Needed: Creative App For COG Laodicean Alerts

This has been making the rounds of various COG blogs and Facebook pages.  I think some creative person with an Armstrongite background needs to come up with a COG Alert.  

That would save a lot of problems when you are ordering extra bacon on your pizza,

 or smoking a cigar at the local cigar lounge.

This would work great in Branson this year to alert you when heretic COG members from the other 6 splinter groups are entering the same restaurant as you.  This would prevent you sharing bowling lanes with unconverted heathens from other COG's

Dennis Muses on Spiritual Babies...

 

The Evolution of Theological Ignorance and Blundering in the Restored Church of God

 

Sabbath, August 31st, 2013 will be like none other. One church again!  One building!  One Spokesman Club. One leader!  One income!  Yay!!!!!

 

 

Hmmm...It's Wednesday and I'm not seeing a lot of movement.  Phones are too quiet. This is troubling.  No...I'll be fine.

 

 

Oh please Lord...It's Friday night.  I gotta speak in the afternoon tomorrow...

 

 

Yeah...I know it's Sabbath morning...  I don't need your input.  Go submit a paper on it and shove a copy down the Council's throats.

 

 

Stop asking me what am I going to say!!!  I'll think of something!  I'm not wrong! I am... I am...

Hey....I like that title.  I am!

 

 

Ok..ok...I got it.  I know how to handle this baby...

 

 

 

I can do this!  I know how HWA got out of this stuff.  God has given me a template for this too.

 

 

I never said I waaaas Joshua.  It's a type!  It's spiiiritual!  You people just don't get it!

Sometimes I think not half of you are converted.    God has given us more time to reach the splinters.  We should be thrilled and happy. We have much to do and a college to build. Time is short but not that short.  I was bored..ok!  You happy?  I needed something overarching to do with myself this past summer!  So excuuuuuuuse me for livin'!  Now go tell those women they have no say!  Church women...tell your husbands to give more!  Now....I was looking at another Steuben piece for my office...

 

 

So right there Gary, Dennis, Biker Bob, Moeller, Glenn, Douglas, Usher and all you losers  on Banned HWA, which I don't read by the way...

 

 

Have you guys seen how cool we cut the grass around here!

Awesome, Makes ya gyrate in your seats don't it!  And NO ONE has ever quite cut grass like we cut grass.  I'm gonna be just fine!

Onward!!!!!

 

Laura Weinland (Prophetess) and Audra Weinland (Money Manipulator) Say: "Even if you do NOT have a job you are STILL required to send in money."

Prophetess Laura Weinland, wife of imprisoned FELON Ron Weinland and #2 of the Witless Witnesses, along with her money grubbing daughter Audra, are getting pissed that COGPK members are NOT sending in their tithes and offerings now that Little Daddy is having playtime with Big Bubba.

Because the money stream has slowed significantly since Weienerdude has been in prison, Audra has started doing tithe checks on members, especially if they have asked for Feast assistance.  Money manipulator Audra soon discovered that a lot of members are not sending in their tithes or offerings.  This cannot be!  Prophetess Laura and Audra have to keep their standard of living up!  This is especially true of Audra since she is getting divorced from her husband.

Of course it is always the members fault.  They are in a bad attitude and in a state of REBELLION!   How sick is that?

A case in point, to show the wrong spirit of a few, there has been an attitude that has been reflected toward God in the matter of tithing (1st and 2nd) and Holy Day offerings. Knowing the subject matter of Wayne’s sermon being about rebellion, Laura wanted it communicated to Wayne about this specific attitude, as she knew he was already addressing a matter about monthly reports that the ministry have been told to submit each month. As one of Audra’s many tasks in working for the Church, she has been asked to check tithing and/or offering records of anyone who is seeking 2nd Tithe Assistance for the Feast of Tabernacles. The reason for this becomes obvious as I quote what she sent to Wayne about this matter that Laura wanted him to be aware of. He will likely be covering some of this in his sermon, but I do not know at this point. Here is what she sent:

“I was talking with mom and she told me to tell you about the conversation I had with her. We’ve been looking up tithing records for those who have requested Feast assistance and have noticed a few who haven’t given anything in the last year, or two years, and that includes 0 (zero) Holy Day offerings. She said that it needs to be addressed in a sermon, and I said to her, “Well I don’t understand because it has ALREADY been mentioned over and over before! Tithing has not only been mentioned over and over but Holy Day offerings too, and it has been stated that even if you don’t have a job or you are on a limited income, anyone can at least send in a dollar, and it’s commanded by God to do so.” So I mentioned that it was just like the topic in your sermon “Rebellion,” and that it was just like any elder who would think that they didn’t need to send in a report, in the same way, those people feel like they can “choose” not to send in a Holy Day offering, after they’ve been commanded to do so by God. Even after that had been repeated over and over in sermons already. It baffles me that people would even ask for assistance in a situation like that when they won’t even send in 1 dollar for over a year! If they think they can ask (and would have the nerve to do so) for something physical (money), when they can’t do what they are told to do physically (sending in an offering) then do they kid themselves into thinking they can ask for anything spiritual from God, and that He would give them anything? If they can’t do something small on a physical plain why would they think they would get anything on a spiritual plain?”

Dave Pack: While the World's Greatest COG Reunification Ever Happens, Dave Remains Silent

You would think that as we hit the last week in Dave's gunlap towards the Great Church of God Reunification that he would be reporting ministers from the top three COG's had already started coming over.  By sharing their names he would get followers from each particular group joining with them.  So far, various people from various COG's are reporting that not a single person has left to join Dave.

So how has all of that been going so far?  All Dave is able to report over the last three weeks is that he had some more sod laid on his compound, some more trees planted, and a parking lot finished.  I guess that little lot is to accommodate the tens of thousands of cars that will soon be caravaning to Wadsworth.

Is the City of Wadsworth's infrastructure ready to handle the tens of thousands of COG members who will be coming to bow down at Dave's feet?  That many people flocking to Dave's compound will be a serious strain on the sewer system of the city.  The city dump will be overwhelmed.

I can just picture Dave and The Sixteen, standing in the third floor of his Hall of Ad this coming Saturday, looking wistfully down the driveway at the big lot store wondering where all the cars are. What will be going through the minds of The Sixteen?  Will they realize that hooked their wagons up with a lying charlatan?  Imagine what is going through Dale Schurter's mind right now.  Is he starting to realize the things he gave up to be with Dave?

Six days remain till the final day of restoration.  Of course a lot can happen this week.  War may start in Syria and Dave will use that as a prophetic diversion. There will be wildfires in California, heavy rain in the East, picnic's by the river, cars to be repaired, groceries to be bought and kids to get ready for school.  Come September 1, 2013 we will all be here wondering what happened.  Of course we all know the answer to that: NOTHING!

Dennis Muses on...

You Tell Me...

This past Sunday I sat, for the first time in almost 15 years, through the formal service of Christ Church Episcopal here in Greenville.  Services follow a very rigid liturgical format. Nothing happens or is said that is not suppose to happen or be said.  There was a time to rise and a time to kneel, a time to sing and a time to listen to singing.  The prayers were read and the congregational responses to the Pastors readings were standard and predictable.  It is not the kind of service I would look forward to every week for  it lacked an openness of teaching that seems to be what would motivate myself in such a position.  It did seem the congregation was probably Biblically basic in exposure and that job clearly rests on the shoulders of their clergy in services. Outside of services I would bet it is business as usual and mind your own business.

The Homily for the week was the following:

Luke 13:10-17

New Living Translation

Jesus Heals on the Sabbath

¹⁰ One Sabbath day as Jesus was teaching in a synagogue, ¹¹ he saw a woman who had been crippled by an evil spirit. She had been bent double for eighteen years and was unable to stand up straight. ¹² When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said, “Dear woman, you are healed of your sickness!” ¹³ Then he touched her, and instantly she could stand straight. How she praised God!

¹⁴ But the leader in charge of the synagogue was indignant that Jesus had healed her on the Sabbath day. “There are six days of the week for working,” he said to the crowd. “Come on those days to be healed, not on the Sabbath.”
¹⁵ But the Lord replied, “You hypocrites! Each of you works on the Sabbath day! Don’t you untie your ox or your donkey from its stall on the Sabbath and lead it out for water? ¹⁶ This dear woman, a daughter of Abraham, has been held in bondage by Satan for eighteen years. Isn’t it right that she be released, even on the Sabbath?”
¹⁷ This shamed his enemies, but all the people rejoiced at the wonderful things he did."

While the service was 75 minutes, the sermon was perhaps 12 or a sermonette as we would know it.  There may be some leeway for the Pastor, but not much.  He was very good at his analysis of this passage and his theological education showed through.  He took the side of both Jesus AND the Rabbi or Pharisee who felt so responsible to keep the people on track in Sabbath keeping.   The Rabbi was not self righteous about this.  He was concerned that there be no "work" on Sabbath as said all the law and the prophets.  Gospel Jesus, of course, made his point in the story which was the point to be made, but I appreciated taking a compassionate understanding of the Rabbi who felt responsible to teach as well.  It was not off base one bit to wonder why Jesus could not have done this on the day before or the day after the Sabbath on the Rabbi's part since the woman had an 18 year problem that was not fatal and she was not in need of immediate help.  It was a good message on the passage.

My sense was that Episcopalians would never care to comment or speculate on when and how Jesus was going to return. I doubt they give a rats ass about "prophecy coming alive" or just which Episcopal Church is the true one.  There are no gurus, Apostles who get the last word or men who seem to need more medications than congregations. Christ Church has had it's splits but usually over social issues and conservative vs. liberal views. 

 Christ church pays these men very very well because they work very hard serving the congregation and did the hard work of a detailed theological education for their denomination.  I can't imagine the peels of laughter the congregation would let loose should the minister declare himself to be an Apostle, a Prophet , The Watcher or Joshua the High Priest as literally spoken of and predictions made  for August of 2013.  It just would never happen. 

He just said what?

So as I sat there musing on my own past and perceived losses in my own good intentions in becoming a part of WCG when very young and idealistic, I also thought..."What if this man stood up today, in front of this congregation,  and said things like...

"I want to make a statement about...me...now, if I became deceived, I will never tell you what I'm going to tell you now...I am telling you if I go off into strange ideas, misconduct, rebellion, you name it, don't follow me. I want to tell you that now, because if I start doing that I'm gonna try to get you to follow me! I'm gonna come to you and tell you it doesn't apply, it doesn't mean me, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's OK to follow me because ABCD and XY and Z. Do you understand what I'm saying? Listen to me now, when I tell you don't follow me if I go off into weird ideas, or if I get off into other things that are total absolutely unscriptural conduct, because if I do I'm gonna paint it with a different face and try to get you to follow me. Do you understand what I'm saying brethren? Please remember that, because I promise you that if I become deceived, I'll forget it, and I'll want you to forget it...And I hope you'll remember it well enough to quote it right back to me...But I'll tell you what, I'm not going anywhere."

or

"Yeah, I know, one or two can leave and say, 'Hey, you stopped preaching and started meddling, now you're messing with my goods here on earth' "
"First Timothy 6 verse 17...'Charge them that are rich in this world'...If you were born in the United States, Britain, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, then you're rich"
"If you hold those riches, I'm telling you, you trust in them"
"Go get a big chunk out of your home. And put your money where your mouth is and send it here. And I'm not talking about one, two, three thousand either. How about ten, twenty, thirty, fifty, or one hundred thousand dollars? Go do it."
"Wives, you can be independent in this. You have 1/2 the worth of whatever you have in your house.

I'm officially telling you this...Wives, legally you have the 1/2 the funds. What are you going to do about it?...Husbands...'well, my wife is not in the church'...tell her...'you don't have a voice woman' "

"Go get those assets and get them here?"

or

"This is different...ask Him for the faith to liquidate certain assets and give it to the work"

or


"I'll say it again, we are talking about liquidating existing assets...it all belongs to God and the brethren"


He's shittin' us right?

or

"We have a lot of plans so big going on in this office it would cause just this room to to rock and gyrate if you knew what was going on. We just need a lot of money and we need it post haste...I would give more if I had it"

or

"Let us know how much you plan to send and when you plan to send it...You must be willing to communicate... If you do need to counsel, please do that...If you are not ready to distribute what you have...you don't believe the flow of prophecy"

I don't believe in the flow of what for what reason?  I believe in cash flow. Does that count?

or

  

"This is announcing the LAST  (Sure it is...) blast, the clarion call as it were, to finish the work...Whether it is 4,5,7, 9 years to go, God knows...This is liquidating assets...I have the authority to tell you to do it... I have the moral and spiritual, and ecclesiastical authority to tell you to do what I have also done"

 He has the what...to tell us what?

or

"Get it now when it requires faith... when you are dead you don't need it... if you named us in your wills, it can take us months or years to get it"
 

But..but...I'm not dead...I do need it

or

"The wives in the faith will say give everything you can...We don't have the luxury of waiting years...today, leaving everything in your will simply doesn't work"

 So we kill ourselves now?

or

"Now you just have a second mortgage... and frankly we flee before most of it ever becomes due"

 Should I tell the bank that?

or

"...some may think that they want to tap their 401k--maybe you want to let us know that... why would you want to tell us? We are starting to prepare a budget now, the needs are now...it would be nice to know now"
"Think big...Pull big triggers"

Yeah...we'll get back to you on that right away....

or

"There is only two positions you can take regarding all that I have mentioned, only two, there is no middle ground. You're either going to yield, to submit and to follow, the clarion call that the time is now or you're not. And postponing a decision is deciding not to do it...It's saying I'm going to wait until it gets closer because it is not there yet...Don't say that I'm going to wait until it gets closer, when I can see...The decision is that my treasure stays on earth or I goes to heaven. Period. I will not lay up for times to come or I will. And this is the real test of Laodicea... either hold on to your assets... or give it... God is in this decision, no question.

or

"We live in the most materialistic age in the history of the world. People trust in physical things. They trust in bank accounts...If you have excess and don't need it, those verses mean you...That's the Laodicean attitude...Put your money where your mouth is...Empty your assets"

Put my what where?  Do What?

or

"There is only one place He works...Where the...work is...that's where God is working...one elder commented here at headquarters, if people can't be motivated by a clarion call to finish the work such as this, why will those same people somehow believe the internal signal given to the church of the 1335? Why would they believe it?"

or

"This is the Laodicean age...Be careful that you don't tell us how to spend your assets... It belongs to God.. You don't tell God or His servants how to spend it"
"Your faith is being tested. Think about that"

                   
                                     Hooooly  Shit.....Did he just say what I thought he said?????  

or

"The purposes of the fast...(a). To fast for God's intervention...(b).Fast for personal faith and courage to follow what I am asking you to do...(c). Fast for personal strength...(d)...Fast for faith and courage in others with more than you to give...Go get a big chunk out of your house...their assets, IRAs, and pension funds...(e). Ask God to move specific properties...that they have told us they want to sell. Pray that these properties move...that is part of what this fast is about"


I need a drink....

(Sorry to repeat these quotes of David C Pack but they are just stunning and need to be kept in the public view in my opinion. Perhaps they will be moot next week at this time.)

 

I know exactly what would happen at Christ Church or any Church in Greenville.  There would be a stunned reaction from the audience of very successful and decades long members of the Christ Church congregation to begin with.  I'm sure the other four pastors in attendance would escort the man from the pulpit, or the "pool pit" as the radio preachers call it.  I think the audience full of doctors, surgeons, dentists, bankers, businessmen, the Mayor of Greenville and many other highly educated and intelligent people would simply feel the man had gone off his rocker and they would wish him a good recovery. He'd never speak again and would be the topic of memories of "that day" for decades to come.  The news of his mental crash would spread through Greenville like a tsunami and there would be Episcopal services again as usual next week.  Christ Church did have it's experiences with arrogant and misguided types from my contacts and, while it took time, they did manage to run them off.  The survival of the church NEVER depended on the current pastor.

Why on God's Green Earth does it happen without fail in the Wild World of God Churches?  Why does a Gerald Flurry even exist as a religious leader?  Why oh why did and do people , however few in reality, identify with a Ron Weinland who never gave a meaningful sermon in his life and thought he could live like a King while telling people he and his wife were and are the Two Witnesses of Revelation?

What kind of people sat and sit listening and agreeing with Dave Pack over all this Spring and Summer Time foolishness that he is the Joshua spoken of in the Minor Prophet Haggai?  Who lets a man get away with the bullying for bucks and meanderings of thought over his self and ego centric importance to God and planet earth?  Are they just so used to ONE HUMAN BEING telling them the who, what, where, when, why and how of all things God and Christ that they simply cannot think anymore for themselves?   What kind of theological and religious dis-ease is this? 

Fear? Misplaced Hope? The scriptures seem right even though the minister seems nuts? The inability to shake the viper from their arm?  What?

Sad to say but in 5 days, Dave Pack, will be shown to be badly mistaken in just about everything he has let out of his mouth this past three months or more. I'm not stupid. They always find a way to recover. Maybe not this time.  I don't think Dave deserves to recover any credibility from all this but I don't think like his seat warming members do. This will be interesting and a bit fascinating for those who can stand by and not be the victims of it.

. 

You tell me...

  Contact Dennis at DennisCDiehl@aol.com