Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and anyone still trapped in a Church of God splinter group, rejoice! The end of the world is technically still on the schedule… it’s just been moved. Again.
Crackpot Bob Thiel, fearless leader of the Continuing Church of God and self-appointed final Philadelphian on the planet, has dropped not a warning, not a hint, but a 55-point manifesto explaining in exhaustive, soul-crushing detail why the Great Tribulation cannot possibly start until 2030 at the earliest. That’s right — while lesser prophets were foolishly eyeing 2026 or 2027 like amateurs, Bob was over here doing the real math. And by “real math,” we mean “whatever makes every single competing COG group look like bumbling Laodicean clowns who will be caught completely by surprise when the actual end times finally bother to show up.”
According to Bob, Jesus was very clear in Matthew 24: certain signs must happen first. A seven-year deal from Daniel 9:27 still hasn’t been confirmed. Therefore, by the sacred rules of prophetic arithmetic, the Tribulation is legally barred from beginning for at least another 3½ years. It’s not prophecy — it’s contractual law. God apparently runs on Bob’s calendar.
And if, by some miracle, Israel signs the exact peace deal Bob has been waiting for this summer, then we can all pencil in Jesus’ return for 2033. How thoughtful of Bob to give us the precise year. Most false prophets only guess the decade. Bob gives you the fiscal quarter.
But the real meat of the 55 points isn’t the dates. Oh no. The real meat is the comprehensive demolition of every other Church of God group on Earth. UCG? Wrong. LCG? Wrong. PCG? So wrong they might not even be converted. CG7? Preterist heretics. RCG? Don’t even get him started. Every single one of them has either added extra unbiblical requirements, misunderstood the King of the North, failed to recognize the final Elijah (conveniently Bob), or committed the unforgivable sin of not agreeing with Bob Thiel.
It’s less a prophecy article and more a 55-point Yelp review of the entire COG ecosystem, rated “Would not survive the Tribulation.”Bob helpfully reminds us that only the true Philadelphians (read: people who read his website) will be protected. Everyone else? They’ll be shocked when the King of the North invades the USA first, exactly as Bob predicted. Because nothing says “humble watchman” like spending thousands of words explaining why literally everyone who left or disagreed with you is going to get blindsided by events you yourself have now conveniently scheduled for 2030.Is the end of the world near?Yes.Just not until Bob Thiel finishes explaining, in 55 bullet points, why it can’t possibly be near yet.
In the meantime, feel free to live your life, pay your taxes, and maybe plant a tree or two. According to the one man who has cracked the prophetic code that has eluded every other COG leader for decades, you’ve got at least until early 2030 before things get interesting.
Unless, of course, Bob updates the article next week with 56 points.
Stay tuned. The countdown to the countdown has begun.
11 comments:
55 points? That's almost enough for one Bob Thiel sermon!
Who even cares any more about this horrible crap? Things other than the Armstrong prophecy model are happening all around us that are worse in some ways, and not as bad in others. And, the enemies are not the Germans and the Catholic church, they are us. By us, I mean the destructive extremists in both parties who place the health, strength, and continuation of our nation in accordance with its founding documents second to their agendas. The most threatening condition on the horizon is the economic sustainability of the country as both parties continut to exacerbate the massive national debt. I don't even need to point out the second most urgent as people swelter in the historic heat and the Colorado River dries up. We're too busy building data centers to address it. Also, somebody pulled the plug on another president's work and threw a lot of bombs and money into a war, only to worsen the terms and conditions created by the earlier president's far more educated approach. Now, he's wringing his hands and just wants out, finally realizing that the nation he targeted is basically crazy and will obfuscate whatever they appear to agree to.
Nobody with any sort of brain is going to be paying attention to the Armstrong set of events, because they bear no resemblance to what can plainly be happening in real time.
I have overdosed on Bob. Need a Pack ‘fix’ probably. Haven’t had a prediction update in some time.
Daniel 9 ,27>>
must be one of the most confusing of prophetic verses .
Many including Thiel create a 3 and half year period at the very end times and have a whole scheme with the 3rd temple, sacrifices, the tribulation/beast. This verse is needed to create a 7‑year tribulation; a midpoint; a covenant; a temple; sacrifices; an abomination;a desolator.
Jesus quotes Daniel 9:27 : see Matthew 24:15: “When you see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, standing in the holy place…
Here Jesus explicitly names Daniel, uses Daniel’s exact wording (“abomination of desolation”), places it in the temple (“holy place”), describes the same event Daniel predicts (the Roman destruction of Jerusalem), and Luke 21 interprets it as the same desolation Daniel 9:26–27 foretells.
The earliest Christian writers unanimously understood Matthew 24:15 as a direct reference to Daniel 9:27.that is. Jesus applies Daniel 9:27 to the destruction of Jerusalem in AD 70. Luke confirms this. Early Christians unanimously interpreted Matthew 24:15 as referring to Daniel 9:27.
So we have in contrast the futurist interpretation creating an event 2000 years later using the same verse. Likely the entire third temple scenario is nothing more than just speculation.
Speaking of Pack, there's a recent development regarding Giant Eagle that may be of prophetic significance. I'll save that for the next Pack update.
Reading Bob's exhaustive list of complaints, he more than once condemns a group by pointing out that within it "some teach..." a doctrine he dislikes, thus disqualifying them.
Well, then, "some in" CCOG teach the validity of the non-canonical Book of Enoch. And Bob never stopped it ("some" taught it right up until they died). So, by Bob's own standard, CCOG is just as disqualified as all the other groups Bob condemns.
Hoisted by your own petard, Bob!
The third temple might not be a literal temple. 1 Cor 3:16 Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?
The GT is already over. I survived it.
Jesus gave His disciples the great commission: Preach the good news of salvation to the whole world.
It appears that Bob Thiel thinks the good news is "I'm technically correct and everyone else is wrong."
It just seems as if his preferred path is simply the wrong line of work for him personally. With his manic qualities, I wonder if he would be more successful if he had found a better belief system and message to promote. IOW, is it his own shortcomings, or the Armstrongism itself which is holding him back? He's got a lot of company in the failure department, even amongst the tragi-comedic element.
70 "7s">>>7...19 yr cycles with 7 mo each; 62...7 yrs each; 1... Sunday to any future Sunday>>>Isa 44:28 to 2nd Coming
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