A blast from the past. What can you add to this list?
The WCG Talmud
The following list was compiled by Robert Gerringer, and first published by Ambassador Report in the 70's. It represents some of the customs and traditions of the Worldwide Church of God up until about 1973. How times change!
Do not use medicines or drugs.
Never wear sideburns below the middle of the ear, or comb your hair over the forehead.
Never dance without holding your partner and don't wiggle your hips.
Never listen to hard rock music.
Do not contribute to charities (Easter Seals, March of Dimes, etc.).
Women should wear skirts long enough to at least touch the top of the knee.
Women must wear their hair long enough to cover the nape of the neck.
Never vote in any elections.
Never join a political party.
Avoid doctors and hospitals.
Never receive a blood transfusion.
Do not donate blood.
Never serve in the military in any capacity.
Never celebrate Christmas, Easter, New Year's, Halloween, Valentines Day, St. Patrick's Day, or April Fool's. Celebrate Thanksgiving.
Do not have more than two drinks a night.
Don't be a teetotaler.
Never wear make-up.
Men should never wear a toupee or wig.
Women can only wear wigs if they are bald.
Never color your hair.
Women should not wear pants (except for sports activities).
Never ever smoke anything.
Pray at least 30 minutes a day.
Study your Bible at least thirty minutes a day.
Fast and meditate regularly.
Never join or remain a member of a "worldly" club (Elks, Lions, Kiwanis, etc.).
Watch only movies rated G and occasionally PG.
Do not observe Mother's Day in England (Mother's Day is OK in America).
Do not earn a living as a policeman, judge, fireman, physician, elected official (except Mayor of Big Sandy), astronaut, gambler, concert musician, actor or ballet dancer.
Never have a picture of "Christ", "God", "angels" or "saints."
Women should not go braless.
Women should not take "the Pill" or have an abortion.
Do not allow your children to join the boy scouts or girl scouts.
Children should not play "pretend" games.
Women should not wear Tampons.
Always take notes during church services.
Never call a minister "Reverend."
Never bring the "unconverted" to services without the minister's permission, this includes close relatives such as an unconverted mate and children over 16.
Never co-sign for a loan.
Do not wear heart shaped lockets.
Beware of classical music written by demon inspired composers.
Never serve on a jury.
Never sign over your body for scientific study.
Do not read the writings of philosophers such as Plato and Aristotle.
Do not vote for or initiate a labor strike.
Going to night clubs is allowed, in moderation.
Do not have organ music in church.
Men should not wear pink or flowery shirts.
Children should not be allowed to read fairy tales or nursery rhymes.
Single people should date widely.
Never date a non-Worldwide Church of God member.
Never neck on a date. If engaged, a good-night kiss is permissible, if not prolonged.
Never hold hands unless married or engaged.
When married, have sex only in the two approved positions; never kiss below the neck (pre-1960's), never kiss below the waist (pre-1975).
Dentists are OK.
Novocaine is OK.
Antibiotics are not OK.
Immunizations are not OK.
Only unmarried women should be employed.
Never date or marry outside your race.
The races should be segregated whenever possible.
Men should not wear beards.
Do not eat maraschino cherries.
Never get a tatoo.
Avoid "Protestant type" hymns.
Minimize contact with non-believers.
Use olive oil and wine on sores.
For weddings, use only the Herbert Armstrong approved ceremony.
Card playing is OK. Never listen to "soul music".
Have only a graveside service at funerals.
Never wear or own a crucifix. Never sign a letter "in Jesus' Name" unless you are a minister.
Church buildings should not have steeples or stained glass windows.
Never build or own an obelisk.
Never celebrate birthdays.
Don't go into partnerships in business.
Never say "God bless you" when someone sneezes (in fact, never say "God bless you").
Always buy "quality". Strive to become "cultured".
Do not break an engagement to be married.
Always get a minister's advice before making any important decisions (changing a job, marrying, selling your home, etc.).
Never go along with new styles or trends until at least 50% of the public has adopted them. Never be a leader in setting styles or trends.
Never support or attend the services of any Catholic or Protestant church. (The Catholic Church is the "great whore" of Revelation. It is Satan's church and Protestant churches are its children.)
Do not listen to preachers who teach contrary to the WCG doctrines.
Do not practice vegetarianism.
Do not have your body cremated.
Women should not wear two-piece bathing suits and especially not bikinis.
Men should not wear tight bathing suits (in England only).
Do not engage in sky diving (before David Armstrong's interest in same).
Never chew tobacco.
Do not speculate in stocks or bonds.
Never ever use "unnatural" farming methods (chemical fertilizers. pesticides, etc.).
Never act in, direct, produce or write a drama.
Never hypnotize anyone or be hypnotized.
Do not celebrate the 4th of July (pre-1965).
Do not adopt children.
Do not have your ears pierced.
Make ample use of corporal punishment in rearing children.
Do not use euphemisms such as gosh, darn or gee.
Do not create or own "modern" art.
Sex on Friday night is OK for married people.
Never go to a psychiatrist.
36 comments:
Well….
After reading this ‘list’ I do need to see a psychiatrist.
My goodness, bet you a hundred bucks this ‘list’ is well and alive in much of the remains of Armstrongism.
1973 was a little before my time, but I heard about or lived through most of those.
Men older than 14 must begin carrying a briefcase to WCG svcs., whether it hauls anything more than a bible & the hymnal, or not. It is the WCG equivalent of "bar mitzvah"
Do not wear ethnic costume clothing to svcs. unless you are actually in that country of it's origin. Only wear Serbian wonderful embroidered white dress shirts in Serbia. Otherwise, men must wear suit/tie 👔 with standard fake puffed false squared shoulder pads in their suitcoat along with fake ornamental non-functioning cut lapels. (take caution if you elect bow tie with the WCG suit)
Never contribute to P.E.T.A. or you will be labelled "Cain-like" (along with those leaning more toward pro-vegetable based diets in WCG)
Soul music : only Koreans in WCG can listen to "Seoul music" but not even Zaireans or Lesothans should enjoy "soul music"
Never question why Germany has no political dynamo leader yet in 1975 E.E.C. Never question why Germany pre-1975 in "prophecy" didn't even have all the francs & lire & pesetas & kronur coralled yet into any type of €uro currency.
Never question why you notice WCG big wigs swilling down copius quantities of Drambuie, Dewar's, Courvoisier, & Tanqueray at the Chula Vista during FOT in Wisc. Dells 🍸🍾
Never drink Night Train or T.J. Swann or Thunderbird or M.D. 20/20 at WCG feast
Never try dating the minister's daughter unless you have a Wall Street-like bank portfolio
Never try dating any female in WCG unless you have Wall Street-like portfolio
If your family watches Jacques Cousteau or Mutual Of Omaha's Wild Kingdom or Julia Child or Galloping Gourmet on Sabbath, do not disclose it to any brethren
If your family watches PBS more than ABC/NBC/CBS, do not share that with brethren
Never wish for minimum wage to go up, even when it is only $3.35 hr.
Never ride bicycle like they do often in The Netherlands if you can own & operate a gas guzzler automobile...not even on short trips to the corner 7-11
If you see brethren dine out at restaraunts & pay the cashier there during Sabbath, do not ask why Jewish persons generally won't eat out on Sabbath
If you notice dangerous boaters taking safety risk with female water skiers, do not raise any issue or complaint
If your pastor's wife complains about service staff problems & shortfalls during FOT travels, do not let your minister ever hear you complain about anything all year or he will think you are "grumbling" while he won't think she was
Never watch Ebenezer Scrooge movie or Charlie Brown xmas
Dont kiss "below the belly button".
Clearly recall a sermon of seven points in 70,s from a Mr Page - can’t name every one of them but one that stands out was “ you really have to be fasting at least once or twice a month brethren otherwise you’re simply not going to make it” and whole flavour was end is now very close
Oh yes- I did take notes but they’ve all been thrown out now
question re 'Beware of classical music written by demon inspired composers'
- I assume the same extended to homosexual composers as well not just demon possessed? I also assume the determination of how they were possessed would be more difficult than the former. Only ask as i recall poor old John Maynard Keynes being lambasted once and his theory and book on economics - because he was apparently homosexual. !
did you have in the list NO WHITE SUGAR?
i recall that one as being really important when at restaurants and so on
Read "times" as "seasons" - Ex 23:14
Twist "third year" to "third tithe" - Deut 26:12
Believe prophecy is dual because HWA said so
It's OK for men to wear a green suit
Substitute the word "15th" for "first day" in Deut 16:4
The bicycles used in the the Netherlands are especially designed for their flat terrain. They can't even be bought locally in America. Their stores are interspersed, so shopping typically involves short distances.
I've never heard of members being told to avoid blood transfusions.
Members are told to avoid psychologists or psychiatrists since they might be told that they are members of a high control cult. I knew some members who really needed professional help. There was one young lady who secretly felt she had facial deformities. It took me years to work this out since she was beautiful. In my view, she should have used her third tithe money to address this problem.
Do not say “Good luck,” or, “Fortunately” because of pagan.
Was told I could only wear white shirts and a plain color tie
"I've never heard of members being told to avoid blood transfusions."
Officially, all I can find is GTA assuring people in the 70s that receiving a transfusion from a donor of a different "race" is not harmful.
Granted, a lot of things went on in WCG outside the official, accessible publications that were still sanctioned by "headquarters". And of course there were always little high-and-mighty ministurds in the hierarchy that invented their own rules.
No beards??? I guess the 1950's business attire that was the standard of the time still ruled.
Ok 12:14, then as the author of 4:36, I can attest that we sure don't need any Dutch bikes here for our 7-11 trips. Our U.S. bikes have amazing gear clusters & derailleurs & shifters to propel you over hill or dale. (but where did my post infer that one needs a Dutch bike here? Wasn't I writing about simply getting "a" bike (of any kind), to simply add "to" or assist "with" our gas-guzzling lifestyle? Even Amish who live rural as you likely are too, will occasionally use a bike to do "other things" if no "interspersed shopping" is closeby.
But another hypothetical mindset of WCG mitzvot talmud would include : never support anyone promoting bicycle use when good standing WCG rednecks would prefer all to adapt the Henry Ford mentality & support the auto & gas industry 1st (especially since petrodollar is at "risk" aaauugh if alternative lifestyle "hippies" in the church start riding bicycles once in a while).
Blood transfusions? WCG ministers in different pastorates prided themselves on having "special" tailor-made (mitzvot) prohibitions each guy concocted for his particular flock to adhere to. One Mr. Gerald Witte of Flint, MI comes to mind. If you were in WCG & visited his "special" Flint MI/Lansing MI pastorate for sabbath/holy days, he would expressly go on & on with his ego about how visitors should not get too involved with or become nosy toward his "special" angles. Mr. Witte assumed God was inspiring a set of new 613 mitzvot, through him, to be meant ONLY for his cong. in Flint/Lansing. So the varied WCG ministry SURELY had some that were pro-transfusions, & some that were anti-transfusions. (wonder if some in new COG are electing for gastric bypass too often, instead of cutting back on the Doritos & Hostess Ho-Hos & Sonics & Carl's Jr. & Popeye's)🍔🍟
But is is comforting, 12:14, that you wish the naturally pretty lady had used some 3rd tithe $$$ to address her assessment of facial appearance. Thanks for independent courage on that sentiment, totally agree with you on that one.
When will this article on WCG Talmud reach the grand total tally of 613 "new mitzvot" meant for puffed, super-apostolic COG?
Bob & some of his 100 caucasians are going all-out now for colored dress shirts 👔in league with Fox etc. No "r.i.n.o.s" allowed in CCOG, they noticed long ago that Mr. Obama & Dems prefer white shirts more often than blue. Repubs. want to identify more with the "blue collar man" and subtly adopted the blued shirts more. Bob even goes gray & black often just to further distance himself from Dems. white shirts.
Awww! gasp, if one wore a goatee like Marynard G. Krebs or the beatniks.
But what a relief Mr. Sebastian Gorka now has dispelled the anti-beard/goatee phobia, even there on Fox.
8:09 said...."Bob & some of his 100 caucasians are going all-out now for colored dress shirts 👔in league with Fox etc. No "r.i.n.o.s" allowed in CCOG, they noticed long ago that Mr. Obama & Dems prefer white shirts more often than blue. Repubs. want to identify more with the "blue collar man" and subtly adopted the blued shirts more. Bob even goes gray & black often just to further distance himself from Dems. white shirts."
As much as I recognize Thiel to be a blithering idiot and a false teacher, interjecting politics into what he wears is ludicrous. Not everything in this world needs to be about the Democrats or Republicans. Get a life.
Feel like I heard that one too, 5:32, but its a pretty distant memory.
A few years back Bob decided that the two witnesses would wear black, so he started wearing a lot of it in his vain hope to be even more special than he thinks he is. He seems to have backed away from that a little bit recently.
ok then why did he adopt non-white shirts at the same time Repubs. did
You just wait, 9:20, till the next time you yourself see something you don't like whether it be on the Rep. side, or the Dem. side...and all of us find ways of tying that crap up into political spin, in the ghastly bi-polar politic options we have thrown at us. (in this "life"). that I myself am living too, with anyone else including yooooooo
I did "get a life" after 1995, I went with no COG splinter & stayed independent. But I scan a few of them now to see if they cleaned up their act(s).
One of your 613 new mitzvot for me, from your talmud, is that I "get a life". Ok only 612 more to go, next...
Probably shouldn't say "you bet" either. Or "golly". Goll-ee, Sgt. Carter.
Or omg nowadays. Or even "oh my" or "my stars".
& definitely not : lmao.
Can't use "fool" hardly ever.
Don't ride motorcycle to svcs. either or the fuddy-duddies with think you're a reformed Hell angel m/c.
I dont know that correlation equals causation here.
In the mid-60s I/we were being told no rock and roll at all, not just hard rock. I had an honest discussion with my local minister. I could have asked him what was evil about Bobby Rydell's music.
Men should have their hair "clean cut". Nothing below the collar.
It's okay for young boys to wear shorts to church, but older boys must wear trousers and a tie.
No makeup.
Don't celebrate birthdays, go to birthday parties.
Don't foster non-church friendships.
Play/watch non-contact sports only. No football, boxing or martial arts.
Don't play bingo or buy tickets for lucky draws, because that's really gambling.
Don't read books or watch movies with witches or wizards in them.
Reading non-fiction is superior.
Don't play Dungeons and Dragons.
Don't get a job as an actor.
The children shall be taught the Old Testament scriptures thoroughly, but never get around to the New Testament, life of Jesus, etc.
The children must not eat from the adults' snack table after church, because they're too greedy. They may eat only from the designated children's snack table.
Piano is good for church music. Organ is too much like Satan's churches. Drums are for rock music which is Satan's music. Mr Armstrong didn't like the guitar.
Don't go to the doctor unless you've first been anointed, but even then, not going to the doctor shows you're a person of faith.
Eat brown bread and natural foods for radiant, vibrant health. White bread, white sugar, processed foods are a corruption of "man's ways".
It's not "the gospel about Jesus", it's "the gospel OF Jesus" (about the soon-coming kingdom of God).
Tell people about Jesus... being in the grave for 3 days & 3 nights, not 1-and-some-bits days, and it wasn't actually a Sunday morning resurrection. Discuss the correct timing of Passover in the Old and New Testaments.
Whenever you come across "Lord" in the Old Testament, read it as "Eternal" (because "Lord" is overused in mainstream Christian church culture).
I know that Gavin was being "cheeky", as the Kiwis say, through the use of the word "Talmud", but the fact is, HWA and his staff of writers were always cautious when they put the church's beliefs to paper and ink. I can't tell you how many times revisionist defenders of their faith have asked, in the course of discussions, "What booklet or article says that??? It was never a teaching of God's church!!!"
The fact is, there always was the written teachings, but there were also the oral teachings. These were things that were expounded upon from the pulpit, for the ears of members only, and were frequently greatly amplified versions of the doctrines, spoken only in the safely secluded church services, the privacy of which were carefully protected by the "super deacs". Herbert Armstrong did like his own types of music, but that is where the similarities between himself and Jerry Garcia end! Bootleg tapes of services were forbidden, rather than being encouraged!
When I first read Gavin's list as his latest blog entry, I said to myself, "Damn! This crap was going on there, too?" We've always had people who will say, "Well, none of this was going on in our congregation!" But, those folks are forgetting some things! First of all, they are forgetting all the things they say never happened, and secondly, they are forgetting the Ninth Commandment! Apparently, it's OK to break that commandment in defending one's church. How quaint!
What an excellent summation, 9:17, many of us remember the "oral teachings" exclusively perused & podium-pounded & ex-pounded "for members only".
Flint MI's Witte/Milner dynamic-duo team was exceptionally "exclusivist" with wacked crap like the damn Hippocrates 4 Personalities Types "test" those 2 goons pressed onto the pastorate flock.
Visiting there from nearby congregations, one could see that flock delightedly puffing itself up in glee ESPECIALLY if one turned out on the checklist test as a "choleric"! (any Flint person who ended up onto the choleric one, visibly swelled with pride & broadcast it around often, like this : "I'M A CHOLERIC!" I'm likely to be a big LEADER).
And anyone registered as the poor "phlegmatic" one, would be pitied by that condescending flock of "Christians", & pressed by them to "develop more self-esteem, you phlegmatic milque-toast". (and forget about any singles there dating you if you were the "phlegmatic")...the grand prize in WCG Dating Game was to be paired up with a prime, CHOLERIC!
Here are the 4 "judgements" Flint/Lansing would pass out to their tithing testament teamsters : sanguine (pleasure-‐seeking and sociable), choleric (ambitious and leader-‐like), melancholic (analytical and literal), and phlegmatic (relaxed and thoughtful
Looking back, isn't it odd that test was devised by pagan Hippocrates? https://cbc-network.org/2012/08/thank-god-hippocrates-was-pagan/
What a Gilligan's Isle of dread it was to be in Flint/Lansing WCG.
(rumour has it that PCG still is stranded on that Isle, marooned to this day...)
In the RCG, Dave has a third category of law. So, there's "written", "oral", and "rectal" teaching, iow, the stuff he pulls out of his butt!
"Women should not go braless." -- even in the bath/shower or in bed?
"Do not allow your children to join the boy scouts" -- considering some boy scout leaders turned out to be homosexual pedophiles, this might have been good advice.
"Do not break an engagement to be married." -- which is why so many WCG marriages failed. The engaged couple might have realised they were not right for each other, but were too scared to end it, before it was too late.
"Women should not wear two-piece bathing suits and especially not bikinis." -- spoilsports.
"Sex on Friday night is OK for married people." -- I guess that means non-married people can only have sex Saturday night to Thursday night. And married people can only have sex on Friday night?
Not sure how prevalent it was elsewhere, but in the UK it was a deadly sin to eat white bread or anything made with white flour. It had to be wholemeal flour and bread only. WCG meant Wholewheat Church of God to some.
Does white bread really sound that healthy? Ever watch Wonder white bread & milk disintegrate into malt o meal mush quicker than your stout Ezekiel 4:9 bread🍞
no, they're supposed to have SOX on Fri. night
& Cubs on Sat. night
Heh! Mad Magazine had a parody on truth in advertising. The big print on the label said "Wonder Bread", and they had small print, so if you read it, it actually said "You Wonder if it's Bread"
They also had a picture of a busy section of town, with hilarious signs for the fast food restaurants, like "Bowel Burgers" And that was in the early '70s! Imagine what they could do today considering all the urban legends and conspiracy theories!
Is Mad still around? I wonder what insights they would be portraying regarding disgraced former president Trump?
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