Worldwide: The Unchosen Church Podcast - The Closet, the Cult and the College: An Interview With DJ Grothe

 

DJ Grothe is the former host of the podcasts Point of Inquiry and For Good Reason and the past president of the James Randi Educational Foundation.  While he has interviewed hundreds of skeptic and scientific leaders, he rarely tells his own story of how he attended a little Bible college in the piney woods of East Texas, called Ambassador University.  In this episode, I sit down to ask DJ why he joined the homophobic Worldwide Church of God when he was 14 years old - the same year that he came out as gay and the same year he started getting into magic. We also talk about how his background in magic and a magazine housed in Ambassador University's library helped to lead him out of the doomsday apocalyptic cult he had once joined, and why today, he says he's grateful for the entire experience.

When the City of Pasadena Investigated Ambassador College For Its Racism: Was the Church Inherently Racist?

A reader asked for this to be republished:

Various Church of God apologists love to claim that the church was never racist at its core beliefs.  Almost-arrested Elisha, Elijah Habakuk, Amos Bob Thiel makes many such claims.  But all of them fail to take into account that the church and Ambassador College had written into its constitution racist ideas.  That constitution was greatly affected on the church believing in the erroneous myth of British Israelism and superiority of the white nations who were supposedly descendants of the 12 tribes, who as we all know, were pure lily-white.

It was so obvious and bad that the City of Pasadena investigated the church/college in 1963.

"Incidentally, regarding the Anglo-Israel theory, none other than Garner Ted Armstrong, being interviewed by the Rev. Lester Kinsolving, a syndicated religious writer for the public press, when queried about it, smiled and replied: "It's a likelihood (British Israelism), but it can't be proved. It's an interesting aside. We certainly don't regard this as a required belief, if that's what you're getting at." When Kinsolving pointed out that in 1963 during an investigation of Ambassador College by the Pasadena City Attorney, it was learned that the school's constitution and by-laws, adopted in 1951, restricted the student body "to the race of Israel, whom we believe now to be the white, English speaking Anglo-Saxon and Celtic people, and the democratic peoples of Northwestern Europe, in addition to the Jews descended from the Kingdom of Judah", he said Armstrong appeared surprised and hurriedly said: "That must have been while I was in the Navy. It's been altered dramatically. We have no such restrictions." Armstrongism: The "Worldwide Church God" Examined in the Searching Light of Scripture, Sumner, 1974 

 

There is an advantage of having a huge personal collection of books written about the Worldwide Church of God, Herbert Armstrong, and Armstrongism over the last 70 some years.  Embarrassing facts are in print that can never be erased from the world no matter how much the lying false prophets of Armstrongism attempt to.

Mayfair - Pasadena Campus For Sale

Here is your chance to buy one of the original buildings that Herbert Armstrong bought to start the Pasadena campus.  Mayfair served for many years as the dorm for men, women and cafeteria for the students.  Annie Mann, one of the orginal Pasadena campus workers who lived here till she died.

You too can live here for a pittance:  $8,380,000.00

10 bedrooms and 10 bathrooms

Sotheby's

182 S ORANGE GROVE BOULEVARD 

PASADENA, CA 91105

Charles Hunting 1919-2011

CHARLES FREEMAN HUNTING (1919 – 2011)

Charles Freeman Hunting (commonly known as “CFH”), a figure well known in Worldwide Church of God (WCG) circles and its offshoots, died at a hospice in Sarasota, Florida, on 11th of November, 2011 – Veterans Day (or Remembrance / Armistice Day). He was just short of his 93rd birthday.

CFH was a strong and colorful personality, handsome in appearance and very persuasive in vocal delivery. Friends and opponents alike considered him a person of charm and warmth, with a mischievous streak. Charles could be insensitive and overly candid in expressing his opinions, although he had a reputation for being honest. He was a gifted speaker who could both inspire and instill fear. At the height of his career in the WCG, he was one of the top five executives, and met dignitaries, presidents and royalty in many countries, including Emperor Haile Selassie, Golda Meir, Yigal Yadin, Gideon Hausner, King Leopold, and the presidents of Lebanon and Egypt. His life can be conveniently segmented into three stages – the roughly 35 years before joining the WCG, the 20 years as part of that organization, and the 35 plus years of a relatively quiet life after separation from the group. 

Charles Hunting was the second and last child of Charles and Esther Hunting, born on 11th January 1919 in Santa Monica, California. He attended Redlands High School, then 3 years at San Bernardino College and one year at UCLA. Shortly thereafter WWII started and he volunteered for the Navy as a trainee pilot, received 6 or so weeks of flight training for combat fighters, and was dispatched on an aircraft carrier to the Pacific theatre. During the battle of Guadalcanal in late 1942 he was shot down by “friendly fire”, wanted to bail out, but his parachute was riddled with machine gun fire and full of blood. The plane crashed into the ocean, he survived and was rescued by locals paddling out on canoes. CFH continued to fly fighter and dive bombing combat missions from carriers till the end of the war, and was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross and the Purple Heart.

During the war CFH met Miss Veryle Cheney who served in the navy’s Medical Corp. After the war romance blossomed and in 1946 they apparently eloped across the border to Mexico where they were married. The coupled settled in Long Beach, California and had three children. CFH started a business refitting and refurbishing electrical transformers, having learnt the basics for the trade from a relative. It became very successful. Charles remained in the Navy Reserves and was training on jet planes when he abruptly resigned in 1956, just six months before he was to qualify for a Navy pension. He was a Lieutenant Commander when he retired. This unusual action was triggered by Charles’s decision to dedicate his life to the WCG church, which had been founded in the 1930’s by Herbert W Armstrong (HWA), and was a pacifist organization.

The family moved to Pasadena where in 1958, aged 39, CFH enrolled for a BA in liberal arts at the church’s training institution, Ambassador College (AC). His credits from previous tertiary studies reduced the normal time of four years by one, and thus he was never a sophomore. In his freshman year his first part-time job on the campus was on the garbage collection crew, but his progress within the organization thereafter was rather meteoric. His junior year saw him in charge of “the mail reading division” which handled the thousands of inquiries and requests for church literature, and appointed the lead on a two man team visiting church supporters. Charles was also a sportsman of note. In each of his two years at the Pasadena campus, he was the tennis champion and best hand ball player. In his senior year he was the Student Body President, ordained a minister in the WCG and transferred, with his family, to the Bricket Wood (Hertfordshire, UK) campus in March 1961, three months prior to graduation. In June 1961 he received his BA in the first graduation ceremony for the English campus, and was then given a flurry of responsibilities --- appointed as a lecturer at the English campus, made its bursar, appointed to Business Manager of the WCG’s activities in Europe, ordained a minister of the WCG, and designated the pastor of the Bristol WCG church. In 1962 he was raised to the level of “preaching elder”, and later in the same year ordained as a “pastor” rank minister. In January 1964 he was ordained an “evangelist”, bringing the total number of evangelists in the WCG to 12 at that time. In December 1969 he was appointed as one of the nine Vice Presidents of the WCG. He formed an effective team with the Regional Director for Europe, Raymond McNair.

In the mid-1960’s, HWA began to form personal friendships with a number of powerful figures, particularly in Israel, Germany and Asia. These included kings, dictators, high officials, as well as elected presidents. CFH, as one of HWA’s trusted advisers, was a frequent traveling companion (often along with his wife Veryle) on these trips, which took them across the globe. These travels were undertaken while still performing all his other responsibilities. Unfortunately, Charles’s wife Veryle died of cancer in 1973 and was buried on the campus grounds. Apparently in that year HWA indicated to CFH that he would eventually be elevated to the number two position in the organization, and that he would need to move to Pasadena. However there was considerable opposition to this plan and it never eventuated. Instead in 1974 CFH was appointed the regional director of the entire WCG activities in the UK, Europe and the Middle East, whilst the incumbent in that job, Raymond McNair, was transferred to Pasadena. 

During this time the WCG began to experience a series of crises. Various scandals shook the church, and several senior ministers and internal theologians began to question some of the doctrines. CFH was persuaded that some of the core teachings were in error. He spoke out, and his relationship with the WCG ended in late 1975. He resolved not to take a salary again from a religious organization; however, he never lost his faith in God and Christianity.

CFH threw his still considerable energies into making a living, and became involved in, among other ventures, construction in Dubai and golf courses in Spain. In 1980 he married again. His new wife was Barbara Greville-Smith, an English widow whom he had met in Spain, and whose best friend was Mrs. Yolande Farrell of Sarasota. Yolande and her husband Dick Farrell formed a longstanding close friendship with Charles. The Hunting’s moved to Vero Beach, Florida, where they lived in a duplex that CFH built. He resumed studying biblical doctrines privately and with help from Sir Anthony Buzzard was soon convinced of the Christian non-Trinitarian view of God, and co-wrote a book with him on the subject. He became a supporter of Buzzard’s Restoration Fellowship for many years. 

The year 1997 was traumatic as first his mother died, then both his only sister Frances and her husband Jack Bryan also died, and finally his wife Barbara passed away from cancer. Although Charles, now 78, became a man of considerable means due to his brother-in-law and sister’s estate being left to him, he chose to live his remaining years without flare or extravagance. He briefly moved to Atlanta, Georgia, and shortly thereafter in 1998 bought a modest 2 bedroom stucco semi-detached cottage close by his friends the Farrell’s in Sarasota, where he lived happily until his death. He supported humanitarian projects in the Philippines and Africa, making overseas visits on several occasions there and to relatives and friends in Australia until his health made it impractical. As with many hard-driving, successful men, his great regret was that he was not closer to his immediate family members.

About four years ago his health began to decline and he eventually needed kidney dialysis. CFH outlived his close friend Dick Farrell. Mrs. Yolande Farrell helped care for him in the last years of his life as he became increasingly infirm, although she herself was already in her 80’s. Charles was admitted to hospital in early November, and a few days before he died was moved to a hospice. His youngest son, Paul, daughter Sidni and her husband Dennis, together with Mrs. Farrell, were with him in his final days. His eldest son Chris, in Australia, was unable to travel there. CFH died in his sleep, and was buried in the Department of Veterans Affairs Sarasota National Cemetery.

Charles Freeman Hunting is survived by his three children, Chris, Sidni and Paul, as well as nine grandchildren and eleven great-grandchildren. Chris Hunting suggests the following should be his epitaph:

“A unique individual who achieved much. Respected and admired by most, 
feared by many; a truly larger than life character, but not without human flaws”

[Obituary prepared by Dr. Garry de Jager, Robert Gerringer and Chris Hunting]

Rod Meredith and the Manpower Papers

Here is something that was conveniently left out of Rod Meredith's recent film about himself.   Why didn't Rod Meredith discuss his participation in the Manpower group at Ambassador College where he maligned, disparaged and ridiculed students every week.  From sex to racist and homophobic comments, accusation of masturbation, students genetic make-up, sex, dating, sex, attitudes, sex, physique, and more sex. Why did the Living Church of God gloss over these qualities of Rod Meredith? Richard Ames knows better!

The Manpower Papers

In 1961 at the behest of the Armstrongs a "manpower committee" comprising 15 of the leading men of Ambassador College (AC) was formed. The noble purpose of this committee was to evaluate AC students-especially male students-and determine whether or not to employ them at AC or in the Worldwide Church of God (WCG) upon graduation. The Manpower Committee, however, quickly degenerated into a high-level gossip session in which a group of corporate misfits combined to destroy the reputation of numerous students whose only offense may have been intellectual resistance to the doctrinal intimidation and personal prejudices of AC/WCG officials while attending to their formal education.

Before any discussion of a student began, his picture was projected onto a screen. Then, as the members of this "spiritual jury" stared at the student's image, each one of them divulged information - often given to them confidentially in private counseling sessions - gathered on the student. This information often included a student's background, racial and genetic heritage, sex and dating problems, attitudes, and physique, in addition to biased personal assessments of a student's potential worth to the organization.

Below Ambassador Report is reprinting a number of statements made in these manpower meetings that aptly illustrate the mentality of the Ambassador College administration in the 1960s. Little if any concrete evidence for the allegations, innuendos, or rumors in the following quotations was ever formally submitted, probably because it never existed. All students were tried in absentia and never given a chance to reply to the biased information disseminated in these meetings that sullied their reputations. Yet the essence of what was said in these meetings was carefully typed and distributed to several leading men at AC in Pasadena, the vice-chancellor of AC's Texas campus, and AC's Personnel Office. (In order to protect the identity and reputation of the students mentioned in the following statements, we will refer to all male students as "X" and to all females students as "Y." We have gone to great lengths to delete anything that we felt could lead to the identification of a student.)

Read the comments Rod Meredith and others made here: Manpower Papers

The Story of Bruce and the Worldwide Church of God/Armstrongism

Douglas has a poignant post on DNA Refutes British Israelism about a former WCG member who experienced first hand the "brotherly love" of the ministry and members after years of dedicated service.  It is appalling and utterly disgusting what the church and the members did to this guy. You can read the entire article here:  Cult Life: Bruce

Bruce felt the world was screwed up, and coupled with his being highly religious, he went on a quest to both find a religion and to satisfy his desire to prove the world at large wrong. He tried some rather fringe cultic types of Christian congregational churches with political leanings, but it wasn't until he listened to the World Tomorrow on Radio that he connected with his new religious reality.

Ambassador College, the Radio Church of God, The Plain Truth and Herbert Armstrong had an answer for everything in a neat package, and in 1962, he took the plunge. He had significant savings he had stored up over the years -- enough that he could afford to do what he wanted for several years without having to work because he was industrious, prudent with his money and frugal.

This was perfect for this particular British Israelism Cult: A man with money they could rip off.
Bruce impressed the college entrance personnel and started at Ambassador College in 1962. A year later, Garner Ted Armstrong told him that Bruce should seek to serve the work elsewhere: His technical interests were getting in the way of his path to becoming the smarmy picture perfect plastic minister material they were looking for.

Bruce left and worked "out in the world". He settled into a church area in the Pacific Northwest and found a job making plenty of money from repairing cameras -- a result of just one of his technical hobbies of photography, building telescopes from scratch for astronomy, rock collecting and polishing, building electronics including high end amplifiers and phonographs replete with speakers. Everything he did was quality.

Bruce was generous, and besides "loaning" tens of thousands of dollars to the Radio Church of God at another crisis brought on by the profligate spending of the cult leader, he also gave people stuff. He gave them jewelry he had made, polished rocks (some with more than sentimental value), loaned people high fidelity collections -- he gave freely and generously. He also loaned over 6,000 quality 35mm slides he had taken over the years to Ambassador College and many of them were used for the front cover of The Plain Truth and The Good News.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, Bruce was temporarily unemployed. Though he was a bachelor, he had a nice apartment with several bedrooms. A family in the cult had a husband and father who was also out of work and needed a place for a family of five to stay, so Bruce, not wanting to......

 read the rest of the article at the link above.

Dreaming in Arabic

With over 2,300 first time visitors each week now I thought I would repost this story about life in Armstrongism

CHAPTER ONE

IN THE BEGINNING

I grew up in the Worldwide Church of God, an organization labeled “cult” by most of mainstream Christianity. At the head of it, was Herbert W. Armstrong, a forceful personality, with a unique interpretation of scripture. I grew up believing that we in the Worldwide Church of God were the only true Christians in the world. My mother told me a story of how when I was a toddler in the stroller and
we were passing by a large old church, I pointed and said “Man's way.”

The Worldwide Church of God took a lot of their beliefs from the Old Testament. Being young, I never really understood why some of the ancient laws were kept and some were discarded. I'm sure there was a reason and I'm sure it made sense to the adults. At least, I hope it did. I've never felt bad for being part of a group that taught Biblically unsound doctrines. I was a child and a child will believe in Santa Claus if you tell them with enough conviction. But I do wonder about the adults and why they were so quick to let someone interpret the Bible for them. My husband, who is eight years older than me, said that it wasn't so much the doctrine that attracted him as much as the emphasis on righteous living. And there was an emphasis on righteous living. But unfortunately most people were not living up to the high standards we taught.

I think another draw for a lot of people was the emphasis on prophecy. I grew up believing that someday, before a great tribulation fell upon the world, we believers would be taken to a place of safety where we would be hidden from the wrath that fell on everyone else. Herbert W. Armstrong had a radio show and a television show called The World Tomorrow where he preached out of Daniel and
Revelation and gave his own unique interpretations. I think there were quite a few people who joined the church to escape the great tribulation.

It was believed that the place of safety was Petra, in Jordan. Mr. Armstrong would travel around the world as an “ambassador for peace” and one of the people he met was King Hussein of Jordan. The church had some sort of outreach to handicapped children in Jordan. Since Petra was in Jordan and Mr.
Armstrong was a “friend” of King Hussein, it was taught that we would all fly to Jordan and stay in Petra for the duration of the tribulation. I have some vague recollection that at some point, soldiers of the world would surround Petra and threaten us all, but that heavenly retribution would strike them down. What was more critical to people was what they would bring to survive the years in Petra. One woman said she was going to bring two suitcases of maxi pads.

As a child, I once packed a small briefcase full of my favourite books and then carried it around with me, even if we went across the city on the subway, because it was said that we could be called to flee at any moment. One of my childhood fears was that I would come home from school and find my mother and younger brothers gone and that I would somehow have to make my way to the airport (by taxi, I suppose) or else I would miss the flight to safety. Contacting my dad at work was not an option. He wasn't a member of the Worldwide Church of God and therefore would have to face the tribulation. When it was preached from the pulpit that during that horrible time the guillotine would probably be restored as a form of punishment I resigned myself to my dad's inevitable fate. You see, my dad knew too much. He had lived with a believing wife and would therefore have to stand up for the truth in the future time of persecution and would be punished for his belated realization that everything the church taught was true.

The Great Tribulation would be followed by the Wonderful World Tomorrow. It would be a time of peace and prosperity on the earth with the members of the Worldwide Church of God in positions of leadership. There would be a resurrection of the righteous and great Biblical men like Daniel and Noah would have important jobs. King David would be the king, but under Moses. The twelve apostles would be under David. Below them would be rulers of smaller bodies of land.

Daniel would be in charge of the Gentile nations because he had had all that experience in King Nebuchadnezzar's court. Paul, the apostle to the Gentiles, would be immediately under Daniel. Noah would be in charge of relocating the races to their designated lands. Joseph would administer the world's food supply. Job would head up a worldwide rebuilding program, something much needed after the devastation of the Great Tribulation. His assistant would be Zerubbabel, a man who had helped to rebuild Jerusalem after the Jewish captivity in Babylon.

The world would be educated in the way's of God. Christ would rule the world from Jerusalem. All animals would be tame and as a child, I heard the question, “Wouldn't you like to have a lion as a pet?” In anticipation of all of this, the Worldwide Church of God had a lion and a lamb with a little child in front as its ubiquitous logo.

When it came to practicing the laws of the Old Testament, we didn't eat pork or any kind of shellfish so pepperoni pizza never passed my lips, nor did lobster or shrimp. We kept all of God's commanded Feast Days. People took the days off work and kids took the days off school to attend church services. Feasts were a social time. The Feast of Tabernacles meant a trip somewhere and a tithe was saved all year to fund it. Church services were held in convention centers and other rented halls or rooms all around the world.

In Toronto, our local Feast of Tabernacles site was Niagara Falls but my parents favored the sites in Florida. Florida had the attraction of Disney World and Busch Gardens and the beach and the plane trip. But it didn't have my friends so I always felt edgy, like I was missing something and that when I got back, my best friend, who had gone to Niagara Falls, would have had a funner time. “Feast flings” were common and many single adults used the time to try to find a mate. (Naturally, we weren't allowed to marry outside the church.) There were lots of officially organized activities as well as countless hotel room parties.

Alcohol was never prohibited by the church so our Feasts were truly festive. I remember one Feast when I was in my early twenties and the first place my best friend and I went to when we got to Niagara Falls was the liquor store. Nothing delicate for us. It was tequila and gin and vermouth and we mixed some pretty mean martinis! I remember one young man commenting on the strength of our cocktails, half-impressed, half-alarmed.

There were also stories of the ministers and their hotel room parties. Lots of drinking, but more along the lines of wine and champagne. They were pretty exclusive, not too much mixing with the regular folks, so they were talked about with a tone of awe. The official teaching was that the ministers had an extra-measure of God's spirit.

There was an even more sordid side to the Feast which it took me til my mid-twenties to become aware of. The worst thing a WCG kid could do was fornicate. I mean, murder under certain circumstances might be understood, but fornication was unforgivable. The Feast, which was supposed to picture God's future millennial kingdom on earth, was often the place most likely for WCG teens and singles to commit the unpardonable sin. Something about new people and hotel rooms and lots of booze and money flowing. It just seemed to happen a lot.

You can read the rest of her book here as a pdf Dreaming in Arabic

Big Sandy Campus Featured In Primetime Nightline Story

I while back I had an entry on The Alert Academy who bought the Big Sandy campus.  It is run by a fundamentalist Baptist oriented sect that encourages large families. Check out the Bates family with 18 kids and counting.  They are featured on the Big Sandy Campus in this Primetime Nightline story.

If video does not work then check the show on Hulu: My Extra (Ordinary) Family Bates' 18 Kids

JEZEBEL: Yearbook ‘69: Attack Of The Futurist Christians!

Here is a great blog that has taken an old Ambassador College ENVOY from 1969 and posted  photo's from it and then goes into great sarcastic comments about the vision it (the college)  was attempting to get across.

Yearbook ‘69: Attack Of The Futurist Christians!

 In 1947, a group of Evangelicals founded a private college in Pasadena, where they imagined they could educate their children in a wholesome, Christian environment, free of the wider world's corrupting influence. Naturally, the 1969 yearbook is pure gold.

It gets worse. "Fashion has brought us the mini-skirt and the micro-mini, 'topless' bars and restaurants have sprung up — and even a few 'bottomless' and 'nude' have attempted to emerge. Now comes the "see-through" fashion for women. A whole new type of society has emerged — the Hippie movement, rejecting and rebelling against the 'Establishment,' putting a premium on slovenliness, filth, 'free sex,' and drugs. [...] The Social Order today is acutely SICK! It supplies no PURPOSE for human existence, knows nothing of the TRUE values, has no knowledge of THE WAY to real peace, happiness, and abundant well-being."

Except for at Ambassador College, where all the students dress like they're going to a John Birch Society social in 1953, and they live and learn in their own little palatial, green oasis of traditional, Godly Education and Values.

Looking through the pictures of all these smiling, perfectly posed, carefully lit, healthy-looking young white people, I couldn't help but think of Joan Didion's essay "Good Citizens", the third section of which gives Didion's account of the 1970 United States Junior Chamber of Commerce Annual Congress. The essay is kind of about how these men and women were prepared for a world that, thanks to the agitations and upheavals of the late 1960s, no longer exists:

"At first I thought I had walked out of the rain into a time warp: the Sixties seemed not to have happened. [...] this resolute determination to meet 1950 head on was a kind of refuge. Here were some people who had been led to believe that the future was always a rational extension of the past, that there would ever be world enough and time enough for 'turning attention,' for 'problems' and 'solutions.' Of course they would not admit their inchoate fears that the world was not that way anymore. Of course they would not join the 'fashionable doubters.' Of course they would ignore the 'pessimistic pundits.' Late one afternoon I sat in the Miramar lobby, watching the rain fall and the steam rise off the heated pool outside and listening to a couple of Jaycees discussing student unrest and whether the 'solution' might lie in on-campus Jaycee groups. I thought about this astonishing notion for a long time. It occurred to me finally that I was listening to a true underground, to the voice of those who have felt themselves not merely shocked but personally betrayed by recent history. It was supposed to have been their time. It was not."

'Last Great Day' Book Published

The year is 1969. Henry Conroy is a minister in an American doomsday cult based in England. Becoming a father for the first time, Henry moves his family home to Australia where his wife, Elizabeth, is reunited with her parents and pregnant, sickly sister.

When, as a result of their beliefs the family suffer a series of avoidable tragedies, Henry begins to question the true character of his leader. Elizabeth, however, driven by grief and guilt holds ever tight to her faith and, even after a harrowing encounter with the man she and her husband once so revered, refuses to face the shocking truth.

Disheartened by failed prophecies and impelled by disturbing rumours of sexual abuse, a defiant Henry relocates the family to church headquarters in California. There, he faces an agonising choice between continuing to live a lie and the possibility of losing his family forever.

Benjamin Grant Mitchell sent me a note to let me know that his book is now for sale.  Because of high shipping costs from Australia ($25.00 US), he recommends that those who do not want to pay the shipping fee to order it from Amazon as a Kindle or other reader download.  It is only $19.00 that way.

For more information go to Benjamin's web site:  Benjamin Grant Mitchell

Amazon Digital Version

Good Night WCG-Gracie/A Few Final Thoughts

Good Night WCG-Gracie/A Few Final Thoughts

To begin with, this letter is for me and perhaps part of my own life experience and healing after a 26 year run as a Pastor in the Worldwide Church of God. I came to the Church philosophically at the age of 16, having grown up Presbyterian in a very stable and loving family. The teachings of the WCG appealed to me and made more sense if one was to read and take the Bible as a fundamentally true document in all the areas that it claimed to express it's truth. The world of the 60's was chaotic. Presidents were assassinated, politicians were gunned down and civil rights protesters and leaders were being beaten, hung, drawn and shot. The Middle East was on fire as were many American cities. The Bible seemed to say that the end of something was near. I was also young and naive, but with wonderful intentions.

I went to Ambassador College against the wishes of my parents, who simply allowed me to make my own decisions. What a wonderful concept, allowing your kids to make their own religious decisions, even though I recently told my dad, now near 90 and a former elder in WCG, that I wish he had slapped me silly for even thinking of going. Of course, at that time, that would have only proved to me that it was the right thing to do since I was being opposed and at the time, I just knew I had to be there. I had to study and wanted to see the world through the eyes of the Church. It just seemed right to me and any ego loves believing that God himself was doing the calling. I was not drawn by the Armstrong personalities at first. There were many times at college where they annoyed me and I knew that what was spoken so brilliantly and with charisma, was in fact, not actually true, or simply speculation about the times in which were living. The information is what caught my attention. I was a very serious thinker at a very young age. There are reasons for that that I now understand completely, but I spare you.


And so I went to Ambassador. I wanted to be a pastor and even though I heard that God had to call you and, of course, the administration had to choose you, I studied as if it was all up to me. I had a 3.96 grade average. I enjoyed studying the Bible. I simply wanted to know "the truth". I got corrected for hair too long and not enough attendance at basketball games. I didn't care about basketball, but to make me show up, they made me be a flag something-or-other in a white coat and I felt like an idiot. I should have said no, but complied. I complied a lot over the next 26 years over more serious topics, though teaching and encouraging the congregation was more important to me than enforcing silly or reckless rules about various topics.
After graduation I went into "the field". Five states, 14 congregations and 26 years later, in a five minute phone call at 9:30 in the evening, I was terminated. Strangely enough, it was the anniversary of my baptism at 19 years old.


Now is the moment I have to be honest about me if I am to continue. I currently am a skeptic as to the origins and history of the Christian Church. That is my business and the result of my own study and perspectives. The WCG experience caused me to really look deeply into origins and I personally found I was not told near the truth about the matter. They didn't know near as much as they pretended to know. I was coming to some of these conclusions during the last few years as a pastor. I can hear some of this skepticism in some of my last Festival sermons. I felt that if a whole church administration can publicly flip an entire organization's belief system and expect compliance, I can certainly entertain the doubts and contradictions I have seen in the Bible quietly by myself. I could have easily walked off with most of the local congregation if I wanted to have years of local politics and doing what Christian Churches do best... argue, judge and fight, but I was done. I will never lose my interest in theology. I still want to know the truth even if it is not the one I set out to understand. I simply will not join another church again. From my perspective the Old and the New WCG was and is ill informed as is all literalist, evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity. That may not be true for you, but it is true for me. My favorite observation is that most Christians are piously convicted but marginally informed. That is true to me.


Most pastoring years were personally rewarding. I did not have to work in large cities playing games with other pastors who had empires to rule and egos to feed. I simply did my job, love those I met, laughed with them, cried with them, married and buried spouses, children and relatives, along with growing churches. I drove approximately one million miles (really) visiting, being a friend and believing I was doing the right thing.

There were lots of guys and families like mine. It's the narcissists that got all the bad press and still do. Towards the end, when every visit turned into a slug fest over what the Tkach's were doing in the Church, any capacity was a burden and not a joy. It was a miserable experience. Your friend one day became your lost friend the next. On top of that, I was in the American Southeast where being judgmental and critical of others not like you has been raised to an art form. Around here, every third male thinks that if he can read and tell a few stories, he is a Pastor. It's one of the few professions where one with no education or meaningful credentials can claim ultimate authority from God, and be someone.


By analogy, I came to a hockey game and at half time, someone came out, melted the ice, put up hoops and demanded I not only play, but coach Basketball, which if you remember...I don't like. Suffering a personal depression and a lot of regret over having given my youth and energy to the ever-changing truth, I made some mistakes that would be considered unacceptable as a pastor. Outside of the ministry and its neurotic demand to "become perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect," it would just be what it was and a common, oft told tale and theme of what I would help many a member with and through. But as a pastor, I could be criticized and I accept that. No one can live the life, feel the feelings or have the thoughts of another. Not in a real world.


At any rate, I stayed to encourage the local congregation. It did not work. The assault on what we must now think and do was relentless and those who did not participate simply had to go. If you were a minister, you simply lost everything and had to reinvent your life after being "uncalled" if being "recalled" and retrofitted did not make you a good little evangelical, hand waving, "cross" eyed, freak. YOU, not I managed to reduce my local congregation from just under 400 very sincere and faithful people to around 25 now meeting in some hokey storefront giving out Halloween candy with scriptures on the wrappers! Oh barf (it was a printable story on spreading the Gospel in the WN) ...winning converts with Scriptural Halloween candy!! It is simply pathetic to see a congregation and a MINISTER reduced to that nonsense. YOU, not I managed to reduce all my previous congregations by 90%+ Nice work.


Anyway...It simply came down to that five minute call one evening out of the blue informing me that I was done in the ministry and that I could call personnel for the details of the severance package. It was six months pay to get a new life and signing off on any future retirement, unless WCG, which means Bernie Schnippert, deems you loyal enough to support. Of course, I was not so that's quite a savings right there.... Perhaps one can imagine the position that puts one in when in my youth, the church had all ministers sign off on Social Security with the promise that "we will take care of you". Well actually you have taken care of me... but good.


My dad worked for Eastman Kodak, has been retired for years and you know, he once bought Fuji film, and Kodak still gives him retirement. Retirement is not based on loyalty. It is based on years of service.


You can't ask people to be loyal to something that was pushed upon them and with which they had little agreement. Most of the people in WCG came FROM where you wanted to go. You can't ask people to change their minds, hopes and faith just because YOU think they should agree with you. Life, much less the human mind does not work that way. Frankly, those of you who "administer" the church, should have left long ago and asked Benny Hinn, TBN , and the Harvest Crock Church to take you in as spiritual refugees. I realize you could not continue to grant yourselves lifetime income and security by doing this, but it is what YOU should have done and left the Church, whose perspective you scorned, alone. If it was wrong for YOU, then leave it, don't destroy it and drive most to despair, skepticism and in some few cases literal suicide. Instead, you made everyone else leave. Now that's power...stupid, self-serving and egocentric power. Benny Hinn has a rule that he does not want people looking him in the eyes. He makes it a rule wherever he goes. He does it as part of his holy farce, fake and failed prophecies ministry because he believes he is more special than others. Perhaps a similar rule would save you all from seeing the pain, hurt and spiritual confusion in the eyes of countless good people, including former ministers who gave just as much and more in some areas a congregant could not appreciate.


You need to remember that the monies you realized in the sale of the campus which you will now "invest" into an almost non existent "worldwide church" and give yourselves and as few others as possible a lifetime income, is labor from the 1950's, 60's 70's 80's and 90's. I'd say you should calculate how much real giving YOU inspired. Real giving, from the heart during your Sheepling of the Sheep and not the efforts of others, whether you agreed with them or not. And you can't count the guilt or habitual giving types. You can only count the purely evangelical fundamentalist "New and Improved Church of God" giving. That's your money to work with. That's the fruit of your labor in "Him" as some say. I'd also like to ask that when you go to eat out, or take a cruise in the fall to not keep an archaic, and Jesus embarrassing non-festival. Or when you pay a mortgage or get a new car or have your health needs taken care of, and do whatever your good Christian Evangelical heart wan ts, you might remember what others might be struggling with just to keep up. I know my own father was able to survive because Kodak had a plan,


I am not so sure about myself at this moment in my life. By others, I include former members also, but mean former pastors with whom I also have had great experience. Please remember when you are tempted to judge or put people in categories of worthy or not worthy, that you're coming to "know" Jesus and reinventing the wheel of truth, and discovering the "old old story", which is older than you can possibly imagine, has cost others a lot. It cost some who were unable to distinguish between the emotional death of their hope and faith and literal death, their lives. That is not a judgment. That is just the way it has been for some.


Being a hard wired sensitive human being (ENFP-let him who reads understand); I understand that feeling and shock. The depression I have wrestled with is really internalized anger, and the sarcasm I am capable of is simply that anger turned sideways. Neither you nor the previous administration were particularly easy people to reason with or explain things to. You are always right it seems, and to date, a rather emotionally cold and calculated group outside your circle and towards those that have reacted to your administration. I have always said when the common folk simply have had enough and say "NO" to childish posturing and the phony authority ministerial administrative types put on, all of a sudden, God inspires a new and better understanding. But in fact, it is simply realizing one can't dismiss the common sense perspectives of educated people and survive.


We get depressed because people don't listen and we lose our bearings with little or no genuine support. You all need to understand that. Personally, I am still amazed that since that one fateful personal call that my career was over, no one ever contacted me again...ever. This is what I mean by cold. I encouraged the local church in my last sermon to continue to support you. I have since regretted the content and misplaced loyalty of my last sermon. I believe that was back when I had just been assured that "we will not be changing" this or that, and it all changed that month.


The emotions that people direct towards the collective "you" for reckless change and indifference to the spiritual and physical sacrifices made by thousands and which now result in your having more money than you need to "do the work", is quite normal. I suspect, as do others, you knew what your losses would be, but did not care, and still don't. Maybe even you don't know why you do and did what you did. Perhaps that would take a professional to sort out.


I don't know the games you played with your Evangelical supporters behind the scenes but I do know that "the Bible Answer Man" and others you have embraced also show a pattern of financial gain through religious manipulation and theological ignorance. Hank Hanegraaf's perspective on evolution and literal human origins is simply ignorant. He is not qualified to write on such topics as if he knew. His mistake as well as that of the Fundamentalist and Evangelical mind-set is to take the text as literally and historically true from the start without question, but that is another whole topic. I can't tell you how many Evangelical type ministers I have met in my other life now that have said, "I know you are right, but I can't teach that, I'd lose my job." Grab a copy of Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism, by John Spong and then try to say the Bible is all harmonious and literally true. It's a very simple read and with your backgrounds, you should be very capable of grasping it's message. The same is to be said of many of the theological articles you now write. Pious conviction with marginal information.


Finally, and I know I will always be able to think of more to say, I wanted to comment on your "Ministry of Reconciliation." While I am all for Black/White reconciliation, it is majoring in the minors at this point. I know how difficult it is to communicate with those you have offended. Or maybe I am only seeing this topic through my own eyes and for you it is not difficult at all. I don't know. I do know that reconciling with races is not your main problem. It is the inability to reconcile with people that has been your undoing.


It may take a few more years, but this lack will leave WCG dead and buried in just about any form. Only a small group of people will have a lot of money. I imagine you can afford to dabble in just about any Evangelical fantasy you choose. You can associate with whoever is the most emotionally satisfying regardless of how anyone left in WCG feels about it and whether it represents their hopes and dreams. I also feel that the new owners of the property are another religious scandal waiting to happen. Men with that much emotion, power, influence and ridiculous religious showmanship wear many masks and cannot maintain all of them all the time. Truly spiritual people don't need others to define them, but Sheeple remember, need Shepherds. I will say that if I hear or see any of you standing with Benny Hinn in the Rededication of the Ambassador Auditorium, to a new and improved God from the last time it was dedicated, I will vomit. It will however prove that the unchangeable God changes often depending on who gets to write the script. It would be a great symbol of everything that is wrong with all those various denominations that know the one true mind of God. God is so often in the image of the men who speak for Him. At any rate, put some thought into who you really might need to reconcile with and see what you come up with. I won't hold my breath.


I thank any and all for listening to me open up and express these things. I realize I can be sarcastic. I realize that I still have anger I don't wish to have and regrets about not speaking up in times past I can only remedy by speaking up now. I also realize I have nothing to loose, which even Janis Joplin defined as true freedom.
I wanted to be a pastor from a very young age. The reasons were probably rather hokey, but they were sincere. The WCG seemed right at the time. I had to be there. I accept responsibility for being there and also for being here now. I simply ask you to reconsider your perspectives and responsibilities. You might be able to dismiss it because " we weren't responsible for the past." I will simply say. I am not talking about the past. That is over and done with. If you can't take some responsibility for the past, then you can't control the money you have now gotten from the sale of the past. It's that simple. I don't expect you take responsibility for the past administration's way of being and doing. But your way of being and doing in the recent past is more than enough for you to take responsibility for and do whatever you really think your new Jesus would do.
Warm regards and thanks for listening,

Dennis C. Diehl
DenniscDiehl@aol.com

Ambassador Big Sandy 1976 Reunion

This just in from the Big Sandy Class of 76 Reunion Planning Committee:

Hello Dear Friends!

Will you help us find fellow classmates of the Ambassador College Big Sandy Class of 1976? We entered as freshman in the Fall of 1972 and it seems impossible to believe its been 35 years since we graduated! Well then, - I'd say, it's time to party again!

We're in the beginning stage of organizing a college reunion!
We're including everyone who was part of the incoming class of 1972 or who joined our class in the years of 1972 through 1976. We are looking forward to reminincing with you who have shared many of the same memories of the wonderful years we had together in East Texas. (If we can still remember them!)

Many more details will follow in the next few weeks and months -- but in the meantime -

Save this date: 2nd weekend in August (Aug 12th - 14th).
Place: Dallas, Texas (Charles Melear is helping us locate a meeting place and we'll provide all the details in the next few weeks.)

AND, we need your help to locate our classmates. If you know of fellow classmates who were part of this class -- please direct them to: http://www.ACReunion.info for more information and updates that will be coming soon!

Can't wait to see you all again.

Much MORE to come...

Warm Regards,

Tony Hill, Jolinda Schreiber, Scott & Connie Ashley,
Jennifer Halprin, Angie Kelley & Paula Jo Frazee

Your AC Reunion Planning Committee

More information and pictures of AC students from all three campuses can be fond here:  AC Reunion Site

Making Yourself "Pure" on the Ambassador Campus

Harvest Rock Church,the owners of the Ambassador Auditorium is a charismatic 'church' that is seen by some as another personality cult. It is deeply centered around it's leader Che Ahn who has his minions at his beckon call just like Herb did.  Some of the  people you come in contact with there are truly weird and downright creepy! 

Ex-Armstrongites that have visited their services have gotten to see first-hand the speaking in tongues, people 'pogoing' where they jump endless in place for long periods of time, people 'slain in the spirit' where they either fall rigidly to the floor and stay that way for an hour or longer, or fall down thrashing about flailing their arms and legs.  One person that visited during one of their conference said that the entire lower lounge was filled with people 'slain in the spirit' writhing and moaning on the carpet.  Others get whipped into such a frenzy that they start barking like dogs, or they have uncontrollable fits of laughter.  Then there are the folks that are 'drunk' with the holy spirit to the point they can hardly stand up and stumble about laughing and slurring their words like happy drunks.

If anyone thought Armstrongism was weird these people are FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR worse!

Checkout this video filmed on the campus with some of HRC's young people taking a 'purity' pledge in front of the old Mayfair dorm. None of them look too excited to be there.  If these kids only knew what went on inside that dorm during the College days they would run like hell the other direction!  That building was certainly NOT the bastion of purity and wholesomeness!

But then, I must have forgotten, that HRC folks 'purified' the Ambassador grounds before they moved in.  They went around the property pouring anointing oil on the sidewalks and on the buildings to expel the evil spirits of Armstrongism and purify the property. They also poured salt into the Auditorium lake to expel the demons that occupied it as well as poured anointed oil around the perimeter of the Auditorium.

The Washington Post has a great article on how ineffective 'Purity Pledges' are: Pre-marital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective

Another Soul Touched By Armstrongism (And Not In A Good Way!)

The End Game February 2011

I have hesitated posting this because it has been getting so much press lately.  But heck, anything I can post here that gets Watchman in a dither I will do it!  :-)

Bobby Fischer: another sad legacy of Armstrongism.

Fischer was invited to Ambassador College do do a chess seminar. Once there he got caught up in the mire of Armstrongism.  He was already having lots of life issues and mental health issues. Fischer's problems only multiplied the longer he stayed in contact with Armstrongism.

Harry Sneider, former Ambassador College PE Department  trainer has his take on Fischer in this The Journal article.

Ambassador Reports had this information about him in it's first magazine issues

Chess Champion Bobby Fischer had quite a lot to say about
the Armstrongs. In an interview with the Ambassador Report
editor, Fischer said, "I was trying to buy God." From 1967
through 1974 he gave a total of $94,315 to the Worldwide Church
of God. In 1972, the year he won his championship by defeating
Soviet champion Boris Spassky, he donated $61,200 to the Church.
He said, "This idea of Herbert's that you can't trust your own
thoughts - that's the key doctrine that I think has to be blasted
out. I would say that if there's one thing that is the whole
essence of Armstrongism, that is it. That's how he screws up your
mind, that's how he hangs on to people." He said further
regarding Armstrong's prophetic failure, that the Church would be
taken to safety in 1972, "Like the Bible says, when a prophet
makes prophecies that don't come true, then that guy is not of
God and you don't have to be afraid of him. Yet Church members
are afraid of him (HWA), and he's failed umpteen times. This guy,
Armstrong, in terms of religion, is the world's biggest loser....
But I was really upset in 1972 when Herbert Armstrong refused to
apologize. He could have just apologized and said, 'I became
overly enthusiastic. I wanted Christ to return so badly.
Everything seemed to fit. Please excuse me. I won't do that
again.'"
Fischer had not become disillusioned with God, but as he
came to realize that his relationship with Christ was a spiritual
one and was not dependent on massive contributions to a
self-proclaimed apostle, he did become disillusioned with Herbert
Armstrong. He said, "Herbert Armstrong has a way with words. You
know, he seems so sincere. He has all the right principles:
dedication, hard work, perseverance, never giving up. He's
dogged: he's persistent. You know, from reading his stuff and
listening to his sermons, you'd think he was very interested in
God. But when you meet him personally, there is nothing there at
all. I find Armstrong to be an egomaniac. He sitteth in the
temple of God saying great things as if he were God. He
apparently wants to leave his permanent mark on all he comes in
contact with and can bring into submission. He is simply a madman
who would love to rule the world."

(Obviously with the fame Bobby Fisher had, as the world's "chess
champion," he had met HWA, and you've just heard what he said,
"...you'd think he was very interested in God, But when you meet him
personally, there is nothing there at all." --- That says it all.
If you ever meet me, and I do have a little fame of sorts from
this Website, I hope you'll never be able to say such words as
Fisher said about HWA - Keith Hunt)

He gave over ninety thousand of dollars to to the church.  This was a time that Armstrongism was using it's two celebrity "member's" as tools for better publicity.  They were also exploiting Dan Truitte from the Sound of Music.  GTA was trumpeting him out during the America Listen's Campaigns.

He got arrested by the Pasadena Police Department and shares his tale of woe here: I Was Tortured in the Pasadena Jailhouse

He renounced his US citizenship, and was delighted when the World Trade Center was attacked. He despised Israel and the Jews.

Instead of playing tournaments, Fischer retreated to the protective cocoon of the Worldwide Church of God, an apocalyptic cult that predicted the end of the world every four to seven years and whose members tithed up to 30 percent of their income. Such protection came at a steep price. It was reported that out of his $200,000 income that year he donated $61,200 to the WCG. "They cleaned out my pockets," he later said. "Now my only income is a few royalty checks from my books. I was really very foolish." To show its appreciation for such a generous contribution, the WCG treated Fischer almost as if he were the very deity the Church's members had been waiting for. He lived in WCG-owned apartments, was entertained at fancy restaurants, and flew to exotic spots in the Church's private jet. And Fischer was set up on the first dates of his life, with attractive WCG members. A fellow WCG member, Harry Sneider, says that this hedonistic lifestyle had a detrimental effect on Fischer: "He got pampered and got a lot of attention. It made him soft."

Fischer's relationship with the WCG, like all the others in his life, didn't last. In 1977, after a bitter falling-out that led Fischer to claim that the WCG was taking its orders from a "satanical secret world government," he cut all ties with the Church. Then he crawled even further into his own netherworld. He began dressing like a hobo. He took up residence in seedy hotels. He began worrying about the purity of his bodily fluids. He bought great quantities of exotic herbal potions, which he carried in a suitcase, to stave off the toxins he feared might be secretly put in his food and water by Soviet agents. According to a 1985 article in Sports Illustrated, Fischer medicated himself with such esoteric remedies as Mexican rattlesnake pills ("good for general health") and Chinese healthy-brain pills ("good for headaches"). His suitcase also contained a large orange-juice squeezer and lots and lots of vitamins. He always kept the suitcase locked, even when he was staying with friends. "If the Commies come to poison me, I don't want to make it easy for them," he explained to a friend. Perhaps the most telling sign of his rapid mental deterioration was that he insisted on having all his dental fillings removed. "If somebody took a filling out and put in an electronic device, he could influence your thinking," Fischer confided to a friend. "I don't want anything artificial in my head."

The low point of Fischer's California sojourn came on May 26, 1981, when two Pasadena police officers stopped him for an ID check. By then he had unkempt hair, a scraggly beard, and tattered clothes, and looked like an aging hippie down on his luck. He also generally fit the description of a man who had recently committed two bank robberies in the neighborhood. He refused to answer questions and was taken to jail, where he spent forty-eight hours. "All he had to do was tell the police he was Bobby Fischer, the chess player, and the whole thing would have been over," a friend says. "But he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Submitting to authority is a foreign concept to Bobby." A year later Fischer privately published a fourteen-page pamphlet titled "I Was Tortured in the Pasadena Jailhouse!" The pamphlet, which became a surprise best seller in chess shops across the country, is a melodramatic account of Fischer's confinement. The subheadings say it all: "Brutally Handcuffed." "Choked." "Isolation & Torture." "Sick Cop." The Atlantic

Construction on the Ambassador Pasadena Campus

In the on again, off again, struggle to redevelop the old Ambassador Campus in Pasadena, it now looks like City Ventures may soon start demolition and building this spring.  Time will tell though as countless other adventures have all fallen through.  Dorn Platz, who bought the property from WCG around 2004/5 lost the property about a year and half ago when it was repossessed by the Fortress Investment Group (hedge fund) that originated Dorn Platz's loans.

City Ventures paid $15,000,000 for the property which included the upper campus; Academic Center and gardens, Olcott and TV studios, Merritt mansion, Terrace Villa, Mayfair and gardens, and the Library.  The Hall of Ad is part of a separate lot that is still for sale. The Hall of Ad was part of the original buildings scheduled to be demolished and replaced for a high end retirement/senior center..  The Harvest Rock church is using it when it is not being used for film shoots.

City Ventures paid way more for just a part of the property than WCG ever received for the entire property.

The houses are on the market for well over a million dollars each.  Seventy town houses are scheduled to be built first.

Relationships

Relationships

This is a toughy.  I loved the relationships I had in WCG.  In all the churches I ever pastored, I found my best friends.  Of course, what joined us was the common hope that lay within us.

WCG provided me friends and relationships I never would had in any other context.  The people I met at AC were very sincere and just good folks.  They came from everywhere in the country and in fact, the world.  I never would have known them were it not for the church.

I did date some of the same girls Garner Ted did.  ( :(  )  Naive and very fine human beings with a desire to do and believe the right things.  They were not insincere.  They were not looking for power or recognition.  They simply wanted to be a part of the right thing.  They wanted to do the right thing and see the Bible in the correct way.  The best friends I ever had were members of the WCG.

One of my best friends was a guy I met in Ohio when I was transferred there.  He always spoke his mind and while , at first, it made me nuts and distrustful, I now realize he simply knew how to express what he was observing and it made me, as a young minister,   uncomfy.   The problem was with me, not him.  We moved to Ohio and rented a house next to the railroad tracks , which to us was a palace.  Ok, we had to put up with the train going past, but it was steady and predicatable and I loved the sound of it.  It relaxed me at night.  We lived so close to the tracks that any accident would have taken us immediately into the Kingdom of God.  

I remember well this fellow, who helped us move in, saying..."I just wanted to see what my tithe money was doing."  Ugh....give me a break.  I have to live somewhere.  But he was honest and it was that honesty that bound us rather closely over the years.  He eventually got booted as a deacon from the church for being too honest and observant.  I returned for a reunion of ministers in this Ohio congregation.  The present minister was "honoring" the deacons for their work in the church and, of course, he was left out.  He was sitting in front of me and while listening to the minister tell of the other men's service, I took out a piece of paper and wrote:

" In honor of Gary________, For years of dedicated service and care in the Worldwide Church of God."

I reached around him and put it in his hands.  He looked back at me with a look time can never erase.  "Thank you," he said somewhat stunned.  We have been closer friends ever since.  

I made and lost some of the best friends I ever had in the bonds made in the WCG.

This past weekend I went to celebrate the 3rd birthday of my grandson.  He is the only boy of three other goddesses I call my grandchildren.  Sheridan, Maggie, Lily and Nicholas.  My ex wife was there and it was difficult.

Nothing that has transpired is her "fault."  Everything just fell apart.  When you life church, church, church 24/7 and it goes as WCG went, it just all falls apart.  She came from a long time WCG family.  We had our good years raising two great boys.  We went to the Toledo Zoo after church services on the holy Sabbath and took some heat but mostly made people think perhaps life was not to be such a church burden.  This was in the 70's.  Every Friday night in the winter we went to the YMCA to swim with the kids and have "family time."  No one gave us a hard time for that and I told them that's what we did.  We ended the Friday night swim with a trip to Dunkin Donuts with the boys in their "jammies" and life was good.  

Once my youngest climbed into a locker at the YMCA and locked himself in.  I told him to keep talking and Dad would find him.  It was hilarious.  I finally found the appropriate locker and liberated this small, naked and goofy kid from his prison.  We laughed our butts off.

Another time, I took my oldest, then 5 , to a funeral in Kentucky.  On the coffin there was a spay of flowers and a red toy telephone with a sign that said, "Jesus called."  He asked me what the toy phone was all about and I explained the concept to him. Then I got called to give the sermon.  He grabbed me almost in a panic and I said, "Let go, I have to speak."  He said in a panic not since heard,  "Dad...if that phone rings, please don't answer it!"   Another great memory.  All through the service the coffin between me and him sitting on the front row, he glared at me as if to say  "Dad...don't answer it."  Now he'd probably say, "Dad, go ahead and answer it."  But that is another story  :)

Anyway, driving home from the weekend alone and having seen everyone in my past life was a bit difficult.  I can't unring the bell.  I can't fix all that is broken.  I never would have predicted the route my marriage and life would have taken, and yes, I did make my decisions along the way that have cost much.

I have had a couple relationships since then.  Mistakes were made and the price has been paid.  It's me, the Shih Tzu and the Lionhead Goldfish at the moment and it's not been easy.  I have endeavored to meet new people through the various web based sites, but somehow I am the most comfortable with those that know my past and understand.  Loneliness is a concept I never knew until the last couple years.  I am sure somewhere along the line there were singles who expressed this concept to me and I said some really dumb shit stuff as how they needed to solve it.  Boy, has the Karma Fairy flown over and taught me a lot about shallow advice not based in reality.

I don't find people all that honest about what makes them tick.  As I have written in the past, everyone wears masks. Masks tend to grow into the skin and are ever so hard to take off.  However, dropping them is liberating.  I imagine the cost of  being oneself, by most, is considered too high and so they fake it. 

Everyone Wears Masks - Your Pastor and Priest, Your Mom, Dad, Family, and YOU!

 

At any rate, the best friends I ever had were the members who drove me nuts when I was their pastor.  They were right.  They had nothing to lose being right, well except their membership in the group think.  

I find that lost relationships is a very big issue in the demise of the WCG.  We all had absolutely nothing in common and at the same time, everything in common.

I miss those relationships and am sorry they ended as they did.  

I do not miss my relationship with "Headquarters."  What a mess that always was.  Were you telling me the truth or were you shitting me?  In hindsite, you were shitting me.  You were my friends but then you became my worse enemy.  You lied and made excuses for the obvious and proved to be shallow friends at best.  "We will take care of you," came to mean, "by screwing you."  We "wish you well and will pray for  you," meant "We dont give a rats ass about you and probably won't pray for you either."  Those in high places were relationships that taught me well what "be warmed and be filled" really meant.

Life is relationships.  Some people come into our lives forever, for a time, for a season and then either stay or leave.  There is much to learn from each, but it can be very painful.   

My thanks to those who have hung with me through the years.  For those who have come and gone, I thank you as well and wish it may have been better or different.  

I never came into the WCG for anything less than doing and believing the right thing.  I have learned much from the experience but the price has been high.

They say that experience is the BEST teacher, BUT the tuition is high.  I have learned that experience is the ONLY teacher and all else is mere hearsay.  

That doesn't mean it's easy or how one wish it had gone...

DenniscDiehl@aol.com