Crackpot Prophet Suffering More Intense Persecution By Amazon Kindle!

Behold the tragic saga of God's greatest gift to humanity—our very own unparalleled theological genius, the one and only Crackpot Bob—currently being absolutely pulverized by the relentless hordes of Satanic forces. 

These infernal minions, apparently with nothing better to do than hunch over their glowing screens in some dimly lit basement lair, have been gleefully sabotaging his websites for months. Yes, months of digital warfare, where they gleefully tamper with code, crash servers, and generally wreak havoc on poor Crackpot Bob's online empire. Because nothing says "Prince of Darkness" like DDoS attacks and broken HTML, right?

And just when you thought the persecution couldn't get any more operatic, Amazon Kindle has now entered the fray like the corporate arm of Beelzebub himself. They've unceremoniously dumped every last one of Crackpot Bob's profound writings from their platform. All those earth-shattering treatises, vanished in a puff of algorithmic smoke! Oh, the humanity! Whatever shall the faithful do now? How will the world possibly survive without instant access to such luminous insights? The apocalypse is surely upon us—stock up on tinfoil, people.

Crackpot Bob himself, ever the stoic martyr in this grand cosmic drama, writes:

Since Amazon Kindle improperly removed all our literature for a false reason, we have been updating our literature as we move it to another platform. So, we are trying to turn this persecuting step into a positive.

UCG Member Survey: Repetitive Sermons Lacking In Depth, Cliques, Inner Circles and More

 

UCG just wrapped up their fancy little member survey about programs and the oh-so-fulfilling congregational experience they provide. Shockingly, members are still finding those same old repetitive, tired, canned sermons they've been force-fed for decades to be boring and utterly lacking in depth. What a surprise. They had this golden opportunity to reinvent everything when they launched their shiny new-and-improved COG, but apparently, old habits die harder than a bad sermon illustration.

The numbers, of course, paint such a rosy picture: the Church is still viewed as this powerful positive force for spiritual growth. So many respondents gushed with deep appreciation for the teaching, resources, and rock-solid stability UCG so generously offers.

Yet somehow, a few pesky themes of "improvement opportunities" managed to sneak in:

At the same time, several themes emerged where members see opportunities for improvement:

• Congregational care and belonging show mixed results. Many feel loved and supported, while others feel less engaged or unsure how to connect.
• Biblical resources are valued, but some members desire more support during difficult personal trials.
• Weekly messages are appreciated but sometimes described as repetitive or lacking depth; there is room to elevate the delivery style and effectiveness of messages.
• Service and involvement remain areas of both strength and challenge. Many serve regularly, yet others want to serve but don’t know how to begin.
• Being a light in the community is an aspiration for many, but members desire clearer pathways and encouragement to do so.

Go ahead and be a dazzling light in the community WITHOUT waiting for a COG minister to hand you an approved checklist of exactly what, when, and how you're allowed to help. Shocking concept, I know.

Just pick whatever needs you personally see in your community that needs help, do whatever you feel moved to do—no permission slip required. Dare to surround yourself with—brace yourselves—people who aren't UCG members, and (prepare to be scandalized) actually enrich your lives in the process!

You might discover that there are tons of wonderful, caring, generous human beings out there in the big bad world. And get this: shockingly, a whole bunch of them are Christians... the very ones you've been carefully taught your entire life are spiritually inferior, deceived, or just plain lesser. 

Next, the focus went to members serving in the local area.

UCG is still dragging around the exact same problem WCG had: the same handful of people do everything repeatedly while everyone else gets ignored. Offer to help? Crickets. No wonder people eventually withdraw.

Some described congregations where the same small group carries most of the responsibilities. Others noted that service is often associated only with visible tasks—speaking, leading music, organizing activities—rather than the broader, relational service Scripture describes.

A recurring theme was the longing to feel invited. Several comments reflected this sentiment: “I don’t feel like the Church gives me an opportunity to serve; I step out on my own and offer myself to anyone who needs it” and “There are brethren with talents who want to serve, but they are never asked.”

At the same time, those who have been serving for many years expressed feeling stretched thin. This creates a cycle where some are overloaded while others stand back, unsure how to join in.

When people withdraw, surprise—they get ignored even more, leading to charming responses like this. Cliques still reign supreme. The minister's inner circle of chosen pets still rule the roost, leaving the rest of the members on the periphery.

A large majority of respondents feel cared for and treated with Christian love in their congregations. Many described their local church as “family,” a refuge, and a source of strength.

Yet the comments also reveal a quieter reality: some members feel overlooked, lonely, or unsure how to break into established social circles. A number of respondents used words like “cliques,” “inner circle,” or “outsider” to describe their experience.

One comment captured this poignantly: “I have been here almost two years and only a few people even know my name.”

UCG members apparently still have this crazy desire for deep spiritual conversations that aren't being met. In Armstrongism, this is hardly breaking news. Deep, meaningful spiritual conversations were never exactly encouraged. Members weren't supposed to gather in homes for honest discussion without a minister playing babysitter. The second a minister walks in, the real talk dies, honest questions get stifled, and everyone snaps back to script. Imagine a group doing a Bible study together without a single minister or official literature in sight—pure chaos, right?

...many respondents expressed a desire for:

• Practical guidance for Christian living in a rapidly changing world
• More opportunities for meaningful spiritual conversations

Some noted that fellowship can feel superficial, with members unsure how to discuss biblical topics or navigate differences of opinion peacefully. This is an area where congregations can continue to grow— creating environments where spiritual conversations feel natural, safe and enriching. 

Armstrongism has never been big on putting faith into action in our multicultural world. The world was always seen as sinful and out to "get" COG members. The ministry and leadership apparently thought members were so feeble-minded they'd bolt at the first exposure. You rarely saw a COG member volunteering at a homeless shelter or food bank—too risky.

Members expressed a strong desire to be more active in their communities and to shine God’s light beyond the walls of the church. Younger adults in particular expressed interest in service projects, outreach and opportunities to work together in meaningful ways.

Many respondents noted that while personal example is important, coordinated congregational efforts could help members feel more confident and connected in this aspect of the Church’s mission.

The survey ended with this:

This year’s survey paints a picture of a deeply valued Church, but one with opportunities to grow stronger, be more connected and more welcoming.

The most consistent message across all comments is simple: people want to feel included. They want to serve. They want to belong. They want to grow. They want to feel wanted. And they want to help others grow.

These are not tasks assigned to a few—they are responsibilities shared by all of us. Each of us has the ability to notice someone standing alone, to invite someone into a conversation, to ask someone to help, or to offer help themselves. Service is not a checklist; it is a way of being with one another. 

Sadly, for most of the church's existence, members have been viewed as little more than tithing units. Brethren, we need a new jet. We need a new auditorium. We need a college campus. We need new recording studios. We need a new magazine. We need a new web server.

Members soon found out that no matter how much they gave, it was never enough. They thought they were serving. They thought that by serving, they belonged to something bigger than themselves. They wanted to feel wanted for more than their money. Sadly, the church has never looked at them as being needed. Most COG groups count their "members" as tithing units. Those are the real members; the rest are just stragglers mooching off the community.

Imagine, if you can, what today’s Churches of God would be like if they actually practiced 1st Century Christianity as they all claim to do. What a different world we would be living in.

Take Heed! Those who refuse and rebel will die by the SWORD! So says God!

Samuel—our fearless guardian of the one true remnant—has once again dusted off a priceless relic from the golden age of Armstrongism, when the church was supposedly "pure and virtuous" (meaning everyone knew their place and bowed nicely to the fearless leader, of course).

This gem is clearly a tantrum-throwing sermon or Bible Study from some minister—maybe even Herb himself—ranting about all those naughty rebels who dared to question the divine order and exit stage left during the glorious 1970s rebellion era (roughly 1971–1974, when a bunch of ministers and members had the audacity to think for themselves). It's typed on an actual typewriter, so you know it's ancient, authentic, and definitely not another one of those sneaky AI fakes Samuel got caught peddling just the other day. Or, is it?

The classic line gets trotted out yet again: "Those who have rebelled against God have left the Body of Christ." Ah, yes, the favorite epithet the church loved to hurl at anyone who so much as raised an eyebrow or packed their bags. Spoiler alert: It was never true—not then, not now, not ever. Leaving Armstrongism doesn't torpedo your salvation. Shocking, I know.

And naturally, if you're "outside" the one true church, who's running the show? Why, big bad Satan, of course—the ultimate scapegoat for every doctrinal flip-flop, failed prophecy, or inconvenient fact the ministry didn't like. No nuance, no personal responsibility—just straight to the devil's doorstep.

Then comes the real kicker: All those nasty COG splinter groups are wallowing in "iniquity," and under no circumstances should you dare observe Passover with them. Nope, Passover is only legitimate if Samuel (or maybe Bob Thiel, depending on whose ego is louder that week) is presiding over the bread and wine. Everyone else? Spiritually radioactive.

And according to that dramatic final paragraph on page three—keeping Passover the "right" way will literally save your life. Christ will wash you sparkling clean that very night, while everyone who is doomed to death by the sword. (Because nothing says "love and mercy" like a divine hit list tied to your choice of Passover venue.)

Unfortunately—for those trapped in this theology—the cleansing lasts exactly one nanosecond. The moment you partake, you're pristine... right up until you sin again. Which, let's be honest, happens about twenty-five minutes later. Drive out of the Masonic Lodge parking lot (or wherever the "true" service was held), someone cuts you off in traffic, you mutter a less-than-holy word under your breath—BAM! Sin strikes again. Your shiny white robe? Instantly filthy. Back to square one, doomed to wallow in 365 days of miserable, sin-soaked guilt until the next Passover rolls around for your annual reset button.

What a liberating system, right? Truly the pinnacle of spiritual freedom and joy. Who wouldn't want to live like that? In a church where you can never do anything right. Forget the New Covenant with its grace, redemption, and restoration. Who needs that wishy-washy protestant liberal theology! 

Keep clutching those old typewritten sermons, Samuel— they're clearly working wonders and will bring in millions of dollars to buy that auditorium that you so earnestly covet

You Have Less Than A Month To Search Your Home And Life For Unrepented Sins!

It's that magical time of year again in COGland—Passover prep season, where the real countdown begins to their ultra-special version of the holy days. Get ready for weeks of thrilling detective work, hunting down those sneaky "hidden sins" (a.k.a. stray bread crumbs) tucked away in suit coat pockets, toy chests, under couch cushions, or—because why not?—the toolbox out in the garage. Truly, what a spiritually profound exercise.

For so many faithful souls, it's an utterly exhausting marathon, mentally and physically draining, as they spend countless hours de-leavening their homes in a frantic, never-quite-complete quest for perfection. Because, obviously, if even one microscopic crumb survives, the whole family is doomed as wretched, unredeemed sinners. How inspiring.

And let's not forget those golden pulpit moments when ministers would regale the congregation with tales of all the leaven they heroically discovered—conveniently stashed by the children, of course. Nothing says "personal accountability" like blaming the kids for your own lingering sins. Classic move.

But the absolute pinnacle of brilliance? Back in Pasadena, they forced custodial employees to crawl on their hands and knees, armed with nothing but a toothbrush, meticulously scrubbing every last crumb from the teakwood floors in the student center. And the ministers and evangelists who had custodial come in and deleaven their homes for them. Because apparently, God's grace just wasn't enough—someone had to perform extreme manual labor to prove their righteousness. Utterly brilliant, and completely essential... except, oops, the New Covenant requires precisely zero of this nonsense. No physical house-purging mandatory, just the spiritual kind. Who knew?

Greetings from Charlotte,

We are now a month away from the Passover and Days of Unleavened Bread. Let us make sure we are preparing by examining ourselves to find unrepented-of leaven in our lives. Most of us do not have to look too hard to find some significant shortcomings—often ones that we face year after year. What Paul said applies to all of us: “For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do” (Romans 7:15). Nevertheless, with the help of God, we can make real progress at allowing Christ to be formed in us (Galatians 4:19). I sincerely hope that we can all look back over the past year and find spiritual growth in our lives. Either way, we should determine with God’s help to see growth in the year to come. The world makes “New Year’s resolutions” that are almost always quickly broken. Let us strive to do better than that. We will be mailing out a Holy Day letter in the next few days, and I hope you will take time to read and meditate on its content. Until then, have a rewarding Sabbath.

—Gerald E. Weston

Keeping the Feast of Tabernacles in the Kingdom!

Keeping the Feast of Tabernacles in the Kingdom!

Herbert Armstrong and his followers have used a passage from the prophet Zechariah to "prove" that people will still be observing the Feast of Tabernacles after Christ returns. In that book, we read: "Then everyone who survives of all the nations that have come against Jerusalem shall go up year after year to worship the King, the Lord of hosts, and to keep the Feast of Booths. And if any of the families of the earth do not go up to Jerusalem to worship the King, the Lord of hosts, there will be no rain on them. And if the family of Egypt does not go up and present themselves, then on them there shall be no rain; there shall be the plague with which the Lord afflicts the nations that do not go up to keep the Feast of Booths. This shall be the punishment to Egypt and the punishment to all the nations that do not go up to keep the Feast of Booths." (Zechariah 14:16-19, ESV) Well, what about it? Does this passage prove that Christians should be keeping the Feast of Tabernacles/Booths?

This post will demonstrate that Armstrong and his followers have completely ignored the context of this passage of Scripture and have misapplied and misinterpreted it so that they can use it in the capacity of one of their "prooftexts" for their contention that Christians are still obligated to observe certain provisions of Torah. Hence, we will examine the context of this passage within the book of Zechariah, and in the broader context of other passages which deal with the Feast of Tabernacles/Booths. In other words, we will use the whole Bible approach to properly understand this passage and demonstrate that Armstrong completely misunderstood and misapplied the meaning and import of this prophecy.

First, we must look at this passage's context within the book of Zechariah. Thus, backing up a few verses from the passage in question, we read: "Behold, a day is coming for the Lord, when the spoil taken from you will be divided in your midst. For I will gather all the nations against Jerusalem to battle, and the city shall be taken and the houses plundered and the women raped. Half of the city shall go out into exile, but the rest of the people shall not be cut off from the city. Then the Lord will go out and fight against those nations as when he fights on a day of battle. On that day his feet shall stand on the Mount of Olives that lies before Jerusalem on the east, and the Mount of Olives shall be split in two from east to west by a very wide valley, so that one half of the Mount shall move northward, and the other half southward. And you shall flee to the valley of my mountains, for the valley of the mountains shall reach to Azal. And you shall flee as you fled from the earthquake in the days of Uzziah king of Judah. Then the Lord my God will come, and all the holy ones with him. On that day there shall be no light, cold, or frost. And there shall be a unique day, which is known to the Lord, neither day nor night, but at evening time there shall be light. On that day living waters shall flow out from Jerusalem, half of them to the eastern sea and half of them to the western sea. It shall continue in summer as in winter. And the Lord will be king over all the earth. On that day the Lord will be one and his name one." (Zechariah 14:1-9, ESV) Notice, that this is clearly referring to the return of Jesus Christ to this earth.

In the New Testament, we are informed that Christ and his apostles gathered on the Mount of Olives prior to his ascension to heaven. We read: "So when they had come together, they asked him, 'Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?' He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.' And when he had said these things, as they were looking on, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. And while they were gazing into heaven as he went, behold, two men stood by them in white robes, and said, 'Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into heaven? This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.' Then they returned to Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is near Jerusalem, a Sabbath day's journey away." (Acts 1:6-12, ESV) Thus, the two men in white robes confirmed Zechariah's prophecy of long ago - that someday Christ would return to the Mount of Olives to establish his kingdom over the entire earth.

This, of course, is also consistent with Christ's own statement that he came to this earth to fulfill the Law and the Prophets (Matthew 5:17). Indeed, the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) are literally chocked-full of references to Christ doing just that - fulfilling the Law and the Prophets of the Hebrew Bible. As we have mentioned many times here, Christ and his apostles used the Hebrew Bible to teach people about HIM - they were the ONLY Scriptures available to them at the time (the New Testament had NOT been written yet)! In the Gospel of John, we read that "Philip found Nathanael and said to him, 'We have found him of whom Moses in the Law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.'" (John 1:45, ESV) In the Gospel of Luke, we are informed that Christ told his disciples: "These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you, that everything written about me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.' Then he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures, and said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance for the forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem." (Luke 24:44-47, ESV)

Likewise, the Apostle Paul wrote to the saints of Colossae: "See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead. And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him. Therefore, let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ." (Colossians 2:8-17, ESV) The NLT renders that last passage: "For these rules are only shadows of the reality yet to come. And Christ himself is that reality." In other words, the Sabbaths, festivals, and new moons pointed to Christ.

Now, we know that in ancient times, the Feast of Temporary Dwellings/Tabernacles/Booths memorialized the time that the children of Israel had wandered in the wilderness - living in temporary shelters, and the ingathering of the fall harvest in the Promised Land. What does that have to do with Jesus of Nazareth and his ministry?

In the Gospel of John, we read: "And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth." (John 1:14, KJV) According to Blue Letter Bible, the Greek word translated here into English as "dwelt" literally means "to fix one's tabernacle, have one's tabernacle, abide (or live) in a tabernacle (or tent), tabernacle"! Notice how this same passage appears in some of the other English translations of the Bible: "So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son." (NLT) "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." (NIV) "And the Word became flesh, and did tabernacle among us, and we beheld his glory, glory as of an only begotten of a father, full of grace and truth." (YLT, Young's Literal Translation) So, like the Jews of old, this Jew from Nazareth temporarily pitched his tent/booth among his people!

Likewise, in the epistle to the Hebrews, we read that Jesus was "for a little while" made lower than the angels (Hebrews 2:9, ESV). Continuing, in that same passage, we read: "Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore, he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted." (Hebrews 2:14-18, ESV) Just like us, Jesus Christ tabernacled in the same flesh and blood, temporary dwelling, that each of us as humans currently inhabit!

Interestingly, the temporary nature of our current dwellings is a recurring theme in Scripture. Paul wrote to the saints at Corinth about the salvation that they had through Jesus Christ though it was currently contained in "jars of clay" (II Corinthians 4:7, ESV). A little later, in the same letter, he wrote: "For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands." (II Corinthians 5:1, NIV) In similar fashion, Peter wrote this about salvation through Jesus Christ: "Wherefore, I will not be careless always to remind you concerning these things, though, having known them, and having been established in the present truth, and I think right, so long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up in reminding [you], having known that soon is the laying aside of my tabernacle, even as also our Lord Jesus Christ did shew to me, and I will be diligent that also at every time ye have, after my outgoing, power to make to yourselves the remembrance of these things." (II Peter 1:12-15, YLT)

Alright, we've addressed the symbolism of the temporary dwelling, but what about the harvest aspect of this festival? Jesus equated his work in some of his parables to the harvest (see the Parable of the Sower and the Parable of the Weeds). In the Gospel of Matthew, we read: "And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore, pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.'" (Matthew 9:35-38, ESV) Over and over again, Christ portrayed himself as a crop farmer or shepherd of flocks who expected his work to bear fruit or produce a harvest. After all, Scripture even referred to Jesus as the first of the first fruits of the great harvest!

Hence, as we have demonstrated that this festival pointed to Jesus Christ, we are ready to return to the passage in question and give it another look. In the fourteenth chapter of Zechariah, we read: "In the end, the enemies of Jerusalem who survive the plague will go up to Jerusalem each year to worship the King, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, and to celebrate the Festival of Shelters. Any nation in the world that refuses to come to Jerusalem to worship the King, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, will have no rain. If the people of Egypt refuse to attend the festival, the Lord will punish them with the same plague that he sends on the other nations who refuse to go. Egypt and the other nations will all be punished if they don’t go to celebrate the Festival of Shelters." (Zechariah 14:16-19, NLT) Notice, that I chose to use the New Living Translation of this passage, because I believe it better conveys the intent of the Hebrew verb "hagag" which indicates celebrating rather than simply keeping or observing a day or time. Moreover, this same Hebrew verb is used in the twenty-third chapter of Leviticus to describe THIS festival - that the Israelites were expected to celebrate it (the same terminology is not used of the other festivals listed there).

Thus, when we put all of this together, Zechariah is clearly predicting a time when the whole earth will celebrate the fact that Jesus Christ tabernacled in the flesh and inaugurated the great harvest which will then be in full swing! Notice again, the language which the prophet used in this passage: (they) "will go up to Jerusalem each year to worship the King, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, and to celebrate the Festival of Shelters." In other words, worshipping the king is considered an integral part of this particular celebration. Hence, we must conclude that Zechariah is referring to a celebration of Jesus Christ and what he has done for the whole earth, rather than a simple resurrection of the physical observance of one of the festivals of Torah! In short, this prediction is much more profound and meaningful than anything Herbert Armstrong or his followers ever imagined!

Posted by Miller Jones/Lonnie C Hendrix

Safety First: It’s Time for Churches of God to Be Better Prepared

In times of global tension, it is wise for churches—especially smaller Sabbath-keeping fellowships—to review basic safety practices without fear or alarm. Prayer is essential, but it is not enough to simply pray and take no practical action. Scripture calls us to be both trusting and prudent: “Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves” (Matthew 10:16), and “The prudent sees danger and hides himself” (Proverbs 22:3). It is true that most incidents involving churches are not tied to international events but to local, personal, or mental health situations. Even so, moments of heightened global tension should prompt us to examine our preparedness and strengthen simple safeguards. Nehemiah prayed, had faith, and yet still set a watch (Nehemiah 4:9). Church of God congregations should follow this stellar example by combining prayer with practical vigilance.

Many Churches of God are small, relational, and welcoming—strengths that should be preserved. Unfortunately, safety is often not considered a priority. There are, however, simple, low-cost measures that can make a meaningful difference: keeping doors locked once services begin, designating one main entrance, posting a greeter or two at the door at all times, and avoiding propped-open side doors. Leaders should ensure someone is always ready to contact emergency services if needed. Children’s areas should follow basic check-in and two-adult guidelines. These steps do not create a fortress mentality; they simply reduce vulnerability while maintaining a warm, inviting atmosphere.

Church security need not feel militarized or fearful. A visible presence, basic first-aid supplies, and non-lethal defensive tools—such as pepper spray or even a medium-sized fire extinguisher, which can be very effective in delaying or stopping an attacker—can all be utilized. It is time for the Churches of God to become more safety-conscious and better prepared, combining faith with thoughtful vigilance to protect the congregations, especially the children entrusted to their care.

Aristophanes

Its All about Me

Oh, where do we even begin with these paragons of humility and divine appointment? Never have the people of God been blessed with such a glorious saga of self-proclaimed saviors in the endless parade of Church of God splinters.

When Bob Thiel burst onto the scene in 2012, the entire Church of God world collectively gasped in awe at the arrival of the most self-absorbed narcissist ever to launch a splinter group. It was all about him—his magnificent website, his breathtaking articles, his unparalleled theological brilliance. The world had never before witnessed such a beacon of doctrinal purity. No historian in the vast arc of human history had ever been more accurate. No prophet of God had ever been purer or more prophetically spot-on. Clearly, the entire sweep of Christianity needed to drop to its knees and bow at his feet in humble adoration. And with each passing year, he somehow manages to outdo himself in sheer, unadulterated grandeur. Impressive escalation, really.

Then along came Samuel Kitchen, strutting in with his shiny new-and-improved "Worldwide Church of God"—a thrilling congregation consisting of himself and a handful of unemployed loyalists (give or take a brother). He and his sibling fancied themselves the noble saviors of the church, heroically preserving the writings, publications, and videos of Herbert W. Armstrong and his crew. How touching. Of course, they didn't just "preserve"—they outright swiped the booklets, articles, videos, and other property once owned by the original WCG/CGI outfits. Then, in a masterstroke of branding genius, they stole the name "Worldwide Church of God" too. Timothy soon tired of the family circus and bolted for the greener (or at least less delusional) pastures of the United Church of God, leaving Samuel to solo-run his mind-boggling ministry. A ministry, mind you, that is first, foremost, and exclusively about himself—with God dutifully tagging along as his personal hype man.

His latest letter triumphantly lists all his jaw-dropping accomplishments—most of which sound suspiciously like the itinerary of an average tourist with a religious-themed travel blog. 

In 2022, he and three or four other brave souls trekked off to Jerusalem for the Feast. Apparently, he thought he was going to dazzle the streets with Herbert's theological landmines and single-handedly revive the Work. Alas, some unscrupulous Muslims had the audacity to take his money and refuse him the accommodations he demanded. A couple of his ragtag followers slunk back to the U.S. in defeat, while he and one other woman decamped to Jordan. There, the Jordanians—clearly recognizing divine royalty—rolled out the red carpet for God's most astonishing prophet as he scoped out Petra, the future rallying point for his mighty army of misfits. Epic.

By 2023, undeterred, he boldly claimed the corporate name "Worldwide Church of God," positioning himself as its official representative in this latter-day dispensation. Because nothing says "legitimate successor" like expecting everyone who remembers the glory days to instantly recognize him as the fresh, updated face of the church. Genius marketing.

In 2024, brother Timothy finally had enough of the escalating nuttiness, jumped the sinking ship (again), and joined the United Church of God. This left God's most cherished repository of Herbertism floundering—until Samuel heroically stepped in to rescue it and restore it to what is surely God's all-time favorite website. Meanwhile, poor Bob Thiel was reportedly spotted whimpering in the corner of his little brown world headquarters in Grover Beach, devastated by the shocking turn of events. The humanity!

Fast-forward to 2025: He returned to Jerusalem and—hold onto your hats—stood in a street! The world shook. Jerusalem quaked. The Temple Mount rocked on its ancient foundations. The planet was forever changed. Tourists really do have that kind of impact, apparently. Then he kept Passover and Unleavened Bread right there in the holy city. Whoop-de-doo. Truly earth-shattering.

A couple of months ago, his holy feet graced the once-sacred grounds of the old Ambassador College campus in Pasadena. The earth trembled yet again as those sanctified soles trod the hallowed Bouquet Canyon paving stones. His gaze finally settled upon the sacred House of God—the Ambassador Auditorium—where the Almighty once dwelled in peace and harmony for nearly 25 glorious years... until the Great Apostasy hit and He was served an eviction notice, and it was handed over to a bunch of Pentecostal pogo-jumping, slain-in-the-spirit types. The very kind Herbert Armstrong despised with every fiber of his being!

And then—miracle of miracles—God dispatched Michael the Archangel himself to whisper sweet nothings into Samuel's ear: "Thou must raise 45 million dollars and buy the Auditorium!" Shockingly, the archangel forgot to mention the part about also snapping up Herbert's old mansion (also conveniently for sale). Imagine: Samuel could live on campus, stroll down each day, and tickle the ivories on the auditorium stage piano just like Herbert used to. Isn't the Work of God just amazing? Truly, the mind boggles at the divine priorities.

These men aren't just leading churches—they're rewriting the very definition of humility, one grandiose self-proclamation at a time. Stay tuned for the next chapter in this never-ending ego odyssey.

In 2022, I announced the existence of the Worldwide Church of God meeting in Jerusalem to keep the Feasts of the Lord. We ended up keeping them in Petra, Jordan.

In 2023, in Philadelphia PA, I launched a new website for the Church. (worldwidechurchofgod.org)

In 2024, I saved the WWCG-archives website domain from being lost. I then added it to the main website. This domain is what was used in All video and All articles on social media before. The loss of this would have completely destroyed what God had been doing through me.

In 2025, Members of the Worldwide Church of God stood up in Jerusalem.

I kept the Passover, and Days of Unleavened Bread in Jerusalem.

We kept the Feast of Trumpets, Day of Atonement and Feast of Tabernacles and last great day, there in Jerusalem.

In 2026, I went to Pasadena in January, to commemorate the closure of 40 years in the wilderness since the death of Herbert W Armstrong. And to honor Christ’s apostle. I announced the people of God should leave the modern day groups of “Korah, Dathan and Abiram”.

In February, I announced the desire and plans to purchase the Ambassador Auditorium, announcing God’s will to bring His Tithes and His Offerings to do God’s Work and to give God’s name Glory.

No one else is doing this.

What people don’t understand, is that Jesus Christ for many many years has been stirring up His Church members, to exit these other groups.

Not one of these groups is headed by Jesus Christ. God is NOT building their houses.

The Worldwide Church of God is HIS HOUSE.

If you study Joshua, after the forty years in the wilderness, and death of Moses, the next step was to magnify the one God is using next.

In this case, I am the only one fighting for, and working a work for the Philadelphia candlestick! Everyone else is busy creating “their groups”, and trying to siphon away the membership of the Worldwide Church of God.

I am not starting a “new group”. This is the Worldwide Church of God which Jesus Christ raised up!

Now with the work announced. I also have warned of the curses of God coming on those who do not want to obey Him! The countdown is ticking.

If you study, Malachi, Haggai, Zechariah, and Isaiah(plus more of course), but these all talk about a period of plagues, drought, famine, and curses from God for disobedience! It also goes back to Leviticus 26!

So now God will be magnifying whom He is working through. It won’t be a human work. It will be a spiritual and divine work.

The Work of God!

Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit says God!

Right after the forty years in the wilderness, God made it clear who He was working through. The Word of God is unbreakable! Gods will fulfill everything in it!

Study Joshua. For that is what we are seeing spiritually being fulfilled today.

Those outside of the Church, in these groups, are called upon to repent and believe God! To come out of them!

These groups are church structures of Satan the Devil. They teach you how to be a Babylonian “church of God”. Oh how they do lie.(Rev. 3:9)

The way was prepared through Mr Herbert W Armstrong. The Spiritual Temple is the Worldwide Church of God! That is the future wife of Jesus Christ, who is called the Bride.

The Wife shall rule with Christ on earth forever! After a thousand years, Jesus Christ will present to the Father, the Wife!!!

We have faced much indoctrination from thae groups. To teach us contrary to what we receved from Christ in the Worldwide Church of God.

The true Church continues on.

The Work of God continues.

Only those who fear God will obey Him.