Note: Please read Dixon Cartwright's comment below in the comments section about the original article. While it was apparently satire, Armstrongism is filled with people who actually believe and say this kind of silliness as fact. It is no wonder so many took it at face value because of our history, which truly speaks volumes about the state of mind of many in the church.
The latest issue of
The Journal is out and as usual it does
NOT
disappoint! It is an eclectic mix of the extremes in Armstrongism; all
looking to legitimize their group or selves.
This issue has a story by Bernie Mansalvo, from the Church of God Big
Sandy. He believes he has traveled back in time to be the faithful scribe
to Ezekiel.
He writes:
Is time travel possible? Can events in the future be perceived by mere
mortals? Conversely, can the the past be relived?
I believe it is not only possible but has happened. I have vividly imagined
a conversation of thousands of years ago with one of my mentors in the ways of
the Lord.
At the time there was no English language, only Hebrew, Aramaic, Greek and
Babylonian, and yet we were able to communicate.
Ezekiel ben Buzi ben Adam did indeed time-travel, and I think I did too by
picking up his first impressions. I was at the time Barnabas ben Monsalvo,
Ezekiel’s faithful amanuensis.
Are there other events in the future waiting to be witnessed in our time?
Can the past be probed?
Please, dear reader, you decide
He then goes on to describe floating in a chariot through the sky of the
land of the Chaldean's until he arrived at the valley of the dry bones.
There, his chariot flew the distance of the valley, 30-40 miles, at about 15
feet above the bones. The entire valley, through that entire distance,
was all bones.
Then the "Lord" decides to speak to Bernie and calls him "The
Son of Man." This "Lord" asks Bernie, The Son of Man,
"can these bones live?" Bernie thought it was particularly cool
that the "Lord" would speak so endearingly as to call him the Son of
Man.
Bernie is then instructed to prophesy to the dried up bones:
“Prophesy to these bones, and say to them, ‘O dry bones, hear the word of
the LORD! Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones: “Surely I will cause breath to
enter into you, and you shall live. I will put sinews on you and bring flesh
upon you, cover you with skin and put breath in you; and you shall live. Then
you shall know that I am the LORD.”
Bernie, by being the Son of Man, was able to bring the bones back to
life. The only problem was that they were Zombies.
I kid you
not!
Zombies for only a moment
The bones, now whole skeletons, began growing sinews and flesh. Skeletons
became hideous zombie like creatures.
Then the zombies, in a twinkling of an eye, morphed into healthy, rosy human
bodies.
They looked healthy, except that there seemed to be no breath in them. They
were lying everywhere, even in piles. They seemed to be asleep, dormant, dead
to the world
Then, the zombies started gaining muscle and skin. While no longer
zombies they were still naked.
Then, all of a sudden, clothing started
appearing on them. Bernie's "Lord" said to breathe the breathe
of life into them:
I blinked and notice that the bodies were beginning to seemingly magically
acquire clothing. They had been naked. Now they were wearing attire:
utilitarian, nothing fancy.
Then the LORD said to me: “Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and
say to the breath, thus says the Lord GOD: ‘Come from the four winds, O breath,
and breathe on these slain, that they may live.’
Bernie then realized that the people coming alive before him were relatives
from the village he supposedly grew up in, some of them maybe even great-great
grandparents that had been able to cross through the Red Sea when the waters
were divided.
I was surprised to find that I recognized some of the people, some who had
been my teachers. Others were elders and instructors in my village. I wondered
if I might meet my own great great-grandparents and hear firsthand what it was
like to cross the Red Sea with Moses.
Bernie then began to speak on a thunderous voice to the multitude of revived
zombies. The "Lord" instructed him to take two sticks and write
on them and then divide them into tribes. Bernie then gets out his
fountain pen and ink out and starts writing on the branches.
“As for you, son of man, take a stick for yourself and write on it: ‘For
Judah and for the children of Israel, his companions.’ Then take another
stick and write on it, ‘For Joseph, the stick of Ephraim, and for all the house
of Israel, his companions.’ Then join them one to another for yourself into one
stick, and they will become one in your hand.”
Looking around at the trees, I found a couple of good-sized sticks. I peeled
the bark and a neat white surface lay beneath. I found my pen and ink and wrote
on each stick as I was told.
Then, these really, really cool revived people suddenly took upon themselves
to appoint leaders who eagerly stared at Bernie waiting to see what he was
writing on the sticks:
Some of the people who had recently come alive had organized
themselves and selected elderly spokesmen. The masses and their spokesmen
watched me intently.
Bernie then told these fascinated leaders that God was reuniting them as a
people so they could live just as they did 2,000 years ago. Imagine being
resurrected back to life and then being told you had to go back 2,000 years in
time to live in dirt and mud houses in the heat of the desert. What a
bitch!
I reminded the elders about God’s promise to reunite the 12 tribes so they
could live as they lived when they first entered the Promised Land.
Then, in a typical Church of God fashion, Bernie exclaims what a privileged
it will be to live UNDER the authority of King David. No Jesus in this
equation, but plenty of Hebrew heroes.
We will be one kingdom again, never to be defiled again by idols. God will
gather His people from everywhere to restore them spiritually. He will fulfill
His purpose for us: to be our God forever.
We will not be deceived again by false shepherds. We will have David again
as our king: King David, the man after God’s own heart, the man forgiven of his
trespasses and hideous sins before God.
Bernie then begrudgingly has to mention his "Lord."
Apparently it is Jesus, though he cannot say the name:
The elders were just beginning to understand what God was saying: that they
would be given a new life, a new life under David and his princes, a new life
under One Shepherd.
David will organize their nation while the LORD, our Shepherd, will guide
us.
Bernie then adds:
In my whole experience today, the LORD told me several times that these
people will know who their God is.
They will know Him as the God of miracles, a God who gives life, a God who
conquers death, a God who as a loving Father provides an abundant table for His
people.
Bernie then ends his amazingly awesome message with this:
Was this a vision, a dream, a glimpse into the future?
As a priest, I knew I had to comfort my fellow Jews in captivity with this
story. I resolved to sit down just now and write it all up.
God is real
I wouldn’t try to distinguish what was real and what was not. To me,
everything was real.
The Eternal God is real to me. My relationship with Him is real.
The magnificent picture of millions of people from all nations coming back
to life is real.
I’ll let my people know they have so much to look forward to.
May God speed that day when our people will have David as their king and the
Lord GOD as the True Shepherd of Israel!
Got to get busy
I have no idea how everything I’ve witnessed, felt and rejoiced over will be
delivered to the intended audience: the rest of the scattered children of
Israel.
That is a question for another time.
I must get busy writing it all up while I do my best to be faithful to the
words of the LORD
All the Churches of God claim to be followers of Jesus, but he always gets
put on the short bus around the Kingdom. David, HWA, Flurry, Pack and
others always get more credit and favor in God's sight than anything Jesus ever
did on that lonely hill of Calvary.
Lest you believe that what I wrote above is all made up, you can read the
entire story
here. Read it and be amazed or
appalled.
