Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Apostle Malm: Are You Eating Filthy White Flour Matzos Blessed By Pagans?

How dare you toddle off tot he store and buy a box of matzo's off the shelf!  These disgusting things are made with WHITE flour!  We all know how BAAAAAAAAAAAAD white flour is after growing up in Armstrongism.  Eating off the shelf matzos is like eating old Wonder Bread.

Also, when you buy off the shelf matzo's they have been blessed by a pagan priest!  At least that is according to God's most perfect law keeping Apostle that has ever walked the earth in 4,000 years.  I see a lot of latent hatred boiling around in Apostle Malm against the Jews.  Has Apostle Malm finally revealed his true colors as a nasty anti-Semite bigot?

This lazy getting a box of Biblically (sic) unfit material blessed by a pagan priest [Kosher means, blessed by a Rabbi of apostate Christ cursing Judaism] IS NOT SUITABLE and is a blot and offense and these symbols of Chirst (sic).

Not only does Apostle Malm hate store bought matzo's he also hates store bought wine.  You should be making your own wine at home.

The wine representing blood should be red, of a good quality and with as few added chemicals as possible.  In my own opinion most wines available today are chemically treated and unfit.  Be careful in your choice, or a well made, home made wine; is most suitable for Passover.
For generations the COGs have uses a milled white flour cracker [blessed by a pagan Christ cursing Rabbi] to symbolize the body of Jesus Christ at Passover and throughout the Feast of Unleavends.

These Matzoth are made with nutrient removed milled flour that many of us would not think of giving to our families as white bread because of its valueless and even toxic nature;  also being without salt or oil and then blessed by a Christ rejecting Rabbi.
 Apostle Malm has laid down these strict rules for his bastardized 'passover" service.
All Unleavened Bread for religious purposes should be made from stone ground whole wheat flour, or the best whole wheat flour available, organic preferred.

All bread made for any “Meat” offering is to be made without leaven which is a type of the pride that comes through sin, and the deciding for ourselves as to what is right and wrong.

All unleavened bread for religious purposes is to be made with the oil, symbolic of the Holy Spirit of God which filled our Lord.

All Unleavened Bread for religious purposes is to be seasoned with salt, Lev 2:13.

While Apostle Malm is busy telling you rebellious heretics what kind of matzo's to use, he also has laid down some rules for leavening agents:

The term LEAVEN, refers to any YEAST. It also refers to artificial yeast substitutes such as BAKING POWDER, which were invented to replace yeasts.  Baking Soda is NOT a leavening agent, UNTIL it is mixed with moisture and an acid.  Therefore, soda in toothpaste or some other product, not containing acid and not intended for cooking, is NOT leaven.

While eggs are not a leavening agent in themselves; to beat them purposely to deliberately incorporate air so they act as a leavening agent; puffing up the product being cooked, is definitely wrong.

To be faithful in little, is to be faithful in much. One cannot use an inappropriate symbol to represent something Holy! Give it some thought!
 I guess this all means that I can no longer buy chocolate covered matzo's  Damn!


Andrew said...

Really it is just laughable how Malm says using anything except your own homemade matzoh, and your own homemade wine is a "blot and offense" to his god.

Malm is such a pharisee himself, I don't see how he could be a very good anti-semite bigot. I can see him being other types of bigots quite easily, just not that type.

Everything has to be sooooooo perfect for Malm. So let's just journey down his pharisaical road to the next offramp...

A good Malmite must ask himself, how perfect does my bread and wine have to be before it's good enough to be used as a symbol for the very flesh and blood of Jesus Christ?

The obvious answer is, it must be as perfect as Jesus Christ himself! The bread and wine used as your holy symbols should not be tarnished by unbelieving hands, or soiled by commerce! Only homemade bread and wine can ever be perfect. If you want to get to heaven, you have to master the art of winemaking, and perfect your baking skills too, or else YOU ARE UNFIT FOR THE KINGDOM. But when you make it yourself, god will not be AS HAPPY AS HE COULD BE unless you take the UTMOST CARE AT EACH AND EVERY STEP ALONG THE WAY!

Your bread must be the best bread on earth, second only to the bread at Jesus Christ's table in heaven! First you must grow the grain yourself on a plot of ground that you have consecrated for this holy purpose and no other, fertilized with holy manure that you have duly prayed over, watered with the most pure spring water right from a consecrated mountain spring far up in the mountains. You must collect it in glass, not polluting modern plastics. The grain must be harvested and threshed the old fashioned way. The flour must be ground with stone, not a metal grinder...etc., etc., etc.

If you though the bread was difficult, wait till you get to the wine. Once again, you must grow your own grapes, yada yada. The Eternal will have no truck with his blood being represented with wine tainted by the stain of commercially sourced grapes! No contaminants of any kind should be introduced to your wine! Your wine must be aged a minimum of seven years (and you only have five weeks until Passover, so you better get crackin’!) And when this wine is finished, it must it be good enough to sell for thousands, even perhaps millions of dollars per bottle at auction!

Your bread and wine must be the very PINNACLE of what can be made on earth, otherwise it is UNFIT MATERIAL, and is a BLOT and an OFFENSE and is INAPPROPRIATE to represent something HOLY. Only LAZY people buy their Passover bread and wine at the store! Someone ZEALOUS for his god would never commit such an atrocity!

Sigh. Just forget it. I’ll never be good enough to make it to Malmite heaven anyway. Might as well just plan on going to hell instead. I should probably make my reservations now. I want a room with a refrigerator and a microwave if there are any still available.

Jace said...

"I want a room with a refrigerator and a microwave if there are any still available."

I'm sorry, those rooms have already been reserved for the deacons and elders. Might I suggest that hotel on the outskirts of town... er... hell? I know it'll be a helluva ;-) drive to make it to services before the opening hymn, but if you skip breakfast, you should be able to pull it off.

Anonymous said...

"The bread and wine used as your holy symbols should not be tarnished by unbelieving hands, or soiled by commerce!"

Hah. I couldn't help but notice that exact phrasing in a comment at Malm's blog today. I thought that had to be satirical. Though I honestly wouldn't have put it past a Malmite to say such a thing.

Anonymous said...

"good quality homemade wine"

Somewhat of an contradiction of terms


Andrew said...

This was too good of a post by Malm. I usually don't go over there, but yesterday I did. If Malm really does start his own church, it would only be a matter of time until they created their own complete Talmud of extra-biblical commandments which are all required to please their god.

Anonymous said...

Malm knows nothing. Kosher does NOT mean "blessed" by a rabbi. Thats hogwash.
It simply means it contains no non-kosher ingredients. No blessing is made at all.
Yours truly,
Resident Jewish person