Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Dennis On: A Final Realization About Forgiveness







A Final Realization About Forgiveness



Dennis Diehl - EzineArticles Expert AuthorIf it is one concept that religious people are familiar with, either by choice or by force,  it is FORGIVENESS.

Here is what I wrote about the topic the last time I faced this demon believing I had reached the final stage in dealing with my own perspectives, consequences and losses in pastoring in the World Wide Church of God.


"There is one solution that seems to be the last one we really want to employ. Somehow, we inherently know that if we apply it and mean it, it will free us from all the drama/trauma. Mostly we don't know how to do it and find that what we intend to be a permanent solution to the painful life experiences we have, is merely temporary. The ultimate solution to our perverse chemistry of reliving, over and over the negative emotions that hurt mainly ourselves is FORGIVENESS.

Forgiveness is either the easiest thing on earth to do and we just don't get it, or it is the most difficult. I sometimes feel that if I forgive whoever or whatever it is that still plagues my mind at times, they or it will be getting away with something. If I forgive them, they will for sure! 

If I FORGIVE, they will win. So not forgiving ensures they don't. My ego, my "little self" will want to get even, or be right, or get an apology or just keep on fighting on and on what is or was. On the other hand, allowing things to be as they are is really what we call GRACE. The rest is all just memories and chemistry in MY head. It is not real.

I remember when a past Pope forgave, very publically, the man who put a near fatal bullet in him. I remember thinking that since the Pope is a professional forgiver, or has to be, it was not the magnificient example it was meant to be. The Pope has to forgive you! Now if the father of Nick Berg, the first American beheaded in Iraq, forgives that evil act done by those evil men, that is real! I undestand that Mr. Berg is just such a remarkable person, or wants to be inspite of the pain of those events.

 If you offend your pastor , or friends in the church in some way, just tell them "well forgive me." They have to!  He's a minister and it's a Church!

I want to forgive for my sake. Of course, there are a few things in life I want to be forgiven for as well as there is a chemistry of guilt or shame set off when I think of those things and don't stop and accept myself as just human like everyone else. Many ministers feel they have to give the impression they are past all that and do no wrong, or admit to little wrongs to appear human, but everyone has "the other side." Every minister I know wears at least one mask...

Forgiving comes in stages. I suppose it can be instant and final but mostly it comes in increments in practical fact. We forgive so that what eats us doesn't destroy us. We forgive because somehow we know that we all can be just as foolish or hurtful as we feel others have been towards us. We forgive because what else is there is to do and have a real life. We forgive to see how life can bless us for doing so and that things do work out exactly as they should for us.

Forgiving has to be specific and not generic. You can't forgive an organization or an all encompassing Church denomination. Abused Catholics can't forgive the Catholic Church or even the Pope. They must forgive the specific abuse, priest or member. I can't forgive the Worldwide Church of God. I have to forgive the players who created it, took advantage of my good intentions and spiritual seeking and changed it from something I could relate to, when I took the Bible as literally true, and returned me to a theology I found wanting as I grew up with it. I have to forigve them for the idea that reinventing the wheel, for me, was new and exciting. It was not and I lost my heart for it all.

Our forgiving others cannot depend on whether others forgive us first. If that is true, then we are at the mercy of others and probably dead in the water on this topic until others give us permission to forgive and move ahead in life. We can only do our part and we can only do it when we are able and understand deeply the benefit of forgiving to all concerned. That can take time, or not, depending on how willing we are to let it go and get out of the past into a more real and loving present."

That's where I left this topic a few years back. I thought it was about the best answer I could come up to move on.

I think I left out the last stage or perhaps this is the only stage for an open and enlightened mind that really wants to move on and finally answer "how does forgiving or not forgiving serve me?"

Think very carefully on this next sentence...

"Forgiveness, in my experience, happens when the NEED to forgive or be forgiven IS LET GO OF. When we realize that everyone ..EVERYONE...does the best they possibly can under the circumstances of conditioning, there is  no need to forgive or be forgiven.  Forgiveness is THE LETTING GO OF THE NEED TO FORGIVE."  author unknown.

I can't improve on that. Forgiveness is the letting go of the NEED to forgive.  That's it.  If I no longer need to forgive and fighting all the "but they got away with it," or "somehow I don't feel good about forgiving," falls meaningless.  I have been told that forgiveness is not for "them" but for me.  I can go with that, but somehow it never feels like it's over.  Giving up the need to forgive is very liberating. Getting over the idea that someone has to say, "you're right, I was wrong" before I am satisfied, is as well.  Besides, we always suspect people say they are sorry only because they just want us off their backs and don't really mean it or care what you think ultimately.  It simply never seem finished.

I have never heard an Armstrong or a Tkach say, "I'm sorry" about anything.  I cannot live my life waiting for their lights to go on.  I made my choices as well and I have more of a time forgiving myself for being so gullible or stupid or naive than saying I forgive "them."  It is more peaceful to come to the conclusion that I don't even have to struggle with forgiving myself.  I have no need to forgive myself. I was doing the best I could at the time and wild horses could not have taken me out of the church at that time.  Today, that is all over with. 

So perhaps the final stage is losing the very need to forgive.  Stage one is "I'm mad as hell and I'm going to foam out my rage."  Stage Two is "I forgive."  (Most never get this far from what I can see).  and Stage Three may just be, "I don't have a need any longer to forgive."  It was what it was and is what it is and resisiting it all is insanity and hurting my body, mind and spirit. 

I will not give anyone the power run the contents of my mind or emotions again by their actions whether noble or profoundly stupid. I will no longer struggle over finding that forgiving feeling that seems to ellude.

I simple give up the need to forgive .


Forgiveness truly is the letting go of the need to forgive.




Dennis C. Diehl
DenniscDiehl@aol.com

Idiots in the Pulpit: Witches Switchboards Light Up Every Time A Harry Potter Book is Published


It is no wonder people look at Christians and make fun of them when morons like this are sitting there blatantly lying.


Monday, October 17, 2011

Getting Happy-Clappy At The Feast - Or Not?




It's Feast time again and tens of thousands of COG members are gathered together around the world to hear amazing sermons and exquisite music. 

Oh sorry, wrong decade.

Let's start over.

It's Feast time again and 10's of people are gathered at various Festival sites to hear recycled sermons and some half way well done music.

Imagine getting to listen to well trained choirs and voices of superb singers singing songs of praise to God. Well, we all know those days are over.  No mass choirs with orchestra like we had in the Pocono's one year.  No huge choir with a majestic organ like we had in Jekyll Island.

I am sure there are still good singers in the COG who honestly do try their best.  Plus, who cannot help but clap for the kids when they get up and sing!

The WCG and its various harlot daughters over the years have jumped from clapping to no clapping and then back again, over and over.

A report came in to me today that in one area where members were forbidden to to clap for music or sermons.  The reason was:
"There is no clapping at the Feast so no one has pre-eminence above another to lift them up to give them special attention".
That's pretty strange considering how HWA thrived on the clapping.  I remember while at the huge Feast sites in Jekyll Island, Lake of the Ozarks, Pocono's, St Petersburg, etc., clapping like lusty seals the minute HWA or GTA's name was announced.  Men and women wept at the sight of these men mounting the stage.  
 
Being a deacon in Pasadena I remember for years being told that we were to initiate clapping the minute HWA, GTA, or Tkach Sr. came out on stage.  We were to immediately jump to our feet and start clapping.  It was standard practice anywhere HWA went.  His handlers sometimes would prep the sites they were visiting with instructions to make sure people clapped.

Congregations and Feast sites even clapped for his sermons, besides his entrances and exits.
 
Here is a sermon in the 1980's HWA gave where the members sat there clapping when he made one of his bombastic comments:
  This subject is causing a lot of trouble.
 
“Today I would like to speak on what may be the very next attack” on the Church by Satan (ie. preventing interracial marriages from taking place in the Church).
 
‘Satan is going to use interracial marriage as the next attack upon God’s Church’.
 
“If we want to be with God, get on his side. Or get on Satan’s side and go into the lake of fire” with regard to this question.
 
I will not compromise one millionth of an inch on social trends of interracial marriage.
 
Some say we must have racial balance in this world – we will not go the way of Satan!
 
‘But I say that for me and my family, we shall serve the eternal God’ (in relation to interracial marriages). [audience claps loudly in support]The Sin of Interracial Marriage
      
But then as HWA started to age he sat at home more and more and watched services on his TV.  When he started seeing the sheep clapping after sermons by Meredith, Hoeh or Waterhouse, he started to get perturbed.  Clapping was soon banned because these men were starting to get big heads and expected it.  Meredith was could be one grumpy dude when no one clapped after his sermons.

You can go to each of the 600 some splinter groups sites and find 600 some different ways on dealing with clapping. Most do it.

Even the Seventh Day Adventists don't have that much of an issue with it.
    There is no clear evidence that this gesture was part of worship in the Old and New Testaments. In fact, I didn't find the phrase in the entire New Testament. Therefore, there does not seem to be any biblical parallel to what takes place in our churches today.
      You may ask, "Why do we do it?" I'm not sure. I suspect that we incorporated clapping into our services from our cultural environment. Clapping is usually associated with the entertainment industry, but has become very popular in televised evangelical religious services. Perhaps we copied it from them.
      Leaving aside the issue of cultural influence, I suppose that what really matters is that each person be fully aware of the reasons he or she claps in church. Motivation becomes extremely important in this context. Is it an expression of joy in the Lord and His saving power? Is it only a physical expression or a substitute for what used to be the audible amen? Or is it a recognition of the good performance of the singer or the preacher? Adventist Biblical Research

So why does your Feast site allow it and others don't?  Why does your minister tell you not to do it when HWA and others thrived on it and expected it?  


Is he really afraid that when you clap after his sermon that you are actually GLAD he is walking off the stage?