WHY I’M EX-PCG
By Dan Moffett
My wife never wanted to be part of the Philadelphia Church of God. She attended because I did. During those years, we had painful experiences with the man who later became the regional director in our area.
Then my wife died suddenly from a brain aneurysm.
Her death devastated me. At first, I hardly cared whether I lived or died. I did not even want to go home. What brought me home was knowing that my two sons, who still lived there, needed their father.
At a time when I desperately needed compassion, I felt very little from the church leadership. The regional director did not want to conduct her funeral. During the announcements at Sabbath services, the local minister said only a few words about her death. He told me the director had forbidden him from saying more because it was the Sabbath and would be inappropriate.
I was too overwhelmed with grief to argue. I brought photographs of my wife and placed them on a table. She had been my companion for decades, and I wanted her life to be remembered.
A few weeks later, our first grandchild was born.
That day was both beautiful and heartbreaking. My wife had looked forward so much to becoming a grandmother, but she was not there to hold that baby.
When I held my grandchild, something changed inside me. I knew I wanted to live. I wanted to see this child grow up, and I knew I needed to improve my health to give myself that chance.
Over the next two years, I lost 160 pounds. Eventually, I began to believe that I was not too old to find companionship again.
There were no single women in my congregation, so I traveled to meet people. My minister cautioned me against traveling too much and reminded me that my local congregation was where I belonged.
A friend who was a minister told me about a single woman in his area. She was a schoolteacher, close to my age, and someone he thought I should meet.
I went to visit, and we connected. We began spending time together, traveling back and forth to see each other. Sometimes I stayed in her area for a week so we could visit every day.
We grew close and believed we were in love. We began talking about marriage.
During that relationship, we became sexually intimate. We understood that this went against the beliefs we professed, and we agreed that it would not happen again before marriage. I take responsibility for my part in that decision.
One day, my minister called while she was visiting me. He asked whether we were in love and wanted to marry. I answered yes to both questions.
After he spoke with the regional director, I was told that we should stop spending time together until the ministers had met her.
She came to meet the local minister, but afterward she was so frightened that we stopped seeing each other for a time. When several difficult things happened in her life, she came to believe they were punishment for what we had done. The guilt weighed heavily on both of us, and we ended the relationship.
That was another painful loss, but I tried to move forward.
Later, I went on a few dates with another woman. There was no sexual involvement. We had not even kissed. I was determined not to repeat my earlier mistake.
That year, I arrived a few days early for the Feast of Tabernacles. While walking through the hotel, I encountered the woman from my first relationship.
We went to dinner. She began crying and told me she still loved me and wanted to marry me. I told her I felt the same way.
The second woman was also attending the Feast. When she learned that the first woman was there, she went to the regional director. I was then instructed not to see either woman until he spoke with me.
He arranged meetings with all three of us, speaking with the women first. When I saw the first woman come out crying, I feared what was ahead.
During my meeting, he questioned me about our relationship. I explained that we had dated, wanted to continue seeing each other, and hoped to receive counseling for marriage.
He pressed for more details. I admitted that we had been intimate. When he asked directly whether we had had sex, I answered honestly.
He called me a “sexual predator.”
I was stunned. I told him that, in 38 years, I had been sexually involved with only one woman besides my deceased wife. I asked whether that made me a sexual predator.
He said yes.
Then he asked whether I had had sex with the second woman. I told him no and explained that we had not even held hands or kissed.
He insisted that I had. He said “NO YOU HAD SEX WITH HER”
I denied it again, but he repeated the accusation. It was deeply disturbing to tell the truth and have a minister insist that I was lying.He then questioned me about pornography and masturbation. I felt humiliated by the direction the meeting had taken.
The local minister sat quietly with a distressed expression. I cannot know what he was thinking, but I felt very alone.
The first woman and I were suspended immediately, and I was ordered to leave the Feast.
I left early the next morning. As I passed her hotel room, I noticed a bill beneath her door and thought she might also be leaving.
About an hour into my drive, I stopped at a Walmart and called her. She had traveled to the Feast with another family, and I was concerned that she might not have money or transportation to get home.
She did not answer, so I left a message offering to send money if she needed help.
After she reported that call to the minister, he called me and said I would be “marked” for contacting her.
When the regional director called, I asked whether I could receive counseling. He told me I was out, no longer a member.
After more than 33 years of involvement in the church community, I asked, “That’s it? No counseling? No second chance?”
He told me not to call again.
He also said he was having to put out many people in the region. To me, he spoke as though the burden was his, while the people losing their relationships and community were given little consideration.
I had devoted decades of my life to that religious community and raised four children within it. Two had attended Armstrong College.
Now I felt discarded.
The emotional consequences were severe. I went through a period of profound despair and did not know how I would recover.
Then the separation reached into my family.
My daughter who lived with me was required to leave home. My other daughter and my granddaughter were forbidden from seeing me. My son at Armstrong College was not allowed to have contact with me.
Losing church membership was painful. Losing contact with my children and grandchild was far worse.
Thankfully, one of my daughters and her husband decided to leave the PCG. They saw what had happened and would not participate in keeping their daughter from her grandfather.
My youngest son also remained with me. What he witnessed damaged his confidence in religion and caused him to question whether God existed. That was another heartbreaking consequence.
I wrote to Gerald Flurry, whom the church called “That Prophet,” explaining what had happened.
I never received an answer.
I later learned through my son-in-law that the regional director knew about the letter and had accused me of lying to Flurry. That director was Cal Culpepper.
I have described these events as I experienced and remember them. I acknowledge my own mistakes. What I cannot accept is the humiliation, the accusations I denied, the refusal to offer further counseling, and the separation of my family.
In time, I began rebuilding my life.
I made friends among people we had been taught to avoid. I discovered kindness, generosity, and genuine concern outside the church community. Those friendships helped me recover.
At the time I first wrote this account, my daughter, son-in-law, two granddaughters, and youngest son were part of my life. Their love helped me move forward. We continued to grieve the separation from my other two children who remained in the PCG.
My hope was—and remains—that our family could be reunited.
I share this account because decisions made by religious leaders can have lasting consequences. Behind every suspension, expulsion, and no-contact instruction are real people: parents, children, grandparents, and grandchildren.
This is why I’m ex-PCG.
An update, fourteen years later
Since I first wrote this letter fourteen years ago, my youngest son has died by suicide.
I believe he never fully recovered from the loss of contact with his only brother and his sister. They were still alive, but the separation meant they were no longer part of his life. I cannot know everything that contributed to his death, but I believe that unresolved grief weighed heavily on him.
When I wrote this account, I still hoped our family would be reunited. Now I carry the sorrow of knowing that, for my youngest son, that reunion can no longer happen in this life.
I continue to hope for contact with my other children. I also hold to the hope of the resurrection, when I believe I will see my youngest son again.
------------------------
If all this has happened to me, just one person.
Imagine how many other people have had their lives ruined by this evil controlling cult church.
This site has been warning of this group for over 33 years. You will find hundreds of damaged lives, broken marriages, destroyed families and even member and ex member suicides. Exit And Support Network
36 comments:
You know it has complete cult control when you’re so scared of the minister you won’t even lie about getting laid.
I must emphasize: HWA was a Freemason, and everything that emerged from the WCG amounts to a calculated deception. The entire COG is built on falsehoods and led by manipulative individuals. People must wake up before their lives are totally destroyed!
When I was counselling for baptism, Fred Dattolo asked me if I had ever masturbated. So awkward! What a question to ask. I was 24 ish at the time. Bunch of sickos in that group.
In the Principles of Living class at AC Pasadena that was taught by David Antion the main take away I got from the class when the topic of masturbation came up, he ask. 95% of the people in this room do it and the other 5% lie about it.
When I began participating in discussions about Armstrongism, nearly all of the people on the forums and blogs were from the old, classic WCG. The abuses were specific to HWA, GTA, and those who were "trained" at Ambassador College. You can still see this over at Painful Truth in the archives, and such folders as the "Hall of Shame" which contains the pictures of the ministry from the mid 1970s.
One of our visionaries speculated about future forums that would be tackling the damages done to the victims of the then new "splinter" groups, which at the time had not amassed enough bad history. It seemed self-obvious that in retaining versions of the same church government, there could only be additional abuse. Jonestown was frequently mentioned. There were also obvious comparisons to Hitler, and HWA's fascination with him. We were already using Stockholm Syndrome, retrospectively analyzing our own experiences in the WCG.
I had been contemplating many scenarios, some of which were informed by what was now becoming so well known by the general public about cults. They had been in the news, deprogrammers had emerged as suoerstars, and I felt that societal evolution had elevated humanity in general to the point that there was diminished susceptibility to authoritarian cults. The WCG splinters had lost their publishing capabilities, their power in attracting new members. Plus, the hook was gone. All the years of expecting the Germans and the Catholics had petered out (no pun intended). There were additional existential threats consuming peoples' attention.
Yet, here we are. These people are still doing it. Preserving the attrocities, and even developing new outrages. It boggles the mind. I do and do not feel sorry for the victims. I realize that their minds have been skillfully tampered with. But, I also know that there is a tremendous truth-checking capability with a small clicking device called a mouse. So, in a very real sense, these people are responsible for what happens to them. The world learned decades ago at Nuremburg that "I was only following orders" is a specious excuse for an excuse.
We need more courageous people like Mr. D.L. Moffett speaking out!
The PCG is always intruding into the personal lives of its members. They are scum who think they are God and they are also idiots who cannot make any correct decisions about anything.
Even monkeys do it.
What is really sad is when you realize the PCG is not that unusual for its desire to control information and there is not one media outlet, church, or government that really wants the truth.
Such a sick cult. I've known exactly 3 women that later went to PCG. All three died early. A 4th I knew peripherally is perpetually sick. Small sampling, but still meaningful as this is not a large organization. So many widowers in the organization. The author of this article Dan Moffett was, Gerald Flurry was, Brian Davis was twice (very premature deaths, now remarried a third time). Andy Locher was a widower briefly before he died prematurely. Two of the women I knew are included in those mentioned above. The other was a lay member's wife.
(MAT. 17:16-20) 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.
N02HWA
I was curious. I have been listening to David Antion sermons on his web page for the last 40 years, and always thought he was a straight shooter, the best of the WCG lot. What's your opinion of the man if you don't mind my asking? I don't recall ever seeing him addressed in a negative light here on banned.
None of this matters because there will soon be a nuclear war that will wipe out PCG headquarters and the rest of the planet. Good luck with that. None of their lies will help them in the end.
I’m still trying to make sense of the personal account here, and I don’t disagree with this comment I just want to say on the opposite side that if they really believed that this man was grooming women to sleep with them, I do understand why they would rather put him out than let someone get hurt. Look at other institutions where they do the opposite and let women be exploited to protect men who make money for the organization, like star athletes in colleges. Whether this counsel style trial got the facts right is another question. To be fair also, Dan Moffett has written about this before and he made a pretty derogatory remark about the minister’s wife’s looks - which is not acceptable treatment of women and if his faith is sincere he will acknowledge and repent of that too. This whole story tells me that we all need God, in or out of a church. We’re all human and we need to see ourselves.
The best a true example of a Christian one of a few
The bottom line is that the Armstrong movement has made a mockery of the very concept of the return of Jesus Christ! Oy vey, the sheer mass of false prophecies and lying dates! All they had to do was one thing! When the date failed as the years counted down from 1972-75, they could easily have come clean, been honest, thought to themselves "Ouch! Daddy spank!" and repented of setting dates, abandoned all of their useless math, and commenced to teaching Christian living principles. (Not that they knew much about those, either!)
But, alas, it is difficult to kick such an effective wealth generator as "There is going to be a horrible tribulation in 3-5 years, followed by the glorious return of Jesus Christ! Here's what you need to do so that your life and those of your loved ones will be spared!"
Ironically, "Wolf" has been cried by the wolves in sheeps' clothing for nearly a hundred years now! The best thing I can find to say about HWA is that the fees he paid for his broadcasts financed the Pirate Radio Stations' ability to circumvent the BBC's control, and to blanket England and all of Europe with some awesome rock n roll!!!🎸🎸🎸
BB
Winston Davis as well. (Brian Davis’ father). He also remarried.
The anonymous soul at 11:39 AM Thursday obviously gives PCG and Armstrong ministers way too much credit. To think they’re concerned about “grooming“ when they literally worship a child molester, and now follow a drunk, is to blind oneself to reality.
If the writer is simply an undercover PCG apologist, I’m going to make the mistake of giving my enemy some advice: you get probably a B on staying undercover in terms of overt statements. That “in or out of a church“ line was actually very good. However, you only get about a C for hiding agenda. Expressing the idea that PCG ministers remotely care is just too suspicious.
As for specific shots, “whataboutism,” like mentioning Dan’s addressing of minister’s wife, really only works when the target is not such an explicitly sympathetic character. Considering what PCG is doing, taking a shot at a woman being a dog is small potatoes, a legit vengeance shot.
Hey, 11:39 ~ Speaking of how women should be treated, how did the love in Flurry's second marriage turn to loathing to the point where the marriage had to be dissolved? Did he treat her like Cal Culpepper treats all the brethren? Or like the ministers treated Dan?
Beware charm !
Well 7:11 and NO2HWA@7:51 re masturbation I know of that funny statistic but based on personal experience I didn’t start fapping till I was 27–I know I know I came late to the party! lol—So if I was asked up until then if I masturbated I would’ve honestly said no. Hence that statistic of 95% masturbating and admitting to it while the other 5% denying it would have to take into consideration of that tiny percentage that I would’ve been included in—probably just 1 or 2%—that actually didn’t masturbate. Of course now I do it every 3, 5 or 7 days and it’s usually to help me sleep or destress.
I just watched a program last night in which the topic was cults. Interestingly there was a clip of Dr Steven Hassan who mentioned that there are 4 things to look out for when spotting a cult and brainwashing environment. It’s based on his BITE model of authoritarian control:
1) Behavior control;
2) Information control;
3) Thought control; and
4) Emotional control
I’m sure we’ve all experienced aspects of all 4 in various situations be it religious groups (WCG, JW, Catholic, etc), political groups (MAGA, LGBT, etc), corporate groups (Amway, etc), environmental groups (climate change, etc), science groups (evolution, etc), medical groups (vaccination, etc), etc. Most recently we’ve seen all 4 exercised by governments throughout the pandemic of the Covid cult.
"I was told that we should stop spending time together until the ministers had met her (a potential mate)"
This is so sick. A man old enough to have grandchildren is arbitrarily treated like a ten year old, who needs the big people to can assess a potential mate.
People in these cults are groomed to feel that this is normal and natural, but it's not. It's sick, sick, sick that old people are treated as children.
Pcog is a devil inspired cult. The leadership & ministry is what Christ & John the Baptist called out as a group of vipers and white washed tombs & when they make a proselyte, they make him twice the prisoner of Hell than he was previously. They lay grevious burdens on the lay members while they them selves are unwilling to inconvenience themselves in the smallest manner. They are really focused on preying on elderly members to will out their possessions and savings to their greedy hands, and denying rightful inheritors. No wonder GRF, like his idol HWA tried to diminish the role of Christ and they exalt themselves instead with false self proclaimed titles and ranks.
What was left out of this letter was the fact that Culpepper accused me of having sex with the second lady in the letter. i told him i had not. he said, YES YOU DID. Arron Eagle was in the room he can confirm the the conversation. Culpepper is a monster. Some of the accusations he made I can't publish here.
To identify a cult you only need one criteria: information control. That IS thought control, and it leads to behavior control, which is what they want. By that standard, all media are cults.
I’m the anon person that you guys are replying to and I just think that 2 wrongs don’t make a right. And I see some things that aren’t right in Dan Moffett’s posts. I don’t think he respects women enough, I think he hurt the first one more than he realizes. The second one might have lied, which puts a lot of this on her instead of the church. But I don’t know. And his comment about the minister’s wife was not the dog comment but something more inappropriate that I won’t repeat and it makes me wonder how Dan Moffett looks at women. I don’t like that he posts his kids pictures online and tells his daughter that she is going in the lake of fire on his blog. I’m not defending PCG or WCG and definitely not RCG but I’m not in love with Dan Moffett’s postings. He’s not protecting people’s privacy enough. I’m very sorry to hear about the suicide though and I wish for healing! I don’t know these people personally and I won’t post anything else because I don’t want to contribute to anything unhealthy in this whole situation. Peace out and all the best to you all!
Dan! Dude! If this Eagle guy is willing to confirm the conversation, then get him on the record. If not, then stop saying he can confirm it.
You can publish probably any accusation made against you that you want here. We often sit around and talk about how Pervert Double-cursed Strongarm raped his daughter. We had people accusing one of the Celtic Throne dancers of being a flaming homosexual, with no evidence. Just keep the graphic language to a minimum. If management here doesn’t like it, they’ll censor you. But WTF does that matter? If you’re concerned that the accusation will hurt somebody else, again, WTF does that matter?
I’m sure the basic story you’re telling is true. But a less emotional and more rational approach would benefit tremendously. Put the cause ahead of yourself.
When I attended WCG in the 1960s and 1970s, we were taught that SATAN is the accuser of the brethren! Tells you everything you need to know about this Culpepper clown. Sorry, this happened to you. The WCG, as bad as it was, was never as extreme as some of the Splinter ACOGs appear to be. Flurry's PCG (which is supposed to be the Church of brotherly love), showed you ZERO brotherly love. Separation of family members was never, to my knowledge, practiced by WCG just like the fraud Dave Pack's Common theft doctrine was also never a belief or practiced by WCG.
I have to wonder to myself who is more honest - you, who have spilled your guts here on this website OR the clown ministurds of the PCG? Let him/her without sin caste the first stone. You can bet that everything you have been accused, they have done themselves including masturbation (if they were really honest). They aren't the Judge!
Richard
Spot on Byker Bob!
HWA did try to "come clean" in 1972. Instead of German bombs dropping on America in January, 1972 starting the Great Tribulation, after a month of deafening silence from the WCG, HWA announced the significance of the second 19-year time cycle as (drum roll, please), ADVERTISING in Readers Digest. You can't make this stuff up :)
Richard
The CURSE Of The PCG
Gerald R. Flurry is a plagiarizing (“Malachi's Mess.”), gospel suppressing (“new commission”), family wrecking (“no contact policy”), Jesus' identity stealing (“That Prophet”), false prophet who spent decades praising and promoting himself until he became the new king of England in his delusions, and is now wasting his followers' time with Irish dancing. His claimed 50+ visions were utterly worthless.
By the late 1990s, when about 7,000 people were attending with the PCG, it was mentioned that more people had already gone through the PCG (had left or been expelled) than were currently attending. The PCG has been in long-term decline ever since then. When Gerald Flurry wanted to be called “That Prophet,” all the rest of the people should have walked out, or told Gerald “NO!” and been kicked out.
Anyone going to the PCG should not be totally surprised at the curse that they come under for supporting such a satanic imposter cult.
Dan, you did nothing wrong, according to your account. Those ministers in PCG were more concerned about their Pharisaical rules than in love.
They showed no loved and it seems, from various accounts, that PCG seems to be based on the cult of Flurry, all worship Flurry, like the Kim family in North Korea.
You did nothing wrong in having sex with that woman, if it was an act of love. In the NT, the word porneo is mistranslated as fornication, it actually means prostitution. I do not think it is right to sleep around with everyone, but sex with someone you love, when you are both single, is not a sin. In the Ten Commandments, it says, Do not commit adultery. That does not mean you cannot have sex. Most people misunderstand that, and ministers use it to control people.
I hope things work out well for you, Dan.
Some would disagree re about Herbert being a free mason but what is beyond doubt is the fact Armstrong’s huge problems were doctrinal, ethical, and organisational: plagiarism/failed prophecies/authoritarian governance/
doctrinal innovations and his false gospel /misuse of Scripture/financial irregularities/personal scandal
There are only three kinds: (i) bullheaded, (ii) pigheaded, (iii) horseheaded.
After being in a cult full of cheats and idiots one can develop a severe desire to avoid people completely.
Could you please share your source on this, G.D? It'll mean much more than it does when you stste it. It'd be nice to be able to look it up and prove it.
That's a common reaction. According to research, the human brain physically changes in an abusive environment. Parts of the brain enlarge while other parts shrink. It appears that constant abuse permanently weakens the victims mind.
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