Some Baptist Motorcycle Humor

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They Cut My Britches Off

If only those entrenched in Armstrongism could make fun of themselves
instead of leaving it to others to do it for them!
Perhaps they wouldn't be the dour sad sour-pusses most of them seem to be.

The Fear-Mongering Church of God: Armageddon Will Not Happen Prior to 2018

I think all the Churches of God need to drop their silly prefixes to their name and join together under one united name. The Fear-Mongering Church of God.  That moniker fits all the various 700 splinter groups.  They all exist because of the fear they instill in members.

Typical Armstrongite rhetoric states: God is angry at the world and the Church of God.  You are never quite good enough to be able to please God.  Jesus delays his coming because it is your fault you are not ready.  On and on the list could go.

Malm is instilling fear into his acolytes with threats about the law.  No one on this entire earth could EVER keep the law and never has.  They will not and cannot do so in Malm's group.  It is an impossibility.  Even Malm breaks every single law he promotes.

Flurry instills fear into his members and "college" students.  They are so fearful that they turn their backs on family members and friends.  They refuse to talk to children, grand children, parents, and grandparents all because Gerald told them not to.  They are fearful that if they do they will be kicked out of the Church.

Pack does the same with his small flock as does Meredith and all the others out there.  Fear reigns supreme in the Church of God.

However, there is one person who does not live in fear and claims he does not promote fear.  That person is Bob Thiel.  God's greatest theologian on earth today in regards to end-time prophecy, the Mayan calendar and all things concerning Catholicism.  He has written several books now taking advantage of the fear base.

Thiel writes:

Your suggestion that I write to generate money for any organization is false. And you should know that. I also do not live in fear (cf. Luke 12:32). on Malm Asks: Can A Mad Man With A Nuclear Bomb Cause An Earthquake?

Really?  Really?
Get a load of just today's postings on one entry:

Some astronomers are warning that comets could cause a type of electronic Armageddon

Large sun-grazing comets could bring on the sort of global electronics meltdown usually associated with electromagnetic pulse weapons or a full-scale nuclear exchange.

The results of an EMP incident would be catastrophic:

• · The U.S. power grid could be destroyed;
• · Planes would crash;
• · Water and sewerage systems would fail;
• · Banks could not access their records;
• · Transportation systems would be inoperable;
• · The internet would go down;
• · Emergency services would severely hampered.

Solar Storm Warning: Researchers announced that a storm is coming—the most intense solar maximum in fifty years.

A large comet hitting the earth would also seem to have similar effects to that of a medium-sized asteroid, but also could have electronic impact.   And having something actually hit the earth and do massive damage is predicted in the Bible.   But the Wormwood comet will not possibly hit the earth prior to 2018 (for some details, please see When Will the Great Tribulation Begin? 2012, 2013, or 2014?).  The staging for armies in Armageddon (Revelation 16:16, and related to the sixth trumpet of Revelation 8:13-17) happens shortly after Wormwood (third trumpet) hits, hence ‘Armageddon’ will not happen in prior to 2018.

Although the biblical Wormwood does not have to be a comet, it sounds more like one than an asteroid.

Thiel has hundreds of fear related blog entries up and very very little about Jesus Christ.  Those that follow Jesus don't need to live in fear and don't have to worry about stray comets, EMP blasts, rampaging hordes of Chinese, Germans or Muslims.  Mayan calendars are a load of bullshit.  Prophetic utterances by Church of God ministers and evangelists have proven to be bullshit. No Jesus Christ  but loads of bullshit.

EW King: Worlds Foremost Sports Prophet

God's greatest end time man servant, E W King, has had one of his prophecies come true!  At least in his delusional mind.

Below is what he wrote yesterday.  I love how King and Pack refer to themselves as "Mr."

Mr. E.W.King’s uncanny capability to predict ~ Sport Dilemma?

Mr. E.W.King posted a portion of his 2013 predicitons on November 7th,2012. He made an interesting statement regarding the world of American sports,..notice:

“We will see great controversy in the world of American sports. I do not have all the details regarding this but it is coming.”

Now notice what happened shortly after this was posted…we read the news story:

“It happened again, another chaotic and disturbing tragedy. An NFL player kills and then commits suicide.
Apparently, Kansas City Chiefs player Jovan Belcher, 25, argued with his girlfriend, with whom he had a 3-month-old daughter, and then shot her. He then went to the parking lot of Arrowhead Stadium where he took his own life, standing only 10 yards from his coach and police.” http://www.gloucestertimes.com/

Mr. E.W.King said during a talk that he gave in 2011 that he feared great changes in the professional sports world of America that would amount to federal control of the worst kind. Will we see this happen? Let’s stay tuned to COGSR for guidance.

James Malm: HWA Was An Apostate and NOT An Apostle

Apostle Malm is sure to tick off many of his rabid HWA followers with the following statement.  Malm claims HWA was an apostate and false teacher.  Yet, everything Malm teaches is the stuff he learned from HWA and his ministry.  Malm though, has taken all of HWA's teachings to a depth of depravity that HWA never even imagined!

In the 70s HWA watered down Sabbath, Holy Days and many other doctrines, most importantly he exalted himself above God by saying that he was the later day Peter [the Catholic Primacy of Peter heresy] and could bind and loose God’s word as he chose. He then said that he could do anything HE wanted and God had to back him up; making himself sovereign and God subject to HWA’s will.

HWA was an apostle only in the fact that all elders of the COG7 were ordained as elders and apostles. Later when he returned his credentials to them he gave up those titles and then he claimed that he was a prophet [he had very close to a 100% failure rate in his prophetic proclaimations] and the ONLY apostle since the first century; not a humble bone in that man’s body.

This man was an apostate and NOT an apostle of Jesus Christ. It is my sincere hope and prayer that he found a place of repentance before he died.