I’m a Black Woman Who Grew Up in a Cult - Here’s Why I’m Finally Talking About It
In this personal op-ed, actor and podcast host LaNisa Renee Frederick unpacks her childhood in the Worldwide Church of God, how racism shaped its theology, and the healing that came from naming the shame out loud.
Growing up in the ’80s and ’90s as a Black girl in the Midwest, I knew early on that my church was different—maybe even “weird”—compared to my peers'. But it wasn’t until years later that I connected my experiences to the word cult, which sent me on a journey to unpack the shame and embarrassment I didn’t even realize I was carrying.
Like many Black households, the church was a cornerstone of my upbringing. However, most of my school friends were Baptist, AME, or Pentecostal. I didn’t really understand what we were, but I knew we were Sabbath keepers. From Friday sundown to Saturday sundown: no work, no parties, no Saturday morning cartoons. (Though my siblings and I did manage to sneak in episodes of He-Man and She-Ra.)
I remember being six and pulled from the class Halloween party because I wasn’t allowed to participate. Heartbroken, I sat alone watching my classmates gobble down candy corn and M&M’s, wondering what was so sinful about dressing up like Barbie.
And while other kids settled into the school year each fall, I was collecting homework assignments ahead of our annual two-week spiritual pilgrimage out of state. Sure, it was a little unorthodox. But I didn’t start questioning the church’s doctrines and ideologies until college. I was taking an intro to theology course and decided to use this new thing called Google to look up my old church. What I found shook me: article after article labeling it a cult.
That couldn’t be right. I had fun in church! We went roller skating and had potlucks that even brought my non-member mom into the fold. Plus, we’re Black. We don’t do cults. Outside of “those Jonestown people,” cults were something that happened to white folks in documentaries. Sure, we might deal with “church hurt,” but cults? Nah. Not us.
Still, I kept digging—reading, researching, and talking to former members. At first, I defined a cult by what I could see. Then I began to understand, through experts, that cults aren’t about optics. You don’t have to live in Waco, wear matching Nikes, or drink the Kool-Aid to be under control. Fear-based obedience, punishment for questioning authority, strict hierarchies, and man-made rules disguised as biblical truths? That’s culty too.
That’s when I finally said out loud: “Oh shit. We were in a cult.”
Read the entire article here: I’m a Black Woman Who Grew Up in a Cult - Here’s Why I’m Finally Talking About It, where she discusses the curses of British Israelism that contributed to racism in the church.
4 comments:
What an excellent interview in the first video. Even though I'm white, I heard this same crap growing up when it was Radio Church of God.
I wonder if Bob Thiel's African followers know about the inherent racism that Armstrongism had embedded in it due to the putrid British-Israelism doctrine?
Thank you for your podcast.
British Israelism is a curse. I admit I embraced it decades back. It sounded entirely plausible. And like many I was sincere in what I believed. But it was a doctrine (mythology) that separated me from the gospel of hope we have in Christ. And a theology which I find totally repugnant today and a bastardisation of scripture. Life is a journey, abet a difficult one at times. BI is racist and it impacted how many of us interacted with those not of Israelite heritage. Yet today I understand that we are all one in Christ and it that I rejoice, for Jesus has done what BI could never do, bring us to the Father. Thank you for sharing your story.
There are so many people who have a deep inner need to be a "special" people, even if they can know without doubt that their coveted status is at the expense of, and to the detriment of someone else.
British Israelism was appealng to some in the USA at a time when our country was just emerging from being a racist nation. Conservative intellect, Dr. Condoleeza Rice, ally to President George W. Bush, used to say that America was born with several birth defects. She did not need to elaborate, and she was being kind in her assessment. Enslavement of Africans, Genocide of Native Americans. It is not white guilt to acknowledge something so obvious. That would be a cop-out, and an admission that some do not intend to do anything to correct it.
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