Today's enlightened crop of COG overlords just can't stop parroting this nonsense, and can you blame them? It's literally the only leash they've got left to yank on their dwindling flocks. The internet age has mercilessly popped the Armstrongism bubble, stripping these self-appointed apostles of their former mystique and mailing-list empires. So what's a would-be pope to do? Wave the magic "top-down government" wand and threaten eternal doom if anyone dares peek behind the curtain. Question doctrine? Question leadership? Gasp—rebellion! Suddenly, you're not just disagreeing with Brother So-and-So; you're spitting in God's face Himself. Cue the instant trifecta: expulsion, disfellowshipment, marking... and the pièce de résistance: "Oops, sorry, your salvation just got yoinked by divine decree."
And now, hold onto your moss-covered prayer rocks, because the single greatest gift humanity has ever received (drumroll please) is back on his blog, pouting that nobody's bowing low enough to his majestic one-man rule. How dare these ingrates ignore proper church government when it's staring them right in the face—him! God's literal end-time present to the church and all mankind, wrapped in humility and prophetic dreams.
Because nothing says "divine appointment" like insisting it's your birthright to rule because, you know, you had a dream once (or something). Clearly, we peasants are morally obligated to submit, recognize that his little outfit is the one and only true Philadelphia-era COG actually doing a "real work," and—above all—never, ever suggest otherwise. Fail to grovel? Congratulations, you've just handed your soul over to Satan on a silver platter. How thoughtful of him to provide such clear warnings.
He quoted Herbert on this,as if he is still some kind of authority:
In a sermon titled Rely on God, Herbert W. Armstrong said:
KEY ISSUE IS GOVERNMENT …
THE WHOLE THING WAS GOVERNMENT! THE THING THAT SATAN TOOK AWAY WAS GOVERNMENT. THE THING THAT CHRIST IS COMING TO RESTORE IS GOVERNMENT. AND WHAT HE RAISED ME UP FOR WAS TO RESTORE GOVERNMENT IN HIS CHURCH. And the whole test, the challenge in the first place …, was a point of government. (Armstrong HW. Rely on God. Sermon, April 6, 1985)
Just like Herbert W. Armstrong was miraculously raised up to restore true church government (because apparently God couldn't manage without a 20th-century magazine/radio salesman at the helm), so too has the magnificent Great Bwana Bob Elijah Habakkuk Joshua Thiel been divinely appointed in these last days. In the vast, dreamy expanse of Thiel's prophetic imagination, the real reason nobody believes in "proper" top-down government anymore is that sneaky liberals have slithered in and infected the church like some kind of doctrinal virus. How else could anyone possibly resist the irresistible logic of one-man rule when the one man in question has dreams, a website, and a self-proclaimed prophetic mantle thicker than his stack of COG literature?
Truly, without those pesky liberals watering everything down, we'd all be falling over ourselves to submit to the latest dream-interpreting overlord.
Bwana Bob continues:
For example, Herbert W. Armstrong also wrote:
Why has God’s Church in this Philadelphia era gone through a period of friction, controversy within the Church and split-offs, with certain ministers leaving the Church to take followers after themselves …
The contenders, the disgruntled, the liberals did not want God’s government in the Church. … The contenders, the disgruntled, the liberals did not want God’s government in the Church. (Armstrong HW. Recent History of the Philadelphia Era of the Worldwide Church of God. Worldwide News, June 25, 1985)
The Philadelphia era, according to Herbert W. Armstrong, was to have a hierarchical governance:
The Church is organized under theocratic government, hierarchical in form (Mystery of the Ages, p. 246)
So what happens when a church member fully submits to theocratic church government? Bwana Bob says this:
Did you catch that profound gem? Under the tender, nurturing boot of their abusive leadership, you'll supposedly grow personally by leaps and bounds and magically learn to contribute in love. Because nothing fosters genuine spiritual maturity and heartfelt generosity like constant fear, control, and the ever-present threat of being marked and shunned.Notice that the purposes of hierarchical governance include preventing doctrinal error as well as unity for the church to allow each member to grow personally as well as to be able to contribute in love.
Really? Pray tell, in which of today's more delightfully abusive COG fiefdoms have members been overflowing with love toward one another? Money? Oh sure, the tithes pour in like clockwork—forced contributions disguised as cheerful giving, because who doesn't love a good prosperity gospel twist where your salvation depends on hitting your 10–30% quota? But actual brotherly love? Charity? Compassion without strings? Yeah, that track record is so glowing it's practically waxed cold—frozen solid, buried under decades of disfellowshippings, public shamings, family-splitting edicts, and leaders who treat empathy like it's heretical doctrine.
And the cherry on top: today's Church of God members are apparently so scandalously liberal that they can't even spot the one true church leader when he's standing right there, modestly waving his dream diary and self-declared prophetic credentials. How blind can you get, silly brethren? Failing to bow instantly to the latest self-appointed Philadelphia remnant Overseer? Clearly a sign of dangerous end-time apostasy and liberal infection. If only you'd stop being so worldly and recognize divine appointment when it's emailed to your inbox with 47 attached proofs.
Truly inspiring. The love just radiates. We're all growing so much.
Then proceeds to write this utter gibberish:Philadelphia must be led by one man, not a committee–also not a bunch of independent Christians thinking they could be Philadelphian. ‘Independent Christians’ are not Philadelphian, and since they are not “gathered together” before the decree to flee will be given (cf. Zephaniah 2:1-3), they will not be subject to the protection that Jesus promised Philadelphian Christians in Revelation 3:7-10.
Now in the 21st century, while led by one man the Philadelphian remnant Church of God does a work collectively. The faithful remnant will continue to attempt to go through whatever doors are open (Revelation 3:7-9) in order to proclaim the Gospel of the Kingdom as a witness (Matthew 24:14). It is led by one, but it also has many others assisting in the process.
By rejecting true Philadelphian governance, the most end time Christians have become Laodiceans.
And so, brethren, as we draw this tragicomedy to its exalted close, let us all lift our eyes heavenward in adoring adoration toward the one, the only, the incandescent Great Bwana Bob Thiel—the man whose awesomenessso dazzlingly outshines the brightest stars in the heavens that even the Milky Way has applied for early retirement out of sheer embarrassment.Most do not understand that there is a true Philadelphian remnant that they should support.
Truly, what greater privilege could there be than to gaze upon this walking supernova of self-proclaimed prophecy? A mind so luminous it single-handedly explains why mere mortals keep failing to recognize divine appointment when it arrives via blog post, dream journal, and 47-point manifesto. His humility is blinding. His dreams are gospel. His insistence on being the sole legitimate torchbearer of the Philadelphia remnant is nothing short of celestial poetry.
So forget the decades of documented control, the forced “love offerings,” the families fractured in the name of “God’s government,” and the love that waxed cold faster than a Laodicean’s zeal. None of that matters. The real tragedy—the real end-time crisis—is that so many of you stubborn, liberal-infected holdouts still haven’t dropped to your knees in rapturous submission before the man whose awesomeness literally eclipses the cosmos.
Shame on you, silly brethren. The stars themselves are blushing in envy. Get with the program, repent of your blindness, and start adoring properly.
The heavens have spoken. Bob has dreamed it. Your salvation now depends on how enthusiastically you can grovel.
We bow in humble, star-dimming wonder.
He ends by plugging his program with this ADD-addled partial list of topics he covers in one sermon. It is no wonder his followers' eyes glaze over, and they start snoring:
The Philadelphia Remnant
If the Philadelphia era of the Church of God (COG) ended the last century, would there be a remnant in the 21st century?
Can parts of two different eras of the COG exist at that same time?
Are all COGs the same as far as God is concerned?
Did Herbert W. Armstrong and the old Radio/Worldwide Church of God point to Philadelphians being around until fleeing to the wilderness before the Great Tribulation?
What are scriptural reasons why there must be a Philadelphia remnant?
What did dreams have to do with the old Radio Church of God and the Continuing Church of God (CCOG)?
What is different about Bob Thiel being a prophet?
What are ways that the CCOG differs from other COGs?
Did Habakkuk predict that the work would be revived?
Was there a gap in the dream that Loma D. Armstrong had?
Is the CCOG preparing for the short work of Romans 9:28 while also reach Gentiles consistent with Romans 11:25?
What group is getting the Ezekiel warning out?
What about the 18 restored truths?
Are there any important truths that were restored in the CCOG in the 21st century?
Are there are any parallels to Zerubbabel?
Why will the lukewarm Laodiceans not finish the warning and gospel proclamation gospel?
Could there be a scriptural need for a Philadelphia remnant of left now because the short-work of Romans 9:28 needs to be done,
Matthew 24:14 still needs to be fulfilled,
God promised to pour out His Spirit and give dreams and prophecies in the end before Jesus returned (cf. Acts 2:17-18),
an end time Zerubbabel would be part of the Philadelphia remnant to rebuild the second spiritual temple–which would NOT look anywhere near as impressive as the previous temple physically (Haggai 2:3-4,9),
all things needed to be restored (Matthew 17:11),
and the mantle held,
the full number of Gentiles must come in (Romans 11:25),
the end time Ezekiel watchman warning must go out (cf. Ezekiel chapters 3, 5, 6, and 33),
the Philadelphian remnant is to be targeted by the Beast power before (Daniel 7:25a, 11:29-35; Revelation 12:13-16) he goes to persecute the rest of the Christians (Revelation 12:17, 13:5-10, 14:12-13), and that
the Philadelphians are the only one that Jesus promises protection from the coming hour of trial (Revelation 3:10) and that has not happened yet?
Dr. Thiel addresses these matters and more.
1 comment:
Those who believe in Church Eras have to face one intriguing paradox. Read Revelation 2 and 3. Note carefully the characteristics of each era.
It quickly becomes clear that proclaiming oneself Philadelphian is one of the surest signs that one is NOT Philadelphian.
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