Sunday, December 7, 2025

"...the importance of being a members of continuing church of God and proof that Dr Bob is chosen at this age"



Behold! The majestic Great Bwana Doctor Robert Thiel, the self-anointed end-time leader of the Continuing Church of God in Africa (because, let’s be honest, those pesky Caucasians just weren’t gullible enough to fall for his shtick anymore). The Bwana has graciously published three glowing fan letters from his two most “faithful” African evangelists. And the first thing you’ll notice in about 0.2 seconds is that these so-called evangelists are evangelists for Bwana Bob™ and his glorious personality cult, not for that obscure fellow named Jesus Christ, who—shocker—doesn’t get a single mention. Not one. It’s almost as if the Son of God is just an inconvenient background character in the Bob Thiel Cinematic Universe.

But why stop there? Isn’t it just precious how all four of our most delightfully aberrant Church of God splinter fĂĽhrers—Ron Weinland, Gerald Flurry, David C. Pack, and of course, our own Bwana Doctor Bob—have unanimously decided that the gospel is just too boring? No, no, the real good news is them: their magnificence, their exclusive God-ordained prophet-apostle-elijah-witness-whatever title of the week. Never in the history of Armstrongism have we been blessed with so many desperate, theologically bankrupt little men frantically trying to devour the carcass of Herbert Armstrong’s movement from the inside like starving hyenas in tailored suits.

All four of these titans of ego place their number-one priority on proving how staggeringly right they are and how God personally Zoom-called them to do whatever narcissistic nonsense they’re doing this month. Jesus? Oh, He gets the occasional drive-by mention—one or two of them toss His name around like a stale matzo at Passover so they can still pretend to be Christian for five seconds. But deep, profound teaching on the significance of Christ, the resurrection, and what it actually accomplished? Please. That would require taking the spotlight off themselves for more than thirty seconds, and we can’t have that.

It positively infuriates them that Jesus came to shatter the chains of legalism and the filthy rags of works-righteousness that COG leaders have used to keep their members in bondage for nearly a century. How dare the Messiah ruin their little control-freak empire! The nerve of that Guy.

The Great Bwana Doctor Bob has these comments from his evangelists:

Greetings from Malawi.
It’s of a great pleasure to inform that my meeting with the leaders in Malawi meant a lot to both Malawi and Mozambique. We discussed a lot about leadership, congregants, the importance of being a members of continuing church of God and a proof that Dr Bob is chosen at this age in leading church of God. I also teach a lot why we are in continuing church of God. What the Bible says about who is to lead now and what kind of work is he suppose to do.
We also discussed much about the kingdom of God. Ordained feasts, the true repentance and what massage continuing church of God is delivering.
The brethren were shocked and spoken a lot when they confirmed that biblically, continuing church of God is in front to fulfill Mathew 28:19.

Lastly I asked so many questions why they are in continuing church of God.
They gave many reasons why they are in continuing church of God and why they are sealed in the truth. 
Evans Ochieng

Another letter: 

We kept sabbath in chikwawa where I met many people. The service was wonderful. I tried to encourage people to know the reason why they are in continuing church of God. And why continuing church of God is very important in their lives and I delivered to them the massage that God’s church is carrying to this age. I also explained to them why it’s only important to be sealed in the truth. 
 
Many people are walking blindly not knowing why church of God is there and who is in control. People must know why Moses was chosen, why Joshua was chosen after Moses and why Armstrong was chosen. And who is chosen now.

Why gospel must be preached and to who. Reasons for repentance and reconciliation. The importance of congregants. The conformity of God.
The race in the book of revelation.
And where are we in the prophecy.
Evans Ochieng

And another: 

Greetings,yesterday Evans was at Mogowi church the one am leading, he preached very powerful teachings than ever had before and his teachings was like the world was ending yesterday,brethren enjoyed his teachings and we are much blessed with his coming,none of us will forget his teachings and some brethren told me that they even dream at night his teachings which means the Lord God a sure his people that the teachings was full with the truth,he also told the young ones to prepare the youth camp meeting with will start on 23 December to 28 December 2025, we are praying for it.
Sosten Libungwa 
 
It’s positively heart-wrenching to realize that the brethren shuffling into these splinter shrines are mostly sincere, lovely folks who just want to follow Jesus the best their hearts know how. And there they are, dutifully sitting in pews while their “ministers” bloviate for hours about how Bwana Bob (or Dave, Gerry, or Ron, depending on the group) is the only human on Earth God trusts with the real truth™. These precious sheep are being spiritually muzzled, guilt-tripped, and financially milked by leaders who are evangelists for Bob/Dave/Gerry/Ron and their magnificent prophetic resumes, not for that irrelevant carpenter from Nazareth who apparently doesn’t rate a single sermon anymore. Truly, the compassion these leaders show is so thick you could spread it on matzos and still have enough left over to choke on.

How noble. How Christ-like. How utterly nauseating.

Crackpot Prophet: If You Are A Baptist You Need To Repent And Join The Improperly Named "continuing" Church of "god"

 

The Trail of Blood - Baptist History

Isn’t it utterly breathtaking? Here we are, trembling in awe before the most glorious prophet ever dreamed into existence—literally dreamed, because that’s how God apparently rolls these days—flung down from the heavens in the latter days just to enlighten us poor, stupid humanity and show us the One True Path™. Bow your heads, peasants; we are not worthy!

Behold, the most theologically and historically impeccable prophet ever to be squeezed out of the Catholic Church and into the Church of God, marinated in the Armstrongist Church of God movement, and finally birthed in a fit of rebellion because Rod Meredith ignored him, is here on this sunny California afternoon amid the scent of patchouli and orange blossoms, gracing us once more with his profound knowledge.

This time, armed with rock-solid theology he absorbed at the feet of Herbert W. Armstrong (and later polished in that legendary double-wide trailer in India), our hero has decided to pick a fight with… the Baptists. Yes, those Baptists—those notorious heretics who dare to have a more coherent, documented church history stretching back centuries (complete with actual records of Seventh Day Baptists in Rhode Island) than the fairy-dust trail of “true church” myths the Crackpot Prophet and his COG buddies keep flinging at the wall to justify their existence. But sure, tell us again how the Baptists are the ones who got it wrong.

Naturally, our illustrious Crackpot Bob thunders that the Baptists must immediately repent, devour his photocopied pamphlets and Amazon published "books", acknowledge they’re nothing but degenerate Protestants, and rush to join the one true church—currently headquartered in a charming little brick bolthole in scenic Grover Beach, California (population: basically Bob and several thousand bottles of over priced holoistic remedies).

Truly, the end times are upon us. How ever did we survive without this beacon of prophetic clarity?

The Bob-sey twins are here to set the Baptists straight:



The Truth About Baptist History 
 
Some in the denominational faith of the Baptist religion claim continuity and obedience to Christ from even before the foundation of the church at Pentecost. But is their claim valid? If their claim is that they practice baptism then, yes, their claim is valid. But what about obedience and doctrine? Does the Baptist faith believe what Jesus believed? Does the Baptist faith do what Jesus did? But does the claim to continuity merely require baptism while adhering to doctrines never practiced or taught by Jesus Christ or the apostles or the church founded on Pentecost? Hardly. What is the real history of the Baptist faith as chronicled by some leading scholars and practitioners of that faith? What are the beliefs they really practice? Were some who they claim to be their spiritual ancestors have actually been Church of God? Could the Baptist faith be classified as simply another belief system related to the Protestant movement? Is there a faithful group with apostolic succession? Watch this video and listen as Dr. Thiel shines the light of Biblical knowledge and understanding on the faith and practices of the early church. The time is at hand. 
 
And so, dear Baptists, there is obviously only one solution to save your doomed souls: immediately repent of your centuries-long foolishness, binge-read every last page of Crackpot Bob’s Xeroxed masterpieces, and humbly defect to the One True Faith™.

Do this quickly, and you might—just might—earn the coveted early-morning phone call inviting you to flee to the Place of Safety™ (Petra, Pella, or whichever God-forsaken Jordanian dust-bowl Bwana Bob is vibing with this week). There, for three-and-a-half glorious years, you’ll enjoy nonstop bliss while being lectured daily by the prophet himself on why you were so very, very wrong about literally everything.

Truly, what more could any sinner ask for? Sign-up forms are in the foyer of the little brick building in Grover Beach and operators are standing by - 1.800.423.4444.

The late Herbert W. Armstrong pointed out:

The … CHURCH OF GOD … is in direct continuous succession from the apostolic Church founded by Christ A.D. 31 (Armstrong HW. Why The Church? Good News, August 14, 1978) 
 
The true Church continued, a tiny “little flock,” almost unnoticed by the world … (Armstrong HW. The Church They Couldn’t Destroy. Good News, December 1981) 

So, if you are Baptist (or any other non-Church of God faith), I urge you to be like the Bereans of old (Acts 17:10-11) and search the scriptures (as well as facts about church history) to see if these things are so.