You have reached the number for the Continuing Church of God, the fastest-growing international ministry on the planet.
Please listen carefully as this information has recently changed.
To order vitamins, supplements, and health foods, please press 1.
For Elijah, press 2.
For Zerrubbabel, press 3.
For Elisha, press 4.
For a recording of today's prophecy and numerous other topics, press 5.
To leave a message for Pastor Bwana Mzungu Dr. Bob, press 6.
To register to vote in Africa, press 7.
For a derisive, divisive message about Laodiceans, please press 8.
To speak to the witch doctor currently on duty, press 9, or simply remain on the line.
If you would like to pay your tithes via any major credit card, leave a brief message at the beep in your native language, and we will return your call within the next thirty seconds!
(from a reader)
1 comment:
You forgot to add……
To hear all the above once more…please press 10.
We might add another 2 for good luck.
To hear 10 of my favourite hymns from the old wwcog hymnal…please press 11.
To hear Mr Waterhouses longest ever sermon (if you’re got the time) …please press 12.
To cause this menu to self destruct… please press 13……..and run for ya life lol.
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