Well, boys and girls, it is another fun day in COG LaLa Land. If you dared to think that our highly esteemed self-appointed prophet Bob Thiel was batshit crazy, get a load of our OTHER true prophet. No, it's not Flurry, Pack, or Weinland but it is Tony Roach.
He has some new entries up on his Facebook page where he lays out the plan for the end times for all of us who do not heed his words. When. you think about it, he is exactly like Bob Thiel. Both have outlandish dreams and visions. Both claim to be the one true prophet to the church. Both claim they are ignored. Both claim to have the final truth. Both know when the end is to arrive. Both claim to be successors of Herbert Armstrong. Both claim to speak with the authority of God. Both have self-appointed themselves.
Please allow me to introduce myself...I AM Who I AM...I am No One... When you hear No One knows the date... They speak of me... When you hear trust No One they speak of me...I am a Seer by the Grace of God...I was called at the age of 27 at Armstrong's death to be Armstrong's successorThe baton was passed to me after Armstrong's death by My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ... As in all eras before me... God chooses whom He will...God started pouring wisdom and knowledge into me as though I was an empty vase after Armstrong's death... I watched... And I waited... By doing so I was able to foretell 9/11 years in advance and give the exact date... Also I was able to foretell the sell of the WWCOG and give the exact date by counting the days of Daniel as Jesus told us to do...I told you who the UFOs are and were... Who else could do that?... NO ONE... I've shown you the Kingdom of God is on the Sun... Who else could do that... No One... I've shown you the Spring Harvest of Souls (AKA The Rapture) past in 2020... Who could do that... No One could do that... I've given you the date of "The day of the Lord"... Who could do that NO One... I've shown you many things NO ONE could show you by the POWERS OF GOD.... And I will show you more...I speak with the authority of God... I NEVER assume anything... I never guess... I prove ALL things and I search the scriptures daily and have since I was a young boy...The night before 9/11, I began pacing the floors around midnight... Around 3am I found myself outside looking up to the sky... I saw a planet I thought it was descending on earth... It looked as though it was made of roots wrapped around itself and dirt... On the bottom was a bigger root that branched off into a "Y"... I ran in the house screaming He's here He's here and I suddenly came out of a trance or something because I was still pacing the living room floor... This bothered me for a while so I just thought it was the new Jerusalem descending on earth spoken of in the Bible... Until I saw the UFO 25 times the size of earth captured on video by NASA coming out of the sun on June 27, 2020 to gather the few elect and the dead in Christ... Who will return with Jesus on Sept 28, 2031 for "The Dreadful Day of the Lord"... I thought it was a planet I was seeing the night before 9/11... It was so big... But now I know...After 9/11 I couldn't understand why I was the only one that new what I knew... I had to know why... One morning I was driving down Back Beach Road about 55-60 miles an hour... As I was driving I shut my eyes and said a simple prayer... Before I shut my eyes I looked and there were no cars on the road coming or going... My prayer went like this... "Dear Heavenly Father... I've got to know am I the chosen one for this era... Please Dear Heavenly Father I have to know NOW!... Please Dear Heavenly Father I ask in Jesus name, Amen"... Then I opened my eyes I was still going around 55mph... There was a truck in front of me about three feet from my front bumper also going about 55mph and across his back windshield was written "The Chosen One"... Flipped me out for sure... My exact words...
20 comments:
This guy is batshit crazy.
Jim-AZ
Oh yeah, the guy that's addicted to ellipsis.
That's weird. I had exactly the same experience myself.
Will the insanity ever end?
There was a truck in front of me about three feet from my front bumper also going about 55mph and across his back windshield was written ...
"My Daughter Was Inmate of the Month at the New Mexico Woman's Correctional Facility"
ALSO...
I was called at Armstrong's death to be Armstrong's successor to all the assets of the WCG, but not to help out its members.
(Oh wait, Joey and the gang beat me to that! )
Sincerely , Prophet Tonto
It's not very comforting to realize that while I'm out driving there are other drivers closing their eyes while driving toward me at 60 miles per hour.
One thing we can say for him. At least he looks cool. In fact, when everybody was going crazy back when 1975 was coming apart, this is one guy who would have been real interesting to have over at one of the church pot parties. There were some guys back then who actually got really deeply into the Bible while stoned, in addition to the wannabe musicians who played air guitar while listening to the James gang, the karate guys who would put on exhibitions with their nun chucks, the joker who would roll up some chives and pass them to someone who was already too stoned just to freak him out, and of course not to forget the guy who would put his arms out like wings and pretend to be flying amongst the guests.
Of course, none of that was of any lasting value, except to help mainstream (in keeping with the standards of that era) people who were coming down from Armstrongism. And, yeah, it was batshit crazy time, but our still batshit crazy friend Tony would have fit right in back then in ways that Dave Pack, Bob Thiel and Gerald Weston couldn't imagine. He's got about as much chance of being listened to by the unchurched Armstrongites as Bob Thiel, Ron Weinland, Dave Pack, Jon Frisbee, David Hulme, Mark Armstrong, or Tom Mahon.
There were some guys back then who actually got really deeply into the Bible while stoned, in addition to the wannabe musicians
You might have partied with David Koresh!
Wait a minute...the rapture occurred and this guy, who gives crazy a whole new meaning, was LEFT BEHIND? God's last apostle/prophet/seer/no one is still here?
Didn't quite think that one through, did you crazy dude?
Can Armstrongism get any crazier? These guys are starting to make the Mormons, JWs and SDAs look almost normal. Well, not really, but this is beyond words. Mental health is taking a beating in these groups.
When I was at AC decades ago, this kinda fellow was simply and swiftly marched off campus. In fact, one day I was walking toward Mayfair and was surprised to see one of the more famous Ambassadors of today, also being marched off campus. You would probably be surprised if I told you who he was. Surrounded by ministers and older students he had no way to go except the direction they were marching him, with arms held on both sides.
What strikes me in the wrong way is that the posters here, including Gary, can only blame HWA. A mindset that gets very old after a while.
Don’t people know that virtually every large well known religious group attracts folks like this guy. Why doesn’t anyone here ever do some research beyond their favorite dead horse to beat?
What was done in those days was to ignore the kooks, get them off campus, or out of the church group, and go on with life.
Today, it seems just the opposite. I.e., leave the church then bitch and moan, never grow up, and blame all the kooks that come along to get attention, on the church you left.
Seems to me to be an addiction. Oh, it is an addiction. Maybe needs counseling from the diploma packing psychiatrist and psychologist with foreign accents and weird looks.
These “kooks” just want attention and this site gives them plenty. Ergo, they will keep on doing what they do best, get attention from the addicted to complaining to justify one’s own failures. Hmmm, two peas in a pod — kooks and complainers.
A happy partnership, don’t you think?
Well damn! That's the key to getting knowledge and understanding.......tailgating! Tonto, don't tailgate.
There's a problem knowing which group these names are referring to. How about a basic link when you talk about an obscure group.
And you do mightily misuse the word "lying".
I think that him and his family were once part of the PCG? Correct me if I am wrong.
Sounds like a Heaven's Gage type message that he received. A spacecraft behind a comet coming to take his chosen people away. If this guy has any followers, I would be concerned for their safety.
We blame HWA most profusely because we want to keep him cancelled. No lying is required to do that because the truth is bad enough. I 'll continue to point out his errors and defects, and the bad effects his applied religious philosophy has on all participants for as long as people continue to worship him, or until I die.
If you're wondering how a nut like Roach can get the attention of Armstrongists, consider his competition. This week, for example, we finally learned that LCG is officially for the birds.
What would HWA have thought of that? Would he be jelly?
4.24 pm, the Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses and other denominations have dissident sites similar to this one. People that have been members of these cults never fully recover.
HWA established a church run along cult lines, knowing full well that it's condemned in the bible. He deserves the strongest condemnation.
Tony Roach is not a true prophet. Just look at the picture. His hair is too long.
5:15, how do you know that he hasn't taken a Nazirite vow?
DW (Wednesday, January 18, 2023 at 3:08:00 PM PST) said...
...These guys are starting to make the Mormons, JWs and SDAs look almost normal."
You can never make Mormonism look normal to me with their Masonic rituals; polygamy and eternal marriages that continue on into the next life; that if you are faithful to Mormon doctrine you'll become a God and have your own world to rule and populate; that the Native Americans are descended from Israel and Jesus post-resurrection visited the Americas; etc For me it's like the science fiction that is Scientology and nothing more than a pseudo-Christian cult. And after watching Under the Banner of Heaven and A Friend of the Family recently it's only confirmed to me even more how crazy these cults are!
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