For decades we have heard the stories of thousands who have left Armstrongism and how that action impacted their lives. One of the most shocking things many experienced was how fraudulent the friendships that they had with fellow church members actually were. The minute any one starts questioning the church, beliefs, the minister, or its doctrines those once "loyal" friends would instantly turn their backs on you.
Armstrongism has always been belief system that was based upon superficial appearances. It was vitally important to the church to be seen as special. Beautiful campuses, exquisite homes for leaders filled with gold, silver and the finest art. Impeccably dressed leaders pounding lecterns while living repugnant lifestyles. Beautiful videos, visually striking booklets and magazines, produced by some of the most morally and spiritually bankrupt men/churches imaginable. All utterly fake and insincere. Just like relationships.
Real friends stick by one another, regardless of the situation. Real friends would refuse to follow the admonition of lying fools who tell them to turn their backs on spouses, family and friends. Friendships in the Church of God have always been superficial. They never have been truly sincere and usually never deep. Deep abiding love is hard to find in the Church of God.
The following letter was posted on the following thread:
Rod Meredith's Super Special Not So Special Christmas Sermon
- My family left LCG about two years ago.
The first three months or so were somewhat lonely, but we looked around for community organizations we could join to meet people with shared interests.
By six months out, we had a social routine that was as busy as our old LCG routine, except that we never had to drive more than a half-hour to go to a meeting with any of our new friends.
After about a year, we had started to develop some close friendships with our new friends.
Around that time, my wife became seriously ill. We let our old LCG acquaintances know about her illness, and one of our children who still has some close LCG ties even got his mother's name on a prayer list.
So, who was it who came to visit my wife in the hospital? Was it the LCG friends she had known for nearly 20 years? NOT ONE of the LCG friends visited or even phoned to express their concern or support. It was our new friends, people we had known for no more than a year, who rallied to my wife's side and gave her the encouragement that she so needed.
When she was discharged from the hospital, my wife reminded me of my own time in the hospital about a decade ago. Even while we were LCG members in good standing, nobody from LCG had bothered to visit me in the hospital. At the time I didn't think anything of it, as I just assumed everyone was busy with their work and with their many church activities. But seeing how non-LCG-members rallied for my wife, the contrast was too great to ignore.
If you are still in LCG, do not fear. Life is much better on the outside. You will have friends. Real friends. Better friends than you ever had in LCG.
40 comments:
I saw the same pattern many times in WCG's so-called "golden years" of the 1980s, and heard of many more. I can recall one or two instances that went against the grain.
It's not necessarily a unique experience in global non-COG life, but its frequency within the COGs should be alarming.
Why it's so common in COGland, I don't know.
Sad but true.
We had a friend in lcg who died of cancer, same thing happened. We had to shame the minister into visiting her. It was at that time I decided to leave. I still visit with some members, even though the minister forbids it.
Like the old song,: Got a long without you before I met you, gonna get along with out you now."
COGs and churches in general can bring together some unlikely friends. When I lived with a group of WCG guys, one mentioned condescendingly that if it was for "the Church" he never would have associated with "people like you".
Admittedly, I'm imagining a Living COG "ministurd" raving on about church eras, and someone saying "Are you sure this isn't Ephesus?" Heh.
Giving credit where credit is due, I will say my mother received much support from a handful of LCG members and ministers in her last final days. Minister Ray Clore and his wife visited my mother in the hospital as well as some of her life long time friends from WCG/LCG. I was very impressed by the support she received. I can't and won't criticize LCG on this topic. Although I will say I wrote RCM a letter shortly after my mother's passing informing him of my mother's death and that his tithe revenue income stream just went down.
Richard
Lake of Fire Church of God
When my mother was dying of cancer not a single person came to visit or assist her. People that she had cared for, cooked for, made baby blankets for never lifted a finger to help, make a phone call or send a get well card. Nothing! The jackass minister never even visited! Thanks for nothing United Church of God! You sure loved her tithe money though! Fuck you Viv Kubik and Robin Webber!
I have no idea who the original poster is but my LCG experience was very much the same.
Only, I would add that I was scrutinized for having "worldly friends" by my LCG friends who didn't think I should socialize with people I knew from work. LCG friends reminded me often that I was supposed to "come out of the world not go out to dinner with them every weekend".
I saw over time how LCG "friendship" was 100% conditional on membership and enthusiasm for LCG.
Now that I am no longer in LCG (I'm in another ACOG) none of the people who spent hundreds of hours at my home, year after year, partaking of my friendship and hospitality, have made any effort to speak to me or see me (its been years now). I have reached out to them but it is blaringly obvious that their love and pseudo friendship was NOT unconditional.
It appears to be a group phenomenon in LCG. A collective unconscious if you will. I know of many other ex-LCG members who have the same story.
People in the "world" are FAR more loyal, loving and REAL. People in the world love their friends in good times and in bad. They visit them when they are ill. Uplift them when they are down. Provide encouragement and light in times of darkness.
LCG friends are FAKE. It's a heart breaking lesson to learn and I will never trust anyone with 100% of my heart again because of my experience with LCG.
I mentioned this before, for the 8 years that I attended services, I responded to every prayer request. When I eventually had a problem, no one cared or prayed for me. Praying for one another is in practise, not a two way street.
Also when I started attending church, I joined a outside club that taught a certain technical skill. I quickly formed good friendships that will extend into eternity. I formed no such relationships in the church.
My wife and I left LCG over 15 years ago and immediately felt the coldness that happens when you leave a COG. The saddest part, people who we really thought were our friends, became the most hostile and distant, almost immediately.
What was most enlightening were the people who were almost sycophantic toward us while we attended there (I did a lot for the local church, spoke in several, etc), and these types almost immediately became cold as ice.
I've given some thought to why this is and I really believe that we were so programmed to believe that anyone who would leave THE church, should be regarded and treated worse than the world (and we all know how we were brainwashed along those lines). So in practice, these people feel they are actually doing what God would approve of, and never give a second thought how wrong this is.
We still have one child in LCG and our relationship with their family is proof of this, as we are treated by them as almost an afterthought, simply because they have truly allowed the organization to become their surrogate family.
I think back on all the years we attended WCG and several others and realize how many lives, families and relationships we collectively allowed to be destroyed because we thought we were "doing" God's will through our supreme ignorance. It is with great sadness I say this, as well as shame, that I fell for this unbelievably wrong minded attitude toward those we should have embraced.
The saddest part is how much of the Bible these groups seem to ignore basic truths (going the extra mile, giving your cloak and being a sheep versus a goat to mention just a few) by treating anyone like the scum of the earth.
I truly do feel much of the blame will be laid at the feet of the leadership, who arrogantly decided such a wrong headed belief and approach, but we also share some blame, as many of us allowed these men to control things in our lives that the Bible clearly says is just plain wrong.
Yeah, I said much the same thing when I discovered my mother had continued to tithe to WCG up until maybe 2005. They didn't have any problem taking that money, New Covenant or not. But yes, when she became ill, how many COG friends showed up? Zero.
But they all sucked up to Herbie after the guy died and went to hell.
How true this is. Everything was superficial and conditional in the old WCG. When I left, the only friends who stood by me were others who left also, and some of them later turned on me when I didn't tow the line they thought I should. What saved me was getting out into "worldly" associations where I made truly lasting friends. It took a while, but I never had those emotional tugs to crawl back and beg anyone's forgiveness. That would have destroyed me totally.
Allen C. Dexter
When you are in a cult -- and certainly the ACoGs are sects of a cult -- the only thing that matters is the cult itself and its leader(s).
No one should have any other expectations.
When you are no longer in the cult, you are no longer relevant to it and do not functionally exist to it.
A cult, like a corporation, is not a person: It is an 'it' -- an thing -- with no soul, no empathy, no humanity and it only exists for the sake of its own existence (and the enrichment and aggrandizement of the leader(s)).
Now go easy on Robin Webber. His mother told me once that she felt he was in training to be one of the two witnesses. The witnesses can't waste their time associating with the chafe of the church.
Anonymous 4:39 PM wrote:
Viv Kubik
UCG changing its view of transgender issues?
Hoss, your 2.01PM comment is a truism. There are class differences in the church. My experience is that if there is a big class difference, the relationship has a use by date on it.
It's a mistake to assume people must have fallen away because they stopped attending church services. The holy spirit told me to stop attending church in 1990.
Attending services is not a end in itself but rather a means to an end. Attendance should be helping people qualify for the kingdom. If church attendance hampers this, it's a sin to attend.
It can go both ways, though. I've tried several times to contact some who have left my ACOG, who I thought were friends, but they never responded. It's a deeply entrenched mindset.
Apparently attending a particular corporate group is all some have in common. Take that away, and there is no reason to remain friends. It's a sad state that has been conditioned over many years. As long as there is that mindset, there's no need for most groups to enforce an official 'shunning' policy--the members do it themselves without being told!
Minister Ray Clore and his wife visited my mother in the hospital as well as some of her life long time friends from WCG/LCG.
There are some good men in LCG. Ray Clore is one of them.
Wonderful topic, wonderful debate with real life experiences these are the kind of post I would love to see more of, hits right to the heart of the matter of a serious problem the cogs suffer from. The same worldly family I used to pay little attention too are the only ones i have now I left lcg and I realize no one in lcg could care more for me than they do, their love is unconditional many only love you with conditions in the Cogs sad but true.
In the COGs you will meet some FRENEMIES: People who pretend to be friends but are actually enemies.
Even though we left the WCG in 1998, we have managed to retain a number of friendships with some members who are still attending the local GCI congregation, and even a very few who attend one of the "splinter" groups. True, we don't see them all that often, but there has been absolutely no acrimony when we've gotten together. So there are situations where former ties aren't always broken, but after we left a local evangelical church congregation after attending regularly for about ten years, all we got was a phone call from one of the elders, sixteen months after we left! The individual was using a speaker phone, so I surmised that someone else was in the room with him listening in. The conversation was cordial, I calmly registered my objections with some of their teachings which I believed had become rather legalistic, but I knew that after the call was over, I would never hear from that person again, and I didn't. Then some time after that, my wife and I dropped off some used clothing at the church building for one of their charity drives, and we briefly encountered the church pastor. However, he never even bothered to speak to us or to acknowledge our presence except for a curt nod as he quickly brushed past us. We got the impression that we were undesirables as far as he was concerned!
So even in mainstream churches, as is definitely the case with many peoples COG experiences, you can become an instant "non person" when you leave, especially if it is a church that always has a lot of "sign up lists" for various activities, and you aren't one who is inclined to sign up all that often. It seems that some churches are essentially social clubs with a Christian veneer, and if you aren't a prominent member, you could very quickly fade into obscurity when you stop attending. Friendships within some non COG church groups could also be referred to as “conditional friendships”, which hold only if you continue to attend.
Friends? It's not like a Star Trek Convention you know -- people with very strongly similar interests.
No, you take people who have totally different interests, not to mention very great differences in education, intelligence, experience, careers, sophistication -- not just different but wildly incompatible perspectives and beliefs, and pack them into an aggressively abusive artificial environment, stressing them (at minimum, financially) to try to survive in a less than viable ecology. [It's the Survivor at its worst.] You get them together under a very powerful despot, wielding virtual authority, forcing people to comply through emotional extortion. Dominate them with hireling tin plated star toting guards and you have the Milgram and Princeton Prison Experiments all rolled into one. They are controlled through psychological manipulation. When you get all through, some of them think they've bonded with each other through the Stockholm Syndrome. Herbert Armstrong created the standard psychological stress experiment on a grand scale.
So, no real friendship is possible unless, by pure random chance, some few may find they have a common interest -- for example, they are boozing alcoholics. Of course, this provides a pathology all its own and it's not particularly healthy.
Moreover, unstable environments, as pointed out by Dr. Robert Hare and Dr. Paul Babiak in their coauthored book, "Snakes in Suits", draw psychopaths. So in addition to the artificially constructed social stress experiment, predators are added to the chaos.
One other thing: Do you think it is an accident that there are 700+ (one person put it at over 1,200) sects of the Cult of Herbert Armstrong? Of course it isn't. It should be obvious of anyone with an I.Q. over 85 that one of the reasons for so many spit-offs is that not only don't people have anything much in common (beyond alcoholism) and couldn't possibly be real friends, they also cannot agree on much of anything, left to their own devices and are allowed to settle into their own belief system. Of course, really, people in Armstrongism aren't really sure what to believe after their brainwashing and psychological conditioning, so they have to have someone to tell them what they believe. It's simpler that way. They can't think for themselves and have to have someone else to do it for them. When they are told "We are family!" they accept it in their fog laiden moronic sensibilities. None of it is true, really, unless you consider it to be a completely unworkable dysfunctional family forced into slavery, working for the common good of the leadership.
It's totally unreasonable to believe that anything like real friendship could exist in an insane venue of deception and stress, surrounded by wolves.
It's a cult thing, and a very sad yet common phenomenon.
8:48 PM, are you kidding me? When one leaves one ACOG for another, it's considered like apostasy. It's not at all unusual for when a person leaves one COG for another, interpersonal contact ceases. What happened in the case you described, anon @ 8:48?
1) Had your "friends" entered another COG group? If so, a lack of communication would be totally unsurprising.
2) Had your "friends" left COG groups altogether? If so, a lack of communication could be explained by-
2a) The kindness of not wanting to not say things that may hurt you in your journey.
2b) Not wanting to engage in a debate about "what's right" if their perception was that you were so inclined.
2c) Protecting themselves as they were feeling raw and in the process of sorting things out.
Btw, I completely agree with your statements that, "It's a deeply entrenched mindset." and, "It's a sad state that has been conditioned over many years."
When my parents left the church the congregation was told to have no further contact with them.
I've recently read Leah Remini's book Troublemaker, as well as watching The Aftermath, and what I see is something similar, when it comes to how cult x-members are treated by people still in the cults:
Kirstie Alley told Leah, "You are my enemy."
Am I going too far to say when someone leaves a cult that the onus should be on the cult members to be kind and understanding toward the person who's left the cult?
I doubt it, but I'm open to feedback.
I'm sorry you've had that experience. When we find a true friend, we should treat them like the treasure they are. But negotiating the post-COG friendship dance is a hard thing. I've been on both sides of that and unless it's a close friendship or family, it's difficult to maintain.
Consider that your leaders have been preaching for years that you're the only true Christians, criticized other COG groups as fallen away, have damned Catholics and Protestants as deceived fools, and tacitly warned you against friendship "with the world" because it could unknowingly lead you out of "the church."
If your friend leaves for another COG group, it's usually in a split or controversy and your leaders have been demonizing the folks your friend follows from the pulpit. Never mind the fact that this friend likely lives at least an hour away, because of all the splintering. Now you are on separate schedules, separate activities, and your leaders are conditioning you to distrust each other. I'm happy to see many younger COG folks starting to bridge this gap. That's not the way it's gone for most of us.
If your friend leaves for a Catholic or Protestant group, they know what people are saying about them. In the past, they've probably joined you in tearing down others who left. If you had a particularly good friendship and are particularly mature people, the friendship may survive. But those who leave know they are usually taken for a deceived, sinning fool who's getting sucked into paganism. That's not a great, level ground for a relationship.
It's important to understand the real anxiety that many who leave the COGs have to face as they leave. I can remember, shortly after leaving, sitting in my new church and receiving a phone call from a COG elder. I nearly had a panic attack. This happened several times. Explaining myself to every person who called or I ran into caused me a LOT of anxiety. I suspect many who leave just want to avoid that situation altogether. If you left a COG when you moved out of your parents' house and never really believed, that's one thing. It's quite another to have been a sincere believer, change your mind, and walk away from everything and most everyone you've ever known, with the full knowledge that you will be judged as a deceived fool. Some have welcomed me, some essentially kicked me out of their house when I told them my decision, others won't even make eye contact.
And if you have children, that makes it more difficult. Mature adults can avoid certain touchy topics. But kids? "What do you mean, you got that for Christmas? You celebrate Christmas? Don't you know that's pagan? You went to a baseball game yesterday? Don't you know it's the Sabbath? That's a sin!". Who wants to put their kids in that situation, especially if the child has already had a difficult transition?
(continued)
And then there's the difficulty of WHEN to get together. When do you want to get together? Not on Friday night! That's a sin! And we can't meet at a restaurant until after sunset Saturday, some will say. Oh. Ok. Well, I'm at church much of the day Sunday. Maybe Sunday afternoon? Don't forget, we live an hour away from each other because we are the ones who ended up in the same group thanks to the splintering. Hmmm. Maybe we can meet for a couple hours three Sunday afternoons from now? But not around Christmas or the Feast or the Days of Unleavened Bread, that's too awkward.
Unfortunately, many of us have been forced to start over every 3 years or so thanks to splitting and splintering. That's not exactly a good pattern for establishing and maintaining close relationships. Basically we were conditioned to walk away from people who disagreed with us, at least on matters of any substance. Some even saw it as a badge of honor. I wish it were different. I wish I had been able to keep childhood friends. I wish many of them didn't view me the way they do. But I can't blame them, because I did the same thing.
Mitigator, I'm sorry to hear that you had that experience with the evangelical pastor. I could see that happening in my church. I think this conversation is about the people, though. Two of my closest friends used to attend my church and don't any longer. It's not a big deal. One friend I knew back when I was in the COGs, and I almost never saw her at church when they attended there. When you are cloistered in the COG and consider them to be the only true churches, of course you don't leave unless it's a bitter doctrinal problem. But people leave mainstream churches for many non-doctrinal reasons. Some might leave because they don't like the environment of the youth program. Others might move to a smaller or larger church because it isn't working for them. Some might want one closer to home, so they can serve in their local community. I don't think anyone labels them as bitter or having an attitude problem. Yes, when you exit a social circle sometimes relationships suffer, which is a shame, although that's reality. But it's hardly the same thing that happens to one who leaves the COGs.
Martha, just to pick one of your points out-
You wrote, "It's important to understand the real anxiety that many who leave the COGs have to face as they leave."
Excellent point.
You said what I'd earlier tried to express in my "1) thru 2c)" comments above.
Thanks for expounding on even more points that I find true and relevant.
Most of all, thanks for pointing out the important difference between what happens when a person leaves a less cultish church versus what happens when leaves a COG church.
Back when I was a member and they didn't believe in doctors etc., many members felt uncomfortable going to a hospital even to visit. Something like entering the temple of Baal. The only time I remember my family visiting someone in hospital was an old man who was dying. He was not receiving treatment I guess. Anyone else was probably sinning by going to a hospital.
And then people who left, if they became ill, that was generally thought to be a warning, like they left Gods church, now they have cancer.
Perhaps they still have this prejudice against sick people, the idea that sickness is caused by sin. It does seem strange that most of these churches now take advantage of medical help.
@8:54 am
In one case, it was #1, so it wasn't surprising, just disheartening.
But there have been some exceptions to the norm.
I think that, particularly in the older generations (who were probably taught this), there is this idea that if you cut off contact with a person who has left, they will see how cold and lonely life is outside the group and come running back begging for forgiveness. So in that way of thinking, isolation becomes an act of love and kindness rather than the opposite.
And then you throw in what Martha said about "your leaders have been preaching for years that you're the only true Christians, criticized other COG groups as fallen away, have damned Catholics and Protestants as deceived fools, and tacitly warned you against friendship "with the world" because it could unknowingly lead you out of "the church." ", and you have a perfect recipe for the end of a friendship.
Never mind all the talk while you're all in the same group about 'unconditional love' and 'a friend who sticks closer than a brother', because when things change all that goes out the window.
Many ACOG members don't like each other anyway. But, while they are members, they are commanded to love one another. When someone they never liked in the first place is suddenly disfellowshipped, it lets them off the hook so that they can do as they always wanted to do.
BB
That churches are often nothing more than social clubs needs qualification. Some people travel in a carefully chosen, narrow social circle, so for them it's a social club. But others are locked out of such better circles, and find themselves often taken advantage of.
I'm just saying, a social club is a two way street. Many find themselves robbed under the pretext of Christian 'love,' 'serving,' 'the give way,' 'outgoing concern', etc. This is exploitation rather than a social club.
BB, you are correct. I know of one specific instance where one adult individual couldn't stand another adult individual but attended the same congregation. When the disliked individual left their splinter, they felt free to "unfriend" them on Facebook and cut off contact since they were no longer "of the body of Christ." And freely admitted that they did it and why.
Is this high school or is it the only true Christian church on the planet?
My Wonderful Stepford Friends.
"The minute any one starts questioning the church, beliefs, the minister, or its doctrines those once "loyal" friends would instantly turn their backs on you."
"Real friends stick by one another, regardless of the situation." True that. Good friends will most likely choose to understand, rather than argue.
DBP
Ha! This is hilarious. Here he comes the witness in the wooly jumper...
I remember right after my walkway I was invited to attend the funeral of one of my more dear friends. His wife wanted my presence. I was hesitant because I knew I would be shunned for the spiritual leper I had become. It was weird to have old associates look past me or even worse, through me. Some I had known for 25 years. My friend's wife treated me politely. My former Pastor even shook my hand in front of people. We had worked together for 8 years. That is the last time I saw him. The WCG got flushed and he welcomed the CGI changes.
As a practicing cynic I now accept that phoniness is the mark of the WCG. The Deity, the churches, the doctrines, relationships, friendships (?) and many more remembrances are all
different indications of being phony. I was lucky not to have married in the WCG cult. Herbert Armstrong was a liar, thief, false prophet and chief of the phonies. Then we have to admit the problems of being humans.
Jim
Jim
To everyone pointing out that it goes both ways, how can you blame them? Why would someone want to keep eyes pried on themself by the vultures when you can't even stand up for yourself anymore because you're no longer a part of the group? I tried to stay friends with some and all they did was ridicule my every choice and then run back to the congregation and gossip about me. Once I finally said I don't need this I could finally breathe. I no longer cared. They no longer hurt me. So much for "we are family" as LCG puts it.
"We are family". HAH! More phoniness in the "True Church". (Note even the phony name).
His god couldn't rescue Richard dying from a car accident.
His wife was allegedly a bed freeze (according to the lying Herbert). But he got 4 children from her.
His daughters were kicked out of the church over the makeup doctrine.
Ted and Herb hated each other. Ted was kicked out only to create a rival church.
His second wife divorced him.
His grandsons disown him.
And tens of thousands of his spiritual children would piss on his grave is they are able to.
Jim
I can only speak of my experience in LCG so perhaps other ACOG groups are different (I hope).
I was in LCG for many years and grew to sincerely and whole-heartedly love many of my friends. We got married around the same time, had kids around the same time, lived our lives together and spent most of our recreational time together hanging out.
I thought it was all real. I was being real and I truly loved these people so I assumed that the same was true of them.
Wrong.
Now that I attend with a different group my LCG friends of nearly 15 years no longer associate with me. It has been devastating. If you would have warned me of this, I wouldn't have believed you.
I have reached out many times. Some don't reply at all. Some have said that they hope that cutting me off will make me miss LCG so much that I will correct my attitude and come back to LCG (so they are attempting to "save my salvation". Some say they WANT to hang out with me but they are afraid that Mr. McNair or Mr. Meredith would "find out" about it which would bring trouble upon them. And, perhaps scariest of all.... a couple of old LCG friends have told me that they want to be "pillars in God's Kingdom" and explained that if I wasn't supporting Mr. Meredith and the "work", our friendship was not working toward that eternal goal.
It's no wonder why people stay in LCG even though they have crazy doctrinal "upgrades", boring sermons and heavy-handed egotistical ministers. People have seen what the group does to those no longer in the group and it's a huge deterrent to would-be defectors.
I was disfellowshipped from LCG for silly reasons. I used to help take care of a widow who remains in LCG. She was a daily part of my life for years. We were like family.
After I was disfellowshipped she sent a letter stating that she loved me and was sad that she would "no longer be able to spend time" with me.
I couldn't believe it.
I ran into her about 18 months later at the grocery store and she cried. She shared how much she loves and misses me but said that she can't risk continuing our friendship because she's old and it would be too hard to make a new life if Rod Meredith ever found out that she was fellowshipping with me.
So, because of Rod Meredith, this elderly widow has no one to shovel her driveway, get her oil changed, change her air filters, take her to the Feast, take care of her, etc.
Because of Rod Meredith, the next time I see this lady, whom I love dearly, she will be lying in a coffin.
Rod Meredith is a destroyer of lives and families.
Rod Meredith is the OPPOSITE OF LOVE.
Speaking as someone who grew up in the WCG, I think the failure of members to visit someone in the hospital can probably be explained other than by assuming that all of the patient's friends were insincere and faithless. As someone else commented, a lot of COG members live long distances from each other, and are not used to socializing together outside of church. Making a hospital visit is inconvenient if the distance is long. Second, COG members are conditioned to "come out of the world and be separate," which causes them to unconsciously segregate their lives into two parts: six days in the world, followed by one day with the brethren on the Sabbath. Barring a church-sanctioned social event or holy day, COG members re-enter the world at sundown on Saturday night and mostly forget about their friends in the church until the next Sabbath. Not because they don't love them or care about them, but because their COG life and their workaday life in the world are separate. Third, the COG teaches that God is our healer, not doctors and hospitals. COG members would probably tend to believe they were doing the best thing they could for a fellow member by praying for them, not visiting them. Last, COG teaching concerning qualifying for the KOG by building divine character through obedience to the Law of God is inherently a self-centered approach to Christianity. Keeping the law (Sabbath, holy days, tithing, foods, etc.) are seen as the principal duties of a COG member, along with prayer and Bible study--not visiting the sick or helping others. At bottom, it is every man for himself in the COG. There is no belief or teaching that we are also responsible for one another.
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