The Doomsday Clock and the COG's

 

Why is it that so many Church of God groups get positively giddy every time someone mentions the Doomsday Clock? Their barely-concealed bloodlust for the total annihilation of the world around them is really just one more glowing neon sign screaming how utterly deceived they are. 

They desperately need cataclysmic death and destruction to finally roll in so all their laughably wrong predictions and deranged prophecies can be retroactively declared “right.” 

Nothing warms their little eschatological hearts like the thought of millions of men, women, and children being slaughtered, incinerated, and erased—finally, finally their big moment arrives: “Look at us! We told you so! Woo-hoo! High-fives all around in Petra while the planet burns!”

Truly the most humble and Christ-like crew out there.

Living Church of God had this up about the Doomsday Clock:

85 Seconds to Go! 

On Tuesday, January 27, the Doomsday Clock of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists was adjusted from 89 seconds to midnight to only 85 seconds—the closest it has ever been since these scientists first began reporting their opinion in 1947. This tool is used to represent how close they believe mankind is to destroying the world—the closer to midnight, the higher they believe the risk. Rather than a reduction of nuclear risks, 2025 saw the intensification of three regional conflicts, each involving foes with nuclear capabilities. All parties claim a willingness to pay any price to win.

Then, not to be outdone, our Infallible Crackpot Prophet and his trusty sidekick had to also weigh in with their usual useless megalomaniac blather:

CBS: Doomsday clock keeps ticking

Are we on the eve of destruction? Humankind has had the ability to annihilate itself for quite some time now. And there doesn’t seem to be a major drive by humanity to lower the risk. So, are we close? Is one or more of the nuclear powers ready to “pull the trigger”? Is climate change about to destroy us all? How about the imminent threat of ‘disinformation’? Will that be the cause of humanity’s extinction? Well, if the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists is asked that question, the answer is that we are closer to annihilation now than we have ever been in the past, and all three of those causes are contributing to the danger. What does the word of God say? Are there any events, revealed in the Bible, that must take place before “the end is near”? Yes. And Dr. Thiel uses the word of God to detail those events that are soon to take place. Those events prophesied in the Bible definitely do include wars. But they also include false prophets, famines, pestilences and persecutions. But when those events do take place, and they surely will, will that finally be the end of all humanity? Will Satan actually win in the end? Is the Great Tribulation the end of mankind or the beginning of a new kingdom; the millennial kingdom of God? Jesus did warn us not to be deceived by disinformation. He also encouraged us to properly watch, and pray, and live our life by His principals and commandments. Watch this video as Dr. Thiel shines the light of Biblical prophecy on the Doomsday Clock and current world events.

So there you have it, folks. While the so-called experts at the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists are wringing their hands over 85 seconds to midnight—the closest we've ever been, apparently—Dr. Thiel is here to set the record straight with the real clock: God's unbreakable prophetic timetable. Forget nuclear winter, climate doom, or sneaky disinformation campaigns; the Bible has the exclusive scoop on the wars, famines, pestilences, and persecutions that are definitely barreling toward us any day now (just like they've been "any day now" for decades).

But hey, chin up! The Great Tribulation isn't the end of humanity—it's just the dramatic opening act for the millennial kingdom, where everything finally gets fixed under divine management with Infallible Bob sitting at the right hand of Jesus. Satan doesn't win; he just gets a really long timeout.

So don't be deceived by all that secular fearmongering. Instead, watch, pray, obey the commandments... and of course, keep tuning in to Dr. Thiel's videos for the exclusive biblical decoder ring on why this time—this time for sure—the Doomsday Clock is basically just God's alarm clock going off.

Because nothing says "peace on earth" like excitedly cataloging every headline as proof the end is nigh.

Stay vigilant, brethren. The tribulation might start tomorrow... or in 2030... or whenever the next reset happens. But when it does, you'll know who called it first. Woo-hoo.