Prophet Bob vs. the Thermometer: El Niño Is Forming. Bob's Patience With This Blog Is Not

God's most favorite self-appointed crackpot prophet, Bob Thiel, has once again detected the unmistakable scent of the Last Days in a weather report. Europe had a hot summer. California is hot because an El Niño is forming. Therefore, the Fourth Angel is warming up his bowl; then that nasty scoffer website Banned by HWA  fulfilled 2 Peter 3, and anyone who points out that weather still happens is walking according to their own lusts.

This is the same raving lunatic who has been announcing the beginning of sorrows since at least 2009. Every flood, every drought, every slightly-above-average August is further confirmation that he, and he alone, is reading the fine print on God's climate policy. When Banned by HWA dares to note that heatwaves also occurred in 2003, 2019, and pretty much every year someone needed a headline, Bob clutches his leather-bound Bible and cries "scoffers!" as if Peter wrote that chapter specifically about a blog that makes fun of him.

Let's apply a little New Covenant thinking, since Crackpot Bob still quotes Deuteronomy 28 like the ink is still wet and the audience is still ancient Israel. Under the Old Covenant, God threatened bronze skies and iron earth if the people didn't keep the statutes. Under the New Covenant, Jesus said the Father "sends rain on the just and the unjust." Weather is no longer a divine performance review for whether you kept the Feast of Tabernacles or avoided pork. It is weather. Sometimes it is El Niño. Sometimes it is climate change. Sometimes it is just July and August. None of these require a 14-minute video titled "Prophetic Scoffers and Earthquakes" in which Crackpot Bob reminds everyone that he was mocked. Oh, the humanity!!!!!!!!!

Crackpot Bob's actual grievance is never the theology. It is that Banned keeps noticing when he does the same routine: take a real event, bolt it onto Mark 13:8, declare it a warning from God, then act wounded when people laugh. The laughter is the persecution. The blog post is the fulfillment of prophecy. The fact that his predictions have the same broken track record as his spiritual daddy, Rod Meredith, is never mentioned. Longsuffering, you see. The Lord is not slack. He's just waiting for Bob to finish another article about how hot it is.

The pattern is now so reliable you could set your air conditioner by it:

• Something meteorological occurs.
• Bob posts scriptures + old Worldwide Church of God quotes + a reminder that he called it in 2009.
• Banned by HWA says, in so many words, "weather exists."
• Bob writes 2,000 words about scoffers in the last days and how they willfully forget the Flood.
• Repeat next heatwave.

At no point does it occur to him that a prophet who needs a new "I was mocked" post every summer might not be the watchman on the wall so much as the guy who keeps yelling "fire" every time the oven preheats.

The world is hot. Crackpot Bob is hotter. And the only thing melting faster than the glaciers is his composure whenever someone refuses to treat his weather commentary as inspired.