Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Apostle Malm: Gluten Intolerant? Eat a Piece of Matzo Anyway As "...a Matter of Repentance"

The king of dumbass apostles has this word of advice to those who are gluten intolerant:

One of his acolytes writes:
I have been reading your blogs for a while now, but this is my first comment to you. I understand your meaning in using the most wholesome flour possible for making the unleavened bread. However you need to know that not all people can use wheat of any kind because of medical conditions. What if that bread were to kill someone? Please do not post my comment. I only want you to consider this possibility.

The Apostle responds
I have changed your name to anonymous and approved this as it may affect various persons and is a good comment. First if you have wheat issues consult a physician and see if this is only a gluten issue or something else. You can easily and cheaply make gluten free flour with a home mill by using the special gluten free grains on the market. You can also buy pre ground gluten free flours at most groceries and health stores. Using this and making your own ULB instead of using unfit commercial matzoth will in many cases actually solve this gluten problem.
Affected people should do serious research on this topic with professional medical input.
I will also say that gluten allergies are NOT usually life threatening at all, they tend to cause stomach distress, cramps and pain. If your physican says that this is the case, perhaps taking a tiny piece for Passover is more a matter of repentnce and proper Passover preparation and a zeal for God and his commandments married to faith. As for me, I would be glad to endure a little discomfort to obey my God; after all only a very tiny piece is taken. If the issue is truly life threatening make the effort to find out what you can take, as most such people would already know what they can take or must avoid. James

How stupid can this little man get?  The people I know that cannot tolerate gluten CAN die from it.  What an f-ing moron Malm is.


Anonymous said...

Lol, the title of this blog entry was one of your funniest-

"Apostle Malm: Gluten Intolerant? Eat a Piece of Matzo Anyway As "...a Matter of Repentance""

May I suggest a couple of future headings?

"Apostle Malm: Gay? Have sex with me anyway because I needs me some."

"Apostle Malm: Broke? Send me some money anyway because I needs me a new laptop to better tell you how wrong you are."

"Apostle Malm: Are you an idiot?
Then join my exclusive club!"


Anonymous said...

And if obeying my god requires enduring a little discomfort, enduring a lot of discomfort is much more obedient. Self-flagellation, thy name is religion.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps we could start the Celiac Church of God?

Byker Bob said...

Attaboy, James Malm. Always make whatever you recommend as complicated and legalistic as possible. Find that paganism, and root it out! Make everyone else appear to be as ignorant and sinful as possible!

Sincerity? Love? These are inconsequential for the truly elect Christian. Why, by failing to be 100% observant, you could lose your eternal salvation in microseconds!

(I speak as a fool, for satirical purposes!) Seriously, doesn't this dude understand that Jesus died for all past, present, and future sins of mankind? Imagine that!


Mish-Mash said...

What a psycho.

There are plenty of fine gluten free flours that you can make unleavened bread out of. It doesn't necessarily have to be wheat. In the old testament bible times, they probably didn't have wheat like we do today. They would have used barley.

Next thing he will come up with will be not wearing clothes of mixed fabrics.

Steve said...

I bet Malm loves having the notoriety he has at this site. I'm sure it makes him feel important and known. I'm sure he thinks he's doing what gawd wants him to do while he gloats in the persecution.

Anonymous said...

Isn't there a proverb that says it would better to cut your throat than to be overtaken by gluteney?


Ruthann said...

Just make your matzo out of barley rather than Wheat. No gluten problems.
Great with tons of butter. Yum

NO2HWA said...

Ruthann: The barley matzos sound interesting. I still like the egg and onion or the four flavored ones the best and buy them every once in a while to have with wine and cheese.