Our very own Zealot and wannabe church of "god" leader, James Malm, has told his tens of followers that all of the self-isolating Church of God members around the world who are following government guidelines during the coronavirus pandemic are turning from obedience to God to the comfort of their families.
29 Mar: With increased testing the numbers of US positives for Covid-19 have risen past 100,000. The number of cases is likely to continue a sharp rise for the next three to six weeks before leveling off. Most of the brethren instead of turning to obedience to God are predictably seeking comfort from their families, friends in the church and their church social circle. This epidemic should begin to stabilize in late May and then taper off by July. That does not mean that the problem has gone away since the virus has spread widely throughout the nation and is highly likely to reassert itself during the next winter: The next time making scores of millions of American’s ill and killing large numbers. Because of this epidemic the looming Mideast war may be delayed until summer.The above idiotic comment pales in comparison to what follows:
I have heard that some people have fought over bathroom tissue in stores. Brethren remember what your wife does when the baby is soiled; she takes a designated face cloth wets it and washes her child. That is exactly what people did for their own personal hygiene for thousands of years until tissue came in vogue in the early 20th century. Toilet tissue is unnecessary and most certainly not worth fighting over, all we need do is wash.I guess we should expect something like this from a guy who rarely ventures outside his apartment and spends the entire day parked at his kitchen table with his Strong's Exhaustive Concordance and other books as he cranks out one convoluted Biblical interpretation after another while begging for money to support his prediction addiction and zealotry habit.
22 comments:
Malm is nutty for pushing his preferences on other people, but as far as his specific preference, he's not wrong.
It's not very hygienic to just rub your poop around your butt with a piece of paper before pulling up your pants and going back to your business. This is why the bidet is so popular in Europe, and why many cultures take it for granted that after you poop you must wash your butt-hole. Of course, if you are going to wash your butt-hole, you can very easily use a washcloth which immediately goes into your laundry-pile, where it is cleaned and sanitized before you use it again. This isn't the standard in North America, but it's a common practice around the world, and is in fact more hygienic than the typical American butt-smear.
I'm affraid James Malm is dead right about this important issue of wiping ones butt.
Indonesian people are abhorred when they learn about white people smeering poop over their behind with a paper. They use water to wash their behinds.
Since Malm believes COG and Islam are related he might introduce not giving a handshake with yur "unclean hand" which is the hand that is used to wipe the butt.
Over and out commander nck vs corona and the invisible hand
Malm notes: " Most of the brethren instead of turning to obedience to God are predictably seeking comfort from their families, friends in the church and their church social circle. "
Which is , of course, where normal humans turn in time of need. James, the reason it is predictable is because it is normal. The "instead of obedience to God" thing is a dead end. No help will be ever forthcoming from magical thinking and beliefs.
How do you think the second-century AD Romans felt when they saw the rabble turning away from obedience to Jupiter and Juno? As their Empire crumbled, most ordinary Romans sought comfort from their families and friends, as well as foreign gods, instead of obeying their gods and following the faith of their fathers.
Malm now knows how it felt to be an ancient Roman.
Some people say "BIDEN 2020"
I say "BIDET 2020". !
Saves a lot of hassle with the toilet paper hassle/hoarding for sure!
Wouldn't normal Christians be at the forefront of helping others through the pandemic? Like by sharing food, supplies, and information, and perhaps encouraging others around one? In fact, I am certain that there are community-minded non-christians who would be doing these same things as well.
But, no! In James Malm's distorted view, a true Christian will remain a separatist, not contaminating himself by associating with "worldly" types, even in time of crisis. Many Christians believe that at times of great stress, a Christian's example makes others want to become Christian.
Over the years, I've come to realize that a natural asshole will remain an asshole no matter what he or she does in such areas as personal hygeine. That condition is just an inborne factor which overrides all other facets of existence. For some reason, Armstrongism does seem to attract a large number of flaming assholes. That religion allows them to continue to just be themselves, and to think of themselves as even being the righteous few.
BB
This James Malm sounds like a freaking tool. Does he actually have a following? I bet he's one of the toilet paper hoarders.
Craig
But do those Indonesian people understand that most "white" people bathe/shower every day?
km
9:20
Look km my comment was not a scientific thesis. It's a mix of "funny" and "fact". Perhaps an Aussie would not bite. I don't know.
Take care and remember..... wash your hands often......please.
Nck
Anon March 29, 2020 at 7:22 AM
Washing machine with plenty of soap does NOT sterilize you laundry.
W.
Speaking just for myself and as a long time reader and occasional commenter here on Banned, I can honestly and laughingly ask Gary, "Why are you posting this Malm $hit?" :)
Richard
FWIIW, I mentioned to my wife, who has delivered four children, James Malm's advice of: "...Brethren remember what your wife does when the baby is soiled; she takes a designated face cloth wets it and washes her child. That is exactly what people did for their own personal hygiene for thousands of years until tissue came in vogue in the early 20th century. Toilet tissue is unnecessary and most certainly not worth fighting over, all we need do is wash."
She thought about it and then said: "If all one need do is wash, then what? Air-dry?"
John
It's not only Indonesians, it's an Asian thing that's why it's considered rude to shake hands with your left hand. As for taking a bath, you would be surprised how many times some Asians, especially those who live in the tropics, take a bath in a single day. I'm sure for some of you Farangs, who visited Thailand, know this :)
Haters gotta hate.
Some of us white people were taught to look at the paper after each wipe. When the paper stays white, you're done.
I can see where the Indonesian wash cloth might work better for people with hemorrhoids, or a delicate anus, though. Kinda tough to carry a washcloth with you whenever you're outside of your home.
BB
You should also add to this post the video by Conan O’brien about finding things in the house you can use as toilet paper. How about the never read LCG booklets. Finally Rod Meredith has been helpful to the church.
BB said:
Over the years, I've come to realize that a natural asshole will remain an asshole no matter what he or she does in such areas as personal hygeine. That condition is just an inborne factor which overrides all other facets of existence. For some reason, Armstrongism does seem to attract a large number of flaming assholes.
You just defined all of Armstrongism BB, and for that I salute you sir. One of the best ever comments on Banned and it should be high-lighted.
LXX
How about the never read LCG booklets
Not ones with glossy pages. The old R/WCG rags were better, particularly the lengthy HWA member letters.
I was a tour guide in an old house where a doctor kept a box of pieces of wool - straight off the sheep. I'd heard that in Biblical times smooth stones were used, which would make Goliath's death even more embarrassing to the Philistines...
The "crunchy mama" crowd in America still do this. They call it "family cloth". :)
The more Malm posts the more I understand why his wife left him. What a sick controlling guy he is. Imagine being married to him!
Concerning the matter of thy royal bottom: The only sure way to be separated from the unclean is to first wipe with pink toilet tissue. Then remove thyself to thy bidet and after a warm spray, squirt with rose water. Dry in the sun. Finally, dab with a personal temple oil as approved by Moses.
Psalms 45.8 (KJV)
All thy garments smell of myrrh, and aloes, and cassia
Remember also to keep a Sabbath’s walk distance from the Hittites who would pollute your graciousness.
My last ex-wife's family had a problem with uncontrollable flatulence. Her uncle would considerately tell my son to step in front of him whenever he realized in advance that a pocket of gas was going to have its way with his intestines. I'm thinking that there are just some people whose wiping habits would not make a difference one way or the other in their personal odor quotas.
On the other hand, Red Fox had a comedy routine called "You Gotta Wash Yor Ass!" (it's on the album with a picture of Red scrubbing down a donkey).
BB
Post a Comment