Exposing the underbelly of Armstrongism in all of its wacky glory! Nothing you read here is made up. What you read here is the up to date face of Herbert W Armstrong's legacy. It's the gritty and dirty behind the scenes look at Armstrongism as you have never seen it before!
With all the new crazy self-appointed Chief Overseers, Apostles, Prophets, Pharisees, legalists, and outright liars leading various Churches of God today, it is important to hold these agents of deception accountable.
Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web of Corrupt Leaders
Great hilarious post. Like the Biden I am fit for office. Carnivores on the Ark could read Zombies in the WH lol.
The Bible is an incredible document much misunderstood and will undoubtedly be studied for decades and centuries ahead by many, scholars and layman together. Sometimes the interpretations of the Bible are more interesting than what is written in scripture but that does not invalidate its power to change lives for good. And to cause much division and controversy as the Armstrong movement shows us. The comments to this post about the Ark will be interesting.
Maybe there was a Turkish style ancient Trader Joe's tofu-vegan straw-like-the-ox Purina cat chow dispensary for awhile. But on the other hand, did they all have to wait indeed, like Cain & Abel waited for a mate...
If we can believe in aliens, & UFOs, & Harry Potter, & ESP, & drivers "safely" using new legal cannabis, then I speculate some kind of zoological "manna" was possibly stockpiled aboard in never before mentioned ship's stocks.
As a naturalist, Bob simply can't help but see and acknowledge the many values of cannabis. I believe that if the Apostle Paul were alive today, he'd probably apply for the requisite licenses to open a dispensary, and to fund the spreading of the gospel with the income from said dispensary.
If Bob were to do this, we'd have a new name for him. The Marijuana Bwana!. Not that big of a stretch for him, because his message is alteady far out!
Love this. Another thought to ponder along similar lines: why does God hate amputees? It seems he only heals people of diseases which are internal in nature. Never once has he healed an amputee. Sure he's healed the blind, the sick, the melancholy, the lepers, but never once an amputee. Apparently he's got a grudge against people who have lost a limb.
You all are so dumb. You post this meme like "Armstrongites" are the only ones who believe in the Bible and the stories in it. There are millions upon millions of people who believe in the Bible. And it isn't so much about the meme, but the comments from the stupid people.
Yes, what did the lions and pussy cats eat when fresh off the ark? This proves that God doesn't exist and that the bible is a hoax. This is true since the God of the bible is too weak to address and solve this problem.
You take a manuscript that is an overview of events and complain because every minute detail isn't laid out for you. Oh ye of little faith (or, maybe no faith would be more accurate).
It is easy to have fun with the Flood story but realize that fundamentalists, inept though their efforts may be, wage serious war on science over this. But the Flood, as fundamentalists assert it, is a creature of tradition and the KJV translators. They defend a fantasy.
If this stirs your curiosity, have a look at this article by Ranger:
Healing amputees. Jesus re-attached an ear in the Garden of Gethsemane. The interesting question that this raises is whether everything the Three-personed God has done has been documented in the Judeo-Christian scriptures. The answer, of course, is no. Also, the medical characterization of disease in the Bible is appropriate to the times. Did Jesus ever heal a case of multiple sclerosis? How would we know given the state of the medical arts in ancient times? We might well mistakenly conclude he did not and, therefore, has some grudge against people with MS.
I thought I would respond to this because such ideas, not seriously considered, because they are simplistic and repeatable, soon become circulating memes.
Actually he just "healed him" - whether the ear reattached or the wound just healed is not specified. But "why doesnt god heal amputees" used to be a website mocking TV "faith healers". The conditions are always things that arent detectable to the eye. It's very convenient.
Yeah. Concrete walls 10' thick and 10' into the ground and 8000' high or so were built around Messopotamia to keep the flood local, and when they were removed the water dropped so fast Noah and company hit their heads on the ceiling of the ark.
Come to think of it those walls still would not be strong enough to contain that much water, maybe. (Don't get me wrong: I believe the universal flood account)
This is an interesting thing. I never thought that we would reach a point in time when someone actually had to translate for us the ancient times, in such a way that reflected the proliferation of knowledge which has taken place just over the span of my own lifetime. But, it makes sense. If multigenerations of a family are watching a classic TV show from the early 1950s, the birth of television, and the grandparents must explain to the teenagers what it was like back then, and how the jokes make sense, and actually are quite funny, then it also makes sense that someone would need to explain how the Bible made perfect sense prior to the advances in science, technology, medicine, and actually civilization as a whole. As a part of life in that era, the ancient writings were in so many ways the ultimate authority for the majority of those who lived in civilized, predominantly Christian nations around the world. Although there were those who questioned them even then, there was not the huge disparity between the times which exists today, when anything can be thoroughly questioned and investigated not only by academics, but by common people, with a few clicks of the mouse.
It's difficult for some to imagine an era when neighbors gathered at a home where a family was fortunate enough to have a small-screened black and white television, the antenna on the roof being rotated by a small motor to better pull in the picture from the handful of available broadcasting stations, the TV with adjustments marked "vertical" and "horizontal", and a dial of mostly unused channels which were always fuzzy. It was the epitome of high tech of that era. It was still a novelty that you could be sitting in your living room, and a man on a box would teach you about the Bible. These were the times before the Russians shocked the world with Sputnik I, and the jury was not yet in as to whether man would ever go to the moon. A horrible epidemic of polio was raging, and people lined up, willingly placing their bets on the safety and efficacy of the new vaccines which ultimately did wipe out the disease. Rock n roll was just emerging, and people who didn't like it could watch it being mocked on TV by Sid Caesar with his parody group "The Three Haircuts".
I guess it's pretty amazing that one of the writers of the Bible would have foreseen a time when knowledge would increase on a logarithmic scale, and the changes in perception this would bring.
RSK wrote, "Actually he just "healed him" - whether the ear reattached or the wound just healed is not specified.
"And Jesus answered and said, Suffer ye thus far. And he touched his ear, and healed him."
This seems clear. Also, in koine the diminutive is used to refer to a body part. In the verse above that diminuitive is used- comes out to be something like "earlet." Jesus did not just heal the cut around the earhole, leaving the ear to lie on the ground. The wound around the earhole would have healed anyway and is not notable. Jesus actually fused the ear back onto his head. That's the only way the logistics would work.
I dont know about that. A scalpel wasnt used, it was a sword - a cut that was probably none too neat and not limited to just the outer ear. The "earlet" may just as easily have been a piece left on the man's head - I dont think the text is clear on that point. Regardless, in the two thousand years since, has anyone grown a new limb from divine healing?
11:04 So true. The prevailing notion in the past was that dinosaurs eg T-Rex were meat-eaters, but from what I’ve learned in recent years is that evidence is being discovered that they were actually vegetarians. So in any case we know that God didn’t permit man to eat meat until after the global Flood. But, it’s probable sinful man was eating meat before the Flood. Hence, just like God chose righteous Noah who wouldn’t have been eating meat until the divine sanction post-Flood then who knows what kind of creatures God sent to him to be saved on the ark or what supernatural powers He performed on them so they weren’t devouring each other and wouldn’t have this genetic trait or taste for meat for many generations to come?
27 comments:
Great hilarious post.
Like the Biden I am fit for office.
Carnivores on the Ark could read Zombies in the WH lol.
The Bible is an incredible document much misunderstood and will undoubtedly be studied for decades and centuries ahead by many, scholars and layman together. Sometimes the interpretations of the Bible are more interesting than what is written in scripture but that does not invalidate its power to change lives for good.
And to cause much division and controversy as the Armstrong movement shows us.
The comments to this post about the Ark will be interesting.
Maybe there was a Turkish style ancient Trader Joe's tofu-vegan straw-like-the-ox Purina cat chow dispensary for awhile. But on the other hand, did they all have to wait indeed, like Cain & Abel waited for a mate...
This is great! But, it might be a little too deep for some Armstrongites to understand.
If we can believe in aliens, & UFOs, & Harry Potter, & ESP, & drivers "safely" using new legal cannabis, then I speculate some kind of zoological "manna" was possibly stockpiled aboard in never before mentioned ship's stocks.
Could time yet tell for that puzzle too?
Weren't the plants and time keepers out of scientifically required order in the creation narrative in Genesis 1 as well?
As a naturalist, Bob simply can't help but see and acknowledge the many values of cannabis. I believe that if the Apostle Paul were alive today, he'd probably apply for the requisite licenses to open a dispensary, and to fund the spreading of the gospel with the income from said dispensary.
If Bob were to do this, we'd have a new name for him. The Marijuana Bwana!. Not that big of a stretch for him, because his message is alteady far out!
Love this. Another thought to ponder along similar lines: why does God hate amputees? It seems he only heals people of diseases which are internal in nature. Never once has he healed an amputee. Sure he's healed the blind, the sick, the melancholy, the lepers, but never once an amputee. Apparently he's got a grudge against people who have lost a limb.
You all are so dumb. You post this meme like "Armstrongites" are the only ones who believe in the Bible and the stories in it. There are millions upon millions of people who believe in the Bible. And it isn't so much about the meme, but the comments from the stupid people.
The only sholoars who will study the bible in the future will be con artists and psychologists.
wasn't my comment ok? (take your pick 4:51, which one you think was mine)
ATHEISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At least he/she spelled atheist correctly and not athiest.
Yes, what did the lions and pussy cats eat when fresh off the ark? This proves that God doesn't exist and that the bible is a hoax. This is true since the God of the bible is too weak to address and solve this problem.
They ate fish.
You take a manuscript that is an overview of events and complain because every minute detail isn't laid out for you. Oh ye of little faith (or, maybe no faith would be more accurate).
It is easy to have fun with the Flood story but realize that fundamentalists, inept though their efforts may be, wage serious war on science over this. But the Flood, as fundamentalists assert it, is a creature of tradition and the KJV translators. They defend a fantasy.
If this stirs your curiosity, have a look at this article by Ranger:
https://armstrongismlibrary.blogspot.com/2023/12/noah-and-presumed-universal-flood.html
Scout
Healing amputees. Jesus re-attached an ear in the Garden of Gethsemane. The interesting question that this raises is whether everything the Three-personed God has done has been documented in the Judeo-Christian scriptures. The answer, of course, is no. Also, the medical characterization of disease in the Bible is appropriate to the times. Did Jesus ever heal a case of multiple sclerosis? How would we know given the state of the medical arts in ancient times? We might well mistakenly conclude he did not and, therefore, has some grudge against people with MS.
I thought I would respond to this because such ideas, not seriously considered, because they are simplistic and repeatable, soon become circulating memes.
Scout
Is Bob translating his materials into PIG LATIN yet??
Actually he just "healed him" - whether the ear reattached or the wound just healed is not specified.
But "why doesnt god heal amputees" used to be a website mocking TV "faith healers". The conditions are always things that arent detectable to the eye. It's very convenient.
plenty o' fish in the 7 seas (1 sea)
any meat eating animal probably would have no problem eating fish awhile
Yeah. Concrete walls 10' thick and 10' into the ground and 8000' high or so were built around Messopotamia to keep the flood local, and when they were removed the water dropped so fast Noah and company hit their heads on the ceiling of the ark.
Come to think of it those walls still would not be strong enough to contain that much water, maybe. (Don't get me wrong: I believe the universal flood account)
Who said NO2HWA pre-flood Lions, for example, eat meat?
What will Lions, for example, be eating in the Kingdom of God?
This is an interesting thing. I never thought that we would reach a point in time when someone actually had to translate for us the ancient times, in such a way that reflected the proliferation of knowledge which has taken place just over the span of my own lifetime. But, it makes sense. If multigenerations of a family are watching a classic TV show from the early 1950s, the birth of television, and the grandparents must explain to the teenagers what it was like back then, and how the jokes make sense, and actually are quite funny, then it also makes sense that someone would need to explain how the Bible made perfect sense prior to the advances in science, technology, medicine, and actually civilization as a whole. As a part of life in that era, the ancient writings were in so many ways the ultimate authority for the majority of those who lived in civilized, predominantly Christian nations around the world. Although there were those who questioned them even then, there was not the huge disparity between the times which exists today, when anything can be thoroughly questioned and investigated not only by academics, but by common people, with a few clicks of the mouse.
It's difficult for some to imagine an era when neighbors gathered at a home where a family was fortunate enough to have a small-screened black and white television, the antenna on the roof being rotated by a small motor to better pull in the picture from the handful of available broadcasting stations, the TV with adjustments marked "vertical" and "horizontal", and a dial of mostly unused channels which were always fuzzy. It was the epitome of high tech of that era. It was still a novelty that you could be sitting in your living room, and a man on a box would teach you about the Bible. These were the times before the Russians shocked the world with Sputnik I, and the jury was not yet in as to whether man would ever go to the moon. A horrible epidemic of polio was raging, and people lined up, willingly placing their bets on the safety and efficacy of the new vaccines which ultimately did wipe out the disease. Rock n roll was just emerging, and people who didn't like it could watch it being mocked on TV by Sid Caesar with his parody group "The Three Haircuts".
I guess it's pretty amazing that one of the writers of the Bible would have foreseen a time when knowledge would increase on a logarithmic scale, and the changes in perception this would bring.
RSK wrote, "Actually he just "healed him" - whether the ear reattached or the wound just healed is not specified.
"And Jesus answered and said, Suffer ye thus far. And he touched his ear, and healed him."
This seems clear. Also, in koine the diminutive is used to refer to a body part. In the verse above that diminuitive is used- comes out to be something like "earlet." Jesus did not just heal the cut around the earhole, leaving the ear to lie on the ground. The wound around the earhole would have healed anyway and is not notable. Jesus actually fused the ear back onto his head. That's the only way the logistics would work.
Scout
I dont know about that. A scalpel wasnt used, it was a sword - a cut that was probably none too neat and not limited to just the outer ear. The "earlet" may just as easily have been a piece left on the man's head - I dont think the text is clear on that point.
Regardless, in the two thousand years since, has anyone grown a new limb from divine healing?
Wrong commentator but do keep the insults coming.
11:04 So true. The prevailing notion in the past was that dinosaurs eg T-Rex were meat-eaters, but from what I’ve learned in recent years is that evidence is being discovered that they were actually vegetarians. So in any case we know that God didn’t permit man to eat meat until after the global Flood. But, it’s probable sinful man was eating meat before the Flood. Hence, just like God chose righteous Noah who wouldn’t have been eating meat until the divine sanction post-Flood then who knows what kind of creatures God sent to him to be saved on the ark or what supernatural powers He performed on them so they weren’t devouring each other and wouldn’t have this genetic trait or taste for meat for many generations to come?
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