Sunday, March 27, 2011

New COG Prophetess Arises: Meet Prophet Val







It's not often that the Churches of God are graced with female prophets.  What's that I said?  A female COG prophet?  Never!  God does not allow it.  Sure we have had a few women here and there that have popped up over the years claiming that they had a message from God.  However, none have ever been as bold as our new self appointed prophet.


Armstrongism's prophets have always been men.  HWA, GTA, Meredith, Flurry, Pack, Cox, Weinland, Waterhouse, etc.  These are men who self-appointed themselves to be the mouthpiece for God. God reveals himself through these men and the world had better sit up and listen.  Otherwise, you will be SPANKED!

Women are to be submissive to men and not rule over them.  They are not to speak in churches or instruct men.  They are to keep their heads covered while in church.  Or, so says Armstrongism ministers.  

Rejoice ye minions!  Your new oracle has arrived with a message from God proving to all doubters that she is an end time prophet:


It is written: One woman delivers the true word John1:1, Rev 12:5, Rev 12:13 that restores Acts 3:21 all things to the world before Christ’s return. She exposes the lies of Satan who has deceived the whole world Rev 12:9. She creates a new thing in the earth fulfilling God’s promise to Eve Gen 3:15, Jer 31:22, Isa 14:16. She is like Moses Acts 3:22, Num 12:3 and she is like Elijah Matt 17:11  her witness alone from the wilderness Rev 12:6  turns the hearts of the fathers to the children Mal 4:5-6 to prepare a people for the coming millennium before the great and dreadful day of the Lord Matt 17:3, Luke 9:30. Moses and Elijah are together with the word Matt 17:3. These three are in this woman. Woe on those who claim to be Christians but refuse to hear Acts 3:23 the true word of God commanded to be written and delivered to the world free of charge, as a witness and a warning Rev 12:12-13, at the heel of time.  This true word delivered turns the hearts of the fathers to the children of God by giving the truth that not one child of God will be put in a hell fire no matter what their sins. It never entered the heart or mind of God to do such a thing Jer 7:31, Jer 19:5. God created evil Isa 45:7 to teach his children the knowledge of good and evil Rom 8:7, Gen 3:22 so that at their resurrection they are ready to become a god Matt 22:29-30, Ps 82:6. Prove all things. Be a workman that needeth not to be ashamed. You cannot rightly judge this unless you read all that has been written. I am she. A true witness delivereth1 Pet 2:5, 1 Pet 2:9. souls… all souls are now delivered Pro 14:25,


Say hello to the Church of  God's new prophet:  Hello Val!

Val also has this to say about the Bible  (KJV only, of course).


The Bible that must be studied the hard way of here a little and there a little for solving the hidden pieces of line upon line to rightly separate the word of love is the King James Version, the other versions have been altered for the convenience of man. God began this end time country with the King James Bible plus he provided study aids to go with this Bible. Other versions are helpful to more easily understand by today's language but the hidden things cannot clearly be seen in the other versions until you have solved the puzzles first in the King James Version. Satan is the author of confusion(1 Cor 14:33). He inspired several different Bible versions all with the deceptive notion of making us think that the word of God would be easier for us to understand. But actually the other versions hide the way for us to see truth by blocking our ability to study precept on precept, line upon line, here a little and there a little as God instructed us in Isa 28:9-10.
A warning to all of you scoffers.  If you reject Val you reject God!

Some preachers have taught that the woman of Revelation 12 is a church. I believed this too at the time. This is because no one could ever imagine God giving a woman the boldness in the Holy Spirit to stand against Satan’s lies alone to deliver the true word of God to the world from the wilderness of cyberspace, (Rev 12:5-6) it is indeed a tall order for one to do. But nothing is impossible for God to do. He will accomplish all his will, I am living proof.
The true word of God now delivered is proven by the true word that is rightly divided on this website (Luke 1:17). If you reject his almighty word of power now delivered, you reject him.

Val also seems to have been listening to Spanky Meredith a little too much:

I did not want to do this and I told God so in 2006. I wanted my Christian life to be easy. It had taken me a long time to finally have a church family. God spanked me hard for this attitude.



I was so very heart broken and deeply pained (Rev 12:2) when my church family shunned me as crazy because of the true word that was growing inside me. I could not understand how others professing the Holy Spirit could treat me so unkind, especially when what I was telling them was of God (love). I asked God why? He told me, it is because they are lukewarm. He said, “they have a form of godliness but they deny my power” (2 Tim 3:5). All prophecies will be fulfilled. I too now say “not my will but thine be done”. I write all that he inspires; I do not want any more spankings. (emphasis mine)

 Val claims she is now turning the hearts of the fathers to the children and the children's hearts to their fathers.   HWA was not capable of doing that. Meredith still has not.  Weinland has not.  Flurry is an abysmal failure at it since he has deliberately broken hundreds of families apart and destroyed parent/child relationships.  Satan is also preparing to swiftly attack her:

Some preachers have taught that the two wings of a great eagle is an airplane that they think will fly this church worth of people into the wilderness. This is not true; when Satan tries to destroy me (Rev 12:17) there will be no time for anyone to board a plane let alone a whole congregation to then take off into the air. The fact is his attack will be so swift that the earth has to open up to help me (Rev 12:16). As Elijah was taken into the air (2 Kings 2:1) so will happen for me (Rev 12:13-14). This website does turn the hearts of the fathers to the children by the word and will of God to prepare a people with his everlasting love for the coming millennial rule of Christ.

She also seems to have the disease of Meredithism - spanking.  She talks about spanking a lot!

How does our invisible Father get our mortal attention? It is through trials and spankings of which we all are partakers


Like all good prophets, Val has written a book. Not a real book, but a pdf book.  The Good Tale

You can checkout Val's mighty words of malarkey here:  Prophet Val

Friday, March 25, 2011

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Another Armstrongite 'prophet', That's Who!



Move over HWA!  Move over Meredith!  Move over Flurry, Pack, Weinland, Cox!  You have new competition!  Well, actually you don't.  You are worthless, irrelvant, apostates who do not know the real god.


A new 'voice' is crying out in the wilderness and is here to save all of you lazy, good for nothing, smelly Laodiceans.  It is another HWA necromancy site. It's all things Herb, all the time. Lot's of cheesy videos of a nutjob that quickly grates on your ears after the first introduction! The Laodicean Knock


There are no true ministers of God left on earth except for this guy.:   L F Maschio  


At least Maschio has a new angle.  Instead of a god giddy with excitement about SPANKING the world with hoards of marching Germans or raging Islamic hoards, Maschio's god is year to 'knock' you.


After being a member, and serving for many years in different  organizations “both tyrannical and liberal”. Mr. Maschio was forced to conclude  that  every senior minister privileged to be ordained during the   Philadelphian era (of which we are aware) have either compromised  themselves,  become corrupt, or strayed from the faith. 
After the death of Herbert W Armstrong, men such as Garner Ted Armstrong, Gerald Flurry, Roderick C. Meredith, David C. Pack, David Hulme, Ronald Weinland and many others have dominated the landscape of Laodicea. Since then, the fruits of the collective ministry of groups such as the PCG, LCG, RCG, UCG, etc. have produced heresy, division, compromise, slander, failed prophecies, and self-righteousness!
These fruits have prompted the LIVING JESUS CHRIST into The Prophesied call to action in the form of a KNOCK to Laodicea.