Thursday, September 12, 2013

Ron Weinland: Through the Ordination of My Crazy Wife the Curse of Eve Has Been Lifted



Ron Weinland, aka Weinerdude, the imprisoned Church of God leader and false prophet, has released another missive about the roll of women in his cult.

Ron had some time ago, raised his loony wife to the position of #2 of the Two Witless Witnesses.  Laura is now on par with the position of Weinerdude in the church.  She was to hold this prophetic office in the end times.

What these too crazy idiots failed to realize or foresee, was that Ron would soon be sitting in jail for a prophetic three and one half years for tax evasion.  After years of spending money on trips to Vegas, furs and diamonds, the IRS finally caught up with Ron.  Loony Laura and equally weird Audra were raised up to carry on Weinerdude's ministry.

It appears that some men in Weinerdude's cult are having an issue with Witless Witness Laura and Money Manipulator Audra telling them what to do.  After gallivanting around Europe this summer where they were not exactly received warmly, Ron has had to correct his dwindling flock.

He writes:

God has revealed that now and on into the Millennium, the “basic” structure for family will still be the husband as the head of the wife. Yet even now, God has already begun to reveal that His structure of government in the family is “fully spiritual,” and it is to be administered spiritually. Ordination of women magnifies the true administration of how God’s government is to work (function) within the Church and within the family. The structure for government in the Church is by ordination, and it is to always be administered spiritually. Within the Church, there is an order of structure for the “administration” of God’s ways. Most are familiar with that structure as it currently begins with an elder, then evangelist, prophet, and then an apostle.
Every time a false prophet in Armstrongism has a prophetic failure it has to be "spiritualized" away.  While it did not happen "literally," it happened "spiritually."

Did you know that when an ordination happens it changes the way the Holy Spirit works in the church and in the family?

God’s people are coming to more clearly “see” that the administration of God’s ways (government, laws, etc.) are spiritual in how they are to be practiced and lived within the Church and within the family. Ordination also reveals the way (or flow) of how God’s spirit can (and does) change the order of God’s government, not only in the Church, but also in a family. An individual who is ordained from a sr. elder to an evangelist affects the way (the flow, the order) of how God’s spirit works (administers God’s ways) within the Church. Any other raise in ordination does likewise. The same is true in a family. If a wife in a family is ordained to an elder (and the husband is not), this affects the way – the flow – the order – of how God’s spirit works (administers God’s ways) within the family. 

In the very near future, sermons will be given and booklets written that expound upon this principle, just as such has happened in times past utilizing the guidelines given by Paul to husbands and wives.
Through Weinerdude himself, the "curse" of Eve has now been lifted.

Through the 53rd Truth, in which God revealed how that women could now be ordained into the ministry of His Church, God has also more fully opened “the way” for the removal of the curse that has been upon women from the beginning. This great truth alone reveals so much more about “the spirit” of marriage that will produce a much closer relationship within families and with God throughout the Millennium.


10 comments:

Joe Moeller said...

Pain in child bearing is part of the "Eve Curse"

By following Weinland's goofy thought process to its conclusion, then this implies that women in his sect would not bare children in pain, any longer would it not?

I dont think this will be happening anytime soon!

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY



Head Usher said...

You're acquainted with Situational Ethics? Well, she has more reclusive, but just as widely traveled cousin, Situational Doctrine, who it appears has come to pay Ron and Laura a visit.

Whatever you gotta say to keep the right people calling the shots and the money coming it, that's what will be said!

I was "blind" but now I "see"...

Anonymous said...

Why doesn't #1 of the two witnesses use his super power and vaporize the guards and escape prison, while #2 of the two witnesses vaporizes the concrete walls of the prison, creating an escape route for #1??? What a demonstration of their power!!!

Anonymous said...

...or better yet, why has Witness #2 never done any witnessing? Don't you think she should, especially now that Witness #1 is out of action for a time, times, and half a time? You can call her Witness #2, but if she's never done any witnessing, then how can she possibly be one?

Anonymous said...

Witnesses that are not witnessing? We should add more adjectives to the Witless Witnesses. Witless Witnesses Not Witnessing and Unable to Witness for lack of something to witness . . . or how about calling them the two witless blind witnesses . .. or maybe the two witless eyeless witnesses. . .or the two witless sightless withnesses ...

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Ron's fellow prison inmates read this stuff and tease him about it.

Byker Bob said...

This illustrates perfectly how superstition can be embraced within cultic subsets of Christianity, then attributed to the Holy Spirit by ministers and members. It is what happens when one attempts to fake the gifts. Weinland, at best, is adept at creative writing. And, that is where it stops.

BB

Steve said...

The only #1 and #2 that these witlesses associate with is what they leave in the bathroom.

Corky said...

Joe Moeller said...

Pain in child bearing is part of the "Eve Curse"

So is being the submissive sex slave of the man too.

Corky said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

...or better yet, why has Witness #2 never done any witnessing? Don't you think she should, especially now that Witness #1 is out of action for a time, times, and half a time? You can call her Witness #2, but if she's never done any witnessing, then how can she possibly be one?

That has to be prophetic, "a time, times and a dividing of time". Verily, this man is fulfilling prophecy by getting thrown in jail.

David Pack - are you picking up on this? Doesn't it fit in with your Haggai prophecy? I think it would have to...