a company making money off him that Forbes Magazine says goes towards venture capital funding groups. In fact, it is so bad that Forbes recommended that all real academics delete thier accounts.

It Is Not A "Real" .edu
First and foremost? That web address is more than a little deceptive. As Kathleen Fitzpatrick, Associate Executive Director and Director of Scholarly Communication at the Modern Language Association (MLA) remarked on her blog, "the first thing to note is that, despite its misleading top level domain (which was registered by a subsidiary prior to the 2001 restrictions), is not an educationally-affiliated organization, but a dot-com, which has raised millions in multiple rounds of venture capital funding." Historian Seth Denbo probably said it best when, almost a year and a half ago, he warned scholars that they were providing free data to a for-profit company rather than participating in an open-source, non-profit often associated with .edu domains. Dear Scholars, Delete Your Account At Academia.Edu

Also, they do something that is right up Bwana Bob's alley. Paying to get recognized.

Paying For Status
Last year at this time, the site received a hefty amount of criticism due to its emailed queries to scholars asking if they might want to pay a "small fee" in exchange for getting papers "recommended" on the site. In other words, they were offering to signal boost publications in exchange for money. This was met with quite a bit of backlash from users and some especially bad PR, which essentially seemed to kill the initiative. However, the site remained committed to figuring out how to get more money from users by introducing the "premium feature" in late December.
This feature allows users to get special data analytics about who is reading their papers, including the "role" (i.e. the rank) of the person looking at their work. Emails even go out to users letting know the percentile (a top 4% scholar!) of the person downloading their work. Are we supposed to somehow value that a full professor looked at our work over, say, an adjunct? The new feature is academic class politics to a new level--and it only promotes the further stratification of the academy. 
Dear Scholars, Delete Your Account At Academia.Edu

And, it gets worse:

Is safe or a scam?

On TrustPilot, has received an unsatisfactory rating of 1.5-stars, with 89% of customers reviewing the service as “bad.” The main complaint concerns the extent of the free services offered by Despite promising free access to research papers and academic journals, many research materials available on the site will only let you view the first page of the paper; the site heavily encourages you to subscribe to membership to access the entire document.

Paying members who subscribe to the company seem, for the most part, happy with the service they receive. However, the free services offered are minimal and often a disguise to make customers pay for the service. Many customers comment that “is nothing but a scam,” as the site constantly grabs at customers’ money. 
Also, is criticized as being deceptive, using the .edu domain while not belonging to an educationally-affiliated organization. Following a recent report by Forbes, the site has been heavily criticized for this, despite gaining the domain legally at the time.

It makes sense that such a piss-poor prophet who got his diploma from an unaccredited Indian diploma mill would use a site like this to promote his writings.

Poor Bob, always the bridesmaid and never the bride.

Restored Church of God: “…we wanted to inoculate you to the possibility…that any hour of any day works”





Monday, January 23 @ 10:04 AM ET

Tuesday, January 24 @ 10:05 AM ET

Wednesday, January 25 @ 10:06 AM ET

Thursday, January 26 @ 10:07 AM ET

Thursday, January 26 @ 11:35 PM ET


You cannot make this stuff up.


It is hard to decide whether to laugh or scream.


Based on a posting last night, David C. Pack is broadcasting that he is counting on the brethren of The Restored Church of God to be blind idiots suffering from short-term memory loss.


Maybe that is too harsh. He needs them to be acquiescent weaklings ignorant of the Bible, so paralyzed with fear they choose the vexation of inaction over applying godly principles to free themselves from a false prophet preaching a false god.


That is what he is banking on. But that is not WHO they are.


Members know what is going on and are doing their best to cope. One universal strategy is to stop listening to Dave. Across the board, people I communicate with still inside The Restored Church of God admits to avoiding Dave at every opportunity. Some only listen to him when they are forced to during Services because other brethren are there. Otherwise, “A new Part? Skip.”


Can you imagine? The Pastor General thinks his knowledge came down from heaven, and he is charged under the penalty of death to preach it, and the sheep paying his salary cannot stand the sound of his voice. God's True Church, indeed.


Dave is also crossing his fingers that none of these captives exercise their minds as he instructed because that would only lead to disaster. Critical thinking and Bible study expose what David C. Pack is. He is not a goodman. Never was. Never will be.


Brian Jackson and Larry Cockshutt now have to hold their breath every time they check their email.



Before reading the update, remember what was said six days ago during “The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 416).”


Part 416 – January 21, 2023

@ 00:32 Go into this knowing Abib 1 is still our absolute prophetic anchor. It’s inviolable.

@ 23:30 I can tell you, I’m about out of material. I do not plan another message beyond tonight.

@ 24:28 Because I’m telling you, after seven years and over two more months, the well is dry.

@ 29:45 And when correctly understood with what I'm gonna call "stone-cold math," we may know exactly where we are in a few minutes.

@ 34:23 Because Abib 1 is not gonna move. It’s Mount Everest…it’s fixed. It can’t float away on us.

@ 41:37 So, if I’m reading this correctly [Matthew 24:15-20], I don’t see any way you can even get to Thursday morning our time. It’s stone-cold math.

@ 47:07 It is interesting that the goodman of the house is charged with telling the brethren the hour and the watch…when the thief would come. And so, I've told you that. Per Headquarters time, it's around 10 in the morning. Anytime from tomorrow morning, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and I guess if you'd say Thursday…It's possible. It's possible.

@ 48:18 Because the Kingdom may actually be longer than 45 days. It could be 46-7-8 or 9 days. It just can’t be more than that.

@ 1:00:17 The long struggle is over.

@ 1:02:21 I think math has brought us what we’ve been waiting for a long time. Good night.


Yeah. About all of that…


Dave’s stone-cold math turned out to be more hot air.


When things like this keep repeating, it would be wise to ask, “Where did that idea come from in the first place? From the mind of God? From the Spirit of Error? From a madman?”


Another heinous block of text appeared in Member Services last night. It ain’t pretty.



Prophecy Update – January 26, 2023


Yesterday’s email still applies, but we wanted to inoculate you to the possibility of time continuing for days, not just hours. We thought the delay was hours, when in fact it could be days. There are now even more metrics proving this is the year. One thing that has troubled us for a very long time is that a number of verses point to the possibility/probability(?) that Christ seemed to be on schedule for a Sabbath arrival. We would not know the hour, including the complicated fact that the Sabbath is somewhere on Earth for 48 hours. But remember that any hour of any day works.



“…we wanted to inoculate you to the possibility…”


They want to inoculate the brethren to the idea that timing is wrong, just not the source. The understanding is wrong, but not the man who invented it. The conclusions were off, but not the mouth that spoke the words.


Why do the enablers at Headquarters not consider that David C. Pack is the problem, not how the Bible is being privately interpreted?


Because that is what enablers do. They enable. They excuse. They ignore the harsh truth of reality. The Pastor General of The Restored Church of God failed five times this week, and the Headquarters hirelings are totally fine with it.


Bradford Schleifer – Fine with it

Edward Winkfield – Fine with it

Ryan Denee – Fine with it (actually not behind closed doors)

Jaco Viljoen – Fine with it (actually not, but prefers Ohio to South Africa)

Timothy Ranney – Fine with it

Kenneth Orel – Fine with it (wondering what everyone is talking about)

Carl Houk – Fine with it

James Habboush – Fine with it (a hot wife means God can take as long as He wants)

Andrew Holcombe – Fine with it

Salasi Jezhi – Fine with it (actually not, but forces a smile)

Frank Lydick – Fine with it (maybe not, but hard to read)

Raymond Garb – Fine with it (realizing too late he is in over his head)



“…are now even more metrics proving…”


Please tell me that even the All-Believing Zealots no longer buy this empty assurance. These have the same value as the unpresented points from Part 416 that evaporated by Monday. That is an old magician's trick. The illusion of substance is shattered by objective scrutiny.


“I’ve got one million dollars in my pocket.”

"Oh, yeah? Show me."

“Believe me. It’s there.”

“Prove it.”

"I have to go pee."


Abib 1 was curiously not mentioned during this Pathetic Update but was substituted with “proving this is the year.” They could be foreshadowing that Abib 1 is no longer “our prophetic anchor of the soul.”


That is the speculation of an unordained non-prophet/non-psychic specializing in Dave Whispering. The acceptable margin for error is +/- 10%.



“…any hour of any day works.”


Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Haaaaaa haaa haaa haaa ha ha.


And there is the punchline. A big, fat Headquarters shrug to send folks off into the weekend.


This is the blue sky, “all is possible with God” conclusion of the matter. Throw out all 416+ parts of “The Greatest Unending Story!” because any hour of any day works. We are so thankful to have you guys around to relay such profound secrets of the cosmos!


Did Dave roll back the Prophetic Understanding Clock to Pre-Elul 24 2012 thinking?


I do not think so. That was in reference to the timing being "this year" with Abib 1 not yet officially divorced. Maybe a trial separation. That does not always end in doom for a marriage. But it does not look good.



It is anyone’s guess who will be thrown into the fire up to the lectern on Sabbath to make insulting reassuring comments to irritate encourage the members of RCG. Dave will be too cowardly busy to come down from the Ivory Tower Third Floor Executive Imaginarium to look people in their faces and tell them how off on track they are.


Part 417 is on the way. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. One more step on the road to Part 500.


The Spirit of Error is fully rooted in the Hall of Administration at Headquarters. It is hard to know if David C. Pack is the parasite or the host in that relationship.


The Pathetic Update tried to soothe the brethren from further disappointment and confusion. Instead, consider rereading “Is ‘That Prophet’ Alive Today?” and “There Came A Falling Away.” Give the three-part “30 Reasons to Follow the Truth” sermon a fresh listen.


Brethren of The Restored Church of God, do not settle for excuses. Prove all things. Engage in critical thinking. Exercise your mind.


Use the Bible to inoculate yourself against the fraudulent teachings of David C. Pack.

Marc Cebrian

See: Inoculate 

Thursday, January 26, 2023

People of The Restored Church of God: Please Consider...


Please Consider


Four David C. Pack prophetic failures have occurred this week, with a fifth to occur tonight at 11:35 PM. No matter what sunrise or sunset is in Jerusalem, the disappointments for The Restored Church of God shall continue because the Pastor General is not a goodman.



Please Consider:


God is about to culminate His plan that has been in motion before the Garden. This plan included His Son coming to earth in the flesh to die horribly on a stake so that mankind could have a Savior. God and Jesus Christ waited another two thousand years to get to the next few hours.


David C. Pack gives up a world-class swimming career to attend the unaccredited educational institute, Ambassador College of The Worldwide Church of God.


Due to apostasy and then church corruption, David C. Pack established The Restored Church of God in 1999. This house will be where the truths revealed by Herbert W. Armstrong will be preserved and taught until Jesus Christ returns. Without compromise. That is a promise.


Well, until 95% of that understanding needs to be snatched from the dead man’s clutches. This is by grand design, so just accept it.


David C. Pack was divinely inspired in 2005 to understand he is an apostle. Not only that but Joshua, the High Priest of Zechariah 3. As if being mentioned in the Bible once was not enough, this same man is also Elijah the Prophet of Malachi 4. A type of John the Baptist. The Seventh Angel of Revelation. A type of John in Revelation. A type of Ezekiel measuring the temple. He is the righteous from the east. He is the faithful priest. He is the twig. He is the man in linen talking with Daniel. He is David. He is a type of Moses.


Jesus Christ is not That Prophet. David C. Pack is.


David C. Pack is all of those biblical figures because it was revealed to him that it was so.


His speaking fulfills prophecy dozens of times. He reveals the Man of Sin a few times. He unseals Daniel a few times. He unseals Revelation despite John being told not to seal it.


The man possesses no fear of God when he adds to and takes away from the words of the Bible because it is revealed to him that he has the authority to do so. Definitions bend to his will. Numbers are readily manipulated with verbal magic turning lead into prophetic gold through arcane alchemy.


"The Greatest Untold Story!" is required for salvation. The 416-plus epic reveals the Mystery of God in a definitive way using inarguable proofs laid out in a way impossible to misunderstand with metrics that break if another year passes, which utilize stone-cold mathematics.


The coming of the Kingdom of God is the next most-significant occurrence in human existence. The Father knows when this will occur, and He cannot let it fail. David C. Pack is charged with teaching these hidden truths accurately. The Kingdom of God cannot come until His chosen servant correctly prepares God’s people. 


Everything in Creation had led to a specific day: Shevat 4. That is today. January 26, 2023.


Today, the 45-day Kingdom of God begins, followed by a 10-day Tribulation that ends on March 22, 2023. That day is Abib 1, when the Day of the Lord starts, precisely 55 days from today.


God needs this to come together in perfect harmony with all the scriptures so His Word is not broken.



And yet:


God does not give David C. Pack an utterance for certainty’s sake. God removes His servant’s dunamis and never allows him to show any signs of an apostle. He blinded the man instead. God played a few ruses along the path just to see who would leave and who would stay.


David C. Pack confessed to speaking presumptuously. Early parts of the Series have been permanently removed from the Sermon Library in Member Services due to the rampant errors and their “uninspired” nature. God allowed His apostle to set false dates by tricking him into seeing patterns in the Bible that were never there. God inspired David C. Pack to spend hours studying, preparing, and delivering knowingly-fraudulent teachings. By grand design, so just accept it.


His servant claims, “On God’s authority…” on matters later proven false. His servant sometimes thinks he is Elijah the Prophet, but at other times, he will be raised as Elijah in the future. David C. Pack is telling, not foretelling. He is prophesying but understood only as “inspired preaching” once the office of prophet is demystified.


The words of God’s chosen vessel are so contradictory and error-filled the Bible needs to be ignored just to tolerate him. He has proven to not be a man of his word. He cannot be trusted, even when he quotes himself. Fact-checking and dictionaries are thorns in the flesh for David C. Pack. He has been caught lying, fabricating, and embellishing. He has a proven record of not being faithful with even the little things. As the Bible describes, he is the antithesis of a faithful preacher of righteousness.


During this process, the faithful sheep are left distraught and confused. Some to the point they quit and give up everything. The cowards at Headquarters dare not leave the 99 remaining because it was only one stupid weakling who wandered off that was probably a tare anyhow.


Let the devil have them. When the Lake of Fire appears, they will be sorry because David C. Pack will be proven right. This is the plan of God in motion.



And yet:


The brethren of the Restored Church of God must continue to believe Pastor General David C. Pack no matter how many failures and proven falsehoods are laid at his feet.


He surrounds himself with the weakest, most compromising men he could possibly find. These hirelings care not for the sheep but love their ceiled houses increased with goods, who have need of nothing. They are enablers that support the system of deceit for their own gain.


This is The Restored Church of God.


Is David C. Pack the man God has chosen?


Does David C. Pack speak with God’s authority?


Is this the way God always intended His plan to be carried out?


Does any of this sound like the God of the Bible?


If it is all true, is this a God you want to worship and spend eternity with?


And be like?


Or David C. Pack is just a man more lost than anyone in The Restored Church of God.



David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God is not an apostle. He is not Elijah. He is not a goodman.


If this were Old Testament times, he would be asleep under a pile of rocks. Do not stone him, but pray he repents. And think about not giving him any more of your money.


Following his teachings are chasing after mirages in the desert. Your thirst only increases, and when you get there, you find barren sand because he has already moved on to the next distant hill.


The man tells you everything you need to hear to know if he is true or not. Listen to him closely. Pay attention to his words. Did the Kingdom of God arrive today?


People of The Restored Church of God: Please Consider.

Marc Cebrian

See: Please Consider