Saturday, March 10, 2012

Vidal Has Another Orgasmic Restored Church of God Slobber Fest



Brother Vidal is back over at Dave Pack's ass kissing site for rebellious back stabbing ministers from United Church of God.  Vidal still wants to remind you on what an IMPORTANT man he is.  He is an attorney. ATTORNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  In case you missed it each time he writes.  An attorney from Nigeria were all the scam artists are from and attorneys pass bribes under the table to get things done.  Nigeria, where ethics and human rights are not major concerns.  Yes, Dave should be very proud to have an Nigerian attorney in his midst, not that Vidal has any of these bad characteristics mind you, it adds more legitimacy to his organization.  But you have to wonder: ethics - Armstrongism - Nigeria - three things that do NOT have good track records.

Greetings, brethren! My name is Vidal N. Wachuku, pastor of congregations in Miami, Florida and the Caribbean. You may recall from my earlier posts that I am a fulltime minister in The Restored Church of God, having been previously employed as an attorney in Nigeria.

Vidal wants you to know that Dave Packs cult headquarters is unparalleled in the universe for it's hospitality, majesty, and warmth.  No other Church of God on the face of the earth has ever been as warm and converted as the folks at RCG.  Of course this is a direct slam at UCG where Vidal and the rest of his slobbering buddies defected from.  UCG apparently was a hostile environment filled with bitter people, ugly buildings and sub quality literature and materials.

But another thing also stood out: We could scarcely believe that the whole world was being reached from this relatively small complex! We had expected to see a massive complex with a huge staff swarming all over the place—but instead we saw a smaller group, totally dedicated to the Work (this was over three years ago—the staff is now much bigger). The atmosphere was charged with the infectious joy produced by God’s Spirit. We could then understand why the magazines and books we had been receiving were of such high quality!
Vidal hasn't even got to the greatest man on earth today, Dave Pack.  I can only imagine what he will say when he walks into the awesome presence of the most perfect, righteous, and tallest Apostle to ever walk the earth.  Oh wait!  Here it comes:

Meeting Mr. David Pack was another defining moment. The man simply defied all we had heard and read about him. We were momentarily taken aback.

His magnificence radiates from his most awesome presence.  You would think Vidal was describing Jesus, but no, he is describing Dave. A mortal, flesh and blood, sinful, and most degenerate man.

Then Brother Vidal takes another direct slam at the UCG brethren he stabbed in the back.  Now he takes the knife and twists it as he shoves it in:

In the following days, we noticed something that is hardly found anywhere else. All staff members, ministry and lay members alike, were willing to help and assist in every possible way. You could see and feel the cooperation and dedication to duty without the competitiveness that pervades the world. Everyone worked as though there were no tomorrow. There was order, precision, courtesy and consideration for one another. Above all, God’s quality was reflected in everything! The picture we saw was that of one big, happy family!

Once again we are told that UCG Headquarters employees are  lazy slackards who could not give a rat's ass about spreading the gospel.  Disorder, chaos, rudeness, are the trademarks of the UCG employees.  UCG is obviously one incredibly small, sniveling and  miserable broken family.

Brother Vidal then goes on to describe how he and his wife felt a little disconcerted by the Stepford Wife atmosphere.  Was it real or just a show.?  Then Vidal talks about how they were invited back a second time (while still on UCG's payroll) and they saw the awesomeness all over again.

As with our first visit, we proved—again, to our shame!—that what we saw was not a fluke or a show, but the reality of how God’s Headquarters operated. The orderliness, precision, love, care, concern, friendliness and emphasis on quality were pervasive. Brethren were helpful, always on hand to transport us to and from the office and to wherever we wanted to go. We never—not even once—noticed any feelings of disenchantment. I mean, what more could anyone ask?

I guess UCG must sure be a hell hole to work at.  RCG is just the most awesome place on the face of the entire earth.  Rainbows, lollipops and cotton candy float through the air in this sweeter than life world.

Vidal wants you to know that the headquarters of Dave Pack is a continuation of Herbert Armstrong's standards of quality and excess.  Only the best will do, at the poor members expense though.  As a minister, Vidal could care less about the poor folk that pay his salary and free plane trips for him and his entire family back and forth to Africa till he signed on the dotted line with Dave.  Now he is in the States where he can freely jump on a short flight to bask in the awesomeness of God's most perfect man and COG Headquarters.


Brethren, we serve a God of quality, and the only place where He is working today reflects this in a host of ways. As mentioned earlier, by merely stepping into RCG Headquarters, you begin to see evidence of this. You have a feeling of being transported to another time and place. The absence of chaos and disorder is electrifying. The sharp professional appearance of employees is captivating. Work ethics are of the highest standards. Staff members beam with smiles at every opportunity. The inner peace and joy that comes with knowing whom you are serving radiates from every face. You do not see the sloppiness common in many of today’s work environments.
Then once again he slams UCG and the other splinter groups as he goes on to describe the substandard literature churned out by these splinter groups:

The Church’s publications, though given away absolutely free of charge, are of the highest standard, particularly when compared to what the various splinter groups publish. Looking at their literature and materials, you should want to know why your leaders churn out substandard publications despite the millions of tithe dollars they appropriate!

 Then he writes what the PR Department at RCG has been trying to promote about the church.  Dave has the LARGEST Bible based set of materials and web sites that the world has ever seen. We bow at your greatness. We are in awe of your magnificence, we tremble at your presence.  We laugh our asses off........

Our websites rcg.org, realtruth.org, and worldtocome.org not only contain the largest arsenal of Bible-based materials the world has ever seen, but also reflect the God of quality whom we serve. I urge you to take a serious look at them!

Then Vidal goes on to end with a final slobbering suck fest that is appallingly sickening.

Contrary to what we see from the largest splinter’s “Bible Center” and from others, RCG’s Ambassador Center and its products represent excellence, dedication and dignity. The comportment and demeanor of AC students are unrivalled, and the instructors are tested men who live by what they teach. Even though I have had the privilege of passing through University, Law School, Leadership and Entrepreneurship training institutions, none of them prepared me for the unique AC experience. This is one place that strives for the highest standards of professionalism, etiquette and decorum. It prepares you not just to earn a living, but to live life to the fullest the way God intended.

Where is the barf bag that we all need after this saccharine induced slobber fest.  Read it all here, if you dare and if you have a barf bag ready.  The Epitome of Quality




14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading this.

Thank you for the morning laugh.

Anonymous said...

"We could scarcely believe that the whole world was being reached from this relatively small complex!"

This boy is in for some reeducation training. Using the phrase "small complex" with DCP is awesomely unacceptable as he will soon learn.

I believe "Exaggeration-God's Way of Life" will be his first DCP seminar for ministers.

Mr V is probably down the road setting himself up for some disillusionment.

IMHO meeting DCP for the first time is akin to Luke Skywalker meeting Darth Vader.

M.T.Cubicles

Assistant Deacon said...

"Rainbows, lollipops and cotton candy float through the air in this sweeter than life world."

The Mary Poppins Church of God. Practically perfect in every way.

Vidal is suffering from Theil Syndrome, in which one operates under the severe delusion that he speaks for God.

"I am sure others who have been privileged to visit God’s Headquarters..."

"...the reality of how God’s Headquarters operated..."

Good thing they cleared that up. No telling where God resided before RCG came along.

Anonymous said...

If God weren't all knowing, He probably wouldn't even be able to find the RCG Hindquarters.

Anonymous said...

LOL, Douglas Becker!

Anonymous said...

I felt inspired.

Anonymous said...

V's report would be wonderful if it were true. Alas, there are some problems.

In all the USA, DCP could not find a homegrown white boy to praise him. DCP had to hire a Nigerian lawyer who was familiar with mud huts and would be impressed by any modern buildings. (A sense of honesty compels me to say that only 99.99% of lawyers are bad, but these ones give all the rest a bad name.)

Is anyone aware of any good thing ever coming out of Nigeria? It is home of the infamous and outrageous Nigerian Letter Scam, and a place where those who go to try to recover their stolen money get murdered. Be aware of the parallels with the RCG.

Vacationing in Florida, a Nigerian lawyer of all people would know what he needs to do to keep the good times rolling for himself.

You do not have to listen to people who formerly trusted DCP and had a falling out with him. You can listen to DCP's own selfish, greedy raging in such things as his Clarion Call sermon.

Painful Truth said...

If you never had a letter from Nigeria your missing the fun boat!

I have had some rather lengthy exchanges with spammers. Try this page for more.
http://hwarmstrong.com/junk-mail.htm

The one "joseph from kenya" was the most entertaining exchange.

Enjoy!

Byker Bob said...

The most eloquent statement which could possibly describe Pack's status is that were it not for the Banned By HWA blog, (and some other WCG cult recovery sites) I wouldn't really know anything about RCG. Now, back in the day, you'd hear people in supermarkets and on the street mentioning GTA.
None of these splinter cults has any "street buzz". Street buzz would be indicative of their gospel actually being visible, or heard. For all the claims of "biggest", we see no noticeable inpact. I know some Christians on Facebook whose personal evangelism is reaching more people, daily.

RCG needs a good stiff shot of vitamin B, or steroids.

BB

Anonymous said...

Howz come "God" can never seem to fix anything without chaos, division and heartache? Just an occasional personal appearance to the head Guru with members witnessing such a visit would work nicely.

The Apostle Paul said he went to the third heaven but was not able to report much and seems to have heard voices in his head. These experiences don't count as they are too prone to using abusively.

Anyone can make a theophany not witnessed and misuse it.

M.T.Visions

Anonymous said...

Dave Pack's skills with the Internet may not be as great as he thinks they are. It looks like he must have hired the Wachukus without even doing a Google search regarding their past affiliations. I'll leave it to you to discover the relevant web pages for yourself, but Christine and Vidal Wachuku appear as recently as 2010 to have been "winning souls for Jesus" (their words) through a Protestant ministry in Africa. Unless there are multiple Prince Vidal Wachukus in Nigeria with wives named Christine.

Anonymous said...

It seems whoever wrote these article either can't read properly and digest what has been read or is just plain stupid. I read the man's article and he never said he was a member of UCG, he said he attended Narrow Way Church of God but had some sort of agreement with UCG. It's really disgusting to misquote people's words and twist them out of proportion. Another thing is you all must be racists or something. Why condemn Nigeria? Scammers are found in every single country just that some first world countries have got a grasp on handling the situation. However, for third world countries like Nigeria, it's a different ball game altogether. It's really bad to condemn another person without speaking to them one on one. You are all just like the papparazzi who go about forming stories that never existed at first about celebrities. You are no better than this man you are degrading in such manner. RCG has even gained more popularity thanks to your stupid comments and who knows, someone might even join them out of the interest you've sparked from what might be lies and you even help them advertise by putting links too; I so laugh. You all just make a fool of yourselfs by posting trash and I think the fact that RCG has not confirmed or denied any of these allegations eats you up causing you to post more trash; remove the log in your eyes before removing the small peck in the eyes of others. Rubbish!

Anonymous said...

3I met some old friends from WCG. The same friends who had abandoned me when I was marked and tossed out of the "church" for using my brain and questioning a few things. I hadn't seen them for over 20 years.I didn't recognize them. One of them asked if it were me, after responding they pumped me for personal information, said that they had gone to the RCG. Since they were so friendly I thought they might want to be friends again, so I asked for their phone number. We talked a few times and after dealing with their double talk and put downs, I had had enough of them. I looked up RCG and found your site and I'm lovin it!
Red

Anonymous said...

I am not certain what you are trying to say. Are you angry at WCG and trying to belittle them by attacking the former minister of the Armstrong group? I was a 7th day Aventist at one time, and God knows I have a few unsettling stories. After leaving the SDA, I was bitter and hateful toward the church. Realizing that being so angry did not help me or lift me up, I moved on, forgiving and putting the past where is should be - in the past. Churches are run by humans, at best a very tenuous partnership with God. Be thankful and praise God that the Holy Spirit has delivered you.