Is It Hot Outside? Our Crackpot Prophet Knows Why

 

Is it hot outside today? 

Well, congratulations, you pathetic, sniveling, lukewarm Laodicean cretins — God Himself is personally roasting you like the worthless spiritual slob you are. Every drop of sweat rolling down your pathetic face is divine judgment screaming that the end times are finally here (again). This isn’t just summer, you dullard — it’s the Almighty’s special weather report telling you that you’re about to be left behind like the miserable failure you’ve always been.

So you’d better fall on your knees and repent immediately and joind the only one true Philadelphian church… lest you be deemed too spiritually bankrupt to join the elite remnant hiding out in Petra, where you’ll miss the glorious opportunity to sit on a dusty rock for three and a half glorious years, listening to Crackpot Bob drone on and on about how this time his prophecies will definitely, positively, for-sure come true (unlike the last 547 times he was spectacularly wrong).

Enjoy the heat, you grievous Laodiceans. You’ve earned it.

Bible prophecy shows that before the Messiah (Jesus) returns, we will have what could be called as a global heat punishment:

8 Then the fourth angel poured out his bowl on the sun, and power was given to him to scorch men with fire. 9 And men were scorched with great heat, and they blasphemed the name of God who has power over these plagues; and they did not repent and give Him glory. (Revelation 16:8-9)

But, the above prophecy is for several years into the future–we are not too near that yet. But I believe that this will happen in the 21st century.

The Bible shows:

30 God … commands all men everywhere to repent (Acts 17:30)

And weather problems are one tool that God uses to urge people to repent (cf. Haggai 2:17; Amos 4:7-12). But most will not. Nor will most Christians as they should (cf. Revelation 3:14-18; see also The Laodicean Church Era).

 

We have had record temperatures this month in parts of California and elsewhere.

Most now will ignore weather changes and simply believe that weather changes all the time and the changes do not have to do with God or disobeying His laws.

Yet, the Bible shows that weird, severe, and odd weather patterns are part of the warning messages that God gives.