Introduction: A Shocking Revelation About Armstrongism
For decades, Herbert W. Armstrong railed against the "pagan" practices of the world, claiming his Worldwide Church of God was the only bastion of pure, untainted truth. He called Christmas a solstice festival, Easter a fertility rite, and Sunday worship a sun-god conspiracy, all while positioning himself as God’s apostle, free from the world’s satanic influences. But what if Herbert’s own empire was the most pagan of all? In a stunning twist, we’ve uncovered the trueorigins of Armstrongism, hidden in plain sight through the very words he used to build his cult. Using the same irrefutable logic Herbert applied to Denmark as "Dan’s mark," we’ve decoded the secret pagan roots of his movement—and the results will leave you reeling.
The Sun-God Signal: Decoding "Radio Church of God"
Let’s start with the Radio Church of God, the name Herbert gave his fledgling group in 1934 when he launched his radio broadcasts. To the untrained eye, "Radio" refers to the medium he used to spread his message. But let’s apply Herbert’s own linguistic genius—the kind that turned Denmark into "Dan’s mark"—and see what we uncover. Break "Radio" into its parts: "Ra" and "dio." "Ra" is none other than the Egyptian sun god, a deity worshipped for millennia as the bringer of light and power. "Dio" is Latin for "god," straight from the pagan Roman pantheon. Put them together, and "Radio" means "Ra, the god"—a clear signal that Herbert was secretly honoring the sun god with every broadcast.
It gets worse. The "Church of God" part? Herbert claimed it meant the true church, but let’s dig deeper. "Church" sounds an awful lot like "Circe," the Greek goddess of sorcery who turned men into pigs in Homer’s Odyssey. And "God"? That’s just a shortened form of "Goddess," because Herbert was clearly hiding his devotion to Circe, the pagan enchantress. So, the Radio Church of God is really the "Ra-Circe-Goddess" cult—a sun-god-sorcery mashup that proves Herbert wasn’t fighting paganism; he was leading it! Every time he took to the airwaves, he was beaming Ra’s light into the world, a high priest of the sun masquerading as a Christian. The irony is as bright as Ra’s solar rays—Herbert, the anti-pagan crusader, was a sun-god devotee all along!
The Worldwide Conspiracy: A Pagan Name in Disguise
In 1968, Herbert renamed his group the Worldwide Church of God, a move he said reflected its global reach. But let’s apply his own etymological wizardry to this "innocent" name. "Worldwide" seems straightforward—until you break it down. "World" is suspiciously close to "Wyrd," the Old English term for fate, tied to the pagan Norns of Norse mythology who wove destiny’s threads. "Wide" sounds like "Woden," the Anglo-Saxon name for Odin, the Norse god of war and wisdom. So, "Worldwide" is really "Wyrd-Woden," a double dose of Norse paganism that Herbert sneaked into his church’s identity.
And "Church of God" again? We’ve already exposed "Church" as Circe, the sorceress, and "God" as Goddess. But let’s take it further: "of" sounds like "Oph," short for "Ophion," the Greek serpent god who ruled the world before Zeus. Put it all together, and the Worldwide Church of God becomes the "Wyrd-Woden-Circe-Ophion-Goddess" cult—a pagan stew of Norse fate-weavers, Greek sorcery, serpent gods, and goddess worship. Herbert thought he was going global, but he was really building a shrine to a pantheon of pagan deities, all while preaching against them. The hypocrisy is thicker than the WCG’s triple-tithing demands—Herbert wasn’t just a preacher; he was a pagan overlord, hiding his true allegiance behind a Christian facade!
The Plain Truth: A Magazine of Moon Worship
Herbert’s flagship publication, The Plain Truth, reached 8 million readers at its peak, spreading his anti-pagan message worldwide. But let’s crack open the name with Herbert’s own logic. "Plain" sounds like "Plen," from the Latin "plenus," meaning full, often used in lunar contexts like "plenary moon." And "Truth"? That’s just a sneaky reference to "Thoth," the Egyptian god of wisdom and the moon, often depicted with a lunar disk. So, The Plain Truth is really "The Full Moon of Thoth"—a blatant tribute to moon worship, hidden in plain sight.
It makes sense when you think about it. Herbert was obsessed with end-times prophecy, always looking to the skies for signs of the apocalypse. What better way to honor Thoth, the moon god, than with a magazine that beams lunar wisdom to the masses? Every issue of The Plain Truth was a ritual, a paper offering to Thoth, cloaked as Christian prophecy. Herbert might have thought he was exposing paganism, but he was really leading a moon cult, his readers unwitting acolytes in a lunar conspiracy. The glossy pages of The Plain Truth weren’t spreading God’s truth—they were glowing with Thoth’s moonlight, a pagan beacon for the WCG’s deluded flock. How’s that for a "plain" truth?
Ambassador College: A Temple to the War God
Ambassador College, Herbert’s pride and joy, was founded in 1947 to train WCG ministers in his "pure" doctrine. But let’s dissect the name. "Ambassador" breaks down into "Amba" and "Sador." "Amba" sounds like "Amun," another name for the Egyptian god Ra (because Herbert couldn’t get enough of his sun-god fixation). "Sador" is suspiciously close to "Sadr," an Arabic star name, but let’s twist it further—sounds like "Sator," from the Latin "Sator Square," a magical palindrome tied to Roman pagan rituals. So, "Ambassador" means "Amun-Sator," a blend of Egyptian sun worship and Roman magic.
And "College"? That’s just a sneaky nod to "Col," short for "Colchis," the mythical land in Greek mythology where Jason sought the Golden Fleece, ruled by the war god Ares. Put it together, and Ambassador College becomes "Amun-Sator-Colchis"—a temple to the sun god, Roman magic, and the war god Ares, all rolled into one. Herbert thought he was building a school for God’s truth, but he was really erecting a pagan academy, training his ministers to serve a warlike sun cult. The marble halls and manicured gardens of Ambassador weren’t Christian—they were a monument to Ares, funded by the tithes of the WCG’s impoverished flock. While members struggled to pay their triple tithes, Herbert’s war-god temple stood as a testament to his pagan priorities—education for Ares, not for God!
The World Tomorrow: A Broadcast to the Underworld
Herbert’s radio and TV program, The World Tomorrow, was his global platform, reaching millions with his end-times warnings. But let’s twist the name with his own logic. "World" we’ve already tied to "Wyrd," the Norse concept of fate, linked to the Norns. "Tomorrow" breaks down into "To" and "Morrow." "To" sounds like "Tu," short for "Tutu," an Akkadian god of the underworld. "Morrow" is suspiciously close to "Morrígan," the Celtic goddess of war and death, often associated with fate and the afterlife. So, The World Tomorrow is really "Wyrd-Tutu-Morrígan"—a broadcast dedicated to Norse fate, Akkadian underworld gods, and Celtic death deities.
Every episode of The World Tomorrow was a ritual, a signal to the underworld that Herbert was coming for his pagan throne. He thought he was preaching the Kingdom of God, but he was really summoning Tutu and Morrígan, preparing his followers for a pagan afterlife, not a Christian one. The dramatic music, the booming voice—Herbert wasn’t just a preacher; he was a death-cult leader, broadcasting his allegiance to the underworld while his followers tuned in, oblivious to the pagan signal. The world tomorrow? More like the underworld today, thanks to Herbert’s secret death-god worship!
The Plain Truth of Herbert’s Pagan Empire
Let’s step back and look at the big picture. Herbert’s Radio Church of God was a sun-god cult for Ra and Circe. The Worldwide Church of God was a Norse-Greek serpent-worshipping cabal. The Plain Truthwas a moon-worshipping ritual for Thoth. Ambassador College was a war temple for Ares and Amun. And The World Tomorrow was a death-cult broadcast for Tutu and Morrígan. Every pillar of Armstrongism, when viewed through Herbert’s own linguistic logic, reveals a pagan conspiracy so vast it makes his anti-pagan rants look like the ultimate cover-up.
Herbert spent decades warning his followers about the "pagan" world—Christmas lights, Easter eggs, Sunday services—while building an empire that was, by his own standards, the most pagan of all. Was he a secret sun-god priest, hiding his Ra worship behind a Christian facade to rake in $200 million a year? Or was he so clueless that he accidentally founded a pagan cult while trying to fight paganism? Either way, the WCG wasn’t God’s church—it was a pantheon of pagan gods, from Ra to Bacchus, all bowing to Herbert, their high priest of hypocrisy. The man who called the world pagan was the biggest pagan of all, a cult leader whose empire was a shrine to every deity he claimed to despise.
A Call to Action: Burn the Pagan WCG to the Ground
To Armstrongism’s followers—past, present, and in every splinter —your church is a pagan cesspool, a sun-moon-war-fertility cult masquerading as Christianity. Herbert’s own logic proves it: every word, every name in his empire drips with pagan origins, from Ra’s radio waves to Zeus’s Elysium. He called the world pagan while building the ultimate pagan shrine, either as a conman hiding his sun-god worship for profit, or a fool too blind to see the paganism in his own house. The WCG isn’t a church—it’s a temple to Ra, and it’s time to let the sun set on Armstrongism for good.
Conclusion: Herbert, High Priest of the Pagan Pantheon
Herbert W. Armstrong’s war on paganism was the greatest con in cult history—or the dumbest delusion. Using his own twisted logic, we’ve exposed the pagan roots of Armstrongism, Herbert either knew he was a pagan high priest, hiding his Ra devotion to build a $200 million empire, or he was a clueless fraud, accidentally founding a pagan pantheon while preaching purity. For AiCOG readers, this satire reveals the absurdity of Herbert’s methods—his linguistic tricks, his paranoia, his control. Laugh at the irony, then walk away from his pagan cult, leaving Herbert’s sun-god shrine to crumble in the shadows.
The Pagan Roots of Armstrongism © 2025 by Ai-COG is licensed under CC BY-ND 4.0
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13 comments:
Brilliant!
Don't forget Herbie's monument to the Sun God is the Ambassador Auditorium, which required all members at church services to face East towards the rising sun!
The person who composed this post is probably very proud of himself for his creativity and his use of hyperbole and absurdity. But the truth is that this post is pretty much what the more extreme Sacred Names groups actually teach.
Elvis was a secret visitor to AC for decades.
He came to services disguised as Elvis to fool everyone.
The reality is the auditorium was simply a nod to Graceland.
You read it here first. Now in other interesting news……………….
Can’t wait for reactions from the Armstrong remanents to this post ha ha……
Anyone who has read David Jon Hill's memoirs will recognize this same methodology as his class at AC used to "identify" the nations of western Europe as originating with specific tribes. They crossed sound-alike words amongst completely different languages, and even used Ebonics before Ebonics were cool to identify the Saxons as 'saac's sons (heh heh- Isaac's
sons!). Ambassador College research was always extremely amusing if you allowed your attitude to drift! Rude 'tude, dude!
BB
the old Saxons from Isaac's sons trick was a strange one being a complete falsehood of course as experts long ago explained. There is no connection of the Hebrew> D J must have had a vivid imagination
I need to add a little context, Bill. My point was not that David Jon Hill was teaching this, or presiding over it. What I described happened as a classroom activity when he was a student at Ambassador College in the early years when many of the doctrines, Armstrongian "gnosticism" (for lack of a better term) and arcane shibboleths were being established. His fellow student and best friend at the time was Dick Armstrong. The results of the linguistic associations made in that classroom activity were a partial source for HWA's detailed explanations as to how and why the Western European nations were the tribes of Israel! It was wild speculation by those students, obviously encouraged by their professor. Figuratively, they were throwing darts, and wherever these darts were landing became the research for the booklets and sermons on British Israelism.
David Jon Hill was really blowing the roof off of Armstrongism in his memoirs, making incredible revelations. Many of us on the early forums and blogs were waiting for someone of high rank to emerge and come forward and spill the beans, telling what they knew about the Armstrong scam. Mr. Hill was actually revealing deep inner secrets as nobody else had, and then he suddenly died as he was getting to the juciest parts. The stalwart followers of HWA during the 1950s could not possibly have imagined DJH and Dick Armstrong driving from Pasadena to Hollywood, to deliver the latest HWA master broadcast tapes of The World Tomorrow Program for dubbing and duplication, smoking cigarettes as they made that trip several times each week.
Mr. Hill was simply doing what recovering alcoholics do as they work their 12 step programs. He was living an authentic life, and setting things right. Al Portune Sr., to my knowledge, was not an alcoholic. But, he also had several revelatory things to say in his post-Armstrong writings. I'm surprised the writings of these two men are not archived prominently on our favorite sites.
BB
DJH and Dick Armstrong... smoking cigarettes as they made that trip several times each week.
What is the history of WCG's attitude toward and prohibition of tobacco smoking? It seems to have been selective, at best. Rod Meredith was also around in that DJH/Dick Armstrong era, and it is fairly well known that one of his kids was a cigarette smoker, and that at least two of his boys have been occasional cigar smokers. Rod would occasionally speak fondly about his father's pipe smoking. And yet, any tobacco use in the ACOGs is definitely on the down-low.
I know/knew several evangelists and ministers who regularly smoked cigars. One evangelist that the church looked up to used to love to say the "F" word. when not around regular members. He swore like a sailor. F this, F that, and especially F so-n-so. Some are deceased, and some of those guys are now part of UCG, LCG and COGWA.
You people are demon-possessed!
Even back in that same era, the 1950s, smoking cessation was a prerequisite for baptism. Thing is, east of the Mississippi, most of the powerhouse congregations in the major cities had not yet been raised up, so no visiting program there. By the early '60s, when I attended the first years of SEP in Texas, there were kids from the Chicago church present, Pittsburgh, New York, Atlanta, Kansas City, Memphis, and other places across the USA. Many had adapted "Eddie Haskell" type personalities, just to survive a WCG childhood. We had lots of fun figuring out who had come from where based on accents. Those of us from the northeast thought we had no accents, but our brethren from the south could always pick up on a Yankee accent. I heard later of one or two smoking incidents there at SEP in Texas, but there was more at SEP in Orr the first year.
But, yeah Jon Hill and Dick Armstrong were rebel outlaws in the early years of Ambassador College. Although Herbert had a nasty habit of looking away and ignoring his sons' sins, I seriously doubt that he knew these guys were smoking. Still on the basic sin scale, Cigarettes were not as bad as taking the ladies out for sexual test drives. Actually, in the mid 1960s, there were AC students, guys and gals who were birds of a feather as that relates to the tobacco weed, who went off campus on Saturday nights to smoke and drink in local parks, at the homes of unconverted relatives , or down in the Arroyo. There were other gals who did not smoke, but were known to share a pint of Southern Comfort or Canadian Club in the formal gardens behind some of the mansions. Security didn't usually patrol the grounds unless they received a call about non students wandering around campus. I've heard that during the late 1970s, there was usage of marijuana and fornication on campus, amongst the student body. It was out of control and led to the shutdown of the AC Campus in Pasadena. It all went to Texas.
Just as the history of the USA has blanked out inconvenient facts, the Armstrong movement has done quite the same.
BB
I read one of the 1860 Church of God bulletins where Grandma Annie from the Dakotas (living in the Middle of Indian Territory) was rebuked by the Church Council for "Smoking the Pipe".
Later in the 1890's "skating at skating rinks" was frowned upon.
I had to look up a Doctoral Thesis why the "skating" would have been morally bankrupt.
Luckily we have "forever young" Byker Bob who always enlightens us on the history of "American Youth Culture" and their major hick ups...
Nck
Can't help it, nck. My ex-girlfriend was a vampire! We had an agreement that she wouldn't turn me, so I trusted her and let her feed off me just a little when she had emergencies and couldn't find any blood. Unfortunately, she got carried away one time, which kind of sucks, because as you know, there's the religious tribulation which might happen in the next 3-5 years, and the science tribulation with climate change which we can see is getting closer all the time. It's only early April and last week we already had two days when the temp was in the triple digits! It's muy scary, old buddy, cause I don't get to escape either of these tribs like the rest of my fellow boomers!
BB
By now you should know that the mention of "triple digits temperature" made me book my flight to Petra.
nc(elsius)k
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