Saturday, March 10, 2012

Wadsworth Ohio: "This town is going to be like the movie "Footloose" before we know it."

notice the subliminal seduction by posing in front of Herb and Loma's picture 
as if Dave and wife and carrying on that tradition. 

There was an article this weekend about Dave Pack and his cult headquarters in Wadsworth.    Click on the link above to read it. We now know that his Wadsworth congregation is 140 members and 67 people work at his cult headquarters.  There is more pablum about being the largest Internet minister on the face of the entire earth:

Plans include a four-story, 38,000-square-foot administration building; a 450-seat auditorium; and a three-story, 19,200-square-foot training facility that will house a printing and mailing center, office space and classrooms. The church, which has more than 370 congregations in more than 50 countries and employs 67 people at its headquarters, plans to launch its cable television ministry this fall. (370 congregations translates to 6 people or less on the average)

Average attendance at Saturday afternoon worship services, which are typically reserved for members, is about 140. Visitors are invited by a member or a minister, usually after viewing videos and reading literature at its website ( Once a minister is satisfied that the individual understands the basic doctrine, he or she is invited to a service. Membership is made official at baptism, usually three to 12 months after a first visit. Baptism is offered only to adults.

Did you know that Packman made a PERSONAL promise to Herbert Armstrong to continue his ministry and doctrines?  Pack is a liar, plain and simple!  HWA never said any such thing to Pack.

After his graduation in 1971, Pack served congregations in Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, New York, New Jersey and Ohio. His role expanded to training and supervising ministers. Pack said he established the Wadsworth ministry because he was determined to keep his promise to Armstrong of continuing his doctrines.

The best part of the article are the comments that follow the article from Wadsworth citizens:

Sounds like a rather large business venture. Time to start paying taxes. We're getting tired of subsidizing religious businesses.

 I still think this space would be better occupied by Costco.  

Why, Wadsworth? Freaking WHY?
How in the world is this going to be a benefit to our community?

Oh joy a cable TV ministry.... Good grief.  

Pretty grand plans for 140 members. Sumthin ain't quite raight heah.

My favorite:  This town is going to be like the movie "Footloose" before we know it.

Perhaps it's time to add your comments to the Akron Beacon Journal article and let the world know the REAL side of Davey.  Add your comment here:  Article comments


Vidal Has Another Orgasmic Restored Church of God Slobber Fest

Brother Vidal is back over at Dave Pack's ass kissing site for rebellious back stabbing ministers from United Church of God.  Vidal still wants to remind you on what an IMPORTANT man he is.  He is an attorney. ATTORNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  In case you missed it each time he writes.  An attorney from Nigeria were all the scam artists are from and attorneys pass bribes under the table to get things done.  Nigeria, where ethics and human rights are not major concerns.  Yes, Dave should be very proud to have an Nigerian attorney in his midst, not that Vidal has any of these bad characteristics mind you, it adds more legitimacy to his organization.  But you have to wonder: ethics - Armstrongism - Nigeria - three things that do NOT have good track records.

Greetings, brethren! My name is Vidal N. Wachuku, pastor of congregations in Miami, Florida and the Caribbean. You may recall from my earlier posts that I am a fulltime minister in The Restored Church of God, having been previously employed as an attorney in Nigeria.

Vidal wants you to know that Dave Packs cult headquarters is unparalleled in the universe for it's hospitality, majesty, and warmth.  No other Church of God on the face of the earth has ever been as warm and converted as the folks at RCG.  Of course this is a direct slam at UCG where Vidal and the rest of his slobbering buddies defected from.  UCG apparently was a hostile environment filled with bitter people, ugly buildings and sub quality literature and materials.

But another thing also stood out: We could scarcely believe that the whole world was being reached from this relatively small complex! We had expected to see a massive complex with a huge staff swarming all over the place—but instead we saw a smaller group, totally dedicated to the Work (this was over three years ago—the staff is now much bigger). The atmosphere was charged with the infectious joy produced by God’s Spirit. We could then understand why the magazines and books we had been receiving were of such high quality!
Vidal hasn't even got to the greatest man on earth today, Dave Pack.  I can only imagine what he will say when he walks into the awesome presence of the most perfect, righteous, and tallest Apostle to ever walk the earth.  Oh wait!  Here it comes:

Meeting Mr. David Pack was another defining moment. The man simply defied all we had heard and read about him. We were momentarily taken aback.

His magnificence radiates from his most awesome presence.  You would think Vidal was describing Jesus, but no, he is describing Dave. A mortal, flesh and blood, sinful, and most degenerate man.

Then Brother Vidal takes another direct slam at the UCG brethren he stabbed in the back.  Now he takes the knife and twists it as he shoves it in:

In the following days, we noticed something that is hardly found anywhere else. All staff members, ministry and lay members alike, were willing to help and assist in every possible way. You could see and feel the cooperation and dedication to duty without the competitiveness that pervades the world. Everyone worked as though there were no tomorrow. There was order, precision, courtesy and consideration for one another. Above all, God’s quality was reflected in everything! The picture we saw was that of one big, happy family!

Once again we are told that UCG Headquarters employees are  lazy slackards who could not give a rat's ass about spreading the gospel.  Disorder, chaos, rudeness, are the trademarks of the UCG employees.  UCG is obviously one incredibly small, sniveling and  miserable broken family.

Brother Vidal then goes on to describe how he and his wife felt a little disconcerted by the Stepford Wife atmosphere.  Was it real or just a show.?  Then Vidal talks about how they were invited back a second time (while still on UCG's payroll) and they saw the awesomeness all over again.

As with our first visit, we proved—again, to our shame!—that what we saw was not a fluke or a show, but the reality of how God’s Headquarters operated. The orderliness, precision, love, care, concern, friendliness and emphasis on quality were pervasive. Brethren were helpful, always on hand to transport us to and from the office and to wherever we wanted to go. We never—not even once—noticed any feelings of disenchantment. I mean, what more could anyone ask?

I guess UCG must sure be a hell hole to work at.  RCG is just the most awesome place on the face of the entire earth.  Rainbows, lollipops and cotton candy float through the air in this sweeter than life world.

Vidal wants you to know that the headquarters of Dave Pack is a continuation of Herbert Armstrong's standards of quality and excess.  Only the best will do, at the poor members expense though.  As a minister, Vidal could care less about the poor folk that pay his salary and free plane trips for him and his entire family back and forth to Africa till he signed on the dotted line with Dave.  Now he is in the States where he can freely jump on a short flight to bask in the awesomeness of God's most perfect man and COG Headquarters.

Brethren, we serve a God of quality, and the only place where He is working today reflects this in a host of ways. As mentioned earlier, by merely stepping into RCG Headquarters, you begin to see evidence of this. You have a feeling of being transported to another time and place. The absence of chaos and disorder is electrifying. The sharp professional appearance of employees is captivating. Work ethics are of the highest standards. Staff members beam with smiles at every opportunity. The inner peace and joy that comes with knowing whom you are serving radiates from every face. You do not see the sloppiness common in many of today’s work environments.
Then once again he slams UCG and the other splinter groups as he goes on to describe the substandard literature churned out by these splinter groups:

The Church’s publications, though given away absolutely free of charge, are of the highest standard, particularly when compared to what the various splinter groups publish. Looking at their literature and materials, you should want to know why your leaders churn out substandard publications despite the millions of tithe dollars they appropriate!

 Then he writes what the PR Department at RCG has been trying to promote about the church.  Dave has the LARGEST Bible based set of materials and web sites that the world has ever seen. We bow at your greatness. We are in awe of your magnificence, we tremble at your presence.  We laugh our asses off........

Our websites,, and not only contain the largest arsenal of Bible-based materials the world has ever seen, but also reflect the God of quality whom we serve. I urge you to take a serious look at them!

Then Vidal goes on to end with a final slobbering suck fest that is appallingly sickening.

Contrary to what we see from the largest splinter’s “Bible Center” and from others, RCG’s Ambassador Center and its products represent excellence, dedication and dignity. The comportment and demeanor of AC students are unrivalled, and the instructors are tested men who live by what they teach. Even though I have had the privilege of passing through University, Law School, Leadership and Entrepreneurship training institutions, none of them prepared me for the unique AC experience. This is one place that strives for the highest standards of professionalism, etiquette and decorum. It prepares you not just to earn a living, but to live life to the fullest the way God intended.

Where is the barf bag that we all need after this saccharine induced slobber fest.  Read it all here, if you dare and if you have a barf bag ready.  The Epitome of Quality

Friday, March 9, 2012

Andrew On: Reality Check (at Passover)

Reality Check

The Jewish Passover is now about a month away. Already the Armstrongites are busy ramping up for the most wonderful and labor-intensive time of their year. Everyone must sort through their entire home, automobile, and workspace, searching for crumbs. These crumbs represent the leaven of sin and must be painstakingly picked out, vacuumed up, or somehow thrown away. (As though that actually accomplished something besides spring cleaning). Meanwhile, as everyone is busy focusing on that, their internal spiritual bakeries keep pumping out thousands of fluffy loaves every day. Yet no one seems to notice that, let alone do anything about it, all the way through the Days of Unleavened Bread. Oh, the humanity.

Let’s be honest for a moment. Really, what’s the point of this cleaning exercise? Shouldn’t the Armstrongite focus on shutting down their internal spiritual bakeries, rather than focusing on each and every piddly physical crumb? But that’s how the bible got interpreted. It’s too late to change it now. Everyone already knows that’s what you have to do to please god for Passover. Still, Passovers come and Passovers go, and even though I am sure their homes are a little cleaner for it, Armstrongites never seem to benefit from the ritual in any other way.

The truth is, the only way that a person could know that their interpretation of the bible and the way they lived their life were pleasing to an omnipotent creator, in reality, not just in their imagination, is if He came down and spoke to them, the way the bible says he did to Adam, Eve, Cain, Noah, Abraham, Moses, etc. Jesus Christ and all the writers of the bible were all dead and gone before the year 100AD. That means that for at least 1,912 years, the Christian God has been officially silent. Where did he go?

Whether or not God has come and spoken to anyone during the last 1,912 years (or at all, for that matter) is anyone’s guess. After all, today the quickest way to wind up with a new jacket and a padded apartment is to tell someone that God has been speaking to you.

It’s pretty easy to make a biblical case that the "true religion" of the Hebrews was momentarily restored by Ezra and Nehemiah following their return from captivity to rebuild Jerusalem approximately 2,450 years ago. After that, the Jews took the Tanakh (Old Testament), and embellished it with arcane, bizarre, and even contradictory traditions.

Judaism has little to do with scripture anymore and everything to do with the Talmud, which had already become its central text by the time Jesus walked the earth (even though it was still oral, and not yet written down). Rabbis have traditionally taught that the core of the Talmud is supposedly God’s own interpretation of scripture (a likely story). However, much of rabbinical law, not just that of rabbinical origin, such as the wearing of yarmulkes, but also that of biblical origin, such as the injunction not to mix meat and dairy, have both drifted so far from anything scriptural, or even anything sensible, that they could rightly said to be crazy.

When Jesus Christ came along, the establishment of Jewish religion had already gone off the deep end, and according to the gospel accounts he told them as much in rather direct terms. It is easy for the Christian to conclude that one of the purposes of Jesus Christ’s appearance in the first century AD was to get the "true religion" of the Hebrews "back on track" with a "reality check."

Not surprisingly, that didn’t happen. What happened instead was the Jews killed Jesus and continued on without interruption. Meanwhile, the followers of Jesus would form a radical new sect based upon the same scriptures, minus the Talmud, plus some new writings now called the New Testament. Judaism and Christianity are really just two sects of the same religion, albeit with many huge disagreements. In the last 2,000 years, Christianity has gone a different direction than Judaism, but has still drifted into a similar type of territory.

The trouble is, none of these sects know where they’re going. Without any navigational aids, milemarkers, or guideposts, every sect will eventually descend into one sort of insanity and corruption or another. Over time they will fragment into innumerable different sects that each need to believe their trajectory is the one and only path that is pleasing to God. However, without a "reality check" to bring people back into line with something that at least makes sense, they just keep going further and further and further afield.

What’s more, as history has shown, organized religion does not even want any "reality checks." Religious leaders don’t really care if the course of their religion is true or not. They are satisfied so long as they are able to "lord it over" other people, command unquestioned respect, and extort an income. Accepting "reality checks" compromises religious leader’s abilities to do those other three things. It was true 2,000 years ago, and it’s just as true today.

With so much confusion, where is a sincere person to turn? If a human being really wants to live an "unleavened" life, to whom can he go for a "reality check"? Alas, there is no human being you can go to for that.

With this in mind, the bottom line for any religious person should be finding God for a personal "reality check." That should not mean finding him in some man’s church, no matter how historic. It should not mean finding him in some superstitious desire to believe, regardless of how many (or how few) people may share those beliefs. It means finding him in the reality in which you live, instead of just in the wishful thinking of either your own imagination, or else in the imaginations you’ve borrowed from others.

The biggest reason why there is so much religious difference and confusion is that for at least 1,912 years it seems that God hasn’t even permitted any "reality checks." Acts 17:27 states that God is not far from "each of us." Whether that was true then or not, I cannot now say. All the religious confusion is the evidence that suggests no one has heard from God for a long time. Today, individuals and ancient monolithic churches are all adrift in the same boat together. Neither individuals nor religious institutions seem to have any access to feedback from God.

What does this mean? What it means to me is that I cannot be so dogmatic about anything spiritual or religious. No one agrees on who the real God is or what will make him happy with you because - wait for it - nobody knows! Those who pretend they do and tell you so are just conning you.

I think many people don’t want to be honest about the true level of uncertainty we all face, so they just pretend the world is more certain than it is. As the Jewish spring holy days approach, both Jews and Armstrongites will hypocritically obsess over minutia of their living spaces in vain. Until we can get that "reality check," shouldn’t a good person just focus on what he doesn’t need to verify? Things such as the golden rule and helping the needy? Spending weeks looking for read crumbs? Seriously? Get real.


Feast of Tabernacles: A More Dangerous Time to Drive

Prophet Thiel has up his yearly rant about the evil St Patrick's Day and the vileness it brings to the world.
St. Patrick’s Day: A More Dangerous Time to Drive

Despite what the Bible teaches, the Protestant publication “Christianity Today” seems to think it is acceptable to celebrate as one article at its website states:
Patrick the Saint
Behind the fanciful legends of the fifth-century British missionary stands a man worthy of embellishment (Cagney, Mary. Patrick the Saint).
Each year millions of people observe St. Patrick’s Day, but those in the real Churches of God (COGs), like the Living Church of God, do not.  We observe the Holy Days that God enjoined in the Bible and urge others to do so as well.

Yes, LCG observes the Feast of Tabernacles.  A time well know in the Churches of God as a time of excess in food and alcohol consumption.  It also has been a time for sexual escapades, bar brawls and other lasciviousness.

Is not “St. Patrick’s Day” a time from revelry, drinking parties, and drunkenness?  Is not that something that the Apostle Peter said real Christians would no longer participate in?

Feast site locals who had restaurants, bars and stores doubled and tripled their alcohol supplies when COGers were coming to town.  Alcohol sales went out the roof for these people.  When you come from a church that forbids all earthly pleasures except for alcohol and food what is there left to take advantage of that to use these to the excess?

I would worry more about being hit by a COG member at a Feast site than I would on St Patrick's Day.  My family was in a car accident in the Pocono's one year because of a COG driver who had been drinking.

Apostle Malm on Apostate Jews

The apostle Malm is delivering his latest screed on the Passover and how apostate Jews perverted the correct day it was to be kept and other anti-Jewish comments.

It was only later that apostate Jews began to move Passover to be actually ON the 15th day in direct opposition to scripture.

It's all the fault of those damned Hellenized Greek Jews:

Later after the destruction of Jerusalem and the Temple; the Mosaic Pharisees were destroyed and the Hellenized  Jews sought to place the sacrifice at the start of the 15th, blending Passover with the Feast of Unleavened Bread; to discredit the preaching of the Messiah-ship of Jesus Christ by the scattered saints.
 Now it's the fault of modern Jews who are all kabballists.

Modern Judaism is apostate from Moses and is Kaballah or Babylonian Mysteries.  That is why it is so wrong to rely on them for the calendar or any religious teachings.  Their very purpose is to discredit the messiah-ship and high Priesthood of Jesus Christ as the ONLY Mediator between men and God, juts like Catholicism and Islam.   We are to rely on the scriptures alone and not on Jewish Commentaries.

This is clearly and indelibly stamped on modern Judaism for those who can see.  The biblical symbol of Judah is the LION;  the so called six pointed “Jewish Star” is the symbol of the occult Kaballah; the Mystery Religion.  It has nothing to do with David and that explanation is to hide the truth from the “Christian” world.  I shall do a post on this sometime in the future.

Now it's the fault of unconverted Jewish minds.  Only truly converted people can by Church of God members.

It is those people who study and rely on the traditions of the Jews and the commentaries of Modern Judaism, who fall into confusion on this matter.  We are NOT to trust in unconverted minds which cannot discern and seek to deliberately pervert the things of God; for our Doctrine.

 We are NOT to trust those who have rejected Christ and who have deliberately changed Pentecost; deliberately changed the Calendar; and deliberately changed the Passover; for our doctrine!

Pagan Jews used honey in their occult worship so you are not supposed to used honey in Passover food today:

[Honey gets into symbolism as the bee is the symbol of occult satanic wisdom].  It is perfectly alright to eat honey, just not as part of any spiritual symbolism of Christ.

Who and what is there left on earth that Apostle Malm does not hate or despise?

UCG's New Vision Statement

United Church of God has published it's new vision statement. Is it just me or is this one of the most absurd things I have read from a COG in a while.  Does it actually mean ANYTHING?

The only thing I see is a blatant request from all members to continue to give as much money as possible because it is their responsibility to do their share in getting this love blast out to all the world so that many can  join the true church instead of all.  I always though it was the hope of the church that the entire world be reconciled back to God and not just a few select ones.

A church led by God’s Holy Spirit joined and knit together by what every member supplies, with all doing their share and growing in love to fulfill God’s great purpose for humanity to bring many children to glory.  (Ephesians 4:16; Hebrews 2:10.).

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Dervaes: Urban Hippy Armstrongite Cultists In News Again

Armstrongism's much mocked urban hippy family is in the news again.  National Geographic is premiering a new 10 part series starting this week about " Doomsday Preppers" and our very own urban preppers, the Dervaes family is included. 

Armstrognism has always had a fringe element that secretly prepared for the end times.  They stored food, bought guns, and some even moved to remote locations in order to be away from civilization as much as possible.  It was conspiracy theories of Gary North in the late 70's, it was The Protocols of Zion, it was Visions of Fatima, the Illuminati, and the myriad of failed prophecies by Herbert Armstrong, Gerald Waterhouse and Rod Meredith that scared the crap out of members.

The Dervaes family has been in the news a lot over the years.  It's like they prostitute themselves out for the next news reporter or interview.  What most of these reporters don't realize is that these people are not just mere urban homesteaders, they are the result of aberrant religious teaching of an American doomsday cult.

Herbert Armstrong, Gerald Waterhouse, Dean Blackwell, and others spent seven decades of delivering earth shattering scenarios on how the world was coming to an end, because God was going to punish the United States and the British Commonwealth nations.

Literal reading of Bible scriptures has distorted these people with all kinds of doom and gloom scenarios.  The Dervaes family did not set out to be urban homesteaders that would be plastered all over the Internet and news media.  They set out over 25 years ago to prepare to lower their standard of living and to separate themselves from the world.  When the end comes (or a major natural disaster) and the cities are in chaos, power is down, grocery stores are depleted, money is worthless, then these people will be taking care of themselves and those they have chosen to part of their inner circle.  For the Dervaes it will be those that subscribe to the tenants of pre-1986 Armstrongism.

The other thing that the Dervaes hope from all this media prostitution, is that they will have a chance to get the "true gospel" message out at sometime in the future.  After the Dervaes started becoming 'famous'  Jules took down his Armstrongism pages and moved them elsewhere.  While people looked at them as sustainability  nutcases, they did not want the added baggage of being accused of being religious nutcases too.  All of that will change when bad things start to happen and Jules finds a platform to preach again.

Lord spare us!

The problem is, an aberrant dingbat religion is 100% behind their activities.

Check out Silenced for more on the story:  COG Nuts on Doomsday Preppers

Urban Hippy Armstrongites Still Causing Controversy

"Dingbat Dervaes" Urban Homesteaders Continue to be Mocked By Pasadenans

Extreme Armstrongism: "Urban Homesteaders' Threaten To Sue

Wikipedia also keeps alive the religions connection of the Dervaes. Jules Dervaes

ht: Jace

Dennis On: "Mining the Scriptures For Jesus: A Simple Example With Huge Implications for Literalists"

Mining the Scriptures For Jesus

A Simple Example With Huge Implications for Literalists

Dennis Diehl - EzineArticles Expert Author

I have pointed out many times in the past that the Gospels are hardly harmonious.  They are neither four different views of the same events nor coherent in their presentation.  Simply put, they are contrived accounts copied by others, embellished a bit along the way and even cleaned up of embarrassing accounts that detracted from the ever evolving story of Jesus.

It is not inspiration for Matthew to copy 90+% of Mark and Luke well over 50%.  That's just copying.

A short reminder here that the Four Gospels were written AFTER the Apostle Paul had lived, written his views of Jesus and died.  For Paul, Jesus was just a Jew, born of a woman.  (Romans 1:3)  There was no glorious birth story around yet for Paul to draw on or care about.  The Jesus of Paul was hallucinatory. He never met nor does he quote any living Jesus and for Paul, Jesus was more the Cosmic Christ in his head than any living human being.  But Paul wrote first, so the first Jesus was not of this earth and did not really live a life worth telling about on earth. 

THEN come the Gospels AFTER Paul.  So to have a better view of how it really was, it would at least have been nice to realize that Paul wrote first, then the Gospels and finally Revelation.  The current order of things gives the opposite impression of reality in the first century.  To Paul, Jesus was Cosmic and in the heavens and then was made human by the Gospels.  But with Matthew, Mark, Luke and John first, it gives the impression of first an earthly Jeusus and THEN the Theological and Cosmic Christ of Paul.  Wrong, Wrong. 

At any rate, I'd like to show by a major blunder made by the writer of Matthew, that to reach back into the Old Testament and mine the scriptures, parts of them, phrases or whatever it took, was how the story of Jesus was cobbled together. These men had no clue about Jesus real birth, so they simply made it up and in doing so didn't even read each other's stories to "all speak the same thing."  

First, be reminded that in Matthew, he tells the story of Jesus with his mining the OT for helpful stories that I call the , "And thus it was fulfilled,"s.  Every time Matthew tells us a detail which we take as fact about Jesus birth, he gets it from the Old Testament.  This is WHY the story of Jesus birth SEEMS so prophetic.  The truth is the story was written to fit the Old Testament scriptures (and badly so I will show), and not prophetic at all.

Here are three classic examples from Matthew.

"1. The virgin birth (Isaiah 7:14)

This verse is part of a prophecy that Isaiah relates to King Ahaz regarding the fate of the two kings threatening Judah at that time and the fate of Judah itself. In the original Hebrew, the verse says that a "young woman" will give birth, not a "virgin" which is an entirely different Hebrew word. The young woman became a virgin only when the Hebrew word was mistranslated into Greek.
This passage obviously has nothing to do with Jesus (who, if this prophecy did apply to him, should have been named Immanuel instead of Jesus).

(I might also add that Immanuel means "God IS with us" as in will be on our side against the Assyrians, so don't fret, and NOT "God with us" as if Jesus was God with us in the flesh--Dennis)

2. The "slaughter of the innocents" (Jeremiah 31:15)


Matthew says that Herod, in an attempt to kill the newborn Messiah, had all the male children two years old and under put to death in Bethlehem and its environs, and that this was in fulfillment of prophecy.

This is a pure invention on Matthew's part. Herod was guilty of many monstrous crimes, including the murder of several members of his own family. However, ancient historians such as Josephus, who delighted in listing Herod's crimes, do not mention what would have been Herod's greatest crime by far. It simply didn't happen.
The context of Jeremiah 31:15 makes it clear that the weeping is for the Israelites about to be taken into exile in Babylon, and has nothing to do with slaughtered children hundreds of years later.

3. Called out of Egypt (Hosea 11:1)

Matthew has Mary, Joseph and Jesus fleeing to Egypt to escape Herod, and says that the return of Jesus from Egypt was in fulfillment of prophecy (Matthew 2:15). However, Matthew quotes only the second half of Hosea 11:1. The first half of the verse makes it very clear that the verse refers to God calling the Israelites out of Egypt in the exodus led by Moses, and has nothing to do with Jesus.

As further proof that the slaughter of the innocents and the flight into Egypt never happened, one need only compare the Matthew and Luke accounts of what happened between the time of Jesus' birth and the family's arrival in Nazareth. According to Luke, forty days (the purification period) after Jesus was born, his parents brought him to the temple, made the prescribed sacrifice, and returned to Nazareth. Into this same time period Matthew somehow manages to squeeze: the visit of the Magi to Herod, the slaughter of the innocents and the flight into Egypt, the sojourn in Egypt, and the return from Egypt. All of this action must occur in the forty day period because Matthew has the Magi visit Jesus in Bethlehem before the slaughter of the innocents."
(New Testament Contradictions: Paul Carlson)

This is commonly understood misuse and misapplication by Matthew. It is a writing style called Midrash where you reach into the past to find scripture to tell the story of the present, but it is not meant to be taken literally. 

But now comes the proof that Matthew was doing just that and was mining the Old Testament for stories to tell about Jesus, when in fact he knew precious little about him in the flesh.

"Since the prophecies mentioned above do not, in their original context, refer to Jesus, why did Matthew include them in his gospel? There are two possibilities:

1. The church says that the words had a hidden future context as well as the original context, ie, God was keeping very important secrets from His chosen people.

2. Matthew, in his zeal to prove that Jesus was the Messiah, searched the Old Testament for passages (sometimes just phrases) that could be construed as messianic prophecies and then created or modified events in Jesus' life to fulfill those "prophecies."

Fortunately for those who really want to know the truth, Matthew made a colossal blunder later in his gospel which leaves no doubt at all as to which of the above possibilities is true.
His blunder involves what is known as Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem riding on a donkey (if you believe Mark, Luke or John) or riding on two donkeys (if you believe Matthew). In Matthew 21:1-7, two animals are mentioned in three of the verses, so this cannot be explained away as a copying error. And Matthew has Jesus riding on both animals at the same time, for verse 7 literally says, "on them he sat."

Why does Matthew have Jesus riding on two donkeys at the same time? Because he MISREAD (emphasis mine)  Zechariah 9:9 which reads in part, "mounted on a donkey, and on a colt, the foal of a donkey."
Anyone familiar with Old Testament Hebrew would know that the word translated "and" in this passage does not indicate another animal but is used in the sense of "even" (which is used in many translations) for emphasis. The Old Testament often uses parallel phrases which refer to the same thing for emphasis, but Matthew was evidently not familiar with this usage. Although the result is rather humorous, it is also very revealing. It demonstrates conclusively that MATTHEW CREATED EVENTS (emphasis mine) in Jesus' life to fulfill Old Testament prophecies, even if it meant creating an absurd event. Matthew's gospel is full of fulfilled prophecies. Working the way Matthew did, and believing as the church does in "future contexts," any phrase in the Bible could be turned into a fulfilled prophecy!"

(New Testament Contradictions, Paul Carlson)

I just thought it would be fun and enlightening to share this.  
Why is it important? 

 Because the leading Guru's of the COG's do the same thing and reach into the Old Testament, even seeing themselves in it, and make it mean Sabbath after Sabbath what it does not mean and cannot mean but will make shipwreck of their followers faith and lives in a very short time. 

Making the Bible mean what it never meant is a very old way of telling a story. But it is nonetheless a story.

Maybe we should let it go as "An earthly story with a heavenly meaning," before many more sincere folk get burned.

Throw Out That Morton Salt! It's Satan's Tool To Make You Sin in Days of Unleavened Bread

Are you ready to throw out your Morton salt for the Days of Unleavened Bread?  One of Apostle Malm's acolytes says that you need to.  It seems Moton's has added baking soda in with the salt.  I checked my box and a Safeway brand and they both have baking soda added.  Obviously this qualifies as a leavening agent to these misguided folk.

If you use salt in your water softener, you had better check it for baking soda and get ready to throw it out.  If you need salt to throw on the ice on your front sidewalk, be prepared to throw it out too.

This reminds me of the stupid minister that demanded that the College throw out the baking soda used in the gym pool to keep alkalinity down. They refused and the minister went into melt down as everyone stood around and laughed at him.

Beware of Brewers Yeast too.  It's another dirty filthy leavening agent used by Satan to make your DUB's less righteous.  I suppose we need to start dumping beer now too?  When will these fools ever stop?

A Malmite writes:

I just want to say, and no one ever believes me, that brewer’s yeast is leavening. Supposedly it is dead, but I did an experiment one year with some brewer’s yeast that came in a wine-making kit, it did a great job of leavening my experiemental loaf of bread.

Also, one warning about salt. I had to throw out one of those blue round boxes of salt because they had put sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) as an anti-caking agent. I only discovered this after the Days of Unleavened Bread last year, much to my chagrin. I threw it out anyway, as I feel it is still a symbol of sin even if I missed it when I was supposed to find it. If I find any hidden leavening or leavened product after DUB that I missed, I throw it out to show that I am sorry that I wasn’t careful enough and missed it.

Baking soda is used as an anti-caking agent not as a leavening agent.  Just further proof that legalism destroys brain function in these people.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Which Church Has The Most False Prophets? Harold Camping or the Churches of God?

Prophet Thiel has an interesting post up today dissing Harold Camping and his failed prophecies.  Prophet Thiel makes lots of comments about failed prophecies and failed prophets but for some reason conveniently ignores the hundreds of failed prophecies of Herbert Armstrong, Rod Meredith and the Churches of God.

According to him Camping (not a REAL Christian like LCG members are) is a fake Christian, a liar, and a false prophet.

The Prophet says:

Harold Camping’s pronouncements were sinful.  And while he and his group want to claim that they did good by making false prophecies, the is not something that the God of the Bible would advocate.

OK, that is something that we can both agree on. However, The Prophet fails to say that Rod Meredith's pronouncements are also sinful.  He fails to mention that Rod Meredith and his group claim they are doing good in spite of the failed prophecies of the past.  They claim to be doing good in spite of Herbert Armstrongs sinful lies too.  Neither of which Thiel's God of the Bible would approve of.

Prophet Thiel continues with this:

I do not consider that Harold Camping was or is a real Christian and he has repeatedly proven to be a false prophet.

The fact is that there are many false prophets who claim to be Christian cause the Bible to be blasphemed.  One who claims to be in the Church of God (Ronald Weinland) insists that the period of the Great Tribulation began years ago (as did Harold Camping), and that Jesus will return on May 27, 2012.  Ron Weinland, of course, will be proven wrong.
The same can be said about Rod Meredith, Herbert Armstrong, Gerald Waterhouse, Dean Blackwell, John Rittenbaugh and all the others that have spouted failed prophecies over the decades.  They have all been proven liars.  According to Thiel false prophets are not Christians, does that apply to failed prophet Rod Meredith too?

A quick look at Armstrongism sees hundreds of false prophets all claiming to be Christians, yet because of their lies blaspheme the Bible.  We do however agree that Weinerdude Weinland is a false prophet whom many attorneys in various COG's feel will be imprisoned because of his tax evasion.

The Prophet goes on to write my favorite comment:

People like Harold Camping and Ron Weinland give scoffers ammunition to argue against Bible prophecy–as will any who insist that the Mayan 12/21/2012 date can be the end of the world.  All of them will be shown to be wrong.

People like Herbert Armstrong, Rod Meredith, Gerald Flurry, Ron Wienland, Dave Cox and Fred Coulter all give scoffers ammunition to argue against Bible prophecy.  They have all been proven to be wrong as of this very hour.

Prophet Thiel would due well to heed the scriptures that he quotes to establish his stance on false prophets:

Notice a couple of warnings about false prophets:
22 when a prophet speaks in the name of the LORD, if the thing does not happen or come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously; you shall not be afraid of him. (Deuteronomy 18:22).

1 But there were also false prophets among the people, even as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Lord who bought them, and bring on themselves swift destruction. 2 And many will follow their destructive ways, because of whom the way of truth will be blasphemed. 3 By covetousness they will exploit you with deceptive words; for a long time their judgment has not been idle, and their destruction does not slumber. (2 Peter 2:1-3).

Apostle Malm: Gluten Intolerant? Eat a Piece of Matzo Anyway As "...a Matter of Repentance"

The king of dumbass apostles has this word of advice to those who are gluten intolerant:

One of his acolytes writes:
I have been reading your blogs for a while now, but this is my first comment to you. I understand your meaning in using the most wholesome flour possible for making the unleavened bread. However you need to know that not all people can use wheat of any kind because of medical conditions. What if that bread were to kill someone? Please do not post my comment. I only want you to consider this possibility.

The Apostle responds
I have changed your name to anonymous and approved this as it may affect various persons and is a good comment. First if you have wheat issues consult a physician and see if this is only a gluten issue or something else. You can easily and cheaply make gluten free flour with a home mill by using the special gluten free grains on the market. You can also buy pre ground gluten free flours at most groceries and health stores. Using this and making your own ULB instead of using unfit commercial matzoth will in many cases actually solve this gluten problem.
Affected people should do serious research on this topic with professional medical input.
I will also say that gluten allergies are NOT usually life threatening at all, they tend to cause stomach distress, cramps and pain. If your physican says that this is the case, perhaps taking a tiny piece for Passover is more a matter of repentnce and proper Passover preparation and a zeal for God and his commandments married to faith. As for me, I would be glad to endure a little discomfort to obey my God; after all only a very tiny piece is taken. If the issue is truly life threatening make the effort to find out what you can take, as most such people would already know what they can take or must avoid. James

How stupid can this little man get?  The people I know that cannot tolerate gluten CAN die from it.  What an f-ing moron Malm is.

Apostle Malm: Are You Eating Filthy White Flour Matzos Blessed By Pagans?

How dare you toddle off tot he store and buy a box of matzo's off the shelf!  These disgusting things are made with WHITE flour!  We all know how BAAAAAAAAAAAAD white flour is after growing up in Armstrongism.  Eating off the shelf matzos is like eating old Wonder Bread.

Also, when you buy off the shelf matzo's they have been blessed by a pagan priest!  At least that is according to God's most perfect law keeping Apostle that has ever walked the earth in 4,000 years.  I see a lot of latent hatred boiling around in Apostle Malm against the Jews.  Has Apostle Malm finally revealed his true colors as a nasty anti-Semite bigot?

This lazy getting a box of Biblically (sic) unfit material blessed by a pagan priest [Kosher means, blessed by a Rabbi of apostate Christ cursing Judaism] IS NOT SUITABLE and is a blot and offense and these symbols of Chirst (sic).

Not only does Apostle Malm hate store bought matzo's he also hates store bought wine.  You should be making your own wine at home.

The wine representing blood should be red, of a good quality and with as few added chemicals as possible.  In my own opinion most wines available today are chemically treated and unfit.  Be careful in your choice, or a well made, home made wine; is most suitable for Passover.
For generations the COGs have uses a milled white flour cracker [blessed by a pagan Christ cursing Rabbi] to symbolize the body of Jesus Christ at Passover and throughout the Feast of Unleavends.

These Matzoth are made with nutrient removed milled flour that many of us would not think of giving to our families as white bread because of its valueless and even toxic nature;  also being without salt or oil and then blessed by a Christ rejecting Rabbi.
 Apostle Malm has laid down these strict rules for his bastardized 'passover" service.
All Unleavened Bread for religious purposes should be made from stone ground whole wheat flour, or the best whole wheat flour available, organic preferred.

All bread made for any “Meat” offering is to be made without leaven which is a type of the pride that comes through sin, and the deciding for ourselves as to what is right and wrong.

All unleavened bread for religious purposes is to be made with the oil, symbolic of the Holy Spirit of God which filled our Lord.

All Unleavened Bread for religious purposes is to be seasoned with salt, Lev 2:13.

While Apostle Malm is busy telling you rebellious heretics what kind of matzo's to use, he also has laid down some rules for leavening agents:

The term LEAVEN, refers to any YEAST. It also refers to artificial yeast substitutes such as BAKING POWDER, which were invented to replace yeasts.  Baking Soda is NOT a leavening agent, UNTIL it is mixed with moisture and an acid.  Therefore, soda in toothpaste or some other product, not containing acid and not intended for cooking, is NOT leaven.

While eggs are not a leavening agent in themselves; to beat them purposely to deliberately incorporate air so they act as a leavening agent; puffing up the product being cooked, is definitely wrong.

To be faithful in little, is to be faithful in much. One cannot use an inappropriate symbol to represent something Holy! Give it some thought!
 I guess this all means that I can no longer buy chocolate covered matzo's  Damn!

Not Your Mother's Plain Truth