Its that time of year again. The Church of God's are eager to be washed clean for the start of another year. Some are claiming tonight (Sunday) is the REAL Passover night, others are claiming it is Monday night and a few others are claiming the REAL Passover is Tuesday night. Others have gotten so frustrated by it all that they will join with Messianic groups and do a REAL Passover Seder on Monday night and again on Tuesday.
In Armstrongism the Passover ended up being one of the most stressful times of year for most people. They never could get their homes or lives deleavened and they cringed at the thought of listing to to
ministers claim their breaking of the bread (amplified with a microphone) was Jesus' body being broken.
In Pasadena it was an exhausting task for Passover to roll around each year. Every frigging building had to be deleavened. Custodial had to deleaven ministers homes because they were to righteous to clean their own damn
Then the College gym, Imperial gym, Student Center, Hall of Ad, Handball courts and the Auditorium had to be set up for foot washing. Over 3,000 foot pans had to be set out in front of precisely lined rows of chairs. Large barrels of warm water with chlorine in them had to be filled and placed next to an empty barrel labeled "dirty water." Special reserved foot washing areas were set up for the ministers who's feet were too holy to be washed by disgusting, degenerate, uneducated, sinful lay-members. It was all so exhausting.
Hundreds of reserved signs had to be placed on rows of chairs for the ministers and their wives to sit in places of high authority. Boxes and boxes of matzohs opened and distributed on silver trays to the long tables on the stages covered in crisp starched white linen. Over 4,000 little plastic cups were hand filled with the driest Cabernet that that could be bought. Then these trays were stacked in huge stacks on the stage tables to glisten and shimmer in the light. It was all so exhausting
You had to stand watch at the doors of each building to make sure only the pure and holy COG members were in attendance. Not unwashed cretin from the world would be allowed.
Then you set there listening to numerous scriptures being read till it was time to wash feet. Deacons, Preaching and Local Elders were not blessed with special areas to wash feet in so they had to go along with the unwashed masses. You could see them scheming as they stood in line to see whose persons feet they would have to wash. Many would rearrange themselves so that they would not have to wash certain peoples feet.
After the foot washing was over you headed back for the breaking of the bread. This was the pinnacle of the nights service. Microphones were placed in front of the bread trays, with the sound turned up, as the bread was being broken. The ministers was sure to point out to you that YOU were responsible for
By the time the service was all over you were exhausted. What really meaningful thing could ever be taken away from such a BUSY day and night? Even being exhausted you at least reveled in the idea that we were "clean." All the crap you had done over the past year that you knew to be wrong was gone forever. It was a unique feeling and actually quit freeing.....until.....the next day when we found some leavening or you swore at a crazy driver or got angry at your spouse or your kids because they were making you late for Night to Be Much Observed. Then you were temped by some Easter candy and ate some when you thought no one was looking. Or, you ate that doughnut with out thinking. Damn it! Now you have to live with that SIN for the next year, never to have it forgiven till you came back into the gym to find
The problem with "Passover" in Armstrongism is that when you left the College gym you left
Now we are 80 some years into Armstrongism and 700 some different splinter groups have emerged. Everyone of them claiming to be the TRUE and only correct ones. They will start crucifying their
Then it is time to prepared for the Night To Be Much Observed. The women will cook and prepare all day for the evening meal with invited friends or a church potluck. Seeds of bitterness and envy will already be popping into CLEAN minds because they are getting tired and are exhausted. Then they will get angry when an invited guests shows up without any food or brings some questionable casserole. Damn it! There goes that clean and refreshed feeling. They are exhausted and cant wait for the evening to be over. Then they have to clean up after the ungrateful church members left without helping to wash the dishes. Anger sets in. Its midnight and you need to get to bed because you know you need to be in EARLY tomorrow to set up for the first day of Unleavened Bread. You are exhausted just thinking about it! Its all so exhausting.
You get up at the break of dawn, get the kids showered and dressed. You cook a big breakfast because you know the minister is going to preach FOREVER! Then you pile the kids in the car and drive an hour on a work day with unconverted cretins clogging up the freeway. You get angry. You arrive late for services and then are told they need you to help set up the next room for the potluck. You spend the entire service getting the food ready, tasting weird looking food to see if it is safe to put out. You read all the labels to make sure no leavening is present. Scores of tables and chairs need to be set up and table cloths spread. Even though the sermon is being played over the speakers, you cannot listen, you are too busy and besides, its probably boring as hell because you have heard the same thing for the last 30 years.
Then you hear the closing hymn and think, DAMN IT! all the foods not out! There is a mad rush of exhausted women scrambling to get everything out. You do not have time to really sit down and eat with your friends because you need to keep replenishing the buffet line. You will get to eat the crumbs and left-overs as you take everything back to wash before the next service starts in an hour.
Its a mad rush as you head into the meeting room and grab a seat in the back. Services start and some visiting evangelist starts droning on and on and on and on. You start nodding off. Its all so exhausting. You cant wait to get in the car to head home even though you know it will be well over two hours because of evening rush hour traffic. Its all so exhausting.
Armstrongism....its all so exhausting.
32 comments:
Religious holidays of ANY faith are exhausting times for people , ESPECIALLY for WOMEN.
In general, we are the ones who are preparing and cleaning home, preparing the meals, and doing the "family niceties" like sending out invites, and keeping track of guest lists, preferences etc.
I do not think that the "burden" for COG women is much worse than those of women preparing for xmas, or easter or Thanksgiving. Im sure Jewish women stress and feel exhausted by Hanukkah or the Passover as well. Islamic women are overworked and burdened by the closing celebration of Ramadan, and also by Eid al-Adha
which is a full 3 day celebratory event.
Life is about living, and there is plenty of time to "rest in the grave". Yes, celebrations and memorials are exhausting, but IMHO, worth doing, especially one that honors our Savior, who exhausted and gave so much of himself for us.
Well said! I was exhausted too. I hated this itme of year. Now I don't need to worry about this kind of silliness.
As I was reading this, memories from decades ago came flooding back. And you know what? As exhausting as it is to orchestrate carefully picked and chosen elements from an Old Covenant ritual today, just imagine the incredible back breaking work involved in the sacrifices which were an integral part of all of the holy days in the times before Jesus Christ fulfilled them! Cooking food purchased at the supermarket is nothing compared to the slaughter of actual animals, the preparation of meal offerings, and drink offerings.
I've commented from time to time about the wonderful Catholic family that was so influential in making me realize that faith brought good things into a person's life, that families could be happy, supportive places where unconditional love was expressed, and that marriages could actually work. And, I've got an appropriate little gem to share from back then! In the shop area, my boss's son was regaling us with a battle story about a sale he had recently won from one of our competitors who happened to be of the Jewish persuasion. Now, I have always loved Jewish people, cause they were the ones who saved my social life in high school, and I remember saying, "Wow, Eddie, you really don't trust Jewish people, do you?" But he made me laugh when he said, "Bob, how could you possibly trust anyone who only goes to confession once a year???" That was his perspective, and I'll leave it up to the reader to decide if it's legit.
BB
Connie: I agree rituals/celebrations and memorials are worthy keeping. However Armstrongism never honored our Savior. It could not even talk about him. Jesus is not exhausting. He is freeing. Armstrongism is exhausting.
NO2HWA:
Thanks for the well written and thoughtful article capturing the WCG atmosphere of the spring Holy Day season.
After 80 years, the results of Armstrongism fits well with my personal definition of poverty - a lot of effort with little results.
And yes, the WCG experience was exhausting for members in general - physically and financially. You forgot to mention the spring Holy Day offerings which the WCG relied on to tide the endless money pit monster over until the fall Feast of Tabernacles. And more than likely, the typical WCG member drove two hours to services in a car that had bald tires and sounded like the transmission is about to go. No money available for maintaining the family car when there are kids to feed/clothe and blood sucking leeches sucking the financial life out of the typical WCG member - 1st tithe, 2nd tithe, 3rd tithe, Holy Day offerings, Special Offerings, and the all important building fund contributions even though the Church taught "time is short" and Christ's return was soon.
Yes, after 80 years of Armstrongism, a lot of effort was expended with little to no results. It was all the work of a man made religion while The Deity didn't give a rats ass about leaven bread crumbs stuck in a crack or HWA's pronouncements that the end is near and time is short.
Richard
excellent article, written from the perspective of someone who didn't want to be there (unconverted).....
those called into the Church don't mind the 'work' involved in the spring holy days, (or the summer, or fall) we look forward to it.
Yes I thought it was all really ironic that so much focus was preached about deleavening/unleavenening our homes, cars, etc., that most people only got THAT message.
They still acted like the same jackasses they were before the Passover, after the Passover...here I am judging.
I remember one older man would tell me he had his apartment cleaned a month before(paid someone else to clean it), and when he ate his meal after the cleaning he would stand over the sink so the crumbs wouldn't get to the rest of his apartment, lolll
This is the same guy that sold a lady in our same congregation his car because the back floor board would get wet. Of course he didn't tell her this was the reason he was selling it and getting a new one. I remember her complaining to me about it thinking he purposely did this because she was black. Might have been so, but she didn't DARE confide to the >GREAT GODS< (MINISTERS) about it. for >FEAR< of disfellowshipping. So much for everything Jesus Christ!
If you read Exodus 12, you will see that the Days of Unleavened Bread begin at Passover on the evening of the 14th. If you don't get it and you Armstrongists don't get it because you misread Leviticus 23, then you can just go over to:
Ezekiel 45:21 In the first month, in the fourteenth day of the month, ye shall have the passover, a feast of seven days; unleavened bread shall be eaten.
Of course this doesn't help you with the Lord's Supper which Christ kept with his disciples on the evening of the 13th Day of the First Month.
So all of the Cult of Herbert Armstrong Mafia have kept the wrong days of unleavened bread from the very beginning and are completely wrong, regardless of which calendar they use.
This misses the fact that Herbert Armstrong committed incest with his daughter for the first 10 years of his ministry. Picture it: Every Passover, he's going through the physical ritual partially Bronze Age and partly Iron Age, to hypocritically participate in drinking (he was also a drunk) wine to his own destruction (if his theories were right). And then the ultimate insult to sing Psalm 51!
The reason there was so much focus on the physical is that the founder, Herbert Armstrong, did not have anything remotely like a spiritual life. After reviewing how to spot a psychopath, I'm leaning more and more to the thought that he was one. Whether or not he was, it is damnable that the membership gave him a free pass in his heinous reprehensible acts to declare him a great man.
It's no wonder it was stressful: It was all the wrong stuff, not really connected to Christianity in any way because of someone with Satanic tendencies running the whole thing.
Jesus took the bread and the fruit of the vine (we can have a discussion about wine later) as symbols and gave the only real command: Do this in remembrance of me. Who do we it remembrance of to keep the Passover and the Days of Unleavened Bread with the Night to Be Much Observed (except by Gentiles)? Herbert Armstrong. You keep the Passover every year to celebrate and remember Herbert Armstrong, not Jesus.
Amazing.
Disgusting.
Hearken back to the words of Lieutenant Columbo:
Whenever I'm confused, it's because someone is lying to me.
As a pre teen in the 60's, I remember all the boogedy boo about the Passover. You weren't allowed to fellowship, or smile on that night. It was so quiet it was uncomfortable. It was like a secret society ceremony....hell, it WAS a secret society ceremony! Every year the minister would graphically tell how Christ was flogged in every minute detail. In the beginning, children were not allowed to witness the ritual, we had to stay in a hot, over crowded room stuffed with babies and kids. Later on in the 70's, we were allowed to listen to the sermon, but not partake in the foot washing. You had to be baptized to take the matzoh and thimble full of wine. Much later on, as an adult, I couldn't figure out why it was only a solemn celebration. Christ was resurrected after all, he died for us! I always thought THAT was a cause for unbounded happiness! But no, we shuffled in, mumbled a hymn and shuffled out. So sad.
Thank 'god' for cognitive dissonance. No matter how much you may try to ignore it, when things don't add up to the total you're told by 'divine' decree they MUST add up to, that part of you that tells something is very wrong doesn't ever go away. It's always there, waiting for you to pay attention to it. It never gives up.
And at no time of year does that cognitive dissonance become louder for an Armstrongist then at Passover/UB. All the dirty politics that goes on inside these groups, the battles that are fought over envy, ego, pride, status, greed, and other things the men so busily enganged in these things would tell you are "vanity." You would think that at this time of year, they would at least take a break, stop lying for a moment, put down the hatchet, and repent.
But not so. In fact, it's the best time for an all-out offensive.
These guys will deleaven their homes, 'examine themselves' (aparently without finding anything), take communion, participate in footwashing, and forego leavened bread for a week, all as symbols or 'reminders' of the principles they're supposed to be living by and putting into practice. And they will make an outward show of participating in these symbols while in the midst of the most ruthless, Machiavellian battles. The fact they're living in an unleavened house and eating unleavened bread doesn't even slow down the rate at which they're stabbing people in the back over who gets to claim the status-symbol-du-jour. If anything, this is the time of year to step up the war, because in a moment of weakness, your opponent just might emulate Jesus for a couple of days, and that's the perfect time to crucify him. All that matters is who WINS, not how or when, because the sheep will always follow the WINNER.
Repentance? Jesus? Who is he?
The level of hypocrisy is staggering. Why do these guys even bother going through the symbolic motions if they're not even the LEAST interested in putting into the practice the things those symbols represent? Why not leave and go pursue careers in secular corporate America where they can play the game of politics without having to be a hypocrite?
They'll tell you that he who wants to be the greatest in the kingdom should become the least, the servant of all, even when they've spent a lifetime acting out a heretical theology that says the one who will be the greatest in the kingdom will be the one who is greatest in the 'government of god.'
And as Richard Carrier says, if there was one 'god,' from the earliest people to be 'in contact' with this deity, to the present, he would be clear and unambiguous about what he wanted us to do. Everyone would always get the same answer. There wouldn't be ambiguity about whether the day 'god' wanted people to keep the passover on was Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday. And there wouldn't be ambiguity about whether the most greedy and ambitious should try to become masters or servants.
"Is It Passover Tonight, Or.... is It Monday Night, Or...... is It Tuesday Night? Its All So Exhausting!"
Personally, I'd just go with the way Herbert W. Armstrong taught it.
The numerous rebels who come up with other ideas have not clearly proven HWA wrong, since they obviously cannot agree with each other either. The great variety of contradictory ideas suggests that it is demonic influence--and not the Holy Spirit--behind all of their own exhausting "calendar confusion."
Most of these same leader wannabes had probably never even heard about the Hebrew calendar or the biblical annual Holy Days until HWA mentioned them. Now, these same people disagree with various details that HWA taught about them, and also disagree with each other. If you really want never-ending exhaustion, just try to listen to this legion of kooks--inspired by a legion of demons--who each wants to come up with his own pet theory.
Coming up with a bunch of false witnesses who all contradict each other does not disprove what HWA taught.
You would have to be living in the same time zone as Israel (UTC + 03) to keep the holy days and sabbaths correctly anyway. Only one of the reasons why the old covenant is not relevant to gentile Christians.
Corky said...
"You would have to be living in the same time zone as Israel (UTC + 03) to keep the holy days and sabbaths correctly anyway."
Alas, that is merely your own opinion, just one opinion of many, many opinions.
Why don't you try to tell the Catholic church that you would have to be living in the same time zone as the Vatican in Italy to keep Sunday, Christmas, Easter, and Halloween "correctly" as you would say? Or, are you just trying to argue that it is impossible to observe anything biblical?
Many Jews and COG people around the world observe the Holy Days and Sabbaths when these days come to them, as the earth rotates.
Coming up with a bunch of false witnesses who all contradict each other does not disprove what HWA taught.
The issue is not whether "what HWA taught" is proven or disproven. It's whether what he taught was direct from Jesus, as he said it was. The source is the first thing to be proven or disproven.
The fact that while HWA claims Jesus was revealing all this stuff to him (including how God wants everyone to surrender 10-20% of their income to him) he was in the middle of a ten year long spree of incestuous pedophilia absolutely disproves and invalidates the idea that HWA ever received any revelation direct from Jesus, as he claimed. If HWA taught something and it happened to be right it's definitely not because God was the source of it. No one else needs to disprove anything HWA taught. HWA did that himself. What would need to be proven is that a sex offender and con artist like HWA ever taught anything that turned out to be correct. Because we shouldn't take the word of a such a vile individual as though he were some sort of authority. If he was ever right about anything, it's simply because of dumb luck.
What you just described in this posting is exactly what my mother is doing right now. She has killed her self all week deleavning. She is exhausted and is now trying to prepare for UCG's Passover service. Then she will spend the next day cooking tons of food for a NTBMO meal. Then she has to haul it to the place she is going. She will get home late and have to get up early the next morning to help set up UCG's meeting hall and prepare for their potluck meal. She will come home exhausted. What a waste of time it really all is.
Hope everyone had a Great Night To Be Much Observed!
I know this is a well-trod point, but if your god would send someone to the lake of fire for not de-leavening well enough, hes a serious jackass who doesnt deserve worship. -RSK
The holy days where always exhausting for me. I am not a social person although I felt pressured to be so. I looked forward to going home when it was all done but felt guilty also because I felt I was spiritualy weak because I didn't fit-in socially. I am sooooo glad that I don't have to pretend anymore and can be myself and not worry about being condemned. I am sure that there are many others unfortunately still enslaved in Armstrongism that are like me. I feel bad for them. I wish they could be free.
Anon @ 6:44. Unconverted???? What a pile of hogshit! That's your throwaway condemnation to anyone who doesn't agree with your demented cult anymore. When are you going to wake up and see there is nothing Godly about what the so called ministers you follow preach?
Anon @ 6:44. Unconverted???? What a pile of hogshit! That's your throwaway condemnation to anyone who doesn't agree with your demented cult anymore. When are you going to wake up and see there is nothing Godly about what the so called ministers you follow preach?
Is it just me, or does it seem a little too convenient that a bunch of anonymous people would spontaneously appear to confront us with exaggerated versions of the Armstrongite point of view during the Old Covenant spring holy day season?
I'd just like to go on record to say that I don't believe these anonymi are followers of HWA or splinter group members at all. We've probably got some trolls hanging out, just trying to get a reaction. The stupid things being said are probably all written by one person who with a slightly different style and in a perverse sort of way is also doing his own stellar job of making Armstrongism appear ridiculous.
We applaud you, brother!
BB
And that there's no such thing as "conversion" either, for another thing.
Here's a poem. Enjoy.
Sonnet for a Passover's Eve
Here's to your Passover, that Old Testament way,
Can't speak for the ancients, but it makes no sense today.
It shouldn't have been, but it was my first clue,
Conversion's not real, so the bible's not true!
Perv & Co. said that god'll get mad so you better obey,
But his god wasn't watching, and now, neither are they!
By the way, here's 613 hoops to jump through,
Damned later if you don't, but now if you do!
Time we knew it's nothing a real god would say,
And that Herb only said it to make us all pay!
Could have been a good life if you were high as a kite,
Or had no conscience to keep you up during the night.
One thing's for sure, it was a good living,
Growing rich on the back of poor people's giving.
BB: I don't know if it is a troll or not. These current ones are not the regular trolls that I delete. Those impotent little men are racists, anti-Semites and homophobes. They are probably trying to compensate for their small dicks. Who knows
Well, Gary, it could also be the Kitchen family, or one or more of Eric's special ladies. They surely don't help their cause, though, throwing out a bunch of ACOG shibboleths. Trolls can be entertaining once in a while.
BB
Did the WCG collect an "offering" on their P'over service? I never attended one, was too young.
RSK- They generally reserved the offerings for holy days. I never quite understood why Passover was not considered a holy day, but it was not. They had a weird amalgam of original Old Covenant practices, with supposedly New Covenant meanings superimposed over them. HWA put it together, which is why we call this stuff Armstrongism.
BB
"I know this is a well-trod point, but if your god would send someone to the lake of fire for not de-leavening well enough, hes a serious jackass who doesnt deserve worship." -RSK
Don't apologize for treading on the point once more, RSK. In fact, go ahead and absolutely stomp on it.
The deeper we make the impression, the more people will notice it.
In a way in seems closer to the JW's Memorial.
Perhaps the Ministry of the COGs could take some quality time and ask themselves if the person of a Moses or the tales of the Exodus ever actually existed or happened. That would pretty much solve the problem.
The real evidence for such Biblical stories puts them clearly in the mythic pedigree building camp of a small cultic people by unnamed priests writing in the 7th century BCE from their captivity.
It is impossible to put together a coherent chronology of the various "Passover" accounts in the Gospels. James Tabor admitted to me a few days ago that why Matthew, Mark and Luke place the "cleansing of the temple" in the final days of Jesus life, while John 2 places it at the very beginning of the Jesus story eludes him.
The simple answer is that stuff is being made up and each author did not read the other authors story. This is obvious in Jesus birth and Death stories as well.
The Apostle Paul claims to have gotten his version directly from Jesus but we know that was not personally but through the visions in his head.
On top of that, eating the flesh and drinking the blood of the godman is a very old motiff and predates Christianity by thousands of years. It's what you do when you find a god and he demands you become like him. It all smacks of canabalism.
The arguments over Passover are endless and will never be resolved. Simply endless....
In my past, I had church types we stand taking the symbols as that's what the bible said. We needed to be ready to go. Others had different dates and times and practices. What was leaven? Do we clean my business? What to do, what to do...endless waste of time and energy
If there is a Deity that cares, I 'd suggest it learn to communicate more clearly and directly cutting out all the middlemen
Yes, the Bible overflows with exaggerations.
Moses, if he existed, was probably only a minor desert warlord.
Anonymous said...
"Is It Passover Tonight, Or.... is It Monday Night, Or...... is It Tuesday Night? Its All So Exhausting!"
Personally, I'd just go with the way Herbert W. Armstrong taught it.
The numerous rebels who come up with other ideas have not clearly proven HWA wrong, since they obviously cannot agree with each other either. The great variety of contradictory ideas suggests that it is demonic influence--and not the Holy Spirit--behind all of their own exhausting "calendar confusion."
Most of these same leader wannabes had probably never even heard about the Hebrew calendar or the biblical annual Holy Days until HWA mentioned them. Now, these same people disagree with various details that HWA taught about them, and also disagree with each other. If you really want never-ending exhaustion, just try to listen to this legion of kooks--inspired by a legion of demons--who each wants to come up with his own pet theory.
Coming up with a bunch of false witnesses who all contradict each other does not disprove what HWA taught.
April 14, 2014 at 12:51 PM
So was HWA "Right" or was Hwa "Wrong" in your expert opinion?
PDF]
Malachi's Message 1990 Version - The Plain Truth About ...scroll down to bottom of page 12...
pcog.info/Literature/Malachis Message 1990 Version.pdf
Gerald Flurry seems to base his whole "prophet thing" on Revelation 10:11. But Herbert W. Armstrong says he already fulfilled that commission to "PROPHESY AGAIN"
I guess this is why Gerald Flurry told everyone to throw away old books and booklets...LOLLL
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