Oh, be still my beating heart—how utterly touching that our benevolent Armstrongite overlords have always felt the sacred duty to cradle their wide-eyed, intellectually challenged flock like helpless newborns who might choke on their own spit if left to read a Bible verse without a 12-page booklet, video, and a reprint article by their sides.
Because clearly, after decades of headquarters-approved booklets, co-worker letters, and multi-part sermon series hammering home the exact same points, what the poor sheep really need is yet another exhaustive rundown from the self-appointed Philadelphian prophet-in-chief. Why risk letting anyone accidentally form an independent thought when Bob can patiently explain—again—exactly how to be a "real" Christian?
Let's marvel at the exhaustive checklist he so graciously provides, lest any member accidentally stray into the terrifying wilderness of personal conscience:
Let's marvel at the exhaustive checklist he so graciously provides, lest any member accidentally stray into the terrifying wilderness of personal conscience:
- Who gets the Spirit of Christ? (Spoiler: only those properly submitted to the right government, of course—Bob's, naturally.)
- Saved by works? No, but...
- Rewarded according to works? Absolutely! (And don't you dare slack on those rewards-generating activities.)
- Is obedience a salvation issue? Oh honey, yes—because apparently grace is nice, but without perfect obedience to the full menu of doctrines, you're flirting with Laodicean lukewarmness and eternal barbecue.
- Imitating Jesus and Paul? By keeping the Ten Commandments (naturally), the biblical Holy Days(mandatory attendance or bust), tithing faithfully (multiple levels, mind you—first, second, third tithe, building fund, special offerings, because one just isn't enough to prove your devotion), avoiding astrology (duh), tattoos (pagan abomination), and improper hair length (because nothing screams "Christ-like" like a ruler-measured haircut).
- Love? Sure, but specifically Philadelphian love—which conveniently translates to supporting Bob's proclamation work (the "final phase" only he can lead, obviously), sending in those tithes, and helping poor brethren (preferably through channels that report back to headquarters for proper credit).
- Being 'ecumenically' separate? Translation: shun everyone not in the approved group—because mingling with other "so-called Christians" might contaminate your pure Philadelphian purity.
- Partial or total commitment? Total, baby—half-hearted won't cut it when your salvation hangs on checking every box.
- Lawlessness vs. professed belief? If you claim faith but skip a Holy Day or question the latest prophetic update from Africa, you're basically lawless and doomed.
- Real faith? The kind that obeys everything the ministry says, without question, because questioning = lack of faith.
Truly, what a tender mercy that Dr. Thiel doesn't trust us dim bulbs to read the Bible on our own and figure out love, obedience, and faith without his 47-point sermon outline. Without this loving, exhaustive oversight—complete with warnings that straying equals losing your eternal reward—who knows? We might accidentally stumble into something radical like trusting Christ's finished work or—gasp—developing a personal relationship with God instead of a mediated one through the approved hierarchy. The horror!
How ever, would we survive without such selfless, detailed shepherding? The horror of freedom!
The Great Bwana writes:How to Live as (a) Philadelphian ChristianHow is a Christian, a real Christian, supposed to live? What is a real Christian? Who is granted the Spirit of Christ? Are Christians saved by works? Are Christians rewarded according to their works? Is obedience to God a salvation issue? How do Christians imitate Jesus and the Apostle Paul? What about the Ten Commandments and the biblical Holy Days? What about tithes, astrology, tattoos, and hair length? What about love? What about Philadelphian love, supporting the proclamation work, and supporting poor brethren? What about being ‘ecumenically’ separate? Is being a Christian a partial or total commitment? What about lawlessness and professed belief? What about real faith? Dr. Thiel addresses these and more in this sermon.
4 comments:
Hands up who has a migraine with just the thought of reading, any commentary, from Dr Bob Thiel . My goodness the Armstrong cog movement is so divided, any credibility they had, and they had zero, has gone a missing long ago. And yet here today they keep on keeping on lol. Same old same old same old. Nothing to see here.
And that's the thing, that 3rd tithe is in the Mosaic Law. Abraham wasn't apart of that system. It is not in effect today. They just want more money, more money, more money.
Keerect, 8:02. The thing is, if one is teaching, it can easily be done without being so, well, condescending! Bob wants to be the big Kahuna. Those signals are coming in loud and clear! If Jesus and the Apostles' teaching style had been anything like Bob's, Christianity would never have gotten off the ground! And, it's not as if the other ACOG leaders are all that much better, they are not! It's just that Bob is about the worst example of the bunch. If he were even an effective bottom-feeder, more people from the other ACOGs would be joining him. They do not see any advantages that an arrogant, elitist, know it all would bring into what they see as their Christian lives!
Bobs church of crooked Kenyan Political grifters and womanizing witchcraft practitioners, are too much for the average Herbie worshipper
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